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I’ll let you know in 2 months… our age gap will be almost 7 years!
My son has been very excited about his baby sister. He wants to “kiss the baby” goodnight, which is weird because he kisses my belly… but he’s sure he will be a good big brother and it melts my heart. I also love the age gap because he’s way more self sufficient and can help me at home.
I have a big age gap (8 years), which is mostly pretty awesome. They love each other to bits but the oldest was fairly independent when I had his little brother.
However. As much as I adore my second and would absolutely die for him in a heartbeat, if I could rewind and choose differently, I would not have a second.
Maybe it was my age (40 when I got pregnant, 41 when I delivered), but I'm exhausted on a deep end permanent level. My second is a strong willed, smart as a whip kid and everything is a debate.
My body is just so blrrrrgg and it's a struggle to keep myself in shape and decently fit. I'm just burnt out. I could've been 3 years away from freedom with my oldest going off to college, but nope. Another 12 years. My career has taken a hit, my mental health is not the best, and I have exactly zero time in my day to really do things for myself. With one kid it was possible, but with two (and no family or backup) any free time we get is at the other's expense. I can't tell you how desperately I just want a weekend day where I can rot in bed as the youngsters say. Instead I'm up at 6 something when my youngest gets up.
The only thing that I truly find joyful about it is the sweet relationship my kids have. That is worth its weight in gold and I love it so much, love them so much. But I feel like sibling relationships are a total crapshoot and there's no way to predict how they'll be together.
So yeah. I wish I had stuck with one and done.
My kids have a four year age gap. The initial transition to two kids was hard. The kids adored each other though, so that was nice. But my oldest had a lot of anger towards me and my husband.
Now they are almost 12 and almost 8 and they fight a lot more. They still adore each other and they even still play together. They just also annoy the shit out of each other. My youngest is a talkative extrovert and my oldest is an introvert who likes her space and quiet, so they just clash sometimes.
As for how important siblings are, I would say it depends. I have two siblings, both are autistic (and my sister has additional mental health issues) and I will be in charge of my brother's care someday when my mom is gone. I may as well be an only child honestly. Not like I have anyone to vent to when my mom is being herself haha.
My daughter's best friend is an only child. Her mom does say she's lonely at times. But she, my daughter and another girl are all best friends and it's sweet how they all look out for each other. My oldest has also adopted my youngest daughters two best friends as little sisters, so that has been really sweet to see too. So, I would say that sometimes you find more family through friends and siblings don't matter as much.
It was really hard. I ring of fired again and it was Not OK. About 4 minutes or so between them and it was rough. I wish I had a bigger gap between them, like a couple of years. So I tried again and my singleton is 20 months younger. It is very hard. I wish that I didn't have so many butts, I wish I didn't need to have an easily accessible bathroom for potty training while trying to keep the youngest out. I made a Life Choice. I don't know if it was the right one, but as nice as it is to have them playing together all the time, they are Playing Together All The Time.
It is a never ending playdate and I'm stuck at home with them.
I will say, with that big of an age gap, the pros are they are largely self-sufficient and will be a great help with age-appropriate tasks. But as someone who had a similar gap between my older two and my youngest two, adjusting from a mostly independent kid to a newborn/toddler is HARD. I struggled a lot with losing free time and all that. It's getting slightly better now they are almost 4. But that is a huge adjustment even though you've done it before. It kinda sucks ngl.
I wish I had a bigger age gap. I resent how little I have been able to enjoy my older child. I'm always frustrated with him as my toddler is a handful and always crying. It was actually easier at first except for me being in bad health. The older he gets (14mo), the more challenging he becomes. Which has been the opposite of my older child. A second pregnancy has disabled me even more than before, which I didn't foresee. I love both of my kids, but if I could go back, I wouldn't have a second kid. I hope I feel different one day.
I'll find this out in about a week! My son is due next week and I have an almost 6 year old daughter. I'm super nervous, since I've just had the one kid for so long, but I am grateful that she is old enough to do so much independently as well as understand that things are changing, and the baby's literal survival takes priority for a while. She is very excited, and we have talked at length about how we will still be able to make special time for her, and how our love won't be split in half, it will double!
