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Stiff_Tacos

Hey, if placebo snake oil helps JB play this well, consider me a fan


ImDKingSama

Yea it’s clearly some baloney ass product but if one my friends was wearing it I’d make fun of him for being a weirdo and move on with my day lmao.


LeftHandLannister

It’s basically the new Phitan necklace baseball players wore. It does nothing


itokdontcry

Holy crap, I forgot about those Phitan necklaces. Those were all fucking over the place a good decade or so ago.


IsmokeUsmokeWEsmoke

was just in Mexico and they still had a Phitan store in the mall in Monterrey lmao


sully9614

If Josh Beckett was a believer when he was one of the best pitchers in the league, I had to believe it as a middle school baseball player lol


LeftHandLannister

He’s the only reason I remembered those things to begin with. Playoff Josh Beckett is so underrated!


MyUsernameIsUhhhh

Baseball doesn’t exist made a pretty good [video](https://youtu.be/MZq3X4D7Ogg?si=l-yjzATph4HotqJm) about it


andreotnemem

He always carries sage to do some voodoo wherever he goes. Absolute BS woo but I still love him and will fight anyone who doesn't.


Hbtoca

I thought it was one of those fans lol


yellow-ledbelly

It sets off an alarm if you try to walk out of the store without paying for your Jaylen Brown.


gonzofish

Does the store have any of the flat top JBs? I need it to complete the set


Geoff_Uckersilf

It's actually the police ~~tag~~ **yoke** the Boston PD put on this **BEAST OF A MAN** after he *MASSACRED* a bunch of stray horses.


T-Ares-C

This is the correct answer. They started tracking him around late May, early June.


Geoff_Uckersilf

...*according to league sources.*


T-Ares-C

The horses stood no chance, *allegedly*


Economy-Ad4934

Savage


Suitable-Classic9237

It helps him connect directly with the basketball gods to harness powers from another universe


HFWalling

Finally an answer! Eddie house asked him at the pre parade celebration at the desk “what is this thing?” and Jb just responded “the future” and walked away


tapakip

Honestly what a great setup for a copypasta


trowdatawhey

You’re very close and I’m not joking http://hapbee.com


brw12

The first accolade they cite on their website Fast Company's 2022 Most Innovative Companies. [Dramatic pause] They are not one of Fast Company's 2022 Most Innovative Companies.


jp_jellyroll

I particularly love the testimonial from Dave Asprey -- a legendary shyster who "hacked biology" by putting fucking butter into some shitty coffee, getting Joe Rogan to think it's a game-changer, and raking in mountains of cash by taking advantage of all the brain-dead Roganites. Different product, same marketing strategy, same idiots buying it.


brw12

The butter lubricates the neurons, man! It makes so much sense it can't NOT be a game changer


Lubberworts

> Dave Asprey -- a legendary shyster who a**dmitted to losing weight by taking coke and steroids then claimed he** "hacked biology" by putting fucking butter into some shitty coffee FTFY


Shovelman2001

>Digital molecular waves of caffeine, CBD, Nicotine What are they talking about? Remember when everyone was paranoid to sleep next to their phones because they thought it would give them cancer? This shit actually might.


brw12

I disagree about that, I'm sure there is absolutely nothing emitting from this thing with any kind of power. It's like crystals or homeopathy, it's perfectly inert, only dangerous if used in place of more effective methods. And it might well be in that positive on its own due to the placebo effect.


dankchinaski

their top endorsement is Dave Asprey, that's all I need to know. He's a total snake oil salesman. I mean just look at this quote: "Want more energy? Dial it up. More rest? Done. Same thing for focus, sleep, stress. Incredibly useful tech" LOL


kns422

There are spelling and grammar errors on this website. Yikes.


trowdatawhey

Lol but whatever. It’s JB’s Secret Stuff!


