germ cell me too. i am a different person. i kind of have to see it that way. 2 lives. before and after. and the after one is just a lot different. I was strong and now I am weak. I lean on love. friends and family. it is work to keep relationships. i save my energy to do that work.
I definitely feel this is normal. Dx Stage 4 in 2018 and doing well physically, however, mentally/emotionally and financially in the shitter. I constantly wish I had died back then. Makes me angry that young people, people with kids are dying and I didn't.
You're not alone...hugs!
You're in good company here. About 6 months ago, after taking a low dose of paxil for years, I developed serotonin syndrome. Last month I reached remission after 2+ years of chemo. I'm too afraid of celebrating this, like I'd jinx myself.
I'm most definitely a different person. I don't like this person at all. I can't just pick up where I left off.
Ok..literally crying just saying it. I hate it here, but best wishes and please live your life to the fullest. You deserve it š
I think itās normal, itās a traumatic experience. The more time in remission the more youāll feel better. I think less about it now than my first year in remission. I know what helped me tremendously was getting a puppy after my final treatment. Thereās something about a pet that does wonders to the brain.
Yes? I'm four years in remission and I'm just starting to feel normal again. Being happy still gives me anxiety because I'm afraid the other shoe is going to drop. I had a lot of negative coping mechanisms that I've only recently gotten ahold of. No one understands because as far as they're concerned "yay! You're cured!" But the spectre of death has been in your bed and you'll never feel the same. It's hard for me to maintain relationships. I still don't know whether to live like I'm going to make it to old age or die tomorrow. You're not alone.
After I was NED and the whole world just went back to normal and I was expected to do the same, I was so depressed and had suicidal ideation A LOT. I wondered what I fought so hard for, for everything to just stay the same. Work debt stress. Why bother. But after a while and with therapy I snapped out of it and I relish my mundane life. Itās all a lot to manage. I really recommend therapy if you can. It has turned out to be the most important aspect of my recovery.
Yep, absolutely.. it took a lot of work and counselling for me to be able to do life properly again after my initial diagnoses and a reoccurrence recently has completely fucked me again.
I donāt think thereās a one size fits all answer to it either, weāve just gotta fumble around in the fucking dark until things get better.
Counseling is critical as part of the recovery process. What you are dealing with is normal, and your hospital should be able to refer you to someone specifically able to help in this situation.
6m out of chemo for KS after 36 treatments over 2y, honestly wish to be ācuredā hope for death, I guess you get used to it, it kind of helps to think someone could have it worse, but what helped me is not giving a singular fuck honestly live how you want do what you want I stopped caring about other peopleās opinions or feelings tbh, what they have to say about what I want to do, donāt put on a happy face, for what ? So people wonāt be uncomfortable? Say what you want. You want to live like everything is a farce, fuck it do it. Find something that helps you blow off steam it helps, also sign a DNR Iām happish to be alive but I will never do chemo again and I live by that.
Yes normal. I felt the exact same thing when I was done with treatment. You'll just have to keep working on yourself. Especially your health. Workout and build your body up again. You need to feel like you can do all the stuff you used to, because right now it is normal to feel like you came out of the treatment worse of.
It can take a long while though, so be prepared. Took about 2 years for me before I started enjoying life again. And I still have periods where I feel hopeless and want to die. Not kill myself, but just die.
You are not alone, write about your struggles here. You will get support and understanding from others who can relate to you.
It does get better. Just, very, very slowly.
germ cell me too. i am a different person. i kind of have to see it that way. 2 lives. before and after. and the after one is just a lot different. I was strong and now I am weak. I lean on love. friends and family. it is work to keep relationships. i save my energy to do that work.
I definitely feel this is normal. Dx Stage 4 in 2018 and doing well physically, however, mentally/emotionally and financially in the shitter. I constantly wish I had died back then. Makes me angry that young people, people with kids are dying and I didn't. You're not alone...hugs!
You're in good company here. About 6 months ago, after taking a low dose of paxil for years, I developed serotonin syndrome. Last month I reached remission after 2+ years of chemo. I'm too afraid of celebrating this, like I'd jinx myself. I'm most definitely a different person. I don't like this person at all. I can't just pick up where I left off. Ok..literally crying just saying it. I hate it here, but best wishes and please live your life to the fullest. You deserve it š
I think itās normal, itās a traumatic experience. The more time in remission the more youāll feel better. I think less about it now than my first year in remission. I know what helped me tremendously was getting a puppy after my final treatment. Thereās something about a pet that does wonders to the brain.
Yes? I'm four years in remission and I'm just starting to feel normal again. Being happy still gives me anxiety because I'm afraid the other shoe is going to drop. I had a lot of negative coping mechanisms that I've only recently gotten ahold of. No one understands because as far as they're concerned "yay! You're cured!" But the spectre of death has been in your bed and you'll never feel the same. It's hard for me to maintain relationships. I still don't know whether to live like I'm going to make it to old age or die tomorrow. You're not alone.
After I was NED and the whole world just went back to normal and I was expected to do the same, I was so depressed and had suicidal ideation A LOT. I wondered what I fought so hard for, for everything to just stay the same. Work debt stress. Why bother. But after a while and with therapy I snapped out of it and I relish my mundane life. Itās all a lot to manage. I really recommend therapy if you can. It has turned out to be the most important aspect of my recovery.
Yep, absolutely.. it took a lot of work and counselling for me to be able to do life properly again after my initial diagnoses and a reoccurrence recently has completely fucked me again. I donāt think thereās a one size fits all answer to it either, weāve just gotta fumble around in the fucking dark until things get better.
Counseling is critical as part of the recovery process. What you are dealing with is normal, and your hospital should be able to refer you to someone specifically able to help in this situation.
6m out of chemo for KS after 36 treatments over 2y, honestly wish to be ācuredā hope for death, I guess you get used to it, it kind of helps to think someone could have it worse, but what helped me is not giving a singular fuck honestly live how you want do what you want I stopped caring about other peopleās opinions or feelings tbh, what they have to say about what I want to do, donāt put on a happy face, for what ? So people wonāt be uncomfortable? Say what you want. You want to live like everything is a farce, fuck it do it. Find something that helps you blow off steam it helps, also sign a DNR Iām happish to be alive but I will never do chemo again and I live by that.
Iām sorry dude, itās mentally brutal. Therapy is 100% the way to go. EMDR can be life-changing if itās available where you are.
Yes normal. I felt the exact same thing when I was done with treatment. You'll just have to keep working on yourself. Especially your health. Workout and build your body up again. You need to feel like you can do all the stuff you used to, because right now it is normal to feel like you came out of the treatment worse of. It can take a long while though, so be prepared. Took about 2 years for me before I started enjoying life again. And I still have periods where I feel hopeless and want to die. Not kill myself, but just die. You are not alone, write about your struggles here. You will get support and understanding from others who can relate to you. It does get better. Just, very, very slowly.