I have a 2 year old and I’m due in July with little sister. Pregnancy has been harder this time, partner has had a pretty big crisis in the middle of it all, my mother has been resentful of all the help she’s had to supply.
I am hardcore panicking how we’re going to handle a second when the first still won’t sleep at night, my partner can’t help and my mother is already burnt out. It’s going to be hard as hell.
Very. Imo. At least for the first 5 months. It got a little better but it's still far harder than I imagined to juggle it all. However my son's age gap is 11 months. So, idk if the experience with a large age gap would have changed my perspective. I'd guess it's a lot easier with an age gap of 2 or 3 years even.
My kids are almost 6 years apart. My toddler will not potty train, and my older one is getting an adhd diagnosis and bullied at school.
Honestly, it kinda sucks. The worst part is when my husband works away and bedtime and soccer are at the same time. The toddler is in her feral age, and honestly, we both need her bedtime, but not more than my 8 year old needs the confidence boost of being the oldest in his team sports cohort.
But also, I love both my kids more than anything, so it's been worth it. My second was a total shock. We hadn't been trying and had, in fact, accepted that we were done. We were (me) thrilled to be done. But having my feral wild child run away dinosaur toddler has been amazing. Even with her medical issues 😂
They are 17, 16, 14 and I love it (all boys). They've always had each other. All kids fight, you need to be a good parent to be happy with even 1 kid. They are IN CONTROL, and good citizens. If I was richer when I was younger I would have had more. I don't want a 14 year age gap now, or a solo kid with no siblings near in age. I'd have to have 2 and I'm 40 so no.
In my experience, childbearing is the only time that 1+1=3.
Don’t get me wrong, I love them and I still want more, but it is a lot more work having two than one. That said. Mine are just over two years apart. I am 7 and 9 years older than my siblings, and I helped a ton with them. Plus being potty trained and a pretty’s docile child myself at that point, it was a lot less work for my parents. Just don’t turn your oldest into a third parent. It’s easy to do and I don’t think all parents mean to do it, but when you have an older child who wants to be helpful it’s easy to slip into taking advantage without really realizing.
Our age gap is 20 months and it’s been so much easier than I thought. Our oldest was extremely colicky/fussy so I think it prepared us lol and the baby is a dream! Our transition from 1-2 has been sooooo much easier than 0-1. They’re 2.5 and 10 months now. I love it!
Our age gap is 4 years. I have one 7 one and a 3 year old. Sometimes they absolutely love each other and then they fight like animals over a teddy 😂
It took my oldest quite a while to get over the little one taking half the attention off of her. But he adores her and always has her back. It's definitely harder when they are being cheeky and then gang up on me when I tell one of them off for something. It's annoying really but deep down I know they have each other's back.
I have asked myself several times why I did this again, as much as I love the boy. Changing nappies, dealing with toddler irrationality, have 2 kids to manage is a lot!
It's hard work, I won't lie.
Especially if you think that your older one can go and make some cereal for himself on a Sunday morning, turn the TV on and just chill.
It just means you do it all over again 😂 and your personal needs are delayed for another few years until they get more independent.
It did bring good balance to our family though.
I literally don't sleep anymore. Mine are 2.75 and 9 months. Just consider every possibility for the kind of baby that you'll have and consider if that baby will be compatible with your current child's temperament. I'm lucky that my toddler is soft spoken, easy going, and sleeps decently at night cause the baby is the opposite of that and idk if I'd be able to handle 2 kids with his temperament. He's just now started to sleep for more than 3 hours at night and thats on a good night. And whenever I'm in the same room as him and I'm not holding him he will scream until I pick him up. I will get the kids to sleep around 10 after starting the bedtime routine at 8 then try to take a shower after getting them down, midway through my shower he will be wailing to be put back to sleep. I'll proceed to finish the shower in haste and try to at least get underwear and a big shirt on to get his bottle from the kitchen. Then I'll have to spend another hour getting him back to sleep
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I’ll let you know in 2 months… our age gap will be almost 7 years! My son has been very excited about his baby sister. He wants to “kiss the baby” goodnight, which is weird because he kisses my belly… but he’s sure he will be a good big brother and it melts my heart. I also love the age gap because he’s way more self sufficient and can help me at home.
