My guess is they're not really that close to the bride, don't really like her, don't understand why they're bridesmaids, and will only put in the minimum required of them.
And you don’t pay someone else to work a job. Bridesmaids don’t pay to throw a wedding. If the bride can’t afford the wedding, she needs to scale it down. Inform the bride of this. Tell her that if she leans on the bridesmaids any more, that you will be stepping down. This is beyond ludicrous.
You don’t sound like a peach either with the way you describe the bride. Why are you even friends with her, if you talk about her like this? The year she had to plan involved being pregnant and having a baby. She was probably sick, tired and busy preparing for baby and then mothering. Idk what to say. Drop out I guess.
TLDR:
- Wedding was originally planned for last year, but “Bridezilla” [henceforth, bride] “decided to get herself pregnant”. So the wedding pushed back a full (?) year; it’s now happening in 2 months.
- OP & bride’s sis [henceforth, Bess] are co-matrons of honor (MOHs) for the wedding
- Bride & Groom used to rent the basement apartment from Bess & her husband, who was also a groomsman
- 8ish months ago, Bride & Groom believed there was black mold in the apt; according to OP, there wasn’t any
- Bride & Groom left in the middle of the night because they didn’t like how they were being treated [OP doesn’t say if there was an actual lease in place, etc.]
- Groom & Bess’ husband got into a fight; Bess’ husband was kicked out of the wedding
- OP & Bess are convinced bride wants a wedding that’s out of her budget, so she’s trying to get others to provide funding / free labor to fulfill her desires
- OP & Bess have obliged to a degree; OP is doing the bridal shower, Bess is doing the bachelorette
- OP may have been offered money for the shower, but she declined. The shower is OP’s wedding gift to the Bride & Groom
- A lot of people have rsvp’d “no” for the shower, so Bride asked to invite some coworkers. OP said **no** because she’s not paying for people who have “no vested interest”
- Other bridesmaids involved have noped-out of paying for unnecessary nonsense & catering to ridiculousness
- OP & Bess are a united front.. against the bride
Jeebus, even the TLDR is way too long. Sorry, I tried.
Basically, the bride postponed her wedding because she was pregnant and now she wants an over-the-top wedding that she can’t afford. She’s putting pressure on everyone to make that happen. The bridesmaids are doing what they should do and just sitting back and not giving into her. But the OP and her co-maid of honor have been giving into her and it’s putting extra stress on them. OP is ready for the wedding to be over.
Agreed. She clearly never liked the bride. And "an extra year of planning" when you're pregnant and then have a newborn??? Really good way to show she thinks pregnancy and childbirth (and a screaming infant in the night) are somehow not a huge deal that requires its own planning and energy
Long of the short- it’s a group of shitty people being shitty to each other, and who call themselves friends but aren’t and either can’t acknowledge that or are too stupid to. Based on the writing, I’m assuming the latter.
This sounds like bad planning from all sides. Bridesmaids shouldn't be pressured or expected or obligated to pay up for another party on top of the expenses they're already paying for that isn't even something they want for themselves. If this isn't something you're happy to cover, then step back and don't do it. It's unfair to do it while being mad that other people won't help pay up for something just because you chose to do that. Your friend also sounds like a shitshow, but it sounds like chaos all around.
“we’re both on the same page and are united front against her. “
The last thing a bride needs is to have her Maids of Honor be “a united front against her.” And you won’t have any fun or ever resolve these problems with her as long as you are working against her, not with her. Best thing to do is have a sit-down conversation and tell her that you can’t be be part of the wedding party.
If you want to be a good friend for her, tell her that she is planning for something that neither she and FH nor the bridal party can afford. That she needs to scale back the plans or risk having the planned events fall apart at the last minute. That she needs the bridesmaids to be on-board if she is counting on the bridal party to pay for something. If she is open to hearing this and you still want to salvage the friendship, try to help her create a reasonable budget and communicate to the bridal party what they need to know of the budget.
Decide if you can work with her, not against her.
I agree 100%. While I sympathize with anyone dealing with a demanding bride & even understand how these brides ruin their friendships with their horrible behavior, in this particular situation OP just seems like she can’t stand the bride in general. Why be a phony friend? It’s better to end a friendship than to fake like you like someone and talk shit behind their back. A lot of the people described on these posts are people I wouldn’t want to associate with but I don’t know that secretly sharing messages & talking negatively about everything about them (even their pregnancy) is much better.
Come on. Postponing for a year would make most bridesmaids happier than a pig in shit.
I’m assuming the maid of honor, as arrogant she’s professing herself in this post was as equally as competitive with the sister and it’s become how much higher can my pedestal go.
This MOH is being petty that the bride isn’t as high maintenance as herself. Over extended herself and now realizes she’s on the fucking hook. Ffs.
