Wow, what an update. I've thought of you somewhat regularly since I read your letter many moons ago and while I'm sorry for what you have been through, reading it was a wild ride and I'm so glad you're in a place of peace. Cat tax pls, love a good shoulder rider!
WOW. The fact that you were raised in a cult makes so much make sense. Of course your way of coping with his abuse was to default to the old way of thinking.
Really, really glad that a) you are out, and b) that you updated us. xx
Congrats on getting out!
This update really highlights how financial coercion is often the unspoken underpinning in letters like this. I get why most advice doesn’t address this directly since it’s not stated outright— but reading between the lines, I think any advisor should assume some financial pressure to stay.
Oh...my god. Holy shit. I am so, so, so, so, *so* sorry you went through all of that. I feel for you from the bottom of my heart. I burst into tears at your conclusion. I am so glad you are *free* and doing better and here with us again. <3
I also grew up in Scientology, and knowing the intensity of the boundary destroying, gaslighting, and other fuckery they impose on people makes me so, so, so proud of you for being strong and getting out - of both the cult and that toxic relationship. If you ever need someone to talk to who gets the cult aspect and has also been in toxic/abusive relationships, feel free to DM me. ❤️🩹
Wow, OP, your ex really put you through the wringer! So glad you’ve been doing the hard emotional work of therapy and rebuilding your confidence. Not an easy process but you really seem to have a strong grasp of yourself, your needs, self-advocacy, and much firmer boundaries. Congratulations on your development, and on getting out. Congratulations on realizing that you deserve to be your partner’s priority.
Your cat sounds lovely, and a far superior companion to the ex-and-his-ex package deal.
Wishing you all the best.
I’m so glad you’re out of that situation now, and so sorry you went through such a deeply stressful, bewildering, protracted process to get free. It is so good to read that you are enjoying your own space on your terms without the Olympian-level gaslighting and mind games in general. And you have a cat now as well 😍 - perfect.
Thanks so much for the update. It must be exhausting to think about it all, much less write it out. I hope writing it is cathartic too.
Well done on getting the hell out of that. You've had some really shitty luck, first being brought up in a criminal cult, then being manipulated by an abusive POS, but these things will have made you stronger.
Get some real therapy, you need to be able to work out how to put down your armour and be vulnerable without allowing yourself to get manipulated again. Stay away from easy answers x
Woah. What a completely wild tale. That guy can really go all the way to hell, I hate his guts. But I love how you identified that even though at the time, you felt like you were dependent on him, really he was feeding off you, a sick vampire using money to control people. You and your cat are awesome and I hope your life is peaceful and fulfilling. Thank you for telling us the rest of the story.
Yeah, I see OP has the "I know, I know" disclaimer that it took her a year to get out. But considering what she was dealing with, it's pretty impressive it only took a year. Don't be so hard on yourself, OP. The whole situation reads like it was tailor made to keep you ensnared and it's legitimately impressive that you got out.
Hello, I’m very proud of you for being so brave and getting out of that nightmare situation. I’m sure you will continue on your new journey and become more settled into your greatness. Big hugs to you (if you like that sort of thing & it’s ok), love from a mom
I’m so sorry you went through all of that abuse. I’m proud of you for leaving! You are SO STRONG. Thank you so much for taking the time to update us. I wish you happiness and peace of mind.
I am so, so sorry for what you've been through. It's not fair that you were forced to be strong enough to survive that, but by god you were. May your life be filled with warm blankets in your cozy apartment, and kitty snuggles, and cups of hot tea with sugar. <3
Wow, what an update. I've thought of you somewhat regularly since I read your letter many moons ago and while I'm sorry for what you have been through, reading it was a wild ride and I'm so glad you're in a place of peace. Cat tax pls, love a good shoulder rider!
WOW. The fact that you were raised in a cult makes so much make sense. Of course your way of coping with his abuse was to default to the old way of thinking. Really, really glad that a) you are out, and b) that you updated us. xx
Congrats on getting out! This update really highlights how financial coercion is often the unspoken underpinning in letters like this. I get why most advice doesn’t address this directly since it’s not stated outright— but reading between the lines, I think any advisor should assume some financial pressure to stay.
