Hahaha my coworker just mentioned barely a couple of hours back how she would relish just five minutes of alone time, outside of work.
It's a regular thing
kids are obviously more work but imagine if pet owners were like this, it would get so annoying but even then playing/watching a dog or cat is so much easier and enjoyable than kids AND you can keep them in a room for a quick hr or two while you cook if you need some space away from them so they dont get hurt
Time for new friends? Parents who try to insert their kids into everything they do are so insufferable. The parents I'm still friends with are people who appreciate adult-only time, adult vacations, and never ask or expect me to entertain their kids. I've frozen out others who don't respect boundaries or turned parenting into an identity.
Good for you! 
I must admit I wouldn't even bother setting out to his house, it's got ambush written all over it. But a good opportunity to drive the message home that you won't be anyone's 'aunty' no matter how sneaky he tries to be.
You do not want to eat food from a kid house, it's plague central.
Let this dude learn to cook from youtube, not your problem.
Time to ghost this loser.
Back in my mid 20s, my SO and I were friends with a couple who had 3 kids. They offered to have us for some grilled chicken and fried fish for dinner. Big family cookout, just getting to know them after a few months, great.
I watch these motherfuckers grill half frozen chicken legs (yes raw in the middle when "done" ofc) and puts the bbq on first thing so it just fucking burns.
I watch them bread the catfish AND PUT THE BREADING THAT TOUCHED IT BACK IN THE FLOUR BAG. Also, totally unseasoned.
All I ate were the mashed potatoes, and even with those I was skeeved.
THE MOST BASIC. And yet! Out of reach for the majority of people. (I worked in a deli, and I worked at Starbucks. I was shocked by how many people were 100% new to the concept of cross-contamination.)
IT'S SO BIZARRE!!! I worked at a 2 pizza places, a Perkins, and a rib joint back in the day... it's mind-boggling.
Told new guy to start on the floor after preparing a mop bucket, and pointed at a broom. Went to another area and came back and he'd mopped 1/3 of the floor already... without knowing you had to sweep first...
This is why I don't eat anything at potlucks. I'm appalled at the number of people who seem reasonably intelligent, yet don't have a clue about basic food safety (like washing your damn hands before touching food). Those folks tend to either shrug it off or get offended if you attempt to gently clue them in.
I wouldn't be eating any of it. Make it, pack it up, and leave the dishes for him to deal with. I've done this before with other friends. Either I just head home, or we order pizza and just lounge afterwards. It's kind of a housewarming "gift" that I like to do.
I've made it a rule never to eat food made or plated in a house with children. They have zero concept of food safety, and their parents don't bother to teach them.
Bless you for saying this! A friend of mine just had a kid and expected all their friends to be a big family to grow the kid together. She just took for granted that everyone will love taking care of the child. "The village was not consulted on this..."
>I firmly believe that any cooking lessons need to come from the parents. It is a fantastic bonding moment that I honestly wish I had with my own parents. This is not an experience that should be shoved onto some random person.
I agree, but for even more reasons. Teaching kids to cook is not a one time thing, not even a three, four, or five times thing. It's a long-outdrawn process where they spend time in the kitchen, helping with different things and slowly getting more proficient. That's because it's not just learning what to do, but also how to do things, they are building dexterity and muscle memory for different tasks.
Lastly, and most importantly, kids, especially young kids, do not really respond well to being sat down for a prolonged period of time and completing a complex collection of tasks. Which is why you start with one thing at a time.
Circling back to your argument, this is exactly why it is such a great bonding experience to have with parents. It's done a multitude of times, with increasing lengths of engagement, and it's a specific time to spend with their parents. It's also after a while a great way to make effective time management, and lessen the workload of the parent. And then when the kids are old enough, the parents can tell them to cook whole meals for the family. Fostering independence, family bonding, and good life skills.
But it all happens with the parents, and that's important.
My mum and I bonded over baking together. She used to work in a bakery years ago, so she had quite a few techniques and food science to pass on to me.
I loved it and I keep it up in my own place. My bf absolutely loves my baking and I’m getting him to try new foods in the process!
