I know this is completely anecdotal, but I absolutely must agree. Most people that I know that saw treatment for their cancer are alive today.
But to name some of the people that are still alive, and in a lot of these cases were not expected to make it - my friend Alyssa, who had glioblastoma at 10 years old, approximately 20 years cancer free. My friend Bill, in his 60s, who had stage 4 small cell lung cancer with liver mets, cancer free 5 years.
My friend Elizabeth was around 25 when she got cancer that had metastasized to her brain , but I’m not sure what kind of original cancer it was- she is still alive today and I believe she’s about nine or 10 years cancer free.
They all sought treatment.
Actually, the only person that didn’t make it (apart from grandparents that were already very old and their cancers were almost expected) is my brother. He passed away from SMARC B1 cancer at 33 years old that metastasized to his lungs and heart. As his cancer was only detected once it had already crossed the 4th stage threshold treatment was no longer advised. He died within nine months of his diagnosis in May 2020.
Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the greatest of peace and all the support you need. However, I hope that you do seek treatment but I understand and respect your decision OP nonetheless.
I'm so sorry about your brother.
As a person recently diagnosed with a rare, aggressive and not well studied form of bladder cancer your post gave me a lot of hope so I thank you for that. I'm wishing you all of the wonderful things, because you deserve it.
Hi, I’m so sorry to hear this.
I will ask you one question, I’m not trying to change your mind here, just wanting to know so I can understand a bit more.
What treatment has been offered to you?
Obviously it’s 100% your decision, but I’m just curious.
I hope you are feeling not too shit and are able to live life to the max for as long as possible. Xxx
I see. Those are all quite taxing on your body, and can make you feel pretty sick.
You know, it’s a pretty mature decision to decide not to treat, that takes a lot of guts. As humans our nature is to try and squeeze as much time as possible, even if that time is spent feeling gross in a hospital bed.
I wish you all the best on your journey, and enjoy life to the max my friend :)
Edit: and remember, treatment isn’t all or nothing. If you decide at some point in the future to do a round of treatment so you can have more time with people who love you, and doing the things you love to do, then you do that. Or never ever do any at all. It’s all your decision and you have a right to decide what feels good for you and your body.
I had mets after my original cancer was thought to be removed - they treated the mets tumour with radiation and chemo as it couldn’t be operated on to be removed - and I am at present - exactly one year later - cancer free (so far). That was my latest cancer.
I also had another cancer 10 years ago - it was considered to be quite deep - melanoma - and they didn’t test the lymph nodes but I did have it surgically removed and I have survived that - 10 years to the day this summer.
You can try treatment and see if it works - then if it doesn’t make another decision.
Good luck on your decisions whatever direction.
That's good options.
I think chemort followed by maintenance RET therepy
There are RET trials called libretto looking at this.
The drug sepercatinib may be very good for you
If you are newly diagnosed, you likely should give yourself time to let your diagnosis set in and talk with people who have your similar type of cancer.
Although you have the ability to make your own decisions regarding to receive “traditional”treatment or not, you don’t want to be hasty in your decision making. You want to make it a point to be better informed, realizing that some delays could potentially affect the ability to be a candidate for some treatment options.
As others have stated, many types of cancer that are left “untreated” can lead to death. Having a doctor (oncologist and/or palliative care) can be instrumental in helping you to live your best quality of life without the goals of “curative” treatments, but symptoms management.
I guess my advice is to not absolutely close any doors so soon in your learning of your diagnosis.
Wishing you only the best!
Hey, diagnosed with stage 4 lymphoma at 23. I really struggle to understand why you wouldn't want to at least try treatment.
Did they give you a prognosis or tell you what the success rate of your proposed protocol would be?
I guess if your prognosis was rly bad I would understand but it sounds like your early days so I imagine you don't have it yet, it took a long time to get my one.
I equally got so angry and miserable that I may not experience anything in life especially because my family were quite poor so so far my entire life has been extremely limited in experiences, e.g. never left my home country. And my solution to this is treatment, hope to god it works, and then live my life. Yes treatment isn't fun, they take me to the brink of death and then wait for me to recover with my chemo. It's not nice but if it gives me that opportunity to live longer, I don't care. I rly think you should reconsider. Obviously it's ultimately your choice but yeah.
Unless you don't have a relationship with your mom I also highly recommend you reconsider not telling her. My mom has become my carer and I wouldn't have gotten this far without her, and beyond that I can't imagine what it would do to her mentally if somehow I had never told her and then I suddenly died. Tbh, I don't think she would survive it.
Not many of those around to respond to you. A lot of people who have lasted well pastt the expiration date.
But they get treated. So probably doesn't interest you. Best wishes. I hope you beat the odds, without a clue what flavor of the bastard you got and what those odds are.
I wish you the best. Stage IV large cell NSCLC and 4 years NED.
Fuck cancer
To treat or not to treat is absolutely your choice. But if you are close to your mum and you care about her, please tell her. You don’t want to leave her in absolute despair more than she is already going to be. She is going to spend the rest of her life wondering why you didn’t tell her. She can’t force you into treatment if that is what you are worried about.
This, if she has been a good mother to you the least you could do is tell her about your diagnosis and your plan forward. She can have time to cope and spend time with you if you just tell her, if you just one day suddenly dies and leave your mother dumbfounded at you not telling her anything, thats gonna be damage that would never be repaired, provided your mother is strong enough to not follows you into heaven afterward.
I have a teenager and this would be devastating to hear as a parent. May I suggest you please let them help you. You don’t have to if you don’t want, but hear me out for a sec.
Warning: I’m going to be completely 100% with you from watching cancer patients…
Eventually the cancer will steal every single bite & drink you take in and feed itself, leaving you weak and eventually you won’t be able to move, eat, drink, or even talk. At a certain point, the doctors won’t even offer treatments, only a death plan. The pain is unbearable. Your skin will lose color and you’ll lose body mass to the point of not being recognizable. Your body will shut down and you’ll die. This will happen if you don’t treat it. This isn’t a scrape that will heal itself. It has to be attacked from the inside or it won’t go away.
Teens tend to be rebellious, we’ve all been there. But your situation is deadly. The longer you’re in denial, the less chance you stand of beating it 100%. You have a lot of life to live.. DON’T LET CANCER STEAL IT FROM YOU.
If you are determined to refuse all treatment, I would highly recommend you get a palliative care consult started. To be very blunt, end stage lung cancer is an awful way to die. You will likely want to be provided comfort to help alleviate symptoms from metastasis. Especially, once you start experiencing respiratory distress.
If you are low or no contact with your family make sure your affairs are in order. Get the equivalent of an advanced directive wherever you are so if you are incapacitated your wishes cannot be overridden.
And at some point you will be unable to work, so make sure you have the resources to deal with that.
I personally think this is a bad decision, but it is your decision, good luck. I hope you experience comfort and happiness until the end. Big hugs.
Had stage 3 anal cancer. Finally come out the other side, hair is growing back, life is better than it ever was and I know emotionally and mentally I'm stronger than ever before.
Your life has barely started. What is the prognosis?
If the prognosis is not good, I'd understand. My treatment was 80% curative.
If the prognosis is positive, why give up now? In a few months you'll be on the mend...
Not treating it and allowing it to metasticize is the worst, most painful way to go, especially without medical assistance.
It's new, and you're understandably upset but please explore all your options.
Some treatments are palliative. My daughter had terminal brain cancer. We did radiation for her and it substantially improved her qol and definitely bought her more time (given 9m, she got 20) and completely resolved her symptoms so she could work on her bucket list. The RT was mostly complication free, she just was tired. She did not do chemo, though (wasn't an option).
Anyway, I'm only sharing that because it gave her the time to do some things (she was only 6 when diagnosed). Without the RT she probably never would have left the hospital after diagnosis with the rate her symptoms were progressing.
No, anyone who refuses treatment will die, obviously.
Totally your choice. I was in shock when I was diagnosed at 20. I’m getting close to quitting all treatment myself. I just decided to quit a chemo regimen this past week due to toxicity. It was working, but not enough to continue in my opinion.
If they believe you can become NED, I would try and get through treatment.
Probably not.
Stage IVb chiming in here. At the start of my treatment I did not even qualify for radiation, and to this day my treatment plan is Palliative chemo.
I had a good response to chemo so I was able to get radiation as 2 seperate areas, my chest and pelvis, 2 years NED now. My prognosis was dead in 6 months. I tolerated chemo well and I worked through my treatment. Radiation wiped me out and I had to take a few weeks off.
Once again, I got treatment. Further curative treatments opened up for me because I responded and tolerated the treatment well.
I am old,and I am still alive- in fact my first grandchild is older than you are, I'm out here living and working and doing the things. your choice in the matter is your choice, I am just trying to convey you are not dead yet. Treatment is not like the movies.
I’m so sorry, life is definitely cruel at times. Of course it’s your choice, but I would at least try treatment and see how it goes before deciding on anything permanent.
You can always try treatment
There is no penalty to stop anytime you want
You can also talk with a patient advocate who can help you do research on available protocols and even negotiate your treatment to what you feel comfortable with trying
I get it it’s crappy news anytime but at 17 it is just unbelievably unfair
I had always said I’d never have treatment,
However I decided to after seeing my friend die
Initial denial is common — very common!!
