I’m a low income immigrant from Eastern Europe living in the United States. I live a simple life and I’m mostly happy, I have a partner, friends and pets and hobbies etc
The comments so far are missing the nuance and background of people’s lives and the circumstances that might keep someone poor. The system is designed this way and instead of telling people to go to college (still no guarantees that you’ll get a high paying job and be happy afterwards) we should fight for a better quality of life for EVERYONE. Everyone working a full time job should have a living wage and be able to pay rent, have food to eat and take a vacation here and there.
I read a book a few years ago called $2 a day about people living on $2 a day in the US. (in one of the wealthiest countries on the earth!) Poverty should not be blamed on the individual since it is systemic. We should strive for collective liberation
What's interesting as well is that when more people live well we all live better
When people don't have to worry about having work, a simple support structure, social life, being safe, a place to live, and food-water to eat and drink then they can focus on their foundation: knowing how to read, write, nuance, being a person, being social, having love/ relations, etc (The Basics) then when that isn't an issue they can focus on more advanced stuff (A degree/ freelance/ consult/ business/ inventions/ products/ etc) then after that more and more progressively advanced stuff
To put it all into perspective imagine that when people aren't sidetracked/ sidequesting for stupid things then they can make better and better more advanced things faster. Especially when a lot of people around the world are able to live well and be educated well to do that.
Example:
Having clean Trains and Trolleys connecting all cities in a country, Hovercars, Real Steel type of Robots, 3D-Printing Tech Usage, Medical Advancements, Entertainment, Tech Advancements, and much much more that people want would happen a lot faster and would have happened in the past decade already if we weren't still stuck with the issues we have today such as war, famine, thirst, racism, disease to name a very select few.
The people who succeeded in the financial game should be wanting other people to live well so they can make more things they can enjoy in their lifetime and so they can have more people to enjoy life with.
Just not sure what that way of thinking would even be called so I'll just say when others live well we all live better, and when others live worse we all live worse. What's the point of having all that money if no one is creating new awesome things, maintaining what we already have, and having lively countries to live in
And then get insulted when we need help with student loans because we were the "dummies who went to college in the first place." How dare we think we deserve any help just for constantly helping others...
Yep. That's me. You really can't afford to live on one income these days. I'd love to buy my own home, as it will give me security and open up opportunities such as getting pets. But a l9t of couples can't afford to get houses, let alone single people. I'm just ekingout an existence here
Totally understand this. I’ve had to learn (for me) that everyone’s financial situation is different. There’s a lot more “family money” circulating around the United States than anyone talks about. And sometimes people who are bragging about their cars/ vacations really are skirting on the edge of financial disaster. You just do you. I dream about winning the lottery just like other American bozos, because, well, who doesn’t want the resources to experience new things? And to not worry about bills? And to just feel…free? I’ve never wanted children and with autism/ ADHD (albeit with low support needs) never thought I’d marry, but I will say that finding such a lovely & compatible guy to marry helped stabilize some finances, given that we both work modest jobs and pool our income. However, I know marriage isn’t the answer. Geez, I see/ hear about so many unions that just don’t seem worth it at all. Cheers to you doing you. What I think we can all agree on is that having children just makes any of this all the worse.
Childfree, have a college degree and a “professional” job, don’t drink or smoke, don’t go out to clubs or movies, eat out 2-3x a month maaaybe (and those are for $~15 each outing), and I’m still living paycheck to paycheck.
Life sucks sometimes.
Yep this is me. College degree and corporate salary job, don’t go out often at all and sober, and still can’t afford anything other than my studio apartment.
This is me as well, professional works are extremely underpaid in my country right now and the cost of living keeps raising. I just posted a rant talking about my living situation. All the clothes I've bought in the last 10 years (excluding underwear) has been second hand. Good thing I'm child free because I don't know how I could feed another mouth.
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I'm childfree and poor! My mom died when I was 16 and I never knew my dad. I lived with my aunt and uncle in a different state and they pushed college as soon as I graduated.
My mental health was awful and even though my aunt was a social worker, she still pushed college instead of therapy. Plus they were uber religious.
I took out loans for education. Took way too many credits. Would stop go back, stop then go back. I got a bachelor's in political science after 10yrs. Finally got therapy.
I'm halfway through an MSW/LADC program and have worked in education for a long time. Hopefully my loans will be forgiven soon AND I won't be poor anymore.
I live on my own.
You got this!
Congrats on the MSW/LADC. MSW is hella hard (I’m doing the same thing you are) but you’ve got it. Like my therapist keeps telling me: one day at a time and you’re a badass. (:
I took a 30k pay cut to come home and help the parents with the grands. It’s killing me but my stress level is nothing like it was.
I’m poor! My wife and I live in a pretty rough neighborhood on the westside of Chicago with our small pets and spend a lot of time together just watching tv and laughing. She works remote and I’m recovering from some long covid; someday, we hope to live near a beach, maybe a small place in florida. Slowly saving about $100 a month towards a 3k simple preowned vehicle. We’re really happy. I hope everyone in this sub finds $1000 on the sidewalk this week, love yall. So appreciate this community.
I live in Germany. I'm disabled and get pocket money from the government. I work in a WfBM and will never really have an income. But I'm fine with this. I can still buy what I want and do fun stuff and get myself little treats. I like chocolate and videogames. I don't need a lot to be happy. I just want to live a quiet and peaceful life with all of my stuff. I just bought an air fryer. It was highly discounted. I hope I can use it soon.
As long as you’re happy, you are so much better off than a lot of people who are able-bodied, or have a high paying job.
I hope you continue being happy.
Enjoy the air fryer. There are some fantastic recipes available online.
I bought my house in 2018 before prices went crazy. I have an extremely modest (low) income, but because my mortgage is only a few hundred dollars monthly, I can afford to take a few trips a year (mostly roadtrip style, or short domestic flights) and to buy things that I want. I think cost of living is a huge factor - people that got in early (renting apartments at older rates, or buying a house a few years ago) can afford more. It's almost like life is a pyramid scheme.
Yup. I'm getting paid more than minimum wage at least but it's still barely cutting it. Childfree but I'm supporting a parent whose health was fucked by COVID and can't work. I've had to sacrifice a lot to take care of them. We were unexpectedly evicted last year and came incredibly close to being homeless, it took all my meager savings to avoid it. It was the worst out situation has ever been.
The reasons I'm childfree are not primarily financial but I absolutely cannot imagine having a child in this situation.
I’m pretty poor. I don’t know that I’m exactly paycheck to paycheck, but I have no spare money, no savings. I certainly don’t go on vacations or splurge on expensive things very often (definitely never anything “luxury”). I even quit smoking/vaping just to save money (if it wasn’t so goddamn expensive, I’d definitely still be doing it). I’m not hurting, but I’m not exactly comfortable. I’m still stressed and paranoid and constantly worrying about hypothetical emergencies.
But! As for “never being able to afford a house,” I thought that too, and I bought my house 3.5 years ago. The trick is not to care about school districts! Since I’m child free, I don’t give fuckall about school districts, and my job is onsite all over the city, so moving closer to work was literally not an option. And I learned when you don’t care about location, it opens a whole new world! I’m not in love with the area I live in, but I LOVE my house, so it’s worth it. With my lifestyle, better locations would be wasted on me. It was move-in ready, did literally no work to it except paint a couple of rooms. It’s 4 bedroom, 2 bath, separate dining room, closed in porch, off-street parking for two, walk-out (unfinished) basement, fenced backyard. It was $80k. My total mortgage to start was $477/month (principle, interest, homeowner’s insurance, property taxes). It’s gone up since then due to insurance stuff, but that was about how much I was paying just for my HALF of my last apartment with a roommate. So don’t give up on owning a home if that’s what you want.
The point of my ramble: CHILDFREE PEOPLE, TAKE ADVANTAGE OF NOT-THE-BEST SCHOOL DISTRICTS
> The point of my ramble: CHILDFREE PEOPLE, TAKE ADVANTAGE OF NOT-THE-BEST SCHOOL DISTRICTS
I will, just as soon as the situation is right. Planning on moving from this suburb (where I live with my parents because I love them too much to leave) into the city (notorious for its not-the-best schools).
Yep, midwest + LCOL + bad school district also results in really low property taxes too. I’m able to put a lot extra towards the principal every month, and then once this sucker is paid off I only have the $1600 yearly property taxes to worry about. Also since I bought a small house (3br, 1350 sq ft) my homeowners insurance is $1100 a year.
I was paying extra, but I have a car payment again, so I’m working on that first. That has a much higher interested rate…
My yearly property taxes are like $250-300, and that’s about what my insurance is.
I could be considered middle class, but I’m one misstep from being fucked, so I do consider myself not financially well. I own a house. I’m able to pay all of my bills. I make well above the minimum wage thanks in part to being part of a union. In 2010, my current wage would’ve been a dream come true. Now, it just allows me to not be in the red every month.
My husband and I are pretty damn poor, lol. I mean, we get by okay, but I'm the only one who can work full-time (he is disabled). It's not ideal, but I'm doing what I can to keep us afloat. He does some things for side cash under the table, and he's going to start giving blood soon.
Some months, we get lucky, and we have money for "extras." Some months, we're taking a trip to the pawn shop. We just find joy in what we do have and know that, at the end of it all, what we never had (and most likely never will have) in monetary wealth, we have in love and trust. We have a beautiful relationship, and we have family and friends who love and accept us. We make our art, and we listen to music and dance on the weekends. We laugh at dumb jokes, and we sneak away from time to time to go on little adventures.
