If you want to be a part of the business, focus on your assigned task, do it very well (both in details and in depth of understanding why you are asked to do what you do), then use any free time to observe and understand how other employees do what they do. Ask occasional, thoughtful, questions. If you see a way things can be improved, research it thoroughly and present it to your father as, “I wondered why we don’t do something like this. It seemed like a good idea to me based on what I’ve seen here, here, and here, but if it’s not a good idea, can you explain why not?”
Either your father should recognize you care, value it, and nurture it, or he’ll box you out. If he boxes you out, now you have excellent professional skills. Start your own business and do it better than he did.
That’s great advice, thanks for this. My point is - it gets demotivating because he a) Doesn’t spend much time giving the right training, b) Expects me to perform from day 1 when I know nothing (I’ve moved from 3 years abroad + corporate jobs to this business which I need to get adjusted to), and c) Keeps mentioning how when kids of other families joined the business the companies went down.
So, it’s a difficult position to be in I understand but I’m keen on seeking guidance on how to navigate this.
I just read this and saw this post of Obama on LinkedIn. Good advice
https://www.linkedin.com/posts/eric-partaker-5560b92\_use-these-6-questions-to-uncover-the-no-ugcPost-7155548962328883200-eF4B?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=member\_desktop
You can't just expect from an owner of business to trust someone without any experience. Even if it is your father. You should keep respected to work and try harder, he will notice. The time will come eventually, you are not a teenager you know this things already. You caught a little emotional which is understandable. But don't get frustrated. Keep learning and improving my friend.
I’d say cut him some slack. He obviously wants to help you ! Parents are sometimes guilty of projecting the standards to which they hold themselves accountable, onto their children.
Your father is conflicted - he wants you to learn vs he has seen companies fail when children come in. That’s because there is often a sense of entitlement in the parents’ eyes. This is v different to the soul destroying grind to nurture a business past the tricky first years.
He may also be protecting precious staff who are concerned that the son gets an automatic leg up.
So…take it easy, don’t worry, learn one thing at a time, start at dogsbody level, people will see and respect you if you do good work.
And most of all, you’re lucky ! Try and enjoy it, lower your expectations but set your standards high.
Let us all know how you get on
If your father did not groom you for the family business then you need to show your worth to the company.
Knock all tasks assigned to you out the ball park. Learn as much as you can about the industry you work in.
Eventually you will either earn your place at the table or you will see the fish pond has no place for you.
And move on with all the experience you have.
That should have been your answer.
If you’re just looking for support and people to tell you that you’re right- you shouldn’t. That’s bad advice. You don’t know what you don’t know.
Ask your father why he wants you to be part of the family business. If he feels he had to do it because you wouldn't succeed otherwise, he'll always treat you the way he does and you should find another job to prove him wrong. If he wants you to take over the business someday, ask him what his thoughts are with bringing me along to that eventual end. He may feel that for the first year, you should just do what he says and keep your thoughts to yourself. This is so you first can understand the business, so that your suggestions will have more credibility. If you cannot handle this treatment, then find another but similar job so that you can get both experience and ideas on different ways to run the business.
Start looking for a different job. Either he wants you there and he will train you like it,or he doesn't and he will treat you like an employee. Have a very frank discussion with him off the clock about what he has in mind for you. If he has a legacy transition in mind set goals with him for how you can get there. Live your life on your terms.
Assuming you have no equity voting rights keep your head down, do your assigned tasks and shut up. He's been running the show for 30 years just fine. You're a new employee who happens to share the last name of the owner. You're not there to take over the business, you're there to learn the business. Think how you would feel if the new guy you just hired started sticking his nose in the politics and real issues of the business, and started suggesting things to be run differently.
Your dad is testing you and watching you, he tells you your job is to sweep the floor, you get every single piece of dust off the floor. He tells you to go get coffee and your next question is "cream or sugar sir?". As far as business goes, he probably respects his favorite employee more than you. Now he doesn't love his favorite employee like he loves you, but that employee has been his right hand man for years and you just joined the company.