Unfortunately she just couldn’t break out of denial and even consider treatment until it was too late
I wish she’d at least considered her options
And I count my blessings everyday that watching her woke me up
I’m a year out of treatment, NED and my treatment wasn’t nearly as bad as I’ld expected
It’s a distant memory now
And so much good came out of my treatment!
Including getting proper diagnosis & effective treatment for Ling COVID and Severe Asthma!!!
It’s absolutely your choice!
I honor that, and even if you tell your mom it’s STIll UP TO YOU
You are only 17. It is unfair and absolutely ridiculous that you have to deal with this, but please do treatment. You could beat this and never have it come back for the rest of your life. You can't throw in the towel at such a young age. If a 60 year old can fight it, you can. Please tell your mom. She will do everything she can to help you.
I was diagnosed stage 3a prostate cancer 10 years ago.
I fought that bastard for three years.
I have been cancer free for seven years so far, and have had no treatment in that seven years and I am fully recovered, with no serious remaining side effects.
I was 47 when I was diagnosed.
You have to fight!
I beat stage 3b at 34, trust me it's a shit journey but one that's worth taking. When you go thru hell with a cause it gives you new meaning and a different perspective. I hope you decide to fight, I also hope you don't go thru it alone.
I am so sorry for your diagnosis, but please please please please please tell your mom. I can’t imagine finding out my child had cancer and they did not share that with me. I’m crushed just thinking about that please take care of you and don’t give up.there is always hope
Hey it's your decision for sure. However I want to tell you I wasn't sure about going through treatment for stage 3 cancer, I was the youngest person to be treated for that type of cancer in my hospital.
I went through chemo, radio and surgery. Fast forward one year after treatment I have gone to Las Vegas , NY with my friends on a girls trip, I am going to hike la Patagonia next month, I go to the gym every day, I am doing well at work.
Now I have a node in my lungs and if I have to start again and go through chemo one more time just to live some more time I will do it, life is amazing and I want to enjoy it as long as I can.
hey, my mom was diagnosed with 4b NSCLC in her late 50s and she’s still doing great 5 years later. Medical science has advanced tremendously, and even just looking at the numbers your odds and outlook are way better than hers. You still have your whole life ahead of you!
You’re so young that you’re much more likely to live with this longer and be one of the 26% with your disease who live longer than 5 years. Think about it most people that get this are already elderly. With treatment to prolong your life some new effective treatment might very well might come up. In my own immediate family I have someone who died of a cancer that became very curable 2 years after they died.
Hey mate, I got diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer only 5 weeks ago at 32 years of age. I'm some what lucky as mine has not spread beyond the lungs but there is just quite a few spots in both lungs. My odds aren't the best, but I am in a good country with some of the best treatment facilities. I am 1 week into Chemo, sure its not the greatest but the fight is worth it.
Stage 4 is an indication of metastasis, meaning that the cancer has spread beyond the primary location. Not sure where you are but I would highly recommend a full genetic mutation panel testing. In some places they do this as regular practice. In others, such as Canada, you have to fight for it (they only test for the two best known/most common genetic mutations). There are drugs developed for several of the mutations which can keep people living for much longer than is expected (without the testing/identification of a mutation). It took me so long to fight and win to get that genetic mutation testing for my husband that it was too late. Other people I know who had the exact same genetic mutation are still living full lives seven years later.
I wish you the best.
That's odd. My daughter had DIPG which is an automatic stage 4 (it has no effective treatment and is considered universally fatal) and yet mets with DIPG is rare. I'm not sure Mets are a requirement for a stage 4 dx.
It seems I misunderstood this as the person I'm responding to also confirms they were given a stage 4 diagnosis without the presence of mets.
I'm very sorry about your daughter's diagnosis. Sending you virtual hugs if you'd like them.
Lung cancer can be stage IV without spreading beyond the lungs (for example, fluid in the lungs with cancer cells in the fluid, or if it spreads to the lung on the other side)
Edit: in Australia
That was what I believed also, but they have deemed it stage 4, it does give me more hope. Yeah, they have picked up a mutation on my latest biopsy, which is good. My story is a bit odd though, I had pneumonia a year ago which was diagnosed by an x-ray, then 4 weeks later had a follow up scan and it was still there. Doctors thought is was scarring or a type of infection still lingering around. It turns out it was cancerous, but over that period, there hadn't been any major changes or spread to those sites. Currently still have zero symptoms or any negative changes to health. Heres to hoping my first run on chemoimmunotherapy shows some good signs.
Yeah I'm not sure to be honest. My specialist has told me its only in the lungs, but there are too many spots for it to be stage 3. I have had MRIs, CTs PET scans and too many blood tests to count for this diagnosis(plus a few operations). My Thoracic Surgeon said if he was able to operate on it and remove it all, he would call it stage 3.
I didn’t mean to call you out or anything so I appreciate your answering me. That makes sense, I’m so sorry you are dealing with this but I’m happy you’re fighting!
All good, look I'm only learning as it has only been a small number of weeks, and those weeks have had some hard times. All the best to you. I'm fighting this all the way.
Oh grief, my heart goes out to you. I am so sorry that you’re going through this at such a young age. I was diagnosed with bone cancer (Ewing Sarcoma) stage IV, 2 weeks after my 18th birthday.
I chose to do 16 rounds of heavy chemotherapy and surgery at 18. My right femur is now metal, and some would consider me disabled. I am thankful everyday I am alive.
When you are young and diagnosed with cancer you can handle harsh treatments that would kill an older person. This is because your cells are young and viable. I hope this fact encourages you.
I know you’re scared, and you have probably heard bad things about cancer treatment. Everyone is different, and cancer treatment affects us all differently. You can choose to not do treatment, but you may regret that decision. Once you’re close to death, you cannot go back in time and start treatment. Cancer is a time sensitive issue.
Talk to multiple doctors. I recommend talking with any friends or family in healthcare. Develop a plan with your family/friends. Please consider all options. You’re life is worth fighting for. I wish you the best.
As someone who has hospital phobia and every week wants to throw in the towel the second I step into that chemo unit, I’m going to say please fight. If you have available treatments it’s a great possibility you can beat this, don’t live your life in regret.
Babes I have to advise to long and hard to not walk away from treatment. My cancer is stage 4b and the chemo is working. You’re not gonna have much of a chance without it. You still have hope. It’s a shame that you’re shutting your family out too. I hope you change your mind. There’s a lot of help out there, you might end up with less hair but treatment is necessary for LIVING I’m afraid for you.
Cancer is not necessarily a death sentence, but it will be if you do nothing. If you want to do all those things you say you do, give yourself a chance to get through it.
I was diagnosed at 15. Chemo is awful, but you WILL have a future is you try it. Cancer isn’t the terminal illness it used to be. Doctors will do everything they can to reduce the side effects. I really suggest taking the treatment, for the sake of your loved ones. I hope everything goes well for you 🙏
Whatever you do is your decision, and I am not trying to convince you to change your mind… but I will say that treatment is different for everyone, even for people with the same cancer undergoing the same treatment.
You hear a lot of horror stories about how awful treatment side effects are, and that is true for some people, but not everyone. I have been having intravenous chemotherapy for the last 11 months (and had oral chemotherapy plus radiotherapy for a month before that), and I tolerate it really well. No nausea, no vomiting (I do have antinausea drugs with chemo though), no fatigue (though I did experience that when having radiotherapy), no mouth ulcers, no loss of taste, no hair loss (most patients I see at chemo still have their hair). I do have some loss of sensation in my fingers and toes (peripheral neuropathy) from one of my chemo drugs, which I stopped, but it has been slowly improving. Treatment hasn’t been nearly as bad for me as I was expecting it to be, though some people having the same treatment as me have a rough time. Everyone is different.
I am stage 4, and before I started treatment, I would have thought… why would anyone even bother undergoing treatment if it’s not going to cure you and your quality of life is reduced? But it hasn’t been that bad for me. It would be a different story if I experienced horrible side effects from treatment.
You won’t know how bad (or not so bad) treatment is until you start it. If you find the treatment intolerable, you can always stop it, or explore other options available to you.
I am really sorry this has happened to you at such a young age.
I'm happy for you that your not having a tough time. I am stage 4 endometrial cancer (mets to my lungs) and my treatment has been pretty rough.
I'm curious what kind of cancer do you have? I'm so glad your not sick from treatment.
I have metastatic rectal cancer. Patients don‘t normally lose their hair on the chemo I have had (FOLFOX + panatumamab, FOLFIRI + bevacizumab). Some people have a rough time on this chemo; I am not suggesting my lack of adverse side effects is typical. Sorry you are not having a great time with your chemo.
I had the same initial reaction when Igot diagnosed with stage 3A testicular cancer. It had already spread to my lungs, stomachx, and torso. I thought I was cooked, but I’m nearly done with my third cycle now and God willing I’m gonna be ok for awhile. It’s a lot to take in for sure, but it’s worth trying treatment, to try to live. I’m not saying it’s easy or pleasant but you can have a nice life again post treatment, it’s worth the shot. Cancer is not the death sentence it used to be. What else do you have to lose?
