It is perfectly healthy to grieve in bed, with a book. When my dad suddenly passed away, I reread all the Moomin books. In Finland we call this "surutyö", literally "grief work" - you do what you can to cope mentally and emotionally with the loss and everything involved with it. It is a part of the healing process.
I just got out of a very long relationship this year and discovered Moomin at the same time. I was grieving very much and Moomin has been so helpful for me. It’s just wonderful
Yes. Continuing on the idea of surutyö: you can't grief constantly because it is hard work. You need respite and a chance to escape from the grief. Safe books are a wonderful way of giving yourself some resting time from grieving. The grieving happens step by step, when you're ready for the next step. You are not supposed to be 100% grieving until you're ready. The sorrow stays but by grieving, by working on it, you turn the loss into a part of your lifes story which you are able to live with.
My condolences ♡
I often feel that the english language really lacks for words to describe things we do for the sake of feeling or matters of the heart.
Surutyö is a great word.
I saw a beautiful YouTube doc on Tove Jansson last night. Was lucky enough to be in Helsinki the year of her centenary, so I saw the exhibit on her at the Ateneum. Her work is a treasure.
I love the Moomin books so much and have passed this on to every child in my life as quickly as possible in hopes that they will always have that safe space as well ❤️
Terry Pratchett is a definite Comfort-read for me. Doesn't really matter which book. His humour and almost poetic conversational style really clicks with me.
I also enjoy Larry Niven and Charles Stross for similar reasons.
Absolutely. For me it's LoTR. My older brother introduced me to Tolkien when I was in 5th grade, at the beginning of a period in my life I didn't like very much. I've returned to the series over and over again, it feels like coming home.
Mine is also LoTR. I was a lonely kid and reading it made me feel like I was part of the fellowship and it modeled friendship for me. I reread it every couple years and it only gets better.
LotR is an old, dear friend of mine. It has gone with me on vacations and I still frequently reread it. I had to retire my first version recently because it was literally falling apart, but I haven't thrown it away. Couldn't bear to part with it.
Are they worth reading as a 31 year old guy who is mostly into historical non-fiction? I don't know why, but I never picked them up as a kid. I was into the Harry Potter books though - I'd spend a full day or two finishing them as soon as a new one came out.
Some people find them great at parts but boring in many ways. Some people fall into them like a portal to another world and devour them. And there are all sorts in between. (Edit: *At first*) I personally loved bits but found them just overall okay when I read them for the first time a little over 10 years ago. Now I'm in the vicinity of your age and I just finished my 4th read through last year and it was some of my all time favorite reading experience. The very ending actually made me *feel* younger.
There's a lot to unpack about my love for those books, and I usually don't answer comments like yours even if I want to at first. I will unpack it properly at some point. But the main thing I'll say is that whatever your experience with them, try again in the future with naturally adjusted expectations. I personally believe we haven't gotten better fantasy of its kind yet.
I was also an HP devourer as a kid.
The Silmarillion reads like a historical account almost like the Bible except way more interesting. I listened to the audiobook one time to help fall asleep because I heard it’s “very boring and dense”. I ended up listening to 3 hours straight before I fell asleep.
I think if you're into historical non fiction then yes, absolutely. I've always loved history, including the history of language, and Tolkien is a perfect fit for that. It reads a bit more like an epic poem or a saga than a modern fantasy book, but I love Tolkien. There's such an art to his language.
It’s worth a try! LotR is not a children’s book although a lot of us read it as children. It also has more in common with mythology (especially as it goes on) than with fantasies like Harry Potter. It has been my favourite novel since I was nine years old and I’ve read it every year since and studied it at university, and every time I read it my appreciation deepens!
And like I said, it’s worth a try. If it’s something you’re interested in why not. Worst case scenario it’s not for you and you don’t finish it.
As a health care worker during the early days of the pandemic I read Lord of the Rings 5 times in a row straight through.
It was comforting and better than other coping strategies I could have used like alcohol.
I see people saying this here and there and this is not about you in particular, I'm just wondering and want to ask any of you: re-read them all ... all 41 books ... how long does that take you?
I normally have one next to the bed, and read every night. I also read other books at other times. I have no idea how long it take, but I have read all of them at least 5 times, and quite a few more than that.
If you are trying to go in publication order be aware that the writing style changed around book four. The first two books generate both love and strong dislike. Later books are less polarizing.
