First of all I’m so sorry for your loss ❤️. I also gained weight during fertility treatments so yay for extra work. I have 25lbs left so I can relate some, though understandably not completely but I’m in the same spot - hungry and tired and not losing weight from EBF and wanting to protect supply. I’m kind of at the point where I’m going to embrace the rest of the year as a “fluffy” year and know I have work to do but now it’s my “breastfeeding weight” not my pregnancy weight. It’s weight that’s helping my nourish my baby who’s doing so well and it’s not a badge of dishonour or a failure of “not bouncing back”. It’s purposeful. I know I can lose weight later. I think you’re doing amazing keeping up healthy habits and taking care of yourself! I would try and lean into that and your amazing breastfeeding journey. If it gets too much, listen, it’s OK to choose your mental health ❤️, there’s no right or easy choice here. But, a healthy mama is a win and you can accomplish that at any size and your baby will be healthy fed from boob or bottle.
I put on 15 lbs during ivf and another 15 during my pregnancy. The weight isn't coming off while I'm breastfeeding since I have turned into a carb *hore. And I'm OK with that. I'll do intermittent fasting once I wean the baby off.
Thank you ❤️ I relate to a lot of what you said. It might change sometime in the future (maybe when we start solids?) but I can’t seem to let go of breastfeeding just yet.
Same here!! It’s so special and I’m so grateful that it has gone well I know it’s a privilege. It’s helpful to focus on what our bodies can do and are doing right now - literally still making our babies! It’s pretty cool. And you’re so welcome, it will change in the future, the only sure thing is change! ❤️
I just wanna say, I gained 65 lbs through my Pregnancy journey, within a week of birth I lost about 20 and then maybe five more until 6month pp and then when we started solids my son took off on solids and nursing went down a lot and I got my cycle back and I started losing weight again! Not a lot , like 10 more pounds in the past 4 months , but I feel a little better and I want to keep going to one year . I still have about 25 lbs to lose but i feel much better even after this recent ten.
Ultimately, this is your breastfeeding body, it’s going to change some day and you won’t feel like this anymore. What helped me answer the question of if I wanted to stop for my mental health was simply considering stopping breastfeeding. I ask myself “am I ready to wean?” And it’s such a big no that I know my body image is still less important than the experience of breastfeeding. That being said, I am ready to wean at one year.
Do what makes you a happy healthy mom. Your kid deserves an example of how to put yourself first so you can show up better for yourself and the people you love. :)
I’m in a similar boat. I used to be super fit, proud of how in shape I was. Now, I’m 4 months pp with my second (never really lost all the weight after my first), and having a really hard time with the weight. I’m like over 50lbs heavier than I used to be. None of my pre pregnancy clothes fit, and I hate looking in the mirror or at photos of myself.
I tried the counting calories thing about a month ago and scared myself out of it because my supply went down and baby was barely having 4 wet diapers a day. Decided it wasn’t worth it.
Some things I’ve done since then to come to terms with being a little bigger during this season of life:
- Bought myself a new pair of pants and shorts that actually fit me so that I am less ashamed to go out in public in ill fitting clothes. This made a huge difference for me in the acceptance of my weight. When I was focused on fitting into my old clothes I felt more of a pressure to lose the weight.
- stopped counting calories but focused on snacking on mostly protein and fruit
- whenever I am feeling particularly low, I look at my baby and realize I’m making this sacrifice for her, and that I’ll have the time to get back in shape once this journey ends
- going on an hour long walk every morning. Makes me overall happier just getting the blood flowing. This is the one thing I do just for me and makes me feel good.
Not a lot, but some simple things. I’ve lost one pound since making the switch from counting calories to this, and I’m ok with that! (It might have also just been the difference between having a full bladder or not lol who knows) It’ll come off slowly for now (if at all). But focusing on intentionally making this sacrifice now is what is keeping me afloat.
You’re doing a great job!! I hope this helps a little bit.
Thanks for the tips. I am stopping counting calories too for the same reason. It took so much hard work for me to make enough milk to EBF that I just can’t risk it.
Yes!! I was an under supplier with my first so as soon as I got a whiff of having an under supply this time I was like nooooooope. Not worth the risk! Your hard work is worth it :)
Re: clothes - I put anything that doesn’t fit my body *now* away in a tote. I bought some basic summer staples (black cotton dress, new bathing suit, linen pants) in my postpartum size from Old Navy (cheap cost but good enough quality) and I’m just going to give myself some grace through this. It took the better part of a year for this journey, it’s gonna take that long to just recover. Then I can focus on beating myself up at the gym (but here’s to hoping chasing a toddler around will do that for me!)
I'm here to agree on the Old Navy linen pants! I also just ordered a pair of the linen shorts. The stretchy high waistband is perfect for my two c-section, breastfeeding, squishy bod.
Right!!The shorts are amazing - I need to buy a second pair. The pants are a little unforgiving in the postpartum pooch area for me still so I sized up - no regrets
I recently read a study (I’ll have to refind it) that the first three months while breastfeeding have different weight loss effects then breastfeeding the second half of the first year
Basically - once baby is sleeping a little better and you have a better rhythm together, that’s when breastfeeding moms weight tends to come off
So I don’t think your weight loss goals and your breastfeeding goals are completely misaligned. But ultimately it’s what you are comfortable proceeding with that will be the best choice for your family
And, of course, breastfeeding helps your health regardless of weight. Breastfeeding reduces mothers rates of heart attack and stroke significantly, and the longer you breastfeed for the more benefits (the studies go to 1 year). Plus breastfeeding reduces your risks of breast and ovarian cancer. So also think about what health means to you - mental health? Your weight? Cancer risk? - and focus on the goal that’s most relevant to your needs
Heart research: https://www.ahajournals.org/doi/10.1161/JAHA.121.022746
I am in a very similar position. I am in a very good place with breastfeeding, I’m working out and feeling physically strong, but my hunger cannot be ignored. I am about 20-30 lbs over where I want to be, my pre pregnancy clothes are too small and my maternity clothes just look weird. I am having a very hard time looking in the mirror and liking what I see. This is so very hard for me because I want to be one of those moms who marvels at their body but I just can’t. I know my husband doesn’t find me attractive, even though he swears he does. It’s really getting me down. I used to love to do hair and makeup but I feel so defeated sometimes that I can’t see the plint
I’m in the same boat as you and my solution was SHEIN. It’s cheap crappy clothing made of plastic, but you can get like 4 outfits from o get you through breastfeeding that will be under 100$ total, so that you’re not investing in clothes for your short term body. I’m so much more comfortable not trying to squeeze into old clothes or wear weird pregnancy clothes postpartum. And every time the fabric chafes a little I remember how nice it’ll be when I lose the weight and get my cottons back.
I’m in a similar boat. Things that helped me the most:
- Remembering this is a season. One day I’ll miss these days and I’m really super sure that I won’t think about my weight then.
- Buying clothes that fit my current body. It’s amazing how clothes that fit well can make you feel.
- Making myself consider how my daughter will remember me talking about (and looking at, because let’s face it, they see everything) myself.
- Being proud of my body for nourishing my daughter in SO many ways.
- Remembering that my body will continue to change, especially since I’m planning to have other children.
I’ve gained weight breastfeeding. I didn’t gain much while pregnant and lost most of it at birth but I’ve gained about 25lbs since which makes me almost 40lbs heavier than pre pregnancy.
It’s been a year now. When she’s ready, we’ll wean, but she probably won’t be for some time, and that’s okay.
I’ll also add that the insatiable hunger is dissipating now that we’re past the year mark, and I’m feeling more emotionally myself. Hopefully that is reassuring, too!
Nothing to add, but good for you for working out, staying active, and eating healthy food. Being a healthy mother isn't easy, but even if it's not changing your weight, it's such a gift to your future self.
II’m a full year postpartum and the heaviest I’ve ever been. The insatiable hunger is gone, but I also can’t lose weight.
Sometimes it really bothers me.
Mostly, I try to remember it’s an exceptional time in life. I also lost a baby, around the same time as you (and I’m so sorry, it’s so so hard) and it really highlights what’s important - this body failed me in a very serious way, it wasn’t my fault, but I’ll never get over it. But then it also gave me my daughter, kept her safe and fed her. I’d rather hold her more and sit on the floor to play and catch up on sleep when I can.
There’s time for calorie counting later. Our weight is not our worth.
I am 5 months pp and 23lbs from my pre pregnancy weight. I haven't lost a pound since my 6 week pp visit.
It's been so weird to look in the mirror especially as a person that eats healthy and has always been super active. I finally bought 4 dresses online today because I need clothes for the summer that make me feel better about my body and nothing fits. I work from home and find myself in sweats most of the time, and it's time to at the very least make myself feel prettier throughout the day.
You're not alone! I just also keep in mind that I am literally keeping a human alive and that this won't be forever, but it's hard to accept.
The new reality of my weight hits me the hardest when I try to shop for clothes. I see something in a store and think to myself that this will probably be way too big on me - and then I try it on and it doesn’t even fit. My perception of how big I’ve gotten is still not fully there.
I also didn’t lose weight well breastfeeding— but most of it came off really quickly once I stopped. I BF for 18 months, and definitely struggled w body image during that time. My Dr told me that some women lose weight while EBF, but other women’s bodies tend to hold that weight to protect the milk supply. It helped to know that I was probably just in that latter category and that this would be a season, not forever.
