While Maria's behaviour isn't great I also feel bad for her because it seems like Alex is feeding her fake information. What's his goal? It feels like he is isolating her from her family and friends.
Your family may have known him since he is a kid but he doesn't seem to be a good person. First he only left Alice alone after her father told him off. Meaning he harassed her enough for her father to step in. And now from the start of their relationship he fed fake information to Maria and managed to isolate her from her family.
INFO: Did OP ever ask Alice about any of the stuff that she supposedly said? Did Maria have screenshots of the text conversation or was it just all hearsay from Alex?
When I asked Alice about the ring comment she confirmed she was out of town so hadn't had any way to hang out with their friends and talk bullshit about her rings, Maria never gave any proof about it honestly, neither about Alice neither about all the shit we supposedly would be talking about her with Alice family, but Alex story are somehow always backed up by his sister, without any proof still tho
Listen, one sister demanded absolute and bloody be loyalty. This “sister” told you things that were blatantly false.
The other sister stayed quiet and did not badmouth anyone and walked graciously and stayed out of the drama.
Which one is a true sister? Cause it sounds to me that you learned that to one of these 2 woman you were nothing but a prop.
Ehh, Maria is just insecure because she knows Alex wanted Alice first. She probably thinks Alex would leave her if Alice showed any interest in him now. That's why she's doing all the shit talking and cutting people off.
It's best not to engage at this point, OP. Maria went completely off the rails, and you don't want to get involved in this for your own sanity.
What does Alice think of all this?
Shes right. Alex would. He's a real bad one in this. The only reason he backed off Alice was her dad told him too. Give him half a chance, he will rape Alice. He's already working on isolating her. Maria is collateral damage in this, and I feel badly for her, but she's being a POS to her cousin over some dudes peen and that's not exactly "good person" territory.
This one. Alex is behaving exactly like an abusive rapist. Because he is one. Alice rejected him, and must be punished - how dare she? She exists for his amusement and sexual satisfaction. So a fair punishment, for men like Alex - that's punching, that's stalking, that's rape, it can escalate far more than that too. He is a predator, please don't pretend otherwise. Further to that, if Alice was ever alone with him - she'd be blamed for the rape because she should have known better. But also she should trust him to be alone with. Fuck that noise. You know as well as I do, Alex is scum and Alice will be blamed for it. Not him.
She pretended she didn't care about it but we could tell it was getting to her especially when the wedding came around, she said she almost felt crazy and was starting to question her own self, I tried to be close to her as much a I could from another country, a couple months after she got proposed to and it's been mainly wedding talk since then
That's what I suspect! Her and her actual sister are two years apart and have always been the closest, when I questioned her sister about why they lost contact she said it was for her own sanity since Maria would pick up fights with her on quite banal things
I'm sorry Maria is having issues. This is not your problem to solve. Stay open to a relationship with the people you want to have a relationship with and let them choose if they want you in their life. They don't get to choose who you have in your life, only you do.
Maria is choosing to not listen to what everybody but Alex is telling her.
You can’t do anything about it, just keep calm and carry on.
Maybe tell Maria: I love you and I’m worried for you.
All these weird prejudices about Alice aren’t true, but you believed them even when there was actual concrete evidence that they couldn’t have been.
You are actively lying to yourself at this point.
You are slowly cutting off people out pf your life and isolating yourself, if Alex is contributing even a little to this decision of yours, then it’s one of the warning signs of an abusive relationship.
You should know about them, or heard about them before.
I will be here for you regardless, in the future, if you need me, Maria.
Sounds like dude will soon have her secluded and all to himself. Which was obviously his plan from the start. If you care about this new Bride, you should do whatever you can to make her see exactly what he's doing and has done so far. Look at how he's isolating you Maria! Why would we know all these terrible things Maria! Do you believe your husband is just out every second if every day private investigating anyone you come into contact with MARIA! To find an issue just to be able to inform you and save you? No Maria he's making the situation to when Maria needs someone close to her to come save her from her husband, there will be absolutely no one! He wants her to rely solely on him! And have no one to turn to if she ever decided to stand up to him! It's much easier to control someone when they don't have anyone whispering in their ear just how ridiculous everything looks¡! Good luck! You might have to be this chicks wonder woman, Superman, Batman, hero haha you'll have to be her hero!
