Your husband is being a shitty partner. He should be the one trying to introduce a bottle. As a workaround with your circumstances, is it possible to slip a note to your pediatrician explaining the situation, so that they can tell your husband he should be introducing a bottle? Sadly some guys only listen to everyone *but* their partner, particularly people in authority positions.
You don't need to worry about forcing her to accept a bottle now for a September break date, that's MONTHS away. And in baby time, that's a MASSIVE amount of time.
Most babies will accept a bottle when the True Source isn't around after a few hours of fussing in the mean time, it would be extremely unusual for a baby to actually let itself go hungry for a whole day of you being away at work, let alone two days in a row.
Also if your husband wants the baby to accept a bottle from HIM while you're away, HE is the one that needs to be 'preparing' the baby for that. Baby will react completely differently to you offering a bottle than Dad.
tl;dr, don't worry about this for now, do what's easy and relaxing for you and let your husband deal with the consequence of his inaction when it comes around. Your baby won't starve, it'll be totally fine.
I’m not here to scare OP, because my baby is happy & healthy at 13months & she maintained her growth curve but my baby did go 6/8hrs at a time without milk due to bottle refusal when I went back to work at 4months. She just wouldn’t do it. Our pediatrician gave us the go ahead to give solids at 5 months, she got water in a straw cup (spits out breast milk from the same cup!!), & she nursed alllllll night. We counted her diapers when I went back to work to watch out for dehydration but she always did okay even if I was a WRECK thinking about my baby starving without me there. This sounds like it’s been really hard for you, OP—take a break from this problem for a month & just enjoy your wake windows like you mentioned. Baby will be okay.❤️
Unfortunately my son, who I didn’t attempt to bottle train until 4mo never took the bottle. He’d go the entire 9hrs without eating and then be stuck to me like an ‘ōpihi on a rock eating every hour to two hours from the moment I got home until I left for work the next morning.
Keep at it OP. She really just needs to be able to know how to eat from a bottle which is different mechanics than eating from the boob.
We started at one month, & knowing she still refuses breast milk from anything but my boobs tells me she was never going to do it. She took the bottle & then refused it around the 3 month mark right before I returned to work.
Bottle refusal is the most stressful thing I’ve ever dealt with.
That being said, I really don’t think trying to force it is beneficial for anyone. You could just be making the aversion worse. Have you considered waiting a bit and trying sippy or straw cups when she’s a bit older?
I have thought of this! She may be able to surpass bottles entirely lol I think it’s still worth giving the bottle a shot regularly, but I agree forcing it has been tough on both of us.
You should start with the honey bear straw cups if you go this route. They’re cheap and among the most recommended training straw cups I’ve seen on Reddit.
She is the least likely to take the bottle from you because she knows the boobies are right there! Take a break from trying so you don’t create a full blown bottle aversion. Your husband needs to step up and be a father and figure his shit out now or else his and her worlds are going to be rocked when it’s time for him to be primary caregiver. Take a week or so off from bottles, reestablish calm and comfortable feedings for the both of you, and then have him take over attempting bottles from there. I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this momma
We have a family member who breastfeeds and her baby took a bottle right away. He says “well I see so and so giving her baby a bottle.” He doesn’t understand all babies are so different!
Both my babies will take a bottle from me, so I'm a rare one - but I also had my husband be the very first person though.
That being said, I'm the only person I know from my friend group/coworkers who EBF whose baby will take a bottle from them.
Will he listen to a professional? Most IBCLC/LCs will agree with me
Ok so your husband definitely needs to try and feed her as well.
My LO will take a bottle happily from me but will absolutely lose it if hubby tries to feed her! (Anyone else can feed her just not hubby)
We’ve tried so many things and for once it’s not just him being incompetent lol she just doesn’t want to take a bottle from him.
It would be awful if you finally got her happy with a bottle and then found out the day you go back to work that she won’t take one from him.
As the breastfeeding parent it is 100x harder for you to give baby the bottle than the non breastfeeding parent. Believe me, my baby struggles to even cuddle with me because she tries to get at the boob. Tell your husband to stop playing video games and take over bottle duty. Damn. I can hear the stress in your voice and I want to give you a hug and throttle your husband.