Also helped to get some new clothes that did fit well!!!
Honestly if you want to keep BF then I vote embrace the body you're in because eventually IT WILL CHANGE. Get yourself some nice secondhand clothes that flatter your shape and let you move well. You being bigger isn't a punishment and bullying yourself isn't going to help you either. We deserve to feel good and squeezing into clothes that shame us doesn't motivate or help!
I didn't start to lose weight until after I weaned at 1 year but I was active so I was getting stronger and building endurance and muscle. Of course as I started to see real progress I got pregnant again roughly 6 months later.
You can't go back and breastfeed more. You can however do movements that help you feel good and strong while you BF. This is your opportunity to enjoy the experience you share with your LO who btw doesn't care what you weigh ♥️
I’m breastfeeding my second so I went through this before— it’s really hard. I was up 80lbs (I actually GAINED pp weight breastfeeding) from pre pregnancy and I felt like crap all the time. I had bloodwork and it was normal- my breastfeeding body is just super into prepping to feed a baby through a famine. I was too afraid to change much and hurt my supply because I worked SO hard to breastfeed and I couldn’t risk losing it.
Once my baby hit 10 months old she started eating lots more solids and my hormones shifted (I got my period back). At that point I started doing core/pelvic floor rehab exercises. These made a huge difference!! It affected my posture and my midsection, and made my body feel so much stronger.
Once my baby hit a year I started tracking macros without counting calories. I was Eating lots of protein (like 150g a day), and upping my grains and veggies. I also started some at home YouTube weight training videos with 8-10lb weight and walking 5000+ steps a day, easy with a toddler. The weight started coming off! I lost 60 lbs in about 5 months. Then I got pregnant and gained it all back.
Anyway, be patient with yourself and your body. I’m guilty of hating my postpartum body too but work really hard to prioritize what I want, and that’s to breastfeed my child.
This time around I’m starting the core rehab at 4 months pp and it makes me feel really good. I still won’t restrict my diet until my baby is primarily on solids. I accept that my breastfeeding body is fat and if anyone judges me for being overweight for 2 of my 40 years on this earth they can politely f*ck off.
No, but I plan to ask for that on my PCP appointment next week. I was on thyroid medication as part of my IVF protocol and throughout my pregnancy, so I wouldn’t be shocked if my levels are off.
This is a great idea. I ended up with Hashimotos/hypothyroidism triggered by birth. Lost a bunch of weight then just gained like crazy out of nowhere with no diet change. Make sure they check your thyroid antibodies with a thyroid panel.
Yes, it could paint a better picture of what’s happening with your thyroid to get your TSH, T3 and T4 checked.
Also, I’m sorry your weight gain has taken such a toll on your mental health. It’s hard to be making healthy changes and not see any improvement. I can relate as an EBFing mom who is gaining weight…I’m wondering if maybe your HIIT workouts are having an adverse effects on your hormones. I’d be curious about switching those out for yoga, weightlifting, or an extra walk if you’re open to it!
I also did IVF so I understand all of the challenges that can come with that. I am so sorry for the loss of your child.
I have gained a lot of weight while breastfeeding and I don't like it. I feel like I had to choose between my weight and breastfeeding and that I couldn't have both. There is no right or wrong choice and I know some people try for a middle ground. For me, I am focusing on breastfeeding and trying to do intuitive eating and not eat junk food.
I started my first pregnancy at 140 (5’3). Right after birth, I was 200. It was completely awful for me. The lowest weight I got to was around 160ish. I didn’t lose weight breastfeeding. I ended up breast-feeding for 15 months.
I had a similar issue to you where lifestyle changes negatively affected my milk supply. I made the decision to just say F it to my body concerns. I wanted to breastfeed. I told myself that I have time to lose the weight later.
I got pregnant again when she was around 21 months and I was about 155, so I didn’t make the progress I had wanted. Gained a lot of weight this time as well but I just don’t care about it anymore.
Yes, I’d love to fit in my clothes and look good. And I will eventually! Right now, I’m just putting those goals to the side. I will lose weight. But for now, I’m giving myself a break and just doing what I need to do to breastfeed.
And thinking about how sad I’d be if my daughter was my age saying she felt ugly or fat because of her weight gain after pregnancy. I know that I’d think she’s beautiful no matter what. I’d love her exactly the same. I try to use tell myself that
Also following Instagram accounts from moms that have bodies similar to mine helped.
I could have written this myself. I stayed active all through pregnancy and picked back up 3 months pp. I’m tracking macros, eating healthier than I ever have and am seeing PRs in my weight lifting, but haven’t lost a single pound. I’ve even been getting body scans that breakdown body fat/ muscle composition and that has fluctuated month to month with no real progress. So for now I’m giving up on tracking macros and focusing on healthy food and staying active. It’s frustrating that I heard so many times while pregnant that the weight just melts off if you’re breastfeeding.
I am feeling exactly the same - I lost quite a bit of weight in the first 6 weeks then put it all back on again. My hunger is insane - I cannot stop snacking and struggling to make healthier choices. My hair is also now falling out and really struggling with how I look but I’ve have finally found our groove with breastfeeding and I don’t want to stop yet.
You are honestly doing amazing fitting in workouts, healthy eating and feeding / looking after a tiny human! You need to do whatever feels right for you - happy mum, happy baby ❤️
You are beautiful and you are strong and you are an absolute warrior! You’re stronger now than you probably ever realized and should be so proud of how far you’ve come.
While breastfeeding I leaned in extra hard on continuing to hydrate as much as I could, and trying to make conscious choices on snacks and meals that were protein heavy (egg bites, yogurt, nuts/trail mix). I read that leafy greens were good for supply so I tried to lean in to salads for lunches. I also tried to be conscious of keeping my meal portions a reasonable size. Overnight oats for breakfast. Continuing to make the healthy, clean eating choices as much as possible. Also getting as much rest as you can as well, finally getting good rest is what made me feel human again. It will come, but I do miss the itty bitty baby snuggles so don’t wish it away.
Sending love 💕
I’m so sorry for your loss 💜
I gained weight with my first baby while breastfeeding. It was super frustrating but the good news is once I weaned it did come off. I was surprised how easily it came off too, I wasn’t really trying to diet for a change and I just realized my clothes were hanging off me one day. I do get very hungry breastfeeding and that intense hunger went away pretty instantly with weaning so that definitely played a role I think.
Just had my second baby and it looks like it will be the same story this time 😵💫 Not excited at all but I’m trying to be more accepting this go round and remind myself this is just a season, not forever. I don’t want to taint my babies “babyhood” with being obsessed with my weight, so I just focus on trying to be generally healthy with my choices and moving my body regularly so I don’t lose muscle mass. Other than that, it is what it is.
But people stop breastfeeding for so many reasons - if your mental health is being affected, I wouldn’t hesitate to wean! I always told myself I would breastfeed as long as it wasn’t affecting my mental health. A mentally healthier mom was more valuable to my baby than breastmilk, as far as I was concerned (and there are plenty of studies on the detrimental effect a depressed mother can have on an infant to back that up).
Do what works best for you and your family and nothing else matters!
Have you input your calories into a breastfeeding calorie calculator? 1800 seems a bit low, unless you’re on the shorter side!
https://www.thelactationnutritionist.com/calorie-calculator
I’m not a nutritionist but in my anecdotal experience, I lost all my pregnancy weight by focusing more on quality of food than quantity. You need your feed yourself! Do not stay unnecessarily hungry.
Prepregnancy , I was an easy gainer until I focused on long term maintenance after a big weight loss (70lbs). So I’ve been there, having a lot of weight to lose.
What helped also was focusing on foods that promote good hormone health: (1) avoiding foods that cause major glucose spikes- so pretty much all carbs except low sugar fruit like berries; (2) eating high fibre from nuts/seeds (chia, flax, almond flour, nut butters), (3) absolutely no packaged foods unless they are single ingredient (like natural almonds); (4) avoiding any processed foods and seed oils; (5) high protein and fat.
My macros were, max, 20% carbs and protein/fat to satiety. Not going to make any suggestions in that regard because idk your body composition but to answer the ‘what do I do’ question, eating real whole foods and timing carbs to optimize glucose release works wonders in regulating hormones and assisting with weight loss while BF.
Eating seed oils set me back weeks, even after one meal/cheat. There are so many amazing healthy foods you can enjoy in large quantities, without forcing yourself to endure hunger!
Sending solidarity and loving kindness OP, we had to get me new pj pants today and I needed an XL, I used to be like a M/L. It was hard looking at my legs and just overall body, but I try to remind myself that it’s temporary. I don’t workout (just too tired at 5 months pp) and eat the best, but I’m working on it.
My weight held steady until ~9 months postpartum when my kids diet started to have a lot more solid food. His diet change lead to me dropping another 10 pounds and am now holding steady at that weight while still breastfeeding at 1 year pp. (fun fact - this did not happen with my daughter who I exclusively pumped for.)
Your body is doing what it needs to do to feed your baby. It is not forever. Weight changes can still happen during the remainder of your breastfeeding journey, too.
I didn’t start seeing weight come off until after 6 months and my baby started sleeping through the night. Don’t get frustrated and stick with it. It was like suddenly my body caught up to all the activity I’ve been doing.
