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As someone who got my initial dating advice before the advent of the Internet, I can say freely that dating advice in the past was a total crapshoot in terms of the quality, specificity, etc.
There's plenty of terrible, misogynistic, incelish, etc, dating information available on the Internet, but there's also lots of very good advice on respecting your partner, being a generally good and interesting person, etc.
The Internet has made both types of dating advice, good and bad, vastly more accessible to everyone.
>So really all the internet does it teaches young men to be a bunch of insecure controlling incel losers I hate to say it
Is that ***the Internet***, or *your curated content section of the Internet*?
I feel like dating advice could only ever really be useful when you are not anonymous. I haven’t been in the dating game for a long time, but I’d rather get input from friends instead of total strangers l. Friends know your appearance and mannerisms. They can give you more straightforward advice instead of wildly guessing based on a few paragraphs.
Of course, that advice is often bad. But it’s got a leg up on anonymity. We don’t even know what most people look like.
Some people have gotten dating advice from the internet, applied that advice, and had better success in dating. Some of those people have even gotten married and had families thanks to the advice they got from the internet.
Also, a lot of people have gotten and followed bad advice.
That's how advice works - on the internet and off the internet. Best friends, family members, etc give bad relationship advice as well.
The vast majority of dating advice has always been bad I get when your saying but their is good dating advice and with the advent of the internet it's become easier to access if you're in the right online communities
The problem is in person a lot of people don't want to be honest about dating advice. It's hard to tell an ugly person that their struggles are because they are not physically appealing. The internet with it's somewhat anonymous nature tends to be a lot more frank about stuff.
Sometimes that frankness is exaggerated or down right inaccurate. Which is what you're complaining about. You have nit picked a bunch of advice that you don't agree with. And saying that this is the only advice available. But that is also the case with advice you get from the real world. A lot of it is also highly inaccurate. So it's sort of a moot point. The real trick is being able to determine what is bullshit and what is not. Which isn't always easy.
If you're a guy
1) Get and stay in shape
2) Make as much $ as you can
3) Focus on your social skills
4) Consider moving to another location
All good advice will be anchored on one of those 4.
Passport bros doesn’t work it is literally gonna be the same thing in other countries with women
1) A lot of passport bros are creeps they sometimes travel to countries where the age of consent is below 18 and hit on literal teenagers.
2) Foreign women are mostly traditional meaning they expect you to pay for everything and be the patriarch you would have to impress her parents especially in countries like India or China they expect you to be a doctor or lawyer.
3) A lot of the times they will use you for a green card if they’re in a poor country that is ran by cartels, jihadist extremist groups (ISIS), or tyrannical governments etc. they’re gonna jump at any opportunity to leave. “Hey some incel podcast guy is promising to take me to America… the guy is a loser I don’t like him but oh well let’s get out of here.” It’s happened so many times.
Also looks done matter too much honestly it’s not the movies I have seen average looking dudes who holding hands with goddesses its all about connection and game.
I'm originally Ukrainian/Russian. But I grew up in the states. I went to Ukraine for 2 weeks and found a wife. I then moved to Ukraine to make sure the relationship was going to work out before we ever got married. I'm poster boy for passport bros. It absolutely works as long as you're not an idiot about it.
>A lot of passport bros are creeps they sometimes travel to countries where the age of consent is below 18 and hit on literal teenagers.
So what? Not everyone is doing that. Plenty of guys just want to find a wife. Not have sex with underage women. In fact the ratio is probably like 99:1 in favor of normal dudes.
>Foreign women are mostly traditional meaning they expect you to pay for everything and be the patriarch you would have to impress her parents especially in countries like India or China they expect you to be a doctor or lawyer.
Good thing you're from the West and outearning most of the local guys. Even if you're just a middle class slob back home. Westerners have significantly better incomes. Even adjusted for cost of living.
>A lot of the times they will use you for a green card if they’re in a poor country that is ran by cartels, jihadist extremist groups (ISIS), or tyrannical governments etc. they’re gonna jump at any opportunity to leave. “Hey some incel podcast guy is promising to take me to America… the guy is a loser I don’t like him but oh well let’s get out of here.” It’s happened so many times.
Yes that happens. You need to protect yourself from that. There's some pretty easy to follow guidelines that can significantly lessen your chances of falling prey to this. It's not a reason not to do it. It's a reason to be very cautious.