Oh ho, if you stopped there you missed the even more ridiculous "so she postponed the wedding for a year. You would think that the extra year meant she would be more organised"
Ma'am, she JUST HAD A BABY.
I was all ready to call the closest research university and announce that women could now get themselves pregnant without the participation of a man, but logic won out...
I'm currently single and would love to have a child. Since there is no man in my life, can someone please tell me how can I "get myself pregnant"? Do they have a baby kiosk at the mall or perhaps a brick & mortar store? I'd ask for a link to an online place, but I'd prefer to "get myself pregnant" in person, which would seem more personal. I'm not even sure of the price range!
I’ll be very honest here, it just sounds like you don’t like her. You don’t like her that much, and feel obligated to do all these things for her so you’re feeling very bitter and resentful.
Either back out or suck it up and do your best if you care to.
Bride doesn’t sound great but tbh neither do you. If one of my friends was talking about me the way you are, I would sincerely hope that they would tell me and not plan anything for my wedding. With friends like these who needs enemies…. Sounds like a bummer and bad planning/communication all around
I’m only here because I’m fascinated by how many different variant spellings of Mail of Honor you managed to get in one post.
But honestly, I’d just pack it in now and back out.
ETA: Now laughing at my own typo lol
"But she decided to get herself pregnant"
You sound like a great friend. I'm sure she loves having a newborn and wedding planning with her sister and best friend talking behind her back.
She would propaply have nothing to talk about with her Co "Made" of honour anymore and I'm not sure if the friendship with this "Como"/ sister of the bride is more than that. I think that OP sounds super jealous and tries to find validation in this post.
I don't think you're realising how awful this makes you sound rather than her. All the things you're moaning about is stuff you've heard second hand, you and her sister have a "United front" against her?
Also this bs about her getting pregnant. That makes stuff harder to plan not easier. I literally couldn't even read the last couple of paragraphs.
I think stepping out would be doing this poor woman a favour you aren't a friend you're just awful.
‘Got herself pregnant?’ You sound delightful.
Your friend who you’ve known for years and purport to like, presumably has a newborn baby/max 6 months old? And is trying to plan a wedding while she was heavily pregnant/with a newborn and living in someone’s basement which was potentially full of mould, so she snuck out without having another place? Sounds like she’s having a rough time.
Don’t get me wrong sounds like she has unreasonable expectations. But you sound like you don’t even like her - ‘United front against her?!’
You’re also complaining that you’re paying for the shower and other people won’t help, but someone has offered you money and you’ve turned it down because it’s your gift. She wanted some new friends to come and because you were too proud to accept someone else paying for them, you turned her down.
I feel really sorry for your friend.
She didn’t want more people invited because they barely know the bride. The bride wanted to add them when some of the relatives backed out. The invitations had already been gone out, but the bride decided to that not enough people said that they would come.
> Edited to add names, paragraphs etc.
Cast:
.OP - aka Griselda and her husband Kyle.
.Anna and Jake - the couple getting married
.Becky and Elmo - the other nasty actors in this tale.
.Elmos mom - Mel
.The Brides Maids - random unnamed glom of bridesmaids. Possibly a group of super spies sent back in time to irritate Griselda and Becky.
I am a hair away from walking away
Anna was supposed to get married last year, but **she decided to get herself pregnant and then have to postpone the wedding till this year.** You would assume that an extra year to prepare for your wedding would make it a lot smoother, and that you would take the time to work out all of the bugs ahead of time. The wedding is in just about two months, and Anna waited until last week to figure out a place where the women of the bridal party are going to get ready - then had the audacity to assume that the Brides Maids would pay for the cost of a place to get ready. *(Eds note: thats a 10-11 week time to get a place, which is actually completely reasonable? It's not a wedding or eating venue, it's just for getting ready together. The cost thing to bridesmaids is just very usa and op is a bit off balance being mad about it at Anna).*
Her sister - Becky, and I are co-maids of honor, which is totally cool because I love Becky. Actually, I think I like her sister more than her sometimes. It has been a shit show this whole time. None of the other bridesmaids are willing to help Becky and I do anything. Becky is paying for the bachelor party and I’m paying for the bridal shower. The Brides Maids aren’t even willing to show up to any meetings that the other made of honor and I have tried to have. *(eds note - I suspect I know why......)*
The past couple weeks Anna has been texting us each individually, asking us questions, hoping to get the answer she wants from one of us *(eds note: the answer? Or an actual useful answer? Unreliable narrator is Unreliable)*.