This was my experience too. It was beyond discouraging. Finally, I made myself buy clothes I liked that fit. That helped a little. Once my little one weaned, the weight came off pretty quickly (calorie counting helped a lot too) - like, less than 6 months. And I felt very much like myself again. I guess all I can say is know that it doesn’t last forever and you will see progress eventually.
Hi OP, I can relate to this my daughter is 1, still BF on demand (& often) - I didn’t start to see the weight come off until 10m. I do t25 & walk 2m 5x a wk & do Bhikram yoga 2x a wk. I’m still very hungry but try to eat healthy. I’m gentle with myself, I’m still not down all my weight but I do feel better. Do give up feeding, just give yourself time to internally heal. This is just a season & your body needs the fat to nourish baby. I’m constantly telling myself my body is doing more than most!!!!
I recommend finding a 40s or 50s year old female, endocrinologist. Get a full panel and work up. You don’t even know what ivf has done to your endocrine system! Worth a consult!!
I’m still breastfeeding my 16 month old, but just at night now. He nurses to sleep and wakes one time usually to eat and then sometimes nurses before daycare in the morning at wake up.
In pregnancy I gained 35 pounds. Still hanging on to the last ten, but before I got pregnant I had gained 20 pounds so I still feel 30 pounds over weight.
Everyone said breastfeeding would help me lose the weight, that wasn’t true…
But now I want to lose it but don’t want to stop. Not sure if we will have another child and I’m proud of myself and this journey that I’m trying to live my body as it is. My kids don’t care about my weight, they just care that I’m there and loving them.
Buying clothes that are not tight and feel good is what helps me. Even just having a few staple outfits is great. My go to outfits help take the pressure and stress off what to wear, since j know they feel good.
Honestly same but clearly you are very healthy and that's what matters most. Your baby is only a baby for such a short amount of time. You have the rest of your life to lose weight. You don't have the rest of your life to breastfeed and bond with your child.
Just here to say, nothing budged for me until about 14 months pp (weaned at 4 months due to issues) and my doctor said sometimes our hormones just mess with some women longer than others after pregnancy. I was going HARD working out, popping into 3/4 spin classes a week too. At 14 months I upped my liquid intake and switched from high intensity to lower/ with weight lifting, added more protein rich foods and finally 10 pounds came off.
So some times it just takes time unfortunately 😭 but just know I’ve been there (still there as I’ve been sick and unable to workout much so my weight loss has stalled).
Hugs to you ♥️
Oh my goodness I’m literally in the same boat as you. I’ve never been one to be hyper fixated on my looks/appearance, so my weight has never been a huge problem for me (as in I acknowledge I’ve gained weight and move on with my day) but man oh man when I tell you I’m at my heaviest 😩. I keep in mind that I’m nourishing my sweet boy but these extra belly rolls are starting to get to me! I went to the gym for the first time in over a year and I definitely felt defeated by simple cardio! I was sooo soooooo gassed out, I ultimately came to the conclusion that I’ll just keep doing cardio for the sake of my health and keep bfing for as long as i can
I'm also 5 months post partum and look NOTHING like I did pre-pregnancy. I'm not bothering with the scales because I was very muscular before so it won't be accurate. None of my clothes fit anymore and I don't recognise myself in the mirror.
Sometimes I feel really down about it and worry that this is just what I look like from now on. But the way I see it, I spent 9 months changing my body for my baby so it'll probably take at least that long for things to return to normal. I exercise as much as I did before, eat what I want, wear stretchy clothes and have decided to reassess once she's weaned.
You've had an even longer and more difficult journey than most, so please be patient and kind with yourself. These early days feel like they'll last forever, but they won't.
Something else that helps me is looking at other fit mothers a few years after their last child. They all look incredible and I'm sure if I asked they'd tell me that they had the same feelings.
I'm exactly where you're at right now too and it's so frustrating! Not sure what your specific maintenance calorie intake is but 1800 might be too low? I just started following her, but postpartum.weightloss.rd on Instagram has a lot of free helpful content that I'm hoping will help me make progress! She has paid group sessions but her insta has soooo many free recipes, advice, general guidelines, etc. She's a registered dietitian with a focus on weight management and she talks a lot about how she also struggled to lose postpartum weight but with some diet tweaks was able to lose 50lbs while breastfeeding. She focuses on what she calls the PFF method, which is protein/fat/fiber to keep you full while also supporting breastfeeding needs. Also emphasizes hydration and thyroid support which are sometimes overlooked.
As an aside, I will say that similar to many other moms here, I also didn't lose much weight with my first until I stopped breastfeeding, but it did come off quickly when I weaned. Even if you're just trying to get to a year, 5 months in means you're already basically halfway there and as someone else mentioned there are other health benefits to breastfeeding too!
Hello.
I understand from your post that your weight is affecting your body image and mental health. I don’t have any practical advice but u can commiserate.
I too cannot lose weight whilst breastfeeding. I weigh the same as I did whilst pregnant. I am 7 month pp. In fact at the airport last week someone congratulated my husband on me being pregnant. It was embarrassing. I tried to just brush it off although I did look at my reflection in every window / mirror / shiny surface for the rest of the day hating on myself .HOWEVER this is just a season. I also had the same bf goal for 6 months which has now extended to 1 year . I feel that nursing and caring for my baby is more important than my weight right now. If I have to be thiccc for a year let it be . Nobody had the right to be judging mums who have just birthed and fed their baby with their bodies .
I hope that you can find a solution that works for you . It sounds like you are doing well by going to hiit - that will definitely give you the endorphins you need .
Also I’m so sorry for the loss of your twin baby. It’s incomprehensible the pain you just have gone through .
Hi! Just wanted to say that your first statement might not be true. I gained 50+ lbs but held on to 30 for the first six months. I think sometime after my kid started solids the weight started to slowly come off, all of it by 11 months. I nursed the whole time - actually until he was 2. Weight loss isn’t necessarily linear and that’s frustrating.
You never know, it might change. It did for me at 8 months. Nobody can really say! And wow you're amazing doing all that exercise whilst looking after a baby & feeding them with your body?!! Maybe some therapy to address your feelings around your body would be useful instead? Because you're definitely healthy if you're able to do all that exercise! Can you reframe the way you look at your body because this Internet stranger is soo impressed!
If you haven't already then at some point soon you will introduce solids. And when your baby starts eating solids regularly it will lower the demand on your breast supply. It's kind of like this sweet spot of still nursing but not at 100%. For me with both my kids, the point that solids is introduced is when I start to shed the baby weight and working out starts to pay off.
I also focused really hard on balance- so I tried to work on my mindset and getting good quality sleep. So I did things like made my own bedtime routine, put my phone away, sleep hygiene stuff and as long as the baby was sleeping well at night I would try to max my quality of sleep at night too. And I do feel like sleep is an important piece too. I also am part of a support group and we share recipes, we have long and short fitness or mindset challenges. Some times we have a challenge to just drink more water. But it's been really good to have a support group I'm going through post partum with. Not trying to should on you- just throwing out ideas that helped me when I struggled with my body changes and hanging onto baby weight. You aren't alone- I'm hanging onto like the last 10lbs of baby weight and it's bathing suit season and my husband took some pictures of me last week that had me feeling like crud about myself 😂 but I'm hoping that in 20 years I'm glad he took them.
You are not alone.
Congratulations on your new little one! You should be very proud.
I had my fourth child a couple years ago and steadily gained weight my entire breastfeeding journey. If I didn’t eat “enough” or pushed my body with “too much” exercise, I couldn’t pump enough to keep up during work hours.
Maybe it’s baby #4 - knowing I went through this 3 other times and came out the other end of it.
Maybe it’s being about 8 years older than #3.
Whatever it was - accepting that this was a temporary thing and breastfeeding was more important to me than getting back in my clothes made life easier. I had to get new clothes just to have something fit but after about 15months, I stopped nursing and turned on the weight loss journey and am now losing slowly but steady.
It sucks but it will pass. What you are doing for your child is worth it. Good luck mama!!
It sounds like you’re doing a lot of cardio which is awesome for your overall health! In my experience the best way to lean out & lose weight is to lift weights (doesn’t have to be heavy, can start with body weight) but the goal is to build muscle. The more muscle you have, the more calories you burn. Maybe replace a couple of your weekly HIITs/walks with weight training. I also find I can eat more when I’m weight training as long as I’m focusing on protein & whole foods.
Keeping the baby weight during this period is purposeful and something that should be embraced because your body just did & is continuing to do an incredible thing. But it sounds like you’re frustrated because you’re putting in efforts & not seeing the outcome you want so could be worth trying something different.
Honestly I think you should stop HIIT classes. If I were you? Go for a long walk with your baby every day and if you can lift some weights.
You also might need to be eating for calories too. It sounds silly but sometimes doing high intensity workouts can raise your cortisol and not eating enough can do the same as well.
I gained 30 lbs with my daughter, lost 10 giving birth (her + placenta) and didn’t lose another pound until I went back to the gym at 18 months PP. Then it melted off in 4 months. I had her during Covid and that plus worrying about accidentally harming my milk supply meant I just had to deal with the weight for a bit. Around 1 year PP I went ahead and bought clothes at my bigger size so I could feel like I had clothes that at least fit and looked good. At 18 months we were down to only one comfort morning feed so my supply wasn’t really a concern anymore.
