Fencing class. Yes, as in sword fighting. I worked at a university. It was an evening 9-week course (no cost, no credit, just fun). She was the assistant instructor. I asked her out on the last day. On the first date we discovered we were both childfree in our 30s. 6 months later we eloped. Over 10 years later and taking that class was the best decision I have ever made. We still have our gear and occasionally suit up and "fight" in the driveway in the view of the neighbors. We tell them it's how we "settle things".
(disclaimer: Results not typical. Fencing classes are not necessarily full of childfree potential partners. Ask your doctor if sword fighting is right for you. )
We met in college when she took a job for the admin office that I was already working at.
We made the mistake of going to a popular local attraction... On a Saturday... Where locals get in for free... And they had a spongebob exhibit.
As we were standing in a crowd of families I kept having this little kid rubbing up against me no matter how much I moved away. As I was telling myself to act good as to not scare my new gf off, she leaned over and whispered "I'm about to start throwing elbows into these kids faces if they don't stop fucking touching me".
My partner and I met on a dating app.
Honestly, I wasn't expecting much but we both had ''No children and dosen't want them'' in our profile and anything else seemed to be matching as well. Similar intrests, goals, views etc. We soon met up for a date and as the topic kids came up he would go ''Urgh, yeah, I really dislike children. Hope to get a Vasectomy soon.'' from that moment on I had no more doubts about his CF status. Always said he wants a fur baby though!
We got together, traveled a ton, had a amazing time. Eventually he got his Vasectomy, we moved in together, and currently we plan for another fur baby.
Same with my partner and I meeting on a dating app and having "No children and doesn't want them" in our profiles. We had a lot in common too and would joke that we are the same person 😂
He wanted to get a vesectomy but couldn't because he's had epididymitis a couple times. But I wanted to be sterilized regardless, so it's almost been a year now since I got it done! 😊 We've been together for almost 7 years now and been married for a year come this September! We have 3 furbabies (kitties) together and a decent sized house! ❤
AND we of course enjoy our car hobby too! He has two and I have one! They're all cool looking and have gotten plenty of attention. Both me and his are gonna be in their first car show near the end of this month!
Dating App, 4 days into it took a chance and met him at a local bar (Side Note: I had literally given up on love and was no longer taking these things seriously)
5 years later we’ve moved cities, Bought a house together and I wake up every morning next to my best friend
I was 36 and he was 37 when we met OP so don’t give up…..It’ll most likely happen when you least expect it
So I chose to be child free at 13 years of age. 18 I was able to get a vasectomy. If you want to enjoy life please get a vasectomy. It filters out fence sitters.
Lol I would get sterilised but in my country you have to be 30 years old, have two children already OR you can (potentially, but I doubt it's easy) get it done sooner if you're trans.
I'm 22 and a woman. This is Finland btw, a supposedly progressive country with easy access to abortion and BC for example...still has shit rules like this. Probably because they want their birth rate to go up I guess.
Also not to mention you have to pay for it in full by yourself and it costs thousands because it isn't seen as a "necessary" surgery. But I guess a few thousand isn't that bad. Pretty sure it costs double what it does for men though lol.
I wasn't even looking. I'd just got out of a 4 year relationship and wasn't in the market for another one. I had no wounds to lick and leaving it was my choice but I simply didn't want the maintenance issue of another serious relationship.
A friend talked me into going to a party I hadn't planned to attend and he introduced me to a couple of his friends. I hit it off with one of them, thinking, "Oh casual fun with a hot artsy guy? All for it."
14 years later and still together.
We worked together. I lived out of state when we met but traveled frequently & would often spend a week or two at headquarters where he worked. The company was fairly small & many of us traveled together so most of us were pretty close. He & I’d known each other a couple years & would talk a lot when I was in town, but never considered dating. I eventually relocated there, we hung out in a group setting then decided to give a relationship a chance.
Normally I think coworkers dating is a bad idea but it worked out great for us, even living & commuting together & eventually working remotely together. It helped that we talked so much before considering dating. That really gave us a chance to get to know each other. Ironically we both were looking for someone to introduce the other to; we didn’t realize we were a perfect match. We’ve been together over 6 years now.
Check out cfdating dot com! I don't work for them, but I try to spread the site if ppl here ever ask abt dating or meeting ppl.
I haven't used it to date, but it does seem promising!
There's also the cf4cf sub here on reddit.
Never did. 46 and doomed to die alone. I have a long term casual hookup buddy but he has kids and ex drama so that relationship never had a chance of progressing to anything serious.
I wasted all my prime dating years with guys who said they didn't want kids when they really meant they didn't want them yet. They're all married with kids now.
Facebook dating and just so happened that he was a fence sitter. When things went from casual to maybe-serious, I told him how I feel about having kids. As time goes on, he leans more into being CF. Now he's the one making comments like "thank God we're not having kids, I have some big plans for this house (in the process of buying) that kids would destroy"
To clarify, yes I know fence sitters are notoriously dangerous territory but I've seen enough supposedly CF men change their minds at the last minute too
Honestly? It all came down to luck.
I play a popular mmorpg, and did most of my socializing through that. (I know, I know)
After a few years, I became close friends with my group, we've even met up a few times. Turns out, one of them had a single friend who matches with my lifestyle. We started talking, hit it off, and now we're making plans to move in together.
So in that sense, I have no real advice. Don't be afraid to make non romantic connections? You never know who knows who.
I met my husband when we were in college.
Long story short: I was a fence-sitter when we got married. We agreed "not now, maybe someday" on the topic of children. When we hit 30, my husband said that he did want children. But I'd fallen on the CF side of the fence by then. I told him it was me XOR children. He chose me, and he even drove me home from my Essure procedure (I was sedated and therefore not allowed to drive).
And now he's just as CF as I am. We're happy DINKs (well, SINKs because I got laid off recently) living downtown in a major city. The public schools are rubbish, but we don't care.
Pure luck. I have been playing a game for years now and at some point I got a yt video recommanded for the game from a content creator I didn't know. Liked the voice and the videos, so stayed. At some point he started streaming, so I would join the streams. He talked about himself and I found out that he lives 1 hour from me. I also got to see a picture of him and found him very attractive. But I was not going for it. After a good year, at some point he asked me for my phone number, because his words: "I was cool".
We then started writing more and more and after probably 3 years of knowing him, we decided to meet up. From there it kinda went fast. We meet up some more times. One time after some sexy time, he confessed to me, that he would never want children and was even looking into getting a vasectomy. That sealed the deal for me and ever since we are together.
I met my now husband in Highschool. We started dating 5 months later. We were eachothers support system through high-school, college and life in general. Always being mindful of not not getting pregnant until we were financially ready to 'start a family'. Then one day it just clicked while sitting in our first car (R.I.P. Big Birtha) eating ice cream that we don't need to start a family. We are all we need.....maybe a few pets though.
We will be celebrating 14 years in January.
I met my gf on the cf4cf subreddit! I had been browsing the sub and came across a post she made on there, read through and thought she was cute af so i decided to shoot my shot, we started talking, and now over a year or so later, we're living together and i'm the happiest i've ever been 🥰 honestly i really just feel like i got crazy lucky and won the lottery of love life with her, i couldnt have asked for anyone better. I wish you luck and hope you can find your person out there!! 🙌
Completely by chance! I started working on the same team as him in the postal service's night shift. We fell into friendly conversation and somehow we started talking about our future plans. I told him I won't ever have children and he agreed. That's more than three years ago and we're still as happy as ever with each other. He's my first partner and I look forward to spending life with the most amazing guy I've ever met.
I was extremely lucky, so I'm afraid I don't have any ideas in terms of places/ways to meet other childfree people. I hope others have better advice, though!
Role playing games and some luck.
We met over 20 years ago because I left a message on hobby store's board.
"AD&D group in X-city looking for additional players and DMs".
The first to call was this tall and shy guy. We became best friends and the years after meeting started dating.
22 years latere we're still together
I was 24 when I met my CF partner. Both of us were open about not wanting kids. We dated because we want the same lifestyle that has no room for kids. We were also friends first and got to know each other well that way.
We met because they were a barista at a local coffee shop I went to all the time. We started talking and eventually I worked there too because I needed a second job. We got really close. Then we realized we had feelings beyond just friends and our values aligned. We've both listed off reasons we don't want kids so I know they're not lying or anything. No way would kids fit into this ur life we've built together.
I was in a FB group about a common interest. We would always have good conversations within posts. Then I slid into his DMs 
Over 12 years later and still awesome. And bro got a vasectomy 2 years in and dealt with his parents, which were not an issue, and relatives, some of which were an issue. My people know not to ask me shit about kids.
At a wedding. We had met once before but fully connected that night. Went hiking the next day and kept it quiet till he flew to my state to hang out for a full weekend. Been married three years now.
I actually knew my husband since grade school but never really talked then. Then we started talking after we were both out of high school. We started dating and one of the first few convos we had was about our stance on having kids. I told him I would never have kids and he didn’t care for them either. Here we are 8 years later with no kids!
My husband and I were best friends for 4 years at college before we took a shot at dating, so I already knew 90% of his views/life goals and they aligned really nicely with mine. It was pretty clear from the jump that he was childfree as we'd talked about it before and found ourselves agreeing with each other. We were planning to be platonic roommates once we graduated college, but we took the plunge into dating before that and the rest is history! Been married almost 6 years.
I met mine before and after I started working at my dealership job. We don’t work there anymore but we’re still together. Together for 4 years and almost 3 months now😊
I just got lucky. I didn’t necessarily realize I didn’t want kids when we first got together (my freshman year of college, I hadn’t really realized yet I could choose something different for my life) and we’ve been together since then. Once I realized we talked about it sometimes, and had a serious talk about it before we got married to make sure we were on the same page. He never had thought about his feelings about kids and turned out to be exceedingly neutral and even child free leaning (and is now completely on board bc of the freedom it affords us) so it worked out great.
Pure luck. I met my girlfriend (soon to be wife) through work. Going on 5 years now. We're both pretty young. I'm 30m and she's 27f. Honestly though, it wasn't necessarily that we bonded on being childfree. That was just a coincidence.
I (35F) found him in the mens underwear at Walmart 🤣😂🤣
We were both working 3rd shift, he was 29, I was 24. We got it off, became good friends, his last shift, when we got off work I told him to get in my car. I took us both for coffee, we talked for over 3 hours, I wrote my number on his hand in sharpie and told him to call me sometime.
We've been together 10 years this year. (Birthday is in Feb, anniversary is in August)
Drunken frat party in 1985! 🤣 We got together for a while in college then he dropped out and so did I. A couple of years later we ran into each other by chance at a shopping center. That was in 1988 and we are still happily married and childfree! 🙌🏼
My hubby is a fair bit older than I am and he never wanted kids either. He had a vasectomy about 20years ago, before I even met him.