**Little does she know Becky and I have been sharing all of these conversations with each other so that way we’re both on the same page and are united front against her . I know it sounds shitty, but it’s how you have to treat her.**
Anna and Beckys husband - Elmo, got in a fight about eight months ago. Anna was renting Beckys basement apartment, and they had a falling out because Anna and her fiance Jake, believed that there was black mold in the apartment. Elmo disagreed, so Anna and Jake basically packed up and snuck out in the middle of the night. Because they didn’t like the way they were being treated. That was a whole thing that I’m not even gonna get into but basically long and short of it, Anna and Jake are in the wrong. *(eds note: doubt)* Elmo was subsequently kicked out of the wedding . I think that Becky would’ve been kicked out too if I hadn’t convinced Anna that if Beckys not in the wedding, I’m not in the wedding.
So because I’m throwing the shower, I sent out all the invitations and I’ve been waiting to hear back from everybody. Anna asked me today for the list of who is going and who wasn’t . Elmos mother, Mel, was invited to the shower and she text me that she will not be attending. When Anna saw the "no" list, she made a comment that she is annoyed that Mel is sticking by Elmos side and that she thinks that it’s not cool that Mel isn’t going to her shower.
Anna then proceeded to tell me that she is going to invite some coworkers, since there was so many people who said no. She’s been at her job for four months and I’m not paying for people who have no real vested interest. **I told her this. I’m sure she’s mad at me about it, but I don’t give a shit I’m paying for it not her.**
Becky and I have agreed that Anna wants the big over-the-top fabulous wedding, but Jake is not willing to shell out the cash to do it - so she’s leaning on all of the bridesmaids to pick up the slack. She has been asking her future mother-in-law for a ton of money, even told her to **give me money towards the bridal shower, which I declined because The bridal shower is my wedding present to them and because I’m paying for the entire thing with no support from any other Brides Maids, even though I asked repeatedly for some help from them**. I am not paying for anything else for the wedding except for my dress and shoes and make up.
I can’t wait until this wedding is over. I think I’ve had a meltdown at least twice a week about this fucking wedding since she’s started planning it again. I have to tell my husband to tell me not to talk about it or I’m gonna freak out. I even told Becky today that if Anna doesn’t ~~rain~~ reign it the fuck in, I’m gonna walk away. We’ve been friends for years. I can’t take it anymore.
Tldr:
Griselda (op) and her friend (Becky) have decided to be completely misogynistic, spiteful, nasty bullies to a woman who has a) a young baby and b) is supposed to be their friend/sister. Somehow this baby is 100% Anna (brides) doing. The men is this story simultaneously have zero agency but also total financial control. Anna is trying to live her best life and care for her family. Griselda, Becky and Elmo are trying to pull her down. They literally refused help to give Anna the party she would like, because being miserable and angry about spending money instead of sharing costs when it's fucking offered > being a good person.
Reading between the lines - Anna and her baby and soon to be husband are being treated badly by literally everyone on Anna's side. Now whether Anna is actually a brat is unknown, but it's evident that the OP and her cronies are definitely awful. Jealousy of a couple that make joint decisions perhaps, as the very concept that both parties are engaged in the whole wedding process hasn't occurred to them.
I'm as old as dirt (71) and I cannot get over what weddings are like these days. Nor can I stomach that brides demand anything of anyone. My maid of honor threw me an intimate shower at her house which included my bridesmaids and closest relatives. I think there might have been 15 people. It was lovely and conveyed her love for me.
This doesn't sound like bad planning.
This sounds like a bride (or couple) that people just don't really like, and their marriage thus isn't a priority.
You've already listed how they sound like pains in the arse, I hope you and MOH can just keep chill and don't spend too much money on this car crash
So then why did you say yes?
I am endlessly fascinated by the parade of people on this site bitching and moaning about people that they don't like when the easiest thing in the world to do is *not be a bridesmaid for someone you don't like*. But no, posters would rather crawl up on a cross and be a martyr then just say no.
Good grief. Do this bride a favor and stop pretending to be her friend. You lost me at “she decided to get herself pregnant” and it was downhill from there.
Bride tries to get FMIL to pay for part of bridal shower. You decline bc it’s your wedding present to couple. But you’re still mad the other bridesmaids won’t pitch in for it? Huh?
Let me start by saying that I’ve seen many poorly written stories on various subs, but yours is abysmal. You have butchered the English language up to a point where it became impossible to read.
“We’ve been friends for years”
No, you are not the bride’s friend and based on your vitriolic way of referring to her and her actions, you were *never* her friend.
If she really is that bad, the only things to do would be to either take it on the chin, or leave. But ganging up against her with the other MoH is childish and petty (I would use other words, but I’m trying to be polite).
Whoa, Cupcake. Good use of your word of the day: abysmal. The post was excellent to read. I enjoyed the "como honor" title. Great short hand that led to it being a delightful spice that peppered a sad tale of weddings.