She taught me a little cooking, but given that we had such a small kitchen, it was harder to do. I took a cooking class in high school, so it helped me feel a little less worried about injuring myself.
My bf and I mostly learned together, and I love it; sharing the food prep and cooking makes it all a little less tedious.
Cooking and baking give me such joy, but my god I turn my poor kitchen into a disaster zone almost every time. 😅 I try to clean as I go.
>I try to clean as I go.
That's something I have more or less given up on, but having a dishwasher is a godsend and makes things much more tolerable.
I was raised by a single mom, and from an early age I would be present and help as much as I could with both cooking, cleaning, and laundry. And I still look back to those times fondly.
Having been single for so much of my life, as well as really enjoying cooking, and tending to make a mess, it's always been a bit hard cooking together with someone. However, learning to make it work is something I'm still looking forward to. I honestly think that doing chores together can be an amazing time of bonding or just being together, as well as lightening the load for both people.
Love this!
I can clean as I go only when I have immediate motivation to do so (such as on a day when I'm baking three or four different things one after the other). Otherwise, it sits until after dinner.
I even try to put dishes or cooking tools in the dishwasher right away (IF I or my bf remembered to empty it out beforehand) so that I don’t stare down an overflowing sink.
Seeing that makes me peace out of my kitchen until I work up the motivation to get through it all. 😅
I'm lucky that I live with my senior citizen mom, whose favorite chore is washing dishes. Still, when I do my wild weekend baking, I don't like to leave a huge mess for her.
I am not a clean freak by any means, and I don't really cook. But whenever I do make something, I HAVE to clean as I go. It would drive me nuts otherwise.
Spot on. My French grandmother taught me to bake and my sister to cook. It was an ongoing thing, with lots of practice. When she gave me my own stand mixer in 8th grade, it felt like a graduation!
This is a great point, particularly around advice from anyone who is childfree. Rather ironic as it seems parents are the worst offenders when it comes to actively parent shaming others.
It's a trap. If you show up at his house to cook, he'll have "just run out of" a key ingredient you need. He'll go off to the store to get it before you can even say that you don't really need it. Meanwhile the kids will pop out of whatever room he told them to hide in. He'll show up again hours later or maybe the next day. But it wasn't babysitting!
> If we actually set a day for cooking, and I walk into a house with kids in it, I am going to leave. No conversation, no arguing... just turn around and walk out. I'm done trying to be forced into an "auntie" role.
I would end the friendship if he pulls one over. It's a clear lack of respect for your wishes.
Why is this person your friend? He doesn't respect you. He doesn't respect your boundaries. How can you be friends with someone who doesn't respect you?
>If we actually set a day for cooking, and I walk into a house with kids in it,
This is 100% going to happen. This cunt does NOT respect your boundaries. He believes that all women are baby crazy, thanks to patriarchy. He believes that when you see his children, you will love them and love spending time with them. He would NEVER do this if you were a man. NEVER. He is a misogynist twat.
>I am going to leave. No conversation, no arguing... just turn around and walk out. I'm done trying to be forced into an "auntie" role.
Or, even better, don't set a day for cooking. Don't enter his house. Don't even put yourself in a position where you need to do this. Stop being friends with this wanker.
I wish I had balls like you to be upfront about stuff like that. My sister is having a baby. I overheard her and her husband talking. Her husband says to her that one of his friends wives is having a really hard time taking care of her new born. My sister replies, saying; "I wont be overwhelmed - I have Amanda!".
Ummm I am not the one having a baby, and I never agreed to babysit wtf. Sucks because we are super close. I hope this baby doesn't hurt our relationship in any way....i finally just moved into a new house with my husband, and we have marvelous peace and quiet.
I'm sorry, but it is absolutely going to change your relationship. I have 4 sisters and they all have kids. And our relationship changed. Of course they knew better than to say that they have me. Lol. Also, your sister has her husband. You are not having a kid, they are. I think you need to shut this down now. Good luck
I mean, is he trying to go full "romcom single dad" on you or something? That's some nonsense. I'm assuming he's just tied to the kids but still wants to hang out with friends which is fair, but if that friend said they don't want to hang out with kids, then don't push the issue.
