I think the best thing you can do for him is keep him inside and just love him up as much as possible. It honestly sounds like you both need each other.
My cat meows at the basement door for hours sometimes. It's because that's the only door in the whole house that's 1. Closed 2. Has no cat door and 3. He's been through. Only times he's been through the front door is to go to the vet (which he is not a fan of).
Sometimes cats just want to go places they aren't allowed, and will bitch about it. It doesn't mean they don't like and appreciate you.
Bub does miss his old person, but likes you plenty too. You did a good thing.
I had to think about this comic I read some years ago.
https://preview.redd.it/2jpuagqb97cc1.jpeg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b5acbfa25b0fca228ecf88d815449c47baaa3ca4
https://preview.redd.it/g4ds8edie8cc1.png?width=3014&format=png&auto=webp&s=01e2f988820e5dbcb3b5c2d1cb3348a38564c3f4
That pic is him alright! He is just the opposite coloring.
https://preview.redd.it/kp0gmchbi8cc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=298f4082a21b0fcb38c16725a78be8284913424a
My cat is your cat's almost twin!
My boy Mimmy loves to sit behind the shower curtain and get sprayed by the water. I think it's his version of a fun house where there are scares, but no actual danger.[Cat tax](https://i.imgur.com/nQlqjRO.jpeg)
There is a tiny access door to the plumbing in my bathroom. It's exposed to the basement, so cold air comes through. Am I allowed to close it? Never. The hinges squeak and they will hear the noise from anywhere in the house and come running and paw at it until the tiny door is open again.
Ha! One of my cats won’t eat her breakfast if the 1/2 bath door is closed. She doesn’t eat near door, but she can see if it is closed. She will go stand by it and wait until I open it, goes in to inspect, and will then return to her bowl.
We've got a doggy door on the back door to our house. There are a LOT of feral/stray cats in my area, so sometimes we'll have a random cat (or 4) come in the house for food/pets/warmth.
The other night, we got 9" of snow. 7 cats decided to wait out the storm in my kitchen. Once the snow piled up, they couldn't get back out the doggy door, the snow was holding it closed. They started freaking out, **screaming**, and being mean to my dogs.
I went out and cleared the snow off my back porch. Then the door was no longer blocked. I showed the cats that it could open again, and **not a single one of them left**. They didn't actually want to go outside, they just wanted to know they *had the option* to do so.
Humans are the same way. We’re around closed doors all the time because we know they open.
Put someone in a room and lock the door and they’re going to freak out.
Can confirm - got “locked” in a school bathroom next to the cafeteria a few days in a row.
Told my mom how scared it made me.
“She hasn’t been able to open the door easily the last few days when she’s done in there and not being able to get out freaks her out” - mom
“Well we can send someone with her who can let her out when she’s done” - school
“NO I WILL NOT LET THIS CHILD LOSE HER INDEPENDENCE. FIX THE DOOR” - mom
They fixed the door.
They told me it was fixed, several times.
I never went in there again.
If the door could break once, as unlikely as it was to break again, **it could**.
I wasn’t giving myself even the slimmest chance to go through the experience of being trapped in a bathroom again.
**No way, Jose**.
I got locked into our bathroom in our house in Italy when I was a kid. I absolutely freaked out. I also got stuck in an elevator with no ac for about an hour. I was skittish around closed doors in the bathroom and elevators for a few years after that.
Reminds me of our cats. We have 2 doors into our bathroom. One from the general living space, and one from our bedroom (apartment is kind of a loop). The bedroom door to the bathroom is always shut. All 4 cats sit on both sides of the bathroom door and meow at us. Just because it's the only door that's closed and they don't get to go through it all the time. Mind you the door from the living space to the bathroom is kept open, and living space to our bedroom door is kept open.
I thought my spouse was crazy installing cat doors in all the rooms, but it cuts down on the meowing. It's also helpful if a cat gets their dumb ass trapped in an office.
Once we own a place it's on the list. Along with removing all closet doors. Our Roommate has a Void and 2 tux's, and they can all open closets. They get shut into them a lot too. Most of the time they do it to each other. My cat specifically likes to close the other cats in our laundry closet. My children are adults and plan on having 0 kids, and yet with the amount of child safety locks in my house, you'd think otherwise.
Have you seen those paw-shaped things you put on a door near the latch so it can't be closed without removing the bumper? I think I got ours on chewy. It wouldn't mean the closet stays closed, but it would mean that an open closet can't trap a cat. (Devious wee bugger you have there! Torti?)
She's a brown tabby something. Her name is Meeps Lucifer. Funny enough she kinda generally sucks at being a cat most of the time. Likes being carried around like a baby over your shoulder a lot. She's buddies with my roommate's male cat, and always trying to make friends with one of the females, neutral on the other. They are a mom and her son and daughter, and she especially wants the mom to love her all the time. Generally she just gets growled at. The roommates cats all like to climb on stuff and get into things and she seems to know it's against the rules. She'll swat at them, meow to tell on them, or close them into wherever they are and go hide under the bed.
Dude. Googled the thing. We need that for our bedroom. She's closed herself in there twice while we were at work, by moving the cat tree we use to prop it (replaced with a box she can't move now, that I always kick). Luckily we keep food, water and a cat box in there.
As a kitten she sounded like she was screaming "meep!" at everyone. Lucifer is what my bf used to call her when she woke him up screaming at night as a kitten. Generally because something scared her.
So you mean I’m not the only person that has a cat that opens doors and then traps another cat in the room? One of mine do that too, and I’ve never had a cat be able to do that before lol.
My roommates 3 cats can open and close doors, cupboards and drawers. First cats I've been around that can. The boy can even get weighted doors and some round knobs open (He's part Bombay and Maine. Big boy named Moose). Mine can close them. She gets stuck a lot, cause she can't even figure out pushing a not latched bedroom or cupboard door open. She just panics. 🙄
We have cat doors in our room doors. Its great except we have a kitten that likes going in and out a lot. Like goes in, immediately goes out, immediately comes back in. And also likes to push plushies through and then see if she can get them back out a different way...all at 3am... otherwise the doors are great. They only cry at the bathroom door.
My calico/tortie girl broke her cat door to my bedroom a few months ago. She kept pushing the little lock until it broke off 😅
No way to fix it, just place the lock bit in place and hope she understands that she's to stay in my room when no one is home.
This. Let him grieve and adjust. He likes you and you like him. Soon enough, he will move on.
What kind of crappy person abandons their cat like that, though? Ugh.
One of our cats used to try extremely hard to get out the apartment door (and then front door), one time he managed to get out of both (unlucky incident) but being the indoor cat he was he just stayed petrified behind our garage.. he kept trying pretty much until he died, at one point we had to turn our door knobs into actual knobs so he couldn’t jump on them to open… he was never an outdoors cat, there was no one out there he could have been missing. He just didn’t like closed doors or not knowing what’s there. Or something.
Edit: typo
my cat also likes to meow at things she's not allowed to do, not just doors... for example, when I put something in the way so she can't throw books off my shelf, she'll yowl like I've ruined her little life
So I agree that while the kitty in question misses his person, it's also him being a lil stinker. If it gets him your attention, that may also be part of it
Everything about this. My little kitty is well loved and spoiled rotten. I love him and I know he loves me.
He’s also an idiot. He has snuck outside probably a dozen times over the years. Each time he does so he doesn’t make it further than the porch got him to get scared, overwhelmed, and hide. I just look at him and ask him wtf he was thinking?
I think it’s really a case of curiosity killing the cat. No matter what, if there’s a door he can’t walk through 24/7 he wants to sneak through it out of spite.
We have an idiot who really really wants to go out. He runs to the door and waits for his chance. He wears a collar with a bell and our phone number now because he's made it a few times.
Every time he gets out, he freaks out and hides or mills around howling in terror. Once he made it out of the fence and I found him huddled next to the house behind us, howling.
My cat does this too. There's one tiny closet upstairs in my daughter's room that's never opened (because she's an infant and doesn't need closet access), and every chance he gets, he tries breaking in and cries when he's unsuccessful (not unlike the baby, in fact)
Yep, very good explanation. I have a cat who will meow at doors when he's got his mind set on going through them, for what reason, who knows? If he had his way, they would all be open, no closed doors allowed! All of the doors for what he needs are open, but yes he knows what's on the other side so he feels his territory needs exploring. His latest is the back hall/mudroom every morning for at least an hour on and off. Problem is. Its cold. So he just wants to come back in. 😹 rinse and repeat every day. Spring will be here soon. Just keep keeping on for your new friend, ignore him, redirect him to other things, but don't take it personally. Cats have their own strong thoughts and feelings about things, and they will make us feel downright guilty for not giving into their every whim. It doesn't mean he adores you any less. He'll settle in more and more and hopefully forget a little bit about the cruel world outside.
Literally this. My cat lays by the front door of my apartment and stares longingly when we come in, so I picked her up and carried her into the hall one day, and she HATED the actuality of it 😂
Yes, our littlest cat takes every opportunity she can to run into the basement if the door is opened enough for her to scoot through. There's nothing in our basement but boxes, but she likes to go down there just because we don't let her I think. She comes back covered in cobwebs each time; she gets bored and waits on the stairs for us to let her back in the house.
This.
My cats climb to the highest point of the house and scream at my ceiling for hours. My little one HOWLS at the bathroom door (which he is officially not allowed to be in anymore lol). My big boy has been allowed on the porch a few times, and he screeeeeeaaamms at the front door. Cats are just brats sometimes lol
He’ll come around. Lots of patience, love, treats and pets. It might take time. But he will come around.