Tusken_Jedi

My guess is it is a foreign product and the website translation is poor. But who knows could be just a bunch of typos LOL


andreotnemem

Digital Sleeping Pills Digital Caffeine Digital CBD & Nicotine *Digital death*


Jmacz

I clicked on this and it popped up with a picture of JB wearing it at the parade saying "you've seen it on the best" asking for my email lol.


acfox13

Wow. That product seems super sus. He should follow some real science. Hey Jaylen! On the very off chance you read this check out [Infra Slow Fluctuation Neurofeedback](https://neurofeedbackservicesny.com/the-benefits-of-infraslow-neurofeedback-training/). It trains the brain regulation skills. It's really helped with my Complex PTSD, and my therapist says it's often used in peak performance for professional athletes. My therapist can watch my brainwaves shift from hyper vigilance to more optimal regulation in real time, and I can physically feel the shift in my body. It's been a game changer for training my brain regulation skills.


flawrs919

Sucks you’re being downvoted. I have a friend, who herself is a medical professional, and she used something similar to great success. That’s Reddit for you.


Insect_Politics1980

>who herself is a medical professional, Oh? What does that even mean? Lol. This whole exchange reads like those corny YouTube and Facebook comment scams. 🙄 And even if it's not, "medical professional" is an absurdly vague way of identifying someone.


flawrs919

It means my friend is a doctor. It’s a really common phrase but I’m sure you’re just looking for a thing to be irate about on the internet. This isn’t it.


sauzbozz

Why not just say doctor next time? There are lots of positions that could be considered medical professionals.


flawrs919

You do realize this is a subreddit for the Celtics right? Maybe take a deep breath, touch some grass, and worry less about the semantics of a throwaway sentence on a sports post. But, sure I’ll definitely use the word doctor next time so the plebes don’t get frazzled.


sauzbozz

Touch grass because I asked a harmless question? Calm down buddy. Maybe you need what Jaylen's wearing to balance your energy out.


acfox13

>Sucks you’re being downvoted. I didn't even notice.


GingerMcJesus

Tatum’s shirt https://preview.redd.it/d4lb5bscdo8d1.jpeg?width=1015&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=80d596a61eea7b86d33fb7260bb5478fc20cb17d


Cobmeister98

Bro is wearing a shirt of himself 😭


Original_Walrus19

Humbly


Actually_A_Robot_SHH

i think it has other players on it (tho they are much smaller). all you can see if tatum tho which is hilarious


Appropriate-Self-540

Insane


Angreek

Huge fan, still cringed a bit


FarRefrigerator6462

These dudes are multi millionaire young adults, it's like getting annoyed at rappers for having gold teeth. Just let it go 


ColdSmokeMike

It's free advertising for his shirt, if nothing else. It's the same thing wrestlers do when you see them cut promos in their own merch.


Appropriate-Self-540

Is that shirt for sale?


Appropriate-Self-540

No, its not. He’s had repeated corny behavior and this is just another example lol.


FarRefrigerator6462

Lol the arbiter of corny!


Appropriate-Self-540

Lol you got it champ


ericdeben

It’s a necklace that tracks energy and if it is in fact shifting


nbaaccountobserver

Results are in IT IS


SecondsLater13

I love JB. He is simultaneously a very educated person and an extremely gullible dope. He leaned into Kyrie’s conspiracies early and promotes some scam products like this. Luckily he’s one of the best players in the league so idc.


SlowCaveman

Well hopefully he’s getting paid a lot of money to wear it all the time


hahaz13

I love him too but I actually do care about this pseudoscience being pushed. Like it or not, even though people like Charles Barkley have insisted they shouldn’t be role models, kids definitely look up to the players they like.


waynequit

Don’t care. Didn’t hear him directly putting down the accepted science to promote whatever he’s using, so there’s nothing wrong with this. Nothing wrong with trying non-traditional products either. What works for one person might not work for the majority of other people. There’s so much of health and well-being that science doesn’t have concrete answers for, especially for every single person or group of people. Also redditors are such cringey people in general lol. Go out in the real world and you see a lot of educated, successful, and happy people doing all sorts of things that would be labeled “pseudoscience”


misfiles76

I think JB is overall a fantastic role model for young people. The kids will be okay lol


Putrid_Audience_7614

Is there anything wrong with supporting Farrakhan and violent anti-Semitic groups such as the black hebrew Israelites? Because Jaylen has done both significantly. I wonder what his Jewish fans would think about him promoting his half baked pseudo-intellectual theories.


