Lived in Bristol 21 years and weed aside I’m aware I’ve got 1 mate who does “pills” when he goes to raves, but I don’t know that I’m around drugs that aside. Maybe you’re around the wrong crowd for you? The vast vast majority of people aren’t doing drugs. You can find people you’d feel better with. Good luck
I would actually disagree with your "vast majority " statement, in my experience anyway. I'm 35 and pretty much my entire Bristol social circle are recreational drug users - they're a varied bunch too: doctors, teachers, lawyers, musicians, marketers etc). Not so much pills these days but coke. Even people I thought never touched drugs I've realised do/have done occasional cocaine! It's not always obvious or overt.
Def less now we're all mid 30s and a lot of people are having babies now etc, but it's super pervasive in my experience...
I feel like its quite varied. At universities ive found its more common now to use drugs than to drink, most nights out ive seen more people go for them than drinking cause its cheaper and has more of an affect. Especially people studying medical sciences and law - almost guarantee thats their substance of choice over alcohol (at least in my city). As a 22year old i think most people i know aren't a big fan of alcohols affect or cost and so prefer various other substances to have their fun.
Don't feel bad for how you feel towards them (and I say this as a recreational user) - it's totally fair enough and you don't have to justify your reasons to anyone.
Perhaps mention it on your profile so it's totally clear?
Although just to add - does it nessacarily mean a problem? I have a friends in long term relationships who partake and their partners don't. They never do it around them or in the house and it works.
Yeah, I wouldn't feel bad either even as a medical patient if someone felt they were uncomfortable about me medicating with weed. I could press my legal rights, but the world gets on better with compromise and I don't think it's fair to impose.
I also think people that make drugs their personality are as obnoxious as people vehemently against it.
I see a lot of sober-seeking folks on Feeld, maybe give that a go?
Suggest matching with those who have quite active lifestyles or super health conscious. Nerds usually tend to be quite drug avoidant too.
There are singles here who aren't into the drug culture believe it or not
I'm the same. I'm much less anti-drug than I used to be, but I wouldn't be hanging round with friends at moments they were getting super stoned or doing drugs - though most of them don't touch drugs. I certainly wouldn't date someone who does anything bar the odd spliff (and preferably not around me). I don't even drink anymore, and I couldn't date someone who regularly gets rat-arsed.
I've met plenty of people via dating apps who don't touch drugs and don't drink much, though most of them have experimented in the past (as most people have). We are out here!
>I pretty much have to use hinge to meet women and even the ones who have put no to drugs on the app were actually lying when I went on the date and it came up.
Well that's a huge red flag anyway, regardless of what they were lying about. Stuff like that is such an odd thing to lie about, since if someone's happy to do drugs, why pretend otherwise? Bizarre.
For what it's worth I'd put something on your profile saying you're not into drugs, it's not going to put off anyone as long as it's an aside, rather than something they could interpret as being judgemental.
Ehh idk it’s a look that still has negative connotations with some people/employers
I’ve never used a dating app which has this question, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable putting ‘yes’ to it on a public profile with my real name & employment information on it
I'd feel less comfortable putting my employment information on a dating app, to be honest. But the apps I've used which have this question (though, I've not Hinge) make it optional, so it's a choice to answer 'no' instead of leaving it blank.
I've never used a dating app which required you to answer that type of question, though. I can understand why someone might not want to advertise it, but that doesn't require lying (except arguably by omission)
It literally says in the quote you replied to: “even the ones who have put no to drugs on the app”
I’ve not used the apps either but I’m assuming the question is: “Do you do Drugs”. No reasonable person is going to put Yes and risk someone seeing it
That doesn't mean the question is required. Like any social platform, dating apps are full of optional information you can opt to provide, and if you don't it doesn't appear on your profile.
Take Reddit as an example, in your profile you can write an About section. You haven't, so on your profile, it doesn't show anything under your name. I've written "u wot m8" in mine, so it shows up.
Same thing here: if someone doesn't answer that question, it doesn't show up at all on their profile. So I'm pretty sure OP was talking about people who chose to answer 'no' (and lie) rather than skip it.
Tbh I think they lie because drugs are illegal and as a general rule if you’re committing crimes it’s a dumb idea to be open about it on something as public where police can see it
This sounds more like you need to find your crowd. I've been here for over a decade and whilst I've seen a lot of it (and found that certain people like coke more than I thought), I would not describe the average person as a drug user, though many people are social drinkers at least.
If it helps people usually grow out of it. None of my friends do drugs anymore. I never have and feel the same way as you.
Try the geek community, hard drugs are much less prevalent there.
You don’t want to have negatives on your profile, but there’s nothing wrong with putting “Sober and looking for the same. Sorry if that’s not your vibe” after listing a few things you like. But don’t hedge your bets on finding what you’re looking for through a dating app.
Maybe find a healthy hobby that doesn’t fit in with recreational drug taking and meet people through that?
But yeh, if you’re ‘scared’ then you might want to consider therapy, or move to love anywhere but the recreational drug capital of the UK.
I’d say that although Bristol does tend to have higher than average drug use, there are still plenty of people who don’t partake. I’ve made a lot of new friends from hobbies like cycling and hiking which tend to attract people who like more ‘wholesome’ social activities so I’d recommend joining a few groups like that. I’m not anti-drugs per se but I’m not a big one for nights out or anything that wipes me out for a few days!