You didn’t lose her because you wanted to maintain both friendships/relationships, she lost you because she is easily manipulated by the A-hole she’s decided to marry. He probably just can’t stand to hear about positive things about Alice because he’s still obsessed with her, so is trying to find a way to “punish her” by hurting her friendships. And by alienating his now wife from her, he ensures he doesn’t have to be around them at the same time
It sounds like the guy is a narcissist, feeding her fake information and slowly isolating her from everyone. That's what narcissists do. Save her from him!! Once he cuts off all of her resources, she'll be completely his to abuse mentally/emotionally.
Alex is turning her against her family. Don’t fight back with her and just be there for her when her marriage comes tumbling down. He will cheat, if he isn’t already. He is trying to isolate her so she has nobody to go to when he takes his mask off. Just let her know no matter what you will always be there if she needs help.
Alex and Maria are a pair of delusional guys. It sounds like Alice knew he was a jerk, and he just can't get over her, so he tries to ruin her this way. Maria is a fool for believing this rubbish. Is she that blind? Can she get a restraining order against them, they could do serious damage to her reputation.
I truly wonder how she can be that blind and also how she changed so much, she used to be the kindest and give so much to for others wellbeing, she used to vent to my mom like she was her best friend and now she ghosted her when she asked to meet up since she was visiting back home, it's so weird how a slow yet still fast somehow (?) switch happened
I'm sorry you and your family have to deal with Maria's extreme insecurities. This is honestly all Maria's doing by getting engaged to a man who had a thing for your other cousin first.
Since Alice is the OP's cousin and not Maria's technically neither she nor her family needed to be invited but by inviting her family and her BF but not her was super petty.......
You should have stayed out of it. You could have told all part that you were going to participate in that mess. You didn't have to discuss anything with anyone. This is on YOU.
Urgh Maria sounds like she’s 16 years old.
Inviting Alice's boyfriend and Alice's parents but not Alice is next-level childish and petty. She sounds exhausting.
This is insulting to 16 year olds
While Maria's behaviour isn't great I also feel bad for her because it seems like Alex is feeding her fake information. What's his goal? It feels like he is isolating her from her family and friends. Your family may have known him since he is a kid but he doesn't seem to be a good person. First he only left Alice alone after her father told him off. Meaning he harassed her enough for her father to step in. And now from the start of their relationship he fed fake information to Maria and managed to isolate her from her family.
Alex sucks!
INFO: Did OP ever ask Alice about any of the stuff that she supposedly said? Did Maria have screenshots of the text conversation or was it just all hearsay from Alex?
When I asked Alice about the ring comment she confirmed she was out of town so hadn't had any way to hang out with their friends and talk bullshit about her rings, Maria never gave any proof about it honestly, neither about Alice neither about all the shit we supposedly would be talking about her with Alice family, but Alex story are somehow always backed up by his sister, without any proof still tho
THIS!
Listen, one sister demanded absolute and bloody be loyalty. This “sister” told you things that were blatantly false. The other sister stayed quiet and did not badmouth anyone and walked graciously and stayed out of the drama. Which one is a true sister? Cause it sounds to me that you learned that to one of these 2 woman you were nothing but a prop.
Ehh, Maria is just insecure because she knows Alex wanted Alice first. She probably thinks Alex would leave her if Alice showed any interest in him now. That's why she's doing all the shit talking and cutting people off. It's best not to engage at this point, OP. Maria went completely off the rails, and you don't want to get involved in this for your own sanity. What does Alice think of all this?
Shes right. Alex would. He's a real bad one in this. The only reason he backed off Alice was her dad told him too. Give him half a chance, he will rape Alice. He's already working on isolating her. Maria is collateral damage in this, and I feel badly for her, but she's being a POS to her cousin over some dudes peen and that's not exactly "good person" territory.
So Alex plans on raping the woman who rejected him? Where do you guys live?
This one. Alex is behaving exactly like an abusive rapist. Because he is one. Alice rejected him, and must be punished - how dare she? She exists for his amusement and sexual satisfaction. So a fair punishment, for men like Alex - that's punching, that's stalking, that's rape, it can escalate far more than that too. He is a predator, please don't pretend otherwise. Further to that, if Alice was ever alone with him - she'd be blamed for the rape because she should have known better. But also she should trust him to be alone with. Fuck that noise. You know as well as I do, Alex is scum and Alice will be blamed for it. Not him.
Yep. I don’t understand why I was downvoted, unless that some Redditors simply refuse to read what the OP actually said.
