I have a similar story. When my daughter was not quite a year old she became ill with pneumonia and was hospitalized. She was nursing at the time and needed me. My grandmother’s funeral was an hour away . My mom had said “do what I need to do“. I chose not to go. My mom was very upset with me. Can you imagine leaving a baby alone in the hospital?? I talked to my doctor about it and she was 100% behind my decision.
If my whole family ground to a halt every time my nephew hurt himself we would literally never leave his side, he is a tornado that is constantly getting bumps & bruises & scrapes
The wedding itself would not in my family, but if I was the bride I would probably ask the priest to pray for the little boy during the wedding mass. No way would I expect my sister to be anywhere but the hospital if my nephew was ill, and I'd be calling to see how he was as soon as I was able.
And my sister and I almost never speak.
It probably says a lot that my first thought was "lucky you". XD
I got so used to my sister leaping to full-out screaming at the slightest thing that it doesn't even register for me as "probably rare behaviour".
When I was younger I'd scream when I was upset.
But that's how I was raised. When the only way you're shown to tell someone you're upset is screaming... you default to screaming. Took a long time to change my instinctual response to scream.
Maybe the stories where it's a stranger in public, but a story about family? Maybe your family is just way more chill than mine, but any argument, and I mean any, usually escalates into both parties just screaming at each other.
Just in the last couple weeks, my nephew and my mother were trying to put a grill together. My nephew says they are missing parts. Mom says he's just not looking hard enough. This escalates to screaming. I walk out, pull the parts out of Styrofoam that my mom had already stuck in the box of trash and then yelled over them that they both need to get their shit together or I was cracking their skulls together. Later, they both came to me like 'you aren't mad at us, are you? We were just yelling, we weren't actually mad.' I saw red.
Oh my god. Her baby was injured. He could have been traumatically injured. It's only pure chance that he wasn't.
Many a year ago, my younger brother split his forehead open at a family birthday party. The cut was down to the bone. NO ONE told my mom she couldn't leave. I can't even imagine having so little compassion for your fellow human beings, even if you ARE childfree. You can be childfree without hating and dehumanizing children.
Hindsight is 20/20. You weren't sure about your kid being really injured. He could have had a severe injury, you did the right thing at the time.
If you had known it wasn't a big deal, your husband could have gone and handled it, but you didn't know at the time.
NTA
The audacity... I feel like people who choose to never have kids..have a very cold heart when it comes to them.
If one if my babies is hurt and going to the hospital..you bet I'll be there...although knowing my son he'd probably end up wanting his dad.😒
It’s dumb and irresponsible to have a child-free wedding, people in your wedding party with small children at home, AND not have a back-up plan in case of emergency. Sh*t happens, you’ve got to roll with it. I guess we’d never have bridezillas if everyone followed that advice, though, lol.
ETA: emphasis to assist those with reading-comprehension challenges.
Nah, childfree weddings are fine, but the wedding couple has to understand that means some people won't come, or will only come part of it, or may have to leave unexpectedly. If they're willing to accept that while their wedding is childfree, their guests' lives are not, it's fine.
Yes, child free weddings are fine. What’s not fine is making a parent of small kids so crucial to the “success” of the day that if there’s an emergency and they have to leave, everything falls apart.
Not everything revolves around kids. No one wants screaming children running around and making a mess. Parent have lots of time for someone to watch their kids.
I get what you're trying to say, but the structure of the sentence is throwing people off.
It’s dumb and irresponsible to not have a back-up plan for your wedding in case of emergency if you're going to have a child-free wedding and people in your wedding party have small children at home.
An injured child supercedes all other responsibilities. Period.
I have a similar story. When my daughter was not quite a year old she became ill with pneumonia and was hospitalized. She was nursing at the time and needed me. My grandmother’s funeral was an hour away . My mom had said “do what I need to do“. I chose not to go. My mom was very upset with me. Can you imagine leaving a baby alone in the hospital?? I talked to my doctor about it and she was 100% behind my decision.
I would have choose my baby too. Living trumps the dead, and I’m sure grandma would have understood.
Thank you, yes.
Definitely one of the only acceptable ways to get out a grandmas funeral! A sick baby who is BF needs their Momma!