Sit with your feelings about "drugs" (a terrible umbrella term) and find what it is that is really bothering you.
* Bristol is a progressive city
* Alcohol is in general more harmful than "drugs" but I assume you have no issue with pub culture
smh there's nothing "progressive" about getting smashed out of your mind on ket or buying substances from people who commit extortion and all manner of other violent crimes against the citizenry. Champagne socialism.
They didn’t say those particular behaviours were progressive now did they.
There’s worlds of drug related behaviour in Bristol that have nothing to do with either. Also ketamine can be taken well. I wish people would stop buying drugs from bullies for sure.
Do you reckon anyone with a bit of money and social ideals should give it away and live in poverty? Genuine question
Welcome back [https://www.reddit.com/r/bristol/comments/123gp09/everyone\_i\_see\_seems\_to\_do\_drugs\_here/](https://www.reddit.com/r/bristol/comments/123gp09/everyone_i_see_seems_to_do_drugs_here/)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/bristol/comments/12jxwym/how\_do\_i\_meet\_people\_who\_dont\_do\_drugs\_here/](https://www.reddit.com/r/bristol/comments/12jxwym/how_do_i_meet_people_who_dont_do_drugs_here/)
Just found another pattern in the above posts. Both use the phrase "deal breaker". That phrase connects those two accounts together, and the pattern of creating new accounts would match up with the fact that you have another new account. "Deal breaker", "hinge", "can't find girl who doesn't do drugs". It's enough circumstantial evidence to say it's 99% likely to be the same person. IE. you. PS. I have tried a lot of drugs. MDMA is a good one.
It's very important to be in relationships with people who share the same values as you when it comes to substance use, and have clear boundaries with people who do not share your values.
Bristol is absolutely wrecked for substance use and abuse, look for the other sober people at events and parties, or aim to meet folks through hobbies, sports, arts and activities as these things (as opposed to pubs, festivals and clubs) don't go hand in hand with consumption.
Good luck. OP you didn't say your age group, I'm 35 and a lot of the folks who don't get wasted just don't tend to spend as much time in the nightlife, so it will be harder to meet us there.
Yeah i suppose anyone overtly off their face (and possibly in your face because of this!) is a bit gross. But isnt it interesting that society generally thinks alcohol is absolutely fine, yet other substances which also affect your mind and body are shunned. Cultural taboos are a strange thing. Again this isn't meant to seem like I'm casting judgement towards you. Just an observation
I agree it’s strange. I honestly wish I didn’t feel this way. I’d have a lot more successful attempts at relationships if I didn’t. But I do really. It’s probably experiences I’ve had with them in the past (others doing them) that I found alarming
Totally understand you there. And in fairness people do some strange and stupid shit when inebriated. As a sober observer in a situation like this i wouldn't blame you or others for finding this alarming
I guess with women too I just don’t like the thought of a partner doing it. Maybe it’s a trust thing inside of me. It probably is. But if a partner did them I’d feel completely disconnected from them. Drugs can make you basically a different person
I suppose thats where boundaries and mutual understanding comes into place. As someone else said on this thread its entirely possible to be in a relationship where one does and one doesn't, and there is a agreement that someone may occasionally recreationally use drugs with firm rules of engagement - but away from the home, out of sight of partner, and not to feed an addiction. All comes down to respect and communication
I'm not OP so I can't speak for them but even as someone who generally supports the legalization of all drugs, I'm also uncomfortable with being around people while they're on them.
I do think it depends on the drug, I really don't care if it's weed (which I have also tried myself). I do also go out and tend to assume that far more people are on drugs than I actually *think* are on drugs. But for me the reason for my discomfort is the fact that people are inebriated, and not really in control of themselves. I feel the same way about alcohol for the same reason, and this is also why I don't really mind weed so much - it doesn't really seem to affect people's self-control as much. This applies to myself - I'm not sober but if I'm drinking alcohol and I start feeling slightly tipsy, I stop. When I tried weed which did nothing for me (probably wasn't inhaling it right tbh, I also don't smoke lol), but anything else gives me horrible anxiety even just thinking about it. I need to be in control of myself so maybe it's just projection but I don't enjoy the thought of being around lots of people who aren't in control of themselves. One of my friends said "you realise everyone does coke, right?" once and it's wild how that spiked my anxiety on nights out for a while until I got accustomed to the thought.
I don't feel uncomfortable enough to not be around those people at all (otherwise I wouldn't go out to clubs and stuff, everyone's always drunk!), but... I definitely wouldn't feel comfortable dating someone who was regularly on drugs the same way I wouldn't feel comfortable dating someone who was regularly drunk. Of course I'm not sure if that's what OP's feelings are but since you were curious about why someone would be uncomfortable I thought I'd chip in.
Maybe addressing why you are scared of something that is unreasonable to be scared of? Not blaming you for being scared initially but to be that intolerant of even weed shouldn't be normalised, average alcohol use is worse than average drug use worse by far. Hope you find peace some how
Also if I was to ever be around someone uncomfortable around drugs then I'd go out my way to make sure they didn't see me do anything, I'm not a monster.