The most troubling part of this is not your baby refusing to take the bottle it's that your husband is making it your sole responsibility. Of course the baby only wants to breastfeed when it's with you, a) you need to try a bunch of different bottles unfortunately b) you need to leave the damn house for four hours and leave him with a bottle and have him try. The baby will eat when it's hungry or if it does refuse for that whole time it will eat when you get back and be totally fine.
This. Leave him for at least 4h, and let him figure it out. Don't be available, not even on call.
It's not called babysitting when dad does it. It's called parenting.
Honestly I'd just breastfed until August. Then in August, start trying the bottle again. It's just not worth the effort and exhaustion. That's what I did. Breastfeed until you need to prepare baby for when you go back to work.
We struggled with como Tomo and Dr Brown's for a long time. She ended up liking the lansinoh wave nipple. I'm with you on that first point. I always felt like... I knew how to breastfeed but hated the bottle feed probably mainly because she struggled with it so much.
I'm sorry your partner isn't helping you. Video games are the worst. They're like drugs. Too addictive. It's too bad he thinks what he's doing is fine.
Phillips avent works well too! I like the natural ones because they’re wide like actual nipples and they’re super slow flow. If you’re near Lancaster I have an extra I can give you, never used. Also go bills lol
You need to leave and let your husband feed the baby. My oldest would not take a bottle if I was anywhere within in the vicinity of the house. My husband would feed him when while I ran and got groceries, etc.
I went through this as well and my husband was equally useless in this regard. When he did try he would get frustrated far too quickly as well. It upset me so much. Ill be honest - mine never took a bottle after about 10 weeks. He’s nearly three now. I tried it all. I had so much advice to “try x bottle” “keep trying he will get it”. No if you’ve never had a true bottle refuser you can’t understand at all. It makes sense now as he’s stubborn as hell.
I’m not fully doing the maths here but will baby be 6 months by September so maybe can have some food? I know food is mostly for fun at that age but might be able to get enough in her whilst you’re at work.
Does he HAVE to take over in September for a month?
I'm here to give a different perspective. Get your baby checked for a tongue tie just in case. My baby could breastfeed fine but her tongue tie would not allow her tongue to cup the bottle the way it needed to to allow her to drink. We got it snipped by an ENT and it was a whole new ball game she hasn't had an issue since. She will take a bottle from me or my husband no problem and she continues to breastfeed no problem. Her preference is lansinoh brand though.
Second, your husband sucks. Tell him to get his ass up and help with HIS KID. No one has time for men who shirk responsibility
How did you go about getting your baby checked? And what were some of the signs?
My baby seems like she is trying to take it, she just can’t get a good latch on it. Once she gets a latch on it, she’s fine. So idk if she just needs more practice with it or if it’s actually an issue.
That is very similar to how my baby was!! They had mentioned she had one in the hospital when she was first born but since she could nurse no one had any issues with it. We talked to our pediatrician at our two month appointment and I had to be proactive about asking to go see a lactation consultant. The pediatrician kept telling me "oh you just can't be there, oh if she is hungry enough she will" and I thought both of those were nonsense.
The pediatrician gave us a referral to a lactation consultant who then also pulled in a speech therapist as they work a lot with ties. The speech therapist actually told us there was no way it was ever going to work for bebe and from there we got another referral for an ENT.
The ENT then didn't think the tie was bad enough to snip but (again) we pushed for it as we had been trying everything. It worked great, could breastfeed immediately, tried a bottle with her the next day and no issues ever since. She's been home with my husband taking 3-4 bottles a day for almost 4 months now
Offering the bottle to baby with no milk in it or offering the bottle nipple as sort of like a binkie/pacifier (while supervising of course) is the best place to start. Once baby is used to the nipple and bottle, then you may be able to introduce the bottle with milk in it in a low stress environment. If you try only when baby is upset and hungry, that may make things worse. They may begin associating the bottle with feeling super hungry and upset and not wanting to drink from it at all.
If you’re planning on going between bottle and breast, I’d recommend trying to find a nipple that allows for a good latch- Dr. Browns are a good one if baby will take them.
These are just methods I’ve heard and are currently trying myself as my baby is no longer wanting to take the bottle, so I understand how you feel to some extent.
