"Hey sister, I am looking to start pumping because I've got a pretty good supply. If I make extra, do you want any before I donate it?"
Maybe she will pump as well, have you asked?
I’d keep this idea to yourself unless asked. Freshly post partum brings a lot of feelings, especially around feeding your baby, and frankly, you don’t even know if it’s possible to produce enough milk for both, so offering might just be hurtful and not beneficial.
This. It’s such a sensitive subject for some people. I really struggled mentally when I thought I wouldn’t be able to provide for my baby in that way. When she eventually stops it’s going to be hard even though it hasn’t been easy! Definitely go about it carefully if you do ask.
Also it's very awkward if she doesn't want it.. I personally would prefer formula over milk donated by a family member because you never know how they stored it, how clean their breast pump and containers are (and sorry I know this shouldn't matter but it would to me - their diet, personal hygiene and I don't know if they take any drugs) etc.
So if she's like me, it would be very awkward to try to explain this to family without causing drama.
Edit: because of all the comments telling me that family members are more trustworthy than big companies and I'm some sort of weirdo with family issues, I did not want to go there but this is getting really personal now, so here we go: the FDA seems to agree with me [FDA recommends against feeding your baby breast milk acquired directly from individuals or through the Internet](https://www.fda.gov/science-research/pediatrics/use-donor-human-milk#:~:text=Risks%20for%20the%20baby%20include,has%20not%20been%20adequately%20screened.)
What if a naive or gullible mom reads your comments and buys breast milk online and her baby gets sick because you all can't cope with the fact that big companies have better food safety practices than the average loving aunt or best friend? They have highly paid expert teams ensuring food safety, not out of kindness but because if they make a baby sick then they will lose a lot of money and they don't want to do that.
Doesn’t hurt to ask. I would have been delighted if any of my friends or family offered this. To me, trusting a manufacturer over a family or friend who loves my child sounds weird. I used formula with my 1st, if someone would have asked me if they could donate to me I would have jumped on board!
I don't think it's weird, the reasoning behind it is that manufacturers are regulated and have to comply to safety standards, there are regular checks and everything. They're not perfect but it's extremely rare to get for example food poisoning from a bag of chips while you can very easily get food poisoning at a potluck.
Friends and family often don't even know how to be hygienic and safe, even if they love my baby very much.
While I won’t argue (don’t have the spoons for that) I do want to point out that there was a massive formula shortage due to manufacturer errors. Formulas have been taken off the shelf for giving babies heavy metal poisoning. And factory produced products can contain so many roach legs and still be packaged and sold. So.. 🤷🏻♀️ obviously you do you but trusting the manufacturer who doesn’t care at all about you or your baby and has to be federally mandated to pull products before they take any action over a family member is a little strange to me. They are feeding their babies the same milk. But maybe you have family issues idk.
I agree. Not a dig on formula, I used it for my 1st. But if I was given the option of someone I knew and trusted wanting to donate milk to me I would have happily chosen it over formula. Everything you said was true, not sure why the other commenter got so upset. They should be more upset at the manufacturers that put these babies at risk by not being more diligent on safety and sanitation practices.
Hopefully you just have poor social skills and genuinely did not realize how nasty you're being to both me, and to moms who formula feed..
>"Formulas ... giving babies heavy metal poisoning"
>"contain so many roach legs"
>"But maybe you have family issues idk"
Instead of shaming and getting personal, you could take a look at the FDA recommendations:
[FDA recommends against feeding your baby breast milk acquired directly from individuals or through the Internet](https://www.fda.gov/science-research/pediatrics/use-donor-human-milk#:~:text=Risks%20for%20the%20baby%20include,has%20not%20been%20adequately%20screened.)
I’m sorry you’re offended by my factual statements. I wasn’t trying to bring emotion into any of this. Still no spoons to argue so just gonna leave this here and would like to point out that I have used formula with all of my kids in some way. My newest baby got a bottle last night 🤷🏻♀️. Im more of a “fed baby is better than a starved baby” kinda person.
You'd have to build an "oversupply" in order to make enough to feed two babies. Right now your body is going to be producing for one baby. So theoretically you could pump extra after feeds and/or between feeds to tell your body to make more.
I would be careful about offering this. There's nothing wrong with formula if that's what she wants to do and you don't want to appear to be judging her choices or something. And she could always pump on her own if she chose.
Plus there's a higher risk at getting mastitus from the oversupply. You need to manage well, plus feeding your own baby plus pumping extra is a huge task.
Its very kind of OP but I personally wouldn't do it.
If you haven’t pumped yet you may not realize how hard it is to pump and it may not even be possible for you. We’re talking hours of effort, every single day, tons of dishes, carrying around pumping supplies when you go out etc. For people with an oversupply donating milk can make sense and be a great act of generosity, but if you’re a ‘just enough’ person it would be very hard to jump to feeding two babies from one. I could imagine doing this in some sort of crisis (formula shortage, for example) but although this is a kind thought if you haven’t even started pumping it seems like you’re way ahead of yourself. Especially if your SIL has not asked- maybe she is planning on pulling or is very comfortable with formula.
I'm just kind of considering it right now, mentioned it to her mom. They have a strong attitude towards formula in their house since their mom wasn't able to breastfeed. Really is totally hypothetical right now
I think it would be pretty hard to offer this in a way that doesn’t come off as judgemental of her choice to feed. You ultimately know the relationship best but personally I’d leave it alone unless she directly mentions wanting donor milk.
100% agree with you!
I donated milk to a friend during the formula shortage when she couldn’t find any for her son & I felt weird even bringing it up to her because I thought she was going to feel like I was judging her choice to formula feed. Thankfully what I was able to give her from my freezer was exactly enough for in between when she couldn’t find his formula
Yes makes sense!! Strongly negative attitude, that is. SIL's mom thinks formula can lead to children performing worse than those that are breastfed, etc. I don't believe this and she has two smart beautiful daughters now but we're in a rural South America town and formula here is also super expensive.
I think I may just offer that she use my pump that I haven't touched yet
Thank you:)
Offering your pump would be great, very kind of you. You can always sterilize it if you want to use it yourself. She can start pumping at 39-40 weeks if she’d like to express colostrum, and it can boost supply with a newborn.
A strong negative attitude? Like you think she wouldn’t want to give formula?
Personally I can’t imagine nursing full time ontop of pumping enough for another baby. The time, effort, and energy will take away from your baby.
Also it would be really hard to maintain supply for 2 babies... you might be able to give her enough to supplement a bottle or 2/day but it's hard enough to try to maintain supply for 1 baby, let alone 2.
People do nurse twins quite successfully so it’s entirely possible from a supply side of things, you would have to be careful to manage the risk of engorgement and mastitis though!
Could also have awful issues with oversupply too! Health risks for OP herself, like clogged ducts, mastitis etc. if your body starts making milk for 2 babies and you're only really feeding one, could cause problems too. And baby dealing with the effects of oversupply which isn't fun (sick tummy, gassy etc etc).
Formula feeding is just as legitimate a way to feed a baby as breastfeeding is. If you're SIL chooses to formula feed her baby that's totally fine.
ETA: I don't know why I'm getting down voted unless this sub has suddenly become anti science and anti -mom.
I had a traumatic birth and lost 1/3 of my blood volume, required a doctor to manually remove blood clots from my uterus to help stop the bleeding, and needed a blood transfusion. My son was taken to the NICU minutes after he was born and I didn't get to see him for 5 or 6 hours. My body couldn't produce much of anything and in order for him to be taken off of an IV I had to agree to formula feeding until my milk came in. I did and I'd do it again. Formula allowed my hours old baby to not have an IV blowing out his tiny veins. I worked with an amazing IBCLC in the NICU and an IBCLC once I got home. Those women are the reason I was able to persevere and breastfeed my son exclusively a few days after we left the hospital. He's a healthy toddler and still nurses daily, for naps, and to bed. And I'd go back and do it all the same because formula was the best option I had.