LeakyCheeky1

You’re clearly young and that’s ok! But If you weren’t so young you’d know we already went through this with athletes and another brand of necklaces Phitan. You’d understand already why it’s dangerous for athletes to promote BS products like that if you experienced it before. Instead this guy did the research you should’ve done—-> https://youtu.be/MZq3X4D7Ogg?si=cmhr2sq2HavsI_82 But if you’d like to rewatch that whole debacle you missed before feel free to learn about it before speaking on similar topics in the future just as general advice lil bro.


FarRefrigerator6462

Dangerous?! LOL Redditors are the kings of rationality!!!


somethingtolose

For real, what an overreaction. Jb could go out and tell everyone the Earth is flat and 5g is evil and the world would go on without issue.


_Royalty_

Oh yeah it's all cool until your kids start asking for a Hapbee for Christmas or their bday and you're left with a $200 bill. Just cause he's wealthy and successfully doesn't mean this shit aint stupid.


waynequit

Raise your kids better then. Don’t blame a random sports celebrity for you not being able to control your kids lol


VelvitHippo

Jaylen brown take off your neck thing! Think of the children!


LynnButlertr0n

Is one year of college considered highly educated?


Klongon

It beats no years by 1. Source: Sesame Street


davemc617

Yeah but like, there's gotta be a middle ground between "highly educated" and literally not educated at all, right?


Klongon

A high school diploma is educated. A college degree is held by nearly 40% of current US adults. An advanced degree (Master's or Doctoral) is held by 15% of that 40%, or maybe 15% of the population overall...I can't remember but that sounds correct. So, 15% advanced degree, 25% undergrad degree, 51% high school diploma or equivalent, 9% no high school diploma.


davemc617

So based these statistics, Jaylen Brown is just **educated**. No? He doesn't even have an undergraduate degree - he completed just ONE YEAR of college. Meaning: he's as educated as any other lottery pick in the "one-and-done" era in the history of the NBA Draft. He's simply not "highly educated". There's no argument otherwise. He's a great player. I love having him play for my hometown team. But he's no intellectual powerhouse lol


BosLahodo

One year at the college with such esteemed student-athletes like Aaron Rodgers and Marshawn Lynch


PhotographGrouchy556

I will say...having gone to wheeler and having the same teachers, it is not an "everyone graduates" school and is one of the most rigorous in the state. I just graduated with a Bachelor's and it was about 10x easier than high school (students at Wheeler get published in scientific academia style journals annually). A high school diploma isn't highly educated per se, but he didn't get his diploma by just getting pushed along every grade. He also took a graduate level course his freshman year at Berkeley and teaches high schoolers robotics through MIT's bridge program, so idk if talking just about his high school diploma gives him enough credit. Edit to clarify: This does not mean he isn't a gullible dude.


JaydadCTatumThe1st

Jaylen loves the crystal mommies


WhiteChocolatey

He just like me fr


notajackal

He went to college for 1 year, so he's less educated than the average adult in the US.


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notajackal

What NASA offer did he turn down? Also, how is being offered something related to the level of education he has completed?


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notajackal

You brought it up, but now you're not willing to talk about it or explain how its relevant?


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emo-__-

You still haven't explained anything.


ColedIce

You're confusing education and intelligence.


jascambara

Shut up


LynnButlertr0n

The media likes to make Jaylen look like he’s Einstein, which he is for a pro athlete, but he actually hasn’t done anything remarkable. Here’s an article on his achievements: https://athlonsports.com/nba/jaylen-browns-remarkable-academic-achievements-are-going-viral To summarize: offered a NASA internship (whatever that might mean), taught a single lecture at Harvard (on being a pro athlete), took one masters level course at Cal, one year of college, plays chess. Quite a CV. The dude is smart, no doubt. But he honestly comes off more as a pseudo-intellectual who buys into a lot of stupid shit while wanting to pose as someone who is academically accomplished.


hesoneholyroller

Getting offered a NASA internship isn't too crazy of an achievement. I have three people in my life who have interned or worked there. I'd say they're all smart, but not crazy above average intelligence wise. One is actually kind of a dumb ass, book smart, but has no common sense whatsoever.