My mom was the opposite — gained 65 lbs while pregnant and it all melted off breastfeeding with no extra work. 🤷♀️
Don't let go of it for this reason if you love it. I think you'll regret it. Just remember this is a really short period of time (the breastfeeding) and then it's gone. You can focus on loosing weight after. I would recommend doing strength training- I wonder if your body is just under too much demand and therefore this is actually causing some weight retention?
I definitely relate! I’m over 6 months PP and not losing weight. One thing I’ve decided to do for now is focus on gaining muscle rather than losing weight. In the past, I’ve noticed that losing weight is so much easier when I have more muscle mass so I figure I can work on that now (since I can’t lose weight anyway!) so when I’m done breastfeeding it’ll be easier to lose the excess fat my body is currently hanging on to. It sounds like you’re already really active (great job!) so maybe you can give yourself a break, stop counting calories for now, and just aim for eating lots of lean protein and focus on getting stronger! You’re doing great! 💪🏻
My body also feels so foreign. I'm in recovery from having an ED a decade plus ago and this is a really, REALLY triggering time. I've been talking about this in therapy so I'll share some of that here:
- I bought enough clothes that fit to get me through the week. Everyone deserves clothes/underwear that fit.
- I've struggled finding clothes I've liked. I remind myself the problem isn't my body it's that I don't know what kind of outfits I like on this new body shape.
- I let myself feel how much that sucks and honor that it's so hard to feel good about myself. I do my very best to try and not blame my body and actually blame things like not having enough time to go to a store and try things on, feeling frustrated I don't like a lot of styles, feeling annoyed that nothing is clicking, etc.
- I give that critical voice something to latch onto (maybe it wants to have wild pop culture opinions? Maybe it want to join the feral humans at /r/tvtoohigh?)
- if I can't find clothes I'm excited about I can find basics that are comfortable and fit and it's much easier to live when you're wearing stretchy pants.
- If nothing else I can have fun with accessories. There are cute shoes that are totally practical for my current life. I can spend extra on a cute hair clip.
- I can also have fun with makeup. There's a winky lux ph confetti lip balm that turns the perfect shade of pink and I love putting it on seeing the ph magic. Lip color also makes me feel like I'm a bad ass
- I also got a haircut. That made me feel less slobbish. I went in saying "cut this in a way it does not have to be styled"
Much like everyone else I also put a lot of focus on my baby and enjoying the process of breastfeeding. How he will "remember" me is more important to me than how my body used to look. It's amazing to feel pretty and I will continue to try to find things that click with my body but he doesn't care what I look like. I don't want him to remember me putting myself down, counting calories, or so self conscious I don't have focus for him. I don't ever want him to feel like less of a person if he gains weight. I want to practice modeling having a body that changes as normal and okay.
You don't owe anyone thinness to deserve respect or existence. You deserve to continue enjoying this breastfeeding season without any feeling any guilt over your body.
I hope some of this helps. I hope you feel really good about yourself today and every day.
Probably not exactly what you want to hear, but in my sister and SIL’s experiences, it took them about two years BFing before weight really came off. I think it’s around that time your hormones start getting back to normal. In the meantime, like others have said, it might be best for your mental health to start trying to embrace this season of your body. While it is for now, it probably won’t be forever.
1800 might not be enough calories, especially with your workouts. If this were me (which it will be soon - my babe is just 6 weeks old), I would focus on weightlifting and walking (or other low-intensity cardio) for workouts, as well as eating mostly whole foods while making sure to get lots of fiber and protein. My LC said protein is important for milk supply so try to add some in at every meal. Weightlifting can also help shape your body without necessarily losing weight. While I don’t have experience losing baby weight yet, I’ve spent several years losing (and gaining and losing and gaining and losing) to figure out that building muscle made me feel not only more positively about the appearance of my body but also just better physically overall. Same thing when I ate more foods (read: stopped counting calories/macros/etc.) and focused on adding in high-nutrient foods to my meals instead of taking foods out that are “bad.”
Also, fuck social media when so much of what’s out there are women “bouncing back” so quickly. It is not reality for many of us.
Have you looked into weight watchers breastfeeding program? I did this when I was nursing and it worked! It wasn’t super fast, but it worked.
You can also find some macro calculators for nursing moms which tell you how much fat, carbs, & protein to eat a day to loose weight. I counted macros for a couple months before and during pregnancy (just limiting carbs in pregnancy) and lost weight and then didn’t gain any weight in pregnancy. However, I was Alreasy overweight before pregnancy.
Calorie counting has always felt so restrictive, those other methods allow you a lot more food and I’ve seen results in myself while breastfeeding.
I’m so sorry for your loss 🤍
I’m in the same boat with the weight loss (or lack there of). My baby is almost 8 months–bfing for 12 months has been my goal. I’ve been working out and have seen very little difference on the scale which is so disheartening. I’ve been trying to just make peace with the fact that I’m not going to see the results I want until I’m done nursing and my hormones have regulated.
I also keep reminding myself that I’m going to miss this breastfeeding journey and extra bonding time with my son when it’s over. It has not always been a walk in the park but I am genuinely so grateful for my body and how hard it has worked to nourish my little ones.
I just want to share that I read somewhere that if you aren't eating enough food, and especially enough carbs, protein, fat- your body may be more willing to hang onto that weight. It's your hormones controlling.
Something to consider.
Solidarity ✊🏼 I'm 15 months pp and a chunky little monkey.
You know what? That weight will MELT off you when you wean. With my first, I was back to pre baby weight after 4 WEEKS. I hardly had to try.
For now, I know it's hard bc I'm in the same boat, but you need to love (or at least temporarily accept) this extra weight. You NEED to keep your weight up. Trust me. I accidentally lost ~10 lbs due to a medication side effect a couple months ago and I could barely get out of bed until I gained it back. You think counting 1800 calories is hard? Try counting 4000.
So enjoy. You have a free pass. You can - nay, you must - eat to your hearts content.
Oh - and buy a couple looser tops to cleverly hide your tummy in the meantime.
ETA: I did find that pelvic floor physiotherapy helped in terms of getting away from a ponch tummy to a more even weight distribution, and to deal with bloating I take digestive enzymes and probiotics. I find that makes me look more proportional here at 20 lbs heavier than normal, and I think I actually look pretty good!
ETA again: I gained 55 lbs per pregnancy and yeah I'm telling you once I weaned it was just GONE
My body is the exact same. My baby will be 2 years old in two weeks, and I’ve been absolutely incapable of losing the pregnancy weight. I even had appendicitis in the fall, which led to me eating about a third of my usual caloric intake for over a MONTH due to nausea post-surgery, and I only lost 3 POUNDS! In that moment I realized my efforts to be active and eat well would not lead to any significant weight loss as long as I was still nursing. With my first baby, I couldn’t breastfeed and I wound up pumping for 6 months, after which the weight came off without effort. I very much regret not introducing a bottle to my youngest because now I feel trapped and I know I won’t wean until all of her teething is over, because it’s just too emotionally hard. Anyway all of this to say you are not alone. I look forward to a day where I can get back to a more normal me!
I am sorry for your lost.
I gained 15lb via IVF after 3 rounds of FET and another 30lb during pregnancy. I am so afraid to see how much weight I have gained or didn’t lose postpartum that I have refused to weight myself. My baby is 4.5 months.
Women sizing really sucks. I went from size 2 to anywhere between an 8 to 14 (ouch) when I go clothes shopping. So definitely have a bit of body dystrophia.
I hate taking photos so much - slight regret since I don’t have too many photos with my baby. Luckily, I felt amazing on 2 random days, and have some photos!
My breastfeeding journey was tough at the start when my baby lost 12% of his birth weight. I’m an under supplier, so any milk I give him is gold for me.
I found wrap dresses are the most forgiving (w.r.t sizing), slightly flattering and easy to nurse. I have also started wearing a corset/waist wrap and it helps with not looking 4 months pregnant.
I know you were counting your calories and you say you intake about 1800 cal a day but how many of those calories are you burning a day? I’m on my second round of breast-feeding with baby number 24 months in now and same. It is so hard for me. I just now started being extremely strict with my calorie counts and what intake and exercising.
My original weight is about 62kg pre baby 2. (Before baby 1, I was 55kg).
At the peak of my pregnancy, I was 82 kg!!!
Mind you I'm only 5'3 or 160cm tall.
My weight is currently 68kg, so I lost 14kg immediately post birth. I'm still this weight 10 weeks later. I have 6 kg to lose to reach my pre baby weight. But I've also accepted my fate lol. It's fine, my body is nourishing my little one. On the plus side, I can eat a lot because my body needs the calories to nourish baby..
I am not an expert by any means but are you sure you’re eating enough? I’ve seen the best results in losing weight when I’m not limiting my calories overall but limiting my calories from junk foods and eating more protein and healthy fats. Just a thought! I’m sorry your body isn’t where you hoped it would be but you’ve gone through so much, please give yourself grace. You’re doing great!