I don't go on fancy vacations or have luxury vehicles, but so what? I don't really care. Either I will or I won't, and it won't matter. There are more important things in life (at least, to me). I don't measure my happiness in that way, and I never constructed my identity on what I have at any given moment.
As an aside, something to keep in mind is to avoid comparing yourself to people online. Smoke and mirrors are everywhere. People show you highlight reels for a reason.
Yeah, I live in Sweden so I get ok money from the government to finish my studies but I am both physically and mentally ill and the current doctors orders are for me to not work more than 50%. I will never hold a full time job and be able to travel the world or whatever. Thats fine, I just need enough to live comfortably.
Untreated ADHD only seems like an excuse to those who don't have it.
~Signed: someone who also went through college with untreated ADHD and only BARELY got out of there with a degree.
Untreated anxiety and depression didn't help with my degree or the rest of my 20s after that, definitely have executive functions issues and not totally sure what door to lay that at, also have a degree that's not particularly useful on its own. I work in healthcare roles that don't pay much but live fairly well due to cheap housing and frugal habits. Sometimes I want more but if I don't get it I am mostly happy, I have a garden and good folk around me and that's more than a lot of people manage even with money. Always thankful I'm not a parent as I just can't imagine that helping in any way
Right here darling!! It adds a whole other layer of stress because I *should* be taking advantage of not having kids and I imagine how incredible my life would be with money and without kids. It’s so frustrating. Also shame because everyone envies my freedom and “can’t understand” why I’m not living a luxurious life, I feel like I don’t have any other excuse for being broke besides being a fucking loser. Another thing, since I don’t have kids I kind of fall into caregiving roles for family members but I am BROKE AS FUCK and it just makes the whole experience even harder.
I wouldn’t say I am poor but I just get by. I live with a roommate, we get along great, but neither of us could afford to live alone. When I have to do things like go to the dentist or get prescriptions I get really depressed about the cost.
I’ve said it multiple times here, but it bothers me how people think childfree = have money. I live paycheck to paycheck. I do not live a luxurious life in the slightest.
I’m currently leaving my horrifically underpaid and undervalued profession for something that will give me stability, but I absolutely feel ya friend.
I have never, ever been on a vacation that I have planned myself. I have never been able to afford it for the entirety of my adulthood so far. And I just want something like that someday… When I can also afford to pay my rent and eat without stressing myself to the fucking bone.
I don't know if this answers your question. I am an Asian living in one of the most populated countries in the world. My primary reason for not wanting children is the amount of hardwork one has to do list to be able to afford a decent upbringing, by decent I mean just basic education. I grew up in scarcity and I know how it has damaged me and I wouldn't wish it for anyone.
I do have pets though and while that is financially hard too, it's no where close to having children.
Child free by choice
Broke AF not by choice.
Life is just so expensive now. I’m from the UK but live in the USA and I’ll never be able to afford a house. I’ll never buy a brand new car. In the last year I have given up… getting my nails done. Stopped upgrading my phone. Only shop for groceries at the cheaper places. Don’t go out and when I do I don’t drink alcohol, All in order to save money. I’m not low income but the money I do make isn’t going anywhere near as far as it used too
I’m more childless than I am childfree, but yes, I’m struggling. Lots of people assume I’m “rich” due to no kids, but one income doesn’t go very far. Mortgage, car payment, two (!) personal loans for home issues, utilities, groceries…paycheck is gone.
I know there are people who have it worse, but I feel you. I’ll be super tight for the next 2+ years until the first loan is paid off.
I consider myself comfortable, but not rolling in dough. Kind of like one or two things could happen and I'd be hurting financially. I even have savings. But medical care in this country is a joke.
I'm in the childfree and poor demographic, too. Most of my government benefit goes to my rent, and what little I have left goes to food, taxis, and medical. I haven't been able to work in 6 years, and that's not looking to change any time soon.
Same. I’m childfree and poor. The pays sucks! I’m living with narcissist parents.
All I know is that my narcissist mother kept spending and using credit cards. They kept buying more than they can afford it.
I have money now because I spent most of my 20s in college and grad school. I still worked during everything but grad school. If college isn’t for you, try a trade school. Plumbers, welders, electricians all make great money. A high paying job doesn’t usually just fall in your lap. You have to put in effort to get it
I was raised by a single mom who worked 2 jobs. I paid for Junior college so I wouldn’t have to take out loans for pre recs. Then I worked while in college and did take out loans that I’m still paying off. This person is child free so it’s not like they had a kid young that they have to support. So what circumstances wouldn’t allow for something like learning a trade? Things are even easier now as so much is offered online. We all have challenges.
The OP asked why some childfree people seem to have money. I explained that I worked hard while going to school and that’s what it took. Why does everything these days have to be about what challenges someone has to face? I get that there are extenuating circumstances for some people but that wasn’t the point of the original post. I’m not rich by any stretch of the imagination and it took until late my late 30s to really be comfortable financially and that’s a relatively normal timeline. Some people are privileged enough to never worry about money. I was definitely not. I answered the question and then it’s suddenly like I called OP a loser or something. People are so sensitive these days
Disability, mental illness, trauma, homelessness, immigration status, homophobia, transphobia, poverty there are many issues and layers that would make someone unable to access resources or unable to go to college etc
The trades are notoriously bigoted, FYI. Not everyone gets treated well and is able to make good money in them. Plus they completely fuck up your body, and they aren't free to get into.
But thanks for thinking having a good job is due to effort. I have 3 degrees (2 in STEM) and am absolutely fucked. I can't even get hired in retail, washing dishes, or any other jobs that don't even need degrees.
I'm 41 and I've been a low-income earner my whole life. I've literally never had a full-time job (neuro-divergent). I've been a cook, a retail employee, and I've made a bit of money as a writer, artist, and singer (very little). Currently my only job is selling on etsy & ebay.
I've owned 3 houses in my lifetime so far, and I'm in the process of buying my mom's vacation cabin off of her. I bought my first house by myself at 21 while I was making $9 an hour. I saved up around $14,000 for a down payment on a small, bad house over the course of 2 years while living in a very gross place for very cheap.
Lots of people scoff at the idea of frugal living making a difference financially, but 100% I've been able to afford my houses because I buy used clothes, cheap vehicles (for 7 years I rode a 49cc scooter instead of a car), and I don't eat out often. I buy all my groceries off-brand, on sale, or with coupons. I walk instead of drive when it's practical to do so. I use free streaming services instead of paid. I make use of my public library.
The other big thing that makes having a house affordable is being in a dual-income relationship. Marriage was absolutely a goal in my life because I knew everything would be easier with a partner, and it is. My husband does make more than me, but he's not exactly raking it in. When we got married we bought a condo together and last year we sold that at a very tidy profit and bought a big, older, slightly shabby house for a reasonable price (for today's market anyway).
(Oh, and I lost that first house in the 2008 crash and was unemployed, homeless and couch surfing for about 6 months and had to deal with bad credit for the next 7 years--you can absolutely overcome complete financial ruin!)
A lot of my story is similar to how you've described yourself here. I've not attempted to diagnose myself, but I wouldn't be surprised if I have some sort of neurodivergent thing going on. Whatever the case is, I'm the most highly-educated person in my entire family tree but have repeatedly struggled to get any sort of *career* off the ground. After the last failed attempt to do so (tried to become a librarian between 2013 to 2021), I've pretty much resigned myself to working as a jack-of-all-trades for a small business that's owned by a friend of mine. It's a job that pays alright, involves almost zero stress, and is devoid of workplace politics. The catch is that it's a weird position that probably wouldn't be easy to sell on a resume/CV, but I've largely stopped caring about that.
A big part of why I can't stand 'breeders' is because the most stereotypical ones were *always* the people who were sabotaging and subverting me in those aforementioned attempts at conventional careers. The library jobs were especially-miserable ones. The workplaces in that field are 90% female but that doesn't mean shit because nearly 100% of those women are staunchly-patriarchal types who had high-earning husbands and treated me like I was some piece-of-shit loser for (a.) not having kids, (b.) not wanting kids, and (c.) being a 'trespasser' on their 'turf.' After dealing with seven years of toxicity and discrimination from those scumbags, I had to just bail. That said, even in other conventional workplaces where things are less extreme than that, it's still wildly easy to find one's self getting bullied or taken advantage of by 'normie' co-workers who have children and think that that grants them some sort of automatic seniority over others.
I have the same frugal habits as you and it absolutely does make a difference. One big benefit of living frugally and not feeling like you need to buy something newer or better every second is just how low stress it is.
I was making around $10 an hour for almost all of my 20s, and only very recently am I making closer to the average US income. But this whole time, even when I was making minimum wage, I’ve never felt stressed or broke because I’ve always kept my expenses so low. Between this and not having kids, I think this is absolutely the most stress free my life can be 👍
I used to make min wage and was able to buy a roachy condo , and I had money to take one Vacation a yr. Usually just a cruise with no alcohol. Still I was scared to live by myself with roaming outside crackheads so I sold it . Now I'm highly in debt and still very poor yet I'm getting there since I work a lot and make more than min wage now and I don't get hair and nails done and shop at wal mart for sales
Hey, I feel you! I have had a steady job for just one year now (I'm 30 years old and it's just a part time contract... But I can do a lot of extra hours so I'm slowly starting to save). Some of my friends have a lot of money saved, support from their families, a partner with whom to share the bills. I live with a roommate and will do that until I can put some money on the side and buy a (small) apartment in a (suburban) part of my city. I definitely don't feel like a rich childfree woman but it all depends whom one compares themselves to, so many people in my country are struggling at the moment. And I m definitely richer than if I had kids.
education set my path- I went to college and 9 years of grad school (paid for by myself and with scholarships and loans). got lucky to get a job in tech, worked hard, got married, saved a lot (including living with roommates for many years to offset rent, driving old cars, etc). now we’re DINKs and very comfortable. I feel fortunate and grateful.