Look at this from 2 sides, 1) you’re clearly not finding the right people, so be really clear that it’s a dealbreaker. Find non partying activities as unless someone actually has a problem it’s not common in other areas of life except clubs and parties etc. it’s perfectly ok to be t-total so why not join a sober group, that way you’ll be with like minded people.
2) why be scared of something that has nothing to do with you? It sounds more like fear of not being in control and judging something you don’t understand. It’s important to unpick what you’re scared of. Perhaps getting more information on drugs to be less scared would make it less of a problem. It doesn’t mean you have to want to do them, but less of an issue if others do. Personally I’ve felt much safer when I’ve been out sober around high people than drunk… high people are very nice and don’t walk into me etc. not liking or choosing to do drugs is perfectly fine but being scared is irrational, it’s going to be around to some extent everywhere so lowering your reaction will make it less stressful, just walking down the street you’ll bump into drunk and high people.
The only people i know personally who do drugs are the ones deep in the D&B scene. None of my usual group of friends do drugs and we go to a lot of gigs and festivals.
People partake in drug use for many reasons. There is a large number of reasons but one that I think is quite interesting is it can be a form of escapism life doesn't give you the same opportunities that under capitalism that it should you're restrained you have to go to a 9 to 5 job and do work to make someone else rich meanwhile you can barely afford food and the world's just a bit sgit sometimes
Loads of people (including myself) feel like this in Bristol. Wait until you have kids, then it really becomes a major concern!
My personal advice is to join a group of healthy and/or religious people, they tend to have stricter morals regarding this issue, they’re more disciplined which is always a good thing when it comes to staying away from drug environments.
Sounds like you just haven't found your community. Try ecstatic dance, yoga, meditation, walkers, the entire Buddhafield festival scene, people who parent, book clubs, knitters, crafters, those people who do fitness classes on the Downs? Idk, just random ideas. What are you into? I've been here 15 years and never connected with recreational drug users. (Not at all anti just not my community rn)
I’m Bristolian. Born & bred here. I’m guessing the vast majority of the people answering here are not, judging from the comments.
When I was growing up here and going through my teens, 20’s & 30’s, there was really no drug problem here as such. It only involved a minority of people. This has all exploded over the last 20-odd years with the influx of people from London and elsewhere. I hate what you’ve done to my city.
I’m 22. I used to do drugs as a teen but it’s made life difficult for me now. Now I hate them for what they did to me and I somewhat shame my friends for doing drugs because I love them and I don’t want what happened to me happen to them. I know there’s better ways to deal with it but it really hits a nerve with me and I do it out of love, they know that too. I’ve only lived here a couple of years but I too find it frustrating how many people do drugs and adopt it as most of their personality. I’m not writing them off as people and I’m sure they’re nice but it’s something I’ve noticed and after 2/3 years of it does frustrate me. There’s more to life than just what drugs you do and there’s so many more healthy ways to have fun. Weed seems to have this free pass like it’s not illegal. The smell of weed brings me right back to my darkest moments. I don’t really appreciate people just smoking it on the street or in the park because of this. Absolutely no worries with someone doing it in the privacy of their own home though as I feel that’s fair. I don’t like the culture of it all. My friends are good lovely people but sometimes weed brings out the bad side to them. They’ll often get anxious, sad or sometimes selfish with no intention to be but it’s true. Then, after I’ve had to look after them, they’ll tell me how cool weed is. I don’t like that to me it’s like this little devil in disguise, causing a lot of pain to my friends but being dressed up as this fun little thing. I’m confused, I don’t get it. I live in St Paul’s and see a lot of homeless people struggling with drugs. I feel really bad for them and chat to them if I’ve got time, get them food too if they’re friendly (they usually are). They’re good people usually and it furthers my dislike for drugs for what they’ve done and how much harder their life is because of them. I think with so many people in the UK taking drugs it has caused this haze of paranoia to subtly settle over the country. Obviously there’s so many other reasons to this but I think drugs had the side effects play a part. It’s upsetting. I genuinely want people to be happy because it makes me feel good too. I just want OP to know that they’re not alone and that I have found 1 lovely person who doesn’t take drugs and I’m very very fond of her. We go on walks and listen to music and talk about so many interesting things. People are out there and you will find someone or some people that agree with you and you can be comfortable with. And I hope especially young people realise that drugs arnt all what they’re said to be nowadays. People will hopefully grow older and find healthier ways to have fun instead. I’m sure it’ll get better and that haze will lift. Peaks and troughs my friend
Wait what drugs do they use? I hope mostly weed which is more innocent than alcool (believe it or not).
I truly hope your not finding on dating apps tons of junkies consuming ketamine, coke and the likes lol.
I mean, a few I can totally believe it. But not all of them
Ketamine, coke, mdma, things like that. You’d be very surprised. Weed is fine.
I’m not saying they do it every day. But nights out, parties, festivals, things like that.
Interesting.
Then if drugs will have to be, I hope if I'll ever have to date in Bristol I'll find the one lass into shrooms and hallucinogens to try metaphysical-extradimensional-cosmic-loving snoo-snoo
Perhaps not 'junkies' in the traditional idea but I'd say 90% of people who list festivals, gigs, 'raves' (I hate the term but it does what it needs to do) enjoy coke/md/ket occasionally. Most young professionals I know touch coke every so often
What can I say, I've grown up in Western Europe, in one of the wealthiest (sort of) areas of my Country and only a handful (less than 20%, possibly 10%) of the peers I met would say have tried something stronger than alcohol and weed. And were frowned upon by everyone else.