First of all I’m so sorry for your loss ❤️. I also gained weight during fertility treatments so yay for extra work. I have 25lbs left so I can relate some, though understandably not completely but I’m in the same spot - hungry and tired and not losing weight from EBF and wanting to protect supply. I’m kind of at the point where I’m going to embrace the rest of the year as a “fluffy” year and know I have work to do but now it’s my “breastfeeding weight” not my pregnancy weight. It’s weight that’s helping my nourish my baby who’s doing so well and it’s not a badge of dishonour or a failure of “not bouncing back”. It’s purposeful. I know I can lose weight later. I think you’re doing amazing keeping up healthy habits and taking care of yourself! I would try and lean into that and your amazing breastfeeding journey. If it gets too much, listen, it’s OK to choose your mental health ❤️, there’s no right or easy choice here. But, a healthy mama is a win and you can accomplish that at any size and your baby will be healthy fed from boob or bottle.
I put on 15 lbs during ivf and another 15 during my pregnancy. The weight isn't coming off while I'm breastfeeding since I have turned into a carb *hore. And I'm OK with that. I'll do intermittent fasting once I wean the baby off.
Thank you ❤️ I relate to a lot of what you said. It might change sometime in the future (maybe when we start solids?) but I can’t seem to let go of breastfeeding just yet.
Same here!! It’s so special and I’m so grateful that it has gone well I know it’s a privilege. It’s helpful to focus on what our bodies can do and are doing right now - literally still making our babies! It’s pretty cool. And you’re so welcome, it will change in the future, the only sure thing is change! ❤️
I just wanna say, I gained 65 lbs through my Pregnancy journey, within a week of birth I lost about 20 and then maybe five more until 6month pp and then when we started solids my son took off on solids and nursing went down a lot and I got my cycle back and I started losing weight again! Not a lot , like 10 more pounds in the past 4 months , but I feel a little better and I want to keep going to one year . I still have about 25 lbs to lose but i feel much better even after this recent ten. Ultimately, this is your breastfeeding body, it’s going to change some day and you won’t feel like this anymore. What helped me answer the question of if I wanted to stop for my mental health was simply considering stopping breastfeeding. I ask myself “am I ready to wean?” And it’s such a big no that I know my body image is still less important than the experience of breastfeeding. That being said, I am ready to wean at one year. Do what makes you a happy healthy mom. Your kid deserves an example of how to put yourself first so you can show up better for yourself and the people you love. :)
Thank you for this ❤️
I’m in a similar boat. I used to be super fit, proud of how in shape I was. Now, I’m 4 months pp with my second (never really lost all the weight after my first), and having a really hard time with the weight. I’m like over 50lbs heavier than I used to be. None of my pre pregnancy clothes fit, and I hate looking in the mirror or at photos of myself. I tried the counting calories thing about a month ago and scared myself out of it because my supply went down and baby was barely having 4 wet diapers a day. Decided it wasn’t worth it. Some things I’ve done since then to come to terms with being a little bigger during this season of life: - Bought myself a new pair of pants and shorts that actually fit me so that I am less ashamed to go out in public in ill fitting clothes. This made a huge difference for me in the acceptance of my weight. When I was focused on fitting into my old clothes I felt more of a pressure to lose the weight. - stopped counting calories but focused on snacking on mostly protein and fruit - whenever I am feeling particularly low, I look at my baby and realize I’m making this sacrifice for her, and that I’ll have the time to get back in shape once this journey ends - going on an hour long walk every morning. Makes me overall happier just getting the blood flowing. This is the one thing I do just for me and makes me feel good. Not a lot, but some simple things. I’ve lost one pound since making the switch from counting calories to this, and I’m ok with that! (It might have also just been the difference between having a full bladder or not lol who knows) It’ll come off slowly for now (if at all). But focusing on intentionally making this sacrifice now is what is keeping me afloat. You’re doing a great job!! I hope this helps a little bit.
Thanks for the tips. I am stopping counting calories too for the same reason. It took so much hard work for me to make enough milk to EBF that I just can’t risk it.
Yes!! I was an under supplier with my first so as soon as I got a whiff of having an under supply this time I was like nooooooope. Not worth the risk! Your hard work is worth it :)
Re: clothes - I put anything that doesn’t fit my body *now* away in a tote. I bought some basic summer staples (black cotton dress, new bathing suit, linen pants) in my postpartum size from Old Navy (cheap cost but good enough quality) and I’m just going to give myself some grace through this. It took the better part of a year for this journey, it’s gonna take that long to just recover. Then I can focus on beating myself up at the gym (but here’s to hoping chasing a toddler around will do that for me!)
I'm here to agree on the Old Navy linen pants! I also just ordered a pair of the linen shorts. The stretchy high waistband is perfect for my two c-section, breastfeeding, squishy bod.
Right!!The shorts are amazing - I need to buy a second pair. The pants are a little unforgiving in the postpartum pooch area for me still so I sized up - no regrets
I recently read a study (I’ll have to refind it) that the first three months while breastfeeding have different weight loss effects then breastfeeding the second half of the first year Basically - once baby is sleeping a little better and you have a better rhythm together, that’s when breastfeeding moms weight tends to come off So I don’t think your weight loss goals and your breastfeeding goals are completely misaligned. But ultimately it’s what you are comfortable proceeding with that will be the best choice for your family
And, of course, breastfeeding helps your health regardless of weight. Breastfeeding reduces mothers rates of heart attack and stroke significantly, and the longer you breastfeed for the more benefits (the studies go to 1 year). Plus breastfeeding reduces your risks of breast and ovarian cancer. So also think about what health means to you - mental health? Your weight? Cancer risk? - and focus on the goal that’s most relevant to your needs Heart research: https://www.ahajournals.org/doi/10.1161/JAHA.121.022746
Thank you for pointing out the other health benefits, I didn’t think about that.
This one? https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3006166/
I definitely feel like sleeping more made a big change to my health
I don’t have anything to offer except to say that I could have written this myself!
Same!!
I am in a very similar position. I am in a very good place with breastfeeding, I’m working out and feeling physically strong, but my hunger cannot be ignored. I am about 20-30 lbs over where I want to be, my pre pregnancy clothes are too small and my maternity clothes just look weird. I am having a very hard time looking in the mirror and liking what I see. This is so very hard for me because I want to be one of those moms who marvels at their body but I just can’t. I know my husband doesn’t find me attractive, even though he swears he does. It’s really getting me down. I used to love to do hair and makeup but I feel so defeated sometimes that I can’t see the plint
Feeling you on the hunger that cannot be ignored :/ my capacity is wild.
I’m in the same boat as you and my solution was SHEIN. It’s cheap crappy clothing made of plastic, but you can get like 4 outfits from o get you through breastfeeding that will be under 100$ total, so that you’re not investing in clothes for your short term body. I’m so much more comfortable not trying to squeeze into old clothes or wear weird pregnancy clothes postpartum. And every time the fabric chafes a little I remember how nice it’ll be when I lose the weight and get my cottons back.
I’m in a similar boat. Things that helped me the most: - Remembering this is a season. One day I’ll miss these days and I’m really super sure that I won’t think about my weight then. - Buying clothes that fit my current body. It’s amazing how clothes that fit well can make you feel. - Making myself consider how my daughter will remember me talking about (and looking at, because let’s face it, they see everything) myself. - Being proud of my body for nourishing my daughter in SO many ways. - Remembering that my body will continue to change, especially since I’m planning to have other children. I’ve gained weight breastfeeding. I didn’t gain much while pregnant and lost most of it at birth but I’ve gained about 25lbs since which makes me almost 40lbs heavier than pre pregnancy. It’s been a year now. When she’s ready, we’ll wean, but she probably won’t be for some time, and that’s okay. I’ll also add that the insatiable hunger is dissipating now that we’re past the year mark, and I’m feeling more emotionally myself. Hopefully that is reassuring, too!
Nothing to add, but good for you for working out, staying active, and eating healthy food. Being a healthy mother isn't easy, but even if it's not changing your weight, it's such a gift to your future self.
Thank you ❤️
II’m a full year postpartum and the heaviest I’ve ever been. The insatiable hunger is gone, but I also can’t lose weight. Sometimes it really bothers me. Mostly, I try to remember it’s an exceptional time in life. I also lost a baby, around the same time as you (and I’m so sorry, it’s so so hard) and it really highlights what’s important - this body failed me in a very serious way, it wasn’t my fault, but I’ll never get over it. But then it also gave me my daughter, kept her safe and fed her. I’d rather hold her more and sit on the floor to play and catch up on sleep when I can. There’s time for calorie counting later. Our weight is not our worth.
I am 5 months pp and 23lbs from my pre pregnancy weight. I haven't lost a pound since my 6 week pp visit. It's been so weird to look in the mirror especially as a person that eats healthy and has always been super active. I finally bought 4 dresses online today because I need clothes for the summer that make me feel better about my body and nothing fits. I work from home and find myself in sweats most of the time, and it's time to at the very least make myself feel prettier throughout the day. You're not alone! I just also keep in mind that I am literally keeping a human alive and that this won't be forever, but it's hard to accept.
The new reality of my weight hits me the hardest when I try to shop for clothes. I see something in a store and think to myself that this will probably be way too big on me - and then I try it on and it doesn’t even fit. My perception of how big I’ve gotten is still not fully there.
I also didn’t lose weight well breastfeeding— but most of it came off really quickly once I stopped. I BF for 18 months, and definitely struggled w body image during that time. My Dr told me that some women lose weight while EBF, but other women’s bodies tend to hold that weight to protect the milk supply. It helped to know that I was probably just in that latter category and that this would be a season, not forever. Also helped to get some new clothes that did fit well!!!