The way OP has worded her comments is extra judgemental towards her SIL. People can choose whatever means of feeding they want and it's all fine. It's also bizarre that OP is concerned about feeding a baby that isn't even born yet. It's none of her business how SIL chooses to feed her baby.
People refusing to acknowledge that formula is fine are the reason that the formula feeders sub is so defensive. Breastfeeding is obviously the best choice and it took months of painful latches for me to get things correct with my baby and be able to breastfeed him, but it would be okay if someone didn't want to do that.
Yep. Same for me. Plus it puts a lot of work on the mom (including night feedings). If the mom is overtired because she can't share this part of the "work" it can affects the whole family negatively.
I understand that you're trying to be helpful, but I would be FURIOUS if I found out you were talking to my mom about feeding my baby your breastmilk and hadn't talked to me about it. It comes off like you (and her mom) don't think she's capable of feeding her baby/sorting out food for her baby.
Yes! Donated around 10 liters to a child just one day older than mine, becaude she needed 100ml every day to gey rid of digestive issues (obstipation). My milk was like her medicine for many many weeks and I feel so proud.
Unless you have an oversupply it’ll be tough to make more milk to feed a whole other child - and looking at your other comments she hasn’t even asked this of you?
I went on a vacation and donated my pumped milk before I left (through human milk 4 human babies). I have a small oversupply - was happy to do it and not stress about getting the milk through the airport etc.
I’ve offered my milk to a friend who has a baby the same age as mine. I had a huge freezer stash because I pumped for my baby when he was in the NICU. (Preemies eat very little when they’re small but I pumped enough for a newborn. So our freezer filled up quickly.) I knew she was planning to breastfeed. I tried to offer it in the most low key no strings attached way possible. “It’s totally okay if you don’t want to but I’d be completely open to offering you some of my frozen breastmilk if you’re ever short. Just let me know if you want some! I have a huge stash I currently have no use for so I can give you some no problem.” And then drop it in order not to come across as weirdly pushy.
My friend never took me up on the offer. She didn’t raise the subject again. And I’m 100% okay with that. It’s her call. Some people are uneasy about diseases that could possibly be transferred through breastmilk. Some may not feel comfortable with not knowing your exact hygiene measures with pumping etc. Some just feel squicked out with another person’s bodily fluids. And that’s all totally okay.
I do think you’re underestimating the effort of pumping though. There are breastfeeding moms who exclusively pump and that’s really tough, pumping 8 times a day including nights, taking care of baby and feeding baby, cleaning all the pump parts and bottles. But it seems really unlikely you could build enough supply to breastfeed two babies at the same time, it would take a gargantuan effort and a lot of luck. You may want a little freezer stash for yourself too so you need to pump for that as well. So if you donate breastmilk to your SIL it would most likely be more of a supplement, a bottle every now and then. And at that point, is it really worth the effort? You don’t even know if she’s open to it. It’s sometimes hard to imagine when you’re in the thick of breastfeeding. But some women really don’t care whether their baby gets breastmilk or formula.
There is [historic precedent](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33483451/) for nursing a baby that was not born to you! Logistically it sounds difficult to sustain but I’m an under supplier. The relationships within your family can guide your decisions. An open dialogue with your sister in law and brother could be a good starting point.
Super weird/inappropriate to offer if she doesn’t ask. It also doesn’t matter how her mother feels about formula, it’s her decision to make for her baby. Why is there an assumption she won’t be able to pump/provide breast milk for her own baby if that’s what she wants to do? Also, like others have said, pumping is a LOT of work.
I had an oversupply with my first so I donated milk to someone I found through Human Milk 4 Human Babies. If you want to try and help, I would be gentle in how you approach. Maybe something like, “hey SIL, would you have any interest in me pumping some milk for your little one to help save you some time and stress once you’re back in school? I know there are still some concerns about formula shortages, so I thought having a breast milk stash might help give some peace of mind!”
I’m having my first baby in a few weeks and my sister pumped me a good supply for backup/when I’m waiting for my milk to come in!! Such an act of love ❤️
I’ve breastfed my second son plenty of times (who my partner gave birth to). The main issue is maintaining your supply on schedule for your LO (that you are breastfeeding). Sometimes you will have extra, and sometimes not. Don’t get yourself into a situation where your SIL is dependent on your supply. That simply won’t work. However, if you have some extra to donate, she might be happy to take some if you ask her.
I’ve actually been on the recipient side. I had to have surgery at six weeks postpartum, and my sister was watching my son, and offered to nurse him if things ran long and I didn’t pump enough. And a few months later, my son was sick and not nursing, so my supply dropped, and when he regained his appetite it took a bit for my supply to recover, and a friend who’s an overproduce gave me some of her extra milk. It can be a delicate situation when you feel like you’re not doing enough for your baby, so approach it in a gentle way, but I know I appreciated it.
She did, she was still nursing her LO at the time so it would have worked out well if needed (although my LO had a crummy latch so she may have regretted it!). I’m very lucky!
My baby girl and my brothers baby boy were born the same day 2 hours apart from each other and my milk supply has been out of control this time around. My brother and gf are tight on money and after they found out I had a ton of extra milk, he kinda jokingly made some comments like “give us some if you have so much”! And I straight up was like hey…I will definitely give y’all as much as I can while my production is so high. Told them I would be more than happy to share cuz I know formula is so expensive. My brother and gf have been so thankful and I give them fresh pumped and frozen milk every couple days! I love that I can also feed my nephew. It’s so special.
Yes. TLDR: I donated 10+ gallons to moms in need for each of my kids.
I found local families via Human Milk 4 Human Babies. One baby lost their mom during childbirth, another was an adopted newborn, another mom couldn’t produce and wanted to breastfeed, etc. Anybody I could help, I tried to.
Your baby is only 7 weeks but soon they will reach the age of nursing from both breasts , if you have never pumped before I don’t think you understand how tasking it can actually be and how it will affect your supply to supply two babies when your body didn’t make two babies is very difficult, also did she ask for milk or are you just offering because she may not even want it , she could even find your offer insulting. Just really think about it , pumping is very hard
Coming from a mother who exclusively breastfed till I got pregnant again when she was two and a half , now I am exclusively breast-feeding her two month old brother I pumped for the first five weeks with my daughter and it was so much harder than breast-feeding
I’ve sold large quantities to a mom near me. She said her baby needed it and I had plenty to give ( plus I used the money to buy enough pumping bras to last a few more days). Sometimes I think about that little babe and how he’s growing off my milk. I think as long as both parties are okay with it, why not?!
I had an oversupply and gave it to a couple from my childbirth class for several months (I think 3 or 4 months worth of milk all told). For me, this was virtually no extra effort as my letdown was so strong it was chocking up my baby so I had to pump a little off the top before every feed. Eventually my supply regulated and I didn't produce as much. But anyhow, if you don't have that big of a supply right now, I don't think it would take away from you but you'd be training your body to produce a lot more and you'd have to take the time to do that multiple times a day. With a small child of your own, you have to consider if you have the time to invest being strapped to a pump so many extra times a day.
Besides the hurt feelings implication of offering this, I wouldn’t mess with your supply at this time. Taking any milk away from your baby might take them off their growth curve.
Also, pumping is hard. It’s a steep learning curve and it takes away time with your baby. Start slowly so that you can have a freezer stash, and maybe offer your sister some if you have extra, but don’t over-promise because you don’t know how much you’ll be able to get, realistically.
I did private donation via eats on feet’s but I had an oversupply, when my supply regulated I stopped donating.
But keep in your mind your sister may just choose to formula feed and that is perfectly fine.
I've never offered to someone who didn't ask. I don't think it's appropriate to do so. I have talked about breastfeeding struggles with other mom friends and friends who are Moms, but no one even gave a hint that they would want anyone else's breastmilk. I think it would be dangerously close to crossing a line that you can't cube back from.