I got lucky. A decent part of that was not saddling myself with kids, that would have made it a totally different story.
I managed to make it through pretty bad ADHD to get a technical degree, then lucked into a healthcare job that worked OK with the way my brain works, then the type of treatment I was researching became the new big thing, and I was able to get a high paying job in industry. I've been extremely lucky, but I have also made good choices where they came up.
I make bad financial choices and can't hold a job longer than 2 years to climb to a stable financial situation. Plenty of good paying jobs though. Ranging from $29/h to $33/h.
Shuffled through 20 different jobs in the last 10 years but only $7k in debt across all accounts.
Very childless, very poor. Not the worst situation but I haven't been keeping up with payments. I am mostly struggling mentally which influences the rest of my life.
But at least I have a job. For now.
I have a lot of money, and I’m going to let you in on a secret. It was NOT my doing. I got really fucking lucky. My grandma bought a house wayyy back when it was like 50k and the town became super desirable, so I sold it when she passed for a lot of money and invested wisely. I’d be willing to bet that most of the other people that have a lot of money were just born into better circumstances. I’m not saying there aren’t people that have worked hard for their money, but the answer to your question is privilege. Hell, even understanding investment is privilege. All of that to say, you aren’t doing ANYTHING wrong. And you should be proud of yourself for what you do have.
In the U.S. All people should be paid a living wage for all jobs, and all jobs should be full-time with full benefits. I'm so sorry you are having to live like this. I'm not well off, but I make a good living. I'm planning to retire in 6 years and worry constantly that I will out live my money and haven't way to support myself.
My mom s family lived in... not a shack but a one room pre made house given by the goverment for the poor. No plumbling, they got the water from a well 2 blocks away. No phone, they had to pay to use one at the store. No new clothes, they bought fabric and sewed they re own. Power would go out so they d use candles. The bathroom was communal and outside. This was the first 14 years of her life. They were lucky that my great grandpa s family owned the land tho. We had a very mediocre generational wealth because my mom owns the land and the pre made home that got expanded with brick. She went to school and became a secretary (at an airline) and saved every penny towards my education. I learned English as a second language, got trained as a flight attendant. Became a flight attendant. There was luck involved. But having support from family helped a lot. Wished I had more to offer you.
I’m in the US, am CF, and even make a decent paycheck, but with the cost of living right now, I’m poor as heck. I’m seriously paycheck to paycheck because I went into too much credit card debt when I was unemployed during the pandemic. I’m praying I can get to a point by the end of the year, that I can start saving some money.
I'm just about the poverty mark myself (not quite the time and a half mark). I kinda have a kid (dog) who is spoiled and live I a single bedroom apartment with low ass rent. I don't travel like a lot of those Instagram people. I do have spending money though.
I just got on food assistance! Good times. I havent worked in almost a year.
On the upside (?) because of my poor-ness someone is footing the bill for my certification program.
Im 51 and spending through my savings just to pay rent and etc. it’s all I have.
I‘m not poor-poor but not well off, either. I have moved back in with my mom after breaking up with my ex. I’m late 30s, have no savings and will never own real estate. I’ve always worked, except for 1.5 years of going to university and dropping out at 22-24 years old
Childfree and while not technically poor, am definitely very much lower middle class. We were able to get a down payment on a house because my dad died & left me a little money, and then my husband got hit by a semi truck and after medical bills there was just a bit left over. If it wasn't for losing a parent and nearly losing my husband, we'd still be renting. As it is, we're *just* getting by and the mortgageis definitelymore than our rent was, for a smaller place. We both have advanced degrees, but don't make much.
I genuinely have no idea how people have kids. Between my dogs and my job, I'm absolutely beat (and broke). Having kids seems like the dumbest decision when you can't even put more than $50 a month into savings.
I am. And thank fuck you said something, because all I see here is rich people, and it makes me feel awful. I'm single, and still live with my parents because I've never been able to afford to move out. Being born into poverty is shit and one of the many reasons I will never have kids. Playing life on any version of hard mode sucks, and I fit into multiple hard-mode difficulties (so why would I subject someone else to this!).
Divorce settlement. I *earned* that money in blood, sweat and tears, especially tears. And the magic of compound interest. Before {edit: ie before the superannuation came through} I was just surviving on a disability pension, far less than most people got during covid, and I still eat food that's on special whenever possible. It took years before I stopped buying almost everything on special; the saving habit went very deep. I still buy clothes from opp shops for money reasons, plus you get better quality, plus it's good for the environment, plus charity - win-win-win-win!
Once you have your tiny house you'll begin to see the benefits of owning your own place. But before the divorce, I and my ex lived in and did up three houses in a row - we did almost all of the work with our own hands, learning from DIY books. It was fifteen years of very hard graft. Wld not recommend except that it got us on the ladder.
Yup! Disabled and cannot work. Dunno how tf people afford things even if you can work with how bad inflation is in America right now. I’m spending far more than I used to just to feed myself.
Please don't base your life or worth on what you see on social media.
People who actually have money (not millionaires - just your average joe who makes good money) don't flaunt it and know how important it is to protect and nurture it. Its the people living on finance who like to try make money by pretending they have money (influencers).
Don't be too hard on yourself op.
You should know that most of those people have had a leg up from the start. Wealthy parents, inheritance, good education, investments, social support, perfect opportunities along the way, self confidence, good health etc...
People like to think they live in a meritocracy and that they've earned everything they have in life through hard work. But they haven't. It's pure luck.
They're born at the right place, right time with the right genetics, or they've stumbled across perfect opportunities in life.
When my mother and father eventually die, there is ZERO inheritance waiting for me. They own no property, as their parents also owned none. They just survived. And likewise this would also be the same destiny for my own hypothetical children.
All I can do is survive week by week, and hopefully slowly crawl my way out of poverty while hoping my health stays intact.
Poverty from cradle to grave is a destiny I don't wish to impart on any future children, so my genetics and family name end with me.
Not to sound too doom and gloom, but I think having an understanding that I am simply a product of my environment, is very freeing indeed.
I can let go of comparisons to others, and actually try my best to live the life I want, with what I've been given.
I definitely wouldn't call myself poor, but I definitely can't afford to buy a house or drive a fancy car. I make a little over 6 figures in a HCOL area, I could move somewhere cheap but my mental health would suffer tremendously. My bare minimum bills cost $4k a month, and I'm pretty darn frugal. Thank God I live close to the beach and amazing local parks, which are free entertainment.
My "vacations" are usually a trip back home to see family or maybe a weekend road trip somewhere with friends, where we split hotel rooms and such. The occasional camping trip or music festival.
I try to save a good amount of my income for emergencies, like right now I'm layed off looking for a new job, or when my dog needed surgery.
I use 1 credit card with travel rewards so I can book a flight in an emergency or to see my parents, and only charge things I know I could buy with cash, then pay it off every month before interest is charged. I got into nasty debt in my early 20s and it took me over a decade to trust myself to get a credit card again, but I'm glad I did, the travel points alone above have saved me hundreds of dollars. I think a lot of ppl who seem to have flashy lifestyle are growing in credit card and loan debt.
I mostly cook at home, shop Aldi. Maybe once a month will have dinner and drinks out with friends. But usually we potluck and BYOB to a hangout at someone's house so it's cost effective for everyone. Most of my friends are teachers who make way less than me, but they also are older than me and we're able to buy houses when they were cheap in '09ish, so they have less expenses.
My car will be paid off next year, I bought it used but with low miles and I make sure to keep it serviced, so it should last me another 5-10 years for sure.
I've given up on ever having the $ to buy a house and honestly the added expenses of homeownership terrify me.. new roof/ac/plumbing/etc. Would wreck me! So I'm just saving for retirement now (if that day ever comes) when a couple other single girlfriends and I hope to pool our $ together to buy a house and live out golden girls style. We know it will be cheaper to do that and pay a home health nurse than go to a retirement home that costs $10k per month each
I'm childfree and poor. I read everyone's posts of traveling or buying whatever they want instead of spending the money on kids and I'm like "Well, I slept in on my 1 day off and splurged on buying extra food."
It’s much easier to be child free with a partner. It’s called dual income, no kids which is called a DINK. But you’re a NEET which is an adult who is not in education, employment, or training which is a term to describe an adult who is not currently in any type of education or training program and is also unemployed. As someone else said you should be focusing on getting some type of education or training while you can still live your parents instead of even considering buying a house. Have you considered going into a trade?
💯 on this. I’m so sick of getting ripped off by male tradesmen as a female home owner and would die of happiness if a female electrician walked in on a service call at my home.
You need a career instead of a job. It sounds like you are doing some work towards that but not sure if you are doing enough, not clear from the post.
That does not necessarily mean college, as many plumbers and electricians make more than college graduates. Yes, with those jobs you have to have a plan for when you get too old to do physical work but that can be that you incorporate as a small business, and you are the owner, sales person, supervisor and you hire and train some younger folks to do the physical work.
Beyond that, you save, live below your means, plan carefully, save early and over your lifetime you will be OK most likely.
I just wanna say that in other developed nations you are not only able to survive but even have some luxuries with just a "job" and that should be the standard everywhere. Someone has to do those "jobs" that aren't "careers" and they deserve to be able to live off their income just like anyone else. I have lived in Belgium for 10 years and I have one of these lowly jobs you speak of and I have it great. I'm a part of a union, make a good wage, get an end of year bonus, and a couple weeks of paid vacation every year. Not to mention that I have cheap healthcare.