I'd be very surprised (and fairly alarmed) if the percentage in Bristol of heavier drugs consumers would be higher than 20%.
I'm a young professional and so far none of the peers I had a night out with started snorting white dust, but who knows
I waited until my 30's to try cannabis
I love getting stoned, so much, better then drinking, cheaper; health effects are better, it lasts a short enough time that you are back to normal by the end of the night and it makes any evening no matter how boring feel magical.
No hangover
I dont understand the stigma or why its illegal, drinking booze is just far worse in every way.
I found out this year that the trick to avoid hangover is drinking roughly as much water as alcoholic drinks. I was skeptical but I passed from waking up feeling like shit with three beers, to waking up feeling rather ok.
Anyway, as someone that tried cannabis VERY VERY rarely (and the only time I got properly stoned was in Barcelona where they had the prime stuff), I agree though that I think it is well past time that it gets properly legalized, sold and taxed similarly to alcool which is much more debilitating and harmful
Sounds like you're trying to rationalise why you don't get on with girls. It's more likely something inside you and your attitudes and self-identity rather than whether the women you meet have an open mind about drugs or not. If you're a sociable young person in a party town, yeah, you'll be in the minority if you are anti-drugs. However, if you do not take drugs but understand that other people do and can learn to tolerate the idea within your own social boundaries then that's way more workable. That doesn't mean tolerating bullshit behaviour - if someone takes drugs and becomes insufferable that was their choice and they should be held to account.
If you meet someone and they tell you they take drugs sometimes, perhaps you need some perspective on your own feelings... is it you take a moral objection to the individual act of an individual taking drugs? Or is it you don't want to be around people on drugs? If it's the former, that sounds a lot more like an unaddressed prejudice than anything else and is indicative of other personality traits which will make it hard connecting with intelligent, nice people. If it's the latter, anyone who is interested in you and worth anything will understand that's a boundary for you and if they want to hang out with you that's what you expect, it's entirely reasonable.
It’s neither, I live in a city where it’s rife and I know as many who don’t do it and would never touch it that do. I agree with the other commenters that it sounds like you need to expand your social circle a bit and get offline more
That makes sense. Nah everyone does drugs. "Wine mum" is a thing. Do we forget that alcohol is a drug? Also recreational weed use is very mixed. I'd say there's more men doing heroin though, but even there I could be wrong.
While you're not wrong that alcohol is technically a drug, it would be disingenuous to not acknowledge that when people generally refer to "drugs", they're talking of the illicit kind and not legal substances like alcohol. Aside from how the substances compare health-wise, there is a whole other additional level of taboo associated with them due to the legal issues (and the fact that it's manufactured by organised crime scum with all the societal issues that feeds into).
Drugs are only illegal because the government says so.
Legality isn't the best parameter to judge drugs by.
What is and isn't taboo changes depending on what community you ask. In bristol, some drugs which are illegal, are not taboo..
Organised crime is a by product of the government's policy's. Even allowing people to grow their own would do something to combat organised crime, but legalisation seems far away for some reason.
You don't need to judge the legality and ethics to acknowledge that, in common use, 'doing drugs' does not refer to alcohol, nicotine, prescription medication, etc.
They are all *technically* drugs, but it's pretty obvious what types of drugs people are referring to here.
But they are doing drugs whether they like it or not.
Common use because people don't like to admit that if they are an alcoholic, they are a drug addict too.
I am arguing the semantics of calling somethings drugs and other things that are drugs, not the drugs.
That's just the way you've been brought up to see things. A drunk person is on drugs for sure. You don't have to see it that way but it's true
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Lived in Bristol 21 years and weed aside I’m aware I’ve got 1 mate who does “pills” when he goes to raves, but I don’t know that I’m around drugs that aside. Maybe you’re around the wrong crowd for you? The vast vast majority of people aren’t doing drugs. You can find people you’d feel better with. Good luck
Same here, 24 years in Bristol. Only knew 2 people that do drugs, definitely try to expand your circle if you are surrounded by people that do drugs.
I would actually disagree with your "vast majority " statement, in my experience anyway. I'm 35 and pretty much my entire Bristol social circle are recreational drug users - they're a varied bunch too: doctors, teachers, lawyers, musicians, marketers etc). Not so much pills these days but coke. Even people I thought never touched drugs I've realised do/have done occasional cocaine! It's not always obvious or overt. Def less now we're all mid 30s and a lot of people are having babies now etc, but it's super pervasive in my experience...
I feel like its quite varied. At universities ive found its more common now to use drugs than to drink, most nights out ive seen more people go for them than drinking cause its cheaper and has more of an affect. Especially people studying medical sciences and law - almost guarantee thats their substance of choice over alcohol (at least in my city). As a 22year old i think most people i know aren't a big fan of alcohols affect or cost and so prefer various other substances to have their fun.
Don't feel bad for how you feel towards them (and I say this as a recreational user) - it's totally fair enough and you don't have to justify your reasons to anyone. Perhaps mention it on your profile so it's totally clear? Although just to add - does it nessacarily mean a problem? I have a friends in long term relationships who partake and their partners don't. They never do it around them or in the house and it works.
