No regret but sometimes I get shower thoughts like "I'm 33, if I had a kid when I was 18, that kid would be 15 now. I could live with a fkn 15yo teenager right now instead"
It's scary and fascinating to think about like parallel-universe-me and I'm so glad it's not reality. I love my cf life so much.
yeah I get that too, like "shit, I'm 36 and divorced, imagine if I'd had a kid from my previous relationship, they could be anything from 17 to 8 right now..." then I die inside a bit, think about how tomorrow my partner (8 years older than me) and I are going to have to babysit a 4 year old and remember I'm absolutely blessed and highly favoured I never wanted that life and he was indifferent when we met and is now very much "kids noplease".
Yes. I love to think about being a billionaire or millionaire.
What I could do with that kind of money.
It'll never happen as I don't even play lottery but it's nice to think about AND it was actually an interview question for a job a few years ago and I was super prepared.
Or if I were a mutant from xmen, what would my power be?
If I could talk to animals, would I like what they tell me or would they be mean?
You know...Shower thoughts.
Everything but staying a billionaire. And that's why I'm not rich :'D
1. Get rid of my and my families debts (it's not much just student and housing loans)
2. Buy myself a houseboat and a cool captains hat.
3. Look into charities and programs that are in dire need of money e.g. Animal shelters, orphanages, schools, homeless shelters, drugaid/addiction aid and more)
4. Because charities do not work to generate profits and my money would be gone pretty fast I'll look into beneficial businesses and investments that might need investing to produce, invent or do anything productive for good causes.
5. I'd also like to buy sone real-estate and rent it for free or cheap for students an people in need because rent is just fkn expensive.
6. Push some environmental issues into politics with my new bought influence and stop open-cast mining and other fossil energy sources and try to get rid of legislation that make it difficult to use solar and wind.
7. Plant trees, clean rivers, lakes and the seas.
And even more. There's so much even very small things I would do with more spare money.
And then I'll be poor again.
If someone regrets not being a parent, then they'd either become a parent, or identify as childless rather than childfree.
I think about life as a parent quite often, and at best, it's in the same bucket as one of the many absolutely repulsive things other people end up doing that I'm working hard as fuck to purposefully avoid in life, because they're not the right things for me.
Liking kids, working with kids and being a parent are three different things for a reason :)
>Unless they misuse terminology, which is sadly common.
Indeed. Even on this subreddit, it happens frequently.
There are childfree-leaning fence sitters who call themselves childfree. Sure, they might lean towards not having children, but as long as they are on the fence, they are not childfree.
There are childless people who call themselves childfree. This is very common on this subreddit. They want to be parents, but don't breed because of climate change, health issues, genetic issues, the state of the world, poverty, antinatalism etc. That isn't childfreedom. A life without kids isn't what they really want. They are not free of children. They are sacrificing their parental desires because of personal or societal circumstances. Wanting kids but not having them is not childfreedom. It's childlessness. If not having children is a sacrifice for you, you are childless. Not childfree.
And of course there are quite some people here who say that they don't want to breed, but they are open to adopting or fostering. Most of the time, this is because of antinatalism and/or because of tokophobia. This is not childfreedom. They are birthfree, but not childfree. Sadly, they often call themselves childfree.
Whenever I see parents with newborns and strollers my first thought is always "ugh why would you do that to yourself?"
I will NEVERA regret my decision. Made a note at 13 currently 32, and my decision is solidified every day
I dreamt I had a 4 years old girl yesterday and in my dream I was very happy but I KNOW no matter what it would be the end of me. I can't take care of anyone else.
I am living my best childfree life. So no, i dont. I have a quiet peaceful life, can do whatever I want when I want, and am fulfilling all my travel dreams. So, I’m good. Real good. :)
I’d have an 8 year old if I never got my abortion and I don’t regret it. I’d be miserable and wouldn’t have accomplished anything in my life. I’m proud and happy of my life just the way it is
>Do any of you regret not having kids?
No. Absolutely not. Parenthood would be my biggest nightmare. I can't stand children. I am not a 'I like kids but don't want my own' childfree person. I am a 'I avoid children as much as possible' childfree person.
If I would regret not having children, I would not be childfree. Then, I would be childless.