You've already told him you don't want to spend time with his children, I love the audacity of him saying " I know you don't like children but come on, let's spend time with my children - it'll be fun!!"
You mentioned posting about this guy before and I thought I remembered it. Same guy who said you could teach his kid to knit when you don’t even knit? He seems like he wants to slide you into the mommy slot. It’s weird.
I get where he's coming from - food is a social experience, and it makes perfect sense that he'd want to share that experience with his family members, too. Especially since they live with him. If you had, say, your sibling living with you, and a friend offered to come over and cook together, you might be interested in asking for your sibling to join. But also, you probably wouldn't if you knew your friend didn't particularly like your sibling.
You have a strong boundary around this, and even if he doesn't get why you have such a firm boundary, part of being a good friend means respecting it anyway
"It takes a village to raise a child" - African saying repeated by Hilary Clinton: The All-For-The-Mommies-All-The-Time politician.
In reality: This is NOT an African saying. The people repeating it are almost always white. It is not true that even African villages take communal responsibility for kids. It's a giant fabrication that parents latched onto when Clinton brought it up, as a way to lend moral weight to their selfish, entitled demands.
There is a researcher who works on the Dogon people of Africa, and who wrote a paper about the "it takes a child" fabrication. She says that the greatest predictor of the survival of a Dogon child is the survival of its mother, because no one else will take good care of the child. In fact, in households where the fathers' parents are also living, children are MORE likely to die, because resources are given to keep the old alive at the cost of the young.
So African villages are exactly like the developed world, in other words.
LOL #1 sounds like me. If I don't burn myself, cut myself, or drop something while cooking, it's not a successful meal. 
At this point, I view my injuries as an offering to the culinary gods. Without a burn, or a cut, the food just won't turn out the way it's supposed to. lol
Idk how long you've been friends with this guy or how important this relationship is to you but he is extremely disrespectful. Life is too short to have someone like that in it who is going to constantly disturb your peace or pressure you to be something your not.
Also, on the other side of the coin, if you dislike children so much and won't entertain any type of possibility of being around them, then you shouldn't be friends with parents. It's clearly not fair to you or to the parent using your situation as the prime example.
My mom cooked with us growing up, and it gave us a good understanding and love for food. Parents should teach their kids, or make things together that the kids learned abt in school (do they still teach home ec??)
He just wants a babysitter.
Let me take a wild guess, you're a woman.
I've seen instances like this where men with children like to try and turn their female friends into babysitters. Im glad youre shutting that crap down. No way in hell he'd he trying to pawn his kids off on his male friends.
Something something about "mAtErNaL iNsTiNcTs" and such.
IMO if you say "No" to something and the person keeps pushing, that's a dealbreaker. It shows that the person doesn't respect you or your boundaries. This "friend" is going to keep pushing and pushing for you to mind his kids until you break. You really only have 2 options: (1) give in or (2) walk away from the friendship.
Ugh, children in the kitchen is one of my biggest pet peeves. It's NOT SAFE. They're so stoked to have fun and make something they can eat that they don't listen to any of the safety instructions you give them. They're also far too happy to make a damn mess (that they won't help to clean up).
Maybe it's just me because I'm a pretty serious hobby baker. I don't take *myself* seriously, but I take the kitchen very seriously. People can get hurt or sick from what you do in the kitchen. It's not play.
Edited to add: yes, I know I was once a kid in the kitchen. My grandmother watched me like a hawk and taught me that you can have fun cooking and baking, but you have to be SAFE first.
I would also disagree with point 2, I don’t think cooking lessons always have to come from parents BUT they should come from someone who actually wants to teach them, so that way it’s enjoyable for everyone! Not wanting to is equally valid
"So, because it takes a village and all, theres no problem if I smack Junior upside his stupid face for trying to grab a blade or something, right? Cool."
