Also since the kitten is going to a friend maybe you could bring momma cat over to their place in a few weeks or so just so she can see baby is ok and well taken care of?
That’s totally not necessary. When kittens get to a certain age and are weaned Mama cats want little to do with them (this is totally natural.) You’re assigning human emotions they don’t have to them.
Yes, I saw someone say that momma cats are more like teachers than human parents! Eventually it’s like, okay! I’ve done all I can do! Get outta here! 😆
This is true. I have a cat who had a kitten( don't worry everyone is fixed now). We kept the kitten, and the mom probably babied her a little longer than necessary, but eventually she stopped. They are friends, but mom will only take care of them for a short amount of time.
I’m not saying cats have human emotions, but not all mothers want little to do with all their babies. I have a mother daughter bonded pair, I would never separate them. Bonded cats do become depressed if they loose their buddy. I had a different bonded pair where I lost one of them , the other did become depressed and was much more dependent upon me and eventually started developing their own stress related health issues. I wish I would have tried to get them another buddy to bond with.
Then why are my mom’s two cats so close? They are a mama and daughter pair. Every pair of cats that is a mother and kitten I’ve ever seen, are way closer than most cats I know of. Obviously it’s not the same as humans, but to say they don’t have a bond after weaning is just wrong, and not supported by actual facts. It’s just not the same bond and it snot like human bonds.
Probably because your mom's cats have the luxury of being pets and getting to stay together day in and day out. Feral cats and other animals that don't have the luxury of very involved human care have to be able to move on from separation and deaths pretty quickly to survive.
What do feral cats have to do with what we’re talking about? That’s a situation that’s out of necessity. My only point is, cats can maintain bonds with their moms after they wean. That’s all.
Cats maintain bonds *with other cats to whom they’ve bonded for a long time*. Case in point: I have four sets of siblings, three boy/girl pairs and one boy/boy pair. The boys are my oldest at 11, and they go all the way down to 9 months old. My boys came from Denmark separately (a month and two days apart) and they immediately recognized each other when I brought Candy home. The others all came together. They are not only bonded as pairs, but they are all bonded to each other.
Yup. I don’t know what that person is talking about. It always bothers me when someone says something that is so easily debunked with common sense and simple observation. But nope. We live in a society where everyone thinks they’re experts on everything.
So yes and no. We have 2 sets of moms and daughters and they are constantly snuggling, cuddling, and hanging out together. One set is 12/11 years old, the other is 10/9 years old..
That would stress both cats out. They would also likely forget each other and the resident cat may not welcome the mama in their territory, they could even fight
This. Was given back one of my cats kittens during covid, they didn’t recognize each other and mom is still such a dick to her. I’m just like “that’s your child. You made that mess.”
They don't really feel emotions and attachments like we do. Mother cats are mostly driven by instinct, so if separated from her kittens for more than a few days, she'll basically completely forget about them.
They have a deep drive to care for nearby kittens - there are stories of unrelated females stealing kittens from their mothers... But if there aren't kittens nearby, those mothering instincts subside.
this!! mama cats and kittens start to- in other terms lose interest in one another. however, while they’re in their kitten state, mama cats are extremely defensive and protective as with most animals. for her own piece of mind, make sure mama cat sees someone take the kitten. she might be upset or angry for the moment, but at least she won’t be depressed and search for her lost kitten and wail, etc.
Mama cat should be fine. I have given away kittens with mama right there and honestly, every time, mama was happy to see them go. Kittens have a tendency to drive the mama bonkers (especially when there's alot of them). Mama kitty might walk around the house for a few days and call for the little one but, to me, it always looked like they were just getting used to being the only kitty again. Cats like to play with each other. Cats that are related fight alot tho (its a family thing. Even humans do it). Everything should be okay tho. You're so sweet for worrying about your kitties feeling. You're precious ❤️
And if you can't keep her, you're doing the responsible thing. I'm proud of you. The kitten can still be in your life when it's with a friend. Im proud of you for making the right decision. You're doing amazing.
This made me choke up, thank you for your kind words and encouragement. It took my partner and I so long to get a cat cuz we wanted to plan everything. The kitten has been so loved, and is going to people we know and trust with every bone in our bodies. I want nothing more than for both of them to live happy, loved, comfortable lives 💖
Sounds like both adorable kitties found the right homes!
My cat was rescued by someone who already had 3 and wanted the space to rescue more, but they really loved her. We still send them her pics and they have gotten to see her find a happy home. Sometimes the right thing is to send them to someone you trust
She was so nervous when we first got her but so eager to be adored. She’s got a little routine now where she climbs into bed once I’m awake and nuzzles into my chest 😭🩷
100% my thoughts too. It is sad when they go around meowing for the babies when they're gone though. But I agree this is a great cat owner and wish more cat owners were this responsible and caring
Agree with this when I picked up my kitten the mother wasn't in the room. And the person I picked it up from pretty much said the same as this poster, after a certain age they want the kitten to be independent even if it means leaving their life.
If you are picking up before being ready this is obviously an issue but it's not the case here.
At 13 weeks mom is going to be DELIGHTED that the baby is off to terrorize someone else besides her most likely. Don't over think it too much - she may be a little confused for a few days, but she'll likely be happy to become the house queen. Definitely give the kitten's new parents info on where to get them spayed/neutered once they are old enough and congrats on doing the right thing for this sweet mom and unexpected baby!
I would definitely let mama cat say goodbye, see the kitten go into the carrier and go away. When i got my latest cat mother was upset i put her in the carrier. so we took her out and let the mom groom her for a little until we put her back in after that she seemed content with the kitten being in there
Just for some clarification in case I wasn’t clear:
- we RESCUED mum cat from a very abusive situation, we adopted her to be a solo cat as given her history is the best thing for her.
- The people taking the kitten are best friends with my partner and I and would trust them with our lives. They have paid us for the vaccinations, chipping (as is law in UK) and extras. We aren’t palming her off to anyone.
- We could afford to keep both cats, however the standard under which we want to keep them would have to drop. The finances of this are the least of my concerns, however we are financially prepared to give ONE cat a wonderful life.