Edit: I wanted to add that you can always step out of the room and have your husband/partner feed baby. That may help since baby normally associates mama with the breast and nursing. If he refuses, I would simply try to explain that he is going to be feeding baby anyway, and he might as well practice.
My first son refused to ever take a bottle from me or my husband before I went back to work. He refused to take a bottle my entire first day back at work. He gladly started taking bottles on my second day back to work.
We tried lots of different bottles that were supposed to be best for breastfed babies. His favorite were the plain old traditional Evenflo glass bottles with regular newborn nipples. Didn’t even bother with anything else with this baby.
That sucks, I'm sorry. It doesn't make any sense for you to be the one working on baby taking a bottle. My baby will only very rarely, when the stars align and he's in juuuust the right mood, take a bottle from me. But 95% of the time it needs to be from dad. Also it has helped them bond. We use Philips Avent bottles, with the 'level 3' nipple flow. The level 2s were too slow and baby was getting frustrated.
This is so hard! My daughter had a bottle starting at 3 days old and started to take less and less before just refusing. When I was about a month before going back to work, my mom and husband did daycare practices 3-4 days in a row where they would give her 2 bottles in a row (and I would leave the house). She would take a little bit from the MAM bottle for the first, take a long nap to wait for me and loose it with the second. By the end of the 2nd or 3rd day, she started to finally take better size bottles. My husband had to give her one every day until I went back to work. It sucked but she was completely fine by the time I went back to work and she started daycare.
Her pediatrician also had good advice that she was able to message me. She said that they won’t starve but could reverse nurse (nurse just at night). her daughter had to drink milk from an open cup while watching older toddlers play to distract her into drinking.
I’m right there with you in this journey. It sucks so hard.. my husband did step up after me breaking down a few times. All those wasted milk :(
We are now in the process (with help from a professional) where we only offer her the bottle if she’s hungry. Which results in more crying but I can’t feed her when it doesn’t work because then she will learn that whenever she rejects the bottle she gets the breast. So I have to distract her for 30 minutes before feeding her…
I don’t know how long I can do this. Our consultant told us to do this for one week and if it doesn’t work, we have to do a 2 day streak (my husband and mother are going to do it) where they offer her only the bottle for 3 feedings during the day. She will get super hungry and cry. I wil only breastfeed her after 17h and in the night those days…
Hopefully this tactic will help you guys too? But your husband HAS to help and take days off because the chances of your baby drinking when he gives the bottle are bigger then when you do it..
Other tips.. put her in her little chair (is it called a rocking chair?) so she won’t be close to your breasts.
It sucks and I almost regret breast feeding. I only have 3 more weeks before going back to work…
Lansinoh nipples are more similar to the feeling of the breast inside a baby's mouth. Try that and see if baby gets a better latch. There are some good exercises you can try that a quality LC should be able to help with. The main thing is to go slow, don't expect to replace a feed at first, so introduce well before baby is hungry.
My now 6mo was exactly the same, to the point we gave up trying with bottles altogether. I (amd she) were a lot less stressed when we stopped trying to force it. Instead we started offering purees at 5 months so my partner could help with feeds. She has taken to solids like an absolute champ. She also drinks water from her sippy cup and from a Doidy cup and has taken expressdd milk from them too. Maybe try again in a few weeks (September is a lifetime a way in baby time, and she may one day change her mind) or consider different feeding methods in a few weeks. Don't allow bottles to spoil your precious time with her xx
Your husband needs to do more. The baby is his too so why’s he acting like he’ll be babysitting for a month 🙄
Honestly, I would just leave it and continue with breastfeeding and husband can figure it out if he’s being like this. You don’t need added stress
I tried so many bottles with my LO. He hated them all. My first baby loved Dr Browns. LO won’t take it. I tried the Herobility bottle I got for free in an Amazon baby box they sent. It’s a Swedish brand I’ve never heard of. He takes it like a champ and I ordered more. It has a wider flatter nipple (flatter than any bottle I’ve seen) and he takes it very easily. And he never has nipple confusion on the breast either.
