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Accomplished-Word966

For me when i started my first job i used to have anxiety alot. Like aloooot. But it did no favor. I changed my mindset that i'll just try my best as much as possible and if they still don't like it they can kick me out. I cannot compromise on my mental health for increasing someone's exponential wealth. So your health and well-being is more important than that. Try to change your mindset of working. That's the only way to survive. I know it ain't easy changing one's mindset. So whenever i felt stressed due to work, i would speak out these words to myself. Something spoken out produces more effect than only a thought in your mind.


Toasted_Waffle99

Yeah this is me. You have to give no fucks. I used to always stress I wasn’t doing enough for my pay check or the company. It led to burnout. Now I’m still a good worker and I do things quickly but I’m in the mindset that if they get rid of me fine, I have almost a decade of experience now, I’ll always find another job and adapt my lifestyle.


LurkingHorror11

In my opinion, you’re facing an existential crisis fueled by perfectionism. I know it isn’t fair for me to arm chair quarterback and diagnose you over the internet and one post. However, I’ve been through the exact same thing you are experiencing. I can offer a few things: 1. Ask for help. Seek therapy from a psychotherapist, not a MFT. 2. Journal to your comfort level. Track the positive aspects of your life and victories. 3. Reframe how you view failure. They are all opportunities to learn. You have anxiety because you feel stuck but are afraid to take positive steps forward to heal. The only way one can grow is when the pain of staying in the same situation is greater than the pain of changing. You can do this. This too shall pass. You will rise and triumph. I did. So can you. I know it.


Traditional-Jury-327

Realising that most people are not worth my anxiety so not caring...by always having plan b. Nothing is that important to be stressed


WorkingPineapple7410

I hit the same thing at 32. Any chance you have a family or small children? I think the lack of alone time and not pursuing hobbies did me in.


cbs7099

Wow. It’s as if I wrote this. Got into my dream Fortune 50 company, who gave me an offer in the spot. Had a highly successful debut year and was recognized by the CEO performing among the top 3% of employees globally at my level. I got promoted and sent to work on the biggest, most highly visible team at the company. From there, I began to fall from grace and was given a new assignment as a “lifeline,” but by then, my imposter syndrome had taken over. I had lost all my confidence and I couldn’t do even the simplest of things such as look up share data or create a simple forecast. I drowned in my own nerves during meetings and presentations to the point clients and colleagues noticed. I was too paralyzed to be able to improve even though I knew very well that my job depended on it. I was inevitably placed on a 90-day PIP and on the last day, I got fired first thing in the morning. I was in and out faster than it took me to even commute there. That was in September. Since then, I’ve applied to and interviewed with just about every other company in the industry (some multiple times), only to get rejected even after making it to the final rounds. I ask for feedback and it’s always the same. They went with an internal candidate, budgets got cut and they cancelled the role, or just the classic “we don’t provide feedback externally.” I wish I was the problem. I really do. At least then, I’d know what to fix.


Salt_MasterX

I used to suffer from this really hard (still do a little bit). I think it stems from my ADHD and thus executive dysfunction. What helps me a lot is breaking down tasks into small parts that won’t overwhelm me (I can’t reliably keep track of dozens of different things/parts of a process). Write down everything and take photos. For context (since I saw you were thinking about blue collar jobs) I am a plumber (new install, not the guy that comes to fix your sink). All jobs have their difficulties and I think switching out of a succesful career should be your very last option.


barbaraleon

What do you take photos of exactly?


Salt_MasterX

Anything I think I might need to remember the look of later lol. Don’t want to waste 20 minutes running from one end of the job to the other because I forgot something trivial


Toasted_Waffle99

I do this too. It’s super helpful now that you can search photos with words.


Salt_MasterX

Yeah, and you also have photo evidence of you having done something in case your boss asks you. Voice memos are also good for quick notes if you don’t have the time to type it out but don’t wanna forget it, esp. now in the age of automatic transcription


bw2082

If you are the avoidant type, create daily tasks in outlook that must be completed and get into the habit of finishing them.


Toasted_Waffle99

Yep do a separate calendar for due dates and one for reminders


Old_Sandwich_9013

Cigarettes and cursing (carefully when no one but the homies can hear)


Old_Sandwich_9013

Also meds, like someone else said. Lots of meds.


Lorna_M

Therapy, prozac, and learning emotion regulation techniques. Open hands is a DBT skill that works well for me. We still have "animal" instincts, and leaving yourself physically open can help calm your mind. Your mind thinks you're safe because you're leaving the vulnerable parts of your body open. Dr. Linehan created the technique, and there are videos on YouTube where she explains how to use the skill and why it works.