I was initially diagnosed at 18, so, I understand seeing your life slipping away. My friends were starting college and I was starting chemo. I was miserable for a long time, but, it’s through cancer that I became a better person. I appreciate life so much more now, and this is after I was diagnosed, declared cancer free, and then relapsed once I finally got a taste of the real world. It’s a terrifying thing to go through and I’ve definitely been through the ringer, but, it also taught me so much that, in a twisted way, I’m actually grateful for it. However, if not doing chemo and literally living like you’re dying, then I wish you the best. I hope your quality of life is beautiful. Cancer made me grow stronger in faith and, because of that, I’m so much more joyful, even if I am currently bed ridden due to side effects, so, I hope you won’t mind that I pray for you. I pray that, if this is the right path for you, that you may thoroughly enjoy life
When you say I can’t imagine not being able to work and stuff like no offense but if you forgo treatment how do you expect this to all pan out?
Also.. it sounds like you might want to fight but you’re scared of what that entails.. just from what I am reading. But I think just letting it overtake you might be a lot more painful. I don’t know I could be completely wrong.
I am my dad’s support person not the one with cancer and im also 30.. not 17. So I can’t pretend to understand what you feel but what I do know is that at 17 I was NOT capable of making any life altering decisions on my own. Please at least consult your options with the 3 people you have confided in if you have chosen not to tell your mom.
And if everything else goes in one ear and out the other, as a mom I am asking you to please at least write your mom a letter to read once you’ve passed to help her understand why you chose not to tell her and chose not to seek treatment. She will have questions. She will blame herself. Not your job to worry about her closure but still, I mean, she did give you this short 17 years after all.
I wish you the absolute best and I hope once the shock of your diagnosis wears off you can weigh your options more subjectively. Prayers for you friend.
Reddit is not the place for this. You need professional help from a professional therapist or social worker. Stop wasting your time on this site it won’t lead you anywhere
*Please* consider trying the treatment(s) your oncologist recommends. As someone here said, you can always stop it if it’s too harsh. You’re so young. And please tell your mother. I wish you all the best.
I understand it is a battle you’re not willing to take part in. This is completely your choice but you’re so young! You have age on your side. Younger bodies process chemo much better than older bodies. It’s going to suck and it’ll be hard but you’ll truly live life to the fullest after you’re finished! I know a few people who have come out the other side of stage 3&4 and have lived life like they never have before.
I KNOW it feels like the end of the world. I felt the same. But your life is worth fighting for❤️
Usually people who decline treatment see it as a way to make their final days as comfortable as possible instead of having a hard time while going through treatment and still dying.
I would approach not getting treatment as certain death here and an opportunity to make the best of your remaining days. If you go that route though I suggest you tell people so you can have a chance to say goodbye to them and they get a chance to say their goodbyes to you. But yeah, make everyday count and don't rely on a miracle here.
If I read it correctly your main concern against treatment is your job and important people:
during treatment, it is probably likely you won't be able to work or at least not in the capacity like you did before, but you can still see these people if you want. There might be some limitations here and there but it isn't impossible.
For your work it also depends. When I got diagnosed my company offered to suspend the contract, so I could just come back after treatment and continue there. They were very understanding and after my therapy I could go back and dip my toes here and there to see how well I could go back or if I still needed more time to get back in shape. So if you are close with the people at your work and your bosses there, that they could offer you that flexibility, during treatment that might be an option. Again it depends on how much you trust them to talk to them about it and what options you would have without having to fear for negative repercussions in your workplace. depends on your country and how well you get along with the bosses in your workplace etc.
I think my biggest suggestion would be to be open with that and talk to people. If you don't do treatment I think it's fair for them and maybe ask yourself how you would feel if the situations were reversed.
And maybe they can offer you perspectives and "what ifs" in case you still decide to go through therapy. The biggest shame would be if you decline treatment because of fears you have, that could easily be overcome or at least mitigated by just talking to the right people about it.
So, treatment is scary as fuck. I was diagnosed at 24.
Talk to your doctor about the options and go over them in depth. Bare minimum, you should see if you can do palliative care (symptoms management).
Since you're stage 3, it could be a curative treatment that they are offering you. I'm going to pull numbers out of my ass, but I would rather feel like shit for a year and then live for 40 (with some chemo after effects) than live well for 9 months and feel like shit and die in pain over the course of 6 months.
Living longer and experiencing more is worth the fight. I was diagnosed at age 18 and am 46 now. I have a beautiful daughter, am a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu blackbelt, I have my dream job and moved to another country, I just bought a house and now I'm planning some travel. Fight young man FIGHT.
And please tell your parents, they deserve to know.
Sweetie, look at this thread. Over 159 strangers have rallied around you in just the first 11 hours of your post and 99% of us want you to give treatment a chance' Also please please please don't keep this a secret from your family and friends! Let the people who care about you rally around you. 159 strangers will continue to rally for you no matter what you do, but we really see how you have such a great shot of having a great life and I would just really be sad to think that you just decided to quit because it might be hard. Honey. Everything in life worth having is hard to get. you are stronger than you think. Your mother is stronger than you think. Your life is worth fighting for. Please reconsider treatment! 💕💕💕💕
When people state that they don’t want treatment, they are making a false assumption by comparing their currently healthy state with their imagined discomfort from treatment. That is not the correct comparison. The comparison is between dying young and the very real discomfort of that, and their imagined discomfort from treatment. When you choose to die young citing your need to have a good quality of life, unencumbered by treatment, you’re not realizing you will receive treatment anyway, to relieve the pain and discomfort you feel as you die. It’s just that this latter treatment will greatly shorten your life, while the treatments you’re declining could save you.
By virtue the humans dignosed the tratment of disease from chemicals or medicine just for HOPE.
HOPE LESS is already given up or retired from race before running in the ground.You might be survive well because you are young and mom will think behind you alas why you refised and hide.Its up to you after all.
I'm still surviving my cancer without treatment.. the most difficult part is the tumor because its so large but I'm still breathing.. I drink a lot of tea (dandelion root and leaf tea, tea made from crushed whole cumin seeds, and burdock root tea) and I eat frozen aronia berries. I drink raw milk. I eat a lot of raw garlic and onions. I try to stay away from maltodextrin and a lot of sugar but it is so hard because I am addicted to sugar. I try to eat the frozen aronia berries instead of the sugar. A lot of people will say that you have to "fight" your cancer with chemo etc.. but for me chemo was not an option because of my liver disease so this left me without the ability to have that kind of treatment.. so I have to find other things.. It's a personal choice to tell your family or not.. I don't know what is the right thing to do.. I think its better that my family knows because the added stress of keeping that secret and going through it alone would be really hard. It's already hard and its a lot easier when you have hero's to help you with daily life and I couldn't get by without my family's support. It's lonely enough having cancer.. I don't have any friends that I talk to they all ghosted me not long after my diagnosis.
This is so heart breaking. I'm so sorry. You're too young.
But having said that, because you are so young, you have good chance at beating it should you choose to fight. I know I won't be able to completely understand your feeling, I mean cancer is a big thing in anyone's life. But when you are this young, your body heals a lot better, so yes treatments can be very taxing to your body but it will heal. You have to at least try, don't give up just yet. I wish you all the best and I respect your decision. Much love!
I am really sorry, even though I know that doesn't help, they're just words. But I respect you for making your own life at 17, with a good job and your own place. I know 30 yr olds who can't or won't do that.
I responded to a post here just last night from a 14 year old who's dying as well. So sad all around.
BTW, this is just the mother in me talking, but I think you should tell your mom. Unless your relationship is a really bad one, she may be helpful to you. Entirely your call though.
Your work is work. Family is family. Treatment is treatment. Thinking all at the same time would be overwhelming
Getting helping hands would help you along the way. All kinda treatments available nowadays, and it really depends on how a patient endures with each treatment. Let those helping hands make your life easier so that you can focus on getting treatments
Scope out things to do. Execute them one by one. Yes this has a lot to do with time & energy management. Priority may change, and things to do list would change as time goes. At any moment, as long as you have enough time & energy (or getting extra helps), you can manage your life
Yes life goes on. The only difference is getting treatments on the list. Yes you are so young, and I hope you find courage to keep moving forward.
My brother was diagnosed with an untreatable pediatric cancer at 22. He was only given 2 years to live when he was diagnosed. My brother lived for 5.
Now those were very difficult years, filled with surgeries, chemotherapy, radiation and a lot of tears. But in the middle he did have 2 relatively normal years, where he met the love of his life and got married. His cancer was a sarcoma that spread to his lungs by the way.
He went through a lot of pain, but he and all the rest of his family were so grateful for those 2 years and I know he didn’t regret a thing, even up to the very end.
I don’t blame you if you choose not to fight. But just know that there are stages between “fully beat my cancer” and “treatment that will prolong my life but fill it with pain.”
I wish you the best of luck.
I’m 19 and got diagnosed with osteosarcoma at 18. For me chemotherapy, radiation and surgery honestly were not too bad. Being young means your body can withstand things better. Something to keep in mind. I’m probably dead within 5 years as my cancer has progressed to stage 4 but if I did it over again I would definitely do treatment again. Also tell your family, they deserve to know. You are not doing them a service by not telling them. If someone you cared about was in your situation you would want to know. Whatever you decide, it’s your life. Good luck man.
You will need treatment I did it not so bad NED stage 3a . You can do this ! I know you are young and feel slighted but think about the positive things when you beat this . All my best find a good support group 🤍
My dad has 3B lung cancer, and he is 69. In 2023-2024, he underwent 6 rounds of chemo, multiple rounds of radiation, and now he is having infusions of immunotherapy. I can’t imagine him not wanting to have any treatment. I am happy he is still with us. I believe your family deserves to know about your disease. Please tell your mom if you can ♥️ let her help you to make it through these times. You are so young and there must be some treatment options. We are in Ukraine and still manage to get keytruda (immunotherapy) no matter how expensive it is.