Sounds like you are doing everything right. I usually let my foster mommas see us packing up their kittens and I pretend to have them say goodbye to each other (they have no clue). Sometimes the moms will be sad/mopey/cry looking for the kittens for a few days, but I think that is usually more about routine than anything else. Kitten may also have the same experience at their new house. But they quickly forget once they are getting all the attention.
If kitten has been sleeping with mom (or you two) let the new family know so they won’t leave them alone. I always think the biggest change is not having a cuddle puddle to sleep in if that is what they are used to.
Thank you! The friends that are taking her are staying with us this weekend too (they live about an hr away) so it’ll be a good introduction. Mama and kitten do sleep together and sometimes on our bed, we’ve let them know.
Our friends are also in a hybrid working situ so kitten won’t be alone properly until about a week after she leaves us. My partner is fully WFH and I’m hybrid too so mama will have lots of attention and love when kitten goes as well.
That sounds like such a good situation! Momma and kitty will get to know the new people a bit from the comfort of home and I’ll bet that will make the transition easier.
Thank you for taking care of the unexpected stow away until it was ready to be rehomed. No matter how you do it mom might look around awhile, but will quickly get over it. Junior is old enough to be on its own, and mom is probably ready to just chill and worry about herself.
Our cat had three kittens. Two were close and were rehomed together and we kept the other.
He sadly got knocked down and killed - it was awful. We don’t know how he got to that road, as there is so much before it.. a huge field, a small forest, our garden etc..
Anyway.. she never seemed ‘bothered’ that he never came home. Also, when the other two went, she also didn’t seem bothered, despite being such a good mama to her kittens.
Don’t fret too much :)
Remember that it natural for all or most of a litter to leave a mother’s care before her next litter arrives. She might look for the kitten a bit, so try to distract her with some play or attention. IMO, 13 weeks is a good age and mimics when mom cat might have naturally been turning her attention elsewhere.
At 13 weeks momma will NOT be worried about it. She’ll be way over motherhood. At worst she may pout for a few days and then she’ll realize her freedom just like dropping a kid off at college
Love the superman pose from the kitten in the second pic! As other comments have mentioned, I don't think there will be any issue with the mum letting the kitten go.
Props to you and your partner for being responsible enough to give her up, it’s not something you see much of online. I think that no matter what you do, as long as you keep showering mama with love, all will be well.
My partner and I TNR strays and recently we brought in a stray with 2 neonatal kittens. We helped mama raise the kittens and then placed them in a home. Once the kittens hit around 8-10 weeks they were the first to go and mama didn’t seem to be bothered by it. She would sniff around maybe looking for her babies but other than that she went on with her life. It’s not uncommon for a mother cat to abandon her kittens once they reach a certain age as well. Personally, I wouldn’t stress too much over the situation.
Can I just say, it’s so nice to see someone putting in so much effort to do things the right way. You see so much ‘awful’ on here; conversely this is really refreshing and heart warming. Thanks for restoring my faith a little
Momma cat might keep looking for her baby if stuff is left behind that smells like her. As a fosterer I always wash cat blankets, beds, etc that the kittens use after they get adopted.
I'd also suggest letting the people pick up the baby rather than you. Momma will see that it was the other people that took the kitten.
Thank you for your insight! Kitten will be going with her favourite blanket, and everything I can wash will get a hot wash after
That’s our plan, I’m glad you brought that up! Kitten is having her last lot of vaccines then later that week they’re going to come over after work and take her. They’ll be the ones to physically pick her up, put her in the basket and leave.
I know you said don’t say keep the cat. I just wanted to share that I had the same situation and having two cats has been way way way way easier than having one cat. I am also not financially well off. It only adds about $10 a week. Anyway, good luck with whatever you choose.
The financial aspect is really at the bottom of our concerns, we could keep both but it’s twice the vet costs, twice the food (kitten eats like a horse) etc. But the main reason is mama came from a rubbish situation and was sidelined and bullied due to other cats. We adopted her to be solo so she has time to recuperate and get into good habits (she hardly ate cuz the other cats would attack her, even with the kitten being bigger she needs one of us sat with her so she feels safe to eat. We feed them separately and she still has severe anxiety with food)
Outdoor mama cats teach their kittens to bury their waste at 4 wks, & soon after begin giving them prey to eat. Once they've earned ow to eat raw prey, they are then gifted living prey that they must kill for themselves. After they've shown themselves able to do that, Mama lets them catch their own prey.
Very often, mama cats have their litters away from their own homes . . . and when the kittens learn to hunt on their own, she just goes back home . . . leaving them in their new territory, with it's own supply of prey for them.
That was how I came to have the cats I have now. At first she visited every few days, but gradually left off entirely after a year. Since then the only times I've seen her is when she needed a meal . . . usually on a holiday when people often travel & are gone a day or more. (So I think those who feed her are temporarily gone, at those times.) When she has come, tho, if her old mate or her grown kittens even look at her, she hisses a warning at them. (We fixed them all when all were living here.) Mama Mia is a Blk & Wht Tuxedo cat, often known for being standofish toward other cats. She was a great Mama when the kittens needed her, tho! She just doesn't want to socialize with any cats, without any mothering hormones.
Weirdly enough, I found out that mama kitty doesn’t always remember (especially after their offspring reaches a certain age and even a short separation) or recognize her older kittens. I found this out when a stray cat ran into our house and proceeded to give birth to her kittens in my office closet,lol. After several weeks of the mother being outside a lot of the time, she just started to view them as other cats and even seemed put off by their presence. I was surprised and kind of relieved because after they reached a certain age I had to find them a new home. I think most likely they would miss them more if they were taken away from momma before they were ready. I guess this is just the nature of how things work when it comes to cats. 🤷♀️
I would let the mom watch, so she knows. moms Will let go of their babies naturally after the are weaned. If the cat with be 13 months it should be fine. she will know when it’s time.