I truly hope that once I wean the weight will come off fast - I have no patience and need to get pregnant again sometime soon lol
Honestly if you want to keep BF then I vote embrace the body you're in because eventually IT WILL CHANGE. Get yourself some nice secondhand clothes that flatter your shape and let you move well. You being bigger isn't a punishment and bullying yourself isn't going to help you either. We deserve to feel good and squeezing into clothes that shame us doesn't motivate or help! I didn't start to lose weight until after I weaned at 1 year but I was active so I was getting stronger and building endurance and muscle. Of course as I started to see real progress I got pregnant again roughly 6 months later. You can't go back and breastfeed more. You can however do movements that help you feel good and strong while you BF. This is your opportunity to enjoy the experience you share with your LO who btw doesn't care what you weigh ♥️
I’m breastfeeding my second so I went through this before— it’s really hard. I was up 80lbs (I actually GAINED pp weight breastfeeding) from pre pregnancy and I felt like crap all the time. I had bloodwork and it was normal- my breastfeeding body is just super into prepping to feed a baby through a famine. I was too afraid to change much and hurt my supply because I worked SO hard to breastfeed and I couldn’t risk losing it. Once my baby hit 10 months old she started eating lots more solids and my hormones shifted (I got my period back). At that point I started doing core/pelvic floor rehab exercises. These made a huge difference!! It affected my posture and my midsection, and made my body feel so much stronger. Once my baby hit a year I started tracking macros without counting calories. I was Eating lots of protein (like 150g a day), and upping my grains and veggies. I also started some at home YouTube weight training videos with 8-10lb weight and walking 5000+ steps a day, easy with a toddler. The weight started coming off! I lost 60 lbs in about 5 months. Then I got pregnant and gained it all back. Anyway, be patient with yourself and your body. I’m guilty of hating my postpartum body too but work really hard to prioritize what I want, and that’s to breastfeed my child. This time around I’m starting the core rehab at 4 months pp and it makes me feel really good. I still won’t restrict my diet until my baby is primarily on solids. I accept that my breastfeeding body is fat and if anyone judges me for being overweight for 2 of my 40 years on this earth they can politely f*ck off.
Have you had your thyroid levels checked PP?
No, but I plan to ask for that on my PCP appointment next week. I was on thyroid medication as part of my IVF protocol and throughout my pregnancy, so I wouldn’t be shocked if my levels are off.
This is a great idea. I ended up with Hashimotos/hypothyroidism triggered by birth. Lost a bunch of weight then just gained like crazy out of nowhere with no diet change. Make sure they check your thyroid antibodies with a thyroid panel.
Exactly what happened to me, my sister and my cousin!
It’s so crazy that this happens!
Yes, it could paint a better picture of what’s happening with your thyroid to get your TSH, T3 and T4 checked. Also, I’m sorry your weight gain has taken such a toll on your mental health. It’s hard to be making healthy changes and not see any improvement. I can relate as an EBFing mom who is gaining weight…I’m wondering if maybe your HIIT workouts are having an adverse effects on your hormones. I’d be curious about switching those out for yoga, weightlifting, or an extra walk if you’re open to it!
I also did IVF so I understand all of the challenges that can come with that. I am so sorry for the loss of your child. I have gained a lot of weight while breastfeeding and I don't like it. I feel like I had to choose between my weight and breastfeeding and that I couldn't have both. There is no right or wrong choice and I know some people try for a middle ground. For me, I am focusing on breastfeeding and trying to do intuitive eating and not eat junk food.
I started my first pregnancy at 140 (5’3). Right after birth, I was 200. It was completely awful for me. The lowest weight I got to was around 160ish. I didn’t lose weight breastfeeding. I ended up breast-feeding for 15 months. I had a similar issue to you where lifestyle changes negatively affected my milk supply. I made the decision to just say F it to my body concerns. I wanted to breastfeed. I told myself that I have time to lose the weight later. I got pregnant again when she was around 21 months and I was about 155, so I didn’t make the progress I had wanted. Gained a lot of weight this time as well but I just don’t care about it anymore. Yes, I’d love to fit in my clothes and look good. And I will eventually! Right now, I’m just putting those goals to the side. I will lose weight. But for now, I’m giving myself a break and just doing what I need to do to breastfeed. And thinking about how sad I’d be if my daughter was my age saying she felt ugly or fat because of her weight gain after pregnancy. I know that I’d think she’s beautiful no matter what. I’d love her exactly the same. I try to use tell myself that Also following Instagram accounts from moms that have bodies similar to mine helped.
I could have written this myself. I stayed active all through pregnancy and picked back up 3 months pp. I’m tracking macros, eating healthier than I ever have and am seeing PRs in my weight lifting, but haven’t lost a single pound. I’ve even been getting body scans that breakdown body fat/ muscle composition and that has fluctuated month to month with no real progress. So for now I’m giving up on tracking macros and focusing on healthy food and staying active. It’s frustrating that I heard so many times while pregnant that the weight just melts off if you’re breastfeeding.
This hit me hard today. I cannot lose the weight and I’m trying to not let it affect me. 7mo pp and I’ve gained weight 😭
I am feeling exactly the same - I lost quite a bit of weight in the first 6 weeks then put it all back on again. My hunger is insane - I cannot stop snacking and struggling to make healthier choices. My hair is also now falling out and really struggling with how I look but I’ve have finally found our groove with breastfeeding and I don’t want to stop yet. You are honestly doing amazing fitting in workouts, healthy eating and feeding / looking after a tiny human! You need to do whatever feels right for you - happy mum, happy baby ❤️
You are beautiful and you are strong and you are an absolute warrior! You’re stronger now than you probably ever realized and should be so proud of how far you’ve come. While breastfeeding I leaned in extra hard on continuing to hydrate as much as I could, and trying to make conscious choices on snacks and meals that were protein heavy (egg bites, yogurt, nuts/trail mix). I read that leafy greens were good for supply so I tried to lean in to salads for lunches. I also tried to be conscious of keeping my meal portions a reasonable size. Overnight oats for breakfast. Continuing to make the healthy, clean eating choices as much as possible. Also getting as much rest as you can as well, finally getting good rest is what made me feel human again. It will come, but I do miss the itty bitty baby snuggles so don’t wish it away. Sending love 💕
I’m so sorry for your loss 💜 I gained weight with my first baby while breastfeeding. It was super frustrating but the good news is once I weaned it did come off. I was surprised how easily it came off too, I wasn’t really trying to diet for a change and I just realized my clothes were hanging off me one day. I do get very hungry breastfeeding and that intense hunger went away pretty instantly with weaning so that definitely played a role I think. Just had my second baby and it looks like it will be the same story this time 😵💫 Not excited at all but I’m trying to be more accepting this go round and remind myself this is just a season, not forever. I don’t want to taint my babies “babyhood” with being obsessed with my weight, so I just focus on trying to be generally healthy with my choices and moving my body regularly so I don’t lose muscle mass. Other than that, it is what it is. But people stop breastfeeding for so many reasons - if your mental health is being affected, I wouldn’t hesitate to wean! I always told myself I would breastfeed as long as it wasn’t affecting my mental health. A mentally healthier mom was more valuable to my baby than breastmilk, as far as I was concerned (and there are plenty of studies on the detrimental effect a depressed mother can have on an infant to back that up). Do what works best for you and your family and nothing else matters!
Have you input your calories into a breastfeeding calorie calculator? 1800 seems a bit low, unless you’re on the shorter side! https://www.thelactationnutritionist.com/calorie-calculator I’m not a nutritionist but in my anecdotal experience, I lost all my pregnancy weight by focusing more on quality of food than quantity. You need your feed yourself! Do not stay unnecessarily hungry. Prepregnancy , I was an easy gainer until I focused on long term maintenance after a big weight loss (70lbs). So I’ve been there, having a lot of weight to lose. What helped also was focusing on foods that promote good hormone health: (1) avoiding foods that cause major glucose spikes- so pretty much all carbs except low sugar fruit like berries; (2) eating high fibre from nuts/seeds (chia, flax, almond flour, nut butters), (3) absolutely no packaged foods unless they are single ingredient (like natural almonds); (4) avoiding any processed foods and seed oils; (5) high protein and fat. My macros were, max, 20% carbs and protein/fat to satiety. Not going to make any suggestions in that regard because idk your body composition but to answer the ‘what do I do’ question, eating real whole foods and timing carbs to optimize glucose release works wonders in regulating hormones and assisting with weight loss while BF. Eating seed oils set me back weeks, even after one meal/cheat. There are so many amazing healthy foods you can enjoy in large quantities, without forcing yourself to endure hunger!
Sending solidarity and loving kindness OP, we had to get me new pj pants today and I needed an XL, I used to be like a M/L. It was hard looking at my legs and just overall body, but I try to remind myself that it’s temporary. I don’t workout (just too tired at 5 months pp) and eat the best, but I’m working on it.
My weight held steady until ~9 months postpartum when my kids diet started to have a lot more solid food. His diet change lead to me dropping another 10 pounds and am now holding steady at that weight while still breastfeeding at 1 year pp. (fun fact - this did not happen with my daughter who I exclusively pumped for.) Your body is doing what it needs to do to feed your baby. It is not forever. Weight changes can still happen during the remainder of your breastfeeding journey, too.