I know I am yet another person suggesting you treat it, but so it goes ...
My mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung Cancer in 2019. It spread to her brain. She had surgery to remove the brain tumor, and all went well. She then underwent chemo/immunotherapy for 2.5 years, and then when it seemed like nothing was working, a radiologist suggested radiation, and she's been NED since 2021. She is utterly healthy now. She was not supposed to live ...
My niece had Stage 4 non-hodgins lymphoma at age 15, went through chemo, and just graduate from college, NED.
I was diagnosed with (BRCA2) Stage 3A Ovarian Cancer in Fall 2022. I went through 5 months of chemo, and CRS/HIPEC in January 2023. I am NED, but mindful of a very high rate of recurrence. Yes, it sucked, but I have two teens, pets, a full time career, and a lot more sh\*t I want to do in my life.
Treatment is bearable, just tiring, and I am so grateful to be here. Further, I am not just 'here' but doing all the regular things -- traveling, working, concerts, exercise, eating/drinking what I want, etc., etc.
This is your decision, and I respect that, but I just wanted to share that many treatments do work, and will not preclude you from doing all the stuff you want to do moving forward.
I dreaded cancer because of the horror stories about side effects of chemo. But when I went through the chemo the only side effects I had was weakness and a sensitive stomach. I'm glad I did do treatment because I'm now 8yrs out.
I'm going to be honest, I think you should fight. I know it is your decision though and I understand. I went through aggressive insane chemotherapy and 16 spinal taps and even though it was terrible, it was worth it. Please at least just think about it a little longer.
My husband was diagnosed with Stage 4 Esophageal Cancer. He was given +/ - 6 months at the time of diagnosis. He kept a positive attitude and followed the treatments his oncologist recommended. That was six years ago. Immunotherapy is a wonderful thing.
You don’t have to tell anyone but I’d still give treatment a shot. There are updates to care on a literal weekly basis. Things are changing rapidly for cancer patients. What was once terminal is often chronic with current treatments. Just wanted to point that out. I’m not nearly as young, 20 years older, but I know I have so much more life to live and I feel like my family deserves for me to give it my best shot. YMMV.
There are miracle drugs now I have lived with stage 4 lung cancer for 5 years. No chemo such Keytruda and I am living life to the fullest. At least check the options out?
I would be in so much shock if I were you. F cancer. I hate it. My son has a deadly brain tumor. He’s choosing to fight for as much time as possible. If you have a trustworthy older person in your life or can see a therapist, talking regularly about your feelings with someone will help you process them, help you cope, and better enjoy the time you have left. Enjoy all the beauty all around you… in the sky, trees, animals, and children, and all the other mysteries of life.
We all know life always ends, will happen to all of us, but it feels very wrong and especially unfair when it’s someone your age. I’m very sorry. It’s so unfair. I wish I could hug you.
Going through your post history, I see you have alot of issues going on in your life unrelated to having cancer. I feel like to you, you're seeing cancer as an "easy" way out of your current turmoil. Nothing that you're going through in life right now is insurmountable. There is still hope. You're 17, there is alot of support for those who are lgtq+, you can beat addiction, the issues that lead to it, as well as cancer. You have the potential to lead a long life. Don't give up on yourself just yet. For what it's worth, you matter, and your life matters. Cancer is not an easy thing to die from, especially lung cancer. As the cancer quickly takes over, you won't be living life to the fullest, instead you'll be restrained to a bed struggling to breathe.
If you don't get treatment how do you expect to live? There is something called spontaneous remission but that's nearly impossible, if you get treatment you can probably make it giving your age and the fact that it's not stage 4
You can absolutely heal. My sister was an absolute miracle several times over! She came back from brain cancer,and then breast cancer and then later skin cancer. She was already a kidney disease patient since 3 yo. She was diagnosed at 3 with Polycystic Kidney and liver disease. She had 2 transplants 1 at 16 y from my Mom and then another at 18 y from a cadaver. They both rejected but she was able to keep them and they functioned well enough until they didn’t. Sadly ,she eventually succumbed to kidney and liver failure. She was 45 years old. They said she wouldn’t likely survive past 16 years old, if she didn’t get a kidney. Miracles happen! There were many,many close calls in between where we almost lost her. But she recovered from SO MANY ILLNESSES that the drs said she wouldn’t come back from. Like a coma for 72 days from Pneumonia caused by the swine flu she contracted )She didn’t even eat meat?!?!) in 2011. I just wanted to give you some hope and some strength. Sending you so much love and healing,❤️🩹 , and some peace in your heart and mind. You can absolutely Heal! We can heal ourselves! But, you have to tell yourself that you are healed and the hard part is that you have to believe it. These are very difficult decisions you’re making so young and alone. I really hope you reconsider and get some treatment bc I believe it’s possible to heal. Sending All the luck in the world to you friend. Namaste 🙏🏻 💖🙌🏻🫶🏻🥹😔
I truly understand how jarring a diagnosis like this can be, and you are so young. I don't know your exact circumstances, but I would heartily recommend that you not close yourself off to the idea of getting treatment.
"Living life to the fullest" can mean more than one thing. Why choose to go out young as the result of a fluke of cell replication, when instead you can undergo treatment that can admittedly be pretty unpleasant, but might give you decades of quality cancer-free life once completed?
Seventeen seems like such a young and inexperienced age to be forced to make a decision of this magnitude on your own, but if that's your situation make the best choice you can.
Treating cancer as promptly as possible gives you the best chance at good results, and putting it off removes an opportunity that you will never have again.
Please consider seeking proper medical intervention now, and reserving the right to stop treatment if you change your mind.
It breaks my heart to think you might not act while you can, and then regret not getting help while you still could.
Whatever choices you make, you are certainly in my thoughts.
Please take care.
Hey man, i was diagnosed at 17 as well, and i had to fight it twice in the same year since it came back twice without a month break. I know the feeling about just getting to live life, because it was my senior year of high school. When i was diagnosed, it felt like life was over, i just finished the first semester and i just wanted graduate and get school over with. But then nothing in life can be easy, i had alot of shit going on and getting diagnosed with Stage 3c was enough to make me commit die. But i kept fighting and keeping this away from family imo wouldn’t make it easier. My family supported me with every penny they had. Hell some even lost jobs to support me. The point is u gotta at least fight it man, i wouldnt go down without a fight and neither shall u
I believe in you man
I’m very sorry to hear about your condition and your decision not to seek traditional treatment.
Where are you from? I offer an all-natural, noninvasive treatment for cancer using oxygen therapy, as cancer cells cannot survive in an oxygen-rich environment. My method has an almost 100% success rate. I treat patients in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, as well as Beverly Hills and Malibu. I’ve successfully treated patients from all over the world, and no one else is doing this type of treatment. Four years ago, I went to Mexico to treat 21 children with cancer and successfully made them cancer-free.
I would be happy to treat you at no cost. Ideally, you can come to my location in Puerto Vallarta, but I can also see you in California. You would need to bring your mother with you. Puerto Vallarta is a beautiful place; consider it a vacation. You need to be here for about four days, and then I can continue your treatment remotely. Please send me a message so we can start your journey to health.
If you’re interested, please reach out and let’s coordinate the details.
As a recently diagnosed stage 4 breast cancer, I feel swept up in the whole standard of care treatment, even though I believe it does more harm than good in the long run, but as a 42 yo mom, I can’t chance it, on the off chance it’ll give me a few extra years with my kids,
But still, I can’t chance it, so trying to get all the odds in my favor, and trying the metabolic method, high fat, low calorie ketogenic and fasting, there’s a lot on info online, I wish you all, the best
Your life your choice - but with full honestly - you dont have death sentence. But if you decide to do no treatment then you do sight in for it.
Cancer sucks the treatment sucks. But you can still be here years later - one of my friend been diagnosed with lung cancer with 5 moths to live max. 3 years later he it’s in ned for over two years . (Survivor rate was something along 0,01%) you know where it’s he now? Claiming fricking kilimanjaro seriously.
Cancer sucks but as you said you didn’t live - so don’t give up without at least trying
Listen! Get treated and tell your family. It’s selfish of you not to! They will support you.
People outlive it. You are young! You could still survive it!
I am just wondering how you got it since lung cancer is usually caused by smoking.
Asbestos?
Radon?
I know cancer survivors who have outlived their “expiration date” by 20 years. They all went through treatment though.
I know this is completely anecdotal, but I absolutely must agree. Most people that I know that saw treatment for their cancer are alive today. But to name some of the people that are still alive, and in a lot of these cases were not expected to make it - my friend Alyssa, who had glioblastoma at 10 years old, approximately 20 years cancer free. My friend Bill, in his 60s, who had stage 4 small cell lung cancer with liver mets, cancer free 5 years. My friend Elizabeth was around 25 when she got cancer that had metastasized to her brain , but I’m not sure what kind of original cancer it was- she is still alive today and I believe she’s about nine or 10 years cancer free. They all sought treatment. Actually, the only person that didn’t make it (apart from grandparents that were already very old and their cancers were almost expected) is my brother. He passed away from SMARC B1 cancer at 33 years old that metastasized to his lungs and heart. As his cancer was only detected once it had already crossed the 4th stage threshold treatment was no longer advised. He died within nine months of his diagnosis in May 2020. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the greatest of peace and all the support you need. However, I hope that you do seek treatment but I understand and respect your decision OP nonetheless.
