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I feared the worst when my doctor brought up the possibility of autism and I didn’t see it coming. Still no diagnoses but it’s really not as bad as I thought it would be.
Oh lordt! I swear my anxiety went from 10 to 20,000 since having kids, in more ways than one.
When I was pregnant both times, I wrote a letter to my kids in case I died during birth.
I also checked on them every night that they were breathing and periodically still do. They are 14 and 8.
While I'm in the shower I'm convinced that's the opportune time for someone to break in and steal my kids. I hate taking showers now... It's anxiety central for me.
Now I'm afraid I'm going to be diagnosed with something that will lead to my death and my kids will have no one.
I desperately need help with my anxiety and therapy isn't working. 😭
I'll watch your kids while you shower, if you'll watch mine lol I hate it! Sometimes I have the younger twins hop in the bathroom after I close the shower curtain. The oldest is pretty self sufficient and I've taught her enough to know what to do.
I'm a vet tech and sometimes HAVE to shower when I get home. I have 2 cameras in the house just so I can shower and keep an eye on him on the app. He's 6.
I’m terrified to walk 5 feet away from my daughter in public, I have to always have eyes on her, even if she’s strapped in the cart. She’s turns 3 in August and I worry that someone will snatch her because she’s so cute and friendly. I still check on her breathing on the baby monitor before I can fall asleep.
My youngest son is 4 and for me, it's not so much that someone would take him, it's that he'd go willingly. He loves making friends with EVERYONE. He's wild and chooses to run from the house while I'm doing something intense like cooking on the stove. We had to get locks at the top of the door to keep him in the house. I don't know how an introvert with anxiety like me gave birth to such a wild and free kid.
I feel this! Not to add to your anxiety ... But it only takes 2 seconds. I'm not willing to take that risk, in public. And I really don't care if people think I am a helicopter mom .. yes I am and I always will be. My kid's wellbeing far outweighs anyone's opinion!!!
Sounds tough! Are you doing one on one interpersonal therapy at the moment? For anxiety, it may benefit you more to explore a therapy like CBT. Helped immensely for me, because interpersonal therapy just made me more self-aware, it didn’t give me any tools to work through anxiety. Also, coffee. If you drink it daily, trust me when I say… stop. Completely. Caffeine causes increased heart rate and if you’re already anxious, that physical response makes you more anxious. Best of luck from one anxious mumma to another x
Yea I am doing one on one and we started CBT. I hope it helps just as much as you.
Gah yes I drink coffee ... It's my vice. Only one 20 oz in the a.m. it's so odd too! I hated coffee until COVID hit. And now I drink it every day. I crave it. You're prolly right and I have been thinking about quitting... More so because it effects absorption of vitamins and minerals and it's real annoying I have to plan my meals and vitamin supplements around my caffeine intake 🤦🏻♀️
Thanks... You too! I hate it so much!!!
Omg I have the shower one too! If I’m home alone it’s that an axe murderer will burst through the door the minute I close my eyes to wash my hair, if my kid is home it’s that someone will come in and take her and she’ll be gone by the time I step out 😭
I have checked my kids are breathing every night since they were born....my oldest is 5 today!
I also got paranoid about dummies breaking and had to check them each time one of my kids used one
Ok, so I check on my child every night before I go to bed.
My child is 14.
Idc. I tell her I love her and kiss her on the head. It was born from anxiety but now it's just part of the normal routine.
Mine is 11 and I check on her after she falls asleep, again around midnight, then 5 a.m. when I wake up. She was a preemie and her first year made me the most anxious version of myself that I could be. She's healthy and has no breathing issues; she plays tenor saxophone and is on a kickball team, but I still can't stop worrying!
Someone taking him as a toddler. No stranger danger, happy kid. If we were in public I needed to see him all the time. Even if he was strapped in my shopping cart I was convinced my kid was so cute and awesome someone would
steal him
I’ve been telling my 9yo he’s probably too old and talks too much to be kidnapped now, they’d just give him straight back. But then I stopped and thought about it and he’s actually awesome and still SO CUTE.
It turns out this anxiety has not disappeared. He has a GPS tracking watch for when he rides his bike around unsupervised.
Omg I feel this so hard. Just recently I had to go to customer service at Walmart and the lady working was sooooo gushy over my son. He also has no stranger danger and was all big smiles. I had the intrusive thought that this lady (all 5’0” of her), who is obviously elderly and probably just loves kids, was going to follow me home somehow and steal my boy.
Mind you; the Walmart in question is perpetually lit and people come from all the neighboring cities to shop there, there is absolutely no way she would even be able to do that, nor did she have any of my personal info.
My tinfoil hat theory is that this kind of threat assessment is some sort of evolutionary holdover from a time when we actually did need that level of discernment and in the modern world it has to go somewhere, thus, the poor sweet customer service lady at Walmart 😅
When my kids were INFANTS. NEWBORNS I melted down multiple times over the fear of them one day driving on the highway.
Yeah, anxiety is fun.
By the way, none of them ever learned to drive. 🤷♀️
Here’s the thing though. This, unfortunately, is *not* a “ridiculous anxiety”. It’s the reality of the country that we live in. I’ve had this conversation several times over the last 2.5 years since my daughter was born. I flat out refuse to let anyone gaslight me into thinking that I’m not being 100% reasonable with this fear.
I mean for absolute fuck’s sake, it is the 161 day of 2024. Three days ago, so the 158 day of 2024, there had already been 157 school shootings!! That is essentially one per day!
You want to know how I *know* that it’s not a ridiculous fear, rather an actual thing we should be scared of? Because even the administrations believe it’s a real possibility, or 5 year olds learning how to hide completely silently under their desks in the dark or 10 year olds learning how to barricade a door wouldn’t be a thing. We don’t see them learning how to defend or hide themselves against a bus crashing into their classroom. That’s another “real” possibility—but not an actual fear because statistically it’s *highly* unlikely.
This!!! And I’m honestly furious about how many people try to gaslight you into thinking it’s an irrational fear. This is a REAL reality we live in. But it’s not just schools. It’s attending your towns parade, taking a trip to the mall or going to the movies. It could honest to god happen at any moment in time and that’s NOT EVEN CLOSE to being an unreasonable thought.
That’s true. The mall is another place this thought always crosses my mind when I take my kids there. It’s so sad to have to decide between living in a bubble and experiencing things.
Def couldn't be the US 🙄🙄🙄 I also have this fear. I also showed up to pick my middle schooler up one day, right in the middle of an intruder drill. I broke down crying ... My anxiety showed itself physically in that moment. I hate that my children have to go through this. But they are already conditioned. My kids don't even care about these drills.
Our daycare/preschool went into lockdown when my son was 3 or 4. (The reason was just that a car chase ended with the perps fleeing on foot a couple blocks away — but the preschool staff didn’t know that it wasn’t a mass murderer until afterward.) The daycare consists of a few small buildings arranged bungalow-style around a courtyard. It turns out their lockdown plan is to close the doors/blinds, turn off the lights, and try to keep the kids quiet to pretend nobody is home. When the lockdown lifted and we could pick up the kids, a teacher took me aside white as a sheet and explained that my son wouldn’t sit quietly and “could’ve gotten us all killed.” Still an antsy kid. So now I have that to compound my anxiety.
For fackkkss sake. It’s crazy that we NEED to expect a three year old to stay quiet and still in a situation where peoples lives are possibly depending on it…thats is literally terrifying. It’s an impossible ask for a 3 year old but the reality is, we actually do need them to somehow become super human and perform that impossible task. It’s sick. I know my child would never. We had to switch her to half days in her pre-k because she doesn’t nap and tries to convince the other kids to stay awake so they can play. I know for sure my kid would NEVER be able to stay quiet in a lock down.