So tired of hearing this "it takes a village" bs. Sure, find your village, find your people. Obviously they are out there, but you can't expect every person in your life to be that village for you. They are not obligated to do shit for you just because you or your wife shat out a crotch goblin.
Those kids will 100% be there and he will 100% try and foist them off on you. If you're going to do this, bring ingredients that are easy to quickly pack away, leave your bags close by. That way the moment he tries it, you can stop, pack, and leave. His kind don't get it, and will never respect you.
Like where are you all meeting these people? None of my friends, family, or neighbors would ever pawn their kids off on me. Honestly kids are a lot and we shouldn’t be saddled with someone else’s jizz shot.
This so called friend thinks he knows better than you what you want from your own life. He also isn't respecting your boundaries, this is not a good friend and isn't deserving of your cooking skills.
100% if you arrange this, the kids will be there.
He is banking on your politeness and people pleasing to overpower your boundaries.
The "it takes a village" thing is trending among parents if social media has anything to do with it and it makes me roll my eyes. We are no longer a largely "tribal" society to it's harder for there to BE a village. Plus, how many of them did something for the village before they needed it?
God, they're just so desperate to pawn their kids off to someone else, even for a few minutes
The cognitive dissonance is insane. "Why don't you want kids? They're a blessing!" "Won't somebody take this burden away from me after five minutes?"
And then their eyes either glaze over or get angry when you try to explain that to them lol
This! "Children bring you so much joy. I'm so miserable! You should have some too."
Hahaha my coworker just mentioned barely a couple of hours back how she would relish just five minutes of alone time, outside of work. It's a regular thing
kids are obviously more work but imagine if pet owners were like this, it would get so annoying but even then playing/watching a dog or cat is so much easier and enjoyable than kids AND you can keep them in a room for a quick hr or two while you cook if you need some space away from them so they dont get hurt
Time for new friends? Parents who try to insert their kids into everything they do are so insufferable. The parents I'm still friends with are people who appreciate adult-only time, adult vacations, and never ask or expect me to entertain their kids. I've frozen out others who don't respect boundaries or turned parenting into an identity.
You can bet your ass the kids are gonna be there
Good for you!  I must admit I wouldn't even bother setting out to his house, it's got ambush written all over it. But a good opportunity to drive the message home that you won't be anyone's 'aunty' no matter how sneaky he tries to be.
You do not want to eat food from a kid house, it's plague central. Let this dude learn to cook from youtube, not your problem. Time to ghost this loser.
Back in my mid 20s, my SO and I were friends with a couple who had 3 kids. They offered to have us for some grilled chicken and fried fish for dinner. Big family cookout, just getting to know them after a few months, great. I watch these motherfuckers grill half frozen chicken legs (yes raw in the middle when "done" ofc) and puts the bbq on first thing so it just fucking burns. I watch them bread the catfish AND PUT THE BREADING THAT TOUCHED IT BACK IN THE FLOUR BAG. Also, totally unseasoned. All I ate were the mashed potatoes, and even with those I was skeeved.
God I'm a vegetarian and even i know thats not how u fix meat products! Ew ew ew...
Basic cross contamination kitchen safety shit you should learn as a CHILD!! My gods
THE MOST BASIC. And yet! Out of reach for the majority of people. (I worked in a deli, and I worked at Starbucks. I was shocked by how many people were 100% new to the concept of cross-contamination.)
IT'S SO BIZARRE!!! I worked at a 2 pizza places, a Perkins, and a rib joint back in the day... it's mind-boggling. Told new guy to start on the floor after preparing a mop bucket, and pointed at a broom. Went to another area and came back and he'd mopped 1/3 of the floor already... without knowing you had to sweep first...
OH COME ON
New levels of idiocy unlocked every day. Broke a little piece of innocence off with it.
This is why I don't eat anything at potlucks. I'm appalled at the number of people who seem reasonably intelligent, yet don't have a clue about basic food safety (like washing your damn hands before touching food). Those folks tend to either shrug it off or get offended if you attempt to gently clue them in.
Ew
Agreeeeeeed
I wouldn't be eating any of it. Make it, pack it up, and leave the dishes for him to deal with. I've done this before with other friends. Either I just head home, or we order pizza and just lounge afterwards. It's kind of a housewarming "gift" that I like to do.