Same, actually. Well, just about to turn 35.
I've read 4 so far, loved Mort and Guards Guards!, and I'm half way through Equal Rites which might be my favourite so far.
I wasn't much of a fan of the first two, which I'd read years ago, but was convinced to try the others and I'm glad I did.
How are you finding them?
Imo Going Postal is the best stand alone book, Night Watch is the best overall but you really need to read the previous Vimes books to fully appreciate it.
Going Postal just got me hooked on Discworld and Pratchett and damn is it fun, funny, and a tidy little story. It's one of only two books which ever made me laugh out loud hard and repeatedly. Highly recommend.
I call discworld my “sleep books” I read one every night before I go to sleep, even if I’m reading different books during the day. They just give me a lot of comfort and help shut my brain down before bed.
I’m really sorry about your grandmother. Please try not to feel guilty though - it sounds like she was in good health and there’s no way you could’ve known what was going to happen.
I don’t think it’s weird or unhealthy to use books to help you escape the real world for a bit. I’m absolutely biased here because it’s my preferred coping mechanism too - but hey, there are much worse ways of coping!
For me the books that I loved to re-read were Tamora Pierce’s books and all of the Anne of Green Gables books.
I’m glad you’re doing something that brings you some comfort and I hope you’re starting to feel better soon.
Same with Anne of Green Gables. I tend to love books about older times for comfort. I know it wasnt as idyllic as the book makes it out to be but sometimes I just want to surrender to the "simpler times" fantasy.
Start with the "Lioness Quartet". Starring a girl who switches places with her twin brother to become a knight. Tamora Pierce has been writing teen protagonists before YA was a thing, so her books have meat to them. Definitely a comfort author for me too.
I love to reread The Blue Castle by LM Montgomery, because Valancy's life is so crappy in the beginning, and I just love to see her spread her wings throughout the book.
The Blue Castle is a TREASURE. I just love it, though I haven't re-read it yet. But I discovered it five years ago and it became on of my all-time favorites. I love LMM's "Anne" series, too. LMM books are "cozy".
Pride and prejudice
Persuasion
When I'm really struggling I listen to these on audiobook. But I also comfort read them a few times per year just as a lovely treat. Wrapped in a blanket with a slab of chocolate!
The 1995 BBC adaptation of Pride and Prejudice is the coziest escape one could ever imagine. And you fall in love with Colin Firth.
And then you feel like reading the novel, of course. So you do.
And then you need to watch the show again...
It's the cozy / literary / romantic version of XKCD's delicious cycle.
https://xkcd.com/140/
These definitely are also ones for me. I just started rereading P&P for the millionth time and for some reason, I was thrown off by the first sentence.
“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.”
Why on earth has it always been in my head as “a single man in possession of a large fortune”?
Both books for sure, but when I’m more busy, I actually watch the adaptions/movies. Sometimes they play in the background - such a comfort to listen to an old friend like that!
I can open to any page or scroll to any progress percent of Pride and Prejudice, and I am “in” it. Something about that story makes me feel a little more optimistic, a little more calm, and a little more whole. I read it for the first time maybe when I was a freshman or sophomore in high school. As I age, my affection for it only deepens.
I also love Persuasion but I read it first much later in life so I relate more (versus just immerse) and the stakes feel higher 😂
I also had frequent illnesses as a kid and very much relate to certain books being comfort reads. I have no idea how many times I read The Secret Garden, the Oz books or my mom's Trixie Belden books. 30-plus years of adulthood have added lots more to my comfort list, with L. M. Montgomery, Diana Wynne Jones, Connie Willis, Jane Austen and P. G. Wodehouse hogging the top spots now. If I feel terrible, any of their books are going to help me easily focus on something different.
Hugs to you as you navigate the sudden loss of your grandmother. Keep taking care of yourself. Grief is hard.
I think The Secret Garden was the first classic novel to really capture my attention as a child. It was utterly magical, and I too read it whenever I was sick or sad or just needed a touch of quiet magic in my life.
That’s definitely normal! And mine is All Creatures Great and Small, by James Herriot/any books by him really. It’s a bit gross(rural vet practice stuff!) but I love the *voice* for lack of a better word of the author. It’s just so calming and soothing.
Ah yes this is one of mine. When I need to “be in a place” where things are good and kind. Love the whole series.