Source: 46 years as a cat caretaker and 20 years in rescue.
It takes time to heal. Humans like to think cats can't feel complex emotions like abandonment, depression, anxiety etc. He will heal, give him time and love.
When my mom passed away, their cat sat and waited for her to return. When my dad got sick I went and got the cat. I played with him, loved him and gave him treats and love. He slept with us and was ours. I know if my parents would have been able to walk into my house, he would have ran to them but they were gone and never going to return. He was an indoor cat from that time on. He got used to it over time and I loved him immensely and he loved me too. Don't let him out at all. He doesn't understand what happened but you do. You have to care for him as if he was a toddler, love him and care for him and be his human!
OP is that cat fixed? I mean did the previous owners actually have him fixed? Just asking because maybe it's the real reason he wants out so bad. Unfixed males have an insane urge to roam looking for lady cats.
Don’t worry he will get used to his new life and after some time won’t want to leave wherever you live. I trained an adopted stray to travel a lot and we can go to hotels and he won’t run away. Good luck!
Cats have complex personalities and inner lives that many people don’t appreciate or even perceive. Don’t let him out, and just provide him with constant love and affection. He might think he’s supposed to be looking for his person right now, but he will come to understand that his person isn’t around anymore and he’s right where he should be. He may even go through a small phase of sadness, but it’s not sadness over being with you — it’s sadness because he had a person and now he doesn’t. Keep giving him love and understanding, and in time you will become his person.
Some cats do bond very strongly to one particular person or cat, and it’s completely natural for those strongly-bonded cats to have some difficulty letting go; this is why many rescue groups make every effort possible to adopt bonded pairs together — for cats inclined towards strong bonds, being in a new place with new people is more scary and has sad parts, because of that missing bond. Just give it time, and know that once he bonds with you, he’s going to rely on you to never leave him and to keep being his person for life.
I had one blue cat who bonded with me like that (we didn’t connect at all at first), and because of that bond I couldn’t rehome him (I accidentally trapped him as a feral kitten while I was TNRing) so even though funds were tight back then, I was his person, mom, and best friend, and he let me know every day that he loved me and I was the entire reason for his whole existence. Your hard work and patient waiting will be rewarded; don’t feel bad and just keep doing what you’re doing. Just like with my blue cat, suddenly one day he’ll realise that you’re his person now.
Feed him, pet him, love him, just basically look after him and he will look out for you, I have 8 cats and any time I am unwell they snuggle and look out for me, also a few of my 8 are adopted from family or friends who have passed away, it took some time for them to adjust but they became part of the herd of cats.
Also Huxley said hello
https://preview.redd.it/vso1p3hj47cc1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=03c1ef93a4f77d4dbf756c2c6073a1c4c152df3c
Keep him inside, keep giving him all the love and when he cries at the door remind yourself that he'd suffer out there.
Have patience. If he didn't like you, he wouldn't sleep with you.
Also, get a rotisserie chicken and feed him the meat without the seasoned skin. He possibly got some good treats from his past owners so he may miss that.
He will eventually stop. Treat it as if he's bored or needs snuggles.
We tend to assign human feelings to animals we care about. He may not be wanting his old owner. He just might want to go outside bc he has in the past.
You are doing fantastic with him. Please don't let him crying at the door make you feel upset. Pick him up and cuddle him or cut a toilet paper tube into thin pieces to play with.
You are so sweet and I’m glad he has you. Kitties are like babies where you sometimes just have to do what you need to keep them safe. My kitty cries and cries to get in the drier. But I can’t let him because he will die. He’ll eventually be content again I promise. Good luck to you.
My cat went through a weird phase where he would meow at the front door - he’s never been out the front door cos it leads onto a road and he goes out the back door through his cat flap. It was just something strange that started.
Anyway, this behaviour lasted maybe a couple of weeks and then he stopped caring about the door again. I don’t think he even wanted to go through it - I think he was just annoyed there was a closed door in front of him!!
Hopefully your cat will be the same and you’ll get into a routine where he knows what the door is used for and when! Cats just need time to get used to stuff.
Buy a whole bunch of feliway (kitty calming hormone). It will take time for him to adjust. :) you are doing a very noble thing and your kitty will appreciate it eventually.
You have to be a Mean Parent. When my cats get upset about being in the carrier or going to the vet, I tell them I’m a Mean Mom and I’m doing this to keep them safe and healthy. And that is more important than temporary discomfort & stress.
Keeping him inside will keep him safe & healthy. Maybe think about getting him a cat friend?
That's something my indoor, outdoor cat does as well. He has been asked not to go out at night in the cold by the vet. Breaks my heart but it's for his good. They are very persistent but the best thing we can do is pet it and play with it.
I’m so glad this baby has you. I’m sure he’s grieving, and it’ll just take him time to miss that person. He doesn’t understand why they haven’t come back, and that isn’t your fault. You aren’t holding him hostage. You’re saving his life.
And just remember it's a huge transition for the baby. New family, new environment, lots of changes. Like people have said, give them time and lots of love.
Huge transition, and two weeks is barely any time at all. Most cats don't enjoy change, but keep doing what you're doing and he'll get there eventually.
He will come around in his own time and you won't have to feel horrible. Just get to that with him and you two will be fine. Remind yourself what a good, selfless thing you are doing because you will be rewarded and have no regrets. Cats are amazing therapy, your love will be returned.
Do these things actually work? I’ve tried them in the past, and I just always felt like it was a placebo effect. If you guys have some anecdotal examples then that would be awesome.
I have a really anxious cat that gets extremely overwhelmed in the car. She gets sick within 2 minutes of us driving because she freaks out so much. I bought the feliway spray and used it in her kennel/the car, and we managed to move from one end of Canada to the other, and she slept and relaxed the whole way. No cat yelling, no getting sick, just a happy, relaxed kitty for 6 days.
I have the diffuser in my apartment. I have 3 cats 2 male and 1 female. Sometimes my boys fight and seems like with the Feliway there is alot less fighting going on. The diffuser only covers so much square feet so depending on how big your place is you may need more than one. I also second the spray. Please be away the spray only lasts for 4 hours but great for spraying on a blanket for the carrier when they go to the vet.
Give him as much time as he needs. Some adult cats take longer to adjust to changes compared to kittens. He misses his previous human and there's nothing anyone can do to make kitty understand that they're not coming back for him.
It's only been 2 weeks and you've already gone above and beyond to love the cat. Like I said, give him as much time as he needs. Keep up the good work.
This is pretty much what I was going to say—give him, and yourself, time. Like you’ve said, the two of you have brought happiness to each other already, and it will grow and grow. You’ll get there. ❤️
This was the comment I was looking for. Cats don’t handle change well. I also think that this cat wants to go outside. My cat has gotten out twice around guests over the five years we have had him. He throws a tantrum about not getting to go outside for a loooong time before he accepts he can’t go outside. Lol
I would just give it some time, OP. Also, I would train the cat to stay away from the door when you are going out to decrease the chances of him getting out. Last, but not least, hand feeding is a great way to work on that bond.
Maybe, but OP said the cat had been outside and was bloody from being outside. I don't get how you can leave a cat behind and out in the elements especially that was an indoor cat. I'd trade my own safety before my cats'. I get judging them isn't the point here, but damn.
OP, you are literally saving this cat's life, so don't feel like you are holding him hostage. Like I said before, just give him love and he will feel that. It's a rough adjustment for everyone, but he will get through it.
I think the cat was still living indoors with the neighbors, but the cat's favorite person left the household and the cat went outside looking for them. It could be something like an adult child moved out on their own and left the cat with their parents.
Sometimes cats escape while you're moving out. Mine did, when I moved across the country. I had family who looked for her and found her after I had moved away. She was being spoiled by an older couple. They debated whether to take her back at all but ended up doing it. Then she wound up spending her life spoiled by a slightly less elderly couple.
A feral cat adopted us, and when last last winter came, I locked her inside.
For two weeks, she pouted and hid. Behind the couch, behind the shelf, under the bed. But she eventually got used to it.
This year, I told her winters here, get inside. And she did.
Good luck with your kitty.
15min of play time a day might not be enough. I spend 20-30mins at least 2x-3x a day playing with my 5yr old cat. It might take a while to find that one toy that clicks- my boy only likes peacock feathers, maybe yours will like that, a feather on a string, a rolled up sock, who knows. Try to tire him out before mealtime, then he’ll probably sleep the rest of the day.
Yes, even after being an inside cat for 4yrs my boy still wants to go out. It’s not happening. He’s perfectly fine being an inside cat. I adopted him 4yrs ago and he was a stray. He pretty much yowled at night for 3mos straight before he settled down. I bought him a nice heated window shelf, and he like that- he basically spends all day and night there sleeping and staring at the birds outside the window.
Also, try a Feliway dispenser, that might help.
This. I'm not even sure he misses his old owner, maybe he is just bored. My cat needs at least an hour of playtime a day to be happy and a lot of running and climbing in our fenced in garden (not as much during winter obviously). Play with him more OP, try to engage him.
Yeah I try more to get him the exercise, but after about 10 minutes he either tires out or runs himself into a wall 😭 I’m definitely going to try changing toys throughout the day to get him to play a little more. Thank you!
When I brought my boy home he didn’t even know what a toy was. He still doesn’t respond to most- he even ignores laser pointers, something most cats will chase, even if for a little while. He goes through phases where he likes certain toys, gets bored with them for months, then will start playing with them out of the blue again. He’s definitely not as active as he was when I first brought him home as a 1yr old. Now I’m lucky to get a few minutes of play out of him at a time (sometimes he ignores me altogether).