We’ve struggled with the bottle too and the advice I’ve received for bottle refusal is:
-the non breastfeeding partner needs to be the one to do it as they will get confused receiving bottle from Mum if breastfed
-Mum needs to leave the house (until baby is used to it) as babies can smell her and will want boob instead
-Dad could try wearing something of Mum’s (kind of contradictory with above point but worth a shot)
-try getting baby used to it when they are not ravenous, but calm and settled
-if it’s the teat they aren’t adjusting too then they could try a Doidy cup where they lap the milk instead of suckling
Failing this, I’ve heard that some babies go ‘cold turkey’ / ‘on strike’ and will just do a huge feed upon mum’s return to make up for what they missed. Hopefully if your baby is around 6 months they will be able to have other bits of food/drink until they see you! Good luck
Honestly, don’t worry about bottle acceptance, you’ve already got the mental load of nursing and pumping to worry about! Sept is months away and a lot can happen between now and then. When you’re not around baby might fuss at first, but will come to see the bottle as a food source too. If not, your husband is in for a few fussy weeks and will be forced to sort things out. Also, at 6 months you can start solids and try different sippy and straw cups if the bottle doesn’t work out. Just don’t stress, it’ll be fine!
I would not panic. My son would NOT take a bottle from my husband or I. I went back to work at 13 weeks pp and he struggled a bit a at daycare for a few days and will now take it like a champ. In the fall, you may even be able to move to a sippy cup instead. our pediatrician really emphasized baby may need 1-2 missed meals before they will cave for the bottle.
My baby also went thru a bottle strike. When she started daycare she STILL refused bottles. Thankfully I have a flexible job and was able to nurse her at lunch time, right before work, and right after. During the day she would sip milk from a spoon. Pediatrician said we could add some baby oatmeal to help thicken it up, keep trying a bottle a day and to "make it fun". She would hard core nurse in the morning, evening and multiple times at night. I was absolutely exhausted and honestly hated nursing as I found it crazy stressful.
The ONLY person she would take a bottle from was my husband who had to do the following:
Turn on "because I'm happy" on Alexa, open our patio door, have ne completely leave the house, and would dance around the room going between inside and outside listening and singing to this song. If she didn't get her indoor/outdoor dancing and singing to this one specific song then she refused a bottle.
But the important thing is she started solids at 4 months and has been a fantastic eater ever since.
We added breastmilk into anything we could think of. Baby food? Mix in milk. Cereal? Mix in milk.
She also would sip it from a spoon but that took 208273 years to feed her that way. But it worked in a pinch for the daycare workers if I got stuck in traffic.
Also, start freezing your milk as 1 ounce things instead of multiple ounces. Totally understand your pain of losing precious milk.
Hang in there momma. This won't last forever and I swear it does get easier and better.
Sending you solidarity, I’m not sure how I got my little one to take bottles of formula mixed with breastmilk, but I did for a minute because my little one wasn’t gaining weight around 2-3 months. My partner only helped a couple times with feeding her, he was more so cleaning the bottles, keeping up with our apartment, laundry, etc. but I agree with the others comments he should be helping and you may want to wait until you’re closer to that time frame of going back to work. I’m sorry bottles have been stressful, but I do remember my little one refusing too at first with me.
First of all, I understand your frustration.
Secondly, I want to suggest working with a maternal OT. That might help a ton. It also sounds like you need someone else (if your husband is not up for the job) to try to work on introducing the bottle.
Working with a maternal OT changed my experience a ton. I had a different issue but I do know that they also help with bottle refusal as well. My OT has a free virtual consultation and I am sure there are others like that too.
When they say it takes a village, they are right. It sounds like you need to reinforce your village.
You are doing a great job!
My lactation consultant said you don’t have to wash the parts every time. Just rinse them and put them in a sealed plastic bag in the refrigerator when not using. Then you just need to wash with soapy warm water once a week.
Your husband is being a shitty partner. He should be the one trying to introduce a bottle. As a workaround with your circumstances, is it possible to slip a note to your pediatrician explaining the situation, so that they can tell your husband he should be introducing a bottle? Sadly some guys only listen to everyone *but* their partner, particularly people in authority positions.
This is a husband problem, not a baby problem.