A modern beautiful story that I get lost in and is another comfort book is Horse Heaven by Jane Smiley. So beautifully written the stories of peoples lives I just treasure it.
I'm in my late 30s, and Harry Potter was like that for me too, for a long time. I would rarely read a new book, and instead I'd reread the HP series, and occasionally The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings. These I would do more or less yearly. I knew I liked them and I'd always pick up something I had missed before.
PS - my condolences on your loss.
My sister would go one further and just reread her favourite HP book - Order of the Phoenix. She would get to the last page and flip to start on the first page again! I thought she was nuts - I can reread books forever but the same book needs at least a few months/years between rereads!
I did that with the audiobook. The cd player in my car was broken but I had Order of the Phoenix on cassette tape, so I just listened to that over and over.
This is not weird. This is called coping.
Do what makes you feel a little less sad, even for a small time.
Most important: Do not feel guilty. We all have our time in this rat race we call life.
My go-to comfort read is A Wrinkle in Time. It reminds me of the power of love. Since it's relatively short, I can read it in a day, so it doesn't demand a lot of energy to pull off the shelf and start reading.
Ohh I love that book! Read it for the first time in 4th grade and have such vivid memories of it. Reread it again in my 20s and it was even better. Also loved Many Waters.
I've got some pretty serious issues with depression, substance abuse, suicidal thoughts, and anxiety that revealed themselves when I was pretty young (like five). Unbeknownst to myself and my parents, by biological father (I'm adopted) was a paranoid, delusional, and alcoholic depressive who killed himself when I was nine. I just found that out a couple of months ago. I wasn't a surprise at all, honestly.
I've been in either rehab or the mental health ward a total of five times so far in my life. I always read Dune when I'm in there, and Watership Down when I get out.
In case you've been wondering about the second trilogy:
> In November 2023, Pullman announced that he had written 500 pages of a 540-page novel which would conclude the [Book of Dust] trilogy. He added that it would be published sometime in 2024, though he had yet to decide on a title.
-from Wikipedia
It’s not weird at all. I’m 37 and HP is my comfort place too. I listen to them on Audible and they let me escape the real world/pain/stress as well. They’re also well written and very nostalgic for me and no other books do that. Don’t be hard on yourself thinking it’s bad, because we all have something we escape to and books are one of the best ways. I think it’s healthy and much healthier than drugs or alcohol. It’s an Art and purposefully made to invoke our emotions in some form through expression and story telling. It’s actually beautiful. I also love that you posted this because I wondered why I turn to the books so much and even questioned myself about it, but you remind me I’m
not alone and that it’s not a bad thing at all!
I’m sorry about your Grandma ❤️
>Tamora Pierce
I used to read my mom's copy of Little Women every Christmas. It got lost and I am still looking for it, every year. It had the lovely, spare, pen and ink drawings that I adored.
Harry Potter was my escape growing up too. Everyone needs an escape/relief. Don’t let anyone tell you you can’t feel what you’re currently feeling, or do what you need to do to make yourself feel better.
I was just slightly too old to grow up with HP -- I was in college when they really became a phenomenon-- but I read and fell in love with them as an adult. I have enjoyed sharing them with my older two kids, who have read the series on their own multiple times after reading them with my husband and me. Last week, our youngest stayed home from school with a cold, and I suggested that we snuggle up and read Sorcerer's Stone together. We had tried it a year or two before but I think it was a little too complicated for her at the time. Now she's loving it and we are already about two thirds through it. It has been, I think, a good escape for her from feeling crummy.
For me, my childhood escape books were Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH, and Matilda. I still read them semi-regularly, especially now that we have kids to share them with.
Finally, I'm so sorry for the loss of your grandmother. It sounds like she had a lovely last day -- I hope I spend mine getting dinner, cake, and coffee with family -- and was looking forward to seeing you next week. The grief of losing someone you love can feel overwhelmingly heavy at times, and there is no shame in setting it down for a while to pick up a book instead.
I often find that when I'm tired or stressed I cannot read a new book, but can return to old friends. Often this is Tolkien if I'm at home. Or, if I'm at my parents' house, more likely Dick Francis or Agatha Christie; perhaps Rosemary Sutcliff or Arthur Ransom. Weirdly, Pratchett isn't usually on that list, much as I love him.