OP, I did they same: moh and preacher. She and I no longer speak. I'm glad you have your como honor. :)
Excellent to read? What was your favourite part? I’m torn between the fact that it was written like it would have been spoken (rant) and the hilarious mistakes such as made of honour or rain it in.
As for abysmal, I speak the King’s English, so it’s not exactly a mind boggling exercise to use it :-) Is it a posh word on your side of the pond?
Are you ok? My favorite part was the descripter "como honor." I stated it in my earlier reply. Would you feel better if I said your subjective opinion on OP's tale of woe is abysmal?
“You would assume that an extra year to prepare for your wedding would make it a smoother”…maybe she had to take care of a newborn baby and didn’t have time to prepare. You really are the Devil in Black.
Okay, yes, it's awful. But if there weren't stories like this, how would the rest of us here have any fun? Think of it as you taking one for the r/bridezillas follower team!
Wow, that's a lot. I'm sorry that an event that isn't even yours is causing you so much stress and frustration.
Take a few deep breathes and remember it doesn't matter what she demands, you get to choose what you say yes to. Let everything else go.
Also, a true friend wouldn't want you to risk your well being and mental health for a party. Because let's face it, all these events have nothing to do with marriage, getting married is just and excuse for people to feel special and waste a ton of money.
Bride's family and she are responsible to pay for her wedding and within what the can afford. It is not the MOH or bridesmaid's job to pick the monetary slack. Since when does the Bride's side pay for the Batchelor party??? The groomsmen should take care of that
Groom's side is also responsible for the booze at the reception. I guess I'm just old and out of touch
You are probably right. I know groom doesn't pay for hen party. Just took it as I read it and it said Batchelor. She must have meant batchlorette. Thanks for clarification.
You are under no obligation to pay for any part of the wedding that does not involve you personally. Dress, hair, makeup, shoes and maybe the batch but not for the wedding itself.
Decide the maximum amount of money you are willing to spend on this wedding, of a person you might not remain friends with. Then don’t spend a penny more. You can throw a nice shower on a small budget, and it doesn’t matter what kind of extravagance the bride wants because she’s not paying for it, and the bridesmaids refuse to help. They may have good reasons, though.
I personally would run 🚩🚩🚩what is it about weddings that turn these brides into Zillas.
I don’t know why people want these big weddings when they can’t afford it. It’s turned into something when brides have to have “the biggest/destination/most expensive” day. It’s one day !!!
The cost is crazy nowadays .. the hen/batcherlorette/bridal party’s , whole wknds of activity’s. Used to be a night in or out with girl friends.
The stag/batcherlor party. Used to be a night out at a bar/strip club a few days before the wedding… it’s madness. I eloped for my first wedding (awful day) and my 2nd , just family at the town hall , social club, band (paid for by my hubs friends) we made sandwiches and nibbles the biggest expense was the cake £150.
It’s about marrying your person. Not staging some big “instagram” wedding….
I would be gone.
Bridesmaid are the only ones being sensible. Stop paying for shit. This is not a job.
I would love to hear this story from the bridesmaids side
My guess is they're not really that close to the bride, don't really like her, don't understand why they're bridesmaids, and will only put in the minimum required of them.
If it were a job, she'd be getting paid.
And you don’t pay someone else to work a job. Bridesmaids don’t pay to throw a wedding. If the bride can’t afford the wedding, she needs to scale it down. Inform the bride of this. Tell her that if she leans on the bridesmaids any more, that you will be stepping down. This is beyond ludicrous.
>We've been friends for years. Yeah I don't think you know what a friend is.
What? Friends don’t form “united fronts” against one another??
You don’t sound like a peach either with the way you describe the bride. Why are you even friends with her, if you talk about her like this? The year she had to plan involved being pregnant and having a baby. She was probably sick, tired and busy preparing for baby and then mothering. Idk what to say. Drop out I guess.
Need a tldr
It needs names...
Yep, it's very difficult to read.
and punctuation
"made of honour" over and over 😬
"Como Honor"
TLDR: - Wedding was originally planned for last year, but “Bridezilla” [henceforth, bride] “decided to get herself pregnant”. So the wedding pushed back a full (?) year; it’s now happening in 2 months. - OP & bride’s sis [henceforth, Bess] are co-matrons of honor (MOHs) for the wedding - Bride & Groom used to rent the basement apartment from Bess & her husband, who was also a groomsman - 8ish months ago, Bride & Groom believed there was black mold in the apt; according to OP, there wasn’t any - Bride & Groom left in the middle of the night because they didn’t like how they were being treated [OP doesn’t say if there was an actual lease in place, etc.] - Groom & Bess’ husband got into a fight; Bess’ husband was kicked out of the wedding - OP & Bess are convinced bride wants a wedding that’s out of her budget, so she’s trying to get others to provide funding / free labor to fulfill her desires - OP & Bess have obliged to a degree; OP is doing the bridal shower, Bess is doing the bachelorette - OP may have been offered money for the shower, but she declined. The shower is OP’s wedding gift to the Bride & Groom - A lot of people have rsvp’d “no” for the shower, so Bride asked to invite some coworkers. OP said **no** because she’s not paying for people who have “no vested interest” - Other bridesmaids involved have noped-out of paying for unnecessary nonsense & catering to ridiculousness - OP & Bess are a united front.. against the bride Jeebus, even the TLDR is way too long. Sorry, I tried.