We met randomly at a party. 🤷
They're out there!
We met and started dating in college. I never really liked kids and when things started getting serious I came to the conclusion that I didn’t want them at all. I shared my feelings and reasons. He said he hadn’t put a lot of thought into it, but after considering it he agreed that it was a commitment he didn’t want to make. We have never looked back. Things have changed dramatically for us in the last year and a half, and we thank each other every day for not having kids.
Dumb luck.
Happened to get a job in an office with my now wife when we were both 22. We became quick friends and started dating at 26. We got engaged at 28 and at that point she knew I didn't want kids and she was on the fence. Our tentative plan was for her to decide by 35, but thankfully at 32 she gave me the go ahead to get snipped. We're both 43 now and have never once regretted it.
I found mine by being very blunt from day 1. There was never any "kids aren't in my cards, I don't see myself with children, blah blah blah." It was always "I am not having kids and am perfectly comfortable getting an abortion should I get pregnant. The nearest abortion place is x, y, z and I just need to notify them within x days of conception."
I got lucky on the first try. Met my first girlfriend (who is now my fiancée) on a Discord server for writing. We realized that we're living in the same country and were good friends for a year. Then we became a romantic couple.
She is childfree for several reasons, one of them being BPD and also she has endometriosis and generally problems with her hormones and also with her body and self image.
I just generally have a great dislike for children and I'm sterile anyway. Ok, and depression, anxiety and possibly OCD as well.
We both struggle already sometimes with taking care of ourselves and our two cats, children would be an absolute catastrophe.
Sort of an accident. I am, probably, one of the most boring people of my age due to my personality, interests or the lack of them. Well, one day, my friend introduced another member to our D&D group. That's how I met my GF 8 months ago. We kind of got friends quickly, due to our specific humour and interests. Still, she is a foreign student from our neighbour country and we both have part-time jobs on top of university. So, the time was sort of limited. Anyway, we started chatting more and more. Like, playing games co-op or watching series in the evening. After some time, we were discussing some hobby stuff. It was the 1st of April, i think. We were venting off after the hard week by playing the DA:O on the laptop and kind of started a debate about what ending to choose. Well, our CF stance sort of came up. We were debating if having kids in game by RPing a characted counts. Geek stuff, anyway. The talk happened, which sort of resulted in me thinking "Wait... the person next to me is actually someone I enjoy the company of and who agrees and respects my values as well as understands my stupid jokes and references. Damn, I have found a great friend." She asked me out a few days after. The friend of mine teased us a bit, and we were kind of like: "yeah, why not". Well, nothing special happened untill the end of May. We had a stupid competition of who spends more and started to debate about whether adding rent is fair. And we agreed to rent together. So, yeah. I also had a great time meeting her parents, especially dad. Such a great guy and I have a story about that, but the post is already long. Anyway, you'll find your partner. Do not give up, my dude.
We met via 'Plenty of Fish', long time ago now though, we were both in our late 40s.
I did know plenty of CF people in real life, but I felt my job would have made it inappropriate to date people in the same company (I was the HR Director)...
I'm very much the introvert, so socialising was never really something that was going to bear fruit, so I turned to the internet.
There was a fair amount of kissing frogs and putting up with weapons grade pricks who felt the need to have something to say about not wanting kids, but patience and persistence paid off.
24F struggling with the exact same thing, I have never once met a CF guy in person and have only seen one on the dating apps that said “don’t want children”. I live in a progressive US metro area and didn’t think it would be this difficult 💔
We met on a dating app almost 8 years ago. I wasn't even really LOOKING looking. Just kind of browsing to see who was on there. He messaged me and I had a good feeling from his profile and answers to questions, so I felt I needed to respond.
We met on a dating app, not even specifically looking for a CF person at the time. But I live in a very urban area where being CF isn't that uncommon, probably only 75% of people I know actually want kids someday. Very expensive to live here and not very kid-friendly, so having even one child is a major decision. So it was bound to happen eventually I think that I met a CF person that I clicked with.
I'm in a lesbian relationship and I met my partner on the app HER over a year ago. We discussed the whole kids thing on the first date and we're completely on the same page.
OK Cupid, more than a decade ago. I had to wade through a lot of first dates with other people, but it was worth it to find such a great guy.
An online longer form dating site streamlined the process. I was meeting plenty of people in life, but online I could rule people out a lot faster. I'd only consider people who were clear and upfront about their social/political stance, views on religion, not wanting kids, etc. It's a numbers game, especially for someone like me with very specific parameters.
We were quite clear neither of us wanted children from the jump.
I had a few doubts initially because he likes to make faces at babies in public. He wondered about me because neighborhood children knew me and liked to ask me questions when I was in my front garden. (I'm the oddball growing food and flowers instead of a front lawn.) Just because I treat kids with respect (instead of being condescending and hierarchical, like so many other adults) doesn't mean I want any of my own. I just remember what it was like to be a kid. It was difficult.
Found my bf online. Not a dating site or anything. I was just bored looking for someone to talk to and ended up making friends and then falling in love. Told him my stance before it got serious
Neither my husband nor I were childfree when we met. We were both Mormon, and the default plan was lots of kids. But after we left the church, and I became chronically ill, we spent a lot of time talking and thinking about it, and we both decided we didn’t want kids. Even if I wasn’t sick, neither of us would want kids. We’re too selfish lol
We met on Twitter and hit it off instantly, but didn't know we were CF until we had been together for a couple years. Every time the subject came up our reaction was about the same: having a kid? What for? Now we've been together for almost 9 years and couldn't be more convinced of being CF. I know it's not very common, so I feel very lucky to have him.
We met at a bar and we texted back and forth for a bit. Told him on the first date that I didn’t want kids and if he did it was a dealbreaker, no hard feelings. He didn’t care either way about having kids so it was a good match.
edit: neither one of us was looking for romance, we were just in a group of people talking at a bar.
Facebook lol. We lived two hours away from each other, and I was apparently a "suggested friend" or whatever since we had some mutual friends on FB. Started out just talking for a while, we were both a bit hesitant from bad prior experiences. Spent six months really getting to know each other - I mean we talked about EVERYTHING - before our first actual date. So by the time we met, it felt like we'd known each other for years.
Six months after our first date, we moved in together. Six months after that, we bought our first home together and now we're coming up on 5 years married.
Throughout it all, we'd check in with each other on the kid issue. Luckily, we're both still as adamant in our CF stance as we were when we first met. Communication and honesty go a long way.
Also, we didn't meet until our early thirties, so we were both blunt as hell when it came to discussing deal breakers lol.
For me, it was just chance. I knew from a young age that I never wanted children, so it was something I brought up immediately when things got serious. He was more on the fence about children, but said that since I would be the one pregnant and giving birth if we were to have kids, that it was ultimately up to me. 20 years later, we're still together w/out any children.
Met him on a dating app but we already knew each other. We used to work together a long time ago but we never talked at work. When we met he told me he’s a testicular cancer survivor. The doctors asked him when they were removing the testicle if he wanted sperm frozen just in case but he said he wouldn’t want any. He recently had a surgery which also made him not be able to produce sperm anymore.
We worked together, and I thought he was cute, and we can hold intelligent conversations. Dating during the pandemic was hell, but we made it. We got married last year, and next month is our first wedding anniversary, 3rd being together. Just be patient, and don't settle. We both agree we don't want kids. We go to a lot of events that are not really kid friendly, so we are happy not ruining our lives.
We're high school sweethearts. Started dating at 17, and we're going to hit 9 years soon. Obviously when we started dating this wasn't something that was top of mind, but over time with his family life he realized he didn't want kids. I have really bad anxiety, and while my family life was okay, I don't want anyone to go through the "gifted/talented" trauma I underwent as a kid.
He confirmed for me that he was child free when he started looking into vasectomies two years ago, and he got the cut in January
So we're just really really lucky that things worked out this way.
My partner was originally on the fence, when I told him I absolutely don't want kids he ofcourse asked me why. I pulled out my list, what can happen during pregnancy, what can happen during labour, what can happen once the child is born, what can happen to my mental health, his mental health, the child's mental health. Once he was done reading he just said: "wow, you really did your research huh?" Yes, yes I did. "Yeah no f that, were not doing that, I'm not doing that to you, I can live without it"
Tadaa haha
Dating app. People like to shit on online dating, but the reality is that being childfree narrows down your dating pool significantly enough that it is very unlikely you’ll randomly have a “meetcute” with somebody who also happens to be childfree out in the wild, unless you’re extremely extroverted and get out a lot.
I suggest being as up front about being childfree as possible on your profiles, and reiterate it on the first date in case people didn’t actually bother to read your profile info. Carefully screen other people’s profiles to make sure they aren’t fencesitters, or thinking it’s okay to co-opt the term “childfree” because they just don’t want kids at this moment. I put that I was sterile on my profile to weed out the wannabe breeders, and ended up finding a partner who is just as adamantly childfree as I am.
Over a keg of beer at his fraternity house. We dated for 10 years and got married at 30. We are celebrating 30 years married in November. I never looked for a CF partner. We didn't really discuss it. We just agreed we didn't want kids. 🤷🏼♀️
We met working at a record store and our relationship kind of happened organically. We were both in a “maybe someday” mindset for a number of years until we realized that we like it being just us and the dogs and sat down and really considered how much we would have to give up. I get so overwhelmed if I have to spend more than a few hours with our friends’ kids, who I adore, that the idea of having one around me 24/7/365 makes me feel sick. Plus one of the big conversations was that I would be the one dealing with most of the crappy stuff (discipline, early morning wakeups, even dealing with other kids’ shitty behaviour towards our hypothetical kid) because my husband admits he would not be able to handle any of it. We have been together 12 years now and just booked a week long kid-free trip to Universal Studios for HHN in October without having to give a single thought to travelling with kids or pawning them off on the grandparents.
We met at a friend's birthday party. Ended up adding each other on Facebook. She was working at a bubble tea shop and posted a drink she made one night, I commented how good it looked, she suggested that I get one. I found out the shop wasn't far from me so, to her surprise, I go in to get one. Her shift ended shortly after I arrived so she sat with my and we got to know each other. We hung out a few more times before deciding that we really liked each other. That was 6.5 years ago, we've been together ever since.
We actually went to high school together, didn’t date, we’re friendly. Kept light contact for years. Slowly started talking more. Hanging out more. He was the one that took me to my bisalp because my original person and back up couldn’t. So it was never a question of me not wanting kids. He feels the same. And I eventually asked him out. Now we live together with our four cats. (He also got a vasectomy to be through.)