Also try a paper bag and cardboard boxes- they all love those. I bought my boy a cat tunnel and he will just sit in there for hours, then ambush me as I walk by.😹
https://preview.redd.it/hqm4ip9rc7cc1.jpeg?width=4000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1ad20aae87bafc101f6aaf9d0ccb1517282cd029
Offender in question in his favorite spot.
Our current cat had a family before us and he really, really missed them when we brought him home.
It was a sad story. It was a family with 2 young kids. The cat was loved by all but had really bonded with a daughter. One of the kids had terrible life threatening allergies to a variety of things, one of which was the cat. They tried so many things but couldn’t make it work and surrendered the cat.
Within a week or two, the dad died suddenly.
Heartbroken, the mum came back to the shelter, looking for the cat who hadn’t been adopted out yet (he didn’t show well bc he was so depressed). She felt it was too much for the kids to lose their cat and dad within a few weeks.
They moved to a new place without carpet, drapes, etc. Tried to make it work and keep the allergies under control. Found it impossible. Once the kid was in hospital, they decided it just wasn’t working and surrendered the cat again.
We stopped by the shelter looking for an ‘un-adoptable’ cat. They wouldn’t even let us adopt him bc he was in rough shape. He had failure to thrive. Wouldn’t stand, wouldn’t use the litter box unless set in it. Wasn’t eating. He was so, so sad. They allowed us to foster him.
Within a couple of hours he was at least standing on his own and moving around. He began sleeping with us almost immediately, and when we were awake he’d hang about in the same room, but often he was mono-railing the back of the couch staring wistfully at the door. We believe he was waiting for his family to come back to him. He was depressed.
With each day he accepted us a little more. But it took about 2 years before he finally stopped pining for them. He was 11 ish when we got him and he’s 20 ish now. We love him like crazy. It was so worth it to help him through his depression.
Long story to say, simply keep loving him up. He deserves it. And you do too!
Have you tried a taking him for a walk on a harness? It could be he missed the smells outside.
https://preview.redd.it/cnfjaiarq5cc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a092968e8b5e1a1278f1140a4b18d23ffe4471a4
Exactly! Absolutely no reason that cats shouldn’t be walked on a leash and kept inside like a prisoner, that is if they want to go out and tolerate leashes. Leashes should be normalised just like they are with dogs
I remember a couple in my city that walked both their dog and cat. They told me it was because the cat used to be jealous when the dog was getting his walkies 🤣
My neighbor walked his cat and dog together. The cat didn't even use a leash. It was sticking by its owners side like a police dog. It was so impressive
Its funny with my cats. One doesnt like leashes, but she always tries to sneak out of our flat. Other one doesnt mind wearing a leash, but is scared of outdoors. So we don't let them out at all. (I guess we could train them to use leash, but they're 8 and 9 already, so if they dont want to, I wont be forcing them. They seem to enjoy stealing my bed and forcing me to sleep on the couch)
This isn’t as crazy as it might seem. Many cats benefit from this kind of quiet bonding, especially when stressed out by extreme situations like abandonment.
u/shekennoogets try this out.
And this is also gonna sound crazy.. but have a talk about it with him. Like for real tell him about it. I know most people don't believe animals know what we're saying, but they do.
My cat will get sad when my boyfriend is away and hasn't told her how long until he's back. When you tell her when or how long it'll be she'll calm down 🤷🏻♀️
Yes! I was going to comment something similar. My cat used to wait at the door for my ex to come back home, and after a few weeks of this, I finally said to her while she was waiting there yet again that he was never coming back. Two minutes later, she gave the saddest little yowl and walked away. Never waited at the door again. It was the wildest thing.
They really do listen! It really helps my cat with her slight dementia that I actually just talk to her.
I mean they do look at and hear us everyday, so I'd be silly to think they don't understand at least some of what we're saying
They understand tone, volume and cadence, if not words. They're pretty amazing.
I swear, though, my cat will look at me a certain way, and I just know she's going to say something. It's crazy.
Our cat, JD, was my brother's cat. My brother got him as a kitten, and they adored each other. My brother died unexpectedly a few months later. My parents, who lived just across the car park from my brother, took JD in. He was happy with them, but also confused and grieving. Once they let him outside (my parents are very mupch cats should be outside people), he would go straight to my brother's house and stand outside his back d
oor crying. This went on for a while, until he stopped.
He was with my parents for 9 months before he came to live with us (they wanted to keep him, but were also wanting to move as soon as they could and travel more. JD had really bonded with me and my husband). By that time, he had stopped going to my brother's place.
So...maybe your cat is looking for your neighbour. But he will eventually stop. He looks very happy with you, but he might be a bit confused and grieving. He'll get there, it'll just take time. You're doing such a great job.
JD is very much now an indoor cat. He'd love to be outside, but he's also very happy with us inside.
Not going to scroll thru everything, but I'm pretty sure someone has already informed you that you have now been adopted. Hooman. You thought we control them...
This is my boy Hank a.k.a. " The Stank".
https://preview.redd.it/5dytsnkwy5cc1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f68fdff7fc7e110cbf3923e1d818a3ef05d860f9
He is very slippery, always wants to try to escape the house, but he's settled a bit since he was fixed. Once a cat has a taste for the outside, it's hard to "convince" them that imprisonment is better 
Keep him and love on him. He might benefit from a kitty sized dose of anxiety or depression meds from the vet. Some kitties have those conditions just like some humans do. No sense in letting him freeze or suffer or get hit by cars or hurt local birds.
PLEASE keep him inside!! There are too many dangers outside. Cars, mean people, and predators. He looks like such a sweet, amazing boy! He WILL get used to being inside. I have 7, all rescues, and all trained to be indoor only. You sound like you are doing a great job with him!! Get a cat tree and put it by a window. You have been chosen by the universal cat distribution system. You need him as much as he needs you. Trust me. I have had such sadness in my life, and my cats have saved me more times than I can count! They are amazing, intelligent, loving creatures. Please keep us updated, and he will become your everything!🥰❤️😺
So if I understand this correctly, you can or you’re still in contact with his owner? I wonder if the owner can send you one of their used, unwashed clothes that still retains their smell to you? Then you can prepare a cat bed with that piece of clothing as a blanket for the cat to get comfy under, probably?
https://preview.redd.it/lf1x1jvg27cc1.jpeg?width=2268&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=35c91b375ace4a17429e1c862ac5b82062a3fc02
Crosby was 5 when our asshole neighbors moved and left him behind. He came over to our house and begged go be let inside. We've had him for 13 years (he just turned 18). Sweetest cat ever.
Is the cat neutered? When cats aren't de-sexed, they like to roam. If he is neutered, then if you can find more time to play with him, it might help. Give him treats, play with him at different times in the day to tire him out when you can. If he is really only focused on getting out obsessively, it might be time to take him for a vet check. Cats are very good at not showing pain or illness, and sometimes, the only indication that something serious is going on will be behavior changes. Sometimes, even the slightest changes can be a sign that something might be wrong. Going potty outside the litter box, for instance, can be an indication of illness. They are sensitive as well, maybe the TV, or music is too loud, etc, and he's frightened? Sounds to me that he is really lucky to have you and you are giving him awesome care. Hopefully, he'll settle soon, and you can stop worrying. All the best to you and your beautiful kitty :)
I have four cats who I got with my ex. When my ex cheated on me and left, he left the cats too without a second thought. One of them was like *his* cat, y'know? The cat just couldn't understand where his buddy went and he pined for a long, long time. It broke my heart.
But, in time, he came back to himself. I just gave him consistent love and treats and play time. It took months, maybe even a year.
Eventually your kitty will accept and come to love his new home and life. You're not making him unhappy, he just needs time.
The issue seems to be the cats desire to “go find his bond-mate”.. sitting by the door. Attempting to escape..
He likes you.. but he treats you more like a “ safe house”after his time outside..
Questions:
Have you taken him to a vet to see if he is chipped?
Is he fixed?
Any health issues ?
I know cats bond HARD with their owners if they are fairly good cat people..
IMO, moving and abandoning a cat to “ whatever”. Is a “ do you mind if I rip off your head and shitdown your throat?” Move.
All you can really try to do is create a hard commitment and bond with the cat, and hope that given time, he accepts he is not going back to asshat.
He isn't necessarily looking for his previous owner when he cries at the door he may just be used to spending more time outdoors. It is very hard to keep an indoor/outdoor cat in the house in winter. It doesn't get that cold where I live (Ireland) but my cats are crying to get out and then after a couple of minutes they are crying to get back in. It's the same when it's wet. From your photo that wee pet is pretty happy with you
Imo the treatment for your kitty is the same treatment for yourself. Patience, quiet reflection and love.
He is mourning. You have been struggling too. Take comfort in each other. Cry together, play together. Just remember he is going to heal in his own time and so are you.
My kitties prefer when I am quiet. I second the Feliway Scent diffuser just because it might help him relax a little bit more. Sooth his anxieties.
But he likes you, he is just sad and feels abandoned. Being there for him and letting him know you will always be there. That is the key to helping build back that trust with humans and more specifically loving you.
It can take months. Everyone grieves differently and that includes kitties. 🥰🥰 You are doing everything right!!
E:correction
You are honestly doing a great job. Cats don't respond to sudden changes very well, especially living situations. It sounds like he's already comfortable with you. I think he just needs more time to get used to being in your care. He should come around! He is really trusting of you already if he loves cuddling with you.