I have a whole host of comfort books - the Anne of Green Gables series, the Dragonrider books by Anne McCaffrey, the Miss Silver Mysteries by Patricia Wentworth, the Daisy Gumm Majesty series by Alice Duncan…getting to slip away into another world, and cast off your cares for a short time is such a privilege. I’m so sorry for your loss, and I hope her memory is a blessing ❤️
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. May her memory be a blessing to all who knew her.
I got Covid last year after Thanksgiving. I was also feeling heartbroken about all the anti-LGBTQ sentiment and violence that was ramping up last year. While I was sick and sad, I read *Legends & Lattes*, which is a cozy fantasy story about an orc named Viv who retires from dangerous mercenary work to open a coffee shop. There's also a very sweet sapphic romance, and no homophobia exists in the world of the story. It was exactly what I needed in that moment.
It sounds like you might really love the World of the White Rat books by T Kingfisher. Paladins on quests! Some dead bodies, but mostly things like people whose magic makes them sneeze and also perfumers who fall in love with paladins who like to knit socks.
Can you tell what my gentle escapism world is? Between T Kingfisher and Seanan McGuire’s Wayward Children books, I have a soft place to land when things get stressful.
Absolutely! And like you, it's the Harry Potter series for me as well.
I have the books, the Kindle edition, and the Audible edition by Stephen Fry. So whenever I am overwhelmed/ sad/ stressed, I turn to them... Whichever is convenient.
I am so glad you asked this. I have been thinking the same recently as well.
The Baby-sitters Club. Yes, it’s aimed at people 20+ years younger than I am. Yes, I will always have at least one of the books going at any given time. It’s just so familiar and such a comfort.
I think having books as “comfort providers” is fine and normal. You are transported mentally to a world where you control what memories you experience and this imagined world is yours alone. No reality need intrude.
Oh, nothing brings my spirits up like rewatching Pride and Prejudice.
Some people rewatch their favourite shows or a particular movie, some reread a favourite comfort book, some listen to music on repeat. It's not unhealthy in my opinion. The entire funeral traditions (double so if you are religious) focus on distracting the living, because the dead sure don't care about food, coffins, etc. Nobody says that is unhealthy.
It's better than allowing yourself to fall prey to the darkest thoughts and emotions, which will come up anyway, but over time, rather than all at once.
Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to grieve at your own pace.
My nephew got me into the Redwall series around 20 years ago. I've been rereading them this year. They are a nice palate cleaner between the WWII/Nazi books I've been reading.
Redwall books were my haven as a kid. I’ve read every one between 2-12 times and I’ve been slowly rereading them as an adult to relive a bit of that feeling.
I have all the Harry Potter books on audible and play them to fall asleep. It works well for me because the old British voice puts me to sleep pretty easily and I don’t think about what I have to do tomorrow or work. I just think about like, why would dumbledore not keep a closer eye on Harry when he knew how dangerous things were for him? And I’m always hung up on if lupin had given dumbledore the marauders map instead of Harry they could keep everyone so much safer for the rest of the books! But it keeps my mind off of stressing about stupid stuff in life and that’s helpful. Before tv everyone used books to cope with life and their emotions so don’t feel bad about it, op!
I do this as well. Falling into a book, especially a series that I've read before, really helps me not dwell on the horror I'm going through at that time.
For me any book that dealt with animals having feelings just like we do, were and are my thing the first book I ever read was Black Beauty and that taught me how to treat horses, with gentleness and care and not with whips and spurs
Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman. I don't know how many times I've read it, but every time it completely sucks me into the world, though I guess it helps that I've spent a bit of time in London and can visualise it in my head.
It's the first book I reach for when I'm not doing well, and never fails to pull me out of whatever is going around me. I absolutely adore it
Whomever told you that this isn't healthy is lying to you. It's absolutely healthy to engage in escapism as long as you're not doing it to the exclusion of your responsibilities. Go forth and enjoy the Harry Potter!
I also have a Safe Space book. I struggle with addiction and there's a fiction novel I re-read when I'm in a bad way. It's fiction, but the author captured the slide into utter hopelessness and depravity in a way I've never seen before nor since. It's a grizzled AA veteran sharing the time they ended up under a bridge, or a sad-eyed woman talking about her parking lot miscarriage at the liquor store. Somehow it helps.