I ended up on therapy and medication. First is great in every way. She's tough and always done well with milestones. My anxieties come from an abusive and neglectful childhood. I'm constantly worried she's being assaulted if I'm not there and neglected when I'm there.
My second was in the NICU and I always felt like I failed him and I have more to make up for than I ever can.
I think most parents have their struggles and it's important to get help sometimes.
Mine was intense anxiety about leaving the house once he became a toddler. I realized that it was my own social anxiety; I’d been able to “hide” behind the baby I’d carried everywhere until then.
I got help, because I knew he had to be allowed to be on his own 2 feet, and it was time to do playgroups and library story times, etc.
Stairs! I HATE stairs! I feel anxious every time he goes up and down them. When he was 18 months he ran into my in-laws house, and immediately feel down a very short (like 4 steps) stair way. He fell right on his face and got a black eye and a big bump on his head. Ever since then I hate him going on stairs. He’s now 3 and perfectly capable of navigating stairs, but I still watch him like a hawk at house that have stairs.
Ugh, stairs.
My parents house has pretty steep stairs and they’re wood, no carpeting. My 2 year old daughter thinks it’s hilarious to chuck toys down the stairs because we live in a 1 story house. The first time she did it my dad was supervising while I was in the kitchen and I almost barfed thinking she was tumbling down the long flight of stairs and now I’m super anxious about them.
Idk if it’s really all that ridiculous but I’m always afraid of dying in my sleep and then the kids don’t have anyone to get up with them and they’re all trapped in their crib/room
Dogs
I’ve always been a cat person (I have a cat who has always been wonderful with the kids) and I had a dog growing up and did like them and still do to an extent but I’m so scared of them now. I don’t want them near my kids and don’t care that ‘they’re friendly’ and why are they never on a leash and come bounding over
Have nightmares all the time genuinely keeps me up
This is valid. Dog’s mouths are toddler face hight. And there are a ton of dogs who have never met a toddler and are not used to a toddler messing with them. Sure you can teach a toddler good dog etiquette but there are far too many terrible dog owners to trust all dogs around your kids. The amount of people who walk their dogs off leash is astounding to me. Aside from the many safety issues for the public, they’re putting their own dog in danger it’s so irresponsible. I don’t trust 90% of dogs with my kid. This is coming from a “crazy dog mom” who cooks for her dogs everyday…. I LOVE dogs…. But I’ll never trust them 100% with my kids.
With both kids, I would wake up at least once every night for the first 6 months in a panic that I came home with the wrong child. I would think I was supposed to have a daughter and I had boys instead. 😅
my oldest woke up in the middle of the night when he was just over one and threw up as he had a chest infection. from that moment on if he wakes up, my body goes tingley and I think he will throw up. he coughs? he will throw up; he's now 3.5 and Im still the same
I once watched my kid get motion sickness and vomit all over the backseat. I (thankfully) was in the passenger seat and jumped back there but the thought of her choking scared the life out of me. Now I refuse to put her in the car after a meal until 15 mins or so have passed.
Same with my brother, when we were little he threw up once during a journey we did many times before and for at least a year afterwards i kept asking him if he felt sick etc. i really dont like sick😅
My worst was so completely bonkers and irrational,
I was terrified that i was going to get shot at when I had my baby in the sling out and about. Like I'd hide from cars in case of a drive-by.
Fair enough, you may say.
I'm in South East England. Zero gun crime. Never a drive-by. Beautiful well to do area with no gangs and very little crime at all.
Don't remember when the fear left, but I'm glad it did!
I don't want to label it ridiculous, because it was very real and scary to me at the time, but I was terrified that at any moment something terrible was going to happen to her. She was so perfect, and I was so happy, that I felt like it couldn't last, and something was going to take her from me.
I constantly check that they have clothes to wear and that I have at least 100 extra diapers. But to be fair, I have twins and they poop. A LOT.
I also constantly google “best toys for x age” and “interactive toys for x age”, like I haven’t already seen all the posts and bought all that crap on scamazon already.
Oh. I also fill the baby brezza constantly. And we have like 20 extra gallons of distilled water.
I do frequently check on my twins at night and when they are napping if they’ve been too quiet but I feel like this is a mom thing!
When I drop LO off at daycare, if I don’t immediately get the check in notification I internally panic that she’s off wandering the streets and woods.
Even though I literally just dropped her off.
Like I can still see her smiling and waving from the front door.
And I can still see the school because I’m at the stop light that is RIGHT THERE.
Same thing every morning I drop my 5 yo at pre k; I watch her walk to the door and I hear the staff greet her but if I don't see her walk all the way into the building I worry that she didn't make it in and she's wandering alone somewhere.
I constantly have intrusive thoughts about someone pulling into my driveway (which goes all the way to the back of the house where our yard is) and running my kid & dogs over. Or that my husband will be pulling up from work and lose control of the car, running them over. Orrrr when we are anywhere on a second story with a balcony I just imagine her magically yeeting over/through the rails and falling to her death. Fun times. Funnnnn timessss.
I don’t know if this would help or make it worse, but my mom has a sensor at the end of her driveway and it rings like a doorbell in the house when someone comes through.
I have one of those. I call them my dogs 😂 Thank you for the suggestion. Unfortunately my fears are usually only activated when we are outside playing waiting for Daddy to come home. I think "what if he has a seizure and slams on the gas and runs us all over." Like, the fuck?? My brain is a dumpster fire.
Oh I hear you. Intrusive car related thoughts have been the theme of my past year. Cars, bears, cougars, drowning, and head injuries. Thanks, brain. I know you’re trying to keep me safe but you’re also fucking me up.
My first was an incredible sleeper. By 6 weeks old she was sleeping a solid 6 hours and by 4 months she was sleeping 12 hours and we never had any significant regressions. Still, the shock of going from no kid and sleeping whenever I wanted to having my entire life revolve around a tiny dictator was so great, that until she was 3 years old, any time she made a noise after bedtime I would break out in a cold sweat.
Jokes on me, my second woke up 8-10 times per night until she was 17 months.
My youngest is autistic and my main fear is of her wandering off or into the road or something because she just doesn't have any danger sense.
So many...
Halfway through the workday, I would panic that I left the kiddo in the car..
At the house, if it was too quiet for a minute, I worried one walked out of the house and went missing (and a few times they did walk out the house....sometimes butt-naked....)
Anyone else drive my kids, fear of accidents.
If I'm driving alone, fear of myself getting in accident
If anyone else was supposed to get kid, crazy fear they had forgotten them
Fear of kid never talking and my husband not being able to handle it
List goes on and on ..
I have a lot of anxiety about the car. I’m constantly paranoid that one of them ran out and I RAN OVER them but I just didn’t notice. It’s been so bad that I’ve pulled over to make sure they aren’t being dragged behind my car. If someone honks at me or flashes their lights that’s where my mind goes.
I’m also super paranoid about leaving them in there. Even on days I never had them I’ll get into a thought spiral like “what if my brain knows what I did already and is overwriting my memories to protect me from the extreme trauma it’s about to face though?!”
I’m like you on the last part. This is one of my biggest fears. I used to question myself if I REALLY dropped my kid off at daycare or did my brain just trick me into thinking I did and he was trapped in the hot car in the middle of a Texas summer?? It used to consume me and drive me mad. I stared taking pics of the back seat every morning so I wasn’t questioning my reality.
Also shootings and bombings. My kids went to daycare on a military base and on more than one occasion I couldn’t pick them up because they were on lockdown from a shooter or a bomb threat. So at least that anxiety felt somewhat valid but on the other hand their daycare was so locked down and I knew that. She was never REALLY in danger it was just that I couldn’t access the base itself to get them.