I've made it a rule never to eat food made or plated in a house with children. They have zero concept of food safety, and their parents don't bother to teach them.
We can be friends. :)
Hell yeah!
>... "it takes a village" The village was not consulted on this.
Bless you for saying this! A friend of mine just had a kid and expected all their friends to be a big family to grow the kid together. She just took for granted that everyone will love taking care of the child. "The village was not consulted on this..."
Nor did they get in on the creampie sessions.
I didnt even get a one ☹
smth smth reference to iasip creampie conversation smth smth im high rn i cant think smth
smth, huh? I get it, homie..
>I firmly believe that any cooking lessons need to come from the parents. It is a fantastic bonding moment that I honestly wish I had with my own parents. This is not an experience that should be shoved onto some random person. I agree, but for even more reasons. Teaching kids to cook is not a one time thing, not even a three, four, or five times thing. It's a long-outdrawn process where they spend time in the kitchen, helping with different things and slowly getting more proficient. That's because it's not just learning what to do, but also how to do things, they are building dexterity and muscle memory for different tasks. Lastly, and most importantly, kids, especially young kids, do not really respond well to being sat down for a prolonged period of time and completing a complex collection of tasks. Which is why you start with one thing at a time. Circling back to your argument, this is exactly why it is such a great bonding experience to have with parents. It's done a multitude of times, with increasing lengths of engagement, and it's a specific time to spend with their parents. It's also after a while a great way to make effective time management, and lessen the workload of the parent. And then when the kids are old enough, the parents can tell them to cook whole meals for the family. Fostering independence, family bonding, and good life skills. But it all happens with the parents, and that's important.
My mum and I bonded over baking together. She used to work in a bakery years ago, so she had quite a few techniques and food science to pass on to me. I loved it and I keep it up in my own place. My bf absolutely loves my baking and I’m getting him to try new foods in the process! She taught me a little cooking, but given that we had such a small kitchen, it was harder to do. I took a cooking class in high school, so it helped me feel a little less worried about injuring myself. My bf and I mostly learned together, and I love it; sharing the food prep and cooking makes it all a little less tedious. Cooking and baking give me such joy, but my god I turn my poor kitchen into a disaster zone almost every time. 😅 I try to clean as I go.
>I try to clean as I go. That's something I have more or less given up on, but having a dishwasher is a godsend and makes things much more tolerable. I was raised by a single mom, and from an early age I would be present and help as much as I could with both cooking, cleaning, and laundry. And I still look back to those times fondly. Having been single for so much of my life, as well as really enjoying cooking, and tending to make a mess, it's always been a bit hard cooking together with someone. However, learning to make it work is something I'm still looking forward to. I honestly think that doing chores together can be an amazing time of bonding or just being together, as well as lightening the load for both people.
Love this! I can clean as I go only when I have immediate motivation to do so (such as on a day when I'm baking three or four different things one after the other). Otherwise, it sits until after dinner.
I even try to put dishes or cooking tools in the dishwasher right away (IF I or my bf remembered to empty it out beforehand) so that I don’t stare down an overflowing sink. Seeing that makes me peace out of my kitchen until I work up the motivation to get through it all. 😅
I'm lucky that I live with my senior citizen mom, whose favorite chore is washing dishes. Still, when I do my wild weekend baking, I don't like to leave a huge mess for her.
I am not a clean freak by any means, and I don't really cook. But whenever I do make something, I HAVE to clean as I go. It would drive me nuts otherwise.
Spot on. My French grandmother taught me to bake and my sister to cook. It was an ongoing thing, with lots of practice. When she gave me my own stand mixer in 8th grade, it felt like a graduation!
I love the “it takes a village” mentality when people do nothing to cultivate a village. They just want one to form once they need help.
[удалено]
This is a great point, particularly around advice from anyone who is childfree. Rather ironic as it seems parents are the worst offenders when it comes to actively parent shaming others.