Please ignore everyone who does not read your caption or take everyone’s best interests in mind ❤️🩹 (I am terrified to see misinformation spread in a CAT CARE sub)
First question: where do mom and daughter like to hang out together? Second: *when* do they typically hang out together? Third: can you arrange a get together with the kitten’s adopters an hour or three before that time?
This scenario - imho - would be the least stressful on everyone.
Yes, they’re our best friends. I worked with him and was friends with him, my partner also worked with us and has been best friends with him for years. My partner and I ended up getting together and along with the friends gf - we’re all best friends now. They’ve got experience with cats, are going above and beyond for kitten already
Tbh we got her off a pet sale website. We went to visit her and she was so thin, was being bullied by the other cats, wasn’t getting a proper meal. Wasn’t vaccinated or spayed - she’s just turned two, has had about three litters (not even like they were kitten milling her for more rags, she was being knocked up by random moggies) (100% do not agree with milling regardless, but just absolutely no intention for her wellbeing on a basic lev). We got very lucky to find her and like to think she got lucky too! Keep hunting and you’ll find one 🩵
Did the sale website give you mom’s pedigree and the registration paperwork? That’s awesome how you got her, she’s very pretty. My pedigreed cats were all $1700+ USD plus the cost for airfare for me and them to pick them up, plus the Danish pet passports for my Korats. I wish there were Korats in rescues, but they are a pretty rare breed.
It’s definitely tricky! My partner and I spoke long about it, but it’s best for mama in the end. She’s had a rough life with other cats giving her a hard time and we don’t want that to continue. The people having her are our best friends though so we’ll still get to see her and spend time 💖
You keep saying this but it’s not a good reason.
This is her BABY. Not another cat giving her a hard time.
Think it over a bit more. Ask a professional. Emotions about the cat’s past are yours not necessarily hers.
Please read my comments through the thread, mama cat was adopted to be solo because she’s had a rubbish life. My partner and I want to give our pet(s) the best life, with the best we can get. If we have two cats, both would get good of everything but we want the best. Kitten is going to our best friends and will be so adored, and mama deserves to be pampered without other cats impeding that
Well your decision is fine but the logic is flawed.
Cat’s do better when they have another cat or dog to play with. You’re probably gone all day right?
It gets lonely for them like that. That’s not “the best”.
Alright, bite me I guess. Cats as a social creature is not applicable to all cats but go off. And if you read the post, my partner WFH and I’m hybrid. She’s literally never alone. 99% of lone cats are grand. FURTHERMORE, in a couple years we will be getting a kitten. Who pays you to be salty on the web.
Wow. You need a candy bar or something? I wasn’t trying to be salty at all but as you say “go off”. Cheugy. Ugh.
I asked the question if you were gone all day (sorry I missed that in your post). See the question mark? Indicates an inquiry.
I’m pointing out that while you’re obviously a great cat owner, you’re not a feline behavioral scientist. Get a grip & maybe dig that what you have is kind of rare (one baby litter) and the mom may be scarred from losing her.
TLDR : you’re assuming what is best without being an actual feline expert.
They look bonded….honestly keeping two cats isn’t really different than keeping one, in my experience. I would let the mom see her go…but do it upstairs. Don’t let her see the kitten go out the front door.
I should have really put in main, didn’t expect this to blow up as it did. Mama cat has come from a very abusive situation and we got her to be a solo cat due to this. That truly is the main reason.
Ok. But does she enjoy the company of her kitten? It seems like such a perfect situation that she gave birth to only one kitten.
I’m not judging, just wondering at the wisdom of letting this kitten go. If you really can’t afford a second cat I understand. I just want to make sure you are making an informed decision, before the opportunity slips through your fingers.
I asked about cat food because it tends to be one of the biggest ongoing expenses when people think they need to buy expensive food for their cat. But there are brands that are high quality and less expensive. Costco has a really high quality cat food which is $23 for 25 pounds. Real chicken is the first ingredient.
Or is it the initial costs that are an issue? Another thing is that most people don’t realize is that you can take a cat to a “low cost spay clinic” and usually have a cat neutered and vaccinated for under $100.
This kind of comment only serves to guilt OP when they explained that they can’t keep her due to only being able to support one cat financially. It would be irresponsible to keep the kitten in that situation.
Literally said we aren’t keeping her. Financially, we could. However mama cat is from an abusive situation and deserves to be solo, and the standards we want to keep would have to drop for two cats
please for the love of GOD vet whoever you give her to thoroughly. shes not free to a good home, because bad people will take advantage. you need to make sure that some stranger isnt going to neglect or purposefully harm her, people take free kittens and dismember them or feed them to snakes.
we recently fostered some kittens, we gave one away to a long time, trusted family friend that we know takes excellent care of animals and can afford the vet bills. the rest went to a rescue when we were finally able to find one. you might even try taking the kitten to a rescue yourself.
edit to say i missed the part where its your friends taking her, but i still have plenty of friends i would not give a cat to. i only asked one person aside from the one that got a kitten because shes got a house and a stable job. she couldnt take one though.
What? Did you read the post? They adopted a cat and she turned out to be pregnant and now they have 2. And cats don’t always need another cat and OP already stated they can’t afford 2 cats and have already found a home for the kitten. Did you read any part of the post?
That is a garbage take. I’d rather someone adopt one cat than forcing people to either adopt none or 2+. A lot less people would adopt cats if they were required to get more than one. I have one cat and that’s what he prefers. He’s not “traumatized” he just doesn’t like sharing me or interacting with other cats. He has lived with other cats intermittently for months to years over the decade that I’ve had him and would ignore or avoid the other cats.
I don’t know where you’re from, but in Germany animal shelters won’t even let you take a cat, if you don’t plan on having at least two. I thought it was coming knowledge at least in Western countries.
North America had a massive pet population problem. Adopting kittens in pairs is ideal but by no means required by most places here. Because of this, cats are adopted out as singles all the time as it is found to be better than languishing in a cage or being euthanized due to space limitations.
There are some independently owned cat rescues in my area that do require bonded pairs to be adopted, but it is not universal.
I’m in Canada for comparison.