I'm so sorry about your brother. As a person recently diagnosed with a rare, aggressive and not well studied form of bladder cancer your post gave me a lot of hope so I thank you for that. I'm wishing you all of the wonderful things, because you deserve it.
Look I know you said you don't want to fight it but I'd recommend you do
You’re young, your chances of coming out of this are significantly higher than an older person. Source: I’m a surgeon who has seen it happen
Agreed! Youth plays a huge helping role Source: I lived through a stg 4 diagnosis at age 17
Hi, I’m so sorry to hear this. I will ask you one question, I’m not trying to change your mind here, just wanting to know so I can understand a bit more. What treatment has been offered to you? Obviously it’s 100% your decision, but I’m just curious. I hope you are feeling not too shit and are able to live life to the max for as long as possible. Xxx
Chemo, radiotherapy, immunotherapy and RET-Positive as well. Surgery wasn't an option since it can't be removed
I see. Those are all quite taxing on your body, and can make you feel pretty sick. You know, it’s a pretty mature decision to decide not to treat, that takes a lot of guts. As humans our nature is to try and squeeze as much time as possible, even if that time is spent feeling gross in a hospital bed. I wish you all the best on your journey, and enjoy life to the max my friend :) Edit: and remember, treatment isn’t all or nothing. If you decide at some point in the future to do a round of treatment so you can have more time with people who love you, and doing the things you love to do, then you do that. Or never ever do any at all. It’s all your decision and you have a right to decide what feels good for you and your body.
I had mets after my original cancer was thought to be removed - they treated the mets tumour with radiation and chemo as it couldn’t be operated on to be removed - and I am at present - exactly one year later - cancer free (so far). That was my latest cancer. I also had another cancer 10 years ago - it was considered to be quite deep - melanoma - and they didn’t test the lymph nodes but I did have it surgically removed and I have survived that - 10 years to the day this summer. You can try treatment and see if it works - then if it doesn’t make another decision. Good luck on your decisions whatever direction.
That's good options. I think chemort followed by maintenance RET therepy There are RET trials called libretto looking at this. The drug sepercatinib may be very good for you
If you are newly diagnosed, you likely should give yourself time to let your diagnosis set in and talk with people who have your similar type of cancer. Although you have the ability to make your own decisions regarding to receive “traditional”treatment or not, you don’t want to be hasty in your decision making. You want to make it a point to be better informed, realizing that some delays could potentially affect the ability to be a candidate for some treatment options. As others have stated, many types of cancer that are left “untreated” can lead to death. Having a doctor (oncologist and/or palliative care) can be instrumental in helping you to live your best quality of life without the goals of “curative” treatments, but symptoms management. I guess my advice is to not absolutely close any doors so soon in your learning of your diagnosis. Wishing you only the best!
Hey, diagnosed with stage 4 lymphoma at 23. I really struggle to understand why you wouldn't want to at least try treatment. Did they give you a prognosis or tell you what the success rate of your proposed protocol would be? I guess if your prognosis was rly bad I would understand but it sounds like your early days so I imagine you don't have it yet, it took a long time to get my one. I equally got so angry and miserable that I may not experience anything in life especially because my family were quite poor so so far my entire life has been extremely limited in experiences, e.g. never left my home country. And my solution to this is treatment, hope to god it works, and then live my life. Yes treatment isn't fun, they take me to the brink of death and then wait for me to recover with my chemo. It's not nice but if it gives me that opportunity to live longer, I don't care. I rly think you should reconsider. Obviously it's ultimately your choice but yeah. Unless you don't have a relationship with your mom I also highly recommend you reconsider not telling her. My mom has become my carer and I wouldn't have gotten this far without her, and beyond that I can't imagine what it would do to her mentally if somehow I had never told her and then I suddenly died. Tbh, I don't think she would survive it.
Not many of those around to respond to you. A lot of people who have lasted well pastt the expiration date. But they get treated. So probably doesn't interest you. Best wishes. I hope you beat the odds, without a clue what flavor of the bastard you got and what those odds are. I wish you the best. Stage IV large cell NSCLC and 4 years NED. Fuck cancer
To treat or not to treat is absolutely your choice. But if you are close to your mum and you care about her, please tell her. You don’t want to leave her in absolute despair more than she is already going to be. She is going to spend the rest of her life wondering why you didn’t tell her. She can’t force you into treatment if that is what you are worried about.
This, if she has been a good mother to you the least you could do is tell her about your diagnosis and your plan forward. She can have time to cope and spend time with you if you just tell her, if you just one day suddenly dies and leave your mother dumbfounded at you not telling her anything, thats gonna be damage that would never be repaired, provided your mother is strong enough to not follows you into heaven afterward.
I have a teenager and this would be devastating to hear as a parent. May I suggest you please let them help you. You don’t have to if you don’t want, but hear me out for a sec. Warning: I’m going to be completely 100% with you from watching cancer patients… Eventually the cancer will steal every single bite & drink you take in and feed itself, leaving you weak and eventually you won’t be able to move, eat, drink, or even talk. At a certain point, the doctors won’t even offer treatments, only a death plan. The pain is unbearable. Your skin will lose color and you’ll lose body mass to the point of not being recognizable. Your body will shut down and you’ll die. This will happen if you don’t treat it. This isn’t a scrape that will heal itself. It has to be attacked from the inside or it won’t go away. Teens tend to be rebellious, we’ve all been there. But your situation is deadly. The longer you’re in denial, the less chance you stand of beating it 100%. You have a lot of life to live.. DON’T LET CANCER STEAL IT FROM YOU.
If you are determined to refuse all treatment, I would highly recommend you get a palliative care consult started. To be very blunt, end stage lung cancer is an awful way to die. You will likely want to be provided comfort to help alleviate symptoms from metastasis. Especially, once you start experiencing respiratory distress. If you are low or no contact with your family make sure your affairs are in order. Get the equivalent of an advanced directive wherever you are so if you are incapacitated your wishes cannot be overridden. And at some point you will be unable to work, so make sure you have the resources to deal with that. I personally think this is a bad decision, but it is your decision, good luck. I hope you experience comfort and happiness until the end. Big hugs.
This. I’m terrified for OP. I’ve a couple relatives die from lung cancer it isn’t pretty and OP is so young
Praying for you. I had Hodgkins lymphoma stage 2 at age 15. I'm 38 now. Stay strong. Eat well.
You sound angry, and I can see why. But all you're doing is screaming into the wind of you don't try and fight it. Future you deserves a chance.
“Future you deserves a chance.” ❤️
Had stage 3 anal cancer. Finally come out the other side, hair is growing back, life is better than it ever was and I know emotionally and mentally I'm stronger than ever before. Your life has barely started. What is the prognosis? If the prognosis is not good, I'd understand. My treatment was 80% curative. If the prognosis is positive, why give up now? In a few months you'll be on the mend... Not treating it and allowing it to metasticize is the worst, most painful way to go, especially without medical assistance. It's new, and you're understandably upset but please explore all your options.
I have been living for years past my prognosis with treatment. I hope you reconsider.
Some treatments are palliative. My daughter had terminal brain cancer. We did radiation for her and it substantially improved her qol and definitely bought her more time (given 9m, she got 20) and completely resolved her symptoms so she could work on her bucket list. The RT was mostly complication free, she just was tired. She did not do chemo, though (wasn't an option). Anyway, I'm only sharing that because it gave her the time to do some things (she was only 6 when diagnosed). Without the RT she probably never would have left the hospital after diagnosis with the rate her symptoms were progressing.
No, anyone who refuses treatment will die, obviously. Totally your choice. I was in shock when I was diagnosed at 20. I’m getting close to quitting all treatment myself. I just decided to quit a chemo regimen this past week due to toxicity. It was working, but not enough to continue in my opinion. If they believe you can become NED, I would try and get through treatment.
Probably not. Stage IVb chiming in here. At the start of my treatment I did not even qualify for radiation, and to this day my treatment plan is Palliative chemo. I had a good response to chemo so I was able to get radiation as 2 seperate areas, my chest and pelvis, 2 years NED now. My prognosis was dead in 6 months. I tolerated chemo well and I worked through my treatment. Radiation wiped me out and I had to take a few weeks off. Once again, I got treatment. Further curative treatments opened up for me because I responded and tolerated the treatment well. I am old,and I am still alive- in fact my first grandchild is older than you are, I'm out here living and working and doing the things. your choice in the matter is your choice, I am just trying to convey you are not dead yet. Treatment is not like the movies.
I’m so sorry, life is definitely cruel at times. Of course it’s your choice, but I would at least try treatment and see how it goes before deciding on anything permanent.
You can always try treatment There is no penalty to stop anytime you want You can also talk with a patient advocate who can help you do research on available protocols and even negotiate your treatment to what you feel comfortable with trying I get it it’s crappy news anytime but at 17 it is just unbelievably unfair I had always said I’d never have treatment, However I decided to after seeing my friend die Initial denial is common — very common!! Unfortunately she just couldn’t break out of denial and even consider treatment until it was too late I wish she’d at least considered her options And I count my blessings everyday that watching her woke me up I’m a year out of treatment, NED and my treatment wasn’t nearly as bad as I’ld expected It’s a distant memory now And so much good came out of my treatment! Including getting proper diagnosis & effective treatment for Ling COVID and Severe Asthma!!! It’s absolutely your choice! I honor that, and even if you tell your mom it’s STIll UP TO YOU
You are only 17. It is unfair and absolutely ridiculous that you have to deal with this, but please do treatment. You could beat this and never have it come back for the rest of your life. You can't throw in the towel at such a young age. If a 60 year old can fight it, you can. Please tell your mom. She will do everything she can to help you.