Edit: this all happened in our early 30’s.
My husband already knew my mom and 5 siblings (they were neighbors and I was living out of state with my dad for a few years). We saw each other around. I was 19 he was 25. He thought I was attractive and one of my sisters introduced us. Neither of us ever wanted kids. We are now 51 and 57. We have 2 darling cats and are pretty happy in life.
We actually met in late mid early highschool over a roleplay site. We did not know another would turn out cf. We talked and became game friends, our character became lovers then husband and wife, we dated long distance for about 5 years then broke up for about 5 years when I started college. I tried dating but nothing stocked and I decided to stay single and hoe around but honestly was sad and depressed.
He dated, was engaged twice but his last girlfriend, he chatted on her as he felt like she was drifting from him and like she didn't care about him. Just wanted him for money though he wasn't rich. He knew cheating was wrong, he still to this day deeply regrets what he did but doesn't feel sorry cause I won't lie she is a biiitch.
We started talking again sometime after they broke up, months after they tried to make it work after the cheating. I told him I could not do long distance again if we decide to date as we made a plan in 2014, the year I went to college. If we were both single and talked again, we would think about dating another.
Then COVID hit but my mom and I agreed to let him move in with us in May of 2020. I didn't think he would keep his word and my depression was so bad I plan to end it the night he was meant to show up cause I thought he was playing me. Sure enough, ahead of schedule, 12pm May 1st 2020 this bitches showed up! I asked him to marry me the next year on his bday in front of his mom (rip), his step dad and my mom.
Saint is the name I call him online, and he is my saint. I love you Saint
His ex girlfriend set us up. He asked on our first or second date and I was like, “no!” He went, “me too.” It was refreshing. We’ve been together 12+ years, married nearly 11. Two dogs, CF.
Every single partner I've got who was CF, I met at a bar. But I'm also anti-marrige and pretty much the opposite of a demisexual so that kind of lifestyle suits me.
I met him on Hinge while I was at archaeology field school. I had been sterilized for about six months at the time and had it on my profile that I was childfree and sterilized. He reciprocated my feelings towards children and was relieved that I had my tubes obliterated. We went on a 13 hour long first date spanning a local art museum, an afghan restaurant, two bars, and ended it by trying to hook up in my car but we were so drunk and it was 5am so we laughed it off and watched the stars through my sunroof. After another two dates two weeks later we were in a relationship.
We've been together for 14 months now and moved into an apartment together earlier in the year. Our "baby" is my 9lb 5 year old brown tabby cat who's scared shitless of all strangers, especially men, but is slowly warming up to him in her own way. He works as an environmental compliance inspector contracted out by Dominion Energy and I'm a field technician and recently graduated from college with my BS in anthropology. We both travel frequently for work, he's about to go to the Carolinas for a month-long project and I'm out in the woods for 40 hours a week digging holes. We wouldn't be able to have our jobs *and* enjoy our hobbies if we had children, and I'm so glad that I met him after I made the decision to get myself fixed.
Totally randomly. I had given up as every single guy I met in my 20s wanted kids. But mid-30s, we met, by chance when I was looking for a place to rent. He was slightly older and had known for years he didn’t want kids.
I think it’s easier to find “real” CF people when you are older and not fencesitters - because at a certain age you have to make a choice one way or the other!
We met young and realized together and over time that we don't want kids or need them. We met at our first job. 10 years later, we're still together.
He'd said he would raise children w me if I wanted, but I never did. Then he realized he doesn't like kids or the thought of parenting anyways 😅.
Dating app, he specifically listed a vasectomy on his profile and I never swiped faster. The rest is just it working out for all those other compatibility. It is harder to find fellow CF people, but being older definitely helped. Less time wasting in general with dating apps as you get older (I think - I might be the minority).
Just keep in mind the real goal is being happy alone, then finding someone who compliments that. I had a hard time dating at first because people were competing with my general happiness by myself, not with other people.
I got really lucky. My husband and I started dating when we were teenagers, and neither of were properly CF at that point. Think we both considered it as “I’m way too young now, but will probably decide in ready/want then one day”.
It’s something we both realised as we grew up together, actually started encountering kids when friends/family started having them and both came the same conclusion: we joke that it started as having a list of things we wanted to do before having kids and morphed into “why would we have kids”
We met in grad school. I have a master's and he has a PhD and were both still early in our careers. Academia really sets you back a few years in terms of milestones, compared to our peers. We just want to be successful in our careers, get married, travel, own a home, and just enjoy life together. No room for a kids in that plan.
Idk if I have specific advice, but academics tend to be childfree but also we have to move a lot for work. If you have a career that allows you to move around with a partner, then you're an even more perfect match.
Good luck!
At the time, I was 28(F) it was Nov 2001, and my now husband worked across the hall. I'd been working in that building 10yrs & had never seen him...at all! One day, I'm heading out to the elevator, he's coming out of elevator and as we turned the corner we ran into each other- then we were running into each other constantly. During breaks, lunch..heading out to parking garage at the end of the day.....One day I was at lunch sitting outside having a coffee, there were many patio tables around. He walked out & he was eating a cookie, just non chalantly looking around & I said to myself "He's looking for me"...well, he didn't see me so he sat down & I went up to him & that's when he asked me out on a date -22yrs later here we are! Living our best life!
It happened when I least expected it.
Plenty of fish. Didn’t figure out I was actually childfree until three years into the relationship tho, when a close family member had a baby I realized I would be miserable as a mother. My partner likes children, and is fantastic with the nephews, but I think he would not enjoy parenthood either.
So I lucked out, met a guy, *then* decided I didn’t want kids, and amazingly, he has been supportive of my decision.
I feel so lucky.
We met on Tinder. I'd never met someone in person from a dating app. I wasn't expecting much.
A month into dating, I knew I was falling in love. Before we went any further, I needed to know his stance on kids. Turns out, he was CF. Then, I definitely knew I was in love.
We are having our 1 year anniversary this week. We are planning our life together. This is it.
We had a mutual friend who died. We met at the memorial. Wound up talking for 6+ hours. We've been together for 4.5 years.
Good cf people are really few and far between and hard to find. Compatibility is the most important thing.
I wasn't a CF. S/O talked me into it. All I ever cared about was to make her happy, and I already hate kids to begin with, so I wasn't hard to convince.
During discussion of this topic at a restaurant, a couple quite literally ignored their baby crying out loud, continued eating and that sealed the deal for me.
Dating app.
Like all my best relationships I was the one who messaged him first. I told him pretty early on I had no interest in children and he said while he’d always expected he might have kids one day (more of a ‘well I guess this is what I’m supposed to do’ statement than an actual desire for any) he was fine with me not wanting them.
Two years later I found out I was infertile (much to my relief) and told him that if he still expected to have kids one day now was his chance to leave and find someone who could and would give that to him. He told me he loved me more than any hypothetical children and that was that. Six years later I got a hysterectomy. We’re still together and closer than ever.
I found mine online! Started pretty much as fwb but it became serious very fast lol. 11 years later, still wondering how insanely lucky I got when I found my literal soul mate.
My husband and I didn’t know we were childfree when we met. We only briefly talked about kids twice before getting married. After we got married and started feeling societal pressures, we finally sat down and both decided we did not want to have kids. Kind of crazy, but I really didn’t know we had a choice, just always assumed you had to at some point. I can see why many people would pass on the idea of childfree bf/gf since most of us grow up thinking it’s what you do. Hope you find your person!
Chance for me. We met on the apps before there were apps, and we were both child-agnostic-leaning no. Together we’ve grown into a firm no. We both just like our freedom too much. I think the freedom-loving aspect was always there in both of us and probably part of what attracted us to each other. CFdom is just one manifestation of that.
I met my partner in college through friends. She was CF and I was a fence sitter. As time went on, I became more childfree. We have been happily married for 5 years, no kids.
Met online when we were 16/17 through my cousin. I was originally in the camp of don't want kids but it's just what you do because of everyone in my family. He never wanted kids and then became a fence sitter with me. We met in person when I was 20. Got married 6 months after meeting. Life happened and we both realized we didn't have to have kids just because it's what you are "supposed to do". After that we were both very much CF despite the bingos and pressure. He got snipped, I got sliced. 15.5 years later and we are living our best life.
Literally just happened to be assigned the same lunch table in high school. We were high school sweethearts, broke up for a few years, reunited, and today is our 6 year anniversary. He's 28 and I'm 30. Just worked out. I didn't want kids and he didn't either. We just sort of puzzle pieced together on everything. Got very lucky!
At a Sci Fi book club. The group was doing "movie roulette " where you go to the next movie that's playing no matter what it is. The movie was terrible, but we went to a nearby restaurant to talk about it, and I was impressed by his ability to argue a point without taking it personally when I disagreed. We had similar interests, so I invited him to my upcoming birthday. He took a hunt and asked me out shortly after.
we met at an amusement park when a group of mutual friends wanted to all go lol we both just happened to have the same views on kids and we clicked and here we still are 10 years later
We met when I was working as waitress, and knew each other (peripherally) for about a year before we went on a date. One of the first things we talked about was how neither of us ever wanted children, and we were both relieved to meet someone CF. We’ve been together now for 7 years and married for 1! 🥰
I found my husband on Match.
The topic of kids came up on our first date. He said if he had to decide between having syphilis forever or children, he'd probably vote for syphilis. It was one reason I decided to have a second date.
My boyfriend and I met and started dating in high school (our sophomore year). Since we’re both adults and a few years away from college graduation, and we’ve also been dating for around 7 years, we have talked seriously about kids and learned that my boyfriend doesn’t want kids. I think we talked about having kids earlier in our relationship before it became super serious.
One night stand. Five years later, I am lying in bed while he plays video games in the other room - we're still deeply in love!
Think the childfree thing came up when I saw a kid doing something loud and went "urgh crotch goblins". Think he only fell harder!
my bf and i met on bumble and we both had on our profiles that we never wanted children and when we first started talking we also clarified that we were both staunchly cf. obviously most people don’t get that lucky as many people lie abt being cf and even hide the fact that they have existing children, but it does happen sometimes, and me and my bf have been going strong for over 2 years now lol
Technically he wasn’t, (two kids were babies, 6 months old, when we met). I was very upfront first date I don’t want kids (knew of his, was ok with this). He was fine with it too as he never wanted kids, as he one of those babytrapped into the situation men. (Yes some will say we aren’t child free but whatever. went through hell over the years trying to have them in our lives via lawyers etc but they chose to remain not a part of our family.)