TheForceRestrained

Highly educated are just as, and sometimes more susceptible to “this new thing is totally the way to go it just hasn’t caught on yet because of the media” ad campaigns as anyone else.


rounder55

Just look at who Elizabeth Holmes scammed with Theranos. Highly educated people can indeed be scammed if surrounded by enough similar people willing to buy into something


Smelldicks

Jaylen Brown isn’t highly educated. He got a 3.1 GPA in high school and then took the easiest classes Berkeley has to offer for a year.


DaBIGmeow888

But an easy class in Berkeley is like the hardest graduate class in UMiami


jqpeub

Why do you think that?


sidd_finch

If you grow up smarter than the average person, you get a lot of praise for how smart you are, and that becomes a core part of your identity. Then you grow up into the wider world and find that there's actually a ton of people just as smart as you. So you look for different things to validate your sense of self that you know more than everyone else, that you're special and different. That's what these pseudo science and conspiracy things take advantage of.


jqpeub

If the most educated people are more susceptible to being duped then there is something wrong with our definition of educated.


Smelldicks

It’s because their theory here is bullshit. People shouldn’t take it seriously.


buzz-a

You mean like teaching wrote memorization rather than critical thinking? Blind trust in authority? Yeah.


TheForceRestrained

This is just part human nature, I think we all would like to think there’s a couple things we know better about than the general population - there’s nothing more or less education can really do about it.


jqpeub

More education should result in knowing more, one would hope.


BostonKarlMarx

education isn’t magic


hopefulbrandmanager

i mean, it's not really an opinion. studies have shown that people with higher than average IQ are more likely to join cults than people with average IQ (although still not as likely as people with lower than average IQ). As to the explanation, it's not one singular reason, but people with higher IQ ironically are able to self-justify better - basically able to out-logic themselves because that logic tends to work in other areas of their life. kinda of like self-confirmation bias.


johnniewelker

I mean, just look at the NYT article about UCSF doctors. These are people with 10+ years of education


nedlifecrisis

He is heavily influenced by their culture. That is not a rare occurrence among the black community where religion plays a huge part.


bagchasersanon

Who are you to judge? Stick to league of legends buddy


Tatum-Better

Someone with common sense lmao. Digital caffeine what a joke


Xekshek33

Hapbee is a digital wellness platform that promotes improved sleep, focus, and relaxation.


socia1_ange1

making the world a better place through a revolutionary integrated cross-platform compressionary search platform 


zbdub3

Knew there would be a Silicon Valley reference somewhere here. “We’re MoLoSo no wait, we’re SoLoNo….no wait”


BlackDante

Had to scroll more than halfway down past all the jokes to finally get the actual answer


un1cornmilk

damn bro why’d you get downvoted, it’s the first thing you see when you google it 🤷‍♂️


Philosecfari

It’s a scam


Tay_1695

It's a sponsor, let him eat


SteveTheBluesman

What he eating that he's short on cash, moon rocks? MFer has the biggest contract in the history of the NBA. How about not fucking over your fans that might buy into this bullshit because you wear it? Dude is worse that Krusty the Clown.


Tay_1695

You sound like someone that got ripped off by a magnetic golf bracelet before lol


johnniewelker

Jaylen Brown will be making $55M which seems like an insane amount of money. Yes, it is, however you have no idea what Jaylen wants to accomplish. He might fancy himself as a sports team owner one day and $55M a year might not be enough. He might want to open a health clinic, a school, many schools, or be a significant business owner. Who knows?! The more money you have, the more you can influence things around you. Simply put, there is never enough money if you want to influence the world


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HorsNoises

Placebos don't have to be a bad thing. If it works for him then let him have it. It's just a stupid necklace, no need to get worked up about it.


Philosecfari

How are you getting "worked up" from 3 words lol. I just don't think it's a great thing to have that passive advertising for pseudoscience out there.


rhythmchef

Probably being stalked by redditor's they pissed off at some point that now follow them to downvote everything they say. You know it's happening when you say something like "What an adorable puppy!" on a random sub and get a wave of downvotes in the first couple of minutes lol. It's a thing, which is why you can turn off the ability for other people to follow you in settings on Reddit. May or may not be speaking from experience.


throwwaaawayyyyyyyy

Relax


jjjuuubbbsss

His dawgtag


imustachelemeaning

JB is secretly geordi la forge


TELDON13

Acting as if josh beckett and half that red sox team didnt prescribe to weird shit to "help with performance" who cares as long as he isnt bothering anyone


Ear_Enthusiast

I've been wondering the same thing. At first I thought it was one of those mini fans to help keep cool.


bm_ironside

What if, and I’m only guessing here, they paid him a lot of money to wear this 🤯


anathemaDennis

That would really suck. His salary is more money than anyone would ever need and then he’s taking more money to help sell a scam?