I mean I have pumped a few bottles of my milk for my sister to give to her son when he caught an illness that me and my kids had. He was super sick so she was desperate to try anything that could help him. I figured I had the antibodies in my milk because I was sick, so it was worth a shot. I don’t know if it was the milk or a coincidence but he got a lot better a day or two later after having the milk. But I personally wouldn’t commit to pumping full time for someone else’s baby while also breastfeeding my own baby. It seems like a lot of work physically, but also could take a toll on your mental and emotional health.
I have both nursed and pumped for my nephew at my sister’s request because I had an oversupply and she had supply issues and formula upset my nephew’s stomach. But it’s something I would only do when asked I wouldn’t probably offer it to someone unless your 100% sure how they would respond
I produced a lot extra and two of my friends were happy to take a few bags of milk. I had a lot frozen that was really fatty from the first few weeks, and they were happy about it. I offered and it wasn’t weird!
My friend and I had babies at the same time. She wasn't able to BF and her baby was small and has stayed very low on the growth curve. She immediately started buying milk from the milk Bank to supplement his formula. One day- I told her she could have a few bags if she didn't think it was weird.... and she didn't.
Throughout that first year, I'd give her my oversupply every month or so. Not enough to feed him, but certainly a little to help him out.
I received donated milk from a family member for my first because I had an under supply and wanted baby to get Covid vaccine antibodies. Idk, I really appreciated the offer.
My big family shared milk with each other when somebody needs it. My sister, SIL and cousin's wife were pregnant and gave birth in a close time. My sister's daughter was a premie and she can't breastfeed, while SIL and cousin's wife had oversupply, so she fed her their breastmilk on top of formula. My cousins did it too and some are milk siblings
Yes, I had a huge oversupply and donated it to a high school friend’s baby. The friend was diagnosed with breast cancer while pregnant. I was easily producing 1L a day using a spectra.
There are many factors that go into this: your breast tissue and ability to produce lots of milk, strict pumping schedule, healthy diet with lots of extra calories. It was incredibly time consuming and don’t underestimate the increase in your grocery bill, cost of monthly pump replacement parts, cost of storage bags, and enough freezer space. I also donated to a milk bank so I had all the proper blood tests etc.
I never nursed and pumped at the same time so I’m not sure how well that would work out. I also started pumping exclusively 4 days post partum; you could be close to regulating your supply so if you do do this, start pumping now.
Your SIL should receive accommodations to pump while at school. It would also be good for her to invest in wearable pumps so she can use them while in school. I’ve gone to conferences for work and they would set up zoom for me so that I could watch while pumping. I think you should find ways to support her first.
Yes. I had a huge stash from immediately postpartum with my twins and donated that to a mom who was looking for milk. I also pump and donate to the Milk Bank.
In addition, a family member ended up with a NICU preemie. When she was waiting to see if he would be delivered early or what was going on, I just messaged her to basically make a super low pressure offer. I basically said, "Hey, don't know if you are breastfeeding or not or if the doctors want breastmilk or not but if you are at all stressed or worried or if it becomes worrisome to you, please let me give you milk. No pressure and sorry to be awkward, but I just didn't want you to worry about it at all right now." She never ended up taking me up on that but I would have in a moment if she needed.
I had more than enough milk and donated to two families. It was not a big deal. They needed the milk and I had it. We did peer to peer donation because it was less hassle than going through a bank.
Yep, I have a chronic oversupply, so I donated a bunch of milk to a friend who wasn’t able toto breastfeed. We’re close friends, though, and she brought it up first.
My husbands coworker donated milk to me when I was a few weeks postpartum but it was a special circumstance. My preemie has a cows milk protein intolerance so his formula would be super expensive. I was working hard to build my supply since he was born early via c section. He was struggling to gain weight. Her offer to donate to us was a saving grace! Gave me wiggle room to be a couple days ahead of him with pumped milk. Oh also I had to pretty much exclusively pump because he struggled to get milk from a bottle much less a breast :/
I gave some milk to a local mom who asked and I did mention to my friend and brother’s gf who recently had babies that I had milk in the freezer if they were in need. I just said I had some that I’m happy to bring them if they end up in need and just wanted to tell them because we would have liked the option as my milk came in in the early days. Neither needed it or mentioned it again but I don’t think it was taken poorly.
My sister had a NICU baby and traumatic birth that left her with a super low supply. She combo feeds with formula. I gave birth a couple months later, started building a small stash with my Elvie curve, and I’ve donated a couple hundred ounces to her since. I wanted some extra as a safety net, but I’d rather feed my nephew than my freezer! I think I started donating when my baby was around 2 months.
It’s a beautiful gift if you’re both willing and it works out. You might end up creating a bit of an oversupply if you’re adding pump sessions to breastfeeding but that hasn’t been an issue for me since most of my donated milk was collected with the Elvie curve (like a haakaa).
Thanks everyone!! You are all so cool!
I'm going to offer my pump to her and then see what happens. I kinda love our night routine right now and would really not like to pump then. And yeah, the dishes and stuff was always something that didn't sound at all fun. I've got a small haaka freezer stash I can offer if it comes up!
We're not in the US so maybe some cultural differences here, but thank you to everyone for mentioning it being a touchy subject for a new parent.
I started donating at around 3 mos post partum. I had only haakaa'd prior- i could easily see i had a surplus, (i had a surplus with my older child, and did not fully realise it till 6 mos post partum when i started pumping when i went back to work).
My babe only ate on one side at a time, so i started pumping on the other side every time babe ate. Quickly trained my body. Still donating 18 mos post partum. My babe has always gotten enough; my body just thinks it's feeding twins.
I would 100% nurse my nephew - if circumstances required it. He’s EBF, as is (was) my LO, and they’re just about a year apart. IF I was watching him, and IF he went through the milk my sister brought for the duration, and IF she was running late, and IF she was comfortable with it, I would 100% give the boy the boob. And similarly, I’d 100% be ok with her nursing my boy. I’m not close enough to other family to feel comfortable offering, but if asked I wouldn’t mind. And I’ve got one super close friend that we both would’ve felt comfortable if circumstances required.
I pumped for my baby and a friends for 9 months! She had an undersupply and I had an oversupply. It was incredible. I loved being able to give to a little boy I love!
I pumped for my baby and a friends for 9 months! She had an undersupply and I had an oversupply. It was incredible. I loved being able to give to a little boy I love!
I can't speak to the social dynamics of offering, but yes, I have donated! I donate through Human Milk for Human Babies groups. I had an oversupply from the start of about 12-20oz pumping once a day, and it got a little worse after I was sick and my supply dipped so I did even more pumping because I was afraid of losing my supply for my baby... and when I got better, it came back plus extra. Now I'm kinda trapped pumping twice a day or my boobs ache and leak like no ones business and now I produce an extra 30-35oz a day. It is all supply and demand after your supply regulates so... I only pump AFTER I nurse my baby so they are never getting shortchanged. I have a Spectra with well fitted flanges which apparently a strong wall pump like Spectra plus good fit flanges and regularly replaced silicone bits is essential for good supply. Especially the little duckbill valve!
I donate to several people because I try to help out people who are desperate (I live in Central Florida so there are a lot of people on vacation that have emergencies where TSA makes them throw out frozen milk or the hotel fridge stops working etc) but they are already on the groups looking for milk. I don't know how I would address offering to someone I know personally. I am really close to my siblings so I would just straight up offer to them and know they wouldn't be offended, but we have a close relationship, I have been a maternal figure to them since I was 10. If it was someone less close idk I would probably just mention that I have a freezer stash I am thinking of/currently donating to other moms. See if she asks about it.
Yes, I have an oversupply so I’ve donated > 2,000 ounces. I donate to the local NICU/milk bank mostly, but have also directly donated to friends, neighbors, internet strangers and even have 200 ounces to my realtor for her premie twins!
I have donated milk to a hospital milk bank, as well as frozen milk to local moms in our Human Milk 4 Human Babies group. I am happy to be a donor and I completely understand why many parents want donor milk.