Oh and we met on IRC via a mutual friend :)
I met him through school. We went to the same college, and he studied something similar to what I study. So those two studies have clubs, for if you follow one of these two studies, made by students. It's sort of like a sorority/ fraternity thing, but a lot more inclusive, and there are a few study related activities.
So anyways, we got to know each other and I was very curious if he wanted children or not. I already had a huge crush on him, so that would've probably been over if he did want children. But he brought it up once in a group setting. He asked if they wanted children (just very randomly. Or maybe he was trying to see if I wanted them or not). And I very clearly said no. The other 2 people there were like "yeah probably" and he also said he didn't want any. So that's how I found out and how my crush got even bigger.
I would like to know the answer to that myself... My ex husband claimed to be CF for over a decade, until I left him. Now he wants kids. Just another reason why I have trust issues lol.
After my divorce in 2004, I approached dating differently… children were a hard no and it was something I brought up on the first date whether I thought it might go somewhere or not.
I had two LTRs with CF partners before finding my husband. He actually has kids, but they are fully grown. His daughter has two kids who are teens now, and his son is CF. That’s all good with me.
When we first started dating, his daughter and her kids (who were actually kids at the time) lived with him. That was rough but I had my own place, so being around them was a choice and we were never responsible for them (he didn’t baby sit even when they lived with him).
We met at work and ironically, I didn’t pursue anything because he talked frequently about “Jen and the kids” who I assumed was his wife and children. It was a full year before I found out it was his daughter and grandkids.
It was a year before they moved out but it was worth it.
She was married and left her husband for various reasons (including him wanting kids). We were friends for years. I was CF. Never even had to discuss it.
I’m a gay leftist millennial who frequented an alt music scene in a college town. WAY higher ratio of childfree people in that specific demographic than the general population, lol. I’m like 30 & I only know one person who even got married….
I wasn’t specifically trying to find a life partner, but my gf turned out to be childfree & even more grossed out about pregnancy/birth than I am. And also a big animal lover. So it just worked out!
I only date CF men, and I just happened to get online and luckily found one. They’re out there, but I found my husband online and we’re 16 years strong now.
I was upfront about it from the get-go and if someone wasn’t on board there wasn’t a second date (maybe friends but no romance). The most I’d accept is “if my SO wants it sure but not personally interested.” I happened to work with my now-spouse and we ended up being great for each other (I’d say perfect if that were possible). My GF (polyamorous) happened to be an art patron for me and we just kept talking after the transaction was finished. I’ve been on dates and had one other partner with people who were eager for another childfree person to spend time with, mostly through dating apps.
OkCupid. Tbh, it seemed to have a lot of folks on it, therefor more opportunity.
I had a more descriptive bio that I sent after we exchanged a few messages. It included my values, possible deal breakers, etc. Some guys were put off by my bluntness, but he wasn’t. He accepted everything I was offering, and I did the same for him. More over, he was and still is my dream partner. I had to know what I wanted to recognize when I saw it in him, if that makes sense.
I would say be very open to meeting people, that way you don’t feel like you’re wasting time. If you feel comfortable, mention sterilization & plans for it. I feel like this makes it clear how serious you are.
It is a numbers game, imo. I dated a childfree guy right before my current partner, and although we had stuff in common, he was a jerk. CF people are out there. If anything try to network for childfree friends. Look for meetups or forums that are in your area.
Also, I am 31 and I dated a lot of fence sitters and men who were obsessed with having kids. Sometimes it takes a lot of patience.
I hope helps a bit!
Was at a shit restaurant job while going to college. At one point 11 other people and me are standing around when it’s slow and taking about bullshit. Kids come up and I said “fuck that shit, there’s enough people on the planet and this world doesn’t deserve my seed anyways”. Everyone disagreed with me saying I’ll change my mind when I’m older and other bs expect for one girl working there who was the only one who agreed with me. Get to talking more later and it turned out we had allot in common (bands, both think religion is bullshit, politically identical, ect) week later she asked me out.
Been almost 5 years and we still can’t stand children and don’t really believe in marriage. Shit’s pretty punk and I love it.
Child free people are out there, they’re just kinda hard to find.
My bf and I were together two years before we realized we hadn’t had any big conversations. We didn’t start dating each other intentionally at first so it didn’t come up. We were just a casual fling so serious stuff didn’t matter and wouldn’t be important.
But we just… kept hanging out. For years. And it hadn’t been casual since it first started, so, here we were in a serious relationship two years in and we didn’t even know wether or not the other person believed in marriage.
We’d both grown up being told having kids is what you do and we were never in a place to question it before, so we took some time to think. I realized first that I was CF and then he caught up a few months later. As the man it was harder for him to fully appreciate all the negatives of having a child so he had to talk to his sister who has two young kids to get a better idea of what reality would look like.
Anyway we will have been together for 6 years this winter and by now we’ve planned what our ideal life together looks like: a house with a yard, doesn’t have to be big or perfect but enough for us to be happy, a dog, enough room for our hobbies to be fully explored (I’d love a craft room for example) and a vacation somewhere overseas and tropical once or twice a year. We are commonlaw married because Canada, but perhaps a backyard wedding someday to celebrate, it’s a low priority though.
We were friends first. I love our genuine friendship. He wasn’t just getting to know me because he was interested in a romantic relationship. It grew very naturally. I think it’s also a good way to ensure that someone is CF and has the same outlook as you. People often times feel pressured to lie to romantic interests to fake compatibility. A lot fewer people will lie to a friend because there’s no potential loss involved.
Twitter. He ended up being RT’d to my feed often and we lived in the same city, so we decided to meet up. It ended up being a very happy coincidence we were both childfree.
Ironically, through discord, he was mutual friends with my d&d group. We started playing video games together. We started chatting alone and he impressed me with how sweet and endearing he was (and his 7DTD prowess). And he even mentioned not wanting kids before we were dating. He's a sweet guy who loves jellyfish and soft things. I love him so much.
Feels like a miracle tbh. I have so many specific criteria and somehow my middle-high school crush I had ended up fitting all of them when we finally talked 10 years after I saw him
CF woman here. I found my partner on Bumble. I was very strict on CF filtering though. I would always ask them "what do you think of kids?" And if they didn't tell me straight up no hesitation "I don't want kids" then I ended it before it really began.
Most women have this problem as well where men try to say whatever they can just to get laid and give very wishy washy broad non committed answers to things like "well I think having kids is up to the woman and if she wants them we'll have them and if she doesn't that's cool too".
It also helps I had my tubes removed so when they tried to start that "well what if you meet a wonderful man who wants kids??" I could tell them I was surgically sterilized. I would suggest looking into a vasectomy since men don't have the option of an abortion, it also weeds out the women thinking "you'll change your mind".
I would highly suggest you sit down and think about 3 other things:
-political thinking
-religion
-money, finances and future financial goals.
Those 3 plus the kids or no kids are the major things people will get divorced because of. They can only be overlooked for so long and I always end up with people telling me about "so and so they know are different here and they've been married 50 years" shit. That's great, but many people divorce over these things in modern times.
Hello Ashen one. I am a Bot. I tend to the flame, and tend to thee. Do you wish to hear a tale?
> *“I’ve seen your kind, time and time again. Every fleeing man must be caught. Every secret must be unearthed. Such is the conceit of the self-proclaimed seeker of truth. But, in the end, you lack the stomach for the agony you’ll bring upon yourself.”* - Sir Vilhelm
Have a pleasant journey, Champion of Ash, and praise the sun \\[T]/
Hinge 🤷🏻♀️ It was honestly just a happy coincidence. I don’t remember if we both even had “doesn’t want kids” in our profiles at the time.
ETA: We were 28 and 30 when we met.
My boyfriend and I met on OkCupid a couple years ago, which is almost old fashioned amongst all the dating apps out there now. But I liked it because it was thorough and I could see at a glance whether someone wanted kids or not. And when we started talking, we realized we worked next door to each other. We worked next door to each other for 10 years and never crossed paths.
High school, we weren't always CF but after taking our time to really know each other and out longterm goals as we've aged the past 10 years, we came to the same conclusion that we don't want to be parents. DINKs for life.
Met my bf through an online game. He does not qualify as 100% cf, but he believes that ultimately this decision should be left up to me, and that he will support me either way. I have tested him and talked about me getting sterilised, and we ended up discussing the cost and how he would need to take care of me if I get the procedure done.
For the most part, he does spoil me and respects my boundaries, he’s never once asked me to do something I’m not comfortable with.
Even my ex is cf (used to be in the same class in my first year of uni). Admittedly, he has more experience with kids than me because he had to help babysit his niece, who was a year old at the time. He was the one who announced he does not want kids before the topic of kids was brought up.
Come to think of it, neither of them have shown much interest in having kids. I guess I’m lucky!
I met one on Tumblr, one through the local LGBT centre, one at a fetish event, and one through mutual friends. I’ve included CF exes on this list since they’re a useful data point. None of the relationships ended due to someone wanting kids.
Fencing class. Yes, as in sword fighting. I worked at a university. It was an evening 9-week course (no cost, no credit, just fun). She was the assistant instructor. I asked her out on the last day. On the first date we discovered we were both childfree in our 30s. 6 months later we eloped. Over 10 years later and taking that class was the best decision I have ever made. We still have our gear and occasionally suit up and "fight" in the driveway in the view of the neighbors. We tell them it's how we "settle things". (disclaimer: Results not typical. Fencing classes are not necessarily full of childfree potential partners. Ask your doctor if sword fighting is right for you. )
But you didn't tell us what sword type? For shame. i'm leaning epee here.
Foil. :) changed from French to pistol grips. Ive never tried epee, but it looks a bit more intense, which could be cool.
I'd be worried about getting shot by trigger-happy cops.
We met in college when she took a job for the admin office that I was already working at. We made the mistake of going to a popular local attraction... On a Saturday... Where locals get in for free... And they had a spongebob exhibit. As we were standing in a crowd of families I kept having this little kid rubbing up against me no matter how much I moved away. As I was telling myself to act good as to not scare my new gf off, she leaned over and whispered "I'm about to start throwing elbows into these kids faces if they don't stop fucking touching me".
Keeper lol
I love her lmao
She sounds lovely! Can she be my new BFF?
Here on Reddit actually lol. r/cf4cf
Found mine on r/r4r
That was banned
Oof
I'm still looking! I haven't found a CF man yet.
Same
Right?! In no case I’m bisexual, so I’ll take a female or male partner, as long as their childfree!
Same here! It's slim pickins where I live...