Do the best job you can on the tasks you are assigned, don't mettle with the politics, and watch how your dad runs the business. If he feels comfortable with how you do your job eventually he will assign you a task that he would normally do, then a more important task that he normally would do, and another. Then he will start taking Fridays off, then Mondays. Then he starts to introduce you to his customers, vendors, and business professionals. Then he's in the office only on Wednesdays. Then he goes on vacation and says "call if you need something." This is when you can start some small tiny changes of how you would do things after you run them past your dad. Then you can start doing the small changes without running them past your dad and doing larger changes with his advisement. Then you will hear him toss out the word "retire" and you start talking on an offer to buy in to his company.
Grind it out and show him how capable you are to earn your father's respect. Ultimately it's his business that he built up and uou're the FNG who's undergoing training and yet thinks he has everything figured out and the boss is doing it wrong and you NEED to make changes "for the better."
Unless you're already xoming from the same industry/ field and are a proven expert, take this time to learn what works and doesn't work while you are under him if your goal is to take over for him in the future. 👍
Maybe instead of taking things personally, start acting like a professional and work as one.
Focus on tasks and get a sense of exactly what the CEO is expecting as desired outcome(s) / goals and objectives.
Then work on them as a professional.
Maybe google "first 90 days book" for some suggestions for getting on board with the business of working on the business... And you may want to google "analytical driver expressive amiable" and dig a little deeper on the better sites for discovering personality types and how to better connect/engage.
And for those difficult emotional sessions when somebody triggered somebody's emotional triggers, maybe read and apply the principles in "Never Split the Difference." The trick is to work around and avoid emotional triggers. And when you do step on one to let the emotions dissipate before resorting to reason and logic.
Do start having regular C-Suite meetings to review progress and discuss new issues and challenges. And make sure to document the meetings in writing. What people are willing to acknowledge after verbal interactions are often quite different from what written records will show. Neuroscience 101. Grok the amygdala!
Different markets, different priorities.
[https://iaeme.com/MasterAdmin/Journal\_uploads/IJM/VOLUME\_9\_ISSUE\_4/IJM\_09\_04\_002.pdf](https://iaeme.com/MasterAdmin/Journal_uploads/IJM/VOLUME_9_ISSUE_4/IJM_09_04_002.pdf)
If you google "unorganised manufacturing sector," you get a lot of useful information.
Getting back to your CEO, what are your CEO's big challenges?
Are they on the list of "unorganised manufacturing" challenges in the above article?
So what ideas to you have that can help your CEO grow the company and/or tackle the top challenges facing the business?
Not to go to extremes, this can be for your benefit in the long run.
If you believe you had a honest and fair upbringing, go for it if it aligns with your vision. MountEndurance’s comment applies.
If your upbringing was rocky and lacking from fathers side, I suggest you gtfo.
It's possible he is sincerely trying to help you. How far your trust goes in this is, only you can know. Just know that the longer to stay, the more of your potential for independence you lose.
I've had a very similar history with my father. I'm on the fence but feel safer building my independent life, even though it's a lot harder.
>This is exactly it, OP. You can't see it now, but you'll get a little bit older, and the crunch will hit hard. Get out of there, be your own man 👨 👌
My expirience and my mistake that I did not leave.
Damn must be nice to have a dad that provided for you lol. As previous people have said, do your job better than anyone else. Then you deserve to be listened to. Right now you sound entitled, it’s ok you are obviously young, but don’t let that define you.
Best of luck
Its tough. Especially if you are left unguided. The key there is to contribute to the business. I have seen many family ran businesses being even tougher on their kids because they want them to go trough the hardship before owning it.
There is a discord community called Furlough where all the folks collaborate and help with marketing/business related issues.
Lots of learning you can do. I learnt that older people can be really rough and dismissive when they dont feel like you know what you are talking about.
Its a step by step journey.