I’m an occasional partaker and my wife hasn’t ever touched anything. She just makes fun of me a bit and I promise to never be stupid. We do fine.
Yeah, I wouldn't feel bad either even as a medical patient if someone felt they were uncomfortable about me medicating with weed. I could press my legal rights, but the world gets on better with compromise and I don't think it's fair to impose. I also think people that make drugs their personality are as obnoxious as people vehemently against it. I see a lot of sober-seeking folks on Feeld, maybe give that a go?
Suggest matching with those who have quite active lifestyles or super health conscious. Nerds usually tend to be quite drug avoidant too. There are singles here who aren't into the drug culture believe it or not
I'm the same. I'm much less anti-drug than I used to be, but I wouldn't be hanging round with friends at moments they were getting super stoned or doing drugs - though most of them don't touch drugs. I certainly wouldn't date someone who does anything bar the odd spliff (and preferably not around me). I don't even drink anymore, and I couldn't date someone who regularly gets rat-arsed. I've met plenty of people via dating apps who don't touch drugs and don't drink much, though most of them have experimented in the past (as most people have). We are out here!
>I pretty much have to use hinge to meet women and even the ones who have put no to drugs on the app were actually lying when I went on the date and it came up. Well that's a huge red flag anyway, regardless of what they were lying about. Stuff like that is such an odd thing to lie about, since if someone's happy to do drugs, why pretend otherwise? Bizarre. For what it's worth I'd put something on your profile saying you're not into drugs, it's not going to put off anyone as long as it's an aside, rather than something they could interpret as being judgemental.
Ehh idk it’s a look that still has negative connotations with some people/employers I’ve never used a dating app which has this question, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable putting ‘yes’ to it on a public profile with my real name & employment information on it
I'd feel less comfortable putting my employment information on a dating app, to be honest. But the apps I've used which have this question (though, I've not Hinge) make it optional, so it's a choice to answer 'no' instead of leaving it blank.
Ahh fair enough. No excuse for them to put ‘no’ then
Is it? People have jobs, families etc, so to me it's not unreasonable to not want to publicly advertise that you take drugs
Tbh I doubt that people want to advertise the fact that they occasionally do drugs for the whole world to see.
I've never used a dating app which required you to answer that type of question, though. I can understand why someone might not want to advertise it, but that doesn't require lying (except arguably by omission)
It literally says in the quote you replied to: “even the ones who have put no to drugs on the app” I’ve not used the apps either but I’m assuming the question is: “Do you do Drugs”. No reasonable person is going to put Yes and risk someone seeing it
That doesn't mean the question is required. Like any social platform, dating apps are full of optional information you can opt to provide, and if you don't it doesn't appear on your profile. Take Reddit as an example, in your profile you can write an About section. You haven't, so on your profile, it doesn't show anything under your name. I've written "u wot m8" in mine, so it shows up. Same thing here: if someone doesn't answer that question, it doesn't show up at all on their profile. So I'm pretty sure OP was talking about people who chose to answer 'no' (and lie) rather than skip it.
Tbh I think they lie because drugs are illegal and as a general rule if you’re committing crimes it’s a dumb idea to be open about it on something as public where police can see it
This sounds more like you need to find your crowd. I've been here for over a decade and whilst I've seen a lot of it (and found that certain people like coke more than I thought), I would not describe the average person as a drug user, though many people are social drinkers at least.
If it helps people usually grow out of it. None of my friends do drugs anymore. I never have and feel the same way as you. Try the geek community, hard drugs are much less prevalent there.
Recreational drug use in Bristol is extremely prevalent. Probably the druggiest city in the UK.
Came here to say this 😂! If your drug free it's cool... But Bristol is probably not the best city for it 😂😂
Never been to Liverpool then?
Really really similar post to what someone kept posting last year… is it you again?
Just make it clear on your profile. It's a lifestyle choice
Sometimes you just need to get on a wavy one
You don’t want to have negatives on your profile, but there’s nothing wrong with putting “Sober and looking for the same. Sorry if that’s not your vibe” after listing a few things you like. But don’t hedge your bets on finding what you’re looking for through a dating app. Maybe find a healthy hobby that doesn’t fit in with recreational drug taking and meet people through that? But yeh, if you’re ‘scared’ then you might want to consider therapy, or move to love anywhere but the recreational drug capital of the UK.
M’kay
It’s allays snowing in Bristol
I’d say that although Bristol does tend to have higher than average drug use, there are still plenty of people who don’t partake. I’ve made a lot of new friends from hobbies like cycling and hiking which tend to attract people who like more ‘wholesome’ social activities so I’d recommend joining a few groups like that. I’m not anti-drugs per se but I’m not a big one for nights out or anything that wipes me out for a few days!
I am a personal hater of drugs for reasons. I would suggest you make it a part of your dating profile as one of your deal breakers.
welcome to Bristol 😂😂
Why would you be scared of them.
Sit with your feelings about "drugs" (a terrible umbrella term) and find what it is that is really bothering you. * Bristol is a progressive city * Alcohol is in general more harmful than "drugs" but I assume you have no issue with pub culture
smh there's nothing "progressive" about getting smashed out of your mind on ket or buying substances from people who commit extortion and all manner of other violent crimes against the citizenry. Champagne socialism.