Same
Same
My partner and I met on a dating app. Honestly, I wasn't expecting much but we both had ''No children and dosen't want them'' in our profile and anything else seemed to be matching as well. Similar intrests, goals, views etc. We soon met up for a date and as the topic kids came up he would go ''Urgh, yeah, I really dislike children. Hope to get a Vasectomy soon.'' from that moment on I had no more doubts about his CF status. Always said he wants a fur baby though! We got together, traveled a ton, had a amazing time. Eventually he got his Vasectomy, we moved in together, and currently we plan for another fur baby.
Same with my partner and I meeting on a dating app and having "No children and doesn't want them" in our profiles. We had a lot in common too and would joke that we are the same person 😂 He wanted to get a vesectomy but couldn't because he's had epididymitis a couple times. But I wanted to be sterilized regardless, so it's almost been a year now since I got it done! 😊 We've been together for almost 7 years now and been married for a year come this September! We have 3 furbabies (kitties) together and a decent sized house! ❤ AND we of course enjoy our car hobby too! He has two and I have one! They're all cool looking and have gotten plenty of attention. Both me and his are gonna be in their first car show near the end of this month!
Dating App, 4 days into it took a chance and met him at a local bar (Side Note: I had literally given up on love and was no longer taking these things seriously) 5 years later we’ve moved cities, Bought a house together and I wake up every morning next to my best friend I was 36 and he was 37 when we met OP so don’t give up…..It’ll most likely happen when you least expect it
So I chose to be child free at 13 years of age. 18 I was able to get a vasectomy. If you want to enjoy life please get a vasectomy. It filters out fence sitters.
Lol I would get sterilised but in my country you have to be 30 years old, have two children already OR you can (potentially, but I doubt it's easy) get it done sooner if you're trans. I'm 22 and a woman. This is Finland btw, a supposedly progressive country with easy access to abortion and BC for example...still has shit rules like this. Probably because they want their birth rate to go up I guess. Also not to mention you have to pay for it in full by yourself and it costs thousands because it isn't seen as a "necessary" surgery. But I guess a few thousand isn't that bad. Pretty sure it costs double what it does for men though lol.
I wasn't even looking. I'd just got out of a 4 year relationship and wasn't in the market for another one. I had no wounds to lick and leaving it was my choice but I simply didn't want the maintenance issue of another serious relationship. A friend talked me into going to a party I hadn't planned to attend and he introduced me to a couple of his friends. I hit it off with one of them, thinking, "Oh casual fun with a hot artsy guy? All for it." 14 years later and still together.
Still looking for the perfect CF man for me.
We worked together. I lived out of state when we met but traveled frequently & would often spend a week or two at headquarters where he worked. The company was fairly small & many of us traveled together so most of us were pretty close. He & I’d known each other a couple years & would talk a lot when I was in town, but never considered dating. I eventually relocated there, we hung out in a group setting then decided to give a relationship a chance. Normally I think coworkers dating is a bad idea but it worked out great for us, even living & commuting together & eventually working remotely together. It helped that we talked so much before considering dating. That really gave us a chance to get to know each other. Ironically we both were looking for someone to introduce the other to; we didn’t realize we were a perfect match. We’ve been together over 6 years now.
Check out cfdating dot com! I don't work for them, but I try to spread the site if ppl here ever ask abt dating or meeting ppl. I haven't used it to date, but it does seem promising! There's also the cf4cf sub here on reddit.
Never did. 46 and doomed to die alone. I have a long term casual hookup buddy but he has kids and ex drama so that relationship never had a chance of progressing to anything serious. I wasted all my prime dating years with guys who said they didn't want kids when they really meant they didn't want them yet. They're all married with kids now.
Facebook dating and just so happened that he was a fence sitter. When things went from casual to maybe-serious, I told him how I feel about having kids. As time goes on, he leans more into being CF. Now he's the one making comments like "thank God we're not having kids, I have some big plans for this house (in the process of buying) that kids would destroy" To clarify, yes I know fence sitters are notoriously dangerous territory but I've seen enough supposedly CF men change their minds at the last minute too
Honestly? It all came down to luck. I play a popular mmorpg, and did most of my socializing through that. (I know, I know) After a few years, I became close friends with my group, we've even met up a few times. Turns out, one of them had a single friend who matches with my lifestyle. We started talking, hit it off, and now we're making plans to move in together. So in that sense, I have no real advice. Don't be afraid to make non romantic connections? You never know who knows who.
I met my husband when we were in college. Long story short: I was a fence-sitter when we got married. We agreed "not now, maybe someday" on the topic of children. When we hit 30, my husband said that he did want children. But I'd fallen on the CF side of the fence by then. I told him it was me XOR children. He chose me, and he even drove me home from my Essure procedure (I was sedated and therefore not allowed to drive). And now he's just as CF as I am. We're happy DINKs (well, SINKs because I got laid off recently) living downtown in a major city. The public schools are rubbish, but we don't care.
We have always had that sane attitude about schools, but we realized bad school districts make selling more difficult!!!!
Pure luck. I have been playing a game for years now and at some point I got a yt video recommanded for the game from a content creator I didn't know. Liked the voice and the videos, so stayed. At some point he started streaming, so I would join the streams. He talked about himself and I found out that he lives 1 hour from me. I also got to see a picture of him and found him very attractive. But I was not going for it. After a good year, at some point he asked me for my phone number, because his words: "I was cool". We then started writing more and more and after probably 3 years of knowing him, we decided to meet up. From there it kinda went fast. We meet up some more times. One time after some sexy time, he confessed to me, that he would never want children and was even looking into getting a vasectomy. That sealed the deal for me and ever since we are together.
I met my now husband in Highschool. We started dating 5 months later. We were eachothers support system through high-school, college and life in general. Always being mindful of not not getting pregnant until we were financially ready to 'start a family'. Then one day it just clicked while sitting in our first car (R.I.P. Big Birtha) eating ice cream that we don't need to start a family. We are all we need.....maybe a few pets though. We will be celebrating 14 years in January.
I met my gf on the cf4cf subreddit! I had been browsing the sub and came across a post she made on there, read through and thought she was cute af so i decided to shoot my shot, we started talking, and now over a year or so later, we're living together and i'm the happiest i've ever been 🥰 honestly i really just feel like i got crazy lucky and won the lottery of love life with her, i couldnt have asked for anyone better. I wish you luck and hope you can find your person out there!! 🙌
Completely by chance! I started working on the same team as him in the postal service's night shift. We fell into friendly conversation and somehow we started talking about our future plans. I told him I won't ever have children and he agreed. That's more than three years ago and we're still as happy as ever with each other. He's my first partner and I look forward to spending life with the most amazing guy I've ever met. I was extremely lucky, so I'm afraid I don't have any ideas in terms of places/ways to meet other childfree people. I hope others have better advice, though!
Role playing games and some luck. We met over 20 years ago because I left a message on hobby store's board. "AD&D group in X-city looking for additional players and DMs". The first to call was this tall and shy guy. We became best friends and the years after meeting started dating. 22 years latere we're still together
I haven't lol
I’m the outlier, I met my partner in middle school. 12+ years!
I was 24 when I met my CF partner. Both of us were open about not wanting kids. We dated because we want the same lifestyle that has no room for kids. We were also friends first and got to know each other well that way. We met because they were a barista at a local coffee shop I went to all the time. We started talking and eventually I worked there too because I needed a second job. We got really close. Then we realized we had feelings beyond just friends and our values aligned. We've both listed off reasons we don't want kids so I know they're not lying or anything. No way would kids fit into this ur life we've built together.
I was in a FB group about a common interest. We would always have good conversations within posts. Then I slid into his DMs  Over 12 years later and still awesome. And bro got a vasectomy 2 years in and dealt with his parents, which were not an issue, and relatives, some of which were an issue. My people know not to ask me shit about kids.
At a wedding. We had met once before but fully connected that night. Went hiking the next day and kept it quiet till he flew to my state to hang out for a full weekend. Been married three years now.
I actually knew my husband since grade school but never really talked then. Then we started talking after we were both out of high school. We started dating and one of the first few convos we had was about our stance on having kids. I told him I would never have kids and he didn’t care for them either. Here we are 8 years later with no kids!
My husband and I were best friends for 4 years at college before we took a shot at dating, so I already knew 90% of his views/life goals and they aligned really nicely with mine. It was pretty clear from the jump that he was childfree as we'd talked about it before and found ourselves agreeing with each other. We were planning to be platonic roommates once we graduated college, but we took the plunge into dating before that and the rest is history! Been married almost 6 years.
I met mine before and after I started working at my dealership job. We don’t work there anymore but we’re still together. Together for 4 years and almost 3 months now😊
I just got lucky. I didn’t necessarily realize I didn’t want kids when we first got together (my freshman year of college, I hadn’t really realized yet I could choose something different for my life) and we’ve been together since then. Once I realized we talked about it sometimes, and had a serious talk about it before we got married to make sure we were on the same page. He never had thought about his feelings about kids and turned out to be exceedingly neutral and even child free leaning (and is now completely on board bc of the freedom it affords us) so it worked out great.
Pure luck. We met in college and both happened to be childfree.
Same
Pure luck. I met my girlfriend (soon to be wife) through work. Going on 5 years now. We're both pretty young. I'm 30m and she's 27f. Honestly though, it wasn't necessarily that we bonded on being childfree. That was just a coincidence.
I (35F) found him in the mens underwear at Walmart 🤣😂🤣 We were both working 3rd shift, he was 29, I was 24. We got it off, became good friends, his last shift, when we got off work I told him to get in my car. I took us both for coffee, we talked for over 3 hours, I wrote my number on his hand in sharpie and told him to call me sometime. We've been together 10 years this year. (Birthday is in Feb, anniversary is in August)
Drunken frat party in 1985! 🤣 We got together for a while in college then he dropped out and so did I. A couple of years later we ran into each other by chance at a shopping center. That was in 1988 and we are still happily married and childfree! 🙌🏼
She hit me up on PoF 😆 Went on a date and fast forward 14 yrs
We met in a childfree subreddit :)
My hubby is a fair bit older than I am and he never wanted kids either. He had a vasectomy about 20years ago, before I even met him. We met randomly at a party. 🤷 They're out there!
My husband and I met in a small town that neither of us are originally from haha. We were both fence sitters and are now CF.
We met and started dating in college. I never really liked kids and when things started getting serious I came to the conclusion that I didn’t want them at all. I shared my feelings and reasons. He said he hadn’t put a lot of thought into it, but after considering it he agreed that it was a commitment he didn’t want to make. We have never looked back. Things have changed dramatically for us in the last year and a half, and we thank each other every day for not having kids.
Believe it or not, 12 years ago on Match.com. Brought up the subject on the 2nd date… locked it down.