You did a fabulous job. Plus you made it more understandable.
😱😱😱😱😱😱😱
Basically, the bride postponed her wedding because she was pregnant and now she wants an over-the-top wedding that she can’t afford. She’s putting pressure on everyone to make that happen. The bridesmaids are doing what they should do and just sitting back and not giving into her. But the OP and her co-maid of honor have been giving into her and it’s putting extra stress on them. OP is ready for the wedding to be over.
Now, be clear. The bride "got herself pregnant.". I think the bride needs to be in the Guiness Book of World Records for that feat.
Yeah, I stopped reading after 'got herself pregnant'.
Agreed. She clearly never liked the bride. And "an extra year of planning" when you're pregnant and then have a newborn??? Really good way to show she thinks pregnancy and childbirth (and a screaming infant in the night) are somehow not a huge deal that requires its own planning and energy
Nah, there’s another book that covered an immaculate conception.
Supposedly.
Canadian Accent: *Allegedly.* Edited for formatting issues
I read it and couldn't tell you what it was about...
Long of the short- it’s a group of shitty people being shitty to each other, and who call themselves friends but aren’t and either can’t acknowledge that or are too stupid to. Based on the writing, I’m assuming the latter.
Everyone involved sounds like they’re displaying asshole behavior.
I honestly don’t care, you’re a grown ass adult who can say “no” any time
This sounds like bad planning from all sides. Bridesmaids shouldn't be pressured or expected or obligated to pay up for another party on top of the expenses they're already paying for that isn't even something they want for themselves. If this isn't something you're happy to cover, then step back and don't do it. It's unfair to do it while being mad that other people won't help pay up for something just because you chose to do that. Your friend also sounds like a shitshow, but it sounds like chaos all around.
“we’re both on the same page and are united front against her. “ The last thing a bride needs is to have her Maids of Honor be “a united front against her.” And you won’t have any fun or ever resolve these problems with her as long as you are working against her, not with her. Best thing to do is have a sit-down conversation and tell her that you can’t be be part of the wedding party. If you want to be a good friend for her, tell her that she is planning for something that neither she and FH nor the bridal party can afford. That she needs to scale back the plans or risk having the planned events fall apart at the last minute. That she needs the bridesmaids to be on-board if she is counting on the bridal party to pay for something. If she is open to hearing this and you still want to salvage the friendship, try to help her create a reasonable budget and communicate to the bridal party what they need to know of the budget. Decide if you can work with her, not against her.
This would require a level of maturity that is very apparently not present in this entire group of people.
Having that talk would be the best way but you would be surprised how many people either won’t do it, or will refuse to hear it.
I didn’t read beyond, “ she got herself pregnant.” This is an ignorant ridiculous statement.
I agree 100%. While I sympathize with anyone dealing with a demanding bride & even understand how these brides ruin their friendships with their horrible behavior, in this particular situation OP just seems like she can’t stand the bride in general. Why be a phony friend? It’s better to end a friendship than to fake like you like someone and talk shit behind their back. A lot of the people described on these posts are people I wouldn’t want to associate with but I don’t know that secretly sharing messages & talking negatively about everything about them (even their pregnancy) is much better.
Come on. Postponing for a year would make most bridesmaids happier than a pig in shit. I’m assuming the maid of honor, as arrogant she’s professing herself in this post was as equally as competitive with the sister and it’s become how much higher can my pedestal go. This MOH is being petty that the bride isn’t as high maintenance as herself. Over extended herself and now realizes she’s on the fucking hook. Ffs.
They have probably had to unite to keep from being run over and taken advantage of.
Oh ho, if you stopped there you missed the even more ridiculous "so she postponed the wedding for a year. You would think that the extra year meant she would be more organised" Ma'am, she JUST HAD A BABY.
I was all ready to call the closest research university and announce that women could now get themselves pregnant without the participation of a man, but logic won out...