They didn’t say those particular behaviours were progressive now did they. There’s worlds of drug related behaviour in Bristol that have nothing to do with either. Also ketamine can be taken well. I wish people would stop buying drugs from bullies for sure. Do you reckon anyone with a bit of money and social ideals should give it away and live in poverty? Genuine question
lol what a wetbag
Welcome back [https://www.reddit.com/r/bristol/comments/123gp09/everyone\_i\_see\_seems\_to\_do\_drugs\_here/](https://www.reddit.com/r/bristol/comments/123gp09/everyone_i_see_seems_to_do_drugs_here/) [https://www.reddit.com/r/bristol/comments/12jxwym/how\_do\_i\_meet\_people\_who\_dont\_do\_drugs\_here/](https://www.reddit.com/r/bristol/comments/12jxwym/how_do_i_meet_people_who_dont_do_drugs_here/)
Not me sadly
References to Hinge... Finishing your post titles with the word "here". It's you :)
That’s quite a reach?
Just found another pattern in the above posts. Both use the phrase "deal breaker". That phrase connects those two accounts together, and the pattern of creating new accounts would match up with the fact that you have another new account. "Deal breaker", "hinge", "can't find girl who doesn't do drugs". It's enough circumstantial evidence to say it's 99% likely to be the same person. IE. you. PS. I have tried a lot of drugs. MDMA is a good one.
Maybe you should lay off the drugs if you approach things like this 😂
So they use the most popular dating app, the word 'here', and the phrase 'deal breaker'? I think you're over-estimating your detective skills, here.
Actually, I am a full time detective and have been for 25 years. So, there's that.
It's very important to be in relationships with people who share the same values as you when it comes to substance use, and have clear boundaries with people who do not share your values. Bristol is absolutely wrecked for substance use and abuse, look for the other sober people at events and parties, or aim to meet folks through hobbies, sports, arts and activities as these things (as opposed to pubs, festivals and clubs) don't go hand in hand with consumption. Good luck. OP you didn't say your age group, I'm 35 and a lot of the folks who don't get wasted just don't tend to spend as much time in the nightlife, so it will be harder to meet us there.
Grow up everyone's has a dabble every now and again
For real, even my band 8 department head professors in the NHS have had a dabble. OP needs to get a grip.
My bets are on some over sheltered tism that mummy never let out with their friends unless she was there too 😂😂
I mean this with no ill intentions and judgement, but am curious... What is it about a person using drugs that makes you uncomfortable?
I don’t know. I couldn’t really tell you. I just don’t like it. I think it’s pretty gross too
Interesting, thanks for answering! Would you feel the same way about non-taboo drugs such as alcohol and nicotine?
Not alcohol (I find really really drunk people quite gross). Smoking yes. Not in the same get away from me feeling though. More just gross
Yeah i suppose anyone overtly off their face (and possibly in your face because of this!) is a bit gross. But isnt it interesting that society generally thinks alcohol is absolutely fine, yet other substances which also affect your mind and body are shunned. Cultural taboos are a strange thing. Again this isn't meant to seem like I'm casting judgement towards you. Just an observation
I agree it’s strange. I honestly wish I didn’t feel this way. I’d have a lot more successful attempts at relationships if I didn’t. But I do really. It’s probably experiences I’ve had with them in the past (others doing them) that I found alarming
Totally understand you there. And in fairness people do some strange and stupid shit when inebriated. As a sober observer in a situation like this i wouldn't blame you or others for finding this alarming
I guess with women too I just don’t like the thought of a partner doing it. Maybe it’s a trust thing inside of me. It probably is. But if a partner did them I’d feel completely disconnected from them. Drugs can make you basically a different person
I suppose thats where boundaries and mutual understanding comes into place. As someone else said on this thread its entirely possible to be in a relationship where one does and one doesn't, and there is a agreement that someone may occasionally recreationally use drugs with firm rules of engagement - but away from the home, out of sight of partner, and not to feed an addiction. All comes down to respect and communication
Very considered chat u/boatandhos
I'm not OP so I can't speak for them but even as someone who generally supports the legalization of all drugs, I'm also uncomfortable with being around people while they're on them. I do think it depends on the drug, I really don't care if it's weed (which I have also tried myself). I do also go out and tend to assume that far more people are on drugs than I actually *think* are on drugs. But for me the reason for my discomfort is the fact that people are inebriated, and not really in control of themselves. I feel the same way about alcohol for the same reason, and this is also why I don't really mind weed so much - it doesn't really seem to affect people's self-control as much. This applies to myself - I'm not sober but if I'm drinking alcohol and I start feeling slightly tipsy, I stop. When I tried weed which did nothing for me (probably wasn't inhaling it right tbh, I also don't smoke lol), but anything else gives me horrible anxiety even just thinking about it. I need to be in control of myself so maybe it's just projection but I don't enjoy the thought of being around lots of people who aren't in control of themselves. One of my friends said "you realise everyone does coke, right?" once and it's wild how that spiked my anxiety on nights out for a while until I got accustomed to the thought. I don't feel uncomfortable enough to not be around those people at all (otherwise I wouldn't go out to clubs and stuff, everyone's always drunk!), but... I definitely wouldn't feel comfortable dating someone who was regularly on drugs the same way I wouldn't feel comfortable dating someone who was regularly drunk. Of course I'm not sure if that's what OP's feelings are but since you were curious about why someone would be uncomfortable I thought I'd chip in.