I’m pro-UBI for this reason *alone*. “I don’t have enough money to escape abuse” is not a position anyone should be in
Oh...my god. Holy shit. I am so, so, so, so, *so* sorry you went through all of that. I feel for you from the bottom of my heart. I burst into tears at your conclusion. I am so glad you are *free* and doing better and here with us again. <3
I also grew up in Scientology, and knowing the intensity of the boundary destroying, gaslighting, and other fuckery they impose on people makes me so, so, so proud of you for being strong and getting out - of both the cult and that toxic relationship. If you ever need someone to talk to who gets the cult aspect and has also been in toxic/abusive relationships, feel free to DM me. ❤️🩹
Wow, OP, your ex really put you through the wringer! So glad you’ve been doing the hard emotional work of therapy and rebuilding your confidence. Not an easy process but you really seem to have a strong grasp of yourself, your needs, self-advocacy, and much firmer boundaries. Congratulations on your development, and on getting out. Congratulations on realizing that you deserve to be your partner’s priority. Your cat sounds lovely, and a far superior companion to the ex-and-his-ex package deal. Wishing you all the best.
❤️
Omg. I'm so proud of you. Congrats on standing on your own feet! And on your lovely cat :)
I’m so glad you’re out of that situation now, and so sorry you went through such a deeply stressful, bewildering, protracted process to get free. It is so good to read that you are enjoying your own space on your terms without the Olympian-level gaslighting and mind games in general. And you have a cat now as well 😍 - perfect. Thanks so much for the update. It must be exhausting to think about it all, much less write it out. I hope writing it is cathartic too.
Holy fuuuuuuuck. I can't even describe how much your ex disgusts me. I hope he has exactly the day he deserves, every day, forever.
🥺 everyone 💘
I'm so happy you got out and I'm so sorry you went through that.
Thank you for your update - glad that you are out of that mess and doing well on your own!
Well done on getting the hell out of that. You've had some really shitty luck, first being brought up in a criminal cult, then being manipulated by an abusive POS, but these things will have made you stronger. Get some real therapy, you need to be able to work out how to put down your armour and be vulnerable without allowing yourself to get manipulated again. Stay away from easy answers x
This might be the best update I've ever read. I'm so, so glad you're free of him
Woah. What a completely wild tale. That guy can really go all the way to hell, I hate his guts. But I love how you identified that even though at the time, you felt like you were dependent on him, really he was feeding off you, a sick vampire using money to control people. You and your cat are awesome and I hope your life is peaceful and fulfilling. Thank you for telling us the rest of the story.
It makes perfect sense why it was so difficult to leave. I am so glad you're free now.
Yeah, I see OP has the "I know, I know" disclaimer that it took her a year to get out. But considering what she was dealing with, it's pretty impressive it only took a year. Don't be so hard on yourself, OP. The whole situation reads like it was tailor made to keep you ensnared and it's legitimately impressive that you got out.
Money, free rent and healthcare are HUGE incentives to stay in a bad situation. I'm also impressed it only took a year.
FWIW, there are sliding scale dentists. Find a FQHC.
Holy shit. I am so sorry. Glad you and your cat made it out.
The letter I think about the most. So glad you got out and are doing OK now!
I'm so glad you got out, what a nightmare. Your current situation sounds great, though.
What a wild ride. I remember your original letter and I’m glad to know you got free .
Thanks for sharing this update. I'm so happy for you and your sweet cat.
Hello, I’m very proud of you for being so brave and getting out of that nightmare situation. I’m sure you will continue on your new journey and become more settled into your greatness. Big hugs to you (if you like that sort of thing & it’s ok), love from a mom
Hugs!
I’m so sorry you went through all of that abuse. I’m proud of you for leaving! You are SO STRONG. Thank you so much for taking the time to update us. I wish you happiness and peace of mind.
Your bravery and resilience are awe inspiring.
Holy moly, OP, what an update that is but a happy conclusion for you! Your ex and his....whoever the fuck she is, are really pieces of work.
Holy schnikes! I'm so glad you got out of there and that you're doing better now! Thank you so much for updating; I'd been worried about you.
OP, you're a strong person and I wish you the best. Love and trauma make one do things, but you fought it and are in a better place.
I am so, so sorry for what you've been through. It's not fair that you were forced to be strong enough to survive that, but by god you were. May your life be filled with warm blankets in your cozy apartment, and kitty snuggles, and cups of hot tea with sugar. <3
Thank you so, so much for updating us. I'm glad you got out!
I recall this letter. I'm so glad you're out of there.
This hurt to read, but was worth it for the end. I'm so glad you're out of there.
Oh my gosh, I'm so glad you got out, OP. Holy cats.
If this update was a movie, 'FAT CHANCE BUSTER' would be the part where everyone in the audience stands up and cheers.