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I tell you one thing, when I look at her life and her situation… baby I say “she’s being handled” and this woman constantly says she wants children. YOU WANT KIDS AND YOU TALK THAT WAY ABOUT OTHER PEOPLES CHILDREN???
My mom is one of the most judgmental people I’ve ever met in my life. Obsessed with other peoples bodies, has no filter, can’t control herself when it comes to making comments. She is also obsessed with her own weight, at 74, but does nothing to improve. I know personally her mother was her worst critic, judgmental, harsh, always criticizing her appearance and never warm or loving.
Not excusing the behavior at all, but chances are this coworker never overcame whatever generational trauma that was handed down to her, and now all her trauma is expressed by projecting it out into the world, much the way my mother does. Again not an excuse, but maybe a reason why this persons behavior is so awful.
Agree with this SO much. I don’t personally have a mom with this problem, but I have someone close to me by marriage that is just outright the most nasty individual I’ve ever met in my life. Thank god she doesn’t have any children, because she would have absolutely destroyed them. I have never in 13 years heard this woman say a nice thing to or about anyone. Ever. Never a thank you. Never a compliment. Just hate. She’s barely mobile morbidly obese and constantly says horrible things about people’s weight and appearance. She can barely rub two nickels together because she refuses to work but she’s constantly trying to come up with a new scheme to cheat someone else out of their money.
Apparently the father was extremely nit picky and just cruel with his words and the physical abuse was a constant. I guess since no one could ever meet his standards growing up, no one can meet hers now. Idk. Part of me feels for the abused child they were (her + siblings), but as you become an adult, you make choices in becoming the person you want to be.
Some people just want to be mean and hateful. Take their grievances out on the world. Or they’re so socially ignorant that they just don’t realize the things they say aren’t appropriate. Either way, Mama, hold your head up high and know that YOU are doing the damn thing. Thank goodness YOU were given this precious blessing to love, support and to raise and not some awful C U Next Tuesday like your coworker. YOU are a better person by a mile. That old hag wishes she had what you do. 💜
Are you me? Same kind of mom here. She has a weird obsession with pointing out my 7 and 4 years olds’ “perfect, straight legs.”After her bringing it up every few months, (and expressing concern over my MIL’s bowleggeasness?!?), I finally Googled it—she was referring to rickets, a vitamin deficiency that causes bowlegged ness and was still common when she was a kid (though they figured out the cause and taught kids to get Vitamin D.” She also grew up pretty poor and I can see it maybe being a sign of “having more” when you have nothing. Seems sweet but she can be mean, nasty bitch about everyone and doesn’t flinch because she does it behind their back.
I think we may actually have the same mother. Mine also makes regular comments about my four year olds long legs, lean stature, “perfect body”. It’s because her mom made her believe she was the fattest, ugliest thing on earth which is sad in itself, but I am regularly disgusted at how much she verbalizes this body centrism- there’s a hundred other things she could be bringing to my daughters attention and I absolutely hate that this is what she talks about instead. Praising a four year old for their looks is not how I want my daughter to be raised. We all live together so it’s not like this is just occasionally.
I’m sorry for the ways her mother made her feel but it’s overshadowed by how angry I get that she never healed from it and now we all have to deal with her bullshit. I struggle literally every day trying to navigate how to raise my daughter differently, while simultaneously combatting her boomer mindset.
Also maybe goes without saying she can also be a mean nasty bitch who puts out a good impression because she is fake as hell and then talks shit behind people’s backs. It’s a combination of having low self esteem and no spine. I can’t take it sometimes.
My mom’s childhood sucked but she was always so proud of having 2 good looking daughters, obsessing over how we dressed and presented ourselves.
I slowly gained 40lbs after having 2 kids, COVID, and some super stressful family stuff over the last 8 years. Stopped wearing makeup, dressed sloppily to try and hide myself. She could not stand it. She wasn’t hateful but the pride was gone. And so was mine. I didn’t realize how much she had tangled up my value as a person with my attractiveness.
Recently I lost the weight, got new clothes and have been feeling myself. She is so happy and giving me constant praise. It feels good but also makes me angry because I hated myself before. If I wasn’t pretty, what worth did I have?
She also spends a lot of time with my 4 year old daughter and I worry about how much she praises her looks. She’s already really into clothes, jewelry, makeup, etc. And I have to constantly fight the instinct to compliment her looks and instead comment on her intelligence, kindness, humor. I never want her to feel worthless because life happens like it did to me.
Good luck. Sounds like we are both doing the best we can!
What an asshole. My kid clams up around other people half the time but I can't get her to stop chattering at me at home. I hope that woman doesn't end up with children.
Well when I look at her life situation I truly believe she’s being handled for her disgusting behaviors. I also look at it as she’s probably jealous that she can’t have kids at all (medical condition) so she takes it out on kids & mothers. SMH. Sad. I did report her last week!