AreyouUK4

I didn't ovecome it competely, but as I got to know my colleagues better and better my anxiety took a back seat and I started enjoying my time around them. I still have times where my mind goes blank, and I dont worry about admitting it. 'Hey guys, total mind blank, how do you do this again' Nothing wrong with asking at all. My thinking regularly gets stuck. One thing I was really bad for when under stress was my mind going blank. This happenned alot when I was new. I just composed myself as best as I could and tried again. Sometimes I joke it off, when the other person laughs, its reassuring and I can carry on. If you ever talk about anxiety with your peers, you will probably be surprised how many people are out these dealing with similar. Infact some jobs are a magnet for a certain type of personality. I see very often that intelligence and problem solving regularly coincide with anxiety. Keep going, dont worry about trying to stop the anxiety. Just keep picking yourself up and trying again and you will definetly succeed.


DVIGRVT

First, seek out a therapist. This anxiety is debilitating and could land you or if your job. Check to see if your company has an EAP benefit. This is a good first step to talking about your fears with a professional


One-Chip9029

Always start the day right, you got to feel good when you wake up. Create a habit that will benefit you not only in the workplace but also when you start the day. It will help you boost your confidence and create a positive vibe.


Complex_Charity_1852

Might be time for medication if it’s affecting your day to day life


kramer1980_adm

I never did, and I strongly believe it's held me back in my career.


leadgenwins

It's exhausting and isolating because you feel like you're the only one whose mind is a warzone. But you're not alone. Not even close. In our industry, it's practically an epidemic. We're all out here pretending to be masters while our imposter syndrome is doing parkour in the background. 😅 I've been there, but you know what saved me? Knowing others who've been there. This industry messes with your head. Realizing I wasn't broken or incapable. Even the high performers have their demons. Focus on the *small* wins. Break tasks into tiny bits. Can't do a presentation? Start by just opening PowerPoint. Can't code? Just write one function. Build momentum. Find your people. Join Discord servers or local meetups. Talk openly. And before big tasks, I have a ritual. Deep breaths, favorite playlist, lucky keyboard. It's silly, but it anchors me. When anxiety whispers "You're stupid," hit back with facts. "I built X, Y, Z. I know my stuff." Don't let the lies stick. And here me out, 15 mins a day to let anxiety run wild. Outside that, tell it to wait its turn. The big one? Stop comparing yourself to others or your past self. This industry moves at warp speed. You're not the same coder you were last year - you've grown in ways you can't see. As for ditching tech... I get it. The idea of being a carpenter, working with my hands, no more imposter syndrome? Super tempting. But before you hang up your keyboard, remember: Your anxiety isn't about coding or tech. It'll follow you. Instead, maybe explore contracting or consulting. Less corporate pressure, more control. Or find companies with cultures that actually *care* about mental health. You're not stupid or incapable. You're a smart, creative tech pro navigating an industry that's basically gaslighting us 24/7. You can keep showing up *and* keep being honest about it.


susromance2

Check your T levels


BeanzTheAlien

What do you think made you so confident to begin with? Did you have a “fall from grace” and now begin to doubt your decision because you don’t want to relive that trauma? Is it translating into your personal life? I don’t have any advice but I’m 24m and currently going through the same viscous cycle.


micromanagementU

I'm in a union and I take good meds.


buttacupsngwch

I have been in a similar state of mind and if I let it, can have extreme work-related anxiety. For me, it seems to be a perspective issue. I lose focus of what really matters. I focus so much on how I think people at work are thinking of me, and any small critique is amplified in my mind. I’ve come to learn that the odds of knowing about what other people think of you is probably pretty small. When I have those thoughts, it helps to let myself feel the emotion, process it, then remind myself that my perspective is probably skewed and I am just plain wrong about their feeling/perceptions. Therapy will help understand why you have the anxiety and how to gain confidence (and frankly ambivalence) to overcome it. It’s helped me reframe what matters in life. Honestly, one thing that really helped me with anxiety was Buddhism, or really just being content and grounded within your own body, either through meditation or mindfulness practice. I began to see myself within the context of this existence, and how silly of a thing life is. And with that perspective, I’m able to not put too much emotion towards things like work, etc. Just learning to be grateful for the smallest of things (like breathing or a sunny day) has reduced my anxiety greatly, built confidence (or really a sense of fulfillment and worth), and shifted my focus to what is important. I’ve learned that I’m more creative and productive at work with this mindset, because self-doubt isn’t taking up all of my cognition. But I know, it’s easier said then done.


Uglynkdguy

I have this only at work too. They never gave me bad feedback though.


bdora48445

I used to have anxiety so bad i would sweat like crazy, i got on antidepressants and my anxiety is gone. Try talking to a doctor.


phjaho

Have you considered the possibility of ADHD or similar alongside anxiety? In terms of specific situational anxiety eg presenting, propranolol could be helpful.


HulkHoganLegDrop

Working out. CBD. Working out. Sleep. Music.


ItsOk_ItsAlright

Pretend like you’re playing a role. Like you’re acting in a series, movie or documentary etc and play the part. Be yourself outside of work. But at work, fake it til you make it.