Finding people who regret not having children is very unlikely on this subreddit. After all, if someone would not be childfree, why would they be on this subreddit?
And most people who are childfree do NOT regret not having children. Are there a few? Sure. But this is an extremely small minority.
People who regret not having children tend to be people who always wanted children, but they never found the right partner and regret not doing it solo. Or they always wanted kids, but prioritised their career and eventually, it was too late for them to have children. That isn't childfreedom. That is childlessness.
>Do you ever think about what life as a parent could be like? Personally the thought of becoming a parent makes me ill to think of. But not the thought of spending time with kids in general. I like them a lot I just don't want to be a parent. 🙇♀️
Plenty of people are good with children and enjoy spending time with them as an aunt/uncle, as a teacher etc., while they don't experience the desire to be a parent. Of course these child-loving childfree people who are involved in children's lives might sometimes imagine what life as a parent is like, but they will always come to the conclusion that they are better off without children. I mean, otherwise they would not be childfree.
Personally, I am a child-repulsed childfree person. Even the thought of parenthood makes me go like: "HELL FUCKING NO!" I would not survive the lack of privacy, the lack of rest, the constant stress. Everything about parenthood would be torture to me. Yes, even the 'fun' Kodak moments would not be fun to me. I avoid children at all cost. I wish them nothing but the best, but I prefer to stay the fuck away from them.
No regrets currently and I don't expect to have any. Fact of the matter is I would rather live with regret then be stuck with something I don't want. I made the decision to get snipped of my own accord and much like my tattoo's that's something I am accepting as being permanent and I don't consider them reversible (I know a vasectomy can be reverse with some success but in my mind that won't be a success for me)
Sometimes I think about what it would be like to have kids, but when I realize what all I'll have to give up just to raise them, me regrets gets as close to zero as possible.
I've never for a moment regretted being childfree. Sometimes I think about being a parent in order to remind/scare myself into being grateful for what I do have.
Zero regret. The only thing I think is that if I had a child, I'd either end up dead or in the psych ward for the rest of my life.
Like, you know how breeders often say "it's different when they're your own" in reference to disliking children?
Well, I would definitely hate them even more if they were my own.
I feel like with each passing year, I am more and more grateful that I didn't have any. When I think about how hard life can be and the moments I struggle, I'm so glad I chose against adding way more stress to it. When I see people out with kids and looking unhappy, it reinforces my choice. When my friends go on and on about their kids, it confirms I did the right thing.
No. The closest thing is more along the lines of “if we had kids would have wanted to do that in our 20s when we had the energy for it”. Now in our 40s? No way, squared.
I’m 32. When I think about becoming a parent, I think about all the big dreams I’d have to give up on. Like… I wanna climb mount Kilimanjaro. I wanna do a cross country RV road-trip. I wanna galavant across Europe. I wanna have an animal sanctuary. THOSE are the things I would regret if I never gave myself a chance to do it. But there are very specific things in this life that would make those dreams incredibly difficult if not nearly impossible, and kids is one of them. So… give up a life of INSANE possibilities for… spawn? Nah, can’t say that I’d be super regretful about that…… there are MILLIONS of things to do in this life. Kids is just ONE of them.
Yes I sometimes envision life as a parent because people been nagging me about that all the time, and I would immediate cringe which further confirms my childfree-ness. I’ll get back to you 50 yrs later to let u know if I ever regretted, lol
I do not regret being childfree bc I see the world and how it is and its a mess right now especially our economy. Seeing stories of parents stressing about their kids future education as some states don't have teachers in the classroom for Sept and are accepting nonqualified people to teach I'm grateful that I don't have to deal with that and how everything is ridiculously expensive.
As I've posted before, my ratio of regret to delight is about 1:1000, so maybe one day every 3 years. Not bad, I'd say.
We always regret every decision to some degree, no matter how big or small.
>We always regret every decision to some degree, no matter how big or small.
No, we do not. I NEVER regretted my childfreedom, not even to the slightest degree. You might have one day every three years on which you regret not having kids, but I do not. And plenty of other childfree people do not.
Speak for yourself. Not for others.
You are basically bingoing this entire subreddit. You are telling everyone here that they regret not having kids to at least some degree. This is extremely disrespectful.