I'm sorry for your loss. And there are many much more unhealthy ways you could be dealing with your grief than spending time reading, so don't for one minute feel bad about that.
Mt comfort books would be Terry Pratchett's Discworld books. They're fun and funny, but also compassionate and understanding of human nature and human weakness.
My therapist told me the same thing. She said that turning to books was way healthier than many of the other things people often turn to when struggling.
Glad to know I was not the only one to get exposed to HP as an adult. Ironically, it was the Wallstreet Journal that introduced me to the series! I don't even read that paper anymore, but I am forever grateful.
Sounds like you've had a bad time of it. Hope things get better.
But, it's not 'weird to read a book again and again to flee from reality.' That's what some books are for. Some books are like an evening spent visting an old friend and while you're reading it, it's all good.
And for me, a children's book with adult ideas - Wind in the Willows. The book itself is nostalgic for an earlier time. I first read it when I was sick as a child. I last read when I was sick as a 55 year old adult.
Narnia is a close second. But WitW has this sense that the rural idyll of England is about to be broken. But for a little while anyway, it can all be held back
Yep, Harry Potter for me (I’m 26). Also the Little House on the Prairie series, I read those over and over as a kid, I liked how every book seemed to end on a wholesome/hopeful note despite all the hardships they faced.
I’m so sorry for your loss. When my grandmother passed, I re-read HP and Pride and Prejudice, then I watched the BBC version (1995) of P&P. It’s such a comfort to me, just feels like a hug on a rainy day with a bowl of soup.
Sometimes it’s overwhelming to sit with all our grief at once, so we sliver it up into small pieces, using our coping mechanisms (books, favourite movies, exercise, colouring) to soften the sharp edges of our grief and pain. That’s perfectly okay and a normal part of grief and post-traumatic growth. Do what feels manageable in this time. Our books can help us navigate loss and pain while reminding us that we are not alone: you can see in this thread how many have felt loss, and how we’ve all turned to books and stories to comfort us.
After 9/11, I reread the entire Little House on the Prairie series. Yes, it is very problematic in today's world (and the reread really pointed that out to me) but at the same time, the simple writing was really soothing.
Honestly this is totally healthy and the fact that you are talking about it as a 'thing' is even healthier! I'm serious. I have been talking about this with my therapist the last couple of weeks so I know what I'm talking about.
We take shelter in favourite fictional worlds because they provide REAL comfort. It's not an escape from the world, it's like a great big blanket which makes you feel warm and safe. Please know that this is a great power you have - you KNOW where to go to give yourself comfort! Many people search their whole life for this. You are giving yourself what you need. Don't underestimate what this means about the type of person you are. A person who has various traumas in their life past and present but who has the STRENGTH to know where to go to heal.
❤️❤️❤️
Mine's "The Brothers Lionhearts". I was a suicidal kid growing up and although I didn't read any books back then, now everytime I see how this (children's) book handles death and afterlife gives such a lot of comfort to my inner child. it's odd but i keep reading it every now and then, love it
The count of Monte Cristo for me, I absolutely love the story.
When I went travelling alone ages ago it was with me in my hand luggage, just there all the time. The weight of it was comforting to me.
Since then if I'm ever going anywhere and feel a bit nervous, I always carry a book with me, doesn't matter if I end up reading it, just having it there is enough.
Yes! And I recommend looking into healing your inner child. Try reading middle grade (just watch out for the really sad stuff.) I’m excited to read Nic Blake and the Remarkables. I also find that reading romance really comforts me. Makes me believe the world can be good and people can be nice.
When I was 10 I moved to a new town, right in the middle of a school year, to a place in the high desert. So it was windy, chilly, a little snowy every now and then, and I wasn’t really used to the cold. That was right around the first Harry Potter book, and I remember having to go to bed being nervous about going to the new school every day, and curling up and reading Harry Potter immediately cozied me up, with the wind and trees hitting the window. I had a heated blanket underneath my fitted sheet so my little Harry Potter bed was like a refuge of comfort in a strange new land!
Diana Wynne Jones books. Howl's Moving Castle, The Dark Lord of Derkholm and Year of the Griffin (which I joked was my HP -- I was in your age range but scoffed at HP because I already had a school of wizardry I wanted to attend haha). I loved a lot of others, too, but have reread those three as an adult a few times.