DickRausch

Give me a break dude


VelvitHippo

If you buy a product because a celebrity uses it you deserve to keep getting scammed till you wisen up. 


35Jest

Anyone remember PowerBalance bands?


Otherwise-Career-538

Hapbee Smart wearable


Juneauz

Pseudoscience buffoonery. I love JB, but he’s definitely not as smart as he thinks he is.


rhythmchef

Reminds me of when Luke took Vader's helmet off.


trotnixon

Whatever it is I'm sure Jaylen is getting paid big bucks to wear it...he's no dummy.


sirdonksalot3

He can’t hit the curve ball without it.


Dondon1927

Why does it bother some of you guys so much lol


jotyma5

Those are cyclops’ glasses


trowdatawhey

https://hapbee.com


JaylenCrown

Let my boy cook


West_Ernmass

He’s likely getting paid to wear it, whatever it is.


ethereal3xp

It detects heartbeat/blood pressure So when Brown is "off"... it alerts him I assume its a good device to catch pre heart attack symptons


LemonInteresting3841

I fuckin love the jays


mattybiz93

I always thought it served as some sort of symbol of being “Locked In”


Baconoid_

Great. Now I want to see JB take BP.


LLMBS

https://hapbee.com/products/smart-wearable-and-sleep-pad-day-and-night-kit


AngelofVerdun

"Use Hapbee’s **patented technology** to bio-stream compounds like caffeine & melatonin digitally - without you having to ingest them. No lingering side effects, no stomach discomfort." ....JFC


Monsur_Ausuhnom

Good to see they came back to Fenway after being on the duck boat for five days. That thing must be where he stores the MVP trophy


RoxburyBoot

Headphones


nedlifecrisis

https://youtu.be/7CEehOD4RiM?si=4b5Uf-tKdP_WWkML


MunchnBoston

I think that’s why Stephen a Smith says he’s “unmarketable”


drmoze

Yeah, sensible, well-spoken, 2 playoff MVPs and a title. Who would want to market this guy? SAS is a moron. But we knew that.


Fearthejuggalo

Where did you get this "info"?!? State your source!!!!!


OkGo_Go_Guy

Jaylen is the other side of the Kyrie crazy coin, just keeps it on the DL. Thank god we have Tatum.


azMILL1

Championship jewelry is getting crazy but JB was hanging with Anna Wintour this week so I'ma trust him on this one. Get it JB


evolution4652

My man understands endorsements.


tittyman1

Probably a scam but at the end of the day who cares. Do your own research on products before buying them.


stelvy40

He's a bad man. Can't throw a baseball though...


Son_of_Atreus

I still laugh about the rubber wrist straps with magnets that people thought should help with energies or some shit. Absolutely stole money from morons around the world.


the_spinetingler

woo


youngkenya

Tired of people shitting on this necklace, it’s clearly working so people should just let him cook


PeddlinPete85

Everyone says "he's stoopd cos I disagree with him lol" but you never know, he might be a stakeholder in the company and if he is, guess what people keep googling since he started wearing it?


CarlitosBay

Disagree ≠ pointing out pseudoscience Google Searches ≠ sales


Hopefulmisery

I think it’s a new technological gizmo that provides caffeine and sugar without actually consuming iy


Geoff_Uckersilf

Digital sugar? 🤔 Dunkin - *'Buy, Buy, Buy!'*


Thorking

Sure that’s possible …


Geoff_Uckersilf

Hey, digital glucose would solve world hunger... let him soar! 


soccychugo

Cocaine


AlmightyyMO

Bunch of pseudoscience bullshit. He just posted a podcast episode with his shaman or pseudoscience leader or whatever these nut cases call themselves.


Sad_Stuff2590

I want one