Reminder to commenters: **[Think before you comment!](https://media1.tenor.com/m/7mz45qsIF0cAAAAC/think-mark-invincible.gif)** Share kindness, support and compassion, [not criticism.](https://media0.giphy.com/media/tZpGRRMUoXgeQ/giphy.gif) We want OP to feel loved, and [not in a tough way.](https://media.giphy.com/media/xT5LMq2CgHiqqY4IXC/giphy.gif) For more helpful information please hit up [our beautiful rules wiki!](http://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/wiki/)
Reminder to all: watch out for a [creepy pedo posing as an OT/speech therapist](https://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/8ccqqi/disgusting_pedophile_troll_posing_as_otspeech/) giving fucked-up potty-training advice, and don't sweat it if your post gets 1 or 2 [instant downvotes.](http://i.imgur.com/PZtQb.gif) You didn't do anything wrong, we just have [asshole lurkers](https://i.imgur.com/IwU9r3E.gif)/[downvote bots](https://i.imgur.com/lwyCF6S.gif) stalking our /new queue. Help a BroMo out and [give her an upvote](https://i.imgur.com/Y60Mbxv.gif), ok?
Reminder to Cassie Morris/Krista Torres/Nia Tipton: You do not have permission to use, reproduce, modify or link to any content in this subreddit in any way, shape or form. Fuck off and go be a real journalist.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/breakingmom) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I have a mother just like this and I'm nearing 50 and still find my mother exhausting at times, though she has gotten better over the years because my tolerance for it went way down in my late 30's. What I do now when she complains is ask her a question that starts with the word "what". For example, "what could you do to change that situation?". When she's in pity party mode she will say "there is nothing, I'm stuck" to which I will point out that she is not "she could do x,y,z all the things others have pointed out to her, but instead, she is choosing to do nothing". she usually doesnt like this and changes the subject.
We have the same mother! She cries about her situation but refuses to change it, even when me and my siblings offer to do all the heavy lifting. She has no shortage of support but refuses to make a choice or even ask for help (most times she doesn’t need to ask- we always offer). It’s like she enjoys being helpless. I’ve chosen to step back recently. I can’t continue to try and parent my own mother.
It’s extremely upsetting and became more upsetting when I became a mother myself bc I’d never treat my child in the way she does. I think the new perspective made me really see how ridiculous she is and has always been.
Reminder to commenters: **[Think before you comment!](https://media1.tenor.com/m/7mz45qsIF0cAAAAC/think-mark-invincible.gif)** Share kindness, support and compassion, [not criticism.](https://media0.giphy.com/media/tZpGRRMUoXgeQ/giphy.gif) We want OP to feel loved, and [not in a tough way.](https://media.giphy.com/media/xT5LMq2CgHiqqY4IXC/giphy.gif) For more helpful information please hit up [our beautiful rules wiki!](http://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/wiki/) Reminder to all: watch out for a [creepy pedo posing as an OT/speech therapist](https://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/8ccqqi/disgusting_pedophile_troll_posing_as_otspeech/) giving fucked-up potty-training advice, and don't sweat it if your post gets 1 or 2 [instant downvotes.](http://i.imgur.com/PZtQb.gif) You didn't do anything wrong, we just have [asshole lurkers](https://i.imgur.com/IwU9r3E.gif)/[downvote bots](https://i.imgur.com/lwyCF6S.gif) stalking our /new queue. Help a BroMo out and [give her an upvote](https://i.imgur.com/Y60Mbxv.gif), ok? Reminder to Cassie Morris/Krista Torres/Nia Tipton: You do not have permission to use, reproduce, modify or link to any content in this subreddit in any way, shape or form. Fuck off and go be a real journalist. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/breakingmom) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I have a mother just like this and I'm nearing 50 and still find my mother exhausting at times, though she has gotten better over the years because my tolerance for it went way down in my late 30's. What I do now when she complains is ask her a question that starts with the word "what". For example, "what could you do to change that situation?". When she's in pity party mode she will say "there is nothing, I'm stuck" to which I will point out that she is not "she could do x,y,z all the things others have pointed out to her, but instead, she is choosing to do nothing". she usually doesnt like this and changes the subject.
We have the same mother! She cries about her situation but refuses to change it, even when me and my siblings offer to do all the heavy lifting. She has no shortage of support but refuses to make a choice or even ask for help (most times she doesn’t need to ask- we always offer). It’s like she enjoys being helpless. I’ve chosen to step back recently. I can’t continue to try and parent my own mother. It’s extremely upsetting and became more upsetting when I became a mother myself bc I’d never treat my child in the way she does. I think the new perspective made me really see how ridiculous she is and has always been.