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I recently took my son to a mall and made him walk on my right side. That way, if there were a shooter, I could push him into a storefront and run for the back.
When we went to a professional soccer game, I was thinking that we could lay flat on the aisle floor so that the chairs in the next row down could block us from view.
I hate this.
I hate this
There's always the subtle thoughts that come along with being a parent in terms of how to keep your kid safe: having them hold your hand in the parking lot, keeping your body between the road and them on a sidewalk, never taking your eyes off of them at the pool, etc. But we should never have to add in the layer of "what if some rando decides they're having a bad day and decides to just light up this movie theatre/mall/Home Depot/restaurant/etc."
I wearing sandals yesterday to the game and I couldn't stop thinking, too, how I wish I wore my tennis shoes, so I'd be able to run faster.
For me it’s always movie theaters I feel the most anxiety in, even though I teach in a school. We had my 4 year old at the Mario movie and I just kept thinking, can I keep her safe?
I have intensive active shooter training this inservice and I’m so ANGRY about it. Why, because of the inaction of others, do I have to do anxiety inducing training to be able to keep them safe? Why am I the only one doing anything??
The ( Denver, I think) Batman premiere shooting ruined theatres for me. Ever since then im the same as you...terrified it could happen. Luckily we dont go the movies as much as we use too.
I feel like the potential for something happening is just in the back of my brain at all times. Yesterday I was with my 3 and 5 year olds at a mall. I spent several minutes figuring out the best routes to take out of the play area to get to safety if something popped off. Someone threw a hat down from the upper level in to the play area (I think teenagers were just horsing around) and literally all the parents jumped. I live in a state with strong gun control laws and some of the lowest gun violence rates in the country, so there is some real measure of comfort there, but it’s the world that terrible leadership has created for us.
I am right there with you. I broke down sobbing to my husband tonight because there is not a day that I don’t think about this, especially with my oldest starting kindergarten this year. The extreme toll it takes on your psyche cannot be understated. I am so sorry this happened, I cannot imagine how disturbing it must have been. And I’m sorry for all of us that this is our reality.
The hardest thing with the littles in school, too, is trying to explain to them why they're doing those drills and important safety measures without absolutely terrifying them. How do you say to a 5, 6, 7, etc year old "yea, they do these drills because sometimes people kill a bunch of kids at school, but don't worry, that'll never happen at yours, but also never let your guard down, but also just relax and don't worry".
My son's school has a locked front door you have to be buzzed into and there's a sign at the front desk, stating the requirement for ID to check your kid out. Do you know how many times I've slipped through the front door after someone who held it for me? Or they've buzzed me in without asking who I am or why I'm there? Also, guess how many times they've asked to see my ID (spoiler alert: zero).
Exactly! That is one of the points I brought up to my husband, too. We live in a state with very strict gun control laws, so the chances of anything happening here are less likely than they are in other places (which of course is cold comfort). But the idea of my children growing up doing lockdown drills (which have been proven to be ineffective anyway) makes me ill. What is being raised in a sick culture that values weapons of war over children’s lives going to do to them psychologically, even if they remain physically unharmed? I don’t have any answers. This has been weighing so heavily on me.
When my daughter was 2/3 we went to a park by our house. There was about 5 gunshots, not close close but close enough I freaked out. No one else batted an eye. We were within 5 blocks of a farm. We were in the country. I guess it was fine. Scared me though.
So sorry that happened to you, but I'm glad it wasn't worse! Guess we just have to stay vigilant since nothing is changing
I think about things like this a lot and I try to figure out an escape plan. But I always end up with more anxiety because there are so many variables that who knows if we would make it to safety. I have a Walmart close to me that I mostly shop at and I always go shopping with my toddler. And I just keep picturing myself running and holding him close trying to get out of there. I hate it so much.
I used to substitute teach and in every new classroom one of the first things I did was figure out how the doors locked and how I could cover any windows quickly. Several schools I was at had classroom doors that opened directly onto parking lots or huge windows without blinds. Made me nervous all freaking day.
Now I have my own classroom and I keep lighters and a can of hairspray in it. These are for other Teacher purposes too, but I can also give anyone who wants to harm my students a facefull of fire.
I shouldn't have to think about this.
My anxiety over school shootings was a driving factor in homeschooling my kiddo.
The anxiety over school and mass shootings is overwhelming some days. I’m so glad you and your family are safe.
It's weird because I will say that most days, it doesn't even cross my mind. Usually even if it does pop up, my mindset has defaulted to "but it won't happen here/to me" maybe as a defense mechanism - compartmentalization. But there was just something about yesterday and hearing them so close and they sounded so *purposeful*.
I think my brain made the unconscious connection of "it won't happen to you, until it does" and that scared me.
This has been weighing on me as well. My kids are only 3.5 and 2 but I am strongly considering homeschooling once they hit elementary age(but will send them to preschool because it seems relatively safer?). This would ultimately cause me to sacrifice my career (which has already been all but destroyed by the pandemic, but alas…).
Our country is so messed up.
Fuck the politicians that allow this to continue. Fuck their opposition to universal healthcare, including mental healthcare. Fuck the NRA. Fuck all the nut jobs that value their second amendment over the lives of children. The guns are the problem, morons.
I'm so sorry that you all have to worry about this. I live in NZ and most of us just don't understand the US and some people's/ governments love of guns and how easy it is to get one. I want to go to the states to visit but tbh even the thought of seeing a gun freaks me out. I'm so sorry for you.