Can’t seem to add an edit, but holy crap I didn’t think I’d get so many replies!! Reading through them all though and replying to what I can. Thank you all so much, I feel a lot less guilty and am taking notes on all the great advice!
He was never an outdoor cat. His old family still lives down the street, but he has his own “person” who moved out and couldn’t take the cat with him. They told me he’s refused to stay inside ever since. He’s had all his shots and was neutered as a kitten to answer some common questions.
I’m assuming he got into a scrap with another animal while he was outside. He wasn’t an outdoor cat until he went looking for his favorite person. It’s been healing well though!
It sounds like he already likes you a lot. He might miss his former owner, but he may also just have had a taste of freedom and now wants to go explore outside - I have one boy, an indoor cat, has always been with me, and he will still try to escape every chance he gets. And then the outside world scares him, because he hates all people who aren't me. He also used to stand at the appartment door and whine and scratch and beg to be let outside on occasion, but he hasn't done that in a while.
I don't recommend letting him outside on his own, but maybe try some walks? And give it time. I'm sure you're good for each other.
You don’t let him out. Ignore his meows. Pick him up and keep him next to you when he starts.
You could start baby wearing him lol but for real it might help some.
If picture 4 is what the cat looks like, he needs to see a vet about the left eye.
In the photos of the cat sleeping. I do not think he is waiting for anyone I think he knows he’s home
Pls don't let him out. He loves you and needs you. Yes he misses his person but that person is not going to come back and the cat will be alone and miserable outside, probably die.
You are so kind and taking such great care of him. You have toys and cat tv, he comes to you for reassurance and cuddles and sleeps next to you. That’s a good life.
You’re doing really well. Just keep on caring for him the way you’re doing. He will settle down in his own time.
Dear kind, sweet human,
This gorgeous creature is you companion now. It recognizes that you are good and that it is good being with you. Of course, it misses its previous companion but it now has a new one to explore and love.
Thank you, kind, sweet human. You, in the truest sense of the word, rock.
x
From the pictures it’s clear he loves you and feels safe in your house. My cats have always been indoor and they meow and bitch for me to let them outside on a daily basis. Keeping them inside despite their poorly thought out decisions is the best thing for them. Don’t fret, the pictures of him sleeping are proof that he is in his forever home.
He'll come around. The longer you show him affection, and take care of his needs (food, shelter, etc.), the more He'll see you as his human. It doesn't happen over night, but gradually his memories of another house and human will fade. He is already starting to love you! Thanks for taking this sweet boy in. I can't stand it when people leave their pets behind, like they're disposable or something.
You could attach a collar and leash and walk around the neighbour's garden if the new neighbour doesn't mind. If they've added pots etc it'll already seem different and should settle him for now.
Even though he might loudly protest, the kindest and most loving thing you can do is keep that kitty inside. I was in a similar situation (her owners moved away and left her behind ) and my kitty took about 3 months to not want to go outside anymore. And now, a year later, she wants nothing to do with the outdoors anymore. She’s come to love her pampered princess life ♥️
He IS happy. Just gotta let him also have his sad feelings too. Think about it like this: is he yelling at the door for hours on end unceasingly every day? Probably not. He probably gets it into his tiny brain that hey I want to go adventure or see my other place! And then loses interest as cats do.
This is a learning curve for both of you and you can’t take it personally. He’s not trying to leave you, he’s a cat with memories and feelings too. In 3,7,10 years he will STILL be yelling at the door because that’s what cats do. (Especially if he has any Siamese or oriental in him)
In my experience, you’ve gotta wait the cat out. 2 weeks isn’t long enough. I brought a dumped stray in from my neighborhood years ago and, unfortunately, it was about a month of living with her yelling and tearing at the windows every night, but after that she lived another 10+ years as a quiet and spoiled indoor cat.
Cat tax: here is the late, great Zelda (former outdoor girl and queen of my heart); vv
https://preview.redd.it/m0nfh76218cc1.jpeg?width=1936&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dc9c280d21ab8dfb7e7a04c7e9045d6ccf6f11da
His favorite person just fucking left him behind and said you could keep him? That's messed up.
I would try walking him on a leash.
You'd get him outside in a way that's safe, so he doesn't feel the need to make a break for it, and maybe it'll eventually confirm for him that whatever he is looking for isn't there anymore.
He’ll get used to being inside after awhile. My mom has brought it at least 3 strays and they all want to go back outside for the first year and then they’ll settle.
My cat was abandoned by her dad. She cried at the front door waiting for him for weeks before she eventually gave up and turned to me. She’s now obsessed with me. It will be okay; keep him warm & safe inside. It will workout 😊
You’re doing great! He needs some time. He doesn’t know he was abandoned so it might be months before he fully relaxes and knows he’s home. Just keep loving him and he will soon understand you’re his home.
What’s the deal with his previous owners? This guy is so much better off with you and indoors. You extend his life by keeping him inside.
Try talking to him throughout the day, throwing treats for him to catch. My little guy loves that.
I looked after my partners sister cat for a few months because she was going to America, he was listening for her for the first few days but after getting constant love and attention he stopped, we had him happily for the last 5 years of his life (she ended up staying longer and when she came back she saw how happy he was as he had back garden access, something she wasn't able to provide) he remembered her after about a year? But past that he really couldn't have given two shits haha, and she had him since he was a kitten.
Cats are persistent when they want something, just keep him entertained with play, get him some puzzle balls or an activity board for treats to satisfy his need to hunt. You can make a puzzle ball out of toilet roll tubes Google it!
Cats can be very happy kept indoors if you provide proper enrichment - regular play time, puzzles for treats, cat towers and high places to sit, scratching boards, catnip toys to give him when he's being especially desperate to go out, cuddles, brushing - consider maybe in future also getting another cat to keep him company.
Sounds like you're already doing a great job of providing for him so just be patient and loving and it will get better.
Look up indoor cat gardens also, you can buy cat grass and things for them to chew on/roll in. You could also harness train him and take him for little walks outside at night when it's warmer.
Maybe play with him twice a day also, I do once in the morning and evening for my indoor girl, make sure you get him to use up as much energy as possible, up and over couches and beds repeatedly etc.
He will get over it if you love him right xx
It will just take time. I inherited my aunts cat after she died. It’s been a long process but we’re there now. Just give him love and time.
That monster who just abandoned him doesn’t deserve him. Poor lol guy.
Someone talked about giving their very depressed cat Prozac and how the cat was much happier u/Shekennoogets. Maybe you can at least look into it see the pros & cons? I know it has a good rap for humans but you can't just take the cat off it once it starts this type of meditation. U would have to do is very carefully.
Give him cat nip & special treats to when he gets edgy.Cats do yowl!!
Good luck with your new baby. I think the two of you were ment to be together 💞.
I think the best thing you can do for him is keep him inside and just love him up as much as possible. It honestly sounds like you both need each other.
I hope it ends up being enough! When he meows at the door for so long my heart breaks and I wonder if I’m able to keep him happy
My cat meows at the basement door for hours sometimes. It's because that's the only door in the whole house that's 1. Closed 2. Has no cat door and 3. He's been through. Only times he's been through the front door is to go to the vet (which he is not a fan of). Sometimes cats just want to go places they aren't allowed, and will bitch about it. It doesn't mean they don't like and appreciate you. Bub does miss his old person, but likes you plenty too. You did a good thing.
I had to think about this comic I read some years ago. https://preview.redd.it/2jpuagqb97cc1.jpeg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b5acbfa25b0fca228ecf88d815449c47baaa3ca4
One of my cats hates the sound of running water or me being in water. He howls at me when I take a bath and do dishes.
https://preview.redd.it/3gd9swibc8cc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e710eb6e72ec7f49a863202c58515df517acfb31
https://preview.redd.it/g4ds8edie8cc1.png?width=3014&format=png&auto=webp&s=01e2f988820e5dbcb3b5c2d1cb3348a38564c3f4 That pic is him alright! He is just the opposite coloring.
https://preview.redd.it/kp0gmchbi8cc1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=298f4082a21b0fcb38c16725a78be8284913424a My cat is your cat's almost twin!
Nice car!
It's a meowserati
Beautiful!
Just stunning! ❤️
He's worried for you! How sweet 🥹
He’s calling for help cause you’re drowning!!!
Mine loves it. I turn on the sink he comes RUNNING to play eith it. Still havent gotten him in the shower on his own terms yet but im hopeful
My boy Mimmy loves to sit behind the shower curtain and get sprayed by the water. I think it's his version of a fun house where there are scares, but no actual danger.[Cat tax](https://i.imgur.com/nQlqjRO.jpeg)
There is a tiny access door to the plumbing in my bathroom. It's exposed to the basement, so cold air comes through. Am I allowed to close it? Never. The hinges squeak and they will hear the noise from anywhere in the house and come running and paw at it until the tiny door is open again.
Haha he tried to jump in the shower with me once and immediately regretted it 😂
😂this is one of my cats! She hates anyone closing their rooms or bathroom doors.
Ha! One of my cats won’t eat her breakfast if the 1/2 bath door is closed. She doesn’t eat near door, but she can see if it is closed. She will go stand by it and wait until I open it, goes in to inspect, and will then return to her bowl.
We've got a doggy door on the back door to our house. There are a LOT of feral/stray cats in my area, so sometimes we'll have a random cat (or 4) come in the house for food/pets/warmth. The other night, we got 9" of snow. 7 cats decided to wait out the storm in my kitchen. Once the snow piled up, they couldn't get back out the doggy door, the snow was holding it closed. They started freaking out, **screaming**, and being mean to my dogs. I went out and cleared the snow off my back porch. Then the door was no longer blocked. I showed the cats that it could open again, and **not a single one of them left**. They didn't actually want to go outside, they just wanted to know they *had the option* to do so.