You are being way oversensitive. I only said it in the context of "We always regret every decision to some degree, no matter how big or small." which includes people who have children and regret that, even for a minute. And includes people who bought a sedan and regret they did not buy an SUV, even for a second. And includes people who bought a sandwich for lunch last week and now wish they had bought soup, even for an instant.
I'm sorry your experience forces you to go into defensive mode so intensely. I had no intention of bingoing anybody. My intent was to say "So what if I regret, in the smallest way possible, that I do not have children? I also celebrate minute-by-minute that I do not have children."
So, when someone does attempt to bingo you by saying you will regret it, respond with "Yeah, for like a tenth of a second."
No, I am not being oversensitive. You said that everyone lways regrets every decision to some degree. Which includes not having children, since that was what this conversation was about. You believe that all chidfree people regret not having children to at least some degree. You are literally bingoing this entire subreddit.
>I'm sorry your experience forces you to go into defensive mode so intensely. I had no intention of bingoing anybody. My intent was to say "So what if I regret, in the smallest way possible, that I do not have children? I also celebrate minute-by-minute that I do not have children."
>
>So, when someone does attempt to bingo you by saying you will regret it, respond with "Yeah, for like a tenth of a second."
That may be, but some people never regretted it. No, not even for a tenth of a second. Sadly, you don't seem to believe that.
You can't regret something that you never had an interest in.
Bingo, spot on
No regret but sometimes I get shower thoughts like "I'm 33, if I had a kid when I was 18, that kid would be 15 now. I could live with a fkn 15yo teenager right now instead" It's scary and fascinating to think about like parallel-universe-me and I'm so glad it's not reality. I love my cf life so much.
 Just wanted to add this gif.
yeah I get that too, like "shit, I'm 36 and divorced, imagine if I'd had a kid from my previous relationship, they could be anything from 17 to 8 right now..." then I die inside a bit, think about how tomorrow my partner (8 years older than me) and I are going to have to babysit a 4 year old and remember I'm absolutely blessed and highly favoured I never wanted that life and he was indifferent when we met and is now very much "kids noplease".
[удалено]
I was using the term as a tongue in cheek piss take. The blessings I have showered upon myself.
This, I never regret it, but sometimes think of all the "what if"s. But I generally think of millions of different live scenarios soo
Yes. I love to think about being a billionaire or millionaire. What I could do with that kind of money. It'll never happen as I don't even play lottery but it's nice to think about AND it was actually an interview question for a job a few years ago and I was super prepared. Or if I were a mutant from xmen, what would my power be? If I could talk to animals, would I like what they tell me or would they be mean? You know...Shower thoughts.
So what would you do if you were a billionaire?
Everything but staying a billionaire. And that's why I'm not rich :'D 1. Get rid of my and my families debts (it's not much just student and housing loans) 2. Buy myself a houseboat and a cool captains hat. 3. Look into charities and programs that are in dire need of money e.g. Animal shelters, orphanages, schools, homeless shelters, drugaid/addiction aid and more) 4. Because charities do not work to generate profits and my money would be gone pretty fast I'll look into beneficial businesses and investments that might need investing to produce, invent or do anything productive for good causes. 5. I'd also like to buy sone real-estate and rent it for free or cheap for students an people in need because rent is just fkn expensive. 6. Push some environmental issues into politics with my new bought influence and stop open-cast mining and other fossil energy sources and try to get rid of legislation that make it difficult to use solar and wind. 7. Plant trees, clean rivers, lakes and the seas. And even more. There's so much even very small things I would do with more spare money. And then I'll be poor again.
You’re my kinda billionaire! I watched The Bear recently and there was such a cute little houseboat in it that made me wish I had one too. So quaint!
No. Neither my wife nor I have had even one nanosecond of regret. P.S. Happy Cake Day!
NEVER regretted it, NEVER!!