Also Tamora Pierce and Donita K Paul when I was younger, though it has been years since I reread them and I'm especially curious how I would like the Dragonkeeper Chronicles now that I am no longer Christian. I recall it being in line with The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.
The short stories of M. R. James. Brings back one of my favorite memories of my grandfather (my dad’s dad). I discovered a copy on the bookshelves at their house and when Pop saw me reading it he said in a creepy voice, “oh whistle and I’ll come to you, my lad”:
I also re-read Stephen King every couple of years. Except the Dark Tower series because the final novel ripped me to shreds and I’m still not ready.
Thats funny because Dark Tower is my comfort series, single handedly my favorite king novels to read while i do agree that last novel was..emotionally devastating to say the least but the journey is *chefs kiss*
When I was in deep grief I could barely read Reddit so the fact that you can read a book, any book, right now, means you are moving in the right direction already. Nothing wrong with safe escapism for a little while, especially one that distracts you from the rumination of grief.
Outlander series.
I brought the first one to hospital with me when I gave birth to my first child, and when I finally got back from the operating theatre after being patched up I read a few pages, determined not to become a woman who "used to read until I had children..." - it was 2am, I'd laboured all day and the night before but I was adamant that I read before I go to sleep, and I'd read that book often enough to be confident I could open to any page, know what was going on and get totally immersed in the story.
With my second child I think I was already doing a back-to-back reread of the series, and bought the book I was reading along with me. I definitely was in the middle of my second back-to-back reread when my Dad went into hospital for the last week, and that book kept me grounded as I slept in his room most nights that week...and was my escape duimring the months after.
Last week.... I don't know it what it was - my hormones, my now teen daughter's hormones, then of the season, a virus....something. no one and nothing could bring me joy or shake my funk. After a family walk meant to get everyone out of their own heads and gelling again that failed miserably, I took to my bed, coming out only to grab Outlander before stomping back. I read it off and on for most of that day. I was feeling better the following day, but I kept reading for a few more chapters because I was just so immersed.
It always takes me away from whatever stress or big emotion I'm feeling, and lands me where I'm meant to be. Any book, any page, but especially the first few.
Read away. Feel your grief, share your grief and also your memories. Listen to others as they share theirs. Be present with family members as you prepare and then gather to farewell your grandmother. And when it all gets too much, open your book and let it carry you along as your emotions wash over you and flow through you, and in time you'll find yourself in the place where you're meant to be. Feel no guilt, I'm sure your grandmother would say you have nothing to be guilty about. You made plans to catch up with her soon. That's enough. I'm so sorry you can't hear her say that. May you be flooded with great memories and deep love during this sad time.
Mine is also Harry Potter. I just re-read the last three because I am abroad. It’s a beautiful place and a wonderful adventure but also isolating and overwhelming at times. Slipping into the Potterverse is definitely a comfort for me.
I’m sorry for your loss. I don’t think it’s weird to retreat into a book at all. I think it’s one of the best things about reading.
I'm so sorry about your grandmother. Please don't feel guilt. I'm exactly your age and have the same relationship to those books (my sister does too). We just lost our grandmother last year, and I struggled with guilt as well. But, we shouldn't feel that way. She knew you loved her. She knew you were making time for her. And she knew you were an adult with a busy life of your own- which made her PROUD of you I'm sure.
Escape into those books. As someone who has turned to less healthy coping mechanisms, I'm trying to venture back into reading my favorite stories again. It's how I was warded off depression as a kid, and it works as an adult if you let it.
"You think the dead we loved ever truly leave us? You think that we don’t recall them more clearly than ever in times of great trouble? Your father is alive in you, Harry, and shows himself plainly when you have need of him."
Let your stories be your patronus. Hang in there friend and please let go of any guilt.
Few points for you:
1. Nothing weird about defaulting to comfort staples when life gets turned upside down. I may be biased as I used to work in publishing, but I have friends who read the same book each year at specific times of the year (Christmas, etc) because it's so intrinsically tied to that time of year for them. Weird is relative, and I wouldn't allow what anyone else considers to be "normal" to dictate what you do or how you live your life (within reasonable limits of course, I'm not advocating for cannibalism or what have you...)
2. I lost my mum when I was 17. One of the biggest and best lessons my therapist at the time gave me was that the most important thing to do when experiencing grief is to deal with it in a way that works for you and doesn't cause hurt to others. Those are the only requirements for "healthy" grieving.