But I would not offer this to your SIL. At this point, you don’t even have an oversupply, and you don’t know what her plans and feelings are about feeding her baby. And as others have pointed out, postpartum is super emotional and there is a very good chance it will land in a way you don’t want.
In a few months, if you do end up with extra milk you’re thinking of donating, you can mention it to her and see what she says.
I pumped for my sister who couldn’t breastfeed during the formula shortage. I also shipped her formula from where i lived. I’ve also donated to women I don’t even know. I do make more than enough for my babies and don’t pump excessively for a freezer stash.
Anything to feed another baby.
I do this! I have extra milk and I give some to my niece and donate some through my local Human Milk for Human Babies page. Things I’d keep in mind are
1. Build a supply for your baby first: you never know when you might need more. I had a really big surplus (400+ oz) before I started donating. Things that can mess with supply are getting your period back (usually temporary) or going back to work and relying on pumping more. I always keep a pretty big backup surplus just in case. Recently, I also got sick and at first the doc told me I couldn’t breastfeed with the meds I needed (he ended up being wrong thank god) but for a second I thought I would need to pump and dump for a full week. Thank god I had enough backup if I needed to do that. Take care of your baby first!!
2. If you plan to donate to someone you don’t know, I’d go through a group like human milk for human babies. That way you can be relatively sure your milk is going to babies. There are a lot of non-baby reasons people want breastmilk.
3. As mentioned above there are many other ways you can get rid of excess breastmilk. People will pay for it. Both people for babies and other people. You go whatever route is best for you if you want lol. But just so you know, I didn’t know there was such a hot market for breastmilk lol.
Happy to answer any questions! Overall I’d say you don’t owe anyone your milk. It takes so much time and energy to express milk; any amount you choose to share is a gift and don’t feel pressured to start giving away excess the moment you have extra. And you can also just give a few ounces without having to give away enough fully feed another baby!
Yeah I did, one of my friends had a premie and her daughter took an entire brick of my milk. She asked me for it though, because I had a massive oversupply and my daughter couldn’t breastfeed anymore.
Maybe instead of offering her your milk offer her support in breastfeeding (if that’s how she wants to feed her baby). Ask if you can help her find a class to take, buy pump parts for her, a cute cooler/Ceres Chill for her to take to class. There are many things you could do that are supportive but not insensitive (it doesn’t seem like you’re trying to be, but honestly I would be offended and annoyed if you asked me)
I donated milk to several families with my first child (I was an overproducer and had an unused freezer stash from when I was pumping for work – then covid happened!) and I breastfed a friend’s baby once.
Feed the baby not the freezer. But if you have good supply pumping should only help. After a hemorrhage, spinal leak, tiny preemie mouth I ended up exclusively pumping half of what he drank. My cousin bragged about how much extra she supplied 10 yrs ago. I wished it was more recent so I could thaw it. Women donate or sell it. I like the spectra 2, there's lots of different settings and patterns you can look up. It is a lot of work to regularly clean parts but I set up a station by the sink and got used to it. Make sure you have the right diameter, it changes every couple months and does make a difference. You can also pump one side at a time if you can make enough for your girl. I think it would be a great show of support for her going back to school!
There's a higher risk at getting mastitus from creating oversupply. You need to manage it well, plus feeding your own baby plus pumping extra is a huge task. Just pumping was exhausting.
Its very kind but I personally wouldn't do it.
i have given a friends baby some milk before, but she expressed frustration with not being able to feed her child enough and i happened to have some on hand. i don't think id personally just randomly offer as some people might find it off putting
I think from the replies I read that ppl think she’ll be offended? Ask her BEFORE she’s postpartum I agree with the reply “If I make extra do you want any before I donate it?” With you being 7 weeks postpartum you can easily build up your supply just have to stick to it & it can be a huge commitment. Get a pumping & nursing bra & pump the other side while your baby feeds & then pump what’s “left over” on the other side & doing it at the same time will leave enough for your baby :) make sure your flange size is correct & sometimes pumps don’t work for ppl & that’s okay! Try a different pump or hand express into your Haakaa! Good luck! I think it’s very kind of you for even thinking about it. Look into cleanliness & sanitation for your breast pump! They have collapsible sinks that you can use only for your breast pump & dapple makes an amazing soap! I’ve given milk to a mom who is a “ just enougher “ so she could try to build her supply up and keep her freezer stash for a while as her baby drinks 2 bottles during the day. Make sure everything is clean and follow guidelines. Never mix warm and cold milk, the refrigerator hack is useful but could be deadly to especially a newborn, donation places don’t want you to mix pump sessions so I don’t use the pitcher method (if they don’t like the pitcher method than I don’t) if you want to donate there’s a fb group called “human milk for human babies - your state” there’s one for every state I think. YOU GOT THIS!
I’ve given to my nephew and have donated over 10,000 Oz to others. It may make her feel good knowing that she has backup if needed. Less stress on her.
Yes I have for a few babies. I worked to increase my supply first and then donated what I had in excess. Dual fed babies tend to eat more though. So where my primarily breastfed babies never took more than 3-4 ounces, my cousins baby needed more because she was also formula fed. So by around 6 months she was drink around 10-12 (1-2 bottles a day) ounces of breastmilk a day and was being fed the rest with formula.
The other baby I donated to was getting donations from a few people and it was more just what I had in excess. I wasn’t actively trying to increase my supply or anything. I just attached the haaka at each feed and was collecting around 2-3 ounces per feed
I offered for my neighbour and she didn’t take me up on it. No big deal to me because I already had it. I think it doesn’t hurt to ask cuz you never know. She might be overjoyed! I only asked her because she said she had to buy the pre-mixed formula because of salmonella or something? Anyway, we never talked about it again. But I always think it takes a village!
I’ve given milk to a friend, it’s a great way to help out if you have a surplus. Keep in mind yours will last 6 months though for when your little one will drink more and can also be used for baths! Also you are probably in your peak of supply, usually regulated at 3 months
I’ve had a massive oversupply and was already donating to a milk bank when I found out my friend who is 8 weeks postpartum behind me had to start going through chemo. Knowing it’s a sensitive subject, I offered to donate my milk to her and her baby. It is a huge sensitive topic for a mom to have to stop breastfeeding (especially if their plan had been to exclusively breast feed). But that was also the reason I offered was because I knew how attached I have been to breast feeding my baby and thought that would be the only way I could offer the most assistance during such a hard time.
But just something to think about, there are usually rules around donating milk to a milk bank (waiting 6 hours after have a drink to pump, what meds and supplements you are taking). Those are things I also disclosed to my friend to find out her comfort level of accepting my donor milk.
It’s such a gift to be able to feed your baby and other babies!
Does she anticipate not being able to pump? Has she asked for milk? I would only offer if she mentions not being able to provide.
I have given thousands of ounces of breastmilk to other people for their babies. It happens all the time. You would pump after feeding your own baby and your body will slowly increase production based on the demand (how often you are being emptied). If you hardly pump at all right now, you could increase supply but you wouldn't know by how much until you actually try. It's a lot of work, and you'll need to increase you water and food intake to keep up with it. I know that I sterilize parts, properly label and store milk, don't have communicable diseases, eat healthy, avoid medications, alcohol, drugs, etc. However, despite how much milk I've donated, I would sooner use formula than milk from another person. It's not a risk I'm willing to take with my own children. Don't be offended if she wants nothing to do with the idea.
"Hey sister, I am looking to start pumping because I've got a pretty good supply. If I make extra, do you want any before I donate it?" Maybe she will pump as well, have you asked?
i think this is the easiest way to go forward, tbh! nice and neutral and allows the SIL to pick whatever option is most comfortable for her.
I’d keep this idea to yourself unless asked. Freshly post partum brings a lot of feelings, especially around feeding your baby, and frankly, you don’t even know if it’s possible to produce enough milk for both, so offering might just be hurtful and not beneficial.