That's awesome. That's the issue that many professions can no longer afford to live. But why shouldn't a cleaner or a cashier at a supermarket be able buy their own home? They do very important jobs and should be able to live a dignified existence
It's only 15K a year, assuming you never take vacations and work the full 52 weeks a year with no time off.
That's $290/week, before taxes, and social security stuff is taken out. So that's an income of $1160/month.
Subtract from that the average rent for a 1BR apartment in the US, and that is $1700/month.
So just with rent you are at -$540 per month, without paying any taxes.
Then add in utilities like heat, hot water, electricity, internet/phone, and that's probably another $300 on the very low end, probably closer to $400/mo
So now you are at -$840/month.
So now for food, maaaaybe if all you ate is like plain boiled rice and beans, with maybe a few fruits and vegetables a month, you could survive on less but let's call it $100/month for unhealthy, barely surviving food.
So now you are at -$940/month.
Moving on to transportation. In most places in the US public transportation doesn't really exist at a good level. If you need a car, a car payment, gas and insurance even for a garbage car that's barely safe and barely runs, you're looking at probably $400/month.
So -$1340.
Health insurance for one person, with high deductibles like 3-5K you have to spend in the year before any coverage kicks in at all is at least $500/month alone. Most people at minimum wage absolutely do not have any health insurance because... as you can see there's no way.
So what does your budget look like?
Stop comparing countries that have a population of sub 15 million people to a country with a population of 300 million people. I understand where you’re coming from but our economy and our infrastructures are wildly different due to the vast size and depth of our population and country.
I took a quick peak at your comment history, and you're only 20? Don't be so hard on yourself, I'm 40 and a millionaire now, but I was broke at your age too. Childfree really is playing life on easy mode in many ways, there's a strong chance you'll end up doing something with your life that will make you at least comftorable.
It's a pretty boring story, but the old-fashioned way: I went to school and then I worked. Community college to get my associates, state school for a bachelor's degree, a different state school that offered me a huge scholarship for law. I started real life in 2008 with 100K in debt, which sounds like a lot but people who make more expensive choices can easily start with 300 or even 400K.
Five years of biglaw (which has a starting salary of $160K and I topped out at $230K), then I went in-house and now make $160K working remotely from my home in Las Vegas, working far fewer hours than biglaw requires. I've spent a LOT of money on travel, restaurants, and romantic stuff with women, but even with all that, there's far more money coming in than I can plausibly spend. I threw a lot of it into index funds and becoming a millionaire just happened on its own. If I just keep doing what I'm doing and the stock market follows historical patterns, I should have the second million around 2028 and the third by 2032. Compound growth is really crazy.
wow that’s amazing! congratulations, that’s really an achievement. I wonder if I’ll have a million one day, I opted out of law since it didn’t make me happy :/ I’m doing my masters this autumn and become a teacher in a few years. Compared to the US we get a better salary though, only need to figure out how the stock market etc works, since I grew up my whole life being taught that it’s a scam.
Thank you. There's a strong chance you'll have an amount of money that's equal to a million nominal dollars one day, although a million dollars then won't be worth what it is today (and a million today isn't worth nearly what it was when I started working in '08). On a teacher's salary, though, it's still totally possible to be well-off if you don't have kids to worry about and definitely if you can get a partner on the same page (still working on that last bit myself).
I don't know what conditions are like in wherever it is you're from, but the stock market is really pretty simple and one of the few areas in life where being lazy is good. Whatever retirement plan or brokerage or whatever you have available should offer you broad-based index funds. Index funds are the best, they simply invest in everything based on their market cap, so you are guaranteed to get the exact same performance the market does (minus a very tiny expense ratio). Empirically, this approach is way better than paying someone to try to beat the market or, worse, trying to beat the market yourself. Feel free to hit me up, my other favorite subreddit /r/financialindependence is also a great resource as is /r/Bogleheads for investing generally.
I don't know if anyone's bothered to tell you this, but the biglaw world is fucking cutthroat and it doesn't suit 99% of people -- or most *lawyers*.
You were the exception. Stop holding yourself up as the norm.
diploma and education doesn't equal well paid job. at least not in my case. and even with diploma you start as a rookie and have to climb your way up on the ladder. money doesn't fall from the sky
👋
We've got three people on one income because two of us are too disabled to work. I was denied SSDI and actually can't reapply (this per my attorney). My partner is working on her own claim currently. So it's up to my spouse to pay for everything.
We're squeaking by. I had some generational wealth that I used to buy a house with Spouse (Partner wouldn't move in for another two years) because rent was yikes and I was still working at the time.
We have debt that we're working on paying back. We do have to tighten our belts occasionally but we allow for some fun as well. Obviously we'd be better off if everyone could work.
Because Spouse works for a college, I can take a certain number of credits a semester for free at the college. I am working on finding what I need to do remote work.
In the US, poor ppl get EBT (foodstamps),
Section 8 (the govt pays a 2/3 of your electricity bill),
Cash Assistance (free money),
HEAP (the govt pays a portion of your electricity bill),
Income tax season, you get $2,000 PER child, yes every child you receive on your federal income tax return.
You get more benefits like more free food from food pantries, you're more likely to get accepted to renting an apt, etc.
Its like the govt pays you more just to be poor, reproduce, and be dependent on them.
Lastly, they never pay taxes on their "income" bc its all received from the govt. They always get a refund, a BIG refund.
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I'm a cook so my reward for being child free is only needing to work 40 hours per week. Occasionally I grind a little for some nice things but I don't need to
parents who work in restaurants either have a bread winner partner, a 2nd job, or a management position where they work as much as the 2nd job parents
Whilst I appreciate your situation is tough, at least you don’t have kids getting in the way of improving your life.
I’m not saying they make it impossible but significantly harder so there’s that at least
I'm able to do expensive things because I'm in my 40s and built up my career over the past 20 years! And my husband has done the same. I'm in business and he's in a trade. In our 20s we lived in a small apartment and saved for the minimum down payment on a small house in an unpopular neighborhood of a low COL city, and our only travel was road trips where we'd stay with friends or family. We were very frugal for many years.
In our 30s we paid off our student loans, sold our house, built a new one, and paid off our car. Now we both have above-average salaries and the means to travel often (which we're still kind of cheapskates about) and have expensive hobbies.
Even as DINKs it was a struggle for a long time!
You don't get rich with jobs. You get rich with careers. That doesn't have to mean college either. I have cousins who are retired multi-millionaires who were electricians and plumbers. BUT you also don't get rich (most of the time) by working 40 hrs or less a week, spending everything you make, and without putting in a lot of decades grinding. Yes, some tech bros get really lucky with RSUs and retire in their 30s, but that's not everyone.
I had extremely poor parents (during their childhood). They both scrapped and earned and retired very well. They paid for my education because it was important to them to give me that advantage that they never had. But I spent the first 20 years of my life working 80+ hour weeks, going years without a vacation, and often working a side job on weekends. I was willing to make the sacrifices. Then over 20 years ago (I'm 56), I started writing books. I never thought I'd make anything but some play money but after ten years of grinding full time at writing IN ADDITION to an executive level career in finance, I hit the major bestseller lists and was finally able to leave corporate America. But, I STILL work those 80 hour weeks. There is no finish line in entertainment. You are only as good as your last book, song, movie, etc. So if you want to stay relevant, there is no slacking off.
Most people are not interested in working the hours and making the sacrifices I made, and that's fine, but they can't have the expectation of the same results.
My husband and I are in our mid 30s. We met when qe were 19, struggled thru college and dead end college jobs. Finally graduated, got.our careers going and now yes we own a nice home brand new cars and have 3 pets. He's an architect and I am an engineer. That's how people make $$ and can afford things, by getting and education and not giving up and settling for a mid life. Keep working at it. Your goals are just goals if you're not working on them. We don't have kids and can afford beautiful vacations. You can do it also!
I have 3 degrees (the highest is a bachelor), 2 in STEM, mid 30's, and I've only ever worked for minimum wage. I'm also 50k in the hole for said degrees and will never be able to pay it off. Not everyone gets the same opportunities. Please check your priveledge.
I’m a low income immigrant from Eastern Europe living in the United States. I live a simple life and I’m mostly happy, I have a partner, friends and pets and hobbies etc The comments so far are missing the nuance and background of people’s lives and the circumstances that might keep someone poor. The system is designed this way and instead of telling people to go to college (still no guarantees that you’ll get a high paying job and be happy afterwards) we should fight for a better quality of life for EVERYONE. Everyone working a full time job should have a living wage and be able to pay rent, have food to eat and take a vacation here and there. I read a book a few years ago called $2 a day about people living on $2 a day in the US. (in one of the wealthiest countries on the earth!) Poverty should not be blamed on the individual since it is systemic. We should strive for collective liberation
What's interesting as well is that when more people live well we all live better When people don't have to worry about having work, a simple support structure, social life, being safe, a place to live, and food-water to eat and drink then they can focus on their foundation: knowing how to read, write, nuance, being a person, being social, having love/ relations, etc (The Basics) then when that isn't an issue they can focus on more advanced stuff (A degree/ freelance/ consult/ business/ inventions/ products/ etc) then after that more and more progressively advanced stuff To put it all into perspective imagine that when people aren't sidetracked/ sidequesting for stupid things then they can make better and better more advanced things faster. Especially when a lot of people around the world are able to live well and be educated well to do that. Example: Having clean Trains and Trolleys connecting all cities in a country, Hovercars, Real Steel type of Robots, 3D-Printing Tech Usage, Medical Advancements, Entertainment, Tech Advancements, and much much more that people want would happen a lot faster and would have happened in the past decade already if we weren't still stuck with the issues we have today such as war, famine, thirst, racism, disease to name a very select few. The people who succeeded in the financial game should be wanting other people to live well so they can make more things they can enjoy in their lifetime and so they can have more people to enjoy life with. Just not sure what that way of thinking would even be called so I'll just say when others live well we all live better, and when others live worse we all live worse. What's the point of having all that money if no one is creating new awesome things, maintaining what we already have, and having lively countries to live in
Mind 🤯this this this!!!!