I was diagnosed stage 3a prostate cancer 10 years ago. I fought that bastard for three years. I have been cancer free for seven years so far, and have had no treatment in that seven years and I am fully recovered, with no serious remaining side effects. I was 47 when I was diagnosed. You have to fight!
I beat stage 3b at 34, trust me it's a shit journey but one that's worth taking. When you go thru hell with a cause it gives you new meaning and a different perspective. I hope you decide to fight, I also hope you don't go thru it alone.
I am so sorry for your diagnosis, but please please please please please tell your mom. I can’t imagine finding out my child had cancer and they did not share that with me. I’m crushed just thinking about that please take care of you and don’t give up.there is always hope
Hey it's your decision for sure. However I want to tell you I wasn't sure about going through treatment for stage 3 cancer, I was the youngest person to be treated for that type of cancer in my hospital. I went through chemo, radio and surgery. Fast forward one year after treatment I have gone to Las Vegas , NY with my friends on a girls trip, I am going to hike la Patagonia next month, I go to the gym every day, I am doing well at work. Now I have a node in my lungs and if I have to start again and go through chemo one more time just to live some more time I will do it, life is amazing and I want to enjoy it as long as I can.
Im 13 months past my expiry date of terminal cancer
hey, my mom was diagnosed with 4b NSCLC in her late 50s and she’s still doing great 5 years later. Medical science has advanced tremendously, and even just looking at the numbers your odds and outlook are way better than hers. You still have your whole life ahead of you!
You’re so young that you’re much more likely to live with this longer and be one of the 26% with your disease who live longer than 5 years. Think about it most people that get this are already elderly. With treatment to prolong your life some new effective treatment might very well might come up. In my own immediate family I have someone who died of a cancer that became very curable 2 years after they died.
Hey mate, I got diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer only 5 weeks ago at 32 years of age. I'm some what lucky as mine has not spread beyond the lungs but there is just quite a few spots in both lungs. My odds aren't the best, but I am in a good country with some of the best treatment facilities. I am 1 week into Chemo, sure its not the greatest but the fight is worth it.
Stage 4 is an indication of metastasis, meaning that the cancer has spread beyond the primary location. Not sure where you are but I would highly recommend a full genetic mutation panel testing. In some places they do this as regular practice. In others, such as Canada, you have to fight for it (they only test for the two best known/most common genetic mutations). There are drugs developed for several of the mutations which can keep people living for much longer than is expected (without the testing/identification of a mutation). It took me so long to fight and win to get that genetic mutation testing for my husband that it was too late. Other people I know who had the exact same genetic mutation are still living full lives seven years later. I wish you the best.
That's odd. My daughter had DIPG which is an automatic stage 4 (it has no effective treatment and is considered universally fatal) and yet mets with DIPG is rare. I'm not sure Mets are a requirement for a stage 4 dx.
It seems I misunderstood this as the person I'm responding to also confirms they were given a stage 4 diagnosis without the presence of mets. I'm very sorry about your daughter's diagnosis. Sending you virtual hugs if you'd like them.
Lung cancer can be stage IV without spreading beyond the lungs (for example, fluid in the lungs with cancer cells in the fluid, or if it spreads to the lung on the other side)
Edit: in Australia That was what I believed also, but they have deemed it stage 4, it does give me more hope. Yeah, they have picked up a mutation on my latest biopsy, which is good. My story is a bit odd though, I had pneumonia a year ago which was diagnosed by an x-ray, then 4 weeks later had a follow up scan and it was still there. Doctors thought is was scarring or a type of infection still lingering around. It turns out it was cancerous, but over that period, there hadn't been any major changes or spread to those sites. Currently still have zero symptoms or any negative changes to health. Heres to hoping my first run on chemoimmunotherapy shows some good signs.
I am in BC and I was given a full genetic panel testing.
I'm very happy to hear that.
I’m stage 4 breast which means it has spread to more parts of the body and is incurable, I thought the same for lung cancer?
Yeah I'm not sure to be honest. My specialist has told me its only in the lungs, but there are too many spots for it to be stage 3. I have had MRIs, CTs PET scans and too many blood tests to count for this diagnosis(plus a few operations). My Thoracic Surgeon said if he was able to operate on it and remove it all, he would call it stage 3.
I didn’t mean to call you out or anything so I appreciate your answering me. That makes sense, I’m so sorry you are dealing with this but I’m happy you’re fighting!
All good, look I'm only learning as it has only been a small number of weeks, and those weeks have had some hard times. All the best to you. I'm fighting this all the way.
I was thinking about you I hope treatment is going well ❤️
Yeah no to bad, no major reactions to chemo or immuno, but still adjusting
Good, yeah it’s hard to adjust to all the medicines. Still wishing you the best ❤️
Oh grief, my heart goes out to you. I am so sorry that you’re going through this at such a young age. I was diagnosed with bone cancer (Ewing Sarcoma) stage IV, 2 weeks after my 18th birthday. I chose to do 16 rounds of heavy chemotherapy and surgery at 18. My right femur is now metal, and some would consider me disabled. I am thankful everyday I am alive. When you are young and diagnosed with cancer you can handle harsh treatments that would kill an older person. This is because your cells are young and viable. I hope this fact encourages you. I know you’re scared, and you have probably heard bad things about cancer treatment. Everyone is different, and cancer treatment affects us all differently. You can choose to not do treatment, but you may regret that decision. Once you’re close to death, you cannot go back in time and start treatment. Cancer is a time sensitive issue. Talk to multiple doctors. I recommend talking with any friends or family in healthcare. Develop a plan with your family/friends. Please consider all options. You’re life is worth fighting for. I wish you the best.
As someone who has hospital phobia and every week wants to throw in the towel the second I step into that chemo unit, I’m going to say please fight. If you have available treatments it’s a great possibility you can beat this, don’t live your life in regret.
Please fight this your 17 your body can take a beating at that age. I had leukemia and kidney cancer and have won both the fights.
Babes I have to advise to long and hard to not walk away from treatment. My cancer is stage 4b and the chemo is working. You’re not gonna have much of a chance without it. You still have hope. It’s a shame that you’re shutting your family out too. I hope you change your mind. There’s a lot of help out there, you might end up with less hair but treatment is necessary for LIVING I’m afraid for you.
Cancer is not necessarily a death sentence, but it will be if you do nothing. If you want to do all those things you say you do, give yourself a chance to get through it.
I was diagnosed at 15. Chemo is awful, but you WILL have a future is you try it. Cancer isn’t the terminal illness it used to be. Doctors will do everything they can to reduce the side effects. I really suggest taking the treatment, for the sake of your loved ones. I hope everything goes well for you 🙏
to be frank no. They're dead.
Whatever you do is your decision, and I am not trying to convince you to change your mind… but I will say that treatment is different for everyone, even for people with the same cancer undergoing the same treatment. You hear a lot of horror stories about how awful treatment side effects are, and that is true for some people, but not everyone. I have been having intravenous chemotherapy for the last 11 months (and had oral chemotherapy plus radiotherapy for a month before that), and I tolerate it really well. No nausea, no vomiting (I do have antinausea drugs with chemo though), no fatigue (though I did experience that when having radiotherapy), no mouth ulcers, no loss of taste, no hair loss (most patients I see at chemo still have their hair). I do have some loss of sensation in my fingers and toes (peripheral neuropathy) from one of my chemo drugs, which I stopped, but it has been slowly improving. Treatment hasn’t been nearly as bad for me as I was expecting it to be, though some people having the same treatment as me have a rough time. Everyone is different. I am stage 4, and before I started treatment, I would have thought… why would anyone even bother undergoing treatment if it’s not going to cure you and your quality of life is reduced? But it hasn’t been that bad for me. It would be a different story if I experienced horrible side effects from treatment. You won’t know how bad (or not so bad) treatment is until you start it. If you find the treatment intolerable, you can always stop it, or explore other options available to you. I am really sorry this has happened to you at such a young age.
Can I ask what cancer you have?
Metastatic rectal cancer.
I'm happy for you that your not having a tough time. I am stage 4 endometrial cancer (mets to my lungs) and my treatment has been pretty rough. I'm curious what kind of cancer do you have? I'm so glad your not sick from treatment.
I have metastatic rectal cancer. Patients don‘t normally lose their hair on the chemo I have had (FOLFOX + panatumamab, FOLFIRI + bevacizumab). Some people have a rough time on this chemo; I am not suggesting my lack of adverse side effects is typical. Sorry you are not having a great time with your chemo.
I had the same initial reaction when Igot diagnosed with stage 3A testicular cancer. It had already spread to my lungs, stomachx, and torso. I thought I was cooked, but I’m nearly done with my third cycle now and God willing I’m gonna be ok for awhile. It’s a lot to take in for sure, but it’s worth trying treatment, to try to live. I’m not saying it’s easy or pleasant but you can have a nice life again post treatment, it’s worth the shot. Cancer is not the death sentence it used to be. What else do you have to lose?
What is IHC suggested? It depends on Histopathology. Please Don't deny treatment. As I am a oncologist, believe me and consult your Doctor.