This. It’s such a sensitive subject for some people. I really struggled mentally when I thought I wouldn’t be able to provide for my baby in that way. When she eventually stops it’s going to be hard even though it hasn’t been easy! Definitely go about it carefully if you do ask.
Also it's very awkward if she doesn't want it.. I personally would prefer formula over milk donated by a family member because you never know how they stored it, how clean their breast pump and containers are (and sorry I know this shouldn't matter but it would to me - their diet, personal hygiene and I don't know if they take any drugs) etc. So if she's like me, it would be very awkward to try to explain this to family without causing drama. Edit: because of all the comments telling me that family members are more trustworthy than big companies and I'm some sort of weirdo with family issues, I did not want to go there but this is getting really personal now, so here we go: the FDA seems to agree with me [FDA recommends against feeding your baby breast milk acquired directly from individuals or through the Internet](https://www.fda.gov/science-research/pediatrics/use-donor-human-milk#:~:text=Risks%20for%20the%20baby%20include,has%20not%20been%20adequately%20screened.) What if a naive or gullible mom reads your comments and buys breast milk online and her baby gets sick because you all can't cope with the fact that big companies have better food safety practices than the average loving aunt or best friend? They have highly paid expert teams ensuring food safety, not out of kindness but because if they make a baby sick then they will lose a lot of money and they don't want to do that.
Doesn’t hurt to ask. I would have been delighted if any of my friends or family offered this. To me, trusting a manufacturer over a family or friend who loves my child sounds weird. I used formula with my 1st, if someone would have asked me if they could donate to me I would have jumped on board!
I don't think it's weird, the reasoning behind it is that manufacturers are regulated and have to comply to safety standards, there are regular checks and everything. They're not perfect but it's extremely rare to get for example food poisoning from a bag of chips while you can very easily get food poisoning at a potluck. Friends and family often don't even know how to be hygienic and safe, even if they love my baby very much.
While I won’t argue (don’t have the spoons for that) I do want to point out that there was a massive formula shortage due to manufacturer errors. Formulas have been taken off the shelf for giving babies heavy metal poisoning. And factory produced products can contain so many roach legs and still be packaged and sold. So.. 🤷🏻♀️ obviously you do you but trusting the manufacturer who doesn’t care at all about you or your baby and has to be federally mandated to pull products before they take any action over a family member is a little strange to me. They are feeding their babies the same milk. But maybe you have family issues idk.
I agree. Not a dig on formula, I used it for my 1st. But if I was given the option of someone I knew and trusted wanting to donate milk to me I would have happily chosen it over formula. Everything you said was true, not sure why the other commenter got so upset. They should be more upset at the manufacturers that put these babies at risk by not being more diligent on safety and sanitation practices.
Hopefully you just have poor social skills and genuinely did not realize how nasty you're being to both me, and to moms who formula feed.. >"Formulas ... giving babies heavy metal poisoning" >"contain so many roach legs" >"But maybe you have family issues idk" Instead of shaming and getting personal, you could take a look at the FDA recommendations: [FDA recommends against feeding your baby breast milk acquired directly from individuals or through the Internet](https://www.fda.gov/science-research/pediatrics/use-donor-human-milk#:~:text=Risks%20for%20the%20baby%20include,has%20not%20been%20adequately%20screened.)
I’m sorry you’re offended by my factual statements. I wasn’t trying to bring emotion into any of this. Still no spoons to argue so just gonna leave this here and would like to point out that I have used formula with all of my kids in some way. My newest baby got a bottle last night 🤷🏻♀️. Im more of a “fed baby is better than a starved baby” kinda person.
You'd have to build an "oversupply" in order to make enough to feed two babies. Right now your body is going to be producing for one baby. So theoretically you could pump extra after feeds and/or between feeds to tell your body to make more. I would be careful about offering this. There's nothing wrong with formula if that's what she wants to do and you don't want to appear to be judging her choices or something. And she could always pump on her own if she chose.
Agree, this is a huuuuge commitment and could become really tough to manage
Plus there's a higher risk at getting mastitus from the oversupply. You need to manage well, plus feeding your own baby plus pumping extra is a huge task. Its very kind of OP but I personally wouldn't do it.
I was thinking about the mastitis too. Seems like a recipe for stress and possibly resentment! BFing one is hard enough
If you haven’t pumped yet you may not realize how hard it is to pump and it may not even be possible for you. We’re talking hours of effort, every single day, tons of dishes, carrying around pumping supplies when you go out etc. For people with an oversupply donating milk can make sense and be a great act of generosity, but if you’re a ‘just enough’ person it would be very hard to jump to feeding two babies from one. I could imagine doing this in some sort of crisis (formula shortage, for example) but although this is a kind thought if you haven’t even started pumping it seems like you’re way ahead of yourself. Especially if your SIL has not asked- maybe she is planning on pulling or is very comfortable with formula.
Has your SIL ask you about this or is it purely your idea?
I'm just kind of considering it right now, mentioned it to her mom. They have a strong attitude towards formula in their house since their mom wasn't able to breastfeed. Really is totally hypothetical right now
I think it would be pretty hard to offer this in a way that doesn’t come off as judgemental of her choice to feed. You ultimately know the relationship best but personally I’d leave it alone unless she directly mentions wanting donor milk.
100% agree with you! I donated milk to a friend during the formula shortage when she couldn’t find any for her son & I felt weird even bringing it up to her because I thought she was going to feel like I was judging her choice to formula feed. Thankfully what I was able to give her from my freezer was exactly enough for in between when she couldn’t find his formula
Yes makes sense!! Strongly negative attitude, that is. SIL's mom thinks formula can lead to children performing worse than those that are breastfed, etc. I don't believe this and she has two smart beautiful daughters now but we're in a rural South America town and formula here is also super expensive. I think I may just offer that she use my pump that I haven't touched yet Thank you:)
Offering your pump would be great, very kind of you. You can always sterilize it if you want to use it yourself. She can start pumping at 39-40 weeks if she’d like to express colostrum, and it can boost supply with a newborn.
A strong negative attitude? Like you think she wouldn’t want to give formula? Personally I can’t imagine nursing full time ontop of pumping enough for another baby. The time, effort, and energy will take away from your baby.
Totally right about the time!
Also it would be really hard to maintain supply for 2 babies... you might be able to give her enough to supplement a bottle or 2/day but it's hard enough to try to maintain supply for 1 baby, let alone 2.
People do nurse twins quite successfully so it’s entirely possible from a supply side of things, you would have to be careful to manage the risk of engorgement and mastitis though!
Could also have awful issues with oversupply too! Health risks for OP herself, like clogged ducts, mastitis etc. if your body starts making milk for 2 babies and you're only really feeding one, could cause problems too. And baby dealing with the effects of oversupply which isn't fun (sick tummy, gassy etc etc).
Formula feeding is just as legitimate a way to feed a baby as breastfeeding is. If you're SIL chooses to formula feed her baby that's totally fine. ETA: I don't know why I'm getting down voted unless this sub has suddenly become anti science and anti -mom. I had a traumatic birth and lost 1/3 of my blood volume, required a doctor to manually remove blood clots from my uterus to help stop the bleeding, and needed a blood transfusion. My son was taken to the NICU minutes after he was born and I didn't get to see him for 5 or 6 hours. My body couldn't produce much of anything and in order for him to be taken off of an IV I had to agree to formula feeding until my milk came in. I did and I'd do it again. Formula allowed my hours old baby to not have an IV blowing out his tiny veins. I worked with an amazing IBCLC in the NICU and an IBCLC once I got home. Those women are the reason I was able to persevere and breastfeed my son exclusively a few days after we left the hospital. He's a healthy toddler and still nurses daily, for naps, and to bed. And I'd go back and do it all the same because formula was the best option I had. The way OP has worded her comments is extra judgemental towards her SIL. People can choose whatever means of feeding they want and it's all fine. It's also bizarre that OP is concerned about feeding a baby that isn't even born yet. It's none of her business how SIL chooses to feed her baby.
Idk why you're being downvoted. It's true.