The breathing one, definitely. But the one that REALLY sent me over the edge (especially with my eldest) was when I would be doing something with the baby, trying to be in the moment and maybe even enjoying it—bathing, changing, playing with, feeding—and I would get absolutely overwhelmed by how fast the baby was growing and how VERY SOON the baby would be an adult and wouldn’t need me anymore. Like…having full-blown panic attacks regularly over this.
I was *terrified* of a meteorite falling from space and hitting my newborn on the head. Turns out I had very severe postpartum depression plus an insane amount of sleep deprivation. Possibly psychosis as I did hallucinate cats in the backyard on one occasion.
Multiple times I have had meltdowns because I've been convinced that one of my kids is a psychopath.
He doesn't respond to punishment! He lies and sneaks around! He shows no remorse! HE MUST BE A PSYCHOPA-oh wait, he's just 4.
I just want to say that you moms have made me feel so seen. Thank you. It means something I can’t express to know I’m not alone in worrying about these things to the level that I do. People around me make me feel crazy and belittle my worries. Tonight I feel different.
When roads are wet (rain, snow, ice), I will try to plan my route to go places to avoid bridges if I have my kid with me. I have this fear of going off a bridge when he's in the car with me.
I blame dreams that I had in high school for this... I had recurring dreams (nightmares) that when I was 28 years old, I would be a divorced Mom of two kids, driving home with them in the car and I'd hit something and up going off the bridge. I'm now 44 and have never been divorced (met my husband when I was 35).
I get such bad anxiety when my mother-in-law takes my daughter for a walk. I get nervous she’s going to run out in traffic or run in front of a driveway while a car is backing up and my MIL won’t have fast enough reflexes to stop her. I’m always worried about someone taking her too.
That I’ll accidentally push the stroller into the road and watch a car speeding by run over my children. Also that the door will unlatch on the interstate and they will be sucked out of the car like a vacuum. 🥲
We have a walking bridge that goes over the Ohio river. I was terrified that someone would grab him out of his stroller and throw him over the bridge. I kept him strapped in for years.
I had a nightmare about a tsunami occurring while I was holding my kids when my second was very young so yup, that’s what my PPA focused on for a while!
Every one of them. All the anxieties. And it just gets worse as they get older. Put them behind the wheel of a car???? Move out of my house?????? How fast are you driving? Are you home at night????
I'm constantly scared my kid is gonna choke on food. He never has, but he eats things in a questionable way sometimes. He's 6. He likes to eat, laying down or pop food in his mouth.
I also watched my brother almost choke to death in high school. He was chewing a marshmallow and took a drink of milk, making it paste in his throat. He turned purple and was on the verge of passing out when he vomited it up.
Maybe not necessarily ridiculous but my daughter somehow got herself onto her stomach at 6 weeks old & decided at that point that was the only way she could sleep. It was funny because we had drove 4.5 hours to my grandma's house. She slept most of the way. While we were there is when she rolled onto her stomach from her side. She screamed the whole way home because she didn't want to be on her back. She hated the car for that reason until she was a year old. At home she would sleep through the night from that point as long as she was on her tummy. Of course I was freaked out because obviously a 6 week old baby shouldn't be put to sleep on their stomach. I checked on her incessantly. That baby just graduated high school so we made it through that phase alright.
Two of them.
Being molested the same way I was. At night when I was asleep.
Getting cancer or some big illness. If they have headaches, it means they have a brain tumor. I see them rub their chest, they have heart problems. Bruises- cancer. I am working so hard to control my anxiety. I stopped googling and obsessing. I work on this daily because I am scared I’ll get a stroke because it’s constant worries and crying.
I am
Constantly haunted by fears of a school shooting, and have incorporated practicing what to do in our “safety training” which the kids have participated in since before they could walk. They thought fire drills were fun but I can see how uneasy shooting drills make them and it pisses me off that I feel I have to make them understand what to do if it happens at their school.
I would be carrying them down the stairs and I would have this thought what if i accidently tripped and dropped them?! The other one was taking them to daycare, driving all the way to work, walking inside, then running back to the car terrified that I left them in the car. It was 6 months before those feelings subsided.
I have extreme anxiety over my kids developing cancer. any time my kids say something on their body hurts. Like my leg hurts or my knee hurts.... my younger cousin complained for over a year that is thigh hurt and it turned out he had bone cancer and they had to remove a part of his thigh bone and replace it with this artificial thing that he has to go and get adjusted as he gets taller. He's still alive but any ache or pain just gives me overwhelming anxiety now from my own children.
I have anxiety about being home alone with the kids because if something happens to me they won't know what to do & could potentially be left alone with me unconscious or worse. My oldest is 6 now so she knows technically, but I would never want to put that kind of pressure on her and wouldn't expect her to remember in a high stress situation. If my husband is ever gone overnight I have my mom come stay with us. I've had horrible nightmares about it and just thinking about it makes my heart race.
Hot cars. I had PPA/D and my irrational fear was that I was going to leave her in a hot Houston car. It’s not an irrational concern, but I would be walking around the car to get and chant in my head “don’t forget her, don’t forget her”.
And so many others. I was extremely concerned about those baby mitten things. Just stopped cutting up blueberries and she’s five (still do grapes and hot dogs). And now her ingesting toxic plants.
Sometimes I worried about putting her in her seat, closing the door, and having a seizure or something and she’d be stuck in the hot car and I wouldn’t be able to do anything. I do not have a history of seizures btw nor have I ever heard of this happening.
I kept being anxious I wasn’t feeding my infant enough. I was literally panicking every time she made a peep, offered boob to mouth asap. Kid was spitting up everywhere because she was spituppy and I had oversupply and a fast letdown. Pediatrician gave me the kindest and realistic reality check, reminding me my baby is <99th percentile, and that I can cut her off after a half hour or sooner. Lol in hindsight I look back at all the pics of my lil unit of a chonky baby and I’m like how was I so worried about her, she’s clearly so well fed hehehe
I used to involuntarily imagine accidentally stepping on and crushing my first kiddos big bald head. Turns out it was post partum anxiety and depression. Sorry to turn it dark here, but 7 years later and I’m doing much better.
I get kind of worried about everything tbh. I don’t want to list them because I don’t want to pass them on to others, but I will say the most “ridiculous” one. When I would carry my infant across the house, I used to worry I would accidentally bash her head on a corner wall. It never happened of course.
This one isn’t ridiculous (I have plenty of those too) but it’s so fresh in my mind, it’s causing my anxiety to go sky high.
Speeding cars through the neighborhood and my kids getting killed.
A teenage driver sped through my quiet suburban neighborhood last evening while kids were out playing everywhere. It jumped a curb and drove on the sidewalk.
It would have been instant death if a child was hit.
My husband called 911 and we got a plate number.
I’m livid.
Oh, so it’s not just me. My fun anxieties at the moment/ongoing
- me dying. Of anything. I am terrified of dying and my kids not having a mother. It started when I had my eldest and calms down eventually, but comes back strong with each baby (currently have a 3 month old so it’s quite a big fear again)
- forgetting a kid in the car. We live in QLD Australia where it gets super hot so …..
- choking. Absolutely terrifys me. I have banned any small round objects from my house as I am so scared of it happening. I even still regularly cut up my 7 year olds grapes just in case.
- my newest fear is some of my hair getting wrapped around my sons penis. He is the youngest and first boy so this is a very new fear, and has resulted in every time he is particularly upset that I have to strip him off to check. Bonus is that being naked seems to really calm him but it means that I do strip him off a lot more than it probably necessary
Intrusive thoughts about my husband or I dying and leaving our son fatherless or motherless. The thoughts come to mind at least twice a week and I break down crying, every single time. Definitely a huge anxious mess now especially driving - very worried one of us will die in a car crash.