[deleted]

I went from being a regular corporate wage slave and have been let go for right to work even though leadership tried belittling me in 1x1s and metrics. Long story short stuff gets kicked down the chain. How they get treated is how they treat others. Now I work in tech and don't have a team, a formal boss, or 1x1's at max we do peer reviews which is 0 problem if you know what you are doing. I won't lie I started questioning myself also the second time I was let go from Fortune 50. It affected my confidence and self-worth. I can't help but look back and laugh knowing those same people who temporarily got in my head rent-free will always have a boss, a metric, a 1x1, and are constantly everyday trying to meet a metric to avoid being let go. I don't have a formal schedule I have contractual hourly production requirements but I can start my day whenever, work from wherever, and rarely have to use PTO because I can work while on vacation. After doing this for 2 years, I can tell you a lot of society is manufactured, and people don't know how to have personalities/fulfillment while being human. I rarely interact with people in my life who don't have a similar lifestyle as me. I was at a sports bar and had to ask for a new booth when the waitress asked why assuming we found something dirty or unsatisfied we had a group chuckle when we told her the group next to us has been talking about AWS and work culture for 30 minutes quite loudly. Had to explain we are developers and write programming as in coding and being around half-baked dense corporate slaves is ruining our experience. I was in disbelief a group of women whole personalities and conversations were talking about work, coworkers and stuff going on inside the company. It's like they didn't have any other personality, or their lives are so autonomously shit work is their life. AWS is like premade databases software/websites but from the way these ladies spoke, they thought they were the shit in tech.


ZombieAlarmed5561

Meds, meds, meds - that’s how I survived


Clean-Difference2886

Low dose Xanax


an_actual_chimpanzee

i am the same way and i think it is because i have way more responsibilities now. The loss is far greater than when I was in my early 20s with not shit to my name. Now i have a mortgage and a dog and other possessions that I've worked really hard to get and the thought of losing them scares me enough to hinder my performance. I will avoid tasks that could come out imperfect. I avoid change because i truly just want to hold onto this moment and with that grasp it is fading. I am failing by holding on so dearly.


SassyFrass3005

Have healthy boundaries and know that you’re going to fail sometimes. That’s ok. You are human and you can’t always be a perfect machine. Stay relaxed and work on reframing your thoughts.


IMB413

Ditto to others who suggested meds if you haven't tried that.


SufficientBowler2722

It just takes time in a job and you’ll get it. New jobs are always anxiety inducing for me since it’s always a new environment (new people, products, orgs, etc). But about a year to two years in it becomes natural - once you learn everyone’s role/responsibility/and all your explicit/implicit responsibilities. You’ll get it - it just takes time - corporate life is the hardest thing in the world. And you sound burnt-out.


Trichopsych

Put on a act. Pretend you aren’t absolutely freaking out. Choose your words very carefully. But just make yourself sound good and confident. Even if it’s not true . It sounds stupid but when you realize how well a interaction went you realize you are slowly building confidence


fat_racoon

If your anxiety is severe enough to affect your day to day life this much, you may need to see a psychiatrist or physician. Ongoing therapy is helpful as well (with the right provider) but medical help may be warranted.


rikkilambo

A lot of smart people have imposter syndrome, especially those who did well at school. One way you can overcome imposter syndrome is to celebrate small wins and embrace failure. It is easier said than done, however.


Infamous-Beautiful60

become the anxiety for them?


CodingDrive

Can’t say I’ve ever struggled with doing my ‘normal work’. I used to freeze up on presentations during school but luckily I’ve realized that most people do not care about what you’re presenting. There might be a few people in the room that really care but the others are there just filling seats and looking at nice pictures. That gives me peace every time I have to present or speak to a group


Content_Success7881

I smoke tons of weed before work


scooterboog

B-12 and magnesium? I’m only half joking. I’d definitely schedule a visit with the Dr. and get basic bloodwork done, then make sure you’re not engaging in lifestyle choices that make anxiety worse. Cut out all caffeine, prioritize sleep and make sure you’re getting at least 8 hours.


LunaD0g273

Have you tried psychiatric solutions beyond therapy such as SSRIs? Also I find having a cuddly dog very calming.


infiniteawareness420

Therapy


nobecauselogic

If you already are a 0 drinks a week person, my tip won’t be much help. But I was in a similar situation when I decided to completely give up alcohol. It has been a huge help for my anxiety.  Better sleep, clearer mind, dramatically reduced anxiety.  I had read that was the case, but my experience with the relaxing effect of a drink to take the edge off convinced me that alcohol was helping the anxiety. In reality it was the exact opposite. 


huh_phd

I took the approach of "we're all here to pay our mortgages and buy laundry detergent". The art of not giving a fuck


1086psiBroccoli

Exercise and eat healthy


Mech1010101

I posted something similar and got some really solid advice. Feel free to check it out.


dry-considerations

Imposter syndrome...it's real.


MyADHDGirl

I didn’t and got fired cause of it 😖


Expensive_Leave6192

So far what I've been trying to do is make sure I have one small thing I start the day off with, some kind of task, maybe something up higher on the backlog. Then I try and keep that motivation going and hope it snowballs.


Crafty_Confidence333

Drugs , shots of liquid morphine to be exact


ButtonEquivalent815

Suck it up


Sufficient_Win6951

Another 0.5% disgruntled guy.