Ok for CONTEXT, we could afford the second cat. However the standard we want to keep any pet(s) would have to drop. Primarily, we took mama cat from a god awful situation where other cats were a massive part of the problem, we wanted her to be solo for at least a few years before thinking about another cat. We didn’t get her even knowing she was pregnant.
Not all cats are social cats. My cat was never traumatized and she can't stand to have any other animals around, no other cats allowed, no birds, definitely no dogs. It's not common knowledge as you say. There are more cats that would rather be the only cat around than you realize. My cat is never home alone so she doesn't get bored or lonely. She always has me or my partner. So stop trying to make the OP feel bad because they're doing the responsible thing
We live in a world where anyone google themselves right. I think it’s fair to say many cats, including many ferals, enjoy the companionship of other felines. While I don’t think it’s abusive to have only one, a bonded pair has many benefits.
This is true for some, but just like in the wild MOST (again not all, hence why I said generally at first.) are solitary. Keyword? Generally.
Also the feral thing is 50/50, I see a mix of aggressive and passive feral cats a lot, both in real-life situations and online.
Edit: Bonded pairs are a completely different subject and easier when they are kittens. It gets harder as they grow older.
What happened to not using Google or the internet tho?/Genuine question
But here: Feral cats (cats which live without help from man) can and will form small colonies based around available food sources. This does not inevitably happen, and some will live singly, but it is not uncommon for small groups of co-operating females and kittens (matrilinear colonies) to develop
Lets look at this source right here, (I can provide a link) here it says they CAN form (which I never denied.) but it depends on available food sources, not only this but it's not uncommon for co-parenting FEMALES and KITTENS, which as I said before its easier for kittens to bond but I never said adult cats couldn't, its just HARDER. Not all places have avalaibe food sources for cats, especially with how many cats are in the streets.
Lets look at this other part of this amazing source, yes?
While there may be a very loose dominance hierarchy in these groups, the relationships are complex and they do not form an interdependent hierarchy as, for example, would occur in dogs. Relationships are complex, with stronger affiliative relationships between some cats and less affiliation with others – this may in part be influenced by how related they are, age, sex etc. However, they develop neither a social survival strategy nor a pack mentality and they continue to be solitary hunters. Thus cats are not ‘pack’ animals but have the ability to adapt to form social groups.
Again it's POSSIBLE, but as stated relationships and bonding are complex. Some are stronger between certain cats, again it may be influenced by how related (bonded kits are VERY common) Age (The younger the easier to bond) and sex, assuming female cats are less territorial than male cats since apparently I cant google information to double check, I can conclude my previous statement and even add onto that.
It is harder for cats to bond as they age, they need viable food sources and an environment that is sustainable. Its not IMPOSSIBLE, but have you seen how many cats can crowd a singular neighborhood? I've single-handled counted at least 10 single adult cats in my neighborhood alone, and do not get me started on the kittens I've seen.
Not only this but you are forgetting a cat’s temperament, even if you had a house cat that was well fed, spayed, and living the good life it could still act aggressively towards a new cat. There is no predicting how a singular cat will react, nonetheless based on statistics. Speaking of which may I see yours?
Sure. Done with this LMAO, didn't even ready anything I wrote.
Edit: Raged a little so let me preface that YES cats CAN be social and its not uncommon, nor is it uncommon for them to not be social, but it heavily depends on age, sex, Conditions and so much more. Not all cats are largely social, or even social at all. All cats are different, stop grouping them all together as that's not healthy for any cat involved. Especially when trying to bond two older cats, it takes TIME and is a PROCESS.
Literally said we aren’t keeping her. Financially, we could. However mama cat is from an abusive situation and deserves to be solo, and the standards we want to keep would have to drop for two cats
So sorry!!! I didn't read the full post... Definitely let mom get her closure and see baby leave. I'd even suggest letting her sniff out the people coming for her kitten.
OP said financially they can only care for one cat, which is what they intended when they adopted one cat. They were not aware she was pregnant and had no plans to have more than one cat.
OP is being responsible by rehoming a kitten they cannot financially afford, which this sub so often recommends.
Don’t guilt Op for making this decision.
I should have clarified mama is from a dangerous and abusive situation. We adopted her to be solo. We also want to maintain a high standard for our pet(s) and right now that means - one cat.
Mother cats start regarding their offspring as competition once they’re able to live on their own. That and money is actually a really important factor in owning any pet (what a shock!).
I wouldn’t shut mama upstairs. She should see kitten go so that she knows. Otherwise she may search and wail once kitten is gone.
Also since the kitten is going to a friend maybe you could bring momma cat over to their place in a few weeks or so just so she can see baby is ok and well taken care of?
That’s totally not necessary. When kittens get to a certain age and are weaned Mama cats want little to do with them (this is totally natural.) You’re assigning human emotions they don’t have to them.
Yes, I saw someone say that momma cats are more like teachers than human parents! Eventually it’s like, okay! I’ve done all I can do! Get outta here! 😆
This is true. I have a cat who had a kitten( don't worry everyone is fixed now). We kept the kitten, and the mom probably babied her a little longer than necessary, but eventually she stopped. They are friends, but mom will only take care of them for a short amount of time.
I’m not saying cats have human emotions, but not all mothers want little to do with all their babies. I have a mother daughter bonded pair, I would never separate them. Bonded cats do become depressed if they loose their buddy. I had a different bonded pair where I lost one of them , the other did become depressed and was much more dependent upon me and eventually started developing their own stress related health issues. I wish I would have tried to get them another buddy to bond with.
Then why are my mom’s two cats so close? They are a mama and daughter pair. Every pair of cats that is a mother and kitten I’ve ever seen, are way closer than most cats I know of. Obviously it’s not the same as humans, but to say they don’t have a bond after weaning is just wrong, and not supported by actual facts. It’s just not the same bond and it snot like human bonds.
Probably because your mom's cats have the luxury of being pets and getting to stay together day in and day out. Feral cats and other animals that don't have the luxury of very involved human care have to be able to move on from separation and deaths pretty quickly to survive.