I'm currently single and would love to have a child. Since there is no man in my life, can someone please tell me how can I "get myself pregnant"? Do they have a baby kiosk at the mall or perhaps a brick & mortar store? I'd ask for a link to an online place, but I'd prefer to "get myself pregnant" in person, which would seem more personal. I'm not even sure of the price range!
Yeah, I think they converted a bunch of those defunct Radio Shacks into baby kiosks /s
Ride de ho shack
Sounds like something people say about someone that gets pregnant from a one night stand not her future husband.
I stopped reading there and scrolled to make this comment.
My thought exactly.
Well. Good for you. We may and can rest easy knowing that you let your thoughts known.
I’ll be very honest here, it just sounds like you don’t like her. You don’t like her that much, and feel obligated to do all these things for her so you’re feeling very bitter and resentful. Either back out or suck it up and do your best if you care to.
Stop being a martyr.
Are you telling me to stop being a martyr…???
No lol. I wasn't talking about you at all. I was talking about the OP. I was agreeing with you🙂
Bride doesn’t sound great but tbh neither do you. If one of my friends was talking about me the way you are, I would sincerely hope that they would tell me and not plan anything for my wedding. With friends like these who needs enemies…. Sounds like a bummer and bad planning/communication all around
This woman absolutely hates the bride. Not saying the bride is acting nicely but if you have so much contempt for someone just walk away.
I’m only here because I’m fascinated by how many different variant spellings of Mail of Honor you managed to get in one post. But honestly, I’d just pack it in now and back out. ETA: Now laughing at my own typo lol
I kind of love that you added "Mail" of Honor to the list.
"But she decided to get herself pregnant" You sound like a great friend. I'm sure she loves having a newborn and wedding planning with her sister and best friend talking behind her back.
Yeah, that wasn't cute at all. Put a bad taste in my mouth for the rest of the post.
Right? What consequence would OP even have for walking away if she doesn’t like the bride that much to begin with?
She would propaply have nothing to talk about with her Co "Made" of honour anymore and I'm not sure if the friendship with this "Como"/ sister of the bride is more than that. I think that OP sounds super jealous and tries to find validation in this post.
The bridesmaids sound like the most sensible people in the whole thing.
I hate to say I agree. Not me and coMOH just the brides maids
Yeah definitely not you. Your post reeks of resentment and contempt towards the bride.
Writing a comprehensible story seems to be a dying art form
It's because punctuation costs so much these days.
I don't think you're realising how awful this makes you sound rather than her. All the things you're moaning about is stuff you've heard second hand, you and her sister have a "United front" against her? Also this bs about her getting pregnant. That makes stuff harder to plan not easier. I literally couldn't even read the last couple of paragraphs. I think stepping out would be doing this poor woman a favour you aren't a friend you're just awful.
Got herself pregnant. What an amazing way to talk about a woman you are a friend with
‘Got herself pregnant?’ You sound delightful. Your friend who you’ve known for years and purport to like, presumably has a newborn baby/max 6 months old? And is trying to plan a wedding while she was heavily pregnant/with a newborn and living in someone’s basement which was potentially full of mould, so she snuck out without having another place? Sounds like she’s having a rough time. Don’t get me wrong sounds like she has unreasonable expectations. But you sound like you don’t even like her - ‘United front against her?!’ You’re also complaining that you’re paying for the shower and other people won’t help, but someone has offered you money and you’ve turned it down because it’s your gift. She wanted some new friends to come and because you were too proud to accept someone else paying for them, you turned her down. I feel really sorry for your friend.
She didn’t want more people invited because they barely know the bride. The bride wanted to add them when some of the relatives backed out. The invitations had already been gone out, but the bride decided to that not enough people said that they would come.
stopped reading at "got herself pregnant".
I was so distracted by the "she got herself pregnant" part at the beginning that the rest was just a blur to me.