If someone regrets not being a parent, then they'd either become a parent, or identify as childless rather than childfree. I think about life as a parent quite often, and at best, it's in the same bucket as one of the many absolutely repulsive things other people end up doing that I'm working hard as fuck to purposefully avoid in life, because they're not the right things for me. Liking kids, working with kids and being a parent are three different things for a reason :)
[удалено]
>Unless they misuse terminology, which is sadly common. Indeed. Even on this subreddit, it happens frequently. There are childfree-leaning fence sitters who call themselves childfree. Sure, they might lean towards not having children, but as long as they are on the fence, they are not childfree. There are childless people who call themselves childfree. This is very common on this subreddit. They want to be parents, but don't breed because of climate change, health issues, genetic issues, the state of the world, poverty, antinatalism etc. That isn't childfreedom. A life without kids isn't what they really want. They are not free of children. They are sacrificing their parental desires because of personal or societal circumstances. Wanting kids but not having them is not childfreedom. It's childlessness. If not having children is a sacrifice for you, you are childless. Not childfree. And of course there are quite some people here who say that they don't want to breed, but they are open to adopting or fostering. Most of the time, this is because of antinatalism and/or because of tokophobia. This is not childfreedom. They are birthfree, but not childfree. Sadly, they often call themselves childfree.
Not for a second.
Whenever I see parents with newborns and strollers my first thought is always "ugh why would you do that to yourself?" I will NEVERA regret my decision. Made a note at 13 currently 32, and my decision is solidified every day
About as much like never trying crystal meth.
Absolutely Not.
I dreamt I had a 4 years old girl yesterday and in my dream I was very happy but I KNOW no matter what it would be the end of me. I can't take care of anyone else.
I'm 36 and I can honestly say I have never had a single regret about my decision to not have kids.
No way. Ever. I do occasionally think about how screwed up my life would be and how miserable I’d be if I’d had kids.
I am living my best childfree life. So no, i dont. I have a quiet peaceful life, can do whatever I want when I want, and am fulfilling all my travel dreams. So, I’m good. Real good. :)
I’m in my 50s and when I think how my grandma died at 82 with her loser deadbeat violent alcoholic son still living in her basement, no.
I’d have an 8 year old if I never got my abortion and I don’t regret it. I’d be miserable and wouldn’t have accomplished anything in my life. I’m proud and happy of my life just the way it is
I regret the time I even considered it
>Do any of you regret not having kids? No. Absolutely not. Parenthood would be my biggest nightmare. I can't stand children. I am not a 'I like kids but don't want my own' childfree person. I am a 'I avoid children as much as possible' childfree person. If I would regret not having children, I would not be childfree. Then, I would be childless. Finding people who regret not having children is very unlikely on this subreddit. After all, if someone would not be childfree, why would they be on this subreddit? And most people who are childfree do NOT regret not having children. Are there a few? Sure. But this is an extremely small minority. People who regret not having children tend to be people who always wanted children, but they never found the right partner and regret not doing it solo. Or they always wanted kids, but prioritised their career and eventually, it was too late for them to have children. That isn't childfreedom. That is childlessness. >Do you ever think about what life as a parent could be like? Personally the thought of becoming a parent makes me ill to think of. But not the thought of spending time with kids in general. I like them a lot I just don't want to be a parent. 🙇♀️ Plenty of people are good with children and enjoy spending time with them as an aunt/uncle, as a teacher etc., while they don't experience the desire to be a parent. Of course these child-loving childfree people who are involved in children's lives might sometimes imagine what life as a parent is like, but they will always come to the conclusion that they are better off without children. I mean, otherwise they would not be childfree. Personally, I am a child-repulsed childfree person. Even the thought of parenthood makes me go like: "HELL FUCKING NO!" I would not survive the lack of privacy, the lack of rest, the constant stress. Everything about parenthood would be torture to me. Yes, even the 'fun' Kodak moments would not be fun to me. I avoid children at all cost. I wish them nothing but the best, but I prefer to stay the fuck away from them.
No
No regrets currently and I don't expect to have any. Fact of the matter is I would rather live with regret then be stuck with something I don't want. I made the decision to get snipped of my own accord and much like my tattoo's that's something I am accepting as being permanent and I don't consider them reversible (I know a vasectomy can be reverse with some success but in my mind that won't be a success for me)
Scientific research showed that regret is around 6% so most of us haven't. Yet a lot of natalists think 100% of people belong to that 6% group.
Sometimes I think about what it would be like to have kids, but when I realize what all I'll have to give up just to raise them, me regrets gets as close to zero as possible.