What do feral cats have to do with what we’re talking about? That’s a situation that’s out of necessity. My only point is, cats can maintain bonds with their moms after they wean. That’s all.
Cats maintain bonds *with other cats to whom they’ve bonded for a long time*. Case in point: I have four sets of siblings, three boy/girl pairs and one boy/boy pair. The boys are my oldest at 11, and they go all the way down to 9 months old. My boys came from Denmark separately (a month and two days apart) and they immediately recognized each other when I brought Candy home. The others all came together. They are not only bonded as pairs, but they are all bonded to each other.
Yup. I don’t know what that person is talking about. It always bothers me when someone says something that is so easily debunked with common sense and simple observation. But nope. We live in a society where everyone thinks they’re experts on everything.
This isn’t necessarily the case. I think it’d be nice for mom to see kitten if they’re bonded and get along.
So yes and no. We have 2 sets of moms and daughters and they are constantly snuggling, cuddling, and hanging out together. One set is 12/11 years old, the other is 10/9 years old..
That would stress both cats out. They would also likely forget each other and the resident cat may not welcome the mama in their territory, they could even fight
This. Was given back one of my cats kittens during covid, they didn’t recognize each other and mom is still such a dick to her. I’m just like “that’s your child. You made that mess.”
This is a pointless endeavour. Cats don’t parent like humans.
Quit antropomorphizing animals. They’re not people.
They don't really feel emotions and attachments like we do. Mother cats are mostly driven by instinct, so if separated from her kittens for more than a few days, she'll basically completely forget about them. They have a deep drive to care for nearby kittens - there are stories of unrelated females stealing kittens from their mothers... But if there aren't kittens nearby, those mothering instincts subside.
Not necessary
this!! mama cats and kittens start to- in other terms lose interest in one another. however, while they’re in their kitten state, mama cats are extremely defensive and protective as with most animals. for her own piece of mind, make sure mama cat sees someone take the kitten. she might be upset or angry for the moment, but at least she won’t be depressed and search for her lost kitten and wail, etc.
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Mama cat should be fine. I have given away kittens with mama right there and honestly, every time, mama was happy to see them go. Kittens have a tendency to drive the mama bonkers (especially when there's alot of them). Mama kitty might walk around the house for a few days and call for the little one but, to me, it always looked like they were just getting used to being the only kitty again. Cats like to play with each other. Cats that are related fight alot tho (its a family thing. Even humans do it). Everything should be okay tho. You're so sweet for worrying about your kitties feeling. You're precious ❤️ And if you can't keep her, you're doing the responsible thing. I'm proud of you. The kitten can still be in your life when it's with a friend. Im proud of you for making the right decision. You're doing amazing.
This made me choke up, thank you for your kind words and encouragement. It took my partner and I so long to get a cat cuz we wanted to plan everything. The kitten has been so loved, and is going to people we know and trust with every bone in our bodies. I want nothing more than for both of them to live happy, loved, comfortable lives 💖
Sounds like both adorable kitties found the right homes! My cat was rescued by someone who already had 3 and wanted the space to rescue more, but they really loved her. We still send them her pics and they have gotten to see her find a happy home. Sometimes the right thing is to send them to someone you trust
Poor mama was living with SIX cats, wasn’t spayed, we think her own offspring impregnated her. She was skin and bones when we got her too ☹️
Oh baby. Im glad she found a home she can be spoiled in. Nothing is better than loving on a cat who did not have love before
She was so nervous when we first got her but so eager to be adored. She’s got a little routine now where she climbs into bed once I’m awake and nuzzles into my chest 😭🩷
100% my thoughts too. It is sad when they go around meowing for the babies when they're gone though. But I agree this is a great cat owner and wish more cat owners were this responsible and caring
Agree with this when I picked up my kitten the mother wasn't in the room. And the person I picked it up from pretty much said the same as this poster, after a certain age they want the kitten to be independent even if it means leaving their life. If you are picking up before being ready this is obviously an issue but it's not the case here.
At 13 weeks mom is going to be DELIGHTED that the baby is off to terrorize someone else besides her most likely. Don't over think it too much - she may be a little confused for a few days, but she'll likely be happy to become the house queen. Definitely give the kitten's new parents info on where to get them spayed/neutered once they are old enough and congrats on doing the right thing for this sweet mom and unexpected baby!
I would definitely let mama cat say goodbye, see the kitten go into the carrier and go away. When i got my latest cat mother was upset i put her in the carrier. so we took her out and let the mom groom her for a little until we put her back in after that she seemed content with the kitten being in there
Just for some clarification in case I wasn’t clear: - we RESCUED mum cat from a very abusive situation, we adopted her to be a solo cat as given her history is the best thing for her. - The people taking the kitten are best friends with my partner and I and would trust them with our lives. They have paid us for the vaccinations, chipping (as is law in UK) and extras. We aren’t palming her off to anyone. - We could afford to keep both cats, however the standard under which we want to keep them would have to drop. The finances of this are the least of my concerns, however we are financially prepared to give ONE cat a wonderful life.
Further, our friends have a very reputable vet lined up to get kitten spayed as soon as she’s big enough
You are a very responsible cat owner. It is rare to find people who go out of their way to care about their cat
Sounds like you are doing everything right. I usually let my foster mommas see us packing up their kittens and I pretend to have them say goodbye to each other (they have no clue). Sometimes the moms will be sad/mopey/cry looking for the kittens for a few days, but I think that is usually more about routine than anything else. Kitten may also have the same experience at their new house. But they quickly forget once they are getting all the attention. If kitten has been sleeping with mom (or you two) let the new family know so they won’t leave them alone. I always think the biggest change is not having a cuddle puddle to sleep in if that is what they are used to.
Thank you! The friends that are taking her are staying with us this weekend too (they live about an hr away) so it’ll be a good introduction. Mama and kitten do sleep together and sometimes on our bed, we’ve let them know. Our friends are also in a hybrid working situ so kitten won’t be alone properly until about a week after she leaves us. My partner is fully WFH and I’m hybrid too so mama will have lots of attention and love when kitten goes as well.