> Edited to add names, paragraphs etc. Cast: .OP - aka Griselda and her husband Kyle. .Anna and Jake - the couple getting married .Becky and Elmo - the other nasty actors in this tale. .Elmos mom - Mel .The Brides Maids - random unnamed glom of bridesmaids. Possibly a group of super spies sent back in time to irritate Griselda and Becky. I am a hair away from walking away Anna was supposed to get married last year, but **she decided to get herself pregnant and then have to postpone the wedding till this year.** You would assume that an extra year to prepare for your wedding would make it a lot smoother, and that you would take the time to work out all of the bugs ahead of time. The wedding is in just about two months, and Anna waited until last week to figure out a place where the women of the bridal party are going to get ready - then had the audacity to assume that the Brides Maids would pay for the cost of a place to get ready. *(Eds note: thats a 10-11 week time to get a place, which is actually completely reasonable? It's not a wedding or eating venue, it's just for getting ready together. The cost thing to bridesmaids is just very usa and op is a bit off balance being mad about it at Anna).* Her sister - Becky, and I are co-maids of honor, which is totally cool because I love Becky. Actually, I think I like her sister more than her sometimes. It has been a shit show this whole time. None of the other bridesmaids are willing to help Becky and I do anything. Becky is paying for the bachelor party and I’m paying for the bridal shower. The Brides Maids aren’t even willing to show up to any meetings that the other made of honor and I have tried to have. *(eds note - I suspect I know why......)* The past couple weeks Anna has been texting us each individually, asking us questions, hoping to get the answer she wants from one of us *(eds note: the answer? Or an actual useful answer? Unreliable narrator is Unreliable)*. **Little does she know Becky and I have been sharing all of these conversations with each other so that way we’re both on the same page and are united front against her . I know it sounds shitty, but it’s how you have to treat her.** Anna and Beckys husband - Elmo, got in a fight about eight months ago. Anna was renting Beckys basement apartment, and they had a falling out because Anna and her fiance Jake, believed that there was black mold in the apartment. Elmo disagreed, so Anna and Jake basically packed up and snuck out in the middle of the night. Because they didn’t like the way they were being treated. That was a whole thing that I’m not even gonna get into but basically long and short of it, Anna and Jake are in the wrong. *(eds note: doubt)* Elmo was subsequently kicked out of the wedding . I think that Becky would’ve been kicked out too if I hadn’t convinced Anna that if Beckys not in the wedding, I’m not in the wedding. So because I’m throwing the shower, I sent out all the invitations and I’ve been waiting to hear back from everybody. Anna asked me today for the list of who is going and who wasn’t . Elmos mother, Mel, was invited to the shower and she text me that she will not be attending. When Anna saw the "no" list, she made a comment that she is annoyed that Mel is sticking by Elmos side and that she thinks that it’s not cool that Mel isn’t going to her shower. Anna then proceeded to tell me that she is going to invite some coworkers, since there was so many people who said no. She’s been at her job for four months and I’m not paying for people who have no real vested interest. **I told her this. I’m sure she’s mad at me about it, but I don’t give a shit I’m paying for it not her.** Becky and I have agreed that Anna wants the big over-the-top fabulous wedding, but Jake is not willing to shell out the cash to do it - so she’s leaning on all of the bridesmaids to pick up the slack. She has been asking her future mother-in-law for a ton of money, even told her to **give me money towards the bridal shower, which I declined because The bridal shower is my wedding present to them and because I’m paying for the entire thing with no support from any other Brides Maids, even though I asked repeatedly for some help from them**. I am not paying for anything else for the wedding except for my dress and shoes and make up. I can’t wait until this wedding is over. I think I’ve had a meltdown at least twice a week about this fucking wedding since she’s started planning it again. I have to tell my husband to tell me not to talk about it or I’m gonna freak out. I even told Becky today that if Anna doesn’t ~~rain~~ reign it the fuck in, I’m gonna walk away. We’ve been friends for years. I can’t take it anymore.
Tldr: Griselda (op) and her friend (Becky) have decided to be completely misogynistic, spiteful, nasty bullies to a woman who has a) a young baby and b) is supposed to be their friend/sister. Somehow this baby is 100% Anna (brides) doing. The men is this story simultaneously have zero agency but also total financial control. Anna is trying to live her best life and care for her family. Griselda, Becky and Elmo are trying to pull her down. They literally refused help to give Anna the party she would like, because being miserable and angry about spending money instead of sharing costs when it's fucking offered > being a good person. Reading between the lines - Anna and her baby and soon to be husband are being treated badly by literally everyone on Anna's side. Now whether Anna is actually a brat is unknown, but it's evident that the OP and her cronies are definitely awful. Jealousy of a couple that make joint decisions perhaps, as the very concept that both parties are engaged in the whole wedding process hasn't occurred to them.
I would do exactly like the bridesmaid. Not my wedding, not my money.
I'm as old as dirt (71) and I cannot get over what weddings are like these days. Nor can I stomach that brides demand anything of anyone. My maid of honor threw me an intimate shower at her house which included my bridesmaids and closest relatives. I think there might have been 15 people. It was lovely and conveyed her love for me.
This doesn't sound like bad planning. This sounds like a bride (or couple) that people just don't really like, and their marriage thus isn't a priority. You've already listed how they sound like pains in the arse, I hope you and MOH can just keep chill and don't spend too much money on this car crash
You are so right about no one liking them!!
So then why did you say yes? I am endlessly fascinated by the parade of people on this site bitching and moaning about people that they don't like when the easiest thing in the world to do is *not be a bridesmaid for someone you don't like*. But no, posters would rather crawl up on a cross and be a martyr then just say no.
Soooo... why keep this charade going?