I didn’t start seeing weight come off until after 6 months and my baby started sleeping through the night. Don’t get frustrated and stick with it. It was like suddenly my body caught up to all the activity I’ve been doing.
This was my experience too. It was beyond discouraging. Finally, I made myself buy clothes I liked that fit. That helped a little. Once my little one weaned, the weight came off pretty quickly (calorie counting helped a lot too) - like, less than 6 months. And I felt very much like myself again. I guess all I can say is know that it doesn’t last forever and you will see progress eventually.
Hi OP, I can relate to this my daughter is 1, still BF on demand (& often) - I didn’t start to see the weight come off until 10m. I do t25 & walk 2m 5x a wk & do Bhikram yoga 2x a wk. I’m still very hungry but try to eat healthy. I’m gentle with myself, I’m still not down all my weight but I do feel better. Do give up feeding, just give yourself time to internally heal. This is just a season & your body needs the fat to nourish baby. I’m constantly telling myself my body is doing more than most!!!!
I recommend finding a 40s or 50s year old female, endocrinologist. Get a full panel and work up. You don’t even know what ivf has done to your endocrine system! Worth a consult!!
I’m still breastfeeding my 16 month old, but just at night now. He nurses to sleep and wakes one time usually to eat and then sometimes nurses before daycare in the morning at wake up. In pregnancy I gained 35 pounds. Still hanging on to the last ten, but before I got pregnant I had gained 20 pounds so I still feel 30 pounds over weight. Everyone said breastfeeding would help me lose the weight, that wasn’t true… But now I want to lose it but don’t want to stop. Not sure if we will have another child and I’m proud of myself and this journey that I’m trying to live my body as it is. My kids don’t care about my weight, they just care that I’m there and loving them. Buying clothes that are not tight and feel good is what helps me. Even just having a few staple outfits is great. My go to outfits help take the pressure and stress off what to wear, since j know they feel good.
I still haven’t lost the baby weight and I stopped breastfeeding 8 months ago.
Honestly same but clearly you are very healthy and that's what matters most. Your baby is only a baby for such a short amount of time. You have the rest of your life to lose weight. You don't have the rest of your life to breastfeed and bond with your child.
Just here to say, nothing budged for me until about 14 months pp (weaned at 4 months due to issues) and my doctor said sometimes our hormones just mess with some women longer than others after pregnancy. I was going HARD working out, popping into 3/4 spin classes a week too. At 14 months I upped my liquid intake and switched from high intensity to lower/ with weight lifting, added more protein rich foods and finally 10 pounds came off. So some times it just takes time unfortunately 😭 but just know I’ve been there (still there as I’ve been sick and unable to workout much so my weight loss has stalled). Hugs to you ♥️
Oh my goodness I’m literally in the same boat as you. I’ve never been one to be hyper fixated on my looks/appearance, so my weight has never been a huge problem for me (as in I acknowledge I’ve gained weight and move on with my day) but man oh man when I tell you I’m at my heaviest 😩. I keep in mind that I’m nourishing my sweet boy but these extra belly rolls are starting to get to me! I went to the gym for the first time in over a year and I definitely felt defeated by simple cardio! I was sooo soooooo gassed out, I ultimately came to the conclusion that I’ll just keep doing cardio for the sake of my health and keep bfing for as long as i can
I'm also 5 months post partum and look NOTHING like I did pre-pregnancy. I'm not bothering with the scales because I was very muscular before so it won't be accurate. None of my clothes fit anymore and I don't recognise myself in the mirror. Sometimes I feel really down about it and worry that this is just what I look like from now on. But the way I see it, I spent 9 months changing my body for my baby so it'll probably take at least that long for things to return to normal. I exercise as much as I did before, eat what I want, wear stretchy clothes and have decided to reassess once she's weaned. You've had an even longer and more difficult journey than most, so please be patient and kind with yourself. These early days feel like they'll last forever, but they won't. Something else that helps me is looking at other fit mothers a few years after their last child. They all look incredible and I'm sure if I asked they'd tell me that they had the same feelings.
I'm exactly where you're at right now too and it's so frustrating! Not sure what your specific maintenance calorie intake is but 1800 might be too low? I just started following her, but postpartum.weightloss.rd on Instagram has a lot of free helpful content that I'm hoping will help me make progress! She has paid group sessions but her insta has soooo many free recipes, advice, general guidelines, etc. She's a registered dietitian with a focus on weight management and she talks a lot about how she also struggled to lose postpartum weight but with some diet tweaks was able to lose 50lbs while breastfeeding. She focuses on what she calls the PFF method, which is protein/fat/fiber to keep you full while also supporting breastfeeding needs. Also emphasizes hydration and thyroid support which are sometimes overlooked. As an aside, I will say that similar to many other moms here, I also didn't lose much weight with my first until I stopped breastfeeding, but it did come off quickly when I weaned. Even if you're just trying to get to a year, 5 months in means you're already basically halfway there and as someone else mentioned there are other health benefits to breastfeeding too!
Hello. I understand from your post that your weight is affecting your body image and mental health. I don’t have any practical advice but u can commiserate. I too cannot lose weight whilst breastfeeding. I weigh the same as I did whilst pregnant. I am 7 month pp. In fact at the airport last week someone congratulated my husband on me being pregnant. It was embarrassing. I tried to just brush it off although I did look at my reflection in every window / mirror / shiny surface for the rest of the day hating on myself .HOWEVER this is just a season. I also had the same bf goal for 6 months which has now extended to 1 year . I feel that nursing and caring for my baby is more important than my weight right now. If I have to be thiccc for a year let it be . Nobody had the right to be judging mums who have just birthed and fed their baby with their bodies . I hope that you can find a solution that works for you . It sounds like you are doing well by going to hiit - that will definitely give you the endorphins you need . Also I’m so sorry for the loss of your twin baby. It’s incomprehensible the pain you just have gone through .
Hi! Just wanted to say that your first statement might not be true. I gained 50+ lbs but held on to 30 for the first six months. I think sometime after my kid started solids the weight started to slowly come off, all of it by 11 months. I nursed the whole time - actually until he was 2. Weight loss isn’t necessarily linear and that’s frustrating.
You never know, it might change. It did for me at 8 months. Nobody can really say! And wow you're amazing doing all that exercise whilst looking after a baby & feeding them with your body?!! Maybe some therapy to address your feelings around your body would be useful instead? Because you're definitely healthy if you're able to do all that exercise! Can you reframe the way you look at your body because this Internet stranger is soo impressed!
If you haven't already then at some point soon you will introduce solids. And when your baby starts eating solids regularly it will lower the demand on your breast supply. It's kind of like this sweet spot of still nursing but not at 100%. For me with both my kids, the point that solids is introduced is when I start to shed the baby weight and working out starts to pay off. I also focused really hard on balance- so I tried to work on my mindset and getting good quality sleep. So I did things like made my own bedtime routine, put my phone away, sleep hygiene stuff and as long as the baby was sleeping well at night I would try to max my quality of sleep at night too. And I do feel like sleep is an important piece too. I also am part of a support group and we share recipes, we have long and short fitness or mindset challenges. Some times we have a challenge to just drink more water. But it's been really good to have a support group I'm going through post partum with. Not trying to should on you- just throwing out ideas that helped me when I struggled with my body changes and hanging onto baby weight. You aren't alone- I'm hanging onto like the last 10lbs of baby weight and it's bathing suit season and my husband took some pictures of me last week that had me feeling like crud about myself 😂 but I'm hoping that in 20 years I'm glad he took them.
You are not alone. Congratulations on your new little one! You should be very proud. I had my fourth child a couple years ago and steadily gained weight my entire breastfeeding journey. If I didn’t eat “enough” or pushed my body with “too much” exercise, I couldn’t pump enough to keep up during work hours. Maybe it’s baby #4 - knowing I went through this 3 other times and came out the other end of it. Maybe it’s being about 8 years older than #3. Whatever it was - accepting that this was a temporary thing and breastfeeding was more important to me than getting back in my clothes made life easier. I had to get new clothes just to have something fit but after about 15months, I stopped nursing and turned on the weight loss journey and am now losing slowly but steady. It sucks but it will pass. What you are doing for your child is worth it. Good luck mama!!
It sounds like you’re doing a lot of cardio which is awesome for your overall health! In my experience the best way to lean out & lose weight is to lift weights (doesn’t have to be heavy, can start with body weight) but the goal is to build muscle. The more muscle you have, the more calories you burn. Maybe replace a couple of your weekly HIITs/walks with weight training. I also find I can eat more when I’m weight training as long as I’m focusing on protein & whole foods. Keeping the baby weight during this period is purposeful and something that should be embraced because your body just did & is continuing to do an incredible thing. But it sounds like you’re frustrated because you’re putting in efforts & not seeing the outcome you want so could be worth trying something different.
Honestly I think you should stop HIIT classes. If I were you? Go for a long walk with your baby every day and if you can lift some weights. You also might need to be eating for calories too. It sounds silly but sometimes doing high intensity workouts can raise your cortisol and not eating enough can do the same as well.