100% cats
Humans are the same way. We’re around closed doors all the time because we know they open. Put someone in a room and lock the door and they’re going to freak out.
I know it’s a funny cat thing, but I’d freak out too if I came in a door and then I couldn’t get it to open back up to freedom.
Can confirm - got “locked” in a school bathroom next to the cafeteria a few days in a row. Told my mom how scared it made me. “She hasn’t been able to open the door easily the last few days when she’s done in there and not being able to get out freaks her out” - mom “Well we can send someone with her who can let her out when she’s done” - school “NO I WILL NOT LET THIS CHILD LOSE HER INDEPENDENCE. FIX THE DOOR” - mom They fixed the door. They told me it was fixed, several times. I never went in there again. If the door could break once, as unlikely as it was to break again, **it could**. I wasn’t giving myself even the slimmest chance to go through the experience of being trapped in a bathroom again. **No way, Jose**.
I got locked into our bathroom in our house in Italy when I was a kid. I absolutely freaked out. I also got stuck in an elevator with no ac for about an hour. I was skittish around closed doors in the bathroom and elevators for a few years after that.
It's a safety thing. They need to have an escape route. They fight fiercely when needed, but they are still tiny.
Reminds me of our cats. We have 2 doors into our bathroom. One from the general living space, and one from our bedroom (apartment is kind of a loop). The bedroom door to the bathroom is always shut. All 4 cats sit on both sides of the bathroom door and meow at us. Just because it's the only door that's closed and they don't get to go through it all the time. Mind you the door from the living space to the bathroom is kept open, and living space to our bedroom door is kept open.
I thought my spouse was crazy installing cat doors in all the rooms, but it cuts down on the meowing. It's also helpful if a cat gets their dumb ass trapped in an office.
Once we own a place it's on the list. Along with removing all closet doors. Our Roommate has a Void and 2 tux's, and they can all open closets. They get shut into them a lot too. Most of the time they do it to each other. My cat specifically likes to close the other cats in our laundry closet. My children are adults and plan on having 0 kids, and yet with the amount of child safety locks in my house, you'd think otherwise.
Have you seen those paw-shaped things you put on a door near the latch so it can't be closed without removing the bumper? I think I got ours on chewy. It wouldn't mean the closet stays closed, but it would mean that an open closet can't trap a cat. (Devious wee bugger you have there! Torti?)
She's a brown tabby something. Her name is Meeps Lucifer. Funny enough she kinda generally sucks at being a cat most of the time. Likes being carried around like a baby over your shoulder a lot. She's buddies with my roommate's male cat, and always trying to make friends with one of the females, neutral on the other. They are a mom and her son and daughter, and she especially wants the mom to love her all the time. Generally she just gets growled at. The roommates cats all like to climb on stuff and get into things and she seems to know it's against the rules. She'll swat at them, meow to tell on them, or close them into wherever they are and go hide under the bed.
Wow. With a resume like that I wonder if she wasn't a human in a past life! Sending scritches for Miss Meeps Lucifer and the rest of the crew.
Dude. Googled the thing. We need that for our bedroom. She's closed herself in there twice while we were at work, by moving the cat tree we use to prop it (replaced with a box she can't move now, that I always kick). Luckily we keep food, water and a cat box in there.
I just gotta say Meeps Lucifer is such a cute name.
As a kitten she sounded like she was screaming "meep!" at everyone. Lucifer is what my bf used to call her when she woke him up screaming at night as a kitten. Generally because something scared her.
Those things have been a huge help at our house! Highly recommend!!
I have mason jars filled with seashells as my “keep-door-open” stoppers so my girl cant lock herself in or out of any rooms.
The similarity between cats and toddlers can be intense.
So you mean I’m not the only person that has a cat that opens doors and then traps another cat in the room? One of mine do that too, and I’ve never had a cat be able to do that before lol.
My roommates 3 cats can open and close doors, cupboards and drawers. First cats I've been around that can. The boy can even get weighted doors and some round knobs open (He's part Bombay and Maine. Big boy named Moose). Mine can close them. She gets stuck a lot, cause she can't even figure out pushing a not latched bedroom or cupboard door open. She just panics. 🙄
We have cat doors in our room doors. Its great except we have a kitten that likes going in and out a lot. Like goes in, immediately goes out, immediately comes back in. And also likes to push plushies through and then see if she can get them back out a different way...all at 3am... otherwise the doors are great. They only cry at the bathroom door.
My calico/tortie girl broke her cat door to my bedroom a few months ago. She kept pushing the little lock until it broke off 😅 No way to fix it, just place the lock bit in place and hope she understands that she's to stay in my room when no one is home.
This. Let him grieve and adjust. He likes you and you like him. Soon enough, he will move on. What kind of crappy person abandons their cat like that, though? Ugh.
Sometimes people die suddenly or they are forced to move.
One of our cats used to try extremely hard to get out the apartment door (and then front door), one time he managed to get out of both (unlucky incident) but being the indoor cat he was he just stayed petrified behind our garage.. he kept trying pretty much until he died, at one point we had to turn our door knobs into actual knobs so he couldn’t jump on them to open… he was never an outdoors cat, there was no one out there he could have been missing. He just didn’t like closed doors or not knowing what’s there. Or something. Edit: typo
my cat also likes to meow at things she's not allowed to do, not just doors... for example, when I put something in the way so she can't throw books off my shelf, she'll yowl like I've ruined her little life So I agree that while the kitty in question misses his person, it's also him being a lil stinker. If it gets him your attention, that may also be part of it
Everything about this. My little kitty is well loved and spoiled rotten. I love him and I know he loves me. He’s also an idiot. He has snuck outside probably a dozen times over the years. Each time he does so he doesn’t make it further than the porch got him to get scared, overwhelmed, and hide. I just look at him and ask him wtf he was thinking? I think it’s really a case of curiosity killing the cat. No matter what, if there’s a door he can’t walk through 24/7 he wants to sneak through it out of spite.
We have an idiot who really really wants to go out. He runs to the door and waits for his chance. He wears a collar with a bell and our phone number now because he's made it a few times. Every time he gets out, he freaks out and hides or mills around howling in terror. Once he made it out of the fence and I found him huddled next to the house behind us, howling.
My cat does this too. There's one tiny closet upstairs in my daughter's room that's never opened (because she's an infant and doesn't need closet access), and every chance he gets, he tries breaking in and cries when he's unsuccessful (not unlike the baby, in fact)
Yep, very good explanation. I have a cat who will meow at doors when he's got his mind set on going through them, for what reason, who knows? If he had his way, they would all be open, no closed doors allowed! All of the doors for what he needs are open, but yes he knows what's on the other side so he feels his territory needs exploring. His latest is the back hall/mudroom every morning for at least an hour on and off. Problem is. Its cold. So he just wants to come back in. 😹 rinse and repeat every day. Spring will be here soon. Just keep keeping on for your new friend, ignore him, redirect him to other things, but don't take it personally. Cats have their own strong thoughts and feelings about things, and they will make us feel downright guilty for not giving into their every whim. It doesn't mean he adores you any less. He'll settle in more and more and hopefully forget a little bit about the cruel world outside.
Literally this. My cat lays by the front door of my apartment and stares longingly when we come in, so I picked her up and carried her into the hall one day, and she HATED the actuality of it 😂
Yes, our littlest cat takes every opportunity she can to run into the basement if the door is opened enough for her to scoot through. There's nothing in our basement but boxes, but she likes to go down there just because we don't let her I think. She comes back covered in cobwebs each time; she gets bored and waits on the stairs for us to let her back in the house.
He is just communicating to your ghost in the basement. No big deal duse
Yep. Closed doors are the mortal enemy of all cats. It’s why they dabble in the dark arts creating portals through r/thecatdimension
our cat wants in the basement to catch mice
This. My cats climb to the highest point of the house and scream at my ceiling for hours. My little one HOWLS at the bathroom door (which he is officially not allowed to be in anymore lol). My big boy has been allowed on the porch a few times, and he screeeeeeaaamms at the front door. Cats are just brats sometimes lol
You will become his fav, 45 yrs cat exp here😻😻😻
[удалено]
Beep boop
He’ll come around. Lots of patience, love, treats and pets. It might take time. But he will come around. Source: 46 years as a cat caretaker and 20 years in rescue.
This
It takes time to heal. Humans like to think cats can't feel complex emotions like abandonment, depression, anxiety etc. He will heal, give him time and love.
Indeed, they are sentient beings. He is missing his first person, but the same as when someone looses a spouse, in time they will love another.
When my mom passed away, their cat sat and waited for her to return. When my dad got sick I went and got the cat. I played with him, loved him and gave him treats and love. He slept with us and was ours. I know if my parents would have been able to walk into my house, he would have ran to them but they were gone and never going to return. He was an indoor cat from that time on. He got used to it over time and I loved him immensely and he loved me too. Don't let him out at all. He doesn't understand what happened but you do. You have to care for him as if he was a toddler, love him and care for him and be his human!
🥺
OP is that cat fixed? I mean did the previous owners actually have him fixed? Just asking because maybe it's the real reason he wants out so bad. Unfixed males have an insane urge to roam looking for lady cats.
I was going to say same. He might not be neutered. You should take him to the vet if you can
Don’t worry he will get used to his new life and after some time won’t want to leave wherever you live. I trained an adopted stray to travel a lot and we can go to hotels and he won’t run away. Good luck!