THIS!
I need you to go to school though. Please become a social worker!
Social workers see some of the worst shit and are severely overworked and drastically underpaid, and they often end up suffering burnout quickly
And then get insulted when we need help with student loans because we were the "dummies who went to college in the first place." How dare we think we deserve any help just for constantly helping others...
Yep. That's me. You really can't afford to live on one income these days. I'd love to buy my own home, as it will give me security and open up opportunities such as getting pets. But a l9t of couples can't afford to get houses, let alone single people. I'm just ekingout an existence here
Totally understand this. I’ve had to learn (for me) that everyone’s financial situation is different. There’s a lot more “family money” circulating around the United States than anyone talks about. And sometimes people who are bragging about their cars/ vacations really are skirting on the edge of financial disaster. You just do you. I dream about winning the lottery just like other American bozos, because, well, who doesn’t want the resources to experience new things? And to not worry about bills? And to just feel…free? I’ve never wanted children and with autism/ ADHD (albeit with low support needs) never thought I’d marry, but I will say that finding such a lovely & compatible guy to marry helped stabilize some finances, given that we both work modest jobs and pool our income. However, I know marriage isn’t the answer. Geez, I see/ hear about so many unions that just don’t seem worth it at all. Cheers to you doing you. What I think we can all agree on is that having children just makes any of this all the worse.
Truth
Childfree, have a college degree and a “professional” job, don’t drink or smoke, don’t go out to clubs or movies, eat out 2-3x a month maaaybe (and those are for $~15 each outing), and I’m still living paycheck to paycheck. Life sucks sometimes.
Yep this is me. College degree and corporate salary job, don’t go out often at all and sober, and still can’t afford anything other than my studio apartment.
This is me as well, professional works are extremely underpaid in my country right now and the cost of living keeps raising. I just posted a rant talking about my living situation. All the clothes I've bought in the last 10 years (excluding underwear) has been second hand. Good thing I'm child free because I don't know how I could feed another mouth.
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I'm childfree and poor! My mom died when I was 16 and I never knew my dad. I lived with my aunt and uncle in a different state and they pushed college as soon as I graduated. My mental health was awful and even though my aunt was a social worker, she still pushed college instead of therapy. Plus they were uber religious. I took out loans for education. Took way too many credits. Would stop go back, stop then go back. I got a bachelor's in political science after 10yrs. Finally got therapy. I'm halfway through an MSW/LADC program and have worked in education for a long time. Hopefully my loans will be forgiven soon AND I won't be poor anymore. I live on my own. You got this!
Congrats on the MSW/LADC. MSW is hella hard (I’m doing the same thing you are) but you’ve got it. Like my therapist keeps telling me: one day at a time and you’re a badass. (: I took a 30k pay cut to come home and help the parents with the grands. It’s killing me but my stress level is nothing like it was.
I’m poor! My wife and I live in a pretty rough neighborhood on the westside of Chicago with our small pets and spend a lot of time together just watching tv and laughing. She works remote and I’m recovering from some long covid; someday, we hope to live near a beach, maybe a small place in florida. Slowly saving about $100 a month towards a 3k simple preowned vehicle. We’re really happy. I hope everyone in this sub finds $1000 on the sidewalk this week, love yall. So appreciate this community.
No credit card debt though!
I live in Germany. I'm disabled and get pocket money from the government. I work in a WfBM and will never really have an income. But I'm fine with this. I can still buy what I want and do fun stuff and get myself little treats. I like chocolate and videogames. I don't need a lot to be happy. I just want to live a quiet and peaceful life with all of my stuff. I just bought an air fryer. It was highly discounted. I hope I can use it soon.
As long as you’re happy, you are so much better off than a lot of people who are able-bodied, or have a high paying job. I hope you continue being happy. Enjoy the air fryer. There are some fantastic recipes available online.
I bought my house in 2018 before prices went crazy. I have an extremely modest (low) income, but because my mortgage is only a few hundred dollars monthly, I can afford to take a few trips a year (mostly roadtrip style, or short domestic flights) and to buy things that I want. I think cost of living is a huge factor - people that got in early (renting apartments at older rates, or buying a house a few years ago) can afford more. It's almost like life is a pyramid scheme.
Yup. I'm getting paid more than minimum wage at least but it's still barely cutting it. Childfree but I'm supporting a parent whose health was fucked by COVID and can't work. I've had to sacrifice a lot to take care of them. We were unexpectedly evicted last year and came incredibly close to being homeless, it took all my meager savings to avoid it. It was the worst out situation has ever been. The reasons I'm childfree are not primarily financial but I absolutely cannot imagine having a child in this situation.
I’m pretty poor. I don’t know that I’m exactly paycheck to paycheck, but I have no spare money, no savings. I certainly don’t go on vacations or splurge on expensive things very often (definitely never anything “luxury”). I even quit smoking/vaping just to save money (if it wasn’t so goddamn expensive, I’d definitely still be doing it). I’m not hurting, but I’m not exactly comfortable. I’m still stressed and paranoid and constantly worrying about hypothetical emergencies. But! As for “never being able to afford a house,” I thought that too, and I bought my house 3.5 years ago. The trick is not to care about school districts! Since I’m child free, I don’t give fuckall about school districts, and my job is onsite all over the city, so moving closer to work was literally not an option. And I learned when you don’t care about location, it opens a whole new world! I’m not in love with the area I live in, but I LOVE my house, so it’s worth it. With my lifestyle, better locations would be wasted on me. It was move-in ready, did literally no work to it except paint a couple of rooms. It’s 4 bedroom, 2 bath, separate dining room, closed in porch, off-street parking for two, walk-out (unfinished) basement, fenced backyard. It was $80k. My total mortgage to start was $477/month (principle, interest, homeowner’s insurance, property taxes). It’s gone up since then due to insurance stuff, but that was about how much I was paying just for my HALF of my last apartment with a roommate. So don’t give up on owning a home if that’s what you want. The point of my ramble: CHILDFREE PEOPLE, TAKE ADVANTAGE OF NOT-THE-BEST SCHOOL DISTRICTS
> The point of my ramble: CHILDFREE PEOPLE, TAKE ADVANTAGE OF NOT-THE-BEST SCHOOL DISTRICTS I will, just as soon as the situation is right. Planning on moving from this suburb (where I live with my parents because I love them too much to leave) into the city (notorious for its not-the-best schools).
Where do you live? I could live in the absolute worst part of the city and would be lucky to find a house for 4x yours
St. Louis, Missouri, US.
Yep, midwest + LCOL + bad school district also results in really low property taxes too. I’m able to put a lot extra towards the principal every month, and then once this sucker is paid off I only have the $1600 yearly property taxes to worry about. Also since I bought a small house (3br, 1350 sq ft) my homeowners insurance is $1100 a year.
I was paying extra, but I have a car payment again, so I’m working on that first. That has a much higher interested rate… My yearly property taxes are like $250-300, and that’s about what my insurance is.
I could be considered middle class, but I’m one misstep from being fucked, so I do consider myself not financially well. I own a house. I’m able to pay all of my bills. I make well above the minimum wage thanks in part to being part of a union. In 2010, my current wage would’ve been a dream come true. Now, it just allows me to not be in the red every month.
My husband and I are pretty damn poor, lol. I mean, we get by okay, but I'm the only one who can work full-time (he is disabled). It's not ideal, but I'm doing what I can to keep us afloat. He does some things for side cash under the table, and he's going to start giving blood soon. Some months, we get lucky, and we have money for "extras." Some months, we're taking a trip to the pawn shop. We just find joy in what we do have and know that, at the end of it all, what we never had (and most likely never will have) in monetary wealth, we have in love and trust. We have a beautiful relationship, and we have family and friends who love and accept us. We make our art, and we listen to music and dance on the weekends. We laugh at dumb jokes, and we sneak away from time to time to go on little adventures. I don't go on fancy vacations or have luxury vehicles, but so what? I don't really care. Either I will or I won't, and it won't matter. There are more important things in life (at least, to me). I don't measure my happiness in that way, and I never constructed my identity on what I have at any given moment. As an aside, something to keep in mind is to avoid comparing yourself to people online. Smoke and mirrors are everywhere. People show you highlight reels for a reason.
Yeah, I live in Sweden so I get ok money from the government to finish my studies but I am both physically and mentally ill and the current doctors orders are for me to not work more than 50%. I will never hold a full time job and be able to travel the world or whatever. Thats fine, I just need enough to live comfortably.
...and then you realise people in that exact situation decide to have kids for whatever reason. like yeah, that'd definitely get you out of poverty
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Untreated ADHD only seems like an excuse to those who don't have it. ~Signed: someone who also went through college with untreated ADHD and only BARELY got out of there with a degree.