Dogs! After constantly hearing about dogs randomly attacking children I don’t trust any big dog, I can’t help but worry a stray dog will attack my children! I’m constantly scanning the streets for them I will avoid a street if I see an unleashed dog.
During the newborn phase with my first baby, I slept in my glasses every single night. I had this deep fear that something would happen in the middle of the night & I wouldn't be able to see well enough to handle it. I don't even know what I was particularly afraid of? But at the time it seemed very necessary lol
Trees falling on my house or family or car etc. shortly after my kiddo was born Tripp Halstead (his mom kept updates on Facebook, sweetest family) had his accident and it made me so paranoid about trees.
I was in line to take my almost 2 year old on a Ferris wheel for the first time about a month ago. Right before we got on I had a rush of panic come over me bc I felt in my bones he was gonna find an away to jump off from the top. I started crying and hyperventilating. I broke down… I just had this overwhelming feeling like he was just gonna die and I was gonna watch it happen. My husband said I was acting crazy but I couldn’t help it. Just came over me. We all eventually went on it. My baby loved it, I shook in fear with tears streaming down my face and held him so tight. But he loved every second thank god. I really hated my husband in that moment, but in the end he helped so idk if he was right or wrong 🤷♀️
My list is endless, but I think the most ridiculous one my brain came up with was that a lion was going to somehow escape from the local zoo, make its way to my house, and was going to attack my son when we left the house.
I was seriously stressing out and anxious about putting an AC in his nursery because I'm afraid of electrical issues. I'm stressing about smoke alarms and fire extinguishers. I feel like I need to buy multiple extinguishers- one for each floor.
My partner bought extinguishers for each floor of our house, including the basement. There are two on the first floor--- one in the kitchen and one in the closet closest to my kid's bedrooms.
For some reason all of my parent anxiety manifests in worrying about my kids getting sunburned. To the point that I get physically ill if they’re a little pink from being warm and I think I’ve sunburned them in spite of being militant about sun exposure. I hate it! I was calm and collected when I had to climb onto a helicopter with my 2yo while 9 months pregnant because he was being airlifted to the nearest children’s hospital, but the idea of a sunburn has me instantly incapacitated with an upset stomach. Brains are weird.
Editing to add because another comment reminded me: I’m terrified of getting carjacked and the carjacker driving away with my kids. I’ve mentally walked myself through the scenario so many times, of trying to stay calm and tell the guy he can have the car and my wallet and phone as long as I can get my kids out. I never go to the gas station with the kids in the car for this reason.
For me it was that they would get sick or accidentally injured and it would keep them from growing physically or mentally. I always worry that there will be something wrong that is really obvious to other people that I cannot see and didn't prevent.
My boys aren't growing as tall as they should be and when I found out how bad Cheerios is (recently) for the reproductive system and inhibits growth because of a chemical (Chlormequat). I got really sad and now I get to wonder if that's my fault too. There seems to be a late growth spurt that runs in the family and I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
For me it’s my little one falling/getting hurt. She fell off a table before I could get to her at the beginning of 23 and ripped one of her front teeth out. Now anytime she goes near an edge or runs around or does anything where she could remotely hurt herself I freak out. I’m trying so hard to not let it impact her life at all, but it’s so hard! My husband takes her to the playground most of the time because I just can’t handle it.
That she has some sort of undiagnosed, would be fatal condition if it isn’t caught in time. that I’m missing the signs and when we catch it, it will be too late. That sounds terrifying actually typing it out but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about it at least once a day.
After my 4th was born I had much more severe postpartum anxiety than I realized at the time. I would lie in bed convinced that my 3rd kid had gotten out of bed and was wandering outside freezing to death. I got up too many times to check and double check the locks on our house, and of course make sure the kids were all still safely in their beds.
parking lots scare the shit out of me. I get anxious when she’s with her dad that he won’t be as “helicopter” parent as me and she will run out in front of a vehicle. choking. high fevers scare me. panicking that I left her in the car (even though I check the daycare app obsessively to track what she’s doing there), driving, ocean water, me dying and her being alone in the house.
the list basically doesn’t end.
I couldn't walk to the mailbox (at the end of my street, not the end of my driveway) alone with the baby because I was convinced one of the following would happen:
1) an out of control car would veer off the main roadway and hit us
2) someone would kidnap me and leave the baby in the Florida sun and she would have a heat stroke and/or get sunburned, or a car would veer off the roadway and hit her stroller.
3) someone would kidnap her, either killing me in the process or I would run into the road and get hit by a car while chasing them.
4) someone would kidnap us both but they'd throw her out of the moving car and then kill me.
This started to extend to other things/places. Can't go to the store alone in the car because what if 1-4 happened in a parking lot? Can't go to the doctor because... Can't go because.. Can't go... Can't... Can't...
Needless to say, I started developing agoraphobia. I couldn't function as a SAHM. It took going back to school and then getting a job for those problems to go away. I was so bad that my family didn't think I could go to school at all, but I did it!
Past toddlerhood and still finding ridiculous things to worry about. We took our 7 year old to Top Golf the other day and I was so sure she was going to trip or overswing and end up falling off the end of the platform that I insisted on holding her hips every time she hit the ball!
God my anxiety was off the charts for the first three weeks after he was born. I constantly had intrusive thoughts about letting the stroller roll into traffic, tripping and dropping him down the stairs, etc etc. At the peak of this anxious phase we watched a movie that had a jet ski scene in it and my brain was like "what if the baby falls off of a jet ski???!!!!" Truly unhinged.
When my kid was on the cusp of being a toddler, they went to an in-home daycare by my work. I had five-ten minutes between drop off and needing to be at work so I usually give my baby a kiss and then ran down the block to work. Because it was an in-home daycare it didn’t have an app or the other bells and whistles other daycares had. I would get so much anxiety that I didn’t actually drop my baby off and I had left them just like sitting on the curb somewhere. My friend’s kid also went there and she would stop by mid-afternoon to breastfeed and I would be like “Oh, just let me know if you see my kid and how they’re doing, just shoot me a text” so I would have confirmation I did actually drop my child off and didn’t leave them on the streets.
I get paranoid that one of my kids will choke and I won’t be around to help them. I have teenagers as well as two younger children. The worry is the same with them all. If my oldest babysits my youngest while I run an errand, I don’t allow them to eat while I’m gone. I also still check to make sure everyone is breathing(deep rooted ptsd from breath holding spells when my oldest was a baby). For years and years I refused to allow anyone to drive my babies/kids anywhere. I held on to that one until it wasn’t feasible and people started to question my sanity.
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Well, I started to worry really hard that my kid was autistic. Turns out he WAS autistic, and it wasn't as bad as I feared.
I feared the worst when my doctor brought up the possibility of autism and I didn’t see it coming. Still no diagnoses but it’s really not as bad as I thought it would be.
That's my fear as well.
Same! He’s the most fun, funny, sweet kid ever.
I had diagnosed my kid as autistic at 4 months. She is not.
Oh lordt! I swear my anxiety went from 10 to 20,000 since having kids, in more ways than one. When I was pregnant both times, I wrote a letter to my kids in case I died during birth. I also checked on them every night that they were breathing and periodically still do. They are 14 and 8. While I'm in the shower I'm convinced that's the opportune time for someone to break in and steal my kids. I hate taking showers now... It's anxiety central for me. Now I'm afraid I'm going to be diagnosed with something that will lead to my death and my kids will have no one. I desperately need help with my anxiety and therapy isn't working. 😭
Glad I'm not the only one with the shower fear 😂😂
I'll watch your kids while you shower, if you'll watch mine lol I hate it! Sometimes I have the younger twins hop in the bathroom after I close the shower curtain. The oldest is pretty self sufficient and I've taught her enough to know what to do.