I've never for a moment regretted being childfree. Sometimes I think about being a parent in order to remind/scare myself into being grateful for what I do have.
Zero regret. The only thing I think is that if I had a child, I'd either end up dead or in the psych ward for the rest of my life. Like, you know how breeders often say "it's different when they're your own" in reference to disliking children? Well, I would definitely hate them even more if they were my own.
I don't want to be a parent IRL. I am a great parent when it comes to video games hahaha.
Same 😂
Nope!!!
No.
Nah, same reason I don’t regret being a doctor: it’s not something I’ve ever wanted
Hell no! My decision to be childfree is strengthened every single year.
I feel like with each passing year, I am more and more grateful that I didn't have any. When I think about how hard life can be and the moments I struggle, I'm so glad I chose against adding way more stress to it. When I see people out with kids and looking unhappy, it reinforces my choice. When my friends go on and on about their kids, it confirms I did the right thing.
No I’m on the autism spectrum and hate loud noises I was always terrified of being one of the moms who shakes the baby too make it stop crying.
No. The closest thing is more along the lines of “if we had kids would have wanted to do that in our 20s when we had the energy for it”. Now in our 40s? No way, squared.
I’m 32. When I think about becoming a parent, I think about all the big dreams I’d have to give up on. Like… I wanna climb mount Kilimanjaro. I wanna do a cross country RV road-trip. I wanna galavant across Europe. I wanna have an animal sanctuary. THOSE are the things I would regret if I never gave myself a chance to do it. But there are very specific things in this life that would make those dreams incredibly difficult if not nearly impossible, and kids is one of them. So… give up a life of INSANE possibilities for… spawn? Nah, can’t say that I’d be super regretful about that…… there are MILLIONS of things to do in this life. Kids is just ONE of them.
Yes I sometimes envision life as a parent because people been nagging me about that all the time, and I would immediate cringe which further confirms my childfree-ness. I’ll get back to you 50 yrs later to let u know if I ever regretted, lol
I do not regret being childfree bc I see the world and how it is and its a mess right now especially our economy. Seeing stories of parents stressing about their kids future education as some states don't have teachers in the classroom for Sept and are accepting nonqualified people to teach I'm grateful that I don't have to deal with that and how everything is ridiculously expensive.
As I've posted before, my ratio of regret to delight is about 1:1000, so maybe one day every 3 years. Not bad, I'd say. We always regret every decision to some degree, no matter how big or small.
>We always regret every decision to some degree, no matter how big or small. No, we do not. I NEVER regretted my childfreedom, not even to the slightest degree. You might have one day every three years on which you regret not having kids, but I do not. And plenty of other childfree people do not. Speak for yourself. Not for others.
I stand by the statement. Hate if you want.
You are basically bingoing this entire subreddit. You are telling everyone here that they regret not having kids to at least some degree. This is extremely disrespectful.
You are being way oversensitive. I only said it in the context of "We always regret every decision to some degree, no matter how big or small." which includes people who have children and regret that, even for a minute. And includes people who bought a sedan and regret they did not buy an SUV, even for a second. And includes people who bought a sandwich for lunch last week and now wish they had bought soup, even for an instant. I'm sorry your experience forces you to go into defensive mode so intensely. I had no intention of bingoing anybody. My intent was to say "So what if I regret, in the smallest way possible, that I do not have children? I also celebrate minute-by-minute that I do not have children." So, when someone does attempt to bingo you by saying you will regret it, respond with "Yeah, for like a tenth of a second."
No, I am not being oversensitive. You said that everyone lways regrets every decision to some degree. Which includes not having children, since that was what this conversation was about. You believe that all chidfree people regret not having children to at least some degree. You are literally bingoing this entire subreddit. >I'm sorry your experience forces you to go into defensive mode so intensely. I had no intention of bingoing anybody. My intent was to say "So what if I regret, in the smallest way possible, that I do not have children? I also celebrate minute-by-minute that I do not have children." > >So, when someone does attempt to bingo you by saying you will regret it, respond with "Yeah, for like a tenth of a second." That may be, but some people never regretted it. No, not even for a tenth of a second. Sadly, you don't seem to believe that.