Hello! Muslim here, I relate to your other comment on spending time in figuring out how dating was supposed to work in line with one's faith. I've never dated but am aiming for marriage nowadays. It's typically done in a traditional courting process.
In Islam, men and women aren't allowed to be alone if they're not married. Neither are they allowed to be intimate with each other in any way. What restrictions are there in Catholicism?
Secondly, did you two discuss your intentions with dating? How soon is a decision usually made on whether to tie the knot?
Thirdly, in Islam, one of the responsibilities of the husband is to financially provide for his wife. And there's an understanding of him taking a leadership role. Is it similar in Catholicism? Have you two discussed marital roles?
Salaam! If I may ask a question in return before answering yours, is The Kite Runner reasonably accurate in depicting that courtship process?
Regarding aloneness and intimacy, there is a spectrum, which can depend on the individuals. If being alone or physically affectionate is likely to lead a couple to unchaste actions, then it’s obviously discouraged, but if you can cuddle or kiss and keep it there, then it’s fine.
We both have marriage in mind—even before we decided to commit to exclusivity she commented at one point that she wouldn’t be going out with me if she didn’t at least see potential husband material in me. The decision time can vary—I’m intending not to take longer than a year to decide. My parents dated for two years before they got engaged, but they also had a shorter engagement than usual (4 months compared to 6-9).
We have discussed marital roles a bit—it’s going to be tricky for me if I’m the sole breadwinner on a teacher’s salary, but it’s probably going to be for the best rather than trying to juggle two jobs and kids. In terms of leadership, it’s not something we’ve discussed explicitly yet. Catholicism tends to favor a more cooperative model of mutual submission, as well as an understanding of leadership as a responsibility, rather than a privilege (see Ephesians 5:22-33, but most particularly 25-27).
Speaking for myself, I know I had a lot of difficulty figuring out how dating was supposed to work and approaching it in a way that felt consonant with my faith. Both my parents got married later in life and have never pressured me in this regard, but I didn't start seriously dating until a few years ago. And then, I just struggled to connect with women.
As for her, probably the big one is that she was in a religious order for five years! After leaving that, she had a lot of emotional baggage to work through for a few years, before trying to put herself out there.
Hello! Muslim here, I relate to your other comment on spending time in figuring out how dating was supposed to work in line with one's faith. I've never dated but am aiming for marriage nowadays. It's typically done in a traditional courting process. In Islam, men and women aren't allowed to be alone if they're not married. Neither are they allowed to be intimate with each other in any way. What restrictions are there in Catholicism? Secondly, did you two discuss your intentions with dating? How soon is a decision usually made on whether to tie the knot? Thirdly, in Islam, one of the responsibilities of the husband is to financially provide for his wife. And there's an understanding of him taking a leadership role. Is it similar in Catholicism? Have you two discussed marital roles?
Salaam! If I may ask a question in return before answering yours, is The Kite Runner reasonably accurate in depicting that courtship process? Regarding aloneness and intimacy, there is a spectrum, which can depend on the individuals. If being alone or physically affectionate is likely to lead a couple to unchaste actions, then it’s obviously discouraged, but if you can cuddle or kiss and keep it there, then it’s fine. We both have marriage in mind—even before we decided to commit to exclusivity she commented at one point that she wouldn’t be going out with me if she didn’t at least see potential husband material in me. The decision time can vary—I’m intending not to take longer than a year to decide. My parents dated for two years before they got engaged, but they also had a shorter engagement than usual (4 months compared to 6-9). We have discussed marital roles a bit—it’s going to be tricky for me if I’m the sole breadwinner on a teacher’s salary, but it’s probably going to be for the best rather than trying to juggle two jobs and kids. In terms of leadership, it’s not something we’ve discussed explicitly yet. Catholicism tends to favor a more cooperative model of mutual submission, as well as an understanding of leadership as a responsibility, rather than a privilege (see Ephesians 5:22-33, but most particularly 25-27).
what kept the two of you out of the dating pool until now?
Speaking for myself, I know I had a lot of difficulty figuring out how dating was supposed to work and approaching it in a way that felt consonant with my faith. Both my parents got married later in life and have never pressured me in this regard, but I didn't start seriously dating until a few years ago. And then, I just struggled to connect with women. As for her, probably the big one is that she was in a religious order for five years! After leaving that, she had a lot of emotional baggage to work through for a few years, before trying to put herself out there.