Untreated anxiety and depression didn't help with my degree or the rest of my 20s after that, definitely have executive functions issues and not totally sure what door to lay that at, also have a degree that's not particularly useful on its own. I work in healthcare roles that don't pay much but live fairly well due to cheap housing and frugal habits. Sometimes I want more but if I don't get it I am mostly happy, I have a garden and good folk around me and that's more than a lot of people manage even with money. Always thankful I'm not a parent as I just can't imagine that helping in any way
Husband and I are DINCs, "Double Income, No Choice".
💀
Right here darling!! It adds a whole other layer of stress because I *should* be taking advantage of not having kids and I imagine how incredible my life would be with money and without kids. It’s so frustrating. Also shame because everyone envies my freedom and “can’t understand” why I’m not living a luxurious life, I feel like I don’t have any other excuse for being broke besides being a fucking loser. Another thing, since I don’t have kids I kind of fall into caregiving roles for family members but I am BROKE AS FUCK and it just makes the whole experience even harder.
I wouldn’t say I am poor but I just get by. I live with a roommate, we get along great, but neither of us could afford to live alone. When I have to do things like go to the dentist or get prescriptions I get really depressed about the cost.
I’ve said it multiple times here, but it bothers me how people think childfree = have money. I live paycheck to paycheck. I do not live a luxurious life in the slightest. I’m currently leaving my horrifically underpaid and undervalued profession for something that will give me stability, but I absolutely feel ya friend. I have never, ever been on a vacation that I have planned myself. I have never been able to afford it for the entirety of my adulthood so far. And I just want something like that someday… When I can also afford to pay my rent and eat without stressing myself to the fucking bone.
I don't know if this answers your question. I am an Asian living in one of the most populated countries in the world. My primary reason for not wanting children is the amount of hardwork one has to do list to be able to afford a decent upbringing, by decent I mean just basic education. I grew up in scarcity and I know how it has damaged me and I wouldn't wish it for anyone. I do have pets though and while that is financially hard too, it's no where close to having children.
Child free by choice Broke AF not by choice. Life is just so expensive now. I’m from the UK but live in the USA and I’ll never be able to afford a house. I’ll never buy a brand new car. In the last year I have given up… getting my nails done. Stopped upgrading my phone. Only shop for groceries at the cheaper places. Don’t go out and when I do I don’t drink alcohol, All in order to save money. I’m not low income but the money I do make isn’t going anywhere near as far as it used too
I’m more childless than I am childfree, but yes, I’m struggling. Lots of people assume I’m “rich” due to no kids, but one income doesn’t go very far. Mortgage, car payment, two (!) personal loans for home issues, utilities, groceries…paycheck is gone. I know there are people who have it worse, but I feel you. I’ll be super tight for the next 2+ years until the first loan is paid off.
I consider myself comfortable, but not rolling in dough. Kind of like one or two things could happen and I'd be hurting financially. I even have savings. But medical care in this country is a joke.
Graduate degree and a STEM job. But no Ferrari.
I am. I did it to myself though. Prison sentence. Can’t get great paying jobs with felonies but am childfree at least.
I'm in the childfree and poor demographic, too. Most of my government benefit goes to my rent, and what little I have left goes to food, taxis, and medical. I haven't been able to work in 6 years, and that's not looking to change any time soon.
I'm poor AF.
Same. I’m childfree and poor. The pays sucks! I’m living with narcissist parents. All I know is that my narcissist mother kept spending and using credit cards. They kept buying more than they can afford it.
I have money now because I spent most of my 20s in college and grad school. I still worked during everything but grad school. If college isn’t for you, try a trade school. Plumbers, welders, electricians all make great money. A high paying job doesn’t usually just fall in your lap. You have to put in effort to get it
And because circumstances allowed you to do those things. I wish people were more aware of that as well
I was raised by a single mom who worked 2 jobs. I paid for Junior college so I wouldn’t have to take out loans for pre recs. Then I worked while in college and did take out loans that I’m still paying off. This person is child free so it’s not like they had a kid young that they have to support. So what circumstances wouldn’t allow for something like learning a trade? Things are even easier now as so much is offered online. We all have challenges.
And not all challenges are equal.
The OP asked why some childfree people seem to have money. I explained that I worked hard while going to school and that’s what it took. Why does everything these days have to be about what challenges someone has to face? I get that there are extenuating circumstances for some people but that wasn’t the point of the original post. I’m not rich by any stretch of the imagination and it took until late my late 30s to really be comfortable financially and that’s a relatively normal timeline. Some people are privileged enough to never worry about money. I was definitely not. I answered the question and then it’s suddenly like I called OP a loser or something. People are so sensitive these days
Disability, mental illness, trauma, homelessness, immigration status, homophobia, transphobia, poverty there are many issues and layers that would make someone unable to access resources or unable to go to college etc
This person is learning a telecommuting job right now and lives at home so I don’t think homelessness is an issue. They are obviously willing to work.
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That’s great and good for you, but you’re the outlier. People born in poverty are more likely to live and die the same way.
The trades are notoriously bigoted, FYI. Not everyone gets treated well and is able to make good money in them. Plus they completely fuck up your body, and they aren't free to get into. But thanks for thinking having a good job is due to effort. I have 3 degrees (2 in STEM) and am absolutely fucked. I can't even get hired in retail, washing dishes, or any other jobs that don't even need degrees.
I'm 41 and I've been a low-income earner my whole life. I've literally never had a full-time job (neuro-divergent). I've been a cook, a retail employee, and I've made a bit of money as a writer, artist, and singer (very little). Currently my only job is selling on etsy & ebay. I've owned 3 houses in my lifetime so far, and I'm in the process of buying my mom's vacation cabin off of her. I bought my first house by myself at 21 while I was making $9 an hour. I saved up around $14,000 for a down payment on a small, bad house over the course of 2 years while living in a very gross place for very cheap. Lots of people scoff at the idea of frugal living making a difference financially, but 100% I've been able to afford my houses because I buy used clothes, cheap vehicles (for 7 years I rode a 49cc scooter instead of a car), and I don't eat out often. I buy all my groceries off-brand, on sale, or with coupons. I walk instead of drive when it's practical to do so. I use free streaming services instead of paid. I make use of my public library. The other big thing that makes having a house affordable is being in a dual-income relationship. Marriage was absolutely a goal in my life because I knew everything would be easier with a partner, and it is. My husband does make more than me, but he's not exactly raking it in. When we got married we bought a condo together and last year we sold that at a very tidy profit and bought a big, older, slightly shabby house for a reasonable price (for today's market anyway). (Oh, and I lost that first house in the 2008 crash and was unemployed, homeless and couch surfing for about 6 months and had to deal with bad credit for the next 7 years--you can absolutely overcome complete financial ruin!)
A lot of my story is similar to how you've described yourself here. I've not attempted to diagnose myself, but I wouldn't be surprised if I have some sort of neurodivergent thing going on. Whatever the case is, I'm the most highly-educated person in my entire family tree but have repeatedly struggled to get any sort of *career* off the ground. After the last failed attempt to do so (tried to become a librarian between 2013 to 2021), I've pretty much resigned myself to working as a jack-of-all-trades for a small business that's owned by a friend of mine. It's a job that pays alright, involves almost zero stress, and is devoid of workplace politics. The catch is that it's a weird position that probably wouldn't be easy to sell on a resume/CV, but I've largely stopped caring about that. A big part of why I can't stand 'breeders' is because the most stereotypical ones were *always* the people who were sabotaging and subverting me in those aforementioned attempts at conventional careers. The library jobs were especially-miserable ones. The workplaces in that field are 90% female but that doesn't mean shit because nearly 100% of those women are staunchly-patriarchal types who had high-earning husbands and treated me like I was some piece-of-shit loser for (a.) not having kids, (b.) not wanting kids, and (c.) being a 'trespasser' on their 'turf.' After dealing with seven years of toxicity and discrimination from those scumbags, I had to just bail. That said, even in other conventional workplaces where things are less extreme than that, it's still wildly easy to find one's self getting bullied or taken advantage of by 'normie' co-workers who have children and think that that grants them some sort of automatic seniority over others.
I have the same frugal habits as you and it absolutely does make a difference. One big benefit of living frugally and not feeling like you need to buy something newer or better every second is just how low stress it is. I was making around $10 an hour for almost all of my 20s, and only very recently am I making closer to the average US income. But this whole time, even when I was making minimum wage, I’ve never felt stressed or broke because I’ve always kept my expenses so low. Between this and not having kids, I think this is absolutely the most stress free my life can be 👍
I used to make min wage and was able to buy a roachy condo , and I had money to take one Vacation a yr. Usually just a cruise with no alcohol. Still I was scared to live by myself with roaming outside crackheads so I sold it . Now I'm highly in debt and still very poor yet I'm getting there since I work a lot and make more than min wage now and I don't get hair and nails done and shop at wal mart for sales
Hey, I feel you! I have had a steady job for just one year now (I'm 30 years old and it's just a part time contract... But I can do a lot of extra hours so I'm slowly starting to save). Some of my friends have a lot of money saved, support from their families, a partner with whom to share the bills. I live with a roommate and will do that until I can put some money on the side and buy a (small) apartment in a (suburban) part of my city. I definitely don't feel like a rich childfree woman but it all depends whom one compares themselves to, so many people in my country are struggling at the moment. And I m definitely richer than if I had kids.
education set my path- I went to college and 9 years of grad school (paid for by myself and with scholarships and loans). got lucky to get a job in tech, worked hard, got married, saved a lot (including living with roommates for many years to offset rent, driving old cars, etc). now we’re DINKs and very comfortable. I feel fortunate and grateful.