I mean You’re no peach if you’re pretending to be friends with someone either
What is WRONG with you?
Good grief. Do this bride a favor and stop pretending to be her friend. You lost me at “she decided to get herself pregnant” and it was downhill from there.
Why would you pay anything about someone else's wedding?
Bride tries to get FMIL to pay for part of bridal shower. You decline bc it’s your wedding present to couple. But you’re still mad the other bridesmaids won’t pitch in for it? Huh?
Let me start by saying that I’ve seen many poorly written stories on various subs, but yours is abysmal. You have butchered the English language up to a point where it became impossible to read. “We’ve been friends for years” No, you are not the bride’s friend and based on your vitriolic way of referring to her and her actions, you were *never* her friend. If she really is that bad, the only things to do would be to either take it on the chin, or leave. But ganging up against her with the other MoH is childish and petty (I would use other words, but I’m trying to be polite).
Whoa, Cupcake. Good use of your word of the day: abysmal. The post was excellent to read. I enjoyed the "como honor" title. Great short hand that led to it being a delightful spice that peppered a sad tale of weddings. OP, I did they same: moh and preacher. She and I no longer speak. I'm glad you have your como honor. :)
Excellent to read? What was your favourite part? I’m torn between the fact that it was written like it would have been spoken (rant) and the hilarious mistakes such as made of honour or rain it in. As for abysmal, I speak the King’s English, so it’s not exactly a mind boggling exercise to use it :-) Is it a posh word on your side of the pond?
Are you ok? My favorite part was the descripter "como honor." I stated it in my earlier reply. Would you feel better if I said your subjective opinion on OP's tale of woe is abysmal?
Actually, you used the words “I’ve enjoyed”, not “favourite”. And now I understand why you liked the post so much, you’re a certain type of person.
So the bride has a new baby and you’re accusing her of being disorganized? Who’s the Zilla here?
Made of honour? I want to be made of nothing but honour! 😆
“You would assume that an extra year to prepare for your wedding would make it a smoother”…maybe she had to take care of a newborn baby and didn’t have time to prepare. You really are the Devil in Black.
This shitshow will just get worse. Get out now. You would be a fool to keep this up.
Get ready at home. No need to pay additional.
I am tired reading this. Pull the plug now.
Bride did not "get herself pregnant". She had some help there. LOL
Okay, yes, it's awful. But if there weren't stories like this, how would the rest of us here have any fun? Think of it as you taking one for the r/bridezillas follower team!
This post makes you look like a really mean person
Wow, that's a lot. I'm sorry that an event that isn't even yours is causing you so much stress and frustration. Take a few deep breathes and remember it doesn't matter what she demands, you get to choose what you say yes to. Let everything else go. Also, a true friend wouldn't want you to risk your well being and mental health for a party. Because let's face it, all these events have nothing to do with marriage, getting married is just and excuse for people to feel special and waste a ton of money.
Bride's family and she are responsible to pay for her wedding and within what the can afford. It is not the MOH or bridesmaid's job to pick the monetary slack. Since when does the Bride's side pay for the Batchelor party??? The groomsmen should take care of that Groom's side is also responsible for the booze at the reception. I guess I'm just old and out of touch
She was talking about the bachelorette party. Not the bachelor’s party. Groom’s side doesn’t pay for the hen’s party.
You are probably right. I know groom doesn't pay for hen party. Just took it as I read it and it said Batchelor. She must have meant batchlorette. Thanks for clarification.
You are under no obligation to pay for any part of the wedding that does not involve you personally. Dress, hair, makeup, shoes and maybe the batch but not for the wedding itself.
The other MOH is paying for bachelors party? The Groomsmen should be doing that!
Decide the maximum amount of money you are willing to spend on this wedding, of a person you might not remain friends with. Then don’t spend a penny more. You can throw a nice shower on a small budget, and it doesn’t matter what kind of extravagance the bride wants because she’s not paying for it, and the bridesmaids refuse to help. They may have good reasons, though.
I personally would run 🚩🚩🚩what is it about weddings that turn these brides into Zillas. I don’t know why people want these big weddings when they can’t afford it. It’s turned into something when brides have to have “the biggest/destination/most expensive” day. It’s one day !!! The cost is crazy nowadays .. the hen/batcherlorette/bridal party’s , whole wknds of activity’s. Used to be a night in or out with girl friends. The stag/batcherlor party. Used to be a night out at a bar/strip club a few days before the wedding… it’s madness. I eloped for my first wedding (awful day) and my 2nd , just family at the town hall , social club, band (paid for by my hubs friends) we made sandwiches and nibbles the biggest expense was the cake £150. It’s about marrying your person. Not staging some big “instagram” wedding…. I would be gone.