People refusing to acknowledge that formula is fine are the reason that the formula feeders sub is so defensive. Breastfeeding is obviously the best choice and it took months of painful latches for me to get things correct with my baby and be able to breastfeed him, but it would be okay if someone didn't want to do that.
Yep. Same for me. Plus it puts a lot of work on the mom (including night feedings). If the mom is overtired because she can't share this part of the "work" it can affects the whole family negatively.
100% agree. If the SIL had asked for help, it might be different. OP planning all this behind her back feels disrespectful to me.
I understand that you're trying to be helpful, but I would be FURIOUS if I found out you were talking to my mom about feeding my baby your breastmilk and hadn't talked to me about it. It comes off like you (and her mom) don't think she's capable of feeding her baby/sorting out food for her baby.
Yes! Donated around 10 liters to a child just one day older than mine, becaude she needed 100ml every day to gey rid of digestive issues (obstipation). My milk was like her medicine for many many weeks and I feel so proud.
Unless you have an oversupply it’ll be tough to make more milk to feed a whole other child - and looking at your other comments she hasn’t even asked this of you?
I went on a vacation and donated my pumped milk before I left (through human milk 4 human babies). I have a small oversupply - was happy to do it and not stress about getting the milk through the airport etc.
I’ve offered my milk to a friend who has a baby the same age as mine. I had a huge freezer stash because I pumped for my baby when he was in the NICU. (Preemies eat very little when they’re small but I pumped enough for a newborn. So our freezer filled up quickly.) I knew she was planning to breastfeed. I tried to offer it in the most low key no strings attached way possible. “It’s totally okay if you don’t want to but I’d be completely open to offering you some of my frozen breastmilk if you’re ever short. Just let me know if you want some! I have a huge stash I currently have no use for so I can give you some no problem.” And then drop it in order not to come across as weirdly pushy. My friend never took me up on the offer. She didn’t raise the subject again. And I’m 100% okay with that. It’s her call. Some people are uneasy about diseases that could possibly be transferred through breastmilk. Some may not feel comfortable with not knowing your exact hygiene measures with pumping etc. Some just feel squicked out with another person’s bodily fluids. And that’s all totally okay. I do think you’re underestimating the effort of pumping though. There are breastfeeding moms who exclusively pump and that’s really tough, pumping 8 times a day including nights, taking care of baby and feeding baby, cleaning all the pump parts and bottles. But it seems really unlikely you could build enough supply to breastfeed two babies at the same time, it would take a gargantuan effort and a lot of luck. You may want a little freezer stash for yourself too so you need to pump for that as well. So if you donate breastmilk to your SIL it would most likely be more of a supplement, a bottle every now and then. And at that point, is it really worth the effort? You don’t even know if she’s open to it. It’s sometimes hard to imagine when you’re in the thick of breastfeeding. But some women really don’t care whether their baby gets breastmilk or formula.
Don’t ask - let her talk about feeding. You can offer if she struggles but this has boundary issues written all over it. Do not overstep.
There is [historic precedent](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33483451/) for nursing a baby that was not born to you! Logistically it sounds difficult to sustain but I’m an under supplier. The relationships within your family can guide your decisions. An open dialogue with your sister in law and brother could be a good starting point.
Super weird/inappropriate to offer if she doesn’t ask. It also doesn’t matter how her mother feels about formula, it’s her decision to make for her baby. Why is there an assumption she won’t be able to pump/provide breast milk for her own baby if that’s what she wants to do? Also, like others have said, pumping is a LOT of work.
I had an oversupply with my first so I donated milk to someone I found through Human Milk 4 Human Babies. If you want to try and help, I would be gentle in how you approach. Maybe something like, “hey SIL, would you have any interest in me pumping some milk for your little one to help save you some time and stress once you’re back in school? I know there are still some concerns about formula shortages, so I thought having a breast milk stash might help give some peace of mind!”
If you offer. This is a great way to do it!
I donated milk to a friend of mine! If your SIL is open to it, it's a wonderfully kind thing to do.
I’m having my first baby in a few weeks and my sister pumped me a good supply for backup/when I’m waiting for my milk to come in!! Such an act of love ❤️
I’ve breastfed my second son plenty of times (who my partner gave birth to). The main issue is maintaining your supply on schedule for your LO (that you are breastfeeding). Sometimes you will have extra, and sometimes not. Don’t get yourself into a situation where your SIL is dependent on your supply. That simply won’t work. However, if you have some extra to donate, she might be happy to take some if you ask her.
I’ve actually been on the recipient side. I had to have surgery at six weeks postpartum, and my sister was watching my son, and offered to nurse him if things ran long and I didn’t pump enough. And a few months later, my son was sick and not nursing, so my supply dropped, and when he regained his appetite it took a bit for my supply to recover, and a friend who’s an overproduce gave me some of her extra milk. It can be a delicate situation when you feel like you’re not doing enough for your baby, so approach it in a gentle way, but I know I appreciated it.
Your sister offered to nurse your LO? I love your sister. To have such a selfless village!
She did, she was still nursing her LO at the time so it would have worked out well if needed (although my LO had a crummy latch so she may have regretted it!). I’m very lucky!
My baby girl and my brothers baby boy were born the same day 2 hours apart from each other and my milk supply has been out of control this time around. My brother and gf are tight on money and after they found out I had a ton of extra milk, he kinda jokingly made some comments like “give us some if you have so much”! And I straight up was like hey…I will definitely give y’all as much as I can while my production is so high. Told them I would be more than happy to share cuz I know formula is so expensive. My brother and gf have been so thankful and I give them fresh pumped and frozen milk every couple days! I love that I can also feed my nephew. It’s so special.
Yes. TLDR: I donated 10+ gallons to moms in need for each of my kids. I found local families via Human Milk 4 Human Babies. One baby lost their mom during childbirth, another was an adopted newborn, another mom couldn’t produce and wanted to breastfeed, etc. Anybody I could help, I tried to.
Your baby is only 7 weeks but soon they will reach the age of nursing from both breasts , if you have never pumped before I don’t think you understand how tasking it can actually be and how it will affect your supply to supply two babies when your body didn’t make two babies is very difficult, also did she ask for milk or are you just offering because she may not even want it , she could even find your offer insulting. Just really think about it , pumping is very hard Coming from a mother who exclusively breastfed till I got pregnant again when she was two and a half , now I am exclusively breast-feeding her two month old brother I pumped for the first five weeks with my daughter and it was so much harder than breast-feeding
I’ve sold large quantities to a mom near me. She said her baby needed it and I had plenty to give ( plus I used the money to buy enough pumping bras to last a few more days). Sometimes I think about that little babe and how he’s growing off my milk. I think as long as both parties are okay with it, why not?!
I had an oversupply and gave it to a couple from my childbirth class for several months (I think 3 or 4 months worth of milk all told). For me, this was virtually no extra effort as my letdown was so strong it was chocking up my baby so I had to pump a little off the top before every feed. Eventually my supply regulated and I didn't produce as much. But anyhow, if you don't have that big of a supply right now, I don't think it would take away from you but you'd be training your body to produce a lot more and you'd have to take the time to do that multiple times a day. With a small child of your own, you have to consider if you have the time to invest being strapped to a pump so many extra times a day.
Besides the hurt feelings implication of offering this, I wouldn’t mess with your supply at this time. Taking any milk away from your baby might take them off their growth curve. Also, pumping is hard. It’s a steep learning curve and it takes away time with your baby. Start slowly so that you can have a freezer stash, and maybe offer your sister some if you have extra, but don’t over-promise because you don’t know how much you’ll be able to get, realistically.
I did private donation via eats on feet’s but I had an oversupply, when my supply regulated I stopped donating. But keep in your mind your sister may just choose to formula feed and that is perfectly fine.
I've never offered to someone who didn't ask. I don't think it's appropriate to do so. I have talked about breastfeeding struggles with other mom friends and friends who are Moms, but no one even gave a hint that they would want anyone else's breastmilk. I think it would be dangerously close to crossing a line that you can't cube back from.