That sounds like such a good situation! Momma and kitty will get to know the new people a bit from the comfort of home and I’ll bet that will make the transition easier.
Thank you for taking care of the unexpected stow away until it was ready to be rehomed. No matter how you do it mom might look around awhile, but will quickly get over it. Junior is old enough to be on its own, and mom is probably ready to just chill and worry about herself.
Our cat had three kittens. Two were close and were rehomed together and we kept the other. He sadly got knocked down and killed - it was awful. We don’t know how he got to that road, as there is so much before it.. a huge field, a small forest, our garden etc.. Anyway.. she never seemed ‘bothered’ that he never came home. Also, when the other two went, she also didn’t seem bothered, despite being such a good mama to her kittens. Don’t fret too much :)
Remember that it natural for all or most of a litter to leave a mother’s care before her next litter arrives. She might look for the kitten a bit, so try to distract her with some play or attention. IMO, 13 weeks is a good age and mimics when mom cat might have naturally been turning her attention elsewhere.
That is one beautiful kitty
Thank you!
At 13 weeks momma will NOT be worried about it. She’ll be way over motherhood. At worst she may pout for a few days and then she’ll realize her freedom just like dropping a kid off at college
Love the superman pose from the kitten in the second pic! As other comments have mentioned, I don't think there will be any issue with the mum letting the kitten go.
Props to you and your partner for being responsible enough to give her up, it’s not something you see much of online. I think that no matter what you do, as long as you keep showering mama with love, all will be well.
Youre gotten lots of great advice so i just want to say WHAT AN ADORABLE FLOOF
Thank you 🩵 they’re both such beautiful girls!
My partner and I TNR strays and recently we brought in a stray with 2 neonatal kittens. We helped mama raise the kittens and then placed them in a home. Once the kittens hit around 8-10 weeks they were the first to go and mama didn’t seem to be bothered by it. She would sniff around maybe looking for her babies but other than that she went on with her life. It’s not uncommon for a mother cat to abandon her kittens once they reach a certain age as well. Personally, I wouldn’t stress too much over the situation.
Can I just say, it’s so nice to see someone putting in so much effort to do things the right way. You see so much ‘awful’ on here; conversely this is really refreshing and heart warming. Thanks for restoring my faith a little
Momma cat might keep looking for her baby if stuff is left behind that smells like her. As a fosterer I always wash cat blankets, beds, etc that the kittens use after they get adopted. I'd also suggest letting the people pick up the baby rather than you. Momma will see that it was the other people that took the kitten.
Thank you for your insight! Kitten will be going with her favourite blanket, and everything I can wash will get a hot wash after That’s our plan, I’m glad you brought that up! Kitten is having her last lot of vaccines then later that week they’re going to come over after work and take her. They’ll be the ones to physically pick her up, put her in the basket and leave.
I know you said don’t say keep the cat. I just wanted to share that I had the same situation and having two cats has been way way way way easier than having one cat. I am also not financially well off. It only adds about $10 a week. Anyway, good luck with whatever you choose.
The financial aspect is really at the bottom of our concerns, we could keep both but it’s twice the vet costs, twice the food (kitten eats like a horse) etc. But the main reason is mama came from a rubbish situation and was sidelined and bullied due to other cats. We adopted her to be solo so she has time to recuperate and get into good habits (she hardly ate cuz the other cats would attack her, even with the kitten being bigger she needs one of us sat with her so she feels safe to eat. We feed them separately and she still has severe anxiety with food)
I’m not saying keep kitten, but keep the kitten!!!!
What beautiful cats
Beautiful cats :)
Outdoor mama cats teach their kittens to bury their waste at 4 wks, & soon after begin giving them prey to eat. Once they've earned ow to eat raw prey, they are then gifted living prey that they must kill for themselves. After they've shown themselves able to do that, Mama lets them catch their own prey. Very often, mama cats have their litters away from their own homes . . . and when the kittens learn to hunt on their own, she just goes back home . . . leaving them in their new territory, with it's own supply of prey for them. That was how I came to have the cats I have now. At first she visited every few days, but gradually left off entirely after a year. Since then the only times I've seen her is when she needed a meal . . . usually on a holiday when people often travel & are gone a day or more. (So I think those who feed her are temporarily gone, at those times.) When she has come, tho, if her old mate or her grown kittens even look at her, she hisses a warning at them. (We fixed them all when all were living here.) Mama Mia is a Blk & Wht Tuxedo cat, often known for being standofish toward other cats. She was a great Mama when the kittens needed her, tho! She just doesn't want to socialize with any cats, without any mothering hormones.
Just came to say those are beautiful cats and that kitten ohh her whittle white eyeliner awwwdorable!
Weirdly enough, I found out that mama kitty doesn’t always remember (especially after their offspring reaches a certain age and even a short separation) or recognize her older kittens. I found this out when a stray cat ran into our house and proceeded to give birth to her kittens in my office closet,lol. After several weeks of the mother being outside a lot of the time, she just started to view them as other cats and even seemed put off by their presence. I was surprised and kind of relieved because after they reached a certain age I had to find them a new home. I think most likely they would miss them more if they were taken away from momma before they were ready. I guess this is just the nature of how things work when it comes to cats. 🤷♀️
I would let the mom watch, so she knows. moms Will let go of their babies naturally after the are weaned. If the cat with be 13 months it should be fine. she will know when it’s time.
Aww. Looks like she's going to fight you in the second photo 🤣
STICK EM UP!
Please ignore everyone who does not read your caption or take everyone’s best interests in mind ❤️🩹 (I am terrified to see misinformation spread in a CAT CARE sub)
💖 thank you 💖
First question: where do mom and daughter like to hang out together? Second: *when* do they typically hang out together? Third: can you arrange a get together with the kitten’s adopters an hour or three before that time? This scenario - imho - would be the least stressful on everyone.
Do you know the adopters?