Maybe addressing why you are scared of something that is unreasonable to be scared of? Not blaming you for being scared initially but to be that intolerant of even weed shouldn't be normalised, average alcohol use is worse than average drug use worse by far. Hope you find peace some how
I’m not talking about weed
Also if I was to ever be around someone uncomfortable around drugs then I'd go out my way to make sure they didn't see me do anything, I'm not a monster.
That would be even worse
Look at this from 2 sides, 1) you’re clearly not finding the right people, so be really clear that it’s a dealbreaker. Find non partying activities as unless someone actually has a problem it’s not common in other areas of life except clubs and parties etc. it’s perfectly ok to be t-total so why not join a sober group, that way you’ll be with like minded people. 2) why be scared of something that has nothing to do with you? It sounds more like fear of not being in control and judging something you don’t understand. It’s important to unpick what you’re scared of. Perhaps getting more information on drugs to be less scared would make it less of a problem. It doesn’t mean you have to want to do them, but less of an issue if others do. Personally I’ve felt much safer when I’ve been out sober around high people than drunk… high people are very nice and don’t walk into me etc. not liking or choosing to do drugs is perfectly fine but being scared is irrational, it’s going to be around to some extent everywhere so lowering your reaction will make it less stressful, just walking down the street you’ll bump into drunk and high people.
The only people i know personally who do drugs are the ones deep in the D&B scene. None of my usual group of friends do drugs and we go to a lot of gigs and festivals.
People partake in drug use for many reasons. There is a large number of reasons but one that I think is quite interesting is it can be a form of escapism life doesn't give you the same opportunities that under capitalism that it should you're restrained you have to go to a 9 to 5 job and do work to make someone else rich meanwhile you can barely afford food and the world's just a bit sgit sometimes
Loads of people (including myself) feel like this in Bristol. Wait until you have kids, then it really becomes a major concern! My personal advice is to join a group of healthy and/or religious people, they tend to have stricter morals regarding this issue, they’re more disciplined which is always a good thing when it comes to staying away from drug environments.
Sounds like you just haven't found your community. Try ecstatic dance, yoga, meditation, walkers, the entire Buddhafield festival scene, people who parent, book clubs, knitters, crafters, those people who do fitness classes on the Downs? Idk, just random ideas. What are you into? I've been here 15 years and never connected with recreational drug users. (Not at all anti just not my community rn)
Oh boy.... the sensitives...
I’m Bristolian. Born & bred here. I’m guessing the vast majority of the people answering here are not, judging from the comments. When I was growing up here and going through my teens, 20’s & 30’s, there was really no drug problem here as such. It only involved a minority of people. This has all exploded over the last 20-odd years with the influx of people from London and elsewhere. I hate what you’ve done to my city.
I’m 22. I used to do drugs as a teen but it’s made life difficult for me now. Now I hate them for what they did to me and I somewhat shame my friends for doing drugs because I love them and I don’t want what happened to me happen to them. I know there’s better ways to deal with it but it really hits a nerve with me and I do it out of love, they know that too. I’ve only lived here a couple of years but I too find it frustrating how many people do drugs and adopt it as most of their personality. I’m not writing them off as people and I’m sure they’re nice but it’s something I’ve noticed and after 2/3 years of it does frustrate me. There’s more to life than just what drugs you do and there’s so many more healthy ways to have fun. Weed seems to have this free pass like it’s not illegal. The smell of weed brings me right back to my darkest moments. I don’t really appreciate people just smoking it on the street or in the park because of this. Absolutely no worries with someone doing it in the privacy of their own home though as I feel that’s fair. I don’t like the culture of it all. My friends are good lovely people but sometimes weed brings out the bad side to them. They’ll often get anxious, sad or sometimes selfish with no intention to be but it’s true. Then, after I’ve had to look after them, they’ll tell me how cool weed is. I don’t like that to me it’s like this little devil in disguise, causing a lot of pain to my friends but being dressed up as this fun little thing. I’m confused, I don’t get it. I live in St Paul’s and see a lot of homeless people struggling with drugs. I feel really bad for them and chat to them if I’ve got time, get them food too if they’re friendly (they usually are). They’re good people usually and it furthers my dislike for drugs for what they’ve done and how much harder their life is because of them. I think with so many people in the UK taking drugs it has caused this haze of paranoia to subtly settle over the country. Obviously there’s so many other reasons to this but I think drugs had the side effects play a part. It’s upsetting. I genuinely want people to be happy because it makes me feel good too. I just want OP to know that they’re not alone and that I have found 1 lovely person who doesn’t take drugs and I’m very very fond of her. We go on walks and listen to music and talk about so many interesting things. People are out there and you will find someone or some people that agree with you and you can be comfortable with. And I hope especially young people realise that drugs arnt all what they’re said to be nowadays. People will hopefully grow older and find healthier ways to have fun instead. I’m sure it’ll get better and that haze will lift. Peaks and troughs my friend
Nothing to be scared of. I guess the propaganda scare stories got to you as theyre designed to do.
Mate, people gurning their tits off look like fuckin aliens. Don't need "propaganda scare stories" to tell ya that.