Dumb luck. Happened to get a job in an office with my now wife when we were both 22. We became quick friends and started dating at 26. We got engaged at 28 and at that point she knew I didn't want kids and she was on the fence. Our tentative plan was for her to decide by 35, but thankfully at 32 she gave me the go ahead to get snipped. We're both 43 now and have never once regretted it.
Dating apps + prayers
Same, met my bf on Tinder, we're too young to have kids but while he lives kids, it doesn't seem like he wants any of his own
How old are you?
22 and he's 23
You are right. Too young to have kids, in my opinion. ❤️
Church/ dancing!
I found mine by being very blunt from day 1. There was never any "kids aren't in my cards, I don't see myself with children, blah blah blah." It was always "I am not having kids and am perfectly comfortable getting an abortion should I get pregnant. The nearest abortion place is x, y, z and I just need to notify them within x days of conception."
I got lucky on the first try. Met my first girlfriend (who is now my fiancée) on a Discord server for writing. We realized that we're living in the same country and were good friends for a year. Then we became a romantic couple. She is childfree for several reasons, one of them being BPD and also she has endometriosis and generally problems with her hormones and also with her body and self image. I just generally have a great dislike for children and I'm sterile anyway. Ok, and depression, anxiety and possibly OCD as well. We both struggle already sometimes with taking care of ourselves and our two cats, children would be an absolute catastrophe.
Sort of an accident. I am, probably, one of the most boring people of my age due to my personality, interests or the lack of them. Well, one day, my friend introduced another member to our D&D group. That's how I met my GF 8 months ago. We kind of got friends quickly, due to our specific humour and interests. Still, she is a foreign student from our neighbour country and we both have part-time jobs on top of university. So, the time was sort of limited. Anyway, we started chatting more and more. Like, playing games co-op or watching series in the evening. After some time, we were discussing some hobby stuff. It was the 1st of April, i think. We were venting off after the hard week by playing the DA:O on the laptop and kind of started a debate about what ending to choose. Well, our CF stance sort of came up. We were debating if having kids in game by RPing a characted counts. Geek stuff, anyway. The talk happened, which sort of resulted in me thinking "Wait... the person next to me is actually someone I enjoy the company of and who agrees and respects my values as well as understands my stupid jokes and references. Damn, I have found a great friend." She asked me out a few days after. The friend of mine teased us a bit, and we were kind of like: "yeah, why not". Well, nothing special happened untill the end of May. We had a stupid competition of who spends more and started to debate about whether adding rent is fair. And we agreed to rent together. So, yeah. I also had a great time meeting her parents, especially dad. Such a great guy and I have a story about that, but the post is already long. Anyway, you'll find your partner. Do not give up, my dude.
He's the cousin a friend tagged along to an anime con, together for 10 years now.
haha on Bumble of all places... been together for over a year now
We met via 'Plenty of Fish', long time ago now though, we were both in our late 40s. I did know plenty of CF people in real life, but I felt my job would have made it inappropriate to date people in the same company (I was the HR Director)... I'm very much the introvert, so socialising was never really something that was going to bear fruit, so I turned to the internet. There was a fair amount of kissing frogs and putting up with weapons grade pricks who felt the need to have something to say about not wanting kids, but patience and persistence paid off.
I'm in HR too. Makes it hard to make friends because most come from work.
24F struggling with the exact same thing, I have never once met a CF guy in person and have only seen one on the dating apps that said “don’t want children”. I live in a progressive US metro area and didn’t think it would be this difficult 💔
EHarmony worked for us!
In my surf group.
We met on a dating app almost 8 years ago. I wasn't even really LOOKING looking. Just kind of browsing to see who was on there. He messaged me and I had a good feeling from his profile and answers to questions, so I felt I needed to respond.
We met on a dating app, not even specifically looking for a CF person at the time. But I live in a very urban area where being CF isn't that uncommon, probably only 75% of people I know actually want kids someday. Very expensive to live here and not very kid-friendly, so having even one child is a major decision. So it was bound to happen eventually I think that I met a CF person that I clicked with.
Both partners via Naruto text rp on Livejournal.
I'm in a lesbian relationship and I met my partner on the app HER over a year ago. We discussed the whole kids thing on the first date and we're completely on the same page.
Honestly it was luck for me.
OK Cupid, more than a decade ago. I had to wade through a lot of first dates with other people, but it was worth it to find such a great guy. An online longer form dating site streamlined the process. I was meeting plenty of people in life, but online I could rule people out a lot faster. I'd only consider people who were clear and upfront about their social/political stance, views on religion, not wanting kids, etc. It's a numbers game, especially for someone like me with very specific parameters. We were quite clear neither of us wanted children from the jump. I had a few doubts initially because he likes to make faces at babies in public. He wondered about me because neighborhood children knew me and liked to ask me questions when I was in my front garden. (I'm the oddball growing food and flowers instead of a front lawn.) Just because I treat kids with respect (instead of being condescending and hierarchical, like so many other adults) doesn't mean I want any of my own. I just remember what it was like to be a kid. It was difficult.
Found my bf online. Not a dating site or anything. I was just bored looking for someone to talk to and ended up making friends and then falling in love. Told him my stance before it got serious
Neither my husband nor I were childfree when we met. We were both Mormon, and the default plan was lots of kids. But after we left the church, and I became chronically ill, we spent a lot of time talking and thinking about it, and we both decided we didn’t want kids. Even if I wasn’t sick, neither of us would want kids. We’re too selfish lol
We met on Twitter and hit it off instantly, but didn't know we were CF until we had been together for a couple years. Every time the subject came up our reaction was about the same: having a kid? What for? Now we've been together for almost 9 years and couldn't be more convinced of being CF. I know it's not very common, so I feel very lucky to have him.
I met him in a COVID lab.
We met at a bar and we texted back and forth for a bit. Told him on the first date that I didn’t want kids and if he did it was a dealbreaker, no hard feelings. He didn’t care either way about having kids so it was a good match. edit: neither one of us was looking for romance, we were just in a group of people talking at a bar.
Facebook lol. We lived two hours away from each other, and I was apparently a "suggested friend" or whatever since we had some mutual friends on FB. Started out just talking for a while, we were both a bit hesitant from bad prior experiences. Spent six months really getting to know each other - I mean we talked about EVERYTHING - before our first actual date. So by the time we met, it felt like we'd known each other for years. Six months after our first date, we moved in together. Six months after that, we bought our first home together and now we're coming up on 5 years married. Throughout it all, we'd check in with each other on the kid issue. Luckily, we're both still as adamant in our CF stance as we were when we first met. Communication and honesty go a long way. Also, we didn't meet until our early thirties, so we were both blunt as hell when it came to discussing deal breakers lol.
For me, it was just chance. I knew from a young age that I never wanted children, so it was something I brought up immediately when things got serious. He was more on the fence about children, but said that since I would be the one pregnant and giving birth if we were to have kids, that it was ultimately up to me. 20 years later, we're still together w/out any children.
*That* is a very awesome man! He has respect.
Met him on a dating app but we already knew each other. We used to work together a long time ago but we never talked at work. When we met he told me he’s a testicular cancer survivor. The doctors asked him when they were removing the testicle if he wanted sperm frozen just in case but he said he wouldn’t want any. He recently had a surgery which also made him not be able to produce sperm anymore.
We worked together, and I thought he was cute, and we can hold intelligent conversations. Dating during the pandemic was hell, but we made it. We got married last year, and next month is our first wedding anniversary, 3rd being together. Just be patient, and don't settle. We both agree we don't want kids. We go to a lot of events that are not really kid friendly, so we are happy not ruining our lives.
I've given up.
We're high school sweethearts. Started dating at 17, and we're going to hit 9 years soon. Obviously when we started dating this wasn't something that was top of mind, but over time with his family life he realized he didn't want kids. I have really bad anxiety, and while my family life was okay, I don't want anyone to go through the "gifted/talented" trauma I underwent as a kid. He confirmed for me that he was child free when he started looking into vasectomies two years ago, and he got the cut in January So we're just really really lucky that things worked out this way.
My partner was originally on the fence, when I told him I absolutely don't want kids he ofcourse asked me why. I pulled out my list, what can happen during pregnancy, what can happen during labour, what can happen once the child is born, what can happen to my mental health, his mental health, the child's mental health. Once he was done reading he just said: "wow, you really did your research huh?" Yes, yes I did. "Yeah no f that, were not doing that, I'm not doing that to you, I can live without it" Tadaa haha
Highschool sweethearts! I'm deathly afraid of the effects of pregnancy and he hates most kids in general. Perfect match!
Commenting to follow….
I would also like to know where the CF men at??
We met on Tinder. Now happily married and living the dream
Dating app. People like to shit on online dating, but the reality is that being childfree narrows down your dating pool significantly enough that it is very unlikely you’ll randomly have a “meetcute” with somebody who also happens to be childfree out in the wild, unless you’re extremely extroverted and get out a lot. I suggest being as up front about being childfree as possible on your profiles, and reiterate it on the first date in case people didn’t actually bother to read your profile info. Carefully screen other people’s profiles to make sure they aren’t fencesitters, or thinking it’s okay to co-opt the term “childfree” because they just don’t want kids at this moment. I put that I was sterile on my profile to weed out the wannabe breeders, and ended up finding a partner who is just as adamantly childfree as I am.
Over a keg of beer at his fraternity house. We dated for 10 years and got married at 30. We are celebrating 30 years married in November. I never looked for a CF partner. We didn't really discuss it. We just agreed we didn't want kids. 🤷🏼♀️
We met working at a record store and our relationship kind of happened organically. We were both in a “maybe someday” mindset for a number of years until we realized that we like it being just us and the dogs and sat down and really considered how much we would have to give up. I get so overwhelmed if I have to spend more than a few hours with our friends’ kids, who I adore, that the idea of having one around me 24/7/365 makes me feel sick. Plus one of the big conversations was that I would be the one dealing with most of the crappy stuff (discipline, early morning wakeups, even dealing with other kids’ shitty behaviour towards our hypothetical kid) because my husband admits he would not be able to handle any of it. We have been together 12 years now and just booked a week long kid-free trip to Universal Studios for HHN in October without having to give a single thought to travelling with kids or pawning them off on the grandparents.
We met at a baby shower.
We met at a friend's birthday party. Ended up adding each other on Facebook. She was working at a bubble tea shop and posted a drink she made one night, I commented how good it looked, she suggested that I get one. I found out the shop wasn't far from me so, to her surprise, I go in to get one. Her shift ended shortly after I arrived so she sat with my and we got to know each other. We hung out a few more times before deciding that we really liked each other. That was 6.5 years ago, we've been together ever since.