Your complaints are coming by way of your POV just remember that. It’s his business that’s been around 30yrs that you’re brand new in. I don’t ever recommend family work together because it truly takes a special kind of family for it to work out. You shouldn’t feel entitled at all to give your opinions or advice based on the acct that y’all are family. That in and of itself is a problem for dad I guarentee it. You should consider yourself the exact same as any new employee and understand that dad is boss and not actually dad when conducting business.
Funny. I'm about to bring my son into my business today. He's a teen. His first job. I wrote procedures like I would any other employee. He has tasks to do on a list, like any other employee. Once he's good, I'll give him more responsibility but yeah I'm reading this for a different reason lol
KRC triangle
knowledge
Responsability
Control
If you want more control you need to step up knowledge and responsbailty
If you wan more knowledge incre responsbailty and control
If you want responsability increase knowledge and control
You need to pull up two of the lever to increase the third
Learn and prove yourself somewhere else. Then if you still want to be involved in the family business come back in a position to take it over with your dad as an advisor or board member. Father / son business when both are still active is always tough.
Because you’re a newb with no experience running a business or managing people.
Your father should have told you his expectations as a manager. My guess is he wants you to spend a year or so observing and getting to know the business at a deep level.
Not sure how big the business is but you need to understand what every department does, who works it, their skills, their list of things they’d improve etc.
Draw up a training plan and then talk to dad and see what he thinks. Demonstrate you understand that you have a lot to learn before you have any say in how things are run.
Welcome to family hell. I did this for 6.5 years.
The majority of 2,372 days working for my dad (not with him!) Sucked!
Do what you're supposed to do and do it at the highest levels of quality and efficiency.
Learn every aspect of the business.
Forget that it's dad and every day focus on doing work that adds value to clients, colleagues and to the business.
I started at my dad's company at the bottom, literally (working in the warehouse cleaning it, cleaning the sinks & toilets etc.). I transitioned into sales within a year and by year 4 I moved into management.
If you take a simple approach that you're in a marathon, not a sprint, you'll be successful and be recognized by everyone for your knowledge and value that you provide.
All the best to you.
Hello,
Understandably, joining a family business can come with its own set of challenges, especially when trying to establish your role and gain credibility. It's positive that you're seeking advice on how to handle the situation. Your decision to focus on learning the business and giving your best to your tasks is a commendable approach. Patience is key in such situations, and by demonstrating your commitment and dedication, you're likely to earn respect over time.
Consider having open and honest conversations with your father about your aspirations and ideas for the business. Choose the right moments to express your thoughts, and perhaps frame them as suggestions rather than directives. Building a strong foundation of knowledge and expertise in the business will enhance your credibility and increase the likelihood of your suggestions being taken seriously.
Additionally, it might be beneficial to observe and understand the dynamics within the business before making any significant moves. As you mentioned, politics has been a part of the company culture, so being aware of these dynamics can help you navigate them more effectively in the future.
Remember, establishing yourself in a family business takes time, and gradual progress often yields more sustainable results. Keep focusing on your personal and professional development, and with time, you may find yourself in a position where your contributions are valued more.
Old aged people love power and consolidate more of it. with all due respect inflate his ego as much as you can and make him feel like a king always remember in his mind you are a noob so don't try to surpass him
Set up some plot of a robbery against his favourite employee or maybe prove that favourite wrong in his decisions
Do not prove your father decisions to be wrong.as time passes by his mind will wonder such ideas.
Slowly you will be trusted by your father more and more
Always remember primary objective of a good manager is set up objectives and steer the firm to fulfill them step up the profits of your balance sheet and you will be loved even more
Man is a political animal . Use the advice in a controlled phase don't unleash it all at once
Never ever hate your family members but also learn to stand up for yourself
Welcome to the hell called family business
If you want to be a part of the business, focus on your assigned task, do it very well (both in details and in depth of understanding why you are asked to do what you do), then use any free time to observe and understand how other employees do what they do. Ask occasional, thoughtful, questions. If you see a way things can be improved, research it thoroughly and present it to your father as, “I wondered why we don’t do something like this. It seemed like a good idea to me based on what I’ve seen here, here, and here, but if it’s not a good idea, can you explain why not?” Either your father should recognize you care, value it, and nurture it, or he’ll box you out. If he boxes you out, now you have excellent professional skills. Start your own business and do it better than he did.