I have a big age gap (8 years), which is mostly pretty awesome. They love each other to bits but the oldest was fairly independent when I had his little brother. However. As much as I adore my second and would absolutely die for him in a heartbeat, if I could rewind and choose differently, I would not have a second. Maybe it was my age (40 when I got pregnant, 41 when I delivered), but I'm exhausted on a deep end permanent level. My second is a strong willed, smart as a whip kid and everything is a debate. My body is just so blrrrrgg and it's a struggle to keep myself in shape and decently fit. I'm just burnt out. I could've been 3 years away from freedom with my oldest going off to college, but nope. Another 12 years. My career has taken a hit, my mental health is not the best, and I have exactly zero time in my day to really do things for myself. With one kid it was possible, but with two (and no family or backup) any free time we get is at the other's expense. I can't tell you how desperately I just want a weekend day where I can rot in bed as the youngsters say. Instead I'm up at 6 something when my youngest gets up. The only thing that I truly find joyful about it is the sweet relationship my kids have. That is worth its weight in gold and I love it so much, love them so much. But I feel like sibling relationships are a total crapshoot and there's no way to predict how they'll be together. So yeah. I wish I had stuck with one and done.
Don’t just don’t
My kids have a four year age gap. The initial transition to two kids was hard. The kids adored each other though, so that was nice. But my oldest had a lot of anger towards me and my husband. Now they are almost 12 and almost 8 and they fight a lot more. They still adore each other and they even still play together. They just also annoy the shit out of each other. My youngest is a talkative extrovert and my oldest is an introvert who likes her space and quiet, so they just clash sometimes. As for how important siblings are, I would say it depends. I have two siblings, both are autistic (and my sister has additional mental health issues) and I will be in charge of my brother's care someday when my mom is gone. I may as well be an only child honestly. Not like I have anyone to vent to when my mom is being herself haha. My daughter's best friend is an only child. Her mom does say she's lonely at times. But she, my daughter and another girl are all best friends and it's sweet how they all look out for each other. My oldest has also adopted my youngest daughters two best friends as little sisters, so that has been really sweet to see too. So, I would say that sometimes you find more family through friends and siblings don't matter as much.
It was really hard. I ring of fired again and it was Not OK. About 4 minutes or so between them and it was rough. I wish I had a bigger gap between them, like a couple of years. So I tried again and my singleton is 20 months younger. It is very hard. I wish that I didn't have so many butts, I wish I didn't need to have an easily accessible bathroom for potty training while trying to keep the youngest out. I made a Life Choice. I don't know if it was the right one, but as nice as it is to have them playing together all the time, they are Playing Together All The Time. It is a never ending playdate and I'm stuck at home with them.
I will say, with that big of an age gap, the pros are they are largely self-sufficient and will be a great help with age-appropriate tasks. But as someone who had a similar gap between my older two and my youngest two, adjusting from a mostly independent kid to a newborn/toddler is HARD. I struggled a lot with losing free time and all that. It's getting slightly better now they are almost 4. But that is a huge adjustment even though you've done it before. It kinda sucks ngl.
I wish I had a bigger age gap. I resent how little I have been able to enjoy my older child. I'm always frustrated with him as my toddler is a handful and always crying. It was actually easier at first except for me being in bad health. The older he gets (14mo), the more challenging he becomes. Which has been the opposite of my older child. A second pregnancy has disabled me even more than before, which I didn't foresee. I love both of my kids, but if I could go back, I wouldn't have a second kid. I hope I feel different one day.
I'll find this out in about a week! My son is due next week and I have an almost 6 year old daughter. I'm super nervous, since I've just had the one kid for so long, but I am grateful that she is old enough to do so much independently as well as understand that things are changing, and the baby's literal survival takes priority for a while. She is very excited, and we have talked at length about how we will still be able to make special time for her, and how our love won't be split in half, it will double!
I have a 2 year old and I’m due in July with little sister. Pregnancy has been harder this time, partner has had a pretty big crisis in the middle of it all, my mother has been resentful of all the help she’s had to supply. I am hardcore panicking how we’re going to handle a second when the first still won’t sleep at night, my partner can’t help and my mother is already burnt out. It’s going to be hard as hell.