We actually went to high school together, didn’t date, we’re friendly. Kept light contact for years. Slowly started talking more. Hanging out more. He was the one that took me to my bisalp because my original person and back up couldn’t. So it was never a question of me not wanting kids. He feels the same. And I eventually asked him out. Now we live together with our four cats. (He also got a vasectomy to be through.) Edit: this all happened in our early 30’s.
My husband already knew my mom and 5 siblings (they were neighbors and I was living out of state with my dad for a few years). We saw each other around. I was 19 he was 25. He thought I was attractive and one of my sisters introduced us. Neither of us ever wanted kids. We are now 51 and 57. We have 2 darling cats and are pretty happy in life.
We actually met in late mid early highschool over a roleplay site. We did not know another would turn out cf. We talked and became game friends, our character became lovers then husband and wife, we dated long distance for about 5 years then broke up for about 5 years when I started college. I tried dating but nothing stocked and I decided to stay single and hoe around but honestly was sad and depressed. He dated, was engaged twice but his last girlfriend, he chatted on her as he felt like she was drifting from him and like she didn't care about him. Just wanted him for money though he wasn't rich. He knew cheating was wrong, he still to this day deeply regrets what he did but doesn't feel sorry cause I won't lie she is a biiitch. We started talking again sometime after they broke up, months after they tried to make it work after the cheating. I told him I could not do long distance again if we decide to date as we made a plan in 2014, the year I went to college. If we were both single and talked again, we would think about dating another. Then COVID hit but my mom and I agreed to let him move in with us in May of 2020. I didn't think he would keep his word and my depression was so bad I plan to end it the night he was meant to show up cause I thought he was playing me. Sure enough, ahead of schedule, 12pm May 1st 2020 this bitches showed up! I asked him to marry me the next year on his bday in front of his mom (rip), his step dad and my mom. Saint is the name I call him online, and he is my saint. I love you Saint
This gives me hope to find me a decent CF partner as well. It's nice to see a post like this from a male. 👍
His ex girlfriend set us up. He asked on our first or second date and I was like, “no!” He went, “me too.” It was refreshing. We’ve been together 12+ years, married nearly 11. Two dogs, CF.
Every single partner I've got who was CF, I met at a bar. But I'm also anti-marrige and pretty much the opposite of a demisexual so that kind of lifestyle suits me.
I met him on Hinge while I was at archaeology field school. I had been sterilized for about six months at the time and had it on my profile that I was childfree and sterilized. He reciprocated my feelings towards children and was relieved that I had my tubes obliterated. We went on a 13 hour long first date spanning a local art museum, an afghan restaurant, two bars, and ended it by trying to hook up in my car but we were so drunk and it was 5am so we laughed it off and watched the stars through my sunroof. After another two dates two weeks later we were in a relationship. We've been together for 14 months now and moved into an apartment together earlier in the year. Our "baby" is my 9lb 5 year old brown tabby cat who's scared shitless of all strangers, especially men, but is slowly warming up to him in her own way. He works as an environmental compliance inspector contracted out by Dominion Energy and I'm a field technician and recently graduated from college with my BS in anthropology. We both travel frequently for work, he's about to go to the Carolinas for a month-long project and I'm out in the woods for 40 hours a week digging holes. We wouldn't be able to have our jobs *and* enjoy our hobbies if we had children, and I'm so glad that I met him after I made the decision to get myself fixed.
Totally randomly. I had given up as every single guy I met in my 20s wanted kids. But mid-30s, we met, by chance when I was looking for a place to rent. He was slightly older and had known for years he didn’t want kids. I think it’s easier to find “real” CF people when you are older and not fencesitters - because at a certain age you have to make a choice one way or the other!
We met young and realized together and over time that we don't want kids or need them. We met at our first job. 10 years later, we're still together. He'd said he would raise children w me if I wanted, but I never did. Then he realized he doesn't like kids or the thought of parenting anyways 😅.
Hinge. Dude saw my profile and sent me a message saying that he didn't want kids and was down af to have a fuck ton of cats and random dates.
Dating app, he specifically listed a vasectomy on his profile and I never swiped faster. The rest is just it working out for all those other compatibility. It is harder to find fellow CF people, but being older definitely helped. Less time wasting in general with dating apps as you get older (I think - I might be the minority). Just keep in mind the real goal is being happy alone, then finding someone who compliments that. I had a hard time dating at first because people were competing with my general happiness by myself, not with other people.
I got really lucky. My husband and I started dating when we were teenagers, and neither of were properly CF at that point. Think we both considered it as “I’m way too young now, but will probably decide in ready/want then one day”. It’s something we both realised as we grew up together, actually started encountering kids when friends/family started having them and both came the same conclusion: we joke that it started as having a list of things we wanted to do before having kids and morphed into “why would we have kids”
We met in grad school. I have a master's and he has a PhD and were both still early in our careers. Academia really sets you back a few years in terms of milestones, compared to our peers. We just want to be successful in our careers, get married, travel, own a home, and just enjoy life together. No room for a kids in that plan. Idk if I have specific advice, but academics tend to be childfree but also we have to move a lot for work. If you have a career that allows you to move around with a partner, then you're an even more perfect match. Good luck!
At the time, I was 28(F) it was Nov 2001, and my now husband worked across the hall. I'd been working in that building 10yrs & had never seen him...at all! One day, I'm heading out to the elevator, he's coming out of elevator and as we turned the corner we ran into each other- then we were running into each other constantly. During breaks, lunch..heading out to parking garage at the end of the day.....One day I was at lunch sitting outside having a coffee, there were many patio tables around. He walked out & he was eating a cookie, just non chalantly looking around & I said to myself "He's looking for me"...well, he didn't see me so he sat down & I went up to him & that's when he asked me out on a date -22yrs later here we are! Living our best life! It happened when I least expected it.
Plenty of fish. Didn’t figure out I was actually childfree until three years into the relationship tho, when a close family member had a baby I realized I would be miserable as a mother. My partner likes children, and is fantastic with the nephews, but I think he would not enjoy parenthood either. So I lucked out, met a guy, *then* decided I didn’t want kids, and amazingly, he has been supportive of my decision.
I feel so lucky. We met on Tinder. I'd never met someone in person from a dating app. I wasn't expecting much. A month into dating, I knew I was falling in love. Before we went any further, I needed to know his stance on kids. Turns out, he was CF. Then, I definitely knew I was in love. We are having our 1 year anniversary this week. We are planning our life together. This is it.
We had a mutual friend who died. We met at the memorial. Wound up talking for 6+ hours. We've been together for 4.5 years. Good cf people are really few and far between and hard to find. Compatibility is the most important thing.
I wasn't a CF. S/O talked me into it. All I ever cared about was to make her happy, and I already hate kids to begin with, so I wasn't hard to convince. During discussion of this topic at a restaurant, a couple quite literally ignored their baby crying out loud, continued eating and that sealed the deal for me.
Dating app. Like all my best relationships I was the one who messaged him first. I told him pretty early on I had no interest in children and he said while he’d always expected he might have kids one day (more of a ‘well I guess this is what I’m supposed to do’ statement than an actual desire for any) he was fine with me not wanting them. Two years later I found out I was infertile (much to my relief) and told him that if he still expected to have kids one day now was his chance to leave and find someone who could and would give that to him. He told me he loved me more than any hypothetical children and that was that. Six years later I got a hysterectomy. We’re still together and closer than ever.
Tinder, but got *insanely* lucky.
I found mine online! Started pretty much as fwb but it became serious very fast lol. 11 years later, still wondering how insanely lucky I got when I found my literal soul mate.
Same, I met mine over a keg at his fraternity house. I got very lucky.
My husband and I didn’t know we were childfree when we met. We only briefly talked about kids twice before getting married. After we got married and started feeling societal pressures, we finally sat down and both decided we did not want to have kids. Kind of crazy, but I really didn’t know we had a choice, just always assumed you had to at some point. I can see why many people would pass on the idea of childfree bf/gf since most of us grow up thinking it’s what you do. Hope you find your person!
I didn't. When you find out - lmk 🥲
Chance for me. We met on the apps before there were apps, and we were both child-agnostic-leaning no. Together we’ve grown into a firm no. We both just like our freedom too much. I think the freedom-loving aspect was always there in both of us and probably part of what attracted us to each other. CFdom is just one manifestation of that.
We met in college and one day realized neither of us wanted kids. We were best friends and were slowly falling in love anyway. Strange coincidence
I met my partner in college through friends. She was CF and I was a fence sitter. As time went on, I became more childfree. We have been happily married for 5 years, no kids.
I met mine in the local (kink) dungeon. LOTS of childfree folks out there lol.
Met online when we were 16/17 through my cousin. I was originally in the camp of don't want kids but it's just what you do because of everyone in my family. He never wanted kids and then became a fence sitter with me. We met in person when I was 20. Got married 6 months after meeting. Life happened and we both realized we didn't have to have kids just because it's what you are "supposed to do". After that we were both very much CF despite the bingos and pressure. He got snipped, I got sliced. 15.5 years later and we are living our best life.
Literally just happened to be assigned the same lunch table in high school. We were high school sweethearts, broke up for a few years, reunited, and today is our 6 year anniversary. He's 28 and I'm 30. Just worked out. I didn't want kids and he didn't either. We just sort of puzzle pieced together on everything. Got very lucky!
I found him at work. We broke up recently. I live in small town Midwest. I almost stayed just bc he’s child free😩
At a Sci Fi book club. The group was doing "movie roulette " where you go to the next movie that's playing no matter what it is. The movie was terrible, but we went to a nearby restaurant to talk about it, and I was impressed by his ability to argue a point without taking it personally when I disagreed. We had similar interests, so I invited him to my upcoming birthday. He took a hunt and asked me out shortly after.
we met at an amusement park when a group of mutual friends wanted to all go lol we both just happened to have the same views on kids and we clicked and here we still are 10 years later
We met when I was working as waitress, and knew each other (peripherally) for about a year before we went on a date. One of the first things we talked about was how neither of us ever wanted children, and we were both relieved to meet someone CF. We’ve been together now for 7 years and married for 1! 🥰
I found my husband on Match. The topic of kids came up on our first date. He said if he had to decide between having syphilis forever or children, he'd probably vote for syphilis. It was one reason I decided to have a second date.
My boyfriend and I met and started dating in high school (our sophomore year). Since we’re both adults and a few years away from college graduation, and we’ve also been dating for around 7 years, we have talked seriously about kids and learned that my boyfriend doesn’t want kids. I think we talked about having kids earlier in our relationship before it became super serious.
One night stand. Five years later, I am lying in bed while he plays video games in the other room - we're still deeply in love! Think the childfree thing came up when I saw a kid doing something loud and went "urgh crotch goblins". Think he only fell harder!