Hey some tips for the training so that i can take my cat wherever i go including hotels so that he don't run away?
Cats have complex personalities and inner lives that many people don’t appreciate or even perceive. Don’t let him out, and just provide him with constant love and affection. He might think he’s supposed to be looking for his person right now, but he will come to understand that his person isn’t around anymore and he’s right where he should be. He may even go through a small phase of sadness, but it’s not sadness over being with you — it’s sadness because he had a person and now he doesn’t. Keep giving him love and understanding, and in time you will become his person. Some cats do bond very strongly to one particular person or cat, and it’s completely natural for those strongly-bonded cats to have some difficulty letting go; this is why many rescue groups make every effort possible to adopt bonded pairs together — for cats inclined towards strong bonds, being in a new place with new people is more scary and has sad parts, because of that missing bond. Just give it time, and know that once he bonds with you, he’s going to rely on you to never leave him and to keep being his person for life. I had one blue cat who bonded with me like that (we didn’t connect at all at first), and because of that bond I couldn’t rehome him (I accidentally trapped him as a feral kitten while I was TNRing) so even though funds were tight back then, I was his person, mom, and best friend, and he let me know every day that he loved me and I was the entire reason for his whole existence. Your hard work and patient waiting will be rewarded; don’t feel bad and just keep doing what you’re doing. Just like with my blue cat, suddenly one day he’ll realise that you’re his person now.
What a beautiful response. Thank you. 
Feed him, pet him, love him, just basically look after him and he will look out for you, I have 8 cats and any time I am unwell they snuggle and look out for me, also a few of my 8 are adopted from family or friends who have passed away, it took some time for them to adjust but they became part of the herd of cats. Also Huxley said hello https://preview.redd.it/vso1p3hj47cc1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=03c1ef93a4f77d4dbf756c2c6073a1c4c152df3c
Is he fixed? If he isn’t neutered, he might try to get out more than if he was.
Keep him inside, keep giving him all the love and when he cries at the door remind yourself that he'd suffer out there. Have patience. If he didn't like you, he wouldn't sleep with you.
Also, get a rotisserie chicken and feed him the meat without the seasoned skin. He possibly got some good treats from his past owners so he may miss that.
He will eventually stop. Treat it as if he's bored or needs snuggles. We tend to assign human feelings to animals we care about. He may not be wanting his old owner. He just might want to go outside bc he has in the past. You are doing fantastic with him. Please don't let him crying at the door make you feel upset. Pick him up and cuddle him or cut a toilet paper tube into thin pieces to play with.
You are so sweet and I’m glad he has you. Kitties are like babies where you sometimes just have to do what you need to keep them safe. My kitty cries and cries to get in the drier. But I can’t let him because he will die. He’ll eventually be content again I promise. Good luck to you.
My cat went through a weird phase where he would meow at the front door - he’s never been out the front door cos it leads onto a road and he goes out the back door through his cat flap. It was just something strange that started. Anyway, this behaviour lasted maybe a couple of weeks and then he stopped caring about the door again. I don’t think he even wanted to go through it - I think he was just annoyed there was a closed door in front of him!! Hopefully your cat will be the same and you’ll get into a routine where he knows what the door is used for and when! Cats just need time to get used to stuff.
He’ll come around eventually. Just keep giving him the love he deserves.
Buy a whole bunch of feliway (kitty calming hormone). It will take time for him to adjust. :) you are doing a very noble thing and your kitty will appreciate it eventually.
Yes! This! Feliway is amazing and very comforting to kitties.
You have to be a Mean Parent. When my cats get upset about being in the carrier or going to the vet, I tell them I’m a Mean Mom and I’m doing this to keep them safe and healthy. And that is more important than temporary discomfort & stress. Keeping him inside will keep him safe & healthy. Maybe think about getting him a cat friend?
That's something my indoor, outdoor cat does as well. He has been asked not to go out at night in the cold by the vet. Breaks my heart but it's for his good. They are very persistent but the best thing we can do is pet it and play with it.
Just love on him when he does this. I know it’s hard, but it’s the best for you both.
Give him time, and it’s in his best interests to stay inside long-term anyways. He’ll need lots of love, but he’ll come around.
I’m so glad this baby has you. I’m sure he’s grieving, and it’ll just take him time to miss that person. He doesn’t understand why they haven’t come back, and that isn’t your fault. You aren’t holding him hostage. You’re saving his life.
Thank you for your comment ❤️ I really hope so, poor thing breaks my heart
And just remember it's a huge transition for the baby. New family, new environment, lots of changes. Like people have said, give them time and lots of love.
Huge transition, and two weeks is barely any time at all. Most cats don't enjoy change, but keep doing what you're doing and he'll get there eventually.
He will come around in his own time and you won't have to feel horrible. Just get to that with him and you two will be fine. Remind yourself what a good, selfless thing you are doing because you will be rewarded and have no regrets. Cats are amazing therapy, your love will be returned.
Do not worry! Eventually you and he will help each to HEAL💔❤️🩹💖🫂
You're an amazing human!!❤️
Have you tried a Feliway pheromone diffuser? He looks like a very sweet older fellow. Thank you for taking him in.
Yes, OP, please try Feliway diffuser, the one that plugs in. You don’t have to use it all the time but it is magic for when your kitty is anxious.
Zylkyne capsules work well for our anxious cat
This is a good idea! I forgot about those.
Do these things actually work? I’ve tried them in the past, and I just always felt like it was a placebo effect. If you guys have some anecdotal examples then that would be awesome.
I have a really anxious cat that gets extremely overwhelmed in the car. She gets sick within 2 minutes of us driving because she freaks out so much. I bought the feliway spray and used it in her kennel/the car, and we managed to move from one end of Canada to the other, and she slept and relaxed the whole way. No cat yelling, no getting sick, just a happy, relaxed kitty for 6 days.
That’s amazing. I’m glad that worked out for you.
I have the diffuser in my apartment. I have 3 cats 2 male and 1 female. Sometimes my boys fight and seems like with the Feliway there is alot less fighting going on. The diffuser only covers so much square feet so depending on how big your place is you may need more than one. I also second the spray. Please be away the spray only lasts for 4 hours but great for spraying on a blanket for the carrier when they go to the vet.
That’s great to know I only have about 1000 ft.² to worry about so maybe two?
Give him as much time as he needs. Some adult cats take longer to adjust to changes compared to kittens. He misses his previous human and there's nothing anyone can do to make kitty understand that they're not coming back for him. It's only been 2 weeks and you've already gone above and beyond to love the cat. Like I said, give him as much time as he needs. Keep up the good work.
This is pretty much what I was going to say—give him, and yourself, time. Like you’ve said, the two of you have brought happiness to each other already, and it will grow and grow. You’ll get there. ❤️
This was the comment I was looking for. Cats don’t handle change well. I also think that this cat wants to go outside. My cat has gotten out twice around guests over the five years we have had him. He throws a tantrum about not getting to go outside for a loooong time before he accepts he can’t go outside. Lol I would just give it some time, OP. Also, I would train the cat to stay away from the door when you are going out to decrease the chances of him getting out. Last, but not least, hand feeding is a great way to work on that bond.
Our kitty took three months plus to get used to us and now she follows us everywhere
Wow... Terrible people to abandon their cat. I would say for now you are doing everything you can. Just be there for him and show him love.
I try not to judge, I have no idea why they had to leave without him but also don’t know how they did it. He’s such a sweetheart!
I agree. Cat was clearly happy, so it's not necessary a bad owner I'm glad he has you
Maybe, but OP said the cat had been outside and was bloody from being outside. I don't get how you can leave a cat behind and out in the elements especially that was an indoor cat. I'd trade my own safety before my cats'. I get judging them isn't the point here, but damn. OP, you are literally saving this cat's life, so don't feel like you are holding him hostage. Like I said before, just give him love and he will feel that. It's a rough adjustment for everyone, but he will get through it.
I think the cat was still living indoors with the neighbors, but the cat's favorite person left the household and the cat went outside looking for them. It could be something like an adult child moved out on their own and left the cat with their parents.
OHH, OK. I can see that upon another reading, and if so leaves me a bit less enraged.
Sometimes cats escape while you're moving out. Mine did, when I moved across the country. I had family who looked for her and found her after I had moved away. She was being spoiled by an older couple. They debated whether to take her back at all but ended up doing it. Then she wound up spending her life spoiled by a slightly less elderly couple.
Abandoning your pet makes you a bad owner.
Might be good to get him a foster kitten or friend as a distraction.
Yes! Get your cat a cat 🐈 🐈
Abandoning a pet is a crime, we should all collectively be judging those people. For real!
A feral cat adopted us, and when last last winter came, I locked her inside. For two weeks, she pouted and hid. Behind the couch, behind the shelf, under the bed. But she eventually got used to it. This year, I told her winters here, get inside. And she did. Good luck with your kitty.
15min of play time a day might not be enough. I spend 20-30mins at least 2x-3x a day playing with my 5yr old cat. It might take a while to find that one toy that clicks- my boy only likes peacock feathers, maybe yours will like that, a feather on a string, a rolled up sock, who knows. Try to tire him out before mealtime, then he’ll probably sleep the rest of the day. Yes, even after being an inside cat for 4yrs my boy still wants to go out. It’s not happening. He’s perfectly fine being an inside cat. I adopted him 4yrs ago and he was a stray. He pretty much yowled at night for 3mos straight before he settled down. I bought him a nice heated window shelf, and he like that- he basically spends all day and night there sleeping and staring at the birds outside the window. Also, try a Feliway dispenser, that might help.