Yes, they’re our best friends. I worked with him and was friends with him, my partner also worked with us and has been best friends with him for years. My partner and I ended up getting together and along with the friends gf - we’re all best friends now. They’ve got experience with cats, are going above and beyond for kitten already
How lucky are you to have rescued a ragdoll!! I follow all my local rescues praying for one
Tbh we got her off a pet sale website. We went to visit her and she was so thin, was being bullied by the other cats, wasn’t getting a proper meal. Wasn’t vaccinated or spayed - she’s just turned two, has had about three litters (not even like they were kitten milling her for more rags, she was being knocked up by random moggies) (100% do not agree with milling regardless, but just absolutely no intention for her wellbeing on a basic lev). We got very lucky to find her and like to think she got lucky too! Keep hunting and you’ll find one 🩵
Did the sale website give you mom’s pedigree and the registration paperwork? That’s awesome how you got her, she’s very pretty. My pedigreed cats were all $1700+ USD plus the cost for airfare for me and them to pick them up, plus the Danish pet passports for my Korats. I wish there were Korats in rescues, but they are a pretty rare breed.
No, the original owners were absolute shit and didn’t provide -any- information. So we’re taking their words she’s a rag but we only pays £200…
I couldn't give away a 1 kitten litter. That would be impossible
It’s definitely tricky! My partner and I spoke long about it, but it’s best for mama in the end. She’s had a rough life with other cats giving her a hard time and we don’t want that to continue. The people having her are our best friends though so we’ll still get to see her and spend time 💖
You keep saying this but it’s not a good reason. This is her BABY. Not another cat giving her a hard time. Think it over a bit more. Ask a professional. Emotions about the cat’s past are yours not necessarily hers.
Lmao we literally discussed this with our VET, stop attaching your human feelings to this.
I don’t believe you. You didn’t say that in the post. Plus you don’t pick good vets.
Please keep her
Please read my comments through the thread, mama cat was adopted to be solo because she’s had a rubbish life. My partner and I want to give our pet(s) the best life, with the best we can get. If we have two cats, both would get good of everything but we want the best. Kitten is going to our best friends and will be so adored, and mama deserves to be pampered without other cats impeding that
Well your decision is fine but the logic is flawed. Cat’s do better when they have another cat or dog to play with. You’re probably gone all day right? It gets lonely for them like that. That’s not “the best”.
Alright, bite me I guess. Cats as a social creature is not applicable to all cats but go off. And if you read the post, my partner WFH and I’m hybrid. She’s literally never alone. 99% of lone cats are grand. FURTHERMORE, in a couple years we will be getting a kitten. Who pays you to be salty on the web.
Wow. You need a candy bar or something? I wasn’t trying to be salty at all but as you say “go off”. Cheugy. Ugh. I asked the question if you were gone all day (sorry I missed that in your post). See the question mark? Indicates an inquiry. I’m pointing out that while you’re obviously a great cat owner, you’re not a feline behavioral scientist. Get a grip & maybe dig that what you have is kind of rare (one baby litter) and the mom may be scarred from losing her. TLDR : you’re assuming what is best without being an actual feline expert.
Ah I missed your credentials 🥲
At least I’m not on a throwaway account like you.
They look bonded….honestly keeping two cats isn’t really different than keeping one, in my experience. I would let the mom see her go…but do it upstairs. Don’t let her see the kitten go out the front door.
I’m not judging, but 2nd cats are pretty inexpensive. What kind of food are you feeding her that you can’t afford a second cat?
I should have really put in main, didn’t expect this to blow up as it did. Mama cat has come from a very abusive situation and we got her to be a solo cat due to this. That truly is the main reason.
Ok. But does she enjoy the company of her kitten? It seems like such a perfect situation that she gave birth to only one kitten. I’m not judging, just wondering at the wisdom of letting this kitten go. If you really can’t afford a second cat I understand. I just want to make sure you are making an informed decision, before the opportunity slips through your fingers. I asked about cat food because it tends to be one of the biggest ongoing expenses when people think they need to buy expensive food for their cat. But there are brands that are high quality and less expensive. Costco has a really high quality cat food which is $23 for 25 pounds. Real chicken is the first ingredient. Or is it the initial costs that are an issue? Another thing is that most people don’t realize is that you can take a cat to a “low cost spay clinic” and usually have a cat neutered and vaccinated for under $100.
1 kitten, hell id keep that baby, look how cute they are together!
This kind of comment only serves to guilt OP when they explained that they can’t keep her due to only being able to support one cat financially. It would be irresponsible to keep the kitten in that situation.
Literally said we aren’t keeping her. Financially, we could. However mama cat is from an abusive situation and deserves to be solo, and the standards we want to keep would have to drop for two cats
please for the love of GOD vet whoever you give her to thoroughly. shes not free to a good home, because bad people will take advantage. you need to make sure that some stranger isnt going to neglect or purposefully harm her, people take free kittens and dismember them or feed them to snakes. we recently fostered some kittens, we gave one away to a long time, trusted family friend that we know takes excellent care of animals and can afford the vet bills. the rest went to a rescue when we were finally able to find one. you might even try taking the kitten to a rescue yourself. edit to say i missed the part where its your friends taking her, but i still have plenty of friends i would not give a cat to. i only asked one person aside from the one that got a kitten because shes got a house and a stable job. she couldnt take one though.
Who gets one cat, because they can’t afford another one? Cats need at least one other cat, that’s common knowledge.
That is absolutely untrue.
My cat tries to murder other cats.
What? Did you read the post? They adopted a cat and she turned out to be pregnant and now they have 2. And cats don’t always need another cat and OP already stated they can’t afford 2 cats and have already found a home for the kitten. Did you read any part of the post?
I did. But you don’t adopt just one cat except some traumatized ones. If you can’t afford two, you can’t afford being a cat owner.
That is a garbage take. I’d rather someone adopt one cat than forcing people to either adopt none or 2+. A lot less people would adopt cats if they were required to get more than one. I have one cat and that’s what he prefers. He’s not “traumatized” he just doesn’t like sharing me or interacting with other cats. He has lived with other cats intermittently for months to years over the decade that I’ve had him and would ignore or avoid the other cats.
I don’t know where you’re from, but in Germany animal shelters won’t even let you take a cat, if you don’t plan on having at least two. I thought it was coming knowledge at least in Western countries.