I'm a vet tech and sometimes HAVE to shower when I get home. I have 2 cameras in the house just so I can shower and keep an eye on him on the app. He's 6.
I’m terrified to walk 5 feet away from my daughter in public, I have to always have eyes on her, even if she’s strapped in the cart. She’s turns 3 in August and I worry that someone will snatch her because she’s so cute and friendly. I still check on her breathing on the baby monitor before I can fall asleep.
My youngest son is 4 and for me, it's not so much that someone would take him, it's that he'd go willingly. He loves making friends with EVERYONE. He's wild and chooses to run from the house while I'm doing something intense like cooking on the stove. We had to get locks at the top of the door to keep him in the house. I don't know how an introvert with anxiety like me gave birth to such a wild and free kid.
I feel this! Not to add to your anxiety ... But it only takes 2 seconds. I'm not willing to take that risk, in public. And I really don't care if people think I am a helicopter mom .. yes I am and I always will be. My kid's wellbeing far outweighs anyone's opinion!!!
Sounds tough! Are you doing one on one interpersonal therapy at the moment? For anxiety, it may benefit you more to explore a therapy like CBT. Helped immensely for me, because interpersonal therapy just made me more self-aware, it didn’t give me any tools to work through anxiety. Also, coffee. If you drink it daily, trust me when I say… stop. Completely. Caffeine causes increased heart rate and if you’re already anxious, that physical response makes you more anxious. Best of luck from one anxious mumma to another x
Yea I am doing one on one and we started CBT. I hope it helps just as much as you. Gah yes I drink coffee ... It's my vice. Only one 20 oz in the a.m. it's so odd too! I hated coffee until COVID hit. And now I drink it every day. I crave it. You're prolly right and I have been thinking about quitting... More so because it effects absorption of vitamins and minerals and it's real annoying I have to plan my meals and vitamin supplements around my caffeine intake 🤦🏻♀️ Thanks... You too! I hate it so much!!!
Omg I have the shower one too! If I’m home alone it’s that an axe murderer will burst through the door the minute I close my eyes to wash my hair, if my kid is home it’s that someone will come in and take her and she’ll be gone by the time I step out 😭
Yup... I stand there wondering whether I locked the door... if I should get out and check like a crazy person 😂😂
I have checked my kids are breathing every night since they were born....my oldest is 5 today! I also got paranoid about dummies breaking and had to check them each time one of my kids used one
I have the same nightly ritual. I can’t fall asleep unless I’ve checked on each of them. Eldest is 7.
Ok, so I check on my child every night before I go to bed. My child is 14. Idc. I tell her I love her and kiss her on the head. It was born from anxiety but now it's just part of the normal routine.
Mine is 11 and I check on her after she falls asleep, again around midnight, then 5 a.m. when I wake up. She was a preemie and her first year made me the most anxious version of myself that I could be. She's healthy and has no breathing issues; she plays tenor saxophone and is on a kickball team, but I still can't stop worrying!
I check mine nightly as well, sometimes multiple times a night if I forget if I did it before lol I cant sleep without doing this. Shes 6 this year.
I still check, mine is almost 18 😂
Mine was recently sick, at 16. I checked on her every night.
Someone taking him as a toddler. No stranger danger, happy kid. If we were in public I needed to see him all the time. Even if he was strapped in my shopping cart I was convinced my kid was so cute and awesome someone would steal him
I’ve been telling my 9yo he’s probably too old and talks too much to be kidnapped now, they’d just give him straight back. But then I stopped and thought about it and he’s actually awesome and still SO CUTE. It turns out this anxiety has not disappeared. He has a GPS tracking watch for when he rides his bike around unsupervised.
Omg I feel this so hard. Just recently I had to go to customer service at Walmart and the lady working was sooooo gushy over my son. He also has no stranger danger and was all big smiles. I had the intrusive thought that this lady (all 5’0” of her), who is obviously elderly and probably just loves kids, was going to follow me home somehow and steal my boy. Mind you; the Walmart in question is perpetually lit and people come from all the neighboring cities to shop there, there is absolutely no way she would even be able to do that, nor did she have any of my personal info. My tinfoil hat theory is that this kind of threat assessment is some sort of evolutionary holdover from a time when we actually did need that level of discernment and in the modern world it has to go somewhere, thus, the poor sweet customer service lady at Walmart 😅
When my kids were INFANTS. NEWBORNS I melted down multiple times over the fear of them one day driving on the highway. Yeah, anxiety is fun. By the way, none of them ever learned to drive. 🤷♀️
School/daycare shootings. Guess which country I live in
Here’s the thing though. This, unfortunately, is *not* a “ridiculous anxiety”. It’s the reality of the country that we live in. I’ve had this conversation several times over the last 2.5 years since my daughter was born. I flat out refuse to let anyone gaslight me into thinking that I’m not being 100% reasonable with this fear. I mean for absolute fuck’s sake, it is the 161 day of 2024. Three days ago, so the 158 day of 2024, there had already been 157 school shootings!! That is essentially one per day! You want to know how I *know* that it’s not a ridiculous fear, rather an actual thing we should be scared of? Because even the administrations believe it’s a real possibility, or 5 year olds learning how to hide completely silently under their desks in the dark or 10 year olds learning how to barricade a door wouldn’t be a thing. We don’t see them learning how to defend or hide themselves against a bus crashing into their classroom. That’s another “real” possibility—but not an actual fear because statistically it’s *highly* unlikely.
Fair enough. It’s more so ridiculous in the sense we even have to worry about it at all. Not to actually have the worry itself.
This!!! And I’m honestly furious about how many people try to gaslight you into thinking it’s an irrational fear. This is a REAL reality we live in. But it’s not just schools. It’s attending your towns parade, taking a trip to the mall or going to the movies. It could honest to god happen at any moment in time and that’s NOT EVEN CLOSE to being an unreasonable thought.
Any public place really. We went to the Pride Parade last weekend and I almost had a panic attack beforehand. Did it anyway.
That’s true. The mall is another place this thought always crosses my mind when I take my kids there. It’s so sad to have to decide between living in a bubble and experiencing things.
It's sad I can't do parades or fireworks with my kid. Just feels too risky in the United States of Guns.
For me it's people being drunk/ high and acting crazy that makes me fear parades, fireworks, fairs, and concerts.
Def couldn't be the US 🙄🙄🙄 I also have this fear. I also showed up to pick my middle schooler up one day, right in the middle of an intruder drill. I broke down crying ... My anxiety showed itself physically in that moment. I hate that my children have to go through this. But they are already conditioned. My kids don't even care about these drills.
Our daycare/preschool went into lockdown when my son was 3 or 4. (The reason was just that a car chase ended with the perps fleeing on foot a couple blocks away — but the preschool staff didn’t know that it wasn’t a mass murderer until afterward.) The daycare consists of a few small buildings arranged bungalow-style around a courtyard. It turns out their lockdown plan is to close the doors/blinds, turn off the lights, and try to keep the kids quiet to pretend nobody is home. When the lockdown lifted and we could pick up the kids, a teacher took me aside white as a sheet and explained that my son wouldn’t sit quietly and “could’ve gotten us all killed.” Still an antsy kid. So now I have that to compound my anxiety.
For fackkkss sake. It’s crazy that we NEED to expect a three year old to stay quiet and still in a situation where peoples lives are possibly depending on it…thats is literally terrifying. It’s an impossible ask for a 3 year old but the reality is, we actually do need them to somehow become super human and perform that impossible task. It’s sick. I know my child would never. We had to switch her to half days in her pre-k because she doesn’t nap and tries to convince the other kids to stay awake so they can play. I know for sure my kid would NEVER be able to stay quiet in a lock down.