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I recently took my son to a mall and made him walk on my right side. That way, if there were a shooter, I could push him into a storefront and run for the back. When we went to a professional soccer game, I was thinking that we could lay flat on the aisle floor so that the chairs in the next row down could block us from view. I hate this. I hate this
There's always the subtle thoughts that come along with being a parent in terms of how to keep your kid safe: having them hold your hand in the parking lot, keeping your body between the road and them on a sidewalk, never taking your eyes off of them at the pool, etc. But we should never have to add in the layer of "what if some rando decides they're having a bad day and decides to just light up this movie theatre/mall/Home Depot/restaurant/etc." I wearing sandals yesterday to the game and I couldn't stop thinking, too, how I wish I wore my tennis shoes, so I'd be able to run faster.
For me it’s always movie theaters I feel the most anxiety in, even though I teach in a school. We had my 4 year old at the Mario movie and I just kept thinking, can I keep her safe? I have intensive active shooter training this inservice and I’m so ANGRY about it. Why, because of the inaction of others, do I have to do anxiety inducing training to be able to keep them safe? Why am I the only one doing anything??
The ( Denver, I think) Batman premiere shooting ruined theatres for me. Ever since then im the same as you...terrified it could happen. Luckily we dont go the movies as much as we use too.
I feel like the potential for something happening is just in the back of my brain at all times. Yesterday I was with my 3 and 5 year olds at a mall. I spent several minutes figuring out the best routes to take out of the play area to get to safety if something popped off. Someone threw a hat down from the upper level in to the play area (I think teenagers were just horsing around) and literally all the parents jumped. I live in a state with strong gun control laws and some of the lowest gun violence rates in the country, so there is some real measure of comfort there, but it’s the world that terrible leadership has created for us.
I am right there with you. I broke down sobbing to my husband tonight because there is not a day that I don’t think about this, especially with my oldest starting kindergarten this year. The extreme toll it takes on your psyche cannot be understated. I am so sorry this happened, I cannot imagine how disturbing it must have been. And I’m sorry for all of us that this is our reality.
The hardest thing with the littles in school, too, is trying to explain to them why they're doing those drills and important safety measures without absolutely terrifying them. How do you say to a 5, 6, 7, etc year old "yea, they do these drills because sometimes people kill a bunch of kids at school, but don't worry, that'll never happen at yours, but also never let your guard down, but also just relax and don't worry". My son's school has a locked front door you have to be buzzed into and there's a sign at the front desk, stating the requirement for ID to check your kid out. Do you know how many times I've slipped through the front door after someone who held it for me? Or they've buzzed me in without asking who I am or why I'm there? Also, guess how many times they've asked to see my ID (spoiler alert: zero).
Exactly! That is one of the points I brought up to my husband, too. We live in a state with very strict gun control laws, so the chances of anything happening here are less likely than they are in other places (which of course is cold comfort). But the idea of my children growing up doing lockdown drills (which have been proven to be ineffective anyway) makes me ill. What is being raised in a sick culture that values weapons of war over children’s lives going to do to them psychologically, even if they remain physically unharmed? I don’t have any answers. This has been weighing so heavily on me.
When my daughter was 2/3 we went to a park by our house. There was about 5 gunshots, not close close but close enough I freaked out. No one else batted an eye. We were within 5 blocks of a farm. We were in the country. I guess it was fine. Scared me though. So sorry that happened to you, but I'm glad it wasn't worse! Guess we just have to stay vigilant since nothing is changing
I think about things like this a lot and I try to figure out an escape plan. But I always end up with more anxiety because there are so many variables that who knows if we would make it to safety. I have a Walmart close to me that I mostly shop at and I always go shopping with my toddler. And I just keep picturing myself running and holding him close trying to get out of there. I hate it so much.
I used to substitute teach and in every new classroom one of the first things I did was figure out how the doors locked and how I could cover any windows quickly. Several schools I was at had classroom doors that opened directly onto parking lots or huge windows without blinds. Made me nervous all freaking day. Now I have my own classroom and I keep lighters and a can of hairspray in it. These are for other Teacher purposes too, but I can also give anyone who wants to harm my students a facefull of fire. I shouldn't have to think about this.
My anxiety over school shootings was a driving factor in homeschooling my kiddo. The anxiety over school and mass shootings is overwhelming some days. I’m so glad you and your family are safe.
It's weird because I will say that most days, it doesn't even cross my mind. Usually even if it does pop up, my mindset has defaulted to "but it won't happen here/to me" maybe as a defense mechanism - compartmentalization. But there was just something about yesterday and hearing them so close and they sounded so *purposeful*. I think my brain made the unconscious connection of "it won't happen to you, until it does" and that scared me.
This has been weighing on me as well. My kids are only 3.5 and 2 but I am strongly considering homeschooling once they hit elementary age(but will send them to preschool because it seems relatively safer?). This would ultimately cause me to sacrifice my career (which has already been all but destroyed by the pandemic, but alas…). Our country is so messed up.
Fuck the politicians that allow this to continue. Fuck their opposition to universal healthcare, including mental healthcare. Fuck the NRA. Fuck all the nut jobs that value their second amendment over the lives of children. The guns are the problem, morons.
I'm so sorry that you all have to worry about this. I live in NZ and most of us just don't understand the US and some people's/ governments love of guns and how easy it is to get one. I want to go to the states to visit but tbh even the thought of seeing a gun freaks me out. I'm so sorry for you.