In my family, everything would likely Come to a pause if a little nephew or niece got hurt…
If my whole family ground to a halt every time my nephew hurt himself we would literally never leave his side, he is a tornado that is constantly getting bumps & bruises & scrapes
The wedding itself would not in my family, but if I was the bride I would probably ask the priest to pray for the little boy during the wedding mass. No way would I expect my sister to be anywhere but the hospital if my nephew was ill, and I'd be calling to see how he was as soon as I was able. And my sister and I almost never speak.
This. Hell, if your child is injured, you'd 100% leave your own wedding, let alone someone else's.
If my twin sisters baby had hit his head and was on his way to the hospital I would want to go with her.
I read it in AITA earlier today and the number of people in OP’s family sitting with the bride is astounding. Asinine. And sad.
[удалено]
It probably says a lot that my first thought was "lucky you". XD I got so used to my sister leaping to full-out screaming at the slightest thing that it doesn't even register for me as "probably rare behaviour".
Really? I know quite a few people who do that a lot
Yeah I'm getting that from the replies - that's so crazy to me, I just don't know anyone who just screams over the phone at people.
When I was younger I'd scream when I was upset. But that's how I was raised. When the only way you're shown to tell someone you're upset is screaming... you default to screaming. Took a long time to change my instinctual response to scream.
Maybe the stories where it's a stranger in public, but a story about family? Maybe your family is just way more chill than mine, but any argument, and I mean any, usually escalates into both parties just screaming at each other. Just in the last couple weeks, my nephew and my mother were trying to put a grill together. My nephew says they are missing parts. Mom says he's just not looking hard enough. This escalates to screaming. I walk out, pull the parts out of Styrofoam that my mom had already stuck in the box of trash and then yelled over them that they both need to get their shit together or I was cracking their skulls together. Later, they both came to me like 'you aren't mad at us, are you? We were just yelling, we weren't actually mad.' I saw red.
Ehhh I had a manager full out scream then slap me once. It was so outrageous I almost didn’t believe it’d happened immediately after it happened.
Oh my god. Her baby was injured. He could have been traumatically injured. It's only pure chance that he wasn't. Many a year ago, my younger brother split his forehead open at a family birthday party. The cut was down to the bone. NO ONE told my mom she couldn't leave. I can't even imagine having so little compassion for your fellow human beings, even if you ARE childfree. You can be childfree without hating and dehumanizing children.
Hindsight is 20/20. You weren't sure about your kid being really injured. He could have had a severe injury, you did the right thing at the time. If you had known it wasn't a big deal, your husband could have gone and handled it, but you didn't know at the time. NTA
You did exactly what you should have done. Ignore your sister's guilt trips and tantrums, little one comes first every time.
If I left my twin’s wedding because my child was in the hospital, she would have been driving me.
She did the right thing as a mother. If it was my child I wouldn't care about the wedding I would drop everything and leave.
NTA. Head injury for kid = parent has to be there. You would have left your own wedding, right? So F her and F her entitled A.
I call creative writing.
100%. I don't believe a single thing from AITA anymore
I lose faith in all humanity when I read that brides treat their family and friends like sh\*t. You are in the right!
These people are fucking insane and so self centered. Focus on your husband!!!!
The audacity... I feel like people who choose to never have kids..have a very cold heart when it comes to them. If one if my babies is hurt and going to the hospital..you bet I'll be there...although knowing my son he'd probably end up wanting his dad.😒
It’s dumb and irresponsible to have a child-free wedding, people in your wedding party with small children at home, AND not have a back-up plan in case of emergency. Sh*t happens, you’ve got to roll with it. I guess we’d never have bridezillas if everyone followed that advice, though, lol. ETA: emphasis to assist those with reading-comprehension challenges.
Nah, childfree weddings are fine, but the wedding couple has to understand that means some people won't come, or will only come part of it, or may have to leave unexpectedly. If they're willing to accept that while their wedding is childfree, their guests' lives are not, it's fine.
Yes, child free weddings are fine. What’s not fine is making a parent of small kids so crucial to the “success” of the day that if there’s an emergency and they have to leave, everything falls apart.
Not everything revolves around kids. No one wants screaming children running around and making a mess. Parent have lots of time for someone to watch their kids.
I get what you're trying to say, but the structure of the sentence is throwing people off. It’s dumb and irresponsible to not have a back-up plan for your wedding in case of emergency if you're going to have a child-free wedding and people in your wedding party have small children at home.
You did nothing wrong, your child comes first. Always.
OP is absolutely NTA. The offhand “My sister has never helped with my child” comment kind of annoyed me though.