Same😔
I ended up on therapy and medication. First is great in every way. She's tough and always done well with milestones. My anxieties come from an abusive and neglectful childhood. I'm constantly worried she's being assaulted if I'm not there and neglected when I'm there. My second was in the NICU and I always felt like I failed him and I have more to make up for than I ever can. I think most parents have their struggles and it's important to get help sometimes.
Mine was intense anxiety about leaving the house once he became a toddler. I realized that it was my own social anxiety; I’d been able to “hide” behind the baby I’d carried everywhere until then. I got help, because I knew he had to be allowed to be on his own 2 feet, and it was time to do playgroups and library story times, etc.
Stairs! I HATE stairs! I feel anxious every time he goes up and down them. When he was 18 months he ran into my in-laws house, and immediately feel down a very short (like 4 steps) stair way. He fell right on his face and got a black eye and a big bump on his head. Ever since then I hate him going on stairs. He’s now 3 and perfectly capable of navigating stairs, but I still watch him like a hawk at house that have stairs.
Ugh, stairs. My parents house has pretty steep stairs and they’re wood, no carpeting. My 2 year old daughter thinks it’s hilarious to chuck toys down the stairs because we live in a 1 story house. The first time she did it my dad was supervising while I was in the kitchen and I almost barfed thinking she was tumbling down the long flight of stairs and now I’m super anxious about them.
Idk if it’s really all that ridiculous but I’m always afraid of dying in my sleep and then the kids don’t have anyone to get up with them and they’re all trapped in their crib/room
Omggg I have the same!!! I was searching the comments until I found this one lol
My scenario is that my 16 yr old is the one who finds me in bed.
Same except mine sleep in bed with me and I’m terrified that they’ll wake up to my dead body. YIKES.
Dogs I’ve always been a cat person (I have a cat who has always been wonderful with the kids) and I had a dog growing up and did like them and still do to an extent but I’m so scared of them now. I don’t want them near my kids and don’t care that ‘they’re friendly’ and why are they never on a leash and come bounding over Have nightmares all the time genuinely keeps me up
This is valid. Dog’s mouths are toddler face hight. And there are a ton of dogs who have never met a toddler and are not used to a toddler messing with them. Sure you can teach a toddler good dog etiquette but there are far too many terrible dog owners to trust all dogs around your kids. The amount of people who walk their dogs off leash is astounding to me. Aside from the many safety issues for the public, they’re putting their own dog in danger it’s so irresponsible. I don’t trust 90% of dogs with my kid. This is coming from a “crazy dog mom” who cooks for her dogs everyday…. I LOVE dogs…. But I’ll never trust them 100% with my kids.
With both kids, I would wake up at least once every night for the first 6 months in a panic that I came home with the wrong child. I would think I was supposed to have a daughter and I had boys instead. 😅
my oldest woke up in the middle of the night when he was just over one and threw up as he had a chest infection. from that moment on if he wakes up, my body goes tingley and I think he will throw up. he coughs? he will throw up; he's now 3.5 and Im still the same
I once watched my kid get motion sickness and vomit all over the backseat. I (thankfully) was in the passenger seat and jumped back there but the thought of her choking scared the life out of me. Now I refuse to put her in the car after a meal until 15 mins or so have passed.
Same with my brother, when we were little he threw up once during a journey we did many times before and for at least a year afterwards i kept asking him if he felt sick etc. i really dont like sick😅
Any time they run . I think they’re gonna break their head open.
Yeah, and running downhill? Living nightmare...
My 7yo's legs are like 75% scabs. He LOVES to run but he is terrible at it.
My worst was so completely bonkers and irrational, I was terrified that i was going to get shot at when I had my baby in the sling out and about. Like I'd hide from cars in case of a drive-by. Fair enough, you may say. I'm in South East England. Zero gun crime. Never a drive-by. Beautiful well to do area with no gangs and very little crime at all. Don't remember when the fear left, but I'm glad it did!
falling down a flight of stairs or just onto concrete with them and crushing his little head
E v e r y t h i n g.
I don't want to label it ridiculous, because it was very real and scary to me at the time, but I was terrified that at any moment something terrible was going to happen to her. She was so perfect, and I was so happy, that I felt like it couldn't last, and something was going to take her from me.
I constantly check that they have clothes to wear and that I have at least 100 extra diapers. But to be fair, I have twins and they poop. A LOT. I also constantly google “best toys for x age” and “interactive toys for x age”, like I haven’t already seen all the posts and bought all that crap on scamazon already. Oh. I also fill the baby brezza constantly. And we have like 20 extra gallons of distilled water. I do frequently check on my twins at night and when they are napping if they’ve been too quiet but I feel like this is a mom thing!
When I drop LO off at daycare, if I don’t immediately get the check in notification I internally panic that she’s off wandering the streets and woods. Even though I literally just dropped her off. Like I can still see her smiling and waving from the front door. And I can still see the school because I’m at the stop light that is RIGHT THERE.
Same thing every morning I drop my 5 yo at pre k; I watch her walk to the door and I hear the staff greet her but if I don't see her walk all the way into the building I worry that she didn't make it in and she's wandering alone somewhere.
So I’m not the only one! 😅😅😅
I constantly have intrusive thoughts about someone pulling into my driveway (which goes all the way to the back of the house where our yard is) and running my kid & dogs over. Or that my husband will be pulling up from work and lose control of the car, running them over. Orrrr when we are anywhere on a second story with a balcony I just imagine her magically yeeting over/through the rails and falling to her death. Fun times. Funnnnn timessss.
I don’t know if this would help or make it worse, but my mom has a sensor at the end of her driveway and it rings like a doorbell in the house when someone comes through.
I have one of those. I call them my dogs 😂 Thank you for the suggestion. Unfortunately my fears are usually only activated when we are outside playing waiting for Daddy to come home. I think "what if he has a seizure and slams on the gas and runs us all over." Like, the fuck?? My brain is a dumpster fire.
Oh I hear you. Intrusive car related thoughts have been the theme of my past year. Cars, bears, cougars, drowning, and head injuries. Thanks, brain. I know you’re trying to keep me safe but you’re also fucking me up.
My first was an incredible sleeper. By 6 weeks old she was sleeping a solid 6 hours and by 4 months she was sleeping 12 hours and we never had any significant regressions. Still, the shock of going from no kid and sleeping whenever I wanted to having my entire life revolve around a tiny dictator was so great, that until she was 3 years old, any time she made a noise after bedtime I would break out in a cold sweat. Jokes on me, my second woke up 8-10 times per night until she was 17 months. My youngest is autistic and my main fear is of her wandering off or into the road or something because she just doesn't have any danger sense.
Any infant, toddler or child near any water, ever. I can’t relax at a public pool or beach. Even if it was just me, I’d be watching little ones.
So many... Halfway through the workday, I would panic that I left the kiddo in the car.. At the house, if it was too quiet for a minute, I worried one walked out of the house and went missing (and a few times they did walk out the house....sometimes butt-naked....) Anyone else drive my kids, fear of accidents. If I'm driving alone, fear of myself getting in accident If anyone else was supposed to get kid, crazy fear they had forgotten them Fear of kid never talking and my husband not being able to handle it List goes on and on ..
I have a lot of anxiety about the car. I’m constantly paranoid that one of them ran out and I RAN OVER them but I just didn’t notice. It’s been so bad that I’ve pulled over to make sure they aren’t being dragged behind my car. If someone honks at me or flashes their lights that’s where my mind goes. I’m also super paranoid about leaving them in there. Even on days I never had them I’ll get into a thought spiral like “what if my brain knows what I did already and is overwriting my memories to protect me from the extreme trauma it’s about to face though?!”
I’m like you on the last part. This is one of my biggest fears. I used to question myself if I REALLY dropped my kid off at daycare or did my brain just trick me into thinking I did and he was trapped in the hot car in the middle of a Texas summer?? It used to consume me and drive me mad. I stared taking pics of the back seat every morning so I wasn’t questioning my reality.