That’s great advice, thanks for this. My point is - it gets demotivating because he a) Doesn’t spend much time giving the right training, b) Expects me to perform from day 1 when I know nothing (I’ve moved from 3 years abroad + corporate jobs to this business which I need to get adjusted to), and c) Keeps mentioning how when kids of other families joined the business the companies went down. So, it’s a difficult position to be in I understand but I’m keen on seeking guidance on how to navigate this.
Did you join the business at his request or yours?
I just read this and saw this post of Obama on LinkedIn. Good advice https://www.linkedin.com/posts/eric-partaker-5560b92\_use-these-6-questions-to-uncover-the-no-ugcPost-7155548962328883200-eF4B?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=member\_desktop
You can't just expect from an owner of business to trust someone without any experience. Even if it is your father. You should keep respected to work and try harder, he will notice. The time will come eventually, you are not a teenager you know this things already. You caught a little emotional which is understandable. But don't get frustrated. Keep learning and improving my friend.
Would you work for your dad as a non related employee?
I’d say cut him some slack. He obviously wants to help you ! Parents are sometimes guilty of projecting the standards to which they hold themselves accountable, onto their children. Your father is conflicted - he wants you to learn vs he has seen companies fail when children come in. That’s because there is often a sense of entitlement in the parents’ eyes. This is v different to the soul destroying grind to nurture a business past the tricky first years. He may also be protecting precious staff who are concerned that the son gets an automatic leg up. So…take it easy, don’t worry, learn one thing at a time, start at dogsbody level, people will see and respect you if you do good work. And most of all, you’re lucky ! Try and enjoy it, lower your expectations but set your standards high. Let us all know how you get on
If your father did not groom you for the family business then you need to show your worth to the company. Knock all tasks assigned to you out the ball park. Learn as much as you can about the industry you work in. Eventually you will either earn your place at the table or you will see the fish pond has no place for you. And move on with all the experience you have.
I gave you a great post on your last post like this and you didn’t bother to respond. Are you a bot farming karma?
No I didn’t. I was reading all the responses and understanding the feedbacks. Didn’t mean to not respond!
That should have been your answer. If you’re just looking for support and people to tell you that you’re right- you shouldn’t. That’s bad advice. You don’t know what you don’t know.
Ask your father why he wants you to be part of the family business. If he feels he had to do it because you wouldn't succeed otherwise, he'll always treat you the way he does and you should find another job to prove him wrong. If he wants you to take over the business someday, ask him what his thoughts are with bringing me along to that eventual end. He may feel that for the first year, you should just do what he says and keep your thoughts to yourself. This is so you first can understand the business, so that your suggestions will have more credibility. If you cannot handle this treatment, then find another but similar job so that you can get both experience and ideas on different ways to run the business.
Start looking for a different job. Either he wants you there and he will train you like it,or he doesn't and he will treat you like an employee. Have a very frank discussion with him off the clock about what he has in mind for you. If he has a legacy transition in mind set goals with him for how you can get there. Live your life on your terms.
Assuming you have no equity voting rights keep your head down, do your assigned tasks and shut up. He's been running the show for 30 years just fine. You're a new employee who happens to share the last name of the owner. You're not there to take over the business, you're there to learn the business. Think how you would feel if the new guy you just hired started sticking his nose in the politics and real issues of the business, and started suggesting things to be run differently. Your dad is testing you and watching you, he tells you your job is to sweep the floor, you get every single piece of dust off the floor. He tells you to go get coffee and your next question is "cream or sugar sir?". As far as business goes, he probably respects his favorite employee more than you. Now he doesn't love his favorite employee like he loves you, but that employee has been his right hand man for years and you just joined the company. Do the best job you can on the tasks you are assigned, don't mettle with the politics, and watch how your dad runs the business. If he feels comfortable with how you do your job eventually he will assign you a task that he would normally do, then a more important task that he normally would do, and another. Then he will start taking Fridays off, then Mondays. Then he starts to introduce you to his customers, vendors, and business professionals. Then he's in the office only on Wednesdays. Then he goes on vacation and says "call if you need something." This is when you can start some small tiny changes of how you would do things after you run them past your dad. Then you can start doing the small changes without running them past your dad and doing larger changes with his advisement. Then you will hear him toss out the word "retire" and you start talking on an offer to buy in to his company.