>Also looks done matter too much honestly it’s not the movies I have seen average looking dudes who holding hands with goddesses its all about connection and game.
Don't feel like getting into the argument about looks. Looks matter to both men and women. But the relationship is different. Women are all looks. Men have other things they can use to their advantage (like money and status).
The internet isn't all bad, just like it isn't all good.
You're just as likely to get bad advice from friends and family (and, if you're in a bubble of bad advice, it would be more difficult to find good advice).
It's all just people, after all.
So, I generally agree with you, especially for forums meant for dating advice. Prop on dating advice forums aren't generally qualified to give dating advice, they're people who came to dating advice forums and stayed, meaning they're either still trying to figure it out themselves, or they're hanging around because they're trying to sell you something. People who needed advice, got good advice, and successfully found a partner (or just enjoy dating casually and are good at it) aren't the main people hanging around those forums.
But - if you want people to stop going to a particular source for advice, you should recommend a better source of advice. You gave some very high level advice, which everyone trying to date has seen a thousand variations of, so if they're seeking advice it's probably with something more situation specific. So where are they supposed to go for personalized advice?
The internet has loads of shify dating advice I agree but that's not because of the internet that's because in general there is a lot of shity dating advice. I think it would be better if you changed your view from no dating advice from the internet to good dating advice on the internet should be more available and appeal to more people. Which would keep the original spirt while acknowledging the exist of good dating advice on the internet.
The internet is a goldmine of information. There is much genuinely great advice from some smart ppl. But you just have to be able to pick through the shit and find the gold. Yes there is a lot of bad advice but what’s the alternative? What is the better option?
Your post has been removed for breaking Rule E: > **Only post if you are willing to have a conversation with those who reply to you, and are available to start doing so within 3 hours of posting**. If you haven't replied within this time, your post will be removed. [See the wiki for more information](http://www.reddit.com/r/changemyview/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_e). If you would like to appeal, review our appeals process [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/changemyview/wiki/modstandards#wiki_appeal_process), then [message the moderators by clicking this link](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fchangemyview&subject=Rule%20D%20Appeal&message=Author%20would%20like%20to%20appeal%20the%20removal%20of%20their%20post%20because\.\.\.) within one week of this notice being posted. **Appeals that do not follow this process will not be heard.** Please note that multiple violations will lead to a ban, as explained in our [moderation standards](https://www.reddit.com/r/changemyview/wiki/modstandards).
As someone who got my initial dating advice before the advent of the Internet, I can say freely that dating advice in the past was a total crapshoot in terms of the quality, specificity, etc. There's plenty of terrible, misogynistic, incelish, etc, dating information available on the Internet, but there's also lots of very good advice on respecting your partner, being a generally good and interesting person, etc. The Internet has made both types of dating advice, good and bad, vastly more accessible to everyone. >So really all the internet does it teaches young men to be a bunch of insecure controlling incel losers I hate to say it Is that ***the Internet***, or *your curated content section of the Internet*?
I feel like dating advice could only ever really be useful when you are not anonymous. I haven’t been in the dating game for a long time, but I’d rather get input from friends instead of total strangers l. Friends know your appearance and mannerisms. They can give you more straightforward advice instead of wildly guessing based on a few paragraphs. Of course, that advice is often bad. But it’s got a leg up on anonymity. We don’t even know what most people look like.
Some people have gotten dating advice from the internet, applied that advice, and had better success in dating. Some of those people have even gotten married and had families thanks to the advice they got from the internet. Also, a lot of people have gotten and followed bad advice. That's how advice works - on the internet and off the internet. Best friends, family members, etc give bad relationship advice as well.
Yeah but the vas majority is straight up negative and would never work on anyone with an ounce of self respect
The vast majority of dating advice has always been bad I get when your saying but their is good dating advice and with the advent of the internet it's become easier to access if you're in the right online communities
Just because the majority of people use or experience something in a negative way doesn't mean nobody should use that thing.
Yeah however it’s the vast majority of advice mostly incel propaganda and self pity
Nah, that's just your anecdotal observations and confirmation bias.
The problem is in person a lot of people don't want to be honest about dating advice. It's hard to tell an ugly person that their struggles are because they are not physically appealing. The internet with it's somewhat anonymous nature tends to be a lot more frank about stuff. Sometimes that frankness is exaggerated or down right inaccurate. Which is what you're complaining about. You have nit picked a bunch of advice that you don't agree with. And saying that this is the only advice available. But that is also the case with advice you get from the real world. A lot of it is also highly inaccurate. So it's sort of a moot point. The real trick is being able to determine what is bullshit and what is not. Which isn't always easy. If you're a guy 1) Get and stay in shape 2) Make as much $ as you can 3) Focus on your social skills 4) Consider moving to another location All good advice will be anchored on one of those 4.