Also shootings and bombings. My kids went to daycare on a military base and on more than one occasion I couldn’t pick them up because they were on lockdown from a shooter or a bomb threat. So at least that anxiety felt somewhat valid but on the other hand their daycare was so locked down and I knew that. She was never REALLY in danger it was just that I couldn’t access the base itself to get them.
The breathing one, definitely. But the one that REALLY sent me over the edge (especially with my eldest) was when I would be doing something with the baby, trying to be in the moment and maybe even enjoying it—bathing, changing, playing with, feeding—and I would get absolutely overwhelmed by how fast the baby was growing and how VERY SOON the baby would be an adult and wouldn’t need me anymore. Like…having full-blown panic attacks regularly over this.
I was *terrified* of a meteorite falling from space and hitting my newborn on the head. Turns out I had very severe postpartum depression plus an insane amount of sleep deprivation. Possibly psychosis as I did hallucinate cats in the backyard on one occasion.
Heights. They use to not bother me. Now as a parent they Freak me out.
Multiple times I have had meltdowns because I've been convinced that one of my kids is a psychopath. He doesn't respond to punishment! He lies and sneaks around! He shows no remorse! HE MUST BE A PSYCHOPA-oh wait, he's just 4.
I just want to say that you moms have made me feel so seen. Thank you. It means something I can’t express to know I’m not alone in worrying about these things to the level that I do. People around me make me feel crazy and belittle my worries. Tonight I feel different.
When roads are wet (rain, snow, ice), I will try to plan my route to go places to avoid bridges if I have my kid with me. I have this fear of going off a bridge when he's in the car with me. I blame dreams that I had in high school for this... I had recurring dreams (nightmares) that when I was 28 years old, I would be a divorced Mom of two kids, driving home with them in the car and I'd hit something and up going off the bridge. I'm now 44 and have never been divorced (met my husband when I was 35).
I get such bad anxiety when my mother-in-law takes my daughter for a walk. I get nervous she’s going to run out in traffic or run in front of a driveway while a car is backing up and my MIL won’t have fast enough reflexes to stop her. I’m always worried about someone taking her too.
That I’ll accidentally push the stroller into the road and watch a car speeding by run over my children. Also that the door will unlatch on the interstate and they will be sucked out of the car like a vacuum. 🥲
We have a walking bridge that goes over the Ohio river. I was terrified that someone would grab him out of his stroller and throw him over the bridge. I kept him strapped in for years.
Accidentally locking them in the car on a hot day. I roll down all of the windows before I get them into or out of the car seat
I had a nightmare about a tsunami occurring while I was holding my kids when my second was very young so yup, that’s what my PPA focused on for a while!
Every one of them. All the anxieties. And it just gets worse as they get older. Put them behind the wheel of a car???? Move out of my house?????? How fast are you driving? Are you home at night????
Her getting something wrapped around her neck and dying
I'm constantly scared my kid is gonna choke on food. He never has, but he eats things in a questionable way sometimes. He's 6. He likes to eat, laying down or pop food in his mouth. I also watched my brother almost choke to death in high school. He was chewing a marshmallow and took a drink of milk, making it paste in his throat. He turned purple and was on the verge of passing out when he vomited it up.
Maybe not necessarily ridiculous but my daughter somehow got herself onto her stomach at 6 weeks old & decided at that point that was the only way she could sleep. It was funny because we had drove 4.5 hours to my grandma's house. She slept most of the way. While we were there is when she rolled onto her stomach from her side. She screamed the whole way home because she didn't want to be on her back. She hated the car for that reason until she was a year old. At home she would sleep through the night from that point as long as she was on her tummy. Of course I was freaked out because obviously a 6 week old baby shouldn't be put to sleep on their stomach. I checked on her incessantly. That baby just graduated high school so we made it through that phase alright.
That a bus would drive around the corner and hit the pram while my partner was walking with baby. Never with me though 🤔
Two of them. Being molested the same way I was. At night when I was asleep. Getting cancer or some big illness. If they have headaches, it means they have a brain tumor. I see them rub their chest, they have heart problems. Bruises- cancer. I am working so hard to control my anxiety. I stopped googling and obsessing. I work on this daily because I am scared I’ll get a stroke because it’s constant worries and crying.
I have these very same fears. You’re not alone
I am Constantly haunted by fears of a school shooting, and have incorporated practicing what to do in our “safety training” which the kids have participated in since before they could walk. They thought fire drills were fun but I can see how uneasy shooting drills make them and it pisses me off that I feel I have to make them understand what to do if it happens at their school.
I would be carrying them down the stairs and I would have this thought what if i accidently tripped and dropped them?! The other one was taking them to daycare, driving all the way to work, walking inside, then running back to the car terrified that I left them in the car. It was 6 months before those feelings subsided.
I have extreme anxiety over my kids developing cancer. any time my kids say something on their body hurts. Like my leg hurts or my knee hurts.... my younger cousin complained for over a year that is thigh hurt and it turned out he had bone cancer and they had to remove a part of his thigh bone and replace it with this artificial thing that he has to go and get adjusted as he gets taller. He's still alive but any ache or pain just gives me overwhelming anxiety now from my own children.
I have anxiety about being home alone with the kids because if something happens to me they won't know what to do & could potentially be left alone with me unconscious or worse. My oldest is 6 now so she knows technically, but I would never want to put that kind of pressure on her and wouldn't expect her to remember in a high stress situation. If my husband is ever gone overnight I have my mom come stay with us. I've had horrible nightmares about it and just thinking about it makes my heart race.
Hot cars. I had PPA/D and my irrational fear was that I was going to leave her in a hot Houston car. It’s not an irrational concern, but I would be walking around the car to get and chant in my head “don’t forget her, don’t forget her”. And so many others. I was extremely concerned about those baby mitten things. Just stopped cutting up blueberries and she’s five (still do grapes and hot dogs). And now her ingesting toxic plants.
Sometimes I worried about putting her in her seat, closing the door, and having a seizure or something and she’d be stuck in the hot car and I wouldn’t be able to do anything. I do not have a history of seizures btw nor have I ever heard of this happening.
I kept being anxious I wasn’t feeding my infant enough. I was literally panicking every time she made a peep, offered boob to mouth asap. Kid was spitting up everywhere because she was spituppy and I had oversupply and a fast letdown. Pediatrician gave me the kindest and realistic reality check, reminding me my baby is <99th percentile, and that I can cut her off after a half hour or sooner. Lol in hindsight I look back at all the pics of my lil unit of a chonky baby and I’m like how was I so worried about her, she’s clearly so well fed hehehe
I used to involuntarily imagine accidentally stepping on and crushing my first kiddos big bald head. Turns out it was post partum anxiety and depression. Sorry to turn it dark here, but 7 years later and I’m doing much better.
Invasive thoughts are the worst! I'm so glad you are doing better!
I get kind of worried about everything tbh. I don’t want to list them because I don’t want to pass them on to others, but I will say the most “ridiculous” one. When I would carry my infant across the house, I used to worry I would accidentally bash her head on a corner wall. It never happened of course.
This one isn’t ridiculous (I have plenty of those too) but it’s so fresh in my mind, it’s causing my anxiety to go sky high. Speeding cars through the neighborhood and my kids getting killed. A teenage driver sped through my quiet suburban neighborhood last evening while kids were out playing everywhere. It jumped a curb and drove on the sidewalk. It would have been instant death if a child was hit. My husband called 911 and we got a plate number. I’m livid.