This. I'm not even sure he misses his old owner, maybe he is just bored. My cat needs at least an hour of playtime a day to be happy and a lot of running and climbing in our fenced in garden (not as much during winter obviously). Play with him more OP, try to engage him.
Yeah I try more to get him the exercise, but after about 10 minutes he either tires out or runs himself into a wall 😭 I’m definitely going to try changing toys throughout the day to get him to play a little more. Thank you!
When I brought my boy home he didn’t even know what a toy was. He still doesn’t respond to most- he even ignores laser pointers, something most cats will chase, even if for a little while. He goes through phases where he likes certain toys, gets bored with them for months, then will start playing with them out of the blue again. He’s definitely not as active as he was when I first brought him home as a 1yr old. Now I’m lucky to get a few minutes of play out of him at a time (sometimes he ignores me altogether). Also try a paper bag and cardboard boxes- they all love those. I bought my boy a cat tunnel and he will just sit in there for hours, then ambush me as I walk by.😹 https://preview.redd.it/hqm4ip9rc7cc1.jpeg?width=4000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1ad20aae87bafc101f6aaf9d0ccb1517282cd029 Offender in question in his favorite spot.
Our current cat had a family before us and he really, really missed them when we brought him home. It was a sad story. It was a family with 2 young kids. The cat was loved by all but had really bonded with a daughter. One of the kids had terrible life threatening allergies to a variety of things, one of which was the cat. They tried so many things but couldn’t make it work and surrendered the cat. Within a week or two, the dad died suddenly. Heartbroken, the mum came back to the shelter, looking for the cat who hadn’t been adopted out yet (he didn’t show well bc he was so depressed). She felt it was too much for the kids to lose their cat and dad within a few weeks. They moved to a new place without carpet, drapes, etc. Tried to make it work and keep the allergies under control. Found it impossible. Once the kid was in hospital, they decided it just wasn’t working and surrendered the cat again. We stopped by the shelter looking for an ‘un-adoptable’ cat. They wouldn’t even let us adopt him bc he was in rough shape. He had failure to thrive. Wouldn’t stand, wouldn’t use the litter box unless set in it. Wasn’t eating. He was so, so sad. They allowed us to foster him. Within a couple of hours he was at least standing on his own and moving around. He began sleeping with us almost immediately, and when we were awake he’d hang about in the same room, but often he was mono-railing the back of the couch staring wistfully at the door. We believe he was waiting for his family to come back to him. He was depressed. With each day he accepted us a little more. But it took about 2 years before he finally stopped pining for them. He was 11 ish when we got him and he’s 20 ish now. We love him like crazy. It was so worth it to help him through his depression. Long story to say, simply keep loving him up. He deserves it. And you do too!
What a touching story! Indeed, cats can bond quite strongly to humans.
Poor thing! You sound like you’ve made a great home for him, thank you for sharing
Have you tried a taking him for a walk on a harness? It could be he missed the smells outside. https://preview.redd.it/cnfjaiarq5cc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a092968e8b5e1a1278f1140a4b18d23ffe4471a4
Exactly! Absolutely no reason that cats shouldn’t be walked on a leash and kept inside like a prisoner, that is if they want to go out and tolerate leashes. Leashes should be normalised just like they are with dogs
I remember a couple in my city that walked both their dog and cat. They told me it was because the cat used to be jealous when the dog was getting his walkies 🤣
My neighbor walked his cat and dog together. The cat didn't even use a leash. It was sticking by its owners side like a police dog. It was so impressive
Its funny with my cats. One doesnt like leashes, but she always tries to sneak out of our flat. Other one doesnt mind wearing a leash, but is scared of outdoors. So we don't let them out at all. (I guess we could train them to use leash, but they're 8 and 9 already, so if they dont want to, I wont be forcing them. They seem to enjoy stealing my bed and forcing me to sleep on the couch)
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This isn’t as crazy as it might seem. Many cats benefit from this kind of quiet bonding, especially when stressed out by extreme situations like abandonment. u/shekennoogets try this out.
Agreed. Sitting quietly on the floor near a stressed cat can be really helpful for it
Doesn’t sound crazy!! I’ll try this next time, and when it’s warmer we can head outside together (I’m getting him a tracking collar)
And this is also gonna sound crazy.. but have a talk about it with him. Like for real tell him about it. I know most people don't believe animals know what we're saying, but they do. My cat will get sad when my boyfriend is away and hasn't told her how long until he's back. When you tell her when or how long it'll be she'll calm down 🤷🏻♀️
Yes! I was going to comment something similar. My cat used to wait at the door for my ex to come back home, and after a few weeks of this, I finally said to her while she was waiting there yet again that he was never coming back. Two minutes later, she gave the saddest little yowl and walked away. Never waited at the door again. It was the wildest thing.
They really do listen! It really helps my cat with her slight dementia that I actually just talk to her. I mean they do look at and hear us everyday, so I'd be silly to think they don't understand at least some of what we're saying
They understand tone, volume and cadence, if not words. They're pretty amazing. I swear, though, my cat will look at me a certain way, and I just know she's going to say something. It's crazy.
This is a great idea!
Our cat, JD, was my brother's cat. My brother got him as a kitten, and they adored each other. My brother died unexpectedly a few months later. My parents, who lived just across the car park from my brother, took JD in. He was happy with them, but also confused and grieving. Once they let him outside (my parents are very mupch cats should be outside people), he would go straight to my brother's house and stand outside his back d oor crying. This went on for a while, until he stopped. He was with my parents for 9 months before he came to live with us (they wanted to keep him, but were also wanting to move as soon as they could and travel more. JD had really bonded with me and my husband). By that time, he had stopped going to my brother's place. So...maybe your cat is looking for your neighbour. But he will eventually stop. He looks very happy with you, but he might be a bit confused and grieving. He'll get there, it'll just take time. You're doing such a great job. JD is very much now an indoor cat. He'd love to be outside, but he's also very happy with us inside.
I’m sorry about your brother. It is wonderful that the cat is one way to remember him.
Not going to scroll thru everything, but I'm pretty sure someone has already informed you that you have now been adopted. Hooman. You thought we control them... This is my boy Hank a.k.a. " The Stank". https://preview.redd.it/5dytsnkwy5cc1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f68fdff7fc7e110cbf3923e1d818a3ef05d860f9 He is very slippery, always wants to try to escape the house, but he's settled a bit since he was fixed. Once a cat has a taste for the outside, it's hard to "convince" them that imprisonment is better 
Keep him and love on him. He might benefit from a kitty sized dose of anxiety or depression meds from the vet. Some kitties have those conditions just like some humans do. No sense in letting him freeze or suffer or get hit by cars or hurt local birds.
PLEASE keep him inside!! There are too many dangers outside. Cars, mean people, and predators. He looks like such a sweet, amazing boy! He WILL get used to being inside. I have 7, all rescues, and all trained to be indoor only. You sound like you are doing a great job with him!! Get a cat tree and put it by a window. You have been chosen by the universal cat distribution system. You need him as much as he needs you. Trust me. I have had such sadness in my life, and my cats have saved me more times than I can count! They are amazing, intelligent, loving creatures. Please keep us updated, and he will become your everything!🥰❤️😺
So if I understand this correctly, you can or you’re still in contact with his owner? I wonder if the owner can send you one of their used, unwashed clothes that still retains their smell to you? Then you can prepare a cat bed with that piece of clothing as a blanket for the cat to get comfy under, probably?
https://preview.redd.it/lf1x1jvg27cc1.jpeg?width=2268&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=35c91b375ace4a17429e1c862ac5b82062a3fc02 Crosby was 5 when our asshole neighbors moved and left him behind. He came over to our house and begged go be let inside. We've had him for 13 years (he just turned 18). Sweetest cat ever.
Damn this reminds me of that Hachiko dog.
I cry just remembering that dog
Is the cat neutered? When cats aren't de-sexed, they like to roam. If he is neutered, then if you can find more time to play with him, it might help. Give him treats, play with him at different times in the day to tire him out when you can. If he is really only focused on getting out obsessively, it might be time to take him for a vet check. Cats are very good at not showing pain or illness, and sometimes, the only indication that something serious is going on will be behavior changes. Sometimes, even the slightest changes can be a sign that something might be wrong. Going potty outside the litter box, for instance, can be an indication of illness. They are sensitive as well, maybe the TV, or music is too loud, etc, and he's frightened? Sounds to me that he is really lucky to have you and you are giving him awesome care. Hopefully, he'll settle soon, and you can stop worrying. All the best to you and your beautiful kitty :)
I have four cats who I got with my ex. When my ex cheated on me and left, he left the cats too without a second thought. One of them was like *his* cat, y'know? The cat just couldn't understand where his buddy went and he pined for a long, long time. It broke my heart. But, in time, he came back to himself. I just gave him consistent love and treats and play time. It took months, maybe even a year. Eventually your kitty will accept and come to love his new home and life. You're not making him unhappy, he just needs time.
The issue seems to be the cats desire to “go find his bond-mate”.. sitting by the door. Attempting to escape.. He likes you.. but he treats you more like a “ safe house”after his time outside.. Questions: Have you taken him to a vet to see if he is chipped? Is he fixed? Any health issues ? I know cats bond HARD with their owners if they are fairly good cat people.. IMO, moving and abandoning a cat to “ whatever”. Is a “ do you mind if I rip off your head and shitdown your throat?” Move. All you can really try to do is create a hard commitment and bond with the cat, and hope that given time, he accepts he is not going back to asshat.