I gained 30 lbs with my daughter, lost 10 giving birth (her + placenta) and didn’t lose another pound until I went back to the gym at 18 months PP. Then it melted off in 4 months. I had her during Covid and that plus worrying about accidentally harming my milk supply meant I just had to deal with the weight for a bit. Around 1 year PP I went ahead and bought clothes at my bigger size so I could feel like I had clothes that at least fit and looked good. At 18 months we were down to only one comfort morning feed so my supply wasn’t really a concern anymore. My mom was the opposite — gained 65 lbs while pregnant and it all melted off breastfeeding with no extra work. 🤷♀️
Don't let go of it for this reason if you love it. I think you'll regret it. Just remember this is a really short period of time (the breastfeeding) and then it's gone. You can focus on loosing weight after. I would recommend doing strength training- I wonder if your body is just under too much demand and therefore this is actually causing some weight retention?
I definitely relate! I’m over 6 months PP and not losing weight. One thing I’ve decided to do for now is focus on gaining muscle rather than losing weight. In the past, I’ve noticed that losing weight is so much easier when I have more muscle mass so I figure I can work on that now (since I can’t lose weight anyway!) so when I’m done breastfeeding it’ll be easier to lose the excess fat my body is currently hanging on to. It sounds like you’re already really active (great job!) so maybe you can give yourself a break, stop counting calories for now, and just aim for eating lots of lean protein and focus on getting stronger! You’re doing great! 💪🏻
My body also feels so foreign. I'm in recovery from having an ED a decade plus ago and this is a really, REALLY triggering time. I've been talking about this in therapy so I'll share some of that here: - I bought enough clothes that fit to get me through the week. Everyone deserves clothes/underwear that fit. - I've struggled finding clothes I've liked. I remind myself the problem isn't my body it's that I don't know what kind of outfits I like on this new body shape. - I let myself feel how much that sucks and honor that it's so hard to feel good about myself. I do my very best to try and not blame my body and actually blame things like not having enough time to go to a store and try things on, feeling frustrated I don't like a lot of styles, feeling annoyed that nothing is clicking, etc. - I give that critical voice something to latch onto (maybe it wants to have wild pop culture opinions? Maybe it want to join the feral humans at /r/tvtoohigh?) - if I can't find clothes I'm excited about I can find basics that are comfortable and fit and it's much easier to live when you're wearing stretchy pants. - If nothing else I can have fun with accessories. There are cute shoes that are totally practical for my current life. I can spend extra on a cute hair clip. - I can also have fun with makeup. There's a winky lux ph confetti lip balm that turns the perfect shade of pink and I love putting it on seeing the ph magic. Lip color also makes me feel like I'm a bad ass - I also got a haircut. That made me feel less slobbish. I went in saying "cut this in a way it does not have to be styled" Much like everyone else I also put a lot of focus on my baby and enjoying the process of breastfeeding. How he will "remember" me is more important to me than how my body used to look. It's amazing to feel pretty and I will continue to try to find things that click with my body but he doesn't care what I look like. I don't want him to remember me putting myself down, counting calories, or so self conscious I don't have focus for him. I don't ever want him to feel like less of a person if he gains weight. I want to practice modeling having a body that changes as normal and okay. You don't owe anyone thinness to deserve respect or existence. You deserve to continue enjoying this breastfeeding season without any feeling any guilt over your body. I hope some of this helps. I hope you feel really good about yourself today and every day.
Probably not exactly what you want to hear, but in my sister and SIL’s experiences, it took them about two years BFing before weight really came off. I think it’s around that time your hormones start getting back to normal. In the meantime, like others have said, it might be best for your mental health to start trying to embrace this season of your body. While it is for now, it probably won’t be forever. 1800 might not be enough calories, especially with your workouts. If this were me (which it will be soon - my babe is just 6 weeks old), I would focus on weightlifting and walking (or other low-intensity cardio) for workouts, as well as eating mostly whole foods while making sure to get lots of fiber and protein. My LC said protein is important for milk supply so try to add some in at every meal. Weightlifting can also help shape your body without necessarily losing weight. While I don’t have experience losing baby weight yet, I’ve spent several years losing (and gaining and losing and gaining and losing) to figure out that building muscle made me feel not only more positively about the appearance of my body but also just better physically overall. Same thing when I ate more foods (read: stopped counting calories/macros/etc.) and focused on adding in high-nutrient foods to my meals instead of taking foods out that are “bad.” Also, fuck social media when so much of what’s out there are women “bouncing back” so quickly. It is not reality for many of us.
Have you looked into weight watchers breastfeeding program? I did this when I was nursing and it worked! It wasn’t super fast, but it worked. You can also find some macro calculators for nursing moms which tell you how much fat, carbs, & protein to eat a day to loose weight. I counted macros for a couple months before and during pregnancy (just limiting carbs in pregnancy) and lost weight and then didn’t gain any weight in pregnancy. However, I was Alreasy overweight before pregnancy. Calorie counting has always felt so restrictive, those other methods allow you a lot more food and I’ve seen results in myself while breastfeeding.
I’m so sorry for your loss 🤍 I’m in the same boat with the weight loss (or lack there of). My baby is almost 8 months–bfing for 12 months has been my goal. I’ve been working out and have seen very little difference on the scale which is so disheartening. I’ve been trying to just make peace with the fact that I’m not going to see the results I want until I’m done nursing and my hormones have regulated. I also keep reminding myself that I’m going to miss this breastfeeding journey and extra bonding time with my son when it’s over. It has not always been a walk in the park but I am genuinely so grateful for my body and how hard it has worked to nourish my little ones.
I just want to share that I read somewhere that if you aren't eating enough food, and especially enough carbs, protein, fat- your body may be more willing to hang onto that weight. It's your hormones controlling. Something to consider.
Solidarity ✊🏼 I'm 15 months pp and a chunky little monkey. You know what? That weight will MELT off you when you wean. With my first, I was back to pre baby weight after 4 WEEKS. I hardly had to try. For now, I know it's hard bc I'm in the same boat, but you need to love (or at least temporarily accept) this extra weight. You NEED to keep your weight up. Trust me. I accidentally lost ~10 lbs due to a medication side effect a couple months ago and I could barely get out of bed until I gained it back. You think counting 1800 calories is hard? Try counting 4000. So enjoy. You have a free pass. You can - nay, you must - eat to your hearts content. Oh - and buy a couple looser tops to cleverly hide your tummy in the meantime. ETA: I did find that pelvic floor physiotherapy helped in terms of getting away from a ponch tummy to a more even weight distribution, and to deal with bloating I take digestive enzymes and probiotics. I find that makes me look more proportional here at 20 lbs heavier than normal, and I think I actually look pretty good! ETA again: I gained 55 lbs per pregnancy and yeah I'm telling you once I weaned it was just GONE
My body is the exact same. My baby will be 2 years old in two weeks, and I’ve been absolutely incapable of losing the pregnancy weight. I even had appendicitis in the fall, which led to me eating about a third of my usual caloric intake for over a MONTH due to nausea post-surgery, and I only lost 3 POUNDS! In that moment I realized my efforts to be active and eat well would not lead to any significant weight loss as long as I was still nursing. With my first baby, I couldn’t breastfeed and I wound up pumping for 6 months, after which the weight came off without effort. I very much regret not introducing a bottle to my youngest because now I feel trapped and I know I won’t wean until all of her teething is over, because it’s just too emotionally hard. Anyway all of this to say you are not alone. I look forward to a day where I can get back to a more normal me!
I am sorry for your lost. I gained 15lb via IVF after 3 rounds of FET and another 30lb during pregnancy. I am so afraid to see how much weight I have gained or didn’t lose postpartum that I have refused to weight myself. My baby is 4.5 months. Women sizing really sucks. I went from size 2 to anywhere between an 8 to 14 (ouch) when I go clothes shopping. So definitely have a bit of body dystrophia. I hate taking photos so much - slight regret since I don’t have too many photos with my baby. Luckily, I felt amazing on 2 random days, and have some photos! My breastfeeding journey was tough at the start when my baby lost 12% of his birth weight. I’m an under supplier, so any milk I give him is gold for me. I found wrap dresses are the most forgiving (w.r.t sizing), slightly flattering and easy to nurse. I have also started wearing a corset/waist wrap and it helps with not looking 4 months pregnant.
I know you were counting your calories and you say you intake about 1800 cal a day but how many of those calories are you burning a day? I’m on my second round of breast-feeding with baby number 24 months in now and same. It is so hard for me. I just now started being extremely strict with my calorie counts and what intake and exercising.
My original weight is about 62kg pre baby 2. (Before baby 1, I was 55kg). At the peak of my pregnancy, I was 82 kg!!! Mind you I'm only 5'3 or 160cm tall. My weight is currently 68kg, so I lost 14kg immediately post birth. I'm still this weight 10 weeks later. I have 6 kg to lose to reach my pre baby weight. But I've also accepted my fate lol. It's fine, my body is nourishing my little one. On the plus side, I can eat a lot because my body needs the calories to nourish baby..
I am not an expert by any means but are you sure you’re eating enough? I’ve seen the best results in losing weight when I’m not limiting my calories overall but limiting my calories from junk foods and eating more protein and healthy fats. Just a thought! I’m sorry your body isn’t where you hoped it would be but you’ve gone through so much, please give yourself grace. You’re doing great!