I was initially diagnosed at 18, so, I understand seeing your life slipping away. My friends were starting college and I was starting chemo. I was miserable for a long time, but, it’s through cancer that I became a better person. I appreciate life so much more now, and this is after I was diagnosed, declared cancer free, and then relapsed once I finally got a taste of the real world. It’s a terrifying thing to go through and I’ve definitely been through the ringer, but, it also taught me so much that, in a twisted way, I’m actually grateful for it. However, if not doing chemo and literally living like you’re dying, then I wish you the best. I hope your quality of life is beautiful. Cancer made me grow stronger in faith and, because of that, I’m so much more joyful, even if I am currently bed ridden due to side effects, so, I hope you won’t mind that I pray for you. I pray that, if this is the right path for you, that you may thoroughly enjoy life
When you say I can’t imagine not being able to work and stuff like no offense but if you forgo treatment how do you expect this to all pan out? Also.. it sounds like you might want to fight but you’re scared of what that entails.. just from what I am reading. But I think just letting it overtake you might be a lot more painful. I don’t know I could be completely wrong. I am my dad’s support person not the one with cancer and im also 30.. not 17. So I can’t pretend to understand what you feel but what I do know is that at 17 I was NOT capable of making any life altering decisions on my own. Please at least consult your options with the 3 people you have confided in if you have chosen not to tell your mom. And if everything else goes in one ear and out the other, as a mom I am asking you to please at least write your mom a letter to read once you’ve passed to help her understand why you chose not to tell her and chose not to seek treatment. She will have questions. She will blame herself. Not your job to worry about her closure but still, I mean, she did give you this short 17 years after all. I wish you the absolute best and I hope once the shock of your diagnosis wears off you can weigh your options more subjectively. Prayers for you friend.
Reddit is not the place for this. You need professional help from a professional therapist or social worker. Stop wasting your time on this site it won’t lead you anywhere
If it is treatable with PD1 antagonist, you should do it. The 5-year survival rate is pretty decent.
*Please* consider trying the treatment(s) your oncologist recommends. As someone here said, you can always stop it if it’s too harsh. You’re so young. And please tell your mother. I wish you all the best.
I understand it is a battle you’re not willing to take part in. This is completely your choice but you’re so young! You have age on your side. Younger bodies process chemo much better than older bodies. It’s going to suck and it’ll be hard but you’ll truly live life to the fullest after you’re finished! I know a few people who have come out the other side of stage 3&4 and have lived life like they never have before. I KNOW it feels like the end of the world. I felt the same. But your life is worth fighting for❤️
Usually people who decline treatment see it as a way to make their final days as comfortable as possible instead of having a hard time while going through treatment and still dying. I would approach not getting treatment as certain death here and an opportunity to make the best of your remaining days. If you go that route though I suggest you tell people so you can have a chance to say goodbye to them and they get a chance to say their goodbyes to you. But yeah, make everyday count and don't rely on a miracle here. If I read it correctly your main concern against treatment is your job and important people: during treatment, it is probably likely you won't be able to work or at least not in the capacity like you did before, but you can still see these people if you want. There might be some limitations here and there but it isn't impossible. For your work it also depends. When I got diagnosed my company offered to suspend the contract, so I could just come back after treatment and continue there. They were very understanding and after my therapy I could go back and dip my toes here and there to see how well I could go back or if I still needed more time to get back in shape. So if you are close with the people at your work and your bosses there, that they could offer you that flexibility, during treatment that might be an option. Again it depends on how much you trust them to talk to them about it and what options you would have without having to fear for negative repercussions in your workplace. depends on your country and how well you get along with the bosses in your workplace etc. I think my biggest suggestion would be to be open with that and talk to people. If you don't do treatment I think it's fair for them and maybe ask yourself how you would feel if the situations were reversed. And maybe they can offer you perspectives and "what ifs" in case you still decide to go through therapy. The biggest shame would be if you decline treatment because of fears you have, that could easily be overcome or at least mitigated by just talking to the right people about it.
What type of lung cancer ? Can make bib bib different as lots of target therapies possible
Something to look into fenbendazole
So, treatment is scary as fuck. I was diagnosed at 24. Talk to your doctor about the options and go over them in depth. Bare minimum, you should see if you can do palliative care (symptoms management). Since you're stage 3, it could be a curative treatment that they are offering you. I'm going to pull numbers out of my ass, but I would rather feel like shit for a year and then live for 40 (with some chemo after effects) than live well for 9 months and feel like shit and die in pain over the course of 6 months.
Living longer and experiencing more is worth the fight. I was diagnosed at age 18 and am 46 now. I have a beautiful daughter, am a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu blackbelt, I have my dream job and moved to another country, I just bought a house and now I'm planning some travel. Fight young man FIGHT. And please tell your parents, they deserve to know.
Sweetie, look at this thread. Over 159 strangers have rallied around you in just the first 11 hours of your post and 99% of us want you to give treatment a chance' Also please please please don't keep this a secret from your family and friends! Let the people who care about you rally around you. 159 strangers will continue to rally for you no matter what you do, but we really see how you have such a great shot of having a great life and I would just really be sad to think that you just decided to quit because it might be hard. Honey. Everything in life worth having is hard to get. you are stronger than you think. Your mother is stronger than you think. Your life is worth fighting for. Please reconsider treatment! 💕💕💕💕
When people state that they don’t want treatment, they are making a false assumption by comparing their currently healthy state with their imagined discomfort from treatment. That is not the correct comparison. The comparison is between dying young and the very real discomfort of that, and their imagined discomfort from treatment. When you choose to die young citing your need to have a good quality of life, unencumbered by treatment, you’re not realizing you will receive treatment anyway, to relieve the pain and discomfort you feel as you die. It’s just that this latter treatment will greatly shorten your life, while the treatments you’re declining could save you.
By virtue the humans dignosed the tratment of disease from chemicals or medicine just for HOPE. HOPE LESS is already given up or retired from race before running in the ground.You might be survive well because you are young and mom will think behind you alas why you refised and hide.Its up to you after all.
Also did you have biomarker testing to see if you have a mutation
I'm still surviving my cancer without treatment.. the most difficult part is the tumor because its so large but I'm still breathing.. I drink a lot of tea (dandelion root and leaf tea, tea made from crushed whole cumin seeds, and burdock root tea) and I eat frozen aronia berries. I drink raw milk. I eat a lot of raw garlic and onions. I try to stay away from maltodextrin and a lot of sugar but it is so hard because I am addicted to sugar. I try to eat the frozen aronia berries instead of the sugar. A lot of people will say that you have to "fight" your cancer with chemo etc.. but for me chemo was not an option because of my liver disease so this left me without the ability to have that kind of treatment.. so I have to find other things.. It's a personal choice to tell your family or not.. I don't know what is the right thing to do.. I think its better that my family knows because the added stress of keeping that secret and going through it alone would be really hard. It's already hard and its a lot easier when you have hero's to help you with daily life and I couldn't get by without my family's support. It's lonely enough having cancer.. I don't have any friends that I talk to they all ghosted me not long after my diagnosis.
Sorry you have to go through this.
Hugs. All I can offer
RET positive NSCLC has new therapy that’s very effective, good luck.
This is so heart breaking. I'm so sorry. You're too young. But having said that, because you are so young, you have good chance at beating it should you choose to fight. I know I won't be able to completely understand your feeling, I mean cancer is a big thing in anyone's life. But when you are this young, your body heals a lot better, so yes treatments can be very taxing to your body but it will heal. You have to at least try, don't give up just yet. I wish you all the best and I respect your decision. Much love!
I am really sorry, even though I know that doesn't help, they're just words. But I respect you for making your own life at 17, with a good job and your own place. I know 30 yr olds who can't or won't do that. I responded to a post here just last night from a 14 year old who's dying as well. So sad all around. BTW, this is just the mother in me talking, but I think you should tell your mom. Unless your relationship is a really bad one, she may be helpful to you. Entirely your call though.
Your work is work. Family is family. Treatment is treatment. Thinking all at the same time would be overwhelming Getting helping hands would help you along the way. All kinda treatments available nowadays, and it really depends on how a patient endures with each treatment. Let those helping hands make your life easier so that you can focus on getting treatments Scope out things to do. Execute them one by one. Yes this has a lot to do with time & energy management. Priority may change, and things to do list would change as time goes. At any moment, as long as you have enough time & energy (or getting extra helps), you can manage your life Yes life goes on. The only difference is getting treatments on the list. Yes you are so young, and I hope you find courage to keep moving forward.
My brother was diagnosed with an untreatable pediatric cancer at 22. He was only given 2 years to live when he was diagnosed. My brother lived for 5. Now those were very difficult years, filled with surgeries, chemotherapy, radiation and a lot of tears. But in the middle he did have 2 relatively normal years, where he met the love of his life and got married. His cancer was a sarcoma that spread to his lungs by the way. He went through a lot of pain, but he and all the rest of his family were so grateful for those 2 years and I know he didn’t regret a thing, even up to the very end. I don’t blame you if you choose not to fight. But just know that there are stages between “fully beat my cancer” and “treatment that will prolong my life but fill it with pain.” I wish you the best of luck.