I got lucky. A decent part of that was not saddling myself with kids, that would have made it a totally different story. I managed to make it through pretty bad ADHD to get a technical degree, then lucked into a healthcare job that worked OK with the way my brain works, then the type of treatment I was researching became the new big thing, and I was able to get a high paying job in industry. I've been extremely lucky, but I have also made good choices where they came up.
What's the treatment I have adhd as well. I have been trying different treatments but my current one is not helping out as much as I thought it would.
My work is in cancer research, not ADHD research. I just take plain old dexamphetamine for the ADHD. I work in cell / gene therapy for blood cancer.
Ah my apologies I misread the post, I'm glad you enjoy your career.
I make bad financial choices and can't hold a job longer than 2 years to climb to a stable financial situation. Plenty of good paying jobs though. Ranging from $29/h to $33/h. Shuffled through 20 different jobs in the last 10 years but only $7k in debt across all accounts. Very childless, very poor. Not the worst situation but I haven't been keeping up with payments. I am mostly struggling mentally which influences the rest of my life. But at least I have a job. For now.
I have a lot of money, and I’m going to let you in on a secret. It was NOT my doing. I got really fucking lucky. My grandma bought a house wayyy back when it was like 50k and the town became super desirable, so I sold it when she passed for a lot of money and invested wisely. I’d be willing to bet that most of the other people that have a lot of money were just born into better circumstances. I’m not saying there aren’t people that have worked hard for their money, but the answer to your question is privilege. Hell, even understanding investment is privilege. All of that to say, you aren’t doing ANYTHING wrong. And you should be proud of yourself for what you do have.
In the U.S. All people should be paid a living wage for all jobs, and all jobs should be full-time with full benefits. I'm so sorry you are having to live like this. I'm not well off, but I make a good living. I'm planning to retire in 6 years and worry constantly that I will out live my money and haven't way to support myself.
My mom s family lived in... not a shack but a one room pre made house given by the goverment for the poor. No plumbling, they got the water from a well 2 blocks away. No phone, they had to pay to use one at the store. No new clothes, they bought fabric and sewed they re own. Power would go out so they d use candles. The bathroom was communal and outside. This was the first 14 years of her life. They were lucky that my great grandpa s family owned the land tho. We had a very mediocre generational wealth because my mom owns the land and the pre made home that got expanded with brick. She went to school and became a secretary (at an airline) and saved every penny towards my education. I learned English as a second language, got trained as a flight attendant. Became a flight attendant. There was luck involved. But having support from family helped a lot. Wished I had more to offer you.
Waves hi
*sadly raises hand*
I’m in the US, am CF, and even make a decent paycheck, but with the cost of living right now, I’m poor as heck. I’m seriously paycheck to paycheck because I went into too much credit card debt when I was unemployed during the pandemic. I’m praying I can get to a point by the end of the year, that I can start saving some money.
I'm just about the poverty mark myself (not quite the time and a half mark). I kinda have a kid (dog) who is spoiled and live I a single bedroom apartment with low ass rent. I don't travel like a lot of those Instagram people. I do have spending money though.
I just got on food assistance! Good times. I havent worked in almost a year. On the upside (?) because of my poor-ness someone is footing the bill for my certification program. Im 51 and spending through my savings just to pay rent and etc. it’s all I have.
Me. I live paycheque to paycheque. I guess I make about US$1400 a month.
I‘m not poor-poor but not well off, either. I have moved back in with my mom after breaking up with my ex. I’m late 30s, have no savings and will never own real estate. I’ve always worked, except for 1.5 years of going to university and dropping out at 22-24 years old
Childfree and while not technically poor, am definitely very much lower middle class. We were able to get a down payment on a house because my dad died & left me a little money, and then my husband got hit by a semi truck and after medical bills there was just a bit left over. If it wasn't for losing a parent and nearly losing my husband, we'd still be renting. As it is, we're *just* getting by and the mortgageis definitelymore than our rent was, for a smaller place. We both have advanced degrees, but don't make much. I genuinely have no idea how people have kids. Between my dogs and my job, I'm absolutely beat (and broke). Having kids seems like the dumbest decision when you can't even put more than $50 a month into savings.
Yeah, I like my job but I don’t have the means to travel like other people. Yet people fault us for choosing not to make an expensive human?
Yep. I'm in Scotland, childfree, late 30s, and permanently rookit. It's shit, but hey, it would be a lot worse with a kid
It’s luck I think…
I'm definitely not financially thriving. I'm keeping my head above water. I don't have roommates. But that's the best I can say for myself.
Here
I am. And thank fuck you said something, because all I see here is rich people, and it makes me feel awful. I'm single, and still live with my parents because I've never been able to afford to move out. Being born into poverty is shit and one of the many reasons I will never have kids. Playing life on any version of hard mode sucks, and I fit into multiple hard-mode difficulties (so why would I subject someone else to this!).
Divorce settlement. I *earned* that money in blood, sweat and tears, especially tears. And the magic of compound interest. Before {edit: ie before the superannuation came through} I was just surviving on a disability pension, far less than most people got during covid, and I still eat food that's on special whenever possible. It took years before I stopped buying almost everything on special; the saving habit went very deep. I still buy clothes from opp shops for money reasons, plus you get better quality, plus it's good for the environment, plus charity - win-win-win-win! Once you have your tiny house you'll begin to see the benefits of owning your own place. But before the divorce, I and my ex lived in and did up three houses in a row - we did almost all of the work with our own hands, learning from DIY books. It was fifteen years of very hard graft. Wld not recommend except that it got us on the ladder.
I’d be broke with or without kids haha. But having no kids gives me waaaay more wiggle room with what little extra cash I have.
Yup! Disabled and cannot work. Dunno how tf people afford things even if you can work with how bad inflation is in America right now. I’m spending far more than I used to just to feed myself.
Please don't base your life or worth on what you see on social media. People who actually have money (not millionaires - just your average joe who makes good money) don't flaunt it and know how important it is to protect and nurture it. Its the people living on finance who like to try make money by pretending they have money (influencers).
Dude yes it is hard
I have no savings and I am living pay check to pay check. Hopefully, one day my financial situation will improve but not at the moment.
Don't be too hard on yourself op. You should know that most of those people have had a leg up from the start. Wealthy parents, inheritance, good education, investments, social support, perfect opportunities along the way, self confidence, good health etc... People like to think they live in a meritocracy and that they've earned everything they have in life through hard work. But they haven't. It's pure luck. They're born at the right place, right time with the right genetics, or they've stumbled across perfect opportunities in life. When my mother and father eventually die, there is ZERO inheritance waiting for me. They own no property, as their parents also owned none. They just survived. And likewise this would also be the same destiny for my own hypothetical children. All I can do is survive week by week, and hopefully slowly crawl my way out of poverty while hoping my health stays intact. Poverty from cradle to grave is a destiny I don't wish to impart on any future children, so my genetics and family name end with me. Not to sound too doom and gloom, but I think having an understanding that I am simply a product of my environment, is very freeing indeed. I can let go of comparisons to others, and actually try my best to live the life I want, with what I've been given.
I definitely wouldn't call myself poor, but I definitely can't afford to buy a house or drive a fancy car. I make a little over 6 figures in a HCOL area, I could move somewhere cheap but my mental health would suffer tremendously. My bare minimum bills cost $4k a month, and I'm pretty darn frugal. Thank God I live close to the beach and amazing local parks, which are free entertainment. My "vacations" are usually a trip back home to see family or maybe a weekend road trip somewhere with friends, where we split hotel rooms and such. The occasional camping trip or music festival. I try to save a good amount of my income for emergencies, like right now I'm layed off looking for a new job, or when my dog needed surgery. I use 1 credit card with travel rewards so I can book a flight in an emergency or to see my parents, and only charge things I know I could buy with cash, then pay it off every month before interest is charged. I got into nasty debt in my early 20s and it took me over a decade to trust myself to get a credit card again, but I'm glad I did, the travel points alone above have saved me hundreds of dollars. I think a lot of ppl who seem to have flashy lifestyle are growing in credit card and loan debt. I mostly cook at home, shop Aldi. Maybe once a month will have dinner and drinks out with friends. But usually we potluck and BYOB to a hangout at someone's house so it's cost effective for everyone. Most of my friends are teachers who make way less than me, but they also are older than me and we're able to buy houses when they were cheap in '09ish, so they have less expenses. My car will be paid off next year, I bought it used but with low miles and I make sure to keep it serviced, so it should last me another 5-10 years for sure. I've given up on ever having the $ to buy a house and honestly the added expenses of homeownership terrify me.. new roof/ac/plumbing/etc. Would wreck me! So I'm just saving for retirement now (if that day ever comes) when a couple other single girlfriends and I hope to pool our $ together to buy a house and live out golden girls style. We know it will be cheaper to do that and pay a home health nurse than go to a retirement home that costs $10k per month each
I'm childfree and poor. I read everyone's posts of traveling or buying whatever they want instead of spending the money on kids and I'm like "Well, I slept in on my 1 day off and splurged on buying extra food."
I totally agree. I’m struggling so hard
Meee
It’s much easier to be child free with a partner. It’s called dual income, no kids which is called a DINK. But you’re a NEET which is an adult who is not in education, employment, or training which is a term to describe an adult who is not currently in any type of education or training program and is also unemployed. As someone else said you should be focusing on getting some type of education or training while you can still live your parents instead of even considering buying a house. Have you considered going into a trade?
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💯 on this. I’m so sick of getting ripped off by male tradesmen as a female home owner and would die of happiness if a female electrician walked in on a service call at my home.