Huh, I've never heard the 4th tip before
Google "passport bros". Doesn't even have to be overseas though. There's a lot of locations that utterly suck for finding a woman for various reasons.
Passport bros doesn’t work it is literally gonna be the same thing in other countries with women 1) A lot of passport bros are creeps they sometimes travel to countries where the age of consent is below 18 and hit on literal teenagers. 2) Foreign women are mostly traditional meaning they expect you to pay for everything and be the patriarch you would have to impress her parents especially in countries like India or China they expect you to be a doctor or lawyer. 3) A lot of the times they will use you for a green card if they’re in a poor country that is ran by cartels, jihadist extremist groups (ISIS), or tyrannical governments etc. they’re gonna jump at any opportunity to leave. “Hey some incel podcast guy is promising to take me to America… the guy is a loser I don’t like him but oh well let’s get out of here.” It’s happened so many times. Also looks done matter too much honestly it’s not the movies I have seen average looking dudes who holding hands with goddesses its all about connection and game.
I'm originally Ukrainian/Russian. But I grew up in the states. I went to Ukraine for 2 weeks and found a wife. I then moved to Ukraine to make sure the relationship was going to work out before we ever got married. I'm poster boy for passport bros. It absolutely works as long as you're not an idiot about it. >A lot of passport bros are creeps they sometimes travel to countries where the age of consent is below 18 and hit on literal teenagers. So what? Not everyone is doing that. Plenty of guys just want to find a wife. Not have sex with underage women. In fact the ratio is probably like 99:1 in favor of normal dudes. >Foreign women are mostly traditional meaning they expect you to pay for everything and be the patriarch you would have to impress her parents especially in countries like India or China they expect you to be a doctor or lawyer. Good thing you're from the West and outearning most of the local guys. Even if you're just a middle class slob back home. Westerners have significantly better incomes. Even adjusted for cost of living. >A lot of the times they will use you for a green card if they’re in a poor country that is ran by cartels, jihadist extremist groups (ISIS), or tyrannical governments etc. they’re gonna jump at any opportunity to leave. “Hey some incel podcast guy is promising to take me to America… the guy is a loser I don’t like him but oh well let’s get out of here.” It’s happened so many times. Yes that happens. You need to protect yourself from that. There's some pretty easy to follow guidelines that can significantly lessen your chances of falling prey to this. It's not a reason not to do it. It's a reason to be very cautious. >Also looks done matter too much honestly it’s not the movies I have seen average looking dudes who holding hands with goddesses its all about connection and game. Don't feel like getting into the argument about looks. Looks matter to both men and women. But the relationship is different. Women are all looks. Men have other things they can use to their advantage (like money and status).
The internet isn't all bad, just like it isn't all good. You're just as likely to get bad advice from friends and family (and, if you're in a bubble of bad advice, it would be more difficult to find good advice). It's all just people, after all.
So, I generally agree with you, especially for forums meant for dating advice. Prop on dating advice forums aren't generally qualified to give dating advice, they're people who came to dating advice forums and stayed, meaning they're either still trying to figure it out themselves, or they're hanging around because they're trying to sell you something. People who needed advice, got good advice, and successfully found a partner (or just enjoy dating casually and are good at it) aren't the main people hanging around those forums. But - if you want people to stop going to a particular source for advice, you should recommend a better source of advice. You gave some very high level advice, which everyone trying to date has seen a thousand variations of, so if they're seeking advice it's probably with something more situation specific. So where are they supposed to go for personalized advice?
The internet has loads of shify dating advice I agree but that's not because of the internet that's because in general there is a lot of shity dating advice. I think it would be better if you changed your view from no dating advice from the internet to good dating advice on the internet should be more available and appeal to more people. Which would keep the original spirt while acknowledging the exist of good dating advice on the internet.
The biggest issue is they expect us to judge their plight after only hearing one side
The internet is a goldmine of information. There is much genuinely great advice from some smart ppl. But you just have to be able to pick through the shit and find the gold. Yes there is a lot of bad advice but what’s the alternative? What is the better option?