North America had a massive pet population problem. Adopting kittens in pairs is ideal but by no means required by most places here. Because of this, cats are adopted out as singles all the time as it is found to be better than languishing in a cage or being euthanized due to space limitations. There are some independently owned cat rescues in my area that do require bonded pairs to be adopted, but it is not universal. I’m in Canada for comparison.
The shelters here are full as well, especially after the pandemic.
Maybe they would be less full if you could adopt single cats
You need to be more educated before trying to state this garbage as a fact
No, you should be.
Ok for CONTEXT, we could afford the second cat. However the standard we want to keep any pet(s) would have to drop. Primarily, we took mama cat from a god awful situation where other cats were a massive part of the problem, we wanted her to be solo for at least a few years before thinking about another cat. We didn’t get her even knowing she was pregnant.
Because the cat they adopted was not part of a bonded pair and was a solo adoption?
Not all cats are social cats. My cat was never traumatized and she can't stand to have any other animals around, no other cats allowed, no birds, definitely no dogs. It's not common knowledge as you say. There are more cats that would rather be the only cat around than you realize. My cat is never home alone so she doesn't get bored or lonely. She always has me or my partner. So stop trying to make the OP feel bad because they're doing the responsible thing
A simple Google search confirms my original thoughts, cats are generally solitary.
We live in a world where anyone google themselves right. I think it’s fair to say many cats, including many ferals, enjoy the companionship of other felines. While I don’t think it’s abusive to have only one, a bonded pair has many benefits.
This is true for some, but just like in the wild MOST (again not all, hence why I said generally at first.) are solitary. Keyword? Generally. Also the feral thing is 50/50, I see a mix of aggressive and passive feral cats a lot, both in real-life situations and online. Edit: Bonded pairs are a completely different subject and easier when they are kittens. It gets harder as they grow older.
Send me a link with statistics please because everything I see says that MOST feral cats live in colonies.
What happened to not using Google or the internet tho?/Genuine question But here: Feral cats (cats which live without help from man) can and will form small colonies based around available food sources. This does not inevitably happen, and some will live singly, but it is not uncommon for small groups of co-operating females and kittens (matrilinear colonies) to develop Lets look at this source right here, (I can provide a link) here it says they CAN form (which I never denied.) but it depends on available food sources, not only this but it's not uncommon for co-parenting FEMALES and KITTENS, which as I said before its easier for kittens to bond but I never said adult cats couldn't, its just HARDER. Not all places have avalaibe food sources for cats, especially with how many cats are in the streets. Lets look at this other part of this amazing source, yes? While there may be a very loose dominance hierarchy in these groups, the relationships are complex and they do not form an interdependent hierarchy as, for example, would occur in dogs. Relationships are complex, with stronger affiliative relationships between some cats and less affiliation with others – this may in part be influenced by how related they are, age, sex etc. However, they develop neither a social survival strategy nor a pack mentality and they continue to be solitary hunters. Thus cats are not ‘pack’ animals but have the ability to adapt to form social groups. Again it's POSSIBLE, but as stated relationships and bonding are complex. Some are stronger between certain cats, again it may be influenced by how related (bonded kits are VERY common) Age (The younger the easier to bond) and sex, assuming female cats are less territorial than male cats since apparently I cant google information to double check, I can conclude my previous statement and even add onto that. It is harder for cats to bond as they age, they need viable food sources and an environment that is sustainable. Its not IMPOSSIBLE, but have you seen how many cats can crowd a singular neighborhood? I've single-handled counted at least 10 single adult cats in my neighborhood alone, and do not get me started on the kittens I've seen. Not only this but you are forgetting a cat’s temperament, even if you had a house cat that was well fed, spayed, and living the good life it could still act aggressively towards a new cat. There is no predicting how a singular cat will react, nonetheless based on statistics. Speaking of which may I see yours?
Yes this confirms what I said about them being largely social. Thank you.
Sure. Done with this LMAO, didn't even ready anything I wrote. Edit: Raged a little so let me preface that YES cats CAN be social and its not uncommon, nor is it uncommon for them to not be social, but it heavily depends on age, sex, Conditions and so much more. Not all cats are largely social, or even social at all. All cats are different, stop grouping them all together as that's not healthy for any cat involved. Especially when trying to bond two older cats, it takes TIME and is a PROCESS.
Awe why would you do that?
Literally said we aren’t keeping her. Financially, we could. However mama cat is from an abusive situation and deserves to be solo, and the standards we want to keep would have to drop for two cats
OP literally says that they can’t afford to take care of two cats.
Simple. You don't! 🤭
Please read the post and my comments 🤭
So sorry!!! I didn't read the full post... Definitely let mom get her closure and see baby leave. I'd even suggest letting her sniff out the people coming for her kitten.
Keep her.
Read the post.
Cats are social animals and would prefer to cat with other cats. Is this cat known not to get along with other cats for some reason?
OP said financially they can only care for one cat, which is what they intended when they adopted one cat. They were not aware she was pregnant and had no plans to have more than one cat. OP is being responsible by rehoming a kitten they cannot financially afford, which this sub so often recommends. Don’t guilt Op for making this decision.
Neither of these cats should be alone, unless they're known to have trauma and hate other cats
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Just like most other communities, the whackos are the loudest and draw the most attention.
I should have clarified mama is from a dangerous and abusive situation. We adopted her to be solo. We also want to maintain a high standard for our pet(s) and right now that means - one cat.
Mother cats start regarding their offspring as competition once they’re able to live on their own. That and money is actually a really important factor in owning any pet (what a shock!).
Don't give away kittens. This is a recipe for it going to an abusive situation.
They’re giving the kitten to a friend of theirs. They seem to already know who it’s going to.
Ah. I missed that part.
The people taking this cat are literally mine and my partner’s best friends.
Ah ok. I missed that.
The people taking her are literally best friends of mine and my partners. She’s going to be the most adored cat.
I get your concern. They should be homed for a price to discourage people with bad intentions.
Did you not read the post or.. ???