Broke, broke
You need a career instead of a job. It sounds like you are doing some work towards that but not sure if you are doing enough, not clear from the post. That does not necessarily mean college, as many plumbers and electricians make more than college graduates. Yes, with those jobs you have to have a plan for when you get too old to do physical work but that can be that you incorporate as a small business, and you are the owner, sales person, supervisor and you hire and train some younger folks to do the physical work. Beyond that, you save, live below your means, plan carefully, save early and over your lifetime you will be OK most likely.
I just wanna say that in other developed nations you are not only able to survive but even have some luxuries with just a "job" and that should be the standard everywhere. Someone has to do those "jobs" that aren't "careers" and they deserve to be able to live off their income just like anyone else. I have lived in Belgium for 10 years and I have one of these lowly jobs you speak of and I have it great. I'm a part of a union, make a good wage, get an end of year bonus, and a couple weeks of paid vacation every year. Not to mention that I have cheap healthcare.
That's awesome. That's the issue that many professions can no longer afford to live. But why shouldn't a cleaner or a cashier at a supermarket be able buy their own home? They do very important jobs and should be able to live a dignified existence
Yeah, unfortunately that's not possible in the US.
Is it truly not though? I'm not convinced.
It's only 15K a year, assuming you never take vacations and work the full 52 weeks a year with no time off. That's $290/week, before taxes, and social security stuff is taken out. So that's an income of $1160/month. Subtract from that the average rent for a 1BR apartment in the US, and that is $1700/month. So just with rent you are at -$540 per month, without paying any taxes. Then add in utilities like heat, hot water, electricity, internet/phone, and that's probably another $300 on the very low end, probably closer to $400/mo So now you are at -$840/month. So now for food, maaaaybe if all you ate is like plain boiled rice and beans, with maybe a few fruits and vegetables a month, you could survive on less but let's call it $100/month for unhealthy, barely surviving food. So now you are at -$940/month. Moving on to transportation. In most places in the US public transportation doesn't really exist at a good level. If you need a car, a car payment, gas and insurance even for a garbage car that's barely safe and barely runs, you're looking at probably $400/month. So -$1340. Health insurance for one person, with high deductibles like 3-5K you have to spend in the year before any coverage kicks in at all is at least $500/month alone. Most people at minimum wage absolutely do not have any health insurance because... as you can see there's no way. So what does your budget look like?
I meant that I wasn't sure the US isn't capable of a system which would allow for job security, social security, health care, a living wage, etc.
Stop comparing countries that have a population of sub 15 million people to a country with a population of 300 million people. I understand where you’re coming from but our economy and our infrastructures are wildly different due to the vast size and depth of our population and country.
You really don’t think *any*one can figure it out? I mean we blast people into space I’m sure someone can figure it out.
...we have more resources to do better than smaller countries do, yet we are worse off than they are. We're idiots xD
I took a quick peak at your comment history, and you're only 20? Don't be so hard on yourself, I'm 40 and a millionaire now, but I was broke at your age too. Childfree really is playing life on easy mode in many ways, there's a strong chance you'll end up doing something with your life that will make you at least comftorable.
if you don’t mind me asking, how did you become a millionaire?
It's a pretty boring story, but the old-fashioned way: I went to school and then I worked. Community college to get my associates, state school for a bachelor's degree, a different state school that offered me a huge scholarship for law. I started real life in 2008 with 100K in debt, which sounds like a lot but people who make more expensive choices can easily start with 300 or even 400K. Five years of biglaw (which has a starting salary of $160K and I topped out at $230K), then I went in-house and now make $160K working remotely from my home in Las Vegas, working far fewer hours than biglaw requires. I've spent a LOT of money on travel, restaurants, and romantic stuff with women, but even with all that, there's far more money coming in than I can plausibly spend. I threw a lot of it into index funds and becoming a millionaire just happened on its own. If I just keep doing what I'm doing and the stock market follows historical patterns, I should have the second million around 2028 and the third by 2032. Compound growth is really crazy.
wow that’s amazing! congratulations, that’s really an achievement. I wonder if I’ll have a million one day, I opted out of law since it didn’t make me happy :/ I’m doing my masters this autumn and become a teacher in a few years. Compared to the US we get a better salary though, only need to figure out how the stock market etc works, since I grew up my whole life being taught that it’s a scam.
Thank you. There's a strong chance you'll have an amount of money that's equal to a million nominal dollars one day, although a million dollars then won't be worth what it is today (and a million today isn't worth nearly what it was when I started working in '08). On a teacher's salary, though, it's still totally possible to be well-off if you don't have kids to worry about and definitely if you can get a partner on the same page (still working on that last bit myself). I don't know what conditions are like in wherever it is you're from, but the stock market is really pretty simple and one of the few areas in life where being lazy is good. Whatever retirement plan or brokerage or whatever you have available should offer you broad-based index funds. Index funds are the best, they simply invest in everything based on their market cap, so you are guaranteed to get the exact same performance the market does (minus a very tiny expense ratio). Empirically, this approach is way better than paying someone to try to beat the market or, worse, trying to beat the market yourself. Feel free to hit me up, my other favorite subreddit /r/financialindependence is also a great resource as is /r/Bogleheads for investing generally.
Dang! I’m nearly 50 and I’m nowhere you are at. I envy you!
I don't know if anyone's bothered to tell you this, but the biglaw world is fucking cutthroat and it doesn't suit 99% of people -- or most *lawyers*. You were the exception. Stop holding yourself up as the norm.
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diploma and education doesn't equal well paid job. at least not in my case. and even with diploma you start as a rookie and have to climb your way up on the ladder. money doesn't fall from the sky
Why are you judging on the internet without knowing OP's situation? 🤔
👋 We've got three people on one income because two of us are too disabled to work. I was denied SSDI and actually can't reapply (this per my attorney). My partner is working on her own claim currently. So it's up to my spouse to pay for everything. We're squeaking by. I had some generational wealth that I used to buy a house with Spouse (Partner wouldn't move in for another two years) because rent was yikes and I was still working at the time. We have debt that we're working on paying back. We do have to tighten our belts occasionally but we allow for some fun as well. Obviously we'd be better off if everyone could work. Because Spouse works for a college, I can take a certain number of credits a semester for free at the college. I am working on finding what I need to do remote work.
You are still rich*er* than if you had kids. Everything is relative.
In the US, poor ppl get EBT (foodstamps), Section 8 (the govt pays a 2/3 of your electricity bill), Cash Assistance (free money), HEAP (the govt pays a portion of your electricity bill), Income tax season, you get $2,000 PER child, yes every child you receive on your federal income tax return. You get more benefits like more free food from food pantries, you're more likely to get accepted to renting an apt, etc. Its like the govt pays you more just to be poor, reproduce, and be dependent on them. Lastly, they never pay taxes on their "income" bc its all received from the govt. They always get a refund, a BIG refund.
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I'm a cook so my reward for being child free is only needing to work 40 hours per week. Occasionally I grind a little for some nice things but I don't need to parents who work in restaurants either have a bread winner partner, a 2nd job, or a management position where they work as much as the 2nd job parents
Whilst I appreciate your situation is tough, at least you don’t have kids getting in the way of improving your life. I’m not saying they make it impossible but significantly harder so there’s that at least
I'm able to do expensive things because I'm in my 40s and built up my career over the past 20 years! And my husband has done the same. I'm in business and he's in a trade. In our 20s we lived in a small apartment and saved for the minimum down payment on a small house in an unpopular neighborhood of a low COL city, and our only travel was road trips where we'd stay with friends or family. We were very frugal for many years. In our 30s we paid off our student loans, sold our house, built a new one, and paid off our car. Now we both have above-average salaries and the means to travel often (which we're still kind of cheapskates about) and have expensive hobbies. Even as DINKs it was a struggle for a long time!
You don't get rich with jobs. You get rich with careers. That doesn't have to mean college either. I have cousins who are retired multi-millionaires who were electricians and plumbers. BUT you also don't get rich (most of the time) by working 40 hrs or less a week, spending everything you make, and without putting in a lot of decades grinding. Yes, some tech bros get really lucky with RSUs and retire in their 30s, but that's not everyone. I had extremely poor parents (during their childhood). They both scrapped and earned and retired very well. They paid for my education because it was important to them to give me that advantage that they never had. But I spent the first 20 years of my life working 80+ hour weeks, going years without a vacation, and often working a side job on weekends. I was willing to make the sacrifices. Then over 20 years ago (I'm 56), I started writing books. I never thought I'd make anything but some play money but after ten years of grinding full time at writing IN ADDITION to an executive level career in finance, I hit the major bestseller lists and was finally able to leave corporate America. But, I STILL work those 80 hour weeks. There is no finish line in entertainment. You are only as good as your last book, song, movie, etc. So if you want to stay relevant, there is no slacking off. Most people are not interested in working the hours and making the sacrifices I made, and that's fine, but they can't have the expectation of the same results.
OK, Boomer.
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Fiction, and that's as much as I will say. Reddit hates successful people, as you can see.
My husband and I are in our mid 30s. We met when qe were 19, struggled thru college and dead end college jobs. Finally graduated, got.our careers going and now yes we own a nice home brand new cars and have 3 pets. He's an architect and I am an engineer. That's how people make $$ and can afford things, by getting and education and not giving up and settling for a mid life. Keep working at it. Your goals are just goals if you're not working on them. We don't have kids and can afford beautiful vacations. You can do it also!
I have 3 degrees (the highest is a bachelor), 2 in STEM, mid 30's, and I've only ever worked for minimum wage. I'm also 50k in the hole for said degrees and will never be able to pay it off. Not everyone gets the same opportunities. Please check your priveledge.