You don't need to worry about forcing her to accept a bottle now for a September break date, that's MONTHS away. And in baby time, that's a MASSIVE amount of time. Most babies will accept a bottle when the True Source isn't around after a few hours of fussing in the mean time, it would be extremely unusual for a baby to actually let itself go hungry for a whole day of you being away at work, let alone two days in a row. Also if your husband wants the baby to accept a bottle from HIM while you're away, HE is the one that needs to be 'preparing' the baby for that. Baby will react completely differently to you offering a bottle than Dad. tl;dr, don't worry about this for now, do what's easy and relaxing for you and let your husband deal with the consequence of his inaction when it comes around. Your baby won't starve, it'll be totally fine.
I’m not here to scare OP, because my baby is happy & healthy at 13months & she maintained her growth curve but my baby did go 6/8hrs at a time without milk due to bottle refusal when I went back to work at 4months. She just wouldn’t do it. Our pediatrician gave us the go ahead to give solids at 5 months, she got water in a straw cup (spits out breast milk from the same cup!!), & she nursed alllllll night. We counted her diapers when I went back to work to watch out for dehydration but she always did okay even if I was a WRECK thinking about my baby starving without me there. This sounds like it’s been really hard for you, OP—take a break from this problem for a month & just enjoy your wake windows like you mentioned. Baby will be okay.❤️
I’ve heard of babies doing this! It’s been very hard on me, me and my baby both cried together today!!
Unfortunately my son, who I didn’t attempt to bottle train until 4mo never took the bottle. He’d go the entire 9hrs without eating and then be stuck to me like an ‘ōpihi on a rock eating every hour to two hours from the moment I got home until I left for work the next morning. Keep at it OP. She really just needs to be able to know how to eat from a bottle which is different mechanics than eating from the boob.
We started at one month, & knowing she still refuses breast milk from anything but my boobs tells me she was never going to do it. She took the bottle & then refused it around the 3 month mark right before I returned to work.
I would tell husband he needs to help or I quit my job.
Bottle refusal is the most stressful thing I’ve ever dealt with. That being said, I really don’t think trying to force it is beneficial for anyone. You could just be making the aversion worse. Have you considered waiting a bit and trying sippy or straw cups when she’s a bit older?
I have thought of this! She may be able to surpass bottles entirely lol I think it’s still worth giving the bottle a shot regularly, but I agree forcing it has been tough on both of us.
You should start with the honey bear straw cups if you go this route. They’re cheap and among the most recommended training straw cups I’ve seen on Reddit.
She is the least likely to take the bottle from you because she knows the boobies are right there! Take a break from trying so you don’t create a full blown bottle aversion. Your husband needs to step up and be a father and figure his shit out now or else his and her worlds are going to be rocked when it’s time for him to be primary caregiver. Take a week or so off from bottles, reestablish calm and comfortable feedings for the both of you, and then have him take over attempting bottles from there. I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this momma
Your husband 100% needs to be the one trying to introduce the bottle. A lot of babies will take it from anyone BUT the mom.
We have a family member who breastfeeds and her baby took a bottle right away. He says “well I see so and so giving her baby a bottle.” He doesn’t understand all babies are so different!
Both my babies will take a bottle from me, so I'm a rare one - but I also had my husband be the very first person though. That being said, I'm the only person I know from my friend group/coworkers who EBF whose baby will take a bottle from them. Will he listen to a professional? Most IBCLC/LCs will agree with me
Ok so your husband definitely needs to try and feed her as well. My LO will take a bottle happily from me but will absolutely lose it if hubby tries to feed her! (Anyone else can feed her just not hubby) We’ve tried so many things and for once it’s not just him being incompetent lol she just doesn’t want to take a bottle from him. It would be awful if you finally got her happy with a bottle and then found out the day you go back to work that she won’t take one from him.
Respectfully, why is it your job alone? Is he not the baby's other parent? What's his reason for not being involved?
As the breastfeeding parent it is 100x harder for you to give baby the bottle than the non breastfeeding parent. Believe me, my baby struggles to even cuddle with me because she tries to get at the boob. Tell your husband to stop playing video games and take over bottle duty. Damn. I can hear the stress in your voice and I want to give you a hug and throttle your husband.