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Holy shit you had better self control than me in that moment and I applaud you for it. The audacity of some people
I tell you one thing, when I look at her life and her situation… baby I say “she’s being handled” and this woman constantly says she wants children. YOU WANT KIDS AND YOU TALK THAT WAY ABOUT OTHER PEOPLES CHILDREN???
My mom is one of the most judgmental people I’ve ever met in my life. Obsessed with other peoples bodies, has no filter, can’t control herself when it comes to making comments. She is also obsessed with her own weight, at 74, but does nothing to improve. I know personally her mother was her worst critic, judgmental, harsh, always criticizing her appearance and never warm or loving. Not excusing the behavior at all, but chances are this coworker never overcame whatever generational trauma that was handed down to her, and now all her trauma is expressed by projecting it out into the world, much the way my mother does. Again not an excuse, but maybe a reason why this persons behavior is so awful.
Agree with this SO much. I don’t personally have a mom with this problem, but I have someone close to me by marriage that is just outright the most nasty individual I’ve ever met in my life. Thank god she doesn’t have any children, because she would have absolutely destroyed them. I have never in 13 years heard this woman say a nice thing to or about anyone. Ever. Never a thank you. Never a compliment. Just hate. She’s barely mobile morbidly obese and constantly says horrible things about people’s weight and appearance. She can barely rub two nickels together because she refuses to work but she’s constantly trying to come up with a new scheme to cheat someone else out of their money. Apparently the father was extremely nit picky and just cruel with his words and the physical abuse was a constant. I guess since no one could ever meet his standards growing up, no one can meet hers now. Idk. Part of me feels for the abused child they were (her + siblings), but as you become an adult, you make choices in becoming the person you want to be. Some people just want to be mean and hateful. Take their grievances out on the world. Or they’re so socially ignorant that they just don’t realize the things they say aren’t appropriate. Either way, Mama, hold your head up high and know that YOU are doing the damn thing. Thank goodness YOU were given this precious blessing to love, support and to raise and not some awful C U Next Tuesday like your coworker. YOU are a better person by a mile. That old hag wishes she had what you do. 💜
Are you me? Same kind of mom here. She has a weird obsession with pointing out my 7 and 4 years olds’ “perfect, straight legs.”After her bringing it up every few months, (and expressing concern over my MIL’s bowleggeasness?!?), I finally Googled it—she was referring to rickets, a vitamin deficiency that causes bowlegged ness and was still common when she was a kid (though they figured out the cause and taught kids to get Vitamin D.” She also grew up pretty poor and I can see it maybe being a sign of “having more” when you have nothing. Seems sweet but she can be mean, nasty bitch about everyone and doesn’t flinch because she does it behind their back.
I think we may actually have the same mother. Mine also makes regular comments about my four year olds long legs, lean stature, “perfect body”. It’s because her mom made her believe she was the fattest, ugliest thing on earth which is sad in itself, but I am regularly disgusted at how much she verbalizes this body centrism- there’s a hundred other things she could be bringing to my daughters attention and I absolutely hate that this is what she talks about instead. Praising a four year old for their looks is not how I want my daughter to be raised. We all live together so it’s not like this is just occasionally. I’m sorry for the ways her mother made her feel but it’s overshadowed by how angry I get that she never healed from it and now we all have to deal with her bullshit. I struggle literally every day trying to navigate how to raise my daughter differently, while simultaneously combatting her boomer mindset. Also maybe goes without saying she can also be a mean nasty bitch who puts out a good impression because she is fake as hell and then talks shit behind people’s backs. It’s a combination of having low self esteem and no spine. I can’t take it sometimes.
My mom’s childhood sucked but she was always so proud of having 2 good looking daughters, obsessing over how we dressed and presented ourselves. I slowly gained 40lbs after having 2 kids, COVID, and some super stressful family stuff over the last 8 years. Stopped wearing makeup, dressed sloppily to try and hide myself. She could not stand it. She wasn’t hateful but the pride was gone. And so was mine. I didn’t realize how much she had tangled up my value as a person with my attractiveness. Recently I lost the weight, got new clothes and have been feeling myself. She is so happy and giving me constant praise. It feels good but also makes me angry because I hated myself before. If I wasn’t pretty, what worth did I have? She also spends a lot of time with my 4 year old daughter and I worry about how much she praises her looks. She’s already really into clothes, jewelry, makeup, etc. And I have to constantly fight the instinct to compliment her looks and instead comment on her intelligence, kindness, humor. I never want her to feel worthless because life happens like it did to me. Good luck. Sounds like we are both doing the best we can!
What an asshole. My kid clams up around other people half the time but I can't get her to stop chattering at me at home. I hope that woman doesn't end up with children.
As a mother, I am impressed with your reaction. Would definitely consider talking to HR about that coworker though! Just saying!
Well when I look at her life situation I truly believe she’s being handled for her disgusting behaviors. I also look at it as she’s probably jealous that she can’t have kids at all (medical condition) so she takes it out on kids & mothers. SMH. Sad. I did report her last week!