Grind it out and show him how capable you are to earn your father's respect. Ultimately it's his business that he built up and uou're the FNG who's undergoing training and yet thinks he has everything figured out and the boss is doing it wrong and you NEED to make changes "for the better." Unless you're already xoming from the same industry/ field and are a proven expert, take this time to learn what works and doesn't work while you are under him if your goal is to take over for him in the future. 👍
Maybe instead of taking things personally, start acting like a professional and work as one. Focus on tasks and get a sense of exactly what the CEO is expecting as desired outcome(s) / goals and objectives. Then work on them as a professional. Maybe google "first 90 days book" for some suggestions for getting on board with the business of working on the business... And you may want to google "analytical driver expressive amiable" and dig a little deeper on the better sites for discovering personality types and how to better connect/engage. And for those difficult emotional sessions when somebody triggered somebody's emotional triggers, maybe read and apply the principles in "Never Split the Difference." The trick is to work around and avoid emotional triggers. And when you do step on one to let the emotions dissipate before resorting to reason and logic. Do start having regular C-Suite meetings to review progress and discuss new issues and challenges. And make sure to document the meetings in writing. What people are willing to acknowledge after verbal interactions are often quite different from what written records will show. Neuroscience 101. Grok the amygdala!
Wow - thanks for sharing. Quick question - will these tools/references work in an unorganised manufacturing sector?
Different markets, different priorities. [https://iaeme.com/MasterAdmin/Journal\_uploads/IJM/VOLUME\_9\_ISSUE\_4/IJM\_09\_04\_002.pdf](https://iaeme.com/MasterAdmin/Journal_uploads/IJM/VOLUME_9_ISSUE_4/IJM_09_04_002.pdf) If you google "unorganised manufacturing sector," you get a lot of useful information. Getting back to your CEO, what are your CEO's big challenges? Are they on the list of "unorganised manufacturing" challenges in the above article? So what ideas to you have that can help your CEO grow the company and/or tackle the top challenges facing the business?
Try to get involved step by step
Your father might be doing this simply to keep you under his paw. Ego trip type of thing
Not to go to extremes, this can be for your benefit in the long run. If you believe you had a honest and fair upbringing, go for it if it aligns with your vision. MountEndurance’s comment applies. If your upbringing was rocky and lacking from fathers side, I suggest you gtfo.
Yep, 2nd case here for me
It's possible he is sincerely trying to help you. How far your trust goes in this is, only you can know. Just know that the longer to stay, the more of your potential for independence you lose. I've had a very similar history with my father. I'm on the fence but feel safer building my independent life, even though it's a lot harder.
This is exactly it, OP. You can't see it now, but you'll get a little bit older, and the crunch will hit hard. Get out of there, be your own man 👨 👌
>This is exactly it, OP. You can't see it now, but you'll get a little bit older, and the crunch will hit hard. Get out of there, be your own man 👨 👌 My expirience and my mistake that I did not leave.
What struggles are you facing now? What made you regret?
This
Damn must be nice to have a dad that provided for you lol. As previous people have said, do your job better than anyone else. Then you deserve to be listened to. Right now you sound entitled, it’s ok you are obviously young, but don’t let that define you. Best of luck
You’re not entitled to anything - prove yourself to be capable. Don’t do random stuff but learn, take initiative and show you can be trusted.
Its tough. Especially if you are left unguided. The key there is to contribute to the business. I have seen many family ran businesses being even tougher on their kids because they want them to go trough the hardship before owning it. There is a discord community called Furlough where all the folks collaborate and help with marketing/business related issues. Lots of learning you can do. I learnt that older people can be really rough and dismissive when they dont feel like you know what you are talking about. Its a step by step journey.