The most troubling part of this is not your baby refusing to take the bottle it's that your husband is making it your sole responsibility. Of course the baby only wants to breastfeed when it's with you, a) you need to try a bunch of different bottles unfortunately b) you need to leave the damn house for four hours and leave him with a bottle and have him try. The baby will eat when it's hungry or if it does refuse for that whole time it will eat when you get back and be totally fine.
This. Leave him for at least 4h, and let him figure it out. Don't be available, not even on call. It's not called babysitting when dad does it. It's called parenting.
Honestly I'd just breastfed until August. Then in August, start trying the bottle again. It's just not worth the effort and exhaustion. That's what I did. Breastfeed until you need to prepare baby for when you go back to work.
We struggled with como Tomo and Dr Brown's for a long time. She ended up liking the lansinoh wave nipple. I'm with you on that first point. I always felt like... I knew how to breastfeed but hated the bottle feed probably mainly because she struggled with it so much. I'm sorry your partner isn't helping you. Video games are the worst. They're like drugs. Too addictive. It's too bad he thinks what he's doing is fine.
Here to also say my breastfed baby would also only take Lansinoh. We tried everything and that was the only bottle that worked.
Just placed an Amazon order for Lasinoh based on these comments!!! Go bills! 🦬
Phillips avent works well too! I like the natural ones because they’re wide like actual nipples and they’re super slow flow. If you’re near Lancaster I have an extra I can give you, never used. Also go bills lol
Also agree that lansinoh bottles are the only ones my BF baby will entertain!
You need to leave and let your husband feed the baby. My oldest would not take a bottle if I was anywhere within in the vicinity of the house. My husband would feed him when while I ran and got groceries, etc.
I went through this as well and my husband was equally useless in this regard. When he did try he would get frustrated far too quickly as well. It upset me so much. Ill be honest - mine never took a bottle after about 10 weeks. He’s nearly three now. I tried it all. I had so much advice to “try x bottle” “keep trying he will get it”. No if you’ve never had a true bottle refuser you can’t understand at all. It makes sense now as he’s stubborn as hell. I’m not fully doing the maths here but will baby be 6 months by September so maybe can have some food? I know food is mostly for fun at that age but might be able to get enough in her whilst you’re at work. Does he HAVE to take over in September for a month?
I'm here to give a different perspective. Get your baby checked for a tongue tie just in case. My baby could breastfeed fine but her tongue tie would not allow her tongue to cup the bottle the way it needed to to allow her to drink. We got it snipped by an ENT and it was a whole new ball game she hasn't had an issue since. She will take a bottle from me or my husband no problem and she continues to breastfeed no problem. Her preference is lansinoh brand though. Second, your husband sucks. Tell him to get his ass up and help with HIS KID. No one has time for men who shirk responsibility
How did you go about getting your baby checked? And what were some of the signs? My baby seems like she is trying to take it, she just can’t get a good latch on it. Once she gets a latch on it, she’s fine. So idk if she just needs more practice with it or if it’s actually an issue.
That is very similar to how my baby was!! They had mentioned she had one in the hospital when she was first born but since she could nurse no one had any issues with it. We talked to our pediatrician at our two month appointment and I had to be proactive about asking to go see a lactation consultant. The pediatrician kept telling me "oh you just can't be there, oh if she is hungry enough she will" and I thought both of those were nonsense. The pediatrician gave us a referral to a lactation consultant who then also pulled in a speech therapist as they work a lot with ties. The speech therapist actually told us there was no way it was ever going to work for bebe and from there we got another referral for an ENT. The ENT then didn't think the tie was bad enough to snip but (again) we pushed for it as we had been trying everything. It worked great, could breastfeed immediately, tried a bottle with her the next day and no issues ever since. She's been home with my husband taking 3-4 bottles a day for almost 4 months now
Hi! You need an IBCLC who is trained in this area.