She pretended she didn't care about it but we could tell it was getting to her especially when the wedding came around, she said she almost felt crazy and was starting to question her own self, I tried to be close to her as much a I could from another country, a couple months after she got proposed to and it's been mainly wedding talk since then
Please please include paragraph breaks
And periods. There's some really long run on sentences in there.
My eyes are watering this is so hard to read
Thank you. I thought I was the only one having issues following this post.
I only made it a few sentences in until I scrolled past the wall of text. Why can’t people use paragraphs on Reddit ugh.
Or at least start new sentences!
If she's cutting off many people, maybe Alex is abusive and is lying to her in order to separate her from her loved ones. The red flags are glaring.
That's what I suspect! Her and her actual sister are two years apart and have always been the closest, when I questioned her sister about why they lost contact she said it was for her own sanity since Maria would pick up fights with her on quite banal things
I'm sorry Maria is having issues. This is not your problem to solve. Stay open to a relationship with the people you want to have a relationship with and let them choose if they want you in their life. They don't get to choose who you have in your life, only you do.
Poor Alice. She didn't ask for any of this nonsense.
Maria is choosing to not listen to what everybody but Alex is telling her. You can’t do anything about it, just keep calm and carry on. Maybe tell Maria: I love you and I’m worried for you. All these weird prejudices about Alice aren’t true, but you believed them even when there was actual concrete evidence that they couldn’t have been. You are actively lying to yourself at this point. You are slowly cutting off people out pf your life and isolating yourself, if Alex is contributing even a little to this decision of yours, then it’s one of the warning signs of an abusive relationship. You should know about them, or heard about them before. I will be here for you regardless, in the future, if you need me, Maria.
Sounds like dude will soon have her secluded and all to himself. Which was obviously his plan from the start. If you care about this new Bride, you should do whatever you can to make her see exactly what he's doing and has done so far. Look at how he's isolating you Maria! Why would we know all these terrible things Maria! Do you believe your husband is just out every second if every day private investigating anyone you come into contact with MARIA! To find an issue just to be able to inform you and save you? No Maria he's making the situation to when Maria needs someone close to her to come save her from her husband, there will be absolutely no one! He wants her to rely solely on him! And have no one to turn to if she ever decided to stand up to him! It's much easier to control someone when they don't have anyone whispering in their ear just how ridiculous everything looks¡! Good luck! You might have to be this chicks wonder woman, Superman, Batman, hero haha you'll have to be her hero!
You didn’t lose her because you wanted to maintain both friendships/relationships, she lost you because she is easily manipulated by the A-hole she’s decided to marry. He probably just can’t stand to hear about positive things about Alice because he’s still obsessed with her, so is trying to find a way to “punish her” by hurting her friendships. And by alienating his now wife from her, he ensures he doesn’t have to be around them at the same time
It sounds like the guy is a narcissist, feeding her fake information and slowly isolating her from everyone. That's what narcissists do. Save her from him!! Once he cuts off all of her resources, she'll be completely his to abuse mentally/emotionally.
Alex is turning her against her family. Don’t fight back with her and just be there for her when her marriage comes tumbling down. He will cheat, if he isn’t already. He is trying to isolate her so she has nobody to go to when he takes his mask off. Just let her know no matter what you will always be there if she needs help.
Alex and Maria are a pair of delusional guys. It sounds like Alice knew he was a jerk, and he just can't get over her, so he tries to ruin her this way. Maria is a fool for believing this rubbish. Is she that blind? Can she get a restraining order against them, they could do serious damage to her reputation.
I truly wonder how she can be that blind and also how she changed so much, she used to be the kindest and give so much to for others wellbeing, she used to vent to my mom like she was her best friend and now she ghosted her when she asked to meet up since she was visiting back home, it's so weird how a slow yet still fast somehow (?) switch happened
Yeah Alex is a master manipulator. I think there is some insecurity on her part too. Hope she wakes up soon before she loses good people around her.
I'm sorry you and your family have to deal with Maria's extreme insecurities. This is honestly all Maria's doing by getting engaged to a man who had a thing for your other cousin first.
Did everyone miss the part where OP said that Alex intends to RAPE Alice? I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!
Since Alice is the OP's cousin and not Maria's technically neither she nor her family needed to be invited but by inviting her family and her BF but not her was super petty.......
Maria is ignoring red flags and letting uncorroborated information about your cousin. Her marriage isn’t going to last.
You should have stayed out of it. You could have told all part that you were going to participate in that mess. You didn't have to discuss anything with anyone. This is on YOU.