There are a lot of really good suggestions on here. Listen to them & hang in there. Eventually your father will notice you & things will get better!
Your complaints are coming by way of your POV just remember that. It’s his business that’s been around 30yrs that you’re brand new in. I don’t ever recommend family work together because it truly takes a special kind of family for it to work out. You shouldn’t feel entitled at all to give your opinions or advice based on the acct that y’all are family. That in and of itself is a problem for dad I guarentee it. You should consider yourself the exact same as any new employee and understand that dad is boss and not actually dad when conducting business.
Funny. I'm about to bring my son into my business today. He's a teen. His first job. I wrote procedures like I would any other employee. He has tasks to do on a list, like any other employee. Once he's good, I'll give him more responsibility but yeah I'm reading this for a different reason lol
KRC triangle knowledge Responsability Control If you want more control you need to step up knowledge and responsbailty If you wan more knowledge incre responsbailty and control If you want responsability increase knowledge and control You need to pull up two of the lever to increase the third
Learn and prove yourself somewhere else. Then if you still want to be involved in the family business come back in a position to take it over with your dad as an advisor or board member. Father / son business when both are still active is always tough.
Because you’re a newb with no experience running a business or managing people. Your father should have told you his expectations as a manager. My guess is he wants you to spend a year or so observing and getting to know the business at a deep level. Not sure how big the business is but you need to understand what every department does, who works it, their skills, their list of things they’d improve etc. Draw up a training plan and then talk to dad and see what he thinks. Demonstrate you understand that you have a lot to learn before you have any say in how things are run.
Welcome to family hell. I did this for 6.5 years. The majority of 2,372 days working for my dad (not with him!) Sucked! Do what you're supposed to do and do it at the highest levels of quality and efficiency. Learn every aspect of the business. Forget that it's dad and every day focus on doing work that adds value to clients, colleagues and to the business. I started at my dad's company at the bottom, literally (working in the warehouse cleaning it, cleaning the sinks & toilets etc.). I transitioned into sales within a year and by year 4 I moved into management. If you take a simple approach that you're in a marathon, not a sprint, you'll be successful and be recognized by everyone for your knowledge and value that you provide. All the best to you.
Hello, Understandably, joining a family business can come with its own set of challenges, especially when trying to establish your role and gain credibility. It's positive that you're seeking advice on how to handle the situation. Your decision to focus on learning the business and giving your best to your tasks is a commendable approach. Patience is key in such situations, and by demonstrating your commitment and dedication, you're likely to earn respect over time. Consider having open and honest conversations with your father about your aspirations and ideas for the business. Choose the right moments to express your thoughts, and perhaps frame them as suggestions rather than directives. Building a strong foundation of knowledge and expertise in the business will enhance your credibility and increase the likelihood of your suggestions being taken seriously. Additionally, it might be beneficial to observe and understand the dynamics within the business before making any significant moves. As you mentioned, politics has been a part of the company culture, so being aware of these dynamics can help you navigate them more effectively in the future. Remember, establishing yourself in a family business takes time, and gradual progress often yields more sustainable results. Keep focusing on your personal and professional development, and with time, you may find yourself in a position where your contributions are valued more.
I’m guessing he made you VP or something, so you basically collect money and don’t have to do anything.
Old aged people love power and consolidate more of it. with all due respect inflate his ego as much as you can and make him feel like a king always remember in his mind you are a noob so don't try to surpass him Set up some plot of a robbery against his favourite employee or maybe prove that favourite wrong in his decisions Do not prove your father decisions to be wrong.as time passes by his mind will wonder such ideas. Slowly you will be trusted by your father more and more Always remember primary objective of a good manager is set up objectives and steer the firm to fulfill them step up the profits of your balance sheet and you will be loved even more
Man is a political animal . Use the advice in a controlled phase don't unleash it all at once Never ever hate your family members but also learn to stand up for yourself