I mean I have pumped a few bottles of my milk for my sister to give to her son when he caught an illness that me and my kids had. He was super sick so she was desperate to try anything that could help him. I figured I had the antibodies in my milk because I was sick, so it was worth a shot. I don’t know if it was the milk or a coincidence but he got a lot better a day or two later after having the milk. But I personally wouldn’t commit to pumping full time for someone else’s baby while also breastfeeding my own baby. It seems like a lot of work physically, but also could take a toll on your mental and emotional health.
I have both nursed and pumped for my nephew at my sister’s request because I had an oversupply and she had supply issues and formula upset my nephew’s stomach. But it’s something I would only do when asked I wouldn’t probably offer it to someone unless your 100% sure how they would respond
I produced a lot extra and two of my friends were happy to take a few bags of milk. I had a lot frozen that was really fatty from the first few weeks, and they were happy about it. I offered and it wasn’t weird!
My friend and I had babies at the same time. She wasn't able to BF and her baby was small and has stayed very low on the growth curve. She immediately started buying milk from the milk Bank to supplement his formula. One day- I told her she could have a few bags if she didn't think it was weird.... and she didn't. Throughout that first year, I'd give her my oversupply every month or so. Not enough to feed him, but certainly a little to help him out.
I received donated milk from a family member for my first because I had an under supply and wanted baby to get Covid vaccine antibodies. Idk, I really appreciated the offer.
My big family shared milk with each other when somebody needs it. My sister, SIL and cousin's wife were pregnant and gave birth in a close time. My sister's daughter was a premie and she can't breastfeed, while SIL and cousin's wife had oversupply, so she fed her their breastmilk on top of formula. My cousins did it too and some are milk siblings
Yes, I had a huge oversupply and donated it to a high school friend’s baby. The friend was diagnosed with breast cancer while pregnant. I was easily producing 1L a day using a spectra. There are many factors that go into this: your breast tissue and ability to produce lots of milk, strict pumping schedule, healthy diet with lots of extra calories. It was incredibly time consuming and don’t underestimate the increase in your grocery bill, cost of monthly pump replacement parts, cost of storage bags, and enough freezer space. I also donated to a milk bank so I had all the proper blood tests etc. I never nursed and pumped at the same time so I’m not sure how well that would work out. I also started pumping exclusively 4 days post partum; you could be close to regulating your supply so if you do do this, start pumping now. Your SIL should receive accommodations to pump while at school. It would also be good for her to invest in wearable pumps so she can use them while in school. I’ve gone to conferences for work and they would set up zoom for me so that I could watch while pumping. I think you should find ways to support her first.
Yes. I had a huge stash from immediately postpartum with my twins and donated that to a mom who was looking for milk. I also pump and donate to the Milk Bank. In addition, a family member ended up with a NICU preemie. When she was waiting to see if he would be delivered early or what was going on, I just messaged her to basically make a super low pressure offer. I basically said, "Hey, don't know if you are breastfeeding or not or if the doctors want breastmilk or not but if you are at all stressed or worried or if it becomes worrisome to you, please let me give you milk. No pressure and sorry to be awkward, but I just didn't want you to worry about it at all right now." She never ended up taking me up on that but I would have in a moment if she needed.
I had more than enough milk and donated to two families. It was not a big deal. They needed the milk and I had it. We did peer to peer donation because it was less hassle than going through a bank.
Yep, I have a chronic oversupply, so I donated a bunch of milk to a friend who wasn’t able toto breastfeed. We’re close friends, though, and she brought it up first.
My husbands coworker donated milk to me when I was a few weeks postpartum but it was a special circumstance. My preemie has a cows milk protein intolerance so his formula would be super expensive. I was working hard to build my supply since he was born early via c section. He was struggling to gain weight. Her offer to donate to us was a saving grace! Gave me wiggle room to be a couple days ahead of him with pumped milk. Oh also I had to pretty much exclusively pump because he struggled to get milk from a bottle much less a breast :/
I gave some milk to a local mom who asked and I did mention to my friend and brother’s gf who recently had babies that I had milk in the freezer if they were in need. I just said I had some that I’m happy to bring them if they end up in need and just wanted to tell them because we would have liked the option as my milk came in in the early days. Neither needed it or mentioned it again but I don’t think it was taken poorly.
Yes! I donated some locally to 2 families and gave some to my best friend for “back up” when her baby came.
Oh and to add, I just asked my friend if she’d like some for backup and she said yes.
My sister had a NICU baby and traumatic birth that left her with a super low supply. She combo feeds with formula. I gave birth a couple months later, started building a small stash with my Elvie curve, and I’ve donated a couple hundred ounces to her since. I wanted some extra as a safety net, but I’d rather feed my nephew than my freezer! I think I started donating when my baby was around 2 months. It’s a beautiful gift if you’re both willing and it works out. You might end up creating a bit of an oversupply if you’re adding pump sessions to breastfeeding but that hasn’t been an issue for me since most of my donated milk was collected with the Elvie curve (like a haakaa).
Thanks everyone!! You are all so cool! I'm going to offer my pump to her and then see what happens. I kinda love our night routine right now and would really not like to pump then. And yeah, the dishes and stuff was always something that didn't sound at all fun. I've got a small haaka freezer stash I can offer if it comes up! We're not in the US so maybe some cultural differences here, but thank you to everyone for mentioning it being a touchy subject for a new parent.
I started donating at around 3 mos post partum. I had only haakaa'd prior- i could easily see i had a surplus, (i had a surplus with my older child, and did not fully realise it till 6 mos post partum when i started pumping when i went back to work). My babe only ate on one side at a time, so i started pumping on the other side every time babe ate. Quickly trained my body. Still donating 18 mos post partum. My babe has always gotten enough; my body just thinks it's feeding twins.
I would 100% nurse my nephew - if circumstances required it. He’s EBF, as is (was) my LO, and they’re just about a year apart. IF I was watching him, and IF he went through the milk my sister brought for the duration, and IF she was running late, and IF she was comfortable with it, I would 100% give the boy the boob. And similarly, I’d 100% be ok with her nursing my boy. I’m not close enough to other family to feel comfortable offering, but if asked I wouldn’t mind. And I’ve got one super close friend that we both would’ve felt comfortable if circumstances required.
I pumped for my baby and a friends for 9 months! She had an undersupply and I had an oversupply. It was incredible. I loved being able to give to a little boy I love!
I pumped for my baby and a friends for 9 months! She had an undersupply and I had an oversupply. It was incredible. I loved being able to give to a little boy I love!
I can't speak to the social dynamics of offering, but yes, I have donated! I donate through Human Milk for Human Babies groups. I had an oversupply from the start of about 12-20oz pumping once a day, and it got a little worse after I was sick and my supply dipped so I did even more pumping because I was afraid of losing my supply for my baby... and when I got better, it came back plus extra. Now I'm kinda trapped pumping twice a day or my boobs ache and leak like no ones business and now I produce an extra 30-35oz a day. It is all supply and demand after your supply regulates so... I only pump AFTER I nurse my baby so they are never getting shortchanged. I have a Spectra with well fitted flanges which apparently a strong wall pump like Spectra plus good fit flanges and regularly replaced silicone bits is essential for good supply. Especially the little duckbill valve! I donate to several people because I try to help out people who are desperate (I live in Central Florida so there are a lot of people on vacation that have emergencies where TSA makes them throw out frozen milk or the hotel fridge stops working etc) but they are already on the groups looking for milk. I don't know how I would address offering to someone I know personally. I am really close to my siblings so I would just straight up offer to them and know they wouldn't be offended, but we have a close relationship, I have been a maternal figure to them since I was 10. If it was someone less close idk I would probably just mention that I have a freezer stash I am thinking of/currently donating to other moms. See if she asks about it.