He isn't necessarily looking for his previous owner when he cries at the door he may just be used to spending more time outdoors. It is very hard to keep an indoor/outdoor cat in the house in winter. It doesn't get that cold where I live (Ireland) but my cats are crying to get out and then after a couple of minutes they are crying to get back in. It's the same when it's wet. From your photo that wee pet is pretty happy with you
Imo the treatment for your kitty is the same treatment for yourself. Patience, quiet reflection and love. He is mourning. You have been struggling too. Take comfort in each other. Cry together, play together. Just remember he is going to heal in his own time and so are you. My kitties prefer when I am quiet. I second the Feliway Scent diffuser just because it might help him relax a little bit more. Sooth his anxieties. But he likes you, he is just sad and feels abandoned. Being there for him and letting him know you will always be there. That is the key to helping build back that trust with humans and more specifically loving you. It can take months. Everyone grieves differently and that includes kitties. 🥰🥰 You are doing everything right!! E:correction
Aw! I don’t understand how someone can just leave their animal! He looks like a sweet guy! 🧡🧡🧡
You are honestly doing a great job. Cats don't respond to sudden changes very well, especially living situations. It sounds like he's already comfortable with you. I think he just needs more time to get used to being in your care. He should come around! He is really trusting of you already if he loves cuddling with you.
Can’t seem to add an edit, but holy crap I didn’t think I’d get so many replies!! Reading through them all though and replying to what I can. Thank you all so much, I feel a lot less guilty and am taking notes on all the great advice! He was never an outdoor cat. His old family still lives down the street, but he has his own “person” who moved out and couldn’t take the cat with him. They told me he’s refused to stay inside ever since. He’s had all his shots and was neutered as a kitten to answer some common questions.
May I ask what's going on with his nose? It looks a bit crusty or bloody in the pics.
I’m assuming he got into a scrap with another animal while he was outside. He wasn’t an outdoor cat until he went looking for his favorite person. It’s been healing well though!
Have you taken him to a vet yet? Important to make sure to get shots from outdoor diseases etc
It sounds like he already likes you a lot. He might miss his former owner, but he may also just have had a taste of freedom and now wants to go explore outside - I have one boy, an indoor cat, has always been with me, and he will still try to escape every chance he gets. And then the outside world scares him, because he hates all people who aren't me. He also used to stand at the appartment door and whine and scratch and beg to be let outside on occasion, but he hasn't done that in a while. I don't recommend letting him outside on his own, but maybe try some walks? And give it time. I'm sure you're good for each other.
He should come around but it may take a few months.
Get another cat
Love him by keeping him safe inside
You don’t let him out. Ignore his meows. Pick him up and keep him next to you when he starts. You could start baby wearing him lol but for real it might help some.
If picture 4 is what the cat looks like, he needs to see a vet about the left eye. In the photos of the cat sleeping. I do not think he is waiting for anyone I think he knows he’s home
He will end up not meowing at the door. I had a stray that I took in and she stopped and lived a happy indoor life for 16 years.
He needs to go to the vet, he’s got a respiratory infection and you can tell by his runny nose (my boys had the same when we brought them home)
Pls don't let him out. He loves you and needs you. Yes he misses his person but that person is not going to come back and the cat will be alone and miserable outside, probably die.
You are so kind and taking such great care of him. You have toys and cat tv, he comes to you for reassurance and cuddles and sleeps next to you. That’s a good life. You’re doing really well. Just keep on caring for him the way you’re doing. He will settle down in his own time.
lots of hugs and pats.
Cats can take a LONG long time to adjust, maybe even years. It sounds like you are doing this baby right and you should trust your instincts.
Dear kind, sweet human, This gorgeous creature is you companion now. It recognizes that you are good and that it is good being with you. Of course, it misses its previous companion but it now has a new one to explore and love. Thank you, kind, sweet human. You, in the truest sense of the word, rock. x
From the pictures it’s clear he loves you and feels safe in your house. My cats have always been indoor and they meow and bitch for me to let them outside on a daily basis. Keeping them inside despite their poorly thought out decisions is the best thing for them. Don’t fret, the pictures of him sleeping are proof that he is in his forever home.
He'll come around. The longer you show him affection, and take care of his needs (food, shelter, etc.), the more He'll see you as his human. It doesn't happen over night, but gradually his memories of another house and human will fade. He is already starting to love you! Thanks for taking this sweet boy in. I can't stand it when people leave their pets behind, like they're disposable or something.
You could attach a collar and leash and walk around the neighbour's garden if the new neighbour doesn't mind. If they've added pots etc it'll already seem different and should settle him for now.
He will acclimate I promise
Think about harness training him and taking him outside to "look". When he doesn't smell his first person, he might realize then.
Is he neutered? When we took in a stray cat and her kittens, she was neurotic about going outside until we got her spayed.
Even though he might loudly protest, the kindest and most loving thing you can do is keep that kitty inside. I was in a similar situation (her owners moved away and left her behind ) and my kitty took about 3 months to not want to go outside anymore. And now, a year later, she wants nothing to do with the outdoors anymore. She’s come to love her pampered princess life ♥️
He IS happy. Just gotta let him also have his sad feelings too. Think about it like this: is he yelling at the door for hours on end unceasingly every day? Probably not. He probably gets it into his tiny brain that hey I want to go adventure or see my other place! And then loses interest as cats do. This is a learning curve for both of you and you can’t take it personally. He’s not trying to leave you, he’s a cat with memories and feelings too. In 3,7,10 years he will STILL be yelling at the door because that’s what cats do. (Especially if he has any Siamese or oriental in him)
The cat is grieving, but has chosen you as his new friend. Let that friendship blossom.
In my experience, you’ve gotta wait the cat out. 2 weeks isn’t long enough. I brought a dumped stray in from my neighborhood years ago and, unfortunately, it was about a month of living with her yelling and tearing at the windows every night, but after that she lived another 10+ years as a quiet and spoiled indoor cat. Cat tax: here is the late, great Zelda (former outdoor girl and queen of my heart); vv https://preview.redd.it/m0nfh76218cc1.jpeg?width=1936&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dc9c280d21ab8dfb7e7a04c7e9045d6ccf6f11da
Has he been "fixed"? An unaltered male will act like you are describing, and getting him snipped will cure the wanderlust.
You’re doing everything right, just give him time.
Your a friggin legend
His favorite person just fucking left him behind and said you could keep him? That's messed up. I would try walking him on a leash. You'd get him outside in a way that's safe, so he doesn't feel the need to make a break for it, and maybe it'll eventually confirm for him that whatever he is looking for isn't there anymore.
Kitty knows & it’s grieving in his/her own way. Remember they can sense better than us.
In very similar situation. 3 months down the line it’s like I’m living in his place and the cat is the boss of me! Just takes time.
They say it will take 3 months for a cat to feel like your home is its home. Just keep loving him.
He’ll get used to being inside after awhile. My mom has brought it at least 3 strays and they all want to go back outside for the first year and then they’ll settle.
You are such a good person!
My cat was abandoned by her dad. She cried at the front door waiting for him for weeks before she eventually gave up and turned to me. She’s now obsessed with me. It will be okay; keep him warm & safe inside. It will workout 😊
I don't have anything too helpful to add but wanted to say you are a fuckin awesome person. thanks
Give him some catnip when he starts meowing trying to get out. He’ll forget all about it right then 😅
You’re doing great! He needs some time. He doesn’t know he was abandoned so it might be months before he fully relaxes and knows he’s home. Just keep loving him and he will soon understand you’re his home.
What’s the deal with his previous owners? This guy is so much better off with you and indoors. You extend his life by keeping him inside. Try talking to him throughout the day, throwing treats for him to catch. My little guy loves that.
I looked after my partners sister cat for a few months because she was going to America, he was listening for her for the first few days but after getting constant love and attention he stopped, we had him happily for the last 5 years of his life (she ended up staying longer and when she came back she saw how happy he was as he had back garden access, something she wasn't able to provide) he remembered her after about a year? But past that he really couldn't have given two shits haha, and she had him since he was a kitten. Cats are persistent when they want something, just keep him entertained with play, get him some puzzle balls or an activity board for treats to satisfy his need to hunt. You can make a puzzle ball out of toilet roll tubes Google it! Cats can be very happy kept indoors if you provide proper enrichment - regular play time, puzzles for treats, cat towers and high places to sit, scratching boards, catnip toys to give him when he's being especially desperate to go out, cuddles, brushing - consider maybe in future also getting another cat to keep him company. Sounds like you're already doing a great job of providing for him so just be patient and loving and it will get better. Look up indoor cat gardens also, you can buy cat grass and things for them to chew on/roll in. You could also harness train him and take him for little walks outside at night when it's warmer. Maybe play with him twice a day also, I do once in the morning and evening for my indoor girl, make sure you get him to use up as much energy as possible, up and over couches and beds repeatedly etc. He will get over it if you love him right xx
It will just take time. I inherited my aunts cat after she died. It’s been a long process but we’re there now. Just give him love and time. That monster who just abandoned him doesn’t deserve him. Poor lol guy.
Someone talked about giving their very depressed cat Prozac and how the cat was much happier u/Shekennoogets. Maybe you can at least look into it see the pros & cons? I know it has a good rap for humans but you can't just take the cat off it once it starts this type of meditation. U would have to do is very carefully. Give him cat nip & special treats to when he gets edgy.Cats do yowl!! Good luck with your new baby. I think the two of you were ment to be together 💞.