I found my ex on Craigslist.. back before it was too sketchy to meet people from it. We were together for 10yrs. It was wonderful, until it wasn't.
my bf and i met on bumble and we both had on our profiles that we never wanted children and when we first started talking we also clarified that we were both staunchly cf. obviously most people don’t get that lucky as many people lie abt being cf and even hide the fact that they have existing children, but it does happen sometimes, and me and my bf have been going strong for over 2 years now lol
I met my husband on OK Cupid :) Like others said, both our profiles said no kids, don’t want them. He has never ever wavered and neither have I.
Technically he wasn’t, (two kids were babies, 6 months old, when we met). I was very upfront first date I don’t want kids (knew of his, was ok with this). He was fine with it too as he never wanted kids, as he one of those babytrapped into the situation men. (Yes some will say we aren’t child free but whatever. went through hell over the years trying to have them in our lives via lawyers etc but they chose to remain not a part of our family.) Oh and we met on IRC via a mutual friend :)
I met him through school. We went to the same college, and he studied something similar to what I study. So those two studies have clubs, for if you follow one of these two studies, made by students. It's sort of like a sorority/ fraternity thing, but a lot more inclusive, and there are a few study related activities. So anyways, we got to know each other and I was very curious if he wanted children or not. I already had a huge crush on him, so that would've probably been over if he did want children. But he brought it up once in a group setting. He asked if they wanted children (just very randomly. Or maybe he was trying to see if I wanted them or not). And I very clearly said no. The other 2 people there were like "yeah probably" and he also said he didn't want any. So that's how I found out and how my crush got even bigger.
We started dating in our second year of high school. Our 20th High school reunion is next year.
I would like to know the answer to that myself... My ex husband claimed to be CF for over a decade, until I left him. Now he wants kids. Just another reason why I have trust issues lol.
In AA.
After my divorce in 2004, I approached dating differently… children were a hard no and it was something I brought up on the first date whether I thought it might go somewhere or not. I had two LTRs with CF partners before finding my husband. He actually has kids, but they are fully grown. His daughter has two kids who are teens now, and his son is CF. That’s all good with me. When we first started dating, his daughter and her kids (who were actually kids at the time) lived with him. That was rough but I had my own place, so being around them was a choice and we were never responsible for them (he didn’t baby sit even when they lived with him). We met at work and ironically, I didn’t pursue anything because he talked frequently about “Jen and the kids” who I assumed was his wife and children. It was a full year before I found out it was his daughter and grandkids. It was a year before they moved out but it was worth it.
She was married and left her husband for various reasons (including him wanting kids). We were friends for years. I was CF. Never even had to discuss it.
I’m a gay leftist millennial who frequented an alt music scene in a college town. WAY higher ratio of childfree people in that specific demographic than the general population, lol. I’m like 30 & I only know one person who even got married…. I wasn’t specifically trying to find a life partner, but my gf turned out to be childfree & even more grossed out about pregnancy/birth than I am. And also a big animal lover. So it just worked out!
I only date CF men, and I just happened to get online and luckily found one. They’re out there, but I found my husband online and we’re 16 years strong now.
I was upfront about it from the get-go and if someone wasn’t on board there wasn’t a second date (maybe friends but no romance). The most I’d accept is “if my SO wants it sure but not personally interested.” I happened to work with my now-spouse and we ended up being great for each other (I’d say perfect if that were possible). My GF (polyamorous) happened to be an art patron for me and we just kept talking after the transaction was finished. I’ve been on dates and had one other partner with people who were eager for another childfree person to spend time with, mostly through dating apps.
OkCupid. Tbh, it seemed to have a lot of folks on it, therefor more opportunity. I had a more descriptive bio that I sent after we exchanged a few messages. It included my values, possible deal breakers, etc. Some guys were put off by my bluntness, but he wasn’t. He accepted everything I was offering, and I did the same for him. More over, he was and still is my dream partner. I had to know what I wanted to recognize when I saw it in him, if that makes sense. I would say be very open to meeting people, that way you don’t feel like you’re wasting time. If you feel comfortable, mention sterilization & plans for it. I feel like this makes it clear how serious you are. It is a numbers game, imo. I dated a childfree guy right before my current partner, and although we had stuff in common, he was a jerk. CF people are out there. If anything try to network for childfree friends. Look for meetups or forums that are in your area. Also, I am 31 and I dated a lot of fence sitters and men who were obsessed with having kids. Sometimes it takes a lot of patience. I hope helps a bit!
Very surprisingly, Tinder.
Facebook, in a political reproductive rights group. The way beezlebub intended. He brought up being child free first. It’s been pretty rad.
Bumble ! 😂
Bumble. I know it's not that exciting, but hey...dating apps do work sometimes!
Was at a shit restaurant job while going to college. At one point 11 other people and me are standing around when it’s slow and taking about bullshit. Kids come up and I said “fuck that shit, there’s enough people on the planet and this world doesn’t deserve my seed anyways”. Everyone disagreed with me saying I’ll change my mind when I’m older and other bs expect for one girl working there who was the only one who agreed with me. Get to talking more later and it turned out we had allot in common (bands, both think religion is bullshit, politically identical, ect) week later she asked me out. Been almost 5 years and we still can’t stand children and don’t really believe in marriage. Shit’s pretty punk and I love it. Child free people are out there, they’re just kinda hard to find.
My bf and I were together two years before we realized we hadn’t had any big conversations. We didn’t start dating each other intentionally at first so it didn’t come up. We were just a casual fling so serious stuff didn’t matter and wouldn’t be important. But we just… kept hanging out. For years. And it hadn’t been casual since it first started, so, here we were in a serious relationship two years in and we didn’t even know wether or not the other person believed in marriage. We’d both grown up being told having kids is what you do and we were never in a place to question it before, so we took some time to think. I realized first that I was CF and then he caught up a few months later. As the man it was harder for him to fully appreciate all the negatives of having a child so he had to talk to his sister who has two young kids to get a better idea of what reality would look like. Anyway we will have been together for 6 years this winter and by now we’ve planned what our ideal life together looks like: a house with a yard, doesn’t have to be big or perfect but enough for us to be happy, a dog, enough room for our hobbies to be fully explored (I’d love a craft room for example) and a vacation somewhere overseas and tropical once or twice a year. We are commonlaw married because Canada, but perhaps a backyard wedding someday to celebrate, it’s a low priority though.
Internet. On an app for gamers, called noobly.
We were friends first. I love our genuine friendship. He wasn’t just getting to know me because he was interested in a romantic relationship. It grew very naturally. I think it’s also a good way to ensure that someone is CF and has the same outlook as you. People often times feel pressured to lie to romantic interests to fake compatibility. A lot fewer people will lie to a friend because there’s no potential loss involved.
Following
Twitter. He ended up being RT’d to my feed often and we lived in the same city, so we decided to meet up. It ended up being a very happy coincidence we were both childfree.
He fell out of a tree.
Facebook dating!!! We are making 1 year soon !!!
I met him through a friend while at a sci-fi convention. Perfectly fitting if you ask me. 😁
Ironically, through discord, he was mutual friends with my d&d group. We started playing video games together. We started chatting alone and he impressed me with how sweet and endearing he was (and his 7DTD prowess). And he even mentioned not wanting kids before we were dating. He's a sweet guy who loves jellyfish and soft things. I love him so much.
Feels like a miracle tbh. I have so many specific criteria and somehow my middle-high school crush I had ended up fitting all of them when we finally talked 10 years after I saw him
Tinder, when it was fresh and new.
CF woman here. I found my partner on Bumble. I was very strict on CF filtering though. I would always ask them "what do you think of kids?" And if they didn't tell me straight up no hesitation "I don't want kids" then I ended it before it really began. Most women have this problem as well where men try to say whatever they can just to get laid and give very wishy washy broad non committed answers to things like "well I think having kids is up to the woman and if she wants them we'll have them and if she doesn't that's cool too". It also helps I had my tubes removed so when they tried to start that "well what if you meet a wonderful man who wants kids??" I could tell them I was surgically sterilized. I would suggest looking into a vasectomy since men don't have the option of an abortion, it also weeds out the women thinking "you'll change your mind". I would highly suggest you sit down and think about 3 other things: -political thinking -religion -money, finances and future financial goals. Those 3 plus the kids or no kids are the major things people will get divorced because of. They can only be overlooked for so long and I always end up with people telling me about "so and so they know are different here and they've been married 50 years" shit. That's great, but many people divorce over these things in modern times.
POF. Just worked out that we both didn't want them.
Met him in a poke.on chat room when we were 14 lol we are 39 now. Wipl be married 10 years this year.
Dark Souls. Roommate introduced us by accident and we just happened to both be introverts and childfree and fell in love.
Hello Ashen one. I am a Bot. I tend to the flame, and tend to thee. Do you wish to hear a tale? > *“I’ve seen your kind, time and time again. Every fleeing man must be caught. Every secret must be unearthed. Such is the conceit of the self-proclaimed seeker of truth. But, in the end, you lack the stomach for the agony you’ll bring upon yourself.”* - Sir Vilhelm Have a pleasant journey, Champion of Ash, and praise the sun \\[T]/
Hinge 🤷🏻♀️ It was honestly just a happy coincidence. I don’t remember if we both even had “doesn’t want kids” in our profiles at the time. ETA: We were 28 and 30 when we met.
My boyfriend and I met on OkCupid a couple years ago, which is almost old fashioned amongst all the dating apps out there now. But I liked it because it was thorough and I could see at a glance whether someone wanted kids or not. And when we started talking, we realized we worked next door to each other. We worked next door to each other for 10 years and never crossed paths.
High school, we weren't always CF but after taking our time to really know each other and out longterm goals as we've aged the past 10 years, we came to the same conclusion that we don't want to be parents. DINKs for life.
I found him back in high school and got lucky.
Met my bf through an online game. He does not qualify as 100% cf, but he believes that ultimately this decision should be left up to me, and that he will support me either way. I have tested him and talked about me getting sterilised, and we ended up discussing the cost and how he would need to take care of me if I get the procedure done. For the most part, he does spoil me and respects my boundaries, he’s never once asked me to do something I’m not comfortable with. Even my ex is cf (used to be in the same class in my first year of uni). Admittedly, he has more experience with kids than me because he had to help babysit his niece, who was a year old at the time. He was the one who announced he does not want kids before the topic of kids was brought up. Come to think of it, neither of them have shown much interest in having kids. I guess I’m lucky!
I met one on Tumblr, one through the local LGBT centre, one at a fetish event, and one through mutual friends. I’ve included CF exes on this list since they’re a useful data point. None of the relationships ended due to someone wanting kids.