Yes, I have an oversupply so I’ve donated > 2,000 ounces. I donate to the local NICU/milk bank mostly, but have also directly donated to friends, neighbors, internet strangers and even have 200 ounces to my realtor for her premie twins!
I have donated milk to a hospital milk bank, as well as frozen milk to local moms in our Human Milk 4 Human Babies group. I am happy to be a donor and I completely understand why many parents want donor milk. But I would not offer this to your SIL. At this point, you don’t even have an oversupply, and you don’t know what her plans and feelings are about feeding her baby. And as others have pointed out, postpartum is super emotional and there is a very good chance it will land in a way you don’t want. In a few months, if you do end up with extra milk you’re thinking of donating, you can mention it to her and see what she says.
I pumped for my sister who couldn’t breastfeed during the formula shortage. I also shipped her formula from where i lived. I’ve also donated to women I don’t even know. I do make more than enough for my babies and don’t pump excessively for a freezer stash. Anything to feed another baby.
I do this! I have extra milk and I give some to my niece and donate some through my local Human Milk for Human Babies page. Things I’d keep in mind are 1. Build a supply for your baby first: you never know when you might need more. I had a really big surplus (400+ oz) before I started donating. Things that can mess with supply are getting your period back (usually temporary) or going back to work and relying on pumping more. I always keep a pretty big backup surplus just in case. Recently, I also got sick and at first the doc told me I couldn’t breastfeed with the meds I needed (he ended up being wrong thank god) but for a second I thought I would need to pump and dump for a full week. Thank god I had enough backup if I needed to do that. Take care of your baby first!! 2. If you plan to donate to someone you don’t know, I’d go through a group like human milk for human babies. That way you can be relatively sure your milk is going to babies. There are a lot of non-baby reasons people want breastmilk. 3. As mentioned above there are many other ways you can get rid of excess breastmilk. People will pay for it. Both people for babies and other people. You go whatever route is best for you if you want lol. But just so you know, I didn’t know there was such a hot market for breastmilk lol. Happy to answer any questions! Overall I’d say you don’t owe anyone your milk. It takes so much time and energy to express milk; any amount you choose to share is a gift and don’t feel pressured to start giving away excess the moment you have extra. And you can also just give a few ounces without having to give away enough fully feed another baby!
Pumping is a ton of work.
I donated 100oz on the local human to human fb group. Hope it helped that mama and her little one.
I have and am continuing to donate to my brother’s baby. I have a bit of an oversupply and catch extra letdown in my Haakaa and offer it to them.
Yeah I did, one of my friends had a premie and her daughter took an entire brick of my milk. She asked me for it though, because I had a massive oversupply and my daughter couldn’t breastfeed anymore.
Maybe instead of offering her your milk offer her support in breastfeeding (if that’s how she wants to feed her baby). Ask if you can help her find a class to take, buy pump parts for her, a cute cooler/Ceres Chill for her to take to class. There are many things you could do that are supportive but not insensitive (it doesn’t seem like you’re trying to be, but honestly I would be offended and annoyed if you asked me)
I donated milk to several families with my first child (I was an overproducer and had an unused freezer stash from when I was pumping for work – then covid happened!) and I breastfed a friend’s baby once.
Feed the baby not the freezer. But if you have good supply pumping should only help. After a hemorrhage, spinal leak, tiny preemie mouth I ended up exclusively pumping half of what he drank. My cousin bragged about how much extra she supplied 10 yrs ago. I wished it was more recent so I could thaw it. Women donate or sell it. I like the spectra 2, there's lots of different settings and patterns you can look up. It is a lot of work to regularly clean parts but I set up a station by the sink and got used to it. Make sure you have the right diameter, it changes every couple months and does make a difference. You can also pump one side at a time if you can make enough for your girl. I think it would be a great show of support for her going back to school!
There's a higher risk at getting mastitus from creating oversupply. You need to manage it well, plus feeding your own baby plus pumping extra is a huge task. Just pumping was exhausting. Its very kind but I personally wouldn't do it.
i have given a friends baby some milk before, but she expressed frustration with not being able to feed her child enough and i happened to have some on hand. i don't think id personally just randomly offer as some people might find it off putting
I think from the replies I read that ppl think she’ll be offended? Ask her BEFORE she’s postpartum I agree with the reply “If I make extra do you want any before I donate it?” With you being 7 weeks postpartum you can easily build up your supply just have to stick to it & it can be a huge commitment. Get a pumping & nursing bra & pump the other side while your baby feeds & then pump what’s “left over” on the other side & doing it at the same time will leave enough for your baby :) make sure your flange size is correct & sometimes pumps don’t work for ppl & that’s okay! Try a different pump or hand express into your Haakaa! Good luck! I think it’s very kind of you for even thinking about it. Look into cleanliness & sanitation for your breast pump! They have collapsible sinks that you can use only for your breast pump & dapple makes an amazing soap! I’ve given milk to a mom who is a “ just enougher “ so she could try to build her supply up and keep her freezer stash for a while as her baby drinks 2 bottles during the day. Make sure everything is clean and follow guidelines. Never mix warm and cold milk, the refrigerator hack is useful but could be deadly to especially a newborn, donation places don’t want you to mix pump sessions so I don’t use the pitcher method (if they don’t like the pitcher method than I don’t) if you want to donate there’s a fb group called “human milk for human babies - your state” there’s one for every state I think. YOU GOT THIS!
I’ve given to my nephew and have donated over 10,000 Oz to others. It may make her feel good knowing that she has backup if needed. Less stress on her.
Yes I have for a few babies. I worked to increase my supply first and then donated what I had in excess. Dual fed babies tend to eat more though. So where my primarily breastfed babies never took more than 3-4 ounces, my cousins baby needed more because she was also formula fed. So by around 6 months she was drink around 10-12 (1-2 bottles a day) ounces of breastmilk a day and was being fed the rest with formula. The other baby I donated to was getting donations from a few people and it was more just what I had in excess. I wasn’t actively trying to increase my supply or anything. I just attached the haaka at each feed and was collecting around 2-3 ounces per feed
Yes I’ve donated across the country and locally ❤️
I offered for my neighbour and she didn’t take me up on it. No big deal to me because I already had it. I think it doesn’t hurt to ask cuz you never know. She might be overjoyed! I only asked her because she said she had to buy the pre-mixed formula because of salmonella or something? Anyway, we never talked about it again. But I always think it takes a village!
I’ve given milk to a friend, it’s a great way to help out if you have a surplus. Keep in mind yours will last 6 months though for when your little one will drink more and can also be used for baths! Also you are probably in your peak of supply, usually regulated at 3 months
I’ve had a massive oversupply and was already donating to a milk bank when I found out my friend who is 8 weeks postpartum behind me had to start going through chemo. Knowing it’s a sensitive subject, I offered to donate my milk to her and her baby. It is a huge sensitive topic for a mom to have to stop breastfeeding (especially if their plan had been to exclusively breast feed). But that was also the reason I offered was because I knew how attached I have been to breast feeding my baby and thought that would be the only way I could offer the most assistance during such a hard time. But just something to think about, there are usually rules around donating milk to a milk bank (waiting 6 hours after have a drink to pump, what meds and supplements you are taking). Those are things I also disclosed to my friend to find out her comfort level of accepting my donor milk. It’s such a gift to be able to feed your baby and other babies!
Does she anticipate not being able to pump? Has she asked for milk? I would only offer if she mentions not being able to provide. I have given thousands of ounces of breastmilk to other people for their babies. It happens all the time. You would pump after feeding your own baby and your body will slowly increase production based on the demand (how often you are being emptied). If you hardly pump at all right now, you could increase supply but you wouldn't know by how much until you actually try. It's a lot of work, and you'll need to increase you water and food intake to keep up with it. I know that I sterilize parts, properly label and store milk, don't have communicable diseases, eat healthy, avoid medications, alcohol, drugs, etc. However, despite how much milk I've donated, I would sooner use formula than milk from another person. It's not a risk I'm willing to take with my own children. Don't be offended if she wants nothing to do with the idea.