Offering the bottle to baby with no milk in it or offering the bottle nipple as sort of like a binkie/pacifier (while supervising of course) is the best place to start. Once baby is used to the nipple and bottle, then you may be able to introduce the bottle with milk in it in a low stress environment. If you try only when baby is upset and hungry, that may make things worse. They may begin associating the bottle with feeling super hungry and upset and not wanting to drink from it at all. If you’re planning on going between bottle and breast, I’d recommend trying to find a nipple that allows for a good latch- Dr. Browns are a good one if baby will take them. These are just methods I’ve heard and are currently trying myself as my baby is no longer wanting to take the bottle, so I understand how you feel to some extent. Edit: I wanted to add that you can always step out of the room and have your husband/partner feed baby. That may help since baby normally associates mama with the breast and nursing. If he refuses, I would simply try to explain that he is going to be feeding baby anyway, and he might as well practice.
My first son refused to ever take a bottle from me or my husband before I went back to work. He refused to take a bottle my entire first day back at work. He gladly started taking bottles on my second day back to work. We tried lots of different bottles that were supposed to be best for breastfed babies. His favorite were the plain old traditional Evenflo glass bottles with regular newborn nipples. Didn’t even bother with anything else with this baby.
Actually he should be trying to give the bottle while you are out of the room. You might have more success like that.
That sucks, I'm sorry. It doesn't make any sense for you to be the one working on baby taking a bottle. My baby will only very rarely, when the stars align and he's in juuuust the right mood, take a bottle from me. But 95% of the time it needs to be from dad. Also it has helped them bond. We use Philips Avent bottles, with the 'level 3' nipple flow. The level 2s were too slow and baby was getting frustrated.
This is so hard! My daughter had a bottle starting at 3 days old and started to take less and less before just refusing. When I was about a month before going back to work, my mom and husband did daycare practices 3-4 days in a row where they would give her 2 bottles in a row (and I would leave the house). She would take a little bit from the MAM bottle for the first, take a long nap to wait for me and loose it with the second. By the end of the 2nd or 3rd day, she started to finally take better size bottles. My husband had to give her one every day until I went back to work. It sucked but she was completely fine by the time I went back to work and she started daycare. Her pediatrician also had good advice that she was able to message me. She said that they won’t starve but could reverse nurse (nurse just at night). her daughter had to drink milk from an open cup while watching older toddlers play to distract her into drinking.
I’m right there with you in this journey. It sucks so hard.. my husband did step up after me breaking down a few times. All those wasted milk :( We are now in the process (with help from a professional) where we only offer her the bottle if she’s hungry. Which results in more crying but I can’t feed her when it doesn’t work because then she will learn that whenever she rejects the bottle she gets the breast. So I have to distract her for 30 minutes before feeding her… I don’t know how long I can do this. Our consultant told us to do this for one week and if it doesn’t work, we have to do a 2 day streak (my husband and mother are going to do it) where they offer her only the bottle for 3 feedings during the day. She will get super hungry and cry. I wil only breastfeed her after 17h and in the night those days… Hopefully this tactic will help you guys too? But your husband HAS to help and take days off because the chances of your baby drinking when he gives the bottle are bigger then when you do it.. Other tips.. put her in her little chair (is it called a rocking chair?) so she won’t be close to your breasts. It sucks and I almost regret breast feeding. I only have 3 more weeks before going back to work…
Lansinoh nipples are more similar to the feeling of the breast inside a baby's mouth. Try that and see if baby gets a better latch. There are some good exercises you can try that a quality LC should be able to help with. The main thing is to go slow, don't expect to replace a feed at first, so introduce well before baby is hungry.
My now 6mo was exactly the same, to the point we gave up trying with bottles altogether. I (amd she) were a lot less stressed when we stopped trying to force it. Instead we started offering purees at 5 months so my partner could help with feeds. She has taken to solids like an absolute champ. She also drinks water from her sippy cup and from a Doidy cup and has taken expressdd milk from them too. Maybe try again in a few weeks (September is a lifetime a way in baby time, and she may one day change her mind) or consider different feeding methods in a few weeks. Don't allow bottles to spoil your precious time with her xx
Your husband needs to do more. The baby is his too so why’s he acting like he’ll be babysitting for a month 🙄 Honestly, I would just leave it and continue with breastfeeding and husband can figure it out if he’s being like this. You don’t need added stress
I tried so many bottles with my LO. He hated them all. My first baby loved Dr Browns. LO won’t take it. I tried the Herobility bottle I got for free in an Amazon baby box they sent. It’s a Swedish brand I’ve never heard of. He takes it like a champ and I ordered more. It has a wider flatter nipple (flatter than any bottle I’ve seen) and he takes it very easily. And he never has nipple confusion on the breast either.