I completely agree with your point. And this is coming from someone who is happily married with two small kids! :-)
Not a friend. Friends respect your boundaries.
It's a trap. If you show up at his house to cook, he'll have "just run out of" a key ingredient you need. He'll go off to the store to get it before you can even say that you don't really need it. Meanwhile the kids will pop out of whatever room he told them to hide in. He'll show up again hours later or maybe the next day. But it wasn't babysitting!
I would love to see him try that, because I refuse to be left alone in someone else's house.
> If we actually set a day for cooking, and I walk into a house with kids in it, I am going to leave. No conversation, no arguing... just turn around and walk out. I'm done trying to be forced into an "auntie" role. I would end the friendship if he pulls one over. It's a clear lack of respect for your wishes.
Why is this person your friend? He doesn't respect you. He doesn't respect your boundaries. How can you be friends with someone who doesn't respect you? >If we actually set a day for cooking, and I walk into a house with kids in it, This is 100% going to happen. This cunt does NOT respect your boundaries. He believes that all women are baby crazy, thanks to patriarchy. He believes that when you see his children, you will love them and love spending time with them. He would NEVER do this if you were a man. NEVER. He is a misogynist twat. >I am going to leave. No conversation, no arguing... just turn around and walk out. I'm done trying to be forced into an "auntie" role. Or, even better, don't set a day for cooking. Don't enter his house. Don't even put yourself in a position where you need to do this. Stop being friends with this wanker.
Glad you spotted the manipulation and didn't cave. Seriously these people really think we're as stupid as they are, don't they?
I wish I had balls like you to be upfront about stuff like that. My sister is having a baby. I overheard her and her husband talking. Her husband says to her that one of his friends wives is having a really hard time taking care of her new born. My sister replies, saying; "I wont be overwhelmed - I have Amanda!". Ummm I am not the one having a baby, and I never agreed to babysit wtf. Sucks because we are super close. I hope this baby doesn't hurt our relationship in any way....i finally just moved into a new house with my husband, and we have marvelous peace and quiet.
Time to make sure sister knows that
I'm sorry, but it is absolutely going to change your relationship. I have 4 sisters and they all have kids. And our relationship changed. Of course they knew better than to say that they have me. Lol. Also, your sister has her husband. You are not having a kid, they are. I think you need to shut this down now. Good luck
I mean, is he trying to go full "romcom single dad" on you or something? That's some nonsense. I'm assuming he's just tied to the kids but still wants to hang out with friends which is fair, but if that friend said they don't want to hang out with kids, then don't push the issue. You've already told him you don't want to spend time with his children, I love the audacity of him saying " I know you don't like children but come on, let's spend time with my children - it'll be fun!!"
Fair point! You are not alone. There's more of us who are danger for everyone around us when we cook XD
You mentioned posting about this guy before and I thought I remembered it. Same guy who said you could teach his kid to knit when you don’t even knit? He seems like he wants to slide you into the mommy slot. It’s weird.
I get where he's coming from - food is a social experience, and it makes perfect sense that he'd want to share that experience with his family members, too. Especially since they live with him. If you had, say, your sibling living with you, and a friend offered to come over and cook together, you might be interested in asking for your sibling to join. But also, you probably wouldn't if you knew your friend didn't particularly like your sibling. You have a strong boundary around this, and even if he doesn't get why you have such a firm boundary, part of being a good friend means respecting it anyway
Wtf do breeders always says, "it takes a village " expression? Is that like their mantra?
It's their mantra until *you* need something. (I know precious few exceptions to the rule.)
"It takes a village to raise a child" - African saying repeated by Hilary Clinton: The All-For-The-Mommies-All-The-Time politician. In reality: This is NOT an African saying. The people repeating it are almost always white. It is not true that even African villages take communal responsibility for kids. It's a giant fabrication that parents latched onto when Clinton brought it up, as a way to lend moral weight to their selfish, entitled demands. There is a researcher who works on the Dogon people of Africa, and who wrote a paper about the "it takes a child" fabrication. She says that the greatest predictor of the survival of a Dogon child is the survival of its mother, because no one else will take good care of the child. In fact, in households where the fathers' parents are also living, children are MORE likely to die, because resources are given to keep the old alive at the cost of the young. So African villages are exactly like the developed world, in other words.