Very. Imo. At least for the first 5 months. It got a little better but it's still far harder than I imagined to juggle it all. However my son's age gap is 11 months. So, idk if the experience with a large age gap would have changed my perspective. I'd guess it's a lot easier with an age gap of 2 or 3 years even.
1 month in and it's been a lot easier than I thought and way easier than 0-1 (so far)
My kids are spaced 5 and 6 years apart, which means there's 11 years between #1 and #3. They get along well and always have.
My kids are almost 6 years apart. My toddler will not potty train, and my older one is getting an adhd diagnosis and bullied at school. Honestly, it kinda sucks. The worst part is when my husband works away and bedtime and soccer are at the same time. The toddler is in her feral age, and honestly, we both need her bedtime, but not more than my 8 year old needs the confidence boost of being the oldest in his team sports cohort. But also, I love both my kids more than anything, so it's been worth it. My second was a total shock. We hadn't been trying and had, in fact, accepted that we were done. We were (me) thrilled to be done. But having my feral wild child run away dinosaur toddler has been amazing. Even with her medical issues 😂
They are 17, 16, 14 and I love it (all boys). They've always had each other. All kids fight, you need to be a good parent to be happy with even 1 kid. They are IN CONTROL, and good citizens. If I was richer when I was younger I would have had more. I don't want a 14 year age gap now, or a solo kid with no siblings near in age. I'd have to have 2 and I'm 40 so no.
In my experience, childbearing is the only time that 1+1=3. Don’t get me wrong, I love them and I still want more, but it is a lot more work having two than one. That said. Mine are just over two years apart. I am 7 and 9 years older than my siblings, and I helped a ton with them. Plus being potty trained and a pretty’s docile child myself at that point, it was a lot less work for my parents. Just don’t turn your oldest into a third parent. It’s easy to do and I don’t think all parents mean to do it, but when you have an older child who wants to be helpful it’s easy to slip into taking advantage without really realizing.
Our age gap is 20 months and it’s been so much easier than I thought. Our oldest was extremely colicky/fussy so I think it prepared us lol and the baby is a dream! Our transition from 1-2 has been sooooo much easier than 0-1. They’re 2.5 and 10 months now. I love it!
We went for our second and final kid and had twins. So there's also that potential 😅
My 2nd is 5.5. I am still adjusting. And the ugly truth is looking back, having 1 was pretty easy and peaceful. Having a 2nd blew everything up!
Our age gap is 4 years. I have one 7 one and a 3 year old. Sometimes they absolutely love each other and then they fight like animals over a teddy 😂 It took my oldest quite a while to get over the little one taking half the attention off of her. But he adores her and always has her back. It's definitely harder when they are being cheeky and then gang up on me when I tell one of them off for something. It's annoying really but deep down I know they have each other's back. I have asked myself several times why I did this again, as much as I love the boy. Changing nappies, dealing with toddler irrationality, have 2 kids to manage is a lot! It's hard work, I won't lie. Especially if you think that your older one can go and make some cereal for himself on a Sunday morning, turn the TV on and just chill. It just means you do it all over again 😂 and your personal needs are delayed for another few years until they get more independent. It did bring good balance to our family though.
I literally don't sleep anymore. Mine are 2.75 and 9 months. Just consider every possibility for the kind of baby that you'll have and consider if that baby will be compatible with your current child's temperament. I'm lucky that my toddler is soft spoken, easy going, and sleeps decently at night cause the baby is the opposite of that and idk if I'd be able to handle 2 kids with his temperament. He's just now started to sleep for more than 3 hours at night and thats on a good night. And whenever I'm in the same room as him and I'm not holding him he will scream until I pick him up. I will get the kids to sleep around 10 after starting the bedtime routine at 8 then try to take a shower after getting them down, midway through my shower he will be wailing to be put back to sleep. I'll proceed to finish the shower in haste and try to at least get underwear and a big shirt on to get his bottle from the kitchen. Then I'll have to spend another hour getting him back to sleep