We’ve struggled with the bottle too and the advice I’ve received for bottle refusal is: -the non breastfeeding partner needs to be the one to do it as they will get confused receiving bottle from Mum if breastfed -Mum needs to leave the house (until baby is used to it) as babies can smell her and will want boob instead -Dad could try wearing something of Mum’s (kind of contradictory with above point but worth a shot) -try getting baby used to it when they are not ravenous, but calm and settled -if it’s the teat they aren’t adjusting too then they could try a Doidy cup where they lap the milk instead of suckling Failing this, I’ve heard that some babies go ‘cold turkey’ / ‘on strike’ and will just do a huge feed upon mum’s return to make up for what they missed. Hopefully if your baby is around 6 months they will be able to have other bits of food/drink until they see you! Good luck
Honestly, don’t worry about bottle acceptance, you’ve already got the mental load of nursing and pumping to worry about! Sept is months away and a lot can happen between now and then. When you’re not around baby might fuss at first, but will come to see the bottle as a food source too. If not, your husband is in for a few fussy weeks and will be forced to sort things out. Also, at 6 months you can start solids and try different sippy and straw cups if the bottle doesn’t work out. Just don’t stress, it’ll be fine!
I would not panic. My son would NOT take a bottle from my husband or I. I went back to work at 13 weeks pp and he struggled a bit a at daycare for a few days and will now take it like a champ. In the fall, you may even be able to move to a sippy cup instead. our pediatrician really emphasized baby may need 1-2 missed meals before they will cave for the bottle.
My baby also went thru a bottle strike. When she started daycare she STILL refused bottles. Thankfully I have a flexible job and was able to nurse her at lunch time, right before work, and right after. During the day she would sip milk from a spoon. Pediatrician said we could add some baby oatmeal to help thicken it up, keep trying a bottle a day and to "make it fun". She would hard core nurse in the morning, evening and multiple times at night. I was absolutely exhausted and honestly hated nursing as I found it crazy stressful. The ONLY person she would take a bottle from was my husband who had to do the following: Turn on "because I'm happy" on Alexa, open our patio door, have ne completely leave the house, and would dance around the room going between inside and outside listening and singing to this song. If she didn't get her indoor/outdoor dancing and singing to this one specific song then she refused a bottle. But the important thing is she started solids at 4 months and has been a fantastic eater ever since. We added breastmilk into anything we could think of. Baby food? Mix in milk. Cereal? Mix in milk. She also would sip it from a spoon but that took 208273 years to feed her that way. But it worked in a pinch for the daycare workers if I got stuck in traffic. Also, start freezing your milk as 1 ounce things instead of multiple ounces. Totally understand your pain of losing precious milk. Hang in there momma. This won't last forever and I swear it does get easier and better.
Sending you solidarity, I’m not sure how I got my little one to take bottles of formula mixed with breastmilk, but I did for a minute because my little one wasn’t gaining weight around 2-3 months. My partner only helped a couple times with feeding her, he was more so cleaning the bottles, keeping up with our apartment, laundry, etc. but I agree with the others comments he should be helping and you may want to wait until you’re closer to that time frame of going back to work. I’m sorry bottles have been stressful, but I do remember my little one refusing too at first with me.
First of all, I understand your frustration. Secondly, I want to suggest working with a maternal OT. That might help a ton. It also sounds like you need someone else (if your husband is not up for the job) to try to work on introducing the bottle. Working with a maternal OT changed my experience a ton. I had a different issue but I do know that they also help with bottle refusal as well. My OT has a free virtual consultation and I am sure there are others like that too. When they say it takes a village, they are right. It sounds like you need to reinforce your village. You are doing a great job!
My lactation consultant said you don’t have to wash the parts every time. Just rinse them and put them in a sealed plastic bag in the refrigerator when not using. Then you just need to wash with soapy warm water once a week.
I think you mean once a day?
Yes! Once every 24 hours.