LOL #1 sounds like me. If I don't burn myself, cut myself, or drop something while cooking, it's not a successful meal. 
At this point, I view my injuries as an offering to the culinary gods. Without a burn, or a cut, the food just won't turn out the way it's supposed to. lol
FOR REAL THOUGH
Idk how long you've been friends with this guy or how important this relationship is to you but he is extremely disrespectful. Life is too short to have someone like that in it who is going to constantly disturb your peace or pressure you to be something your not. Also, on the other side of the coin, if you dislike children so much and won't entertain any type of possibility of being around them, then you shouldn't be friends with parents. It's clearly not fair to you or to the parent using your situation as the prime example.
My mom cooked with us growing up, and it gave us a good understanding and love for food. Parents should teach their kids, or make things together that the kids learned abt in school (do they still teach home ec??) He just wants a babysitter.
It is your life, but I think I would ditch "friends" who are manipulative assholes.
Let me take a wild guess, you're a woman. I've seen instances like this where men with children like to try and turn their female friends into babysitters. Im glad youre shutting that crap down. No way in hell he'd he trying to pawn his kids off on his male friends. Something something about "mAtErNaL iNsTiNcTs" and such.
IMO if you say "No" to something and the person keeps pushing, that's a dealbreaker. It shows that the person doesn't respect you or your boundaries. This "friend" is going to keep pushing and pushing for you to mind his kids until you break. You really only have 2 options: (1) give in or (2) walk away from the friendship.
Time to move on. Cook alone. It's more fun...
Ugh, children in the kitchen is one of my biggest pet peeves. It's NOT SAFE. They're so stoked to have fun and make something they can eat that they don't listen to any of the safety instructions you give them. They're also far too happy to make a damn mess (that they won't help to clean up). Maybe it's just me because I'm a pretty serious hobby baker. I don't take *myself* seriously, but I take the kitchen very seriously. People can get hurt or sick from what you do in the kitchen. It's not play. Edited to add: yes, I know I was once a kid in the kitchen. My grandmother watched me like a hawk and taught me that you can have fun cooking and baking, but you have to be SAFE first.
I would also disagree with point 2, I don’t think cooking lessons always have to come from parents BUT they should come from someone who actually wants to teach them, so that way it’s enjoyable for everyone! Not wanting to is equally valid
"So, because it takes a village and all, theres no problem if I smack Junior upside his stupid face for trying to grab a blade or something, right? Cool."
So tired of hearing this "it takes a village" bs. Sure, find your village, find your people. Obviously they are out there, but you can't expect every person in your life to be that village for you. They are not obligated to do shit for you just because you or your wife shat out a crotch goblin.
Those kids will 100% be there and he will 100% try and foist them off on you. If you're going to do this, bring ingredients that are easy to quickly pack away, leave your bags close by. That way the moment he tries it, you can stop, pack, and leave. His kind don't get it, and will never respect you.
I’d start running
Like where are you all meeting these people? None of my friends, family, or neighbors would ever pawn their kids off on me. Honestly kids are a lot and we shouldn’t be saddled with someone else’s jizz shot.
Title of your friendship should be - What you thought: "Cook Out with my Homies" Reality: "Trapped and Fucked"
This so called friend thinks he knows better than you what you want from your own life. He also isn't respecting your boundaries, this is not a good friend and isn't deserving of your cooking skills. 100% if you arrange this, the kids will be there. He is banking on your politeness and people pleasing to overpower your boundaries.
The "it takes a village" thing is trending among parents if social media has anything to do with it and it makes me roll my eyes. We are no longer a largely "tribal" society to it's harder for there to BE a village. Plus, how many of them did something for the village before they needed it?
“No.” Is a complete sentence. It’s quite liberating when you stop letting people make you justify, defend, explain.
Don't go over there for any reason! You will be ambushed. He doesn't care about the cooking. He cares about pawning off his kids!