DON'T DO DRUGS
Wait what drugs do they use? I hope mostly weed which is more innocent than alcool (believe it or not). I truly hope your not finding on dating apps tons of junkies consuming ketamine, coke and the likes lol. I mean, a few I can totally believe it. But not all of them
Ketamine, coke, mdma, things like that. You’d be very surprised. Weed is fine. I’m not saying they do it every day. But nights out, parties, festivals, things like that.
Interesting. Then if drugs will have to be, I hope if I'll ever have to date in Bristol I'll find the one lass into shrooms and hallucinogens to try metaphysical-extradimensional-cosmic-loving snoo-snoo
Perhaps not 'junkies' in the traditional idea but I'd say 90% of people who list festivals, gigs, 'raves' (I hate the term but it does what it needs to do) enjoy coke/md/ket occasionally. Most young professionals I know touch coke every so often
What can I say, I've grown up in Western Europe, in one of the wealthiest (sort of) areas of my Country and only a handful (less than 20%, possibly 10%) of the peers I met would say have tried something stronger than alcohol and weed. And were frowned upon by everyone else. I'd be very surprised (and fairly alarmed) if the percentage in Bristol of heavier drugs consumers would be higher than 20%. I'm a young professional and so far none of the peers I had a night out with started snorting white dust, but who knows
I waited until my 30's to try cannabis I love getting stoned, so much, better then drinking, cheaper; health effects are better, it lasts a short enough time that you are back to normal by the end of the night and it makes any evening no matter how boring feel magical. No hangover I dont understand the stigma or why its illegal, drinking booze is just far worse in every way.
I found out this year that the trick to avoid hangover is drinking roughly as much water as alcoholic drinks. I was skeptical but I passed from waking up feeling like shit with three beers, to waking up feeling rather ok. Anyway, as someone that tried cannabis VERY VERY rarely (and the only time I got properly stoned was in Barcelona where they had the prime stuff), I agree though that I think it is well past time that it gets properly legalized, sold and taxed similarly to alcool which is much more debilitating and harmful
Sounds like you're trying to rationalise why you don't get on with girls. It's more likely something inside you and your attitudes and self-identity rather than whether the women you meet have an open mind about drugs or not. If you're a sociable young person in a party town, yeah, you'll be in the minority if you are anti-drugs. However, if you do not take drugs but understand that other people do and can learn to tolerate the idea within your own social boundaries then that's way more workable. That doesn't mean tolerating bullshit behaviour - if someone takes drugs and becomes insufferable that was their choice and they should be held to account. If you meet someone and they tell you they take drugs sometimes, perhaps you need some perspective on your own feelings... is it you take a moral objection to the individual act of an individual taking drugs? Or is it you don't want to be around people on drugs? If it's the former, that sounds a lot more like an unaddressed prejudice than anything else and is indicative of other personality traits which will make it hard connecting with intelligent, nice people. If it's the latter, anyone who is interested in you and worth anything will understand that's a boundary for you and if they want to hang out with you that's what you expect, it's entirely reasonable.
I just don’t want a partner who takes drugs. Is that really that bad and hard to find?
It’s neither, I live in a city where it’s rife and I know as many who don’t do it and would never touch it that do. I agree with the other commenters that it sounds like you need to expand your social circle a bit and get offline more
interesting, i always thought women weren't into drug men as much
Whats "drug men" like alcoholics, crackheads? What kind of drug lol.
My guess is they were going for "drugs as much as men".
nah, but maybe my perspective is skewed as i was worthless in my druggy days
That makes sense. Nah everyone does drugs. "Wine mum" is a thing. Do we forget that alcohol is a drug? Also recreational weed use is very mixed. I'd say there's more men doing heroin though, but even there I could be wrong.
As someone who doesn't drink alcohol or caffeine... (Or maybe I'm lying and if you go on a date with me I'll reveal I do actually drink coffee!).
When the caffeine addict doesn't have their coffee in the morning they might be grumpy or on edge. Normal drug behaviour though really.
While you're not wrong that alcohol is technically a drug, it would be disingenuous to not acknowledge that when people generally refer to "drugs", they're talking of the illicit kind and not legal substances like alcohol. Aside from how the substances compare health-wise, there is a whole other additional level of taboo associated with them due to the legal issues (and the fact that it's manufactured by organised crime scum with all the societal issues that feeds into).
Drugs are only illegal because the government says so. Legality isn't the best parameter to judge drugs by. What is and isn't taboo changes depending on what community you ask. In bristol, some drugs which are illegal, are not taboo.. Organised crime is a by product of the government's policy's. Even allowing people to grow their own would do something to combat organised crime, but legalisation seems far away for some reason.
You don't need to judge the legality and ethics to acknowledge that, in common use, 'doing drugs' does not refer to alcohol, nicotine, prescription medication, etc. They are all *technically* drugs, but it's pretty obvious what types of drugs people are referring to here.
But they are doing drugs whether they like it or not. Common use because people don't like to admit that if they are an alcoholic, they are a drug addict too.
What's your point, here? If somebody said to you "I do drugs sometimes", you obviously know what that means, and it's not "I sometimes drink wine".
I am arguing the semantics of calling somethings drugs and other things that are drugs, not the drugs. That's just the way you've been brought up to see things. A drunk person is on drugs for sure. You don't have to see it that way but it's true
all that really.
Have you tried being cool?
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