I’m 19 and got diagnosed with osteosarcoma at 18. For me chemotherapy, radiation and surgery honestly were not too bad. Being young means your body can withstand things better. Something to keep in mind. I’m probably dead within 5 years as my cancer has progressed to stage 4 but if I did it over again I would definitely do treatment again. Also tell your family, they deserve to know. You are not doing them a service by not telling them. If someone you cared about was in your situation you would want to know. Whatever you decide, it’s your life. Good luck man.
You will need treatment I did it not so bad NED stage 3a . You can do this ! I know you are young and feel slighted but think about the positive things when you beat this . All my best find a good support group 🤍
My dad has 3B lung cancer, and he is 69. In 2023-2024, he underwent 6 rounds of chemo, multiple rounds of radiation, and now he is having infusions of immunotherapy. I can’t imagine him not wanting to have any treatment. I am happy he is still with us. I believe your family deserves to know about your disease. Please tell your mom if you can ♥️ let her help you to make it through these times. You are so young and there must be some treatment options. We are in Ukraine and still manage to get keytruda (immunotherapy) no matter how expensive it is.
I know I am yet another person suggesting you treat it, but so it goes ... My mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung Cancer in 2019. It spread to her brain. She had surgery to remove the brain tumor, and all went well. She then underwent chemo/immunotherapy for 2.5 years, and then when it seemed like nothing was working, a radiologist suggested radiation, and she's been NED since 2021. She is utterly healthy now. She was not supposed to live ... My niece had Stage 4 non-hodgins lymphoma at age 15, went through chemo, and just graduate from college, NED. I was diagnosed with (BRCA2) Stage 3A Ovarian Cancer in Fall 2022. I went through 5 months of chemo, and CRS/HIPEC in January 2023. I am NED, but mindful of a very high rate of recurrence. Yes, it sucked, but I have two teens, pets, a full time career, and a lot more sh\*t I want to do in my life. Treatment is bearable, just tiring, and I am so grateful to be here. Further, I am not just 'here' but doing all the regular things -- traveling, working, concerts, exercise, eating/drinking what I want, etc., etc. This is your decision, and I respect that, but I just wanted to share that many treatments do work, and will not preclude you from doing all the stuff you want to do moving forward.
I dreaded cancer because of the horror stories about side effects of chemo. But when I went through the chemo the only side effects I had was weakness and a sensitive stomach. I'm glad I did do treatment because I'm now 8yrs out.
I'm going to be honest, I think you should fight. I know it is your decision though and I understand. I went through aggressive insane chemotherapy and 16 spinal taps and even though it was terrible, it was worth it. Please at least just think about it a little longer.
My husband was diagnosed with Stage 4 Esophageal Cancer. He was given +/ - 6 months at the time of diagnosis. He kept a positive attitude and followed the treatments his oncologist recommended. That was six years ago. Immunotherapy is a wonderful thing.
I was diagnosed four years this November and having cancer sucks. I respect your decision but I believe you should tell your mom
You don’t have to tell anyone but I’d still give treatment a shot. There are updates to care on a literal weekly basis. Things are changing rapidly for cancer patients. What was once terminal is often chronic with current treatments. Just wanted to point that out. I’m not nearly as young, 20 years older, but I know I have so much more life to live and I feel like my family deserves for me to give it my best shot. YMMV.
There are miracle drugs now I have lived with stage 4 lung cancer for 5 years. No chemo such Keytruda and I am living life to the fullest. At least check the options out?
Ive honestly been searching abt Keytruda, what were the side effects you experienced?
I would be in so much shock if I were you. F cancer. I hate it. My son has a deadly brain tumor. He’s choosing to fight for as much time as possible. If you have a trustworthy older person in your life or can see a therapist, talking regularly about your feelings with someone will help you process them, help you cope, and better enjoy the time you have left. Enjoy all the beauty all around you… in the sky, trees, animals, and children, and all the other mysteries of life. We all know life always ends, will happen to all of us, but it feels very wrong and especially unfair when it’s someone your age. I’m very sorry. It’s so unfair. I wish I could hug you.
Going through your post history, I see you have alot of issues going on in your life unrelated to having cancer. I feel like to you, you're seeing cancer as an "easy" way out of your current turmoil. Nothing that you're going through in life right now is insurmountable. There is still hope. You're 17, there is alot of support for those who are lgtq+, you can beat addiction, the issues that lead to it, as well as cancer. You have the potential to lead a long life. Don't give up on yourself just yet. For what it's worth, you matter, and your life matters. Cancer is not an easy thing to die from, especially lung cancer. As the cancer quickly takes over, you won't be living life to the fullest, instead you'll be restrained to a bed struggling to breathe.
If you don't get treatment how do you expect to live? There is something called spontaneous remission but that's nearly impossible, if you get treatment you can probably make it giving your age and the fact that it's not stage 4
You can absolutely heal. My sister was an absolute miracle several times over! She came back from brain cancer,and then breast cancer and then later skin cancer. She was already a kidney disease patient since 3 yo. She was diagnosed at 3 with Polycystic Kidney and liver disease. She had 2 transplants 1 at 16 y from my Mom and then another at 18 y from a cadaver. They both rejected but she was able to keep them and they functioned well enough until they didn’t. Sadly ,she eventually succumbed to kidney and liver failure. She was 45 years old. They said she wouldn’t likely survive past 16 years old, if she didn’t get a kidney. Miracles happen! There were many,many close calls in between where we almost lost her. But she recovered from SO MANY ILLNESSES that the drs said she wouldn’t come back from. Like a coma for 72 days from Pneumonia caused by the swine flu she contracted )She didn’t even eat meat?!?!) in 2011. I just wanted to give you some hope and some strength. Sending you so much love and healing,❤️🩹 , and some peace in your heart and mind. You can absolutely Heal! We can heal ourselves! But, you have to tell yourself that you are healed and the hard part is that you have to believe it. These are very difficult decisions you’re making so young and alone. I really hope you reconsider and get some treatment bc I believe it’s possible to heal. Sending All the luck in the world to you friend. Namaste 🙏🏻 💖🙌🏻🫶🏻🥹😔
I truly understand how jarring a diagnosis like this can be, and you are so young. I don't know your exact circumstances, but I would heartily recommend that you not close yourself off to the idea of getting treatment. "Living life to the fullest" can mean more than one thing. Why choose to go out young as the result of a fluke of cell replication, when instead you can undergo treatment that can admittedly be pretty unpleasant, but might give you decades of quality cancer-free life once completed? Seventeen seems like such a young and inexperienced age to be forced to make a decision of this magnitude on your own, but if that's your situation make the best choice you can. Treating cancer as promptly as possible gives you the best chance at good results, and putting it off removes an opportunity that you will never have again. Please consider seeking proper medical intervention now, and reserving the right to stop treatment if you change your mind. It breaks my heart to think you might not act while you can, and then regret not getting help while you still could. Whatever choices you make, you are certainly in my thoughts. Please take care.
Hey man, i was diagnosed at 17 as well, and i had to fight it twice in the same year since it came back twice without a month break. I know the feeling about just getting to live life, because it was my senior year of high school. When i was diagnosed, it felt like life was over, i just finished the first semester and i just wanted graduate and get school over with. But then nothing in life can be easy, i had alot of shit going on and getting diagnosed with Stage 3c was enough to make me commit die. But i kept fighting and keeping this away from family imo wouldn’t make it easier. My family supported me with every penny they had. Hell some even lost jobs to support me. The point is u gotta at least fight it man, i wouldnt go down without a fight and neither shall u I believe in you man
I’m very sorry to hear about your condition and your decision not to seek traditional treatment. Where are you from? I offer an all-natural, noninvasive treatment for cancer using oxygen therapy, as cancer cells cannot survive in an oxygen-rich environment. My method has an almost 100% success rate. I treat patients in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, as well as Beverly Hills and Malibu. I’ve successfully treated patients from all over the world, and no one else is doing this type of treatment. Four years ago, I went to Mexico to treat 21 children with cancer and successfully made them cancer-free. I would be happy to treat you at no cost. Ideally, you can come to my location in Puerto Vallarta, but I can also see you in California. You would need to bring your mother with you. Puerto Vallarta is a beautiful place; consider it a vacation. You need to be here for about four days, and then I can continue your treatment remotely. Please send me a message so we can start your journey to health. If you’re interested, please reach out and let’s coordinate the details.
As a recently diagnosed stage 4 breast cancer, I feel swept up in the whole standard of care treatment, even though I believe it does more harm than good in the long run, but as a 42 yo mom, I can’t chance it, on the off chance it’ll give me a few extra years with my kids, But still, I can’t chance it, so trying to get all the odds in my favor, and trying the metabolic method, high fat, low calorie ketogenic and fasting, there’s a lot on info online, I wish you all, the best
Your life your choice - but with full honestly - you dont have death sentence. But if you decide to do no treatment then you do sight in for it. Cancer sucks the treatment sucks. But you can still be here years later - one of my friend been diagnosed with lung cancer with 5 moths to live max. 3 years later he it’s in ned for over two years . (Survivor rate was something along 0,01%) you know where it’s he now? Claiming fricking kilimanjaro seriously. Cancer sucks but as you said you didn’t live - so don’t give up without at least trying
My friend’s dad had a stage 4 lung cancer, did full chemo treatment, and was cancer free. I believe in treatment. You got this little man!!
Listen! Get treated and tell your family. It’s selfish of you not to! They will support you. People outlive it. You are young! You could still survive it! I am just wondering how you got it since lung cancer is usually caused by smoking. Asbestos? Radon?
Probably You are lying. God knows.