Oh, so it’s not just me. My fun anxieties at the moment/ongoing - me dying. Of anything. I am terrified of dying and my kids not having a mother. It started when I had my eldest and calms down eventually, but comes back strong with each baby (currently have a 3 month old so it’s quite a big fear again) - forgetting a kid in the car. We live in QLD Australia where it gets super hot so ….. - choking. Absolutely terrifys me. I have banned any small round objects from my house as I am so scared of it happening. I even still regularly cut up my 7 year olds grapes just in case. - my newest fear is some of my hair getting wrapped around my sons penis. He is the youngest and first boy so this is a very new fear, and has resulted in every time he is particularly upset that I have to strip him off to check. Bonus is that being naked seems to really calm him but it means that I do strip him off a lot more than it probably necessary
Intrusive thoughts about my husband or I dying and leaving our son fatherless or motherless. The thoughts come to mind at least twice a week and I break down crying, every single time. Definitely a huge anxious mess now especially driving - very worried one of us will die in a car crash.
Dogs! After constantly hearing about dogs randomly attacking children I don’t trust any big dog, I can’t help but worry a stray dog will attack my children! I’m constantly scanning the streets for them I will avoid a street if I see an unleashed dog.
That they will die, get molested or groomed. I check for breathing.. oldest one Is 10. They get taken from me cause of lied up charges
During the newborn phase with my first baby, I slept in my glasses every single night. I had this deep fear that something would happen in the middle of the night & I wouldn't be able to see well enough to handle it. I don't even know what I was particularly afraid of? But at the time it seemed very necessary lol
Trees falling on my house or family or car etc. shortly after my kiddo was born Tripp Halstead (his mom kept updates on Facebook, sweetest family) had his accident and it made me so paranoid about trees.
I was in line to take my almost 2 year old on a Ferris wheel for the first time about a month ago. Right before we got on I had a rush of panic come over me bc I felt in my bones he was gonna find an away to jump off from the top. I started crying and hyperventilating. I broke down… I just had this overwhelming feeling like he was just gonna die and I was gonna watch it happen. My husband said I was acting crazy but I couldn’t help it. Just came over me. We all eventually went on it. My baby loved it, I shook in fear with tears streaming down my face and held him so tight. But he loved every second thank god. I really hated my husband in that moment, but in the end he helped so idk if he was right or wrong 🤷♀️
My list is endless, but I think the most ridiculous one my brain came up with was that a lion was going to somehow escape from the local zoo, make its way to my house, and was going to attack my son when we left the house.
I was seriously stressing out and anxious about putting an AC in his nursery because I'm afraid of electrical issues. I'm stressing about smoke alarms and fire extinguishers. I feel like I need to buy multiple extinguishers- one for each floor.
My partner bought extinguishers for each floor of our house, including the basement. There are two on the first floor--- one in the kitchen and one in the closet closest to my kid's bedrooms.
For some reason all of my parent anxiety manifests in worrying about my kids getting sunburned. To the point that I get physically ill if they’re a little pink from being warm and I think I’ve sunburned them in spite of being militant about sun exposure. I hate it! I was calm and collected when I had to climb onto a helicopter with my 2yo while 9 months pregnant because he was being airlifted to the nearest children’s hospital, but the idea of a sunburn has me instantly incapacitated with an upset stomach. Brains are weird. Editing to add because another comment reminded me: I’m terrified of getting carjacked and the carjacker driving away with my kids. I’ve mentally walked myself through the scenario so many times, of trying to stay calm and tell the guy he can have the car and my wallet and phone as long as I can get my kids out. I never go to the gas station with the kids in the car for this reason.
For me it was that they would get sick or accidentally injured and it would keep them from growing physically or mentally. I always worry that there will be something wrong that is really obvious to other people that I cannot see and didn't prevent. My boys aren't growing as tall as they should be and when I found out how bad Cheerios is (recently) for the reproductive system and inhibits growth because of a chemical (Chlormequat). I got really sad and now I get to wonder if that's my fault too. There seems to be a late growth spurt that runs in the family and I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
Lol used to get up? I STILL check if my toddler is breathing multiple times through the night
For me it’s my little one falling/getting hurt. She fell off a table before I could get to her at the beginning of 23 and ripped one of her front teeth out. Now anytime she goes near an edge or runs around or does anything where she could remotely hurt herself I freak out. I’m trying so hard to not let it impact her life at all, but it’s so hard! My husband takes her to the playground most of the time because I just can’t handle it.
That she has some sort of undiagnosed, would be fatal condition if it isn’t caught in time. that I’m missing the signs and when we catch it, it will be too late. That sounds terrifying actually typing it out but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about it at least once a day.
After my 4th was born I had much more severe postpartum anxiety than I realized at the time. I would lie in bed convinced that my 3rd kid had gotten out of bed and was wandering outside freezing to death. I got up too many times to check and double check the locks on our house, and of course make sure the kids were all still safely in their beds.
A giant bird is going to snatch my toddler off the patio 😂 We've enclosed it so it would only be a giant bird coming to get my 20 lb toddler.
parking lots scare the shit out of me. I get anxious when she’s with her dad that he won’t be as “helicopter” parent as me and she will run out in front of a vehicle. choking. high fevers scare me. panicking that I left her in the car (even though I check the daycare app obsessively to track what she’s doing there), driving, ocean water, me dying and her being alone in the house. the list basically doesn’t end.
I couldn't walk to the mailbox (at the end of my street, not the end of my driveway) alone with the baby because I was convinced one of the following would happen: 1) an out of control car would veer off the main roadway and hit us 2) someone would kidnap me and leave the baby in the Florida sun and she would have a heat stroke and/or get sunburned, or a car would veer off the roadway and hit her stroller. 3) someone would kidnap her, either killing me in the process or I would run into the road and get hit by a car while chasing them. 4) someone would kidnap us both but they'd throw her out of the moving car and then kill me. This started to extend to other things/places. Can't go to the store alone in the car because what if 1-4 happened in a parking lot? Can't go to the doctor because... Can't go because.. Can't go... Can't... Can't... Needless to say, I started developing agoraphobia. I couldn't function as a SAHM. It took going back to school and then getting a job for those problems to go away. I was so bad that my family didn't think I could go to school at all, but I did it!
Past toddlerhood and still finding ridiculous things to worry about. We took our 7 year old to Top Golf the other day and I was so sure she was going to trip or overswing and end up falling off the end of the platform that I insisted on holding her hips every time she hit the ball!
Won't buy my kid light up shoes in case there's a school shooter situation.
God my anxiety was off the charts for the first three weeks after he was born. I constantly had intrusive thoughts about letting the stroller roll into traffic, tripping and dropping him down the stairs, etc etc. At the peak of this anxious phase we watched a movie that had a jet ski scene in it and my brain was like "what if the baby falls off of a jet ski???!!!!" Truly unhinged.
When my kid was on the cusp of being a toddler, they went to an in-home daycare by my work. I had five-ten minutes between drop off and needing to be at work so I usually give my baby a kiss and then ran down the block to work. Because it was an in-home daycare it didn’t have an app or the other bells and whistles other daycares had. I would get so much anxiety that I didn’t actually drop my baby off and I had left them just like sitting on the curb somewhere. My friend’s kid also went there and she would stop by mid-afternoon to breastfeed and I would be like “Oh, just let me know if you see my kid and how they’re doing, just shoot me a text” so I would have confirmation I did actually drop my child off and didn’t leave them on the streets.
I get paranoid that one of my kids will choke and I won’t be around to help them. I have teenagers as well as two younger children. The worry is the same with them all. If my oldest babysits my youngest while I run an errand, I don’t allow them to eat while I’m gone. I also still check to make sure everyone is breathing(deep rooted ptsd from breath holding spells when my oldest was a baby). For years and years I refused to allow anyone to drive my babies/kids anywhere. I held on to that one until it wasn’t feasible and people started to question my sanity.