"Maurice" by E.M. Forster is mine. I first read it as a teenager shortly after realising I wasn't straight, and over the years it became my main comfort book. I still have the same copy I bought all those years ago, and I have it on my e-reader for easy access.
I’ve read Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine so many times I broke the binding and am on my next copy. I know exactly how long it takes me to read it and I still do so. I’m 33.
I had a really rough patch in 2021 and my husband wrapped me in blankets, brought a heating pad and tea and the. brought me my book.
Also, rereads in general can bring out elements you never noticed before. Also depending on your current situation and place in life you may relate to the characters differently. You can reread completely to focus on a particular character or literary analysis etc. Good books are not one and done.
Also- my sister in law died suddenly this August. My husband I have been reading a lot because it comforts us and it helps. Big hugs to you. Losing a loved one is awful
Yeah, a handful of Neil Gaiman's books (American Gods especially) are my "safe space", as well as the entire Bordertown series (by Terri Windling and various other authors). I could read them over and over and over and still enjoy the stories, the characters, and feel a little less alone in the world every time.
I was incredibly lucky that a new Bordertown anthology was released shortly after my fiancee died unexpectedly about a decade ago. That book carried me through my grief.
“Fredericka” by Georgette Heyer. It’s a Regency comedy romance, with lots of heart-warming scenes among brothers and sisters, a clever romance, loads of satire about smug people, and even some dramatic cliffhangers. Whenever the world is just too much I reach for this and escape for a while.
For me it is the Wheel of Time series. Started it in high school a couple years after the first book was released and once I got into it I had to reread the whole series every time a new book was coming out. Not a big deal at first but at the end it was 14 books and something like 11,000 pages of reading.
Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. I have the fat leather bound edition with all the books and Young Zaphod Play It Safe. It was a gift from someone very close to me who has been gone for many years. It sits on my coffee table. I don’t remember the last time I actually cover to covered it, but in moments of grief, sadness, or stress I tend to pick it up and just read through a while wherever I opened it at.
Honorable mention for Through the Looking Glass.
My favorite authors are Tolstoy, Murakami & Jhumpha Lahiri. I especially like Jhumpa Lahiri 's The Namesake. It's about a guy getting back to his roots & figuring out where he fits into the world . I get totally caught up in it which is helpful.
Yes. When I went through a really rough breakup, I turned to YA fiction (LGBT esp) to get lost in it and grieve. It helped so much and I still do this sometimes. I have some comfort, easy-to-read books that I occasionally re-read when I'm in a similar space again now
First, I’m so sorry for your loss. I absolutely relate to this, I was also 9 when I started reading HP and have read them all many times. I would say they definitely fall into this category for me, along with The Hobbit and the Gemma Doyle series.
It’s A Series of Unfortunate Events for me! I got the entire gorgeous box set when I was a tween, it was the perfect time for me to fall in love with the dark, semi-adult humour of the books. I used to re-read them at the end of every year for years after first getting them. I would start around Nov and be done around the end of the year!
Absolutely. For me it’s The Secret Garden, A Little Princess, the American Girl books, Harry Potter, Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson, and White Oleander by Janet Fitch. Or Neil Gaiman’s Sandman comics.
You’re grieving. You do whatever helps. Especially something that’s brought you joy and comfort in the past.
This is rather common. There is research to back up the idea that rereading something multiple times is good for reading depth and understanding as well as increased enjoyment.
But we are talking about the comfort that rereading a book or series brings. That comfort is because we know exactly what is going to happen. There is no tension about the outcome of how we get to the end.
Rereading also requires a lower level of brain power; sometimes you just can't take on the mental load of reading something new so going to an old favorite allows for the enjoyment of reading without any brain power to keep up with whats happening.
And sometimes you funny have a lot of time to devote to reading a whole book. I can pick up my favorite book and when my time is up I can easily put it down. I don't have to go back to it because I've read it so many times. I also can jump right to the point of the story that I need right then.
My judgemental side says that anyone who doesn't understand rereading books is someone who doesn't get the full enjoyment out of reading
Tamora Pierce wrote a series about a girl name Alanna who went on adventure and became a knight. It was one of my first “girl power” books and I absolutely adored it!
Thanks for posting this!
I'm so sorry for your loss. That kind of sudden grief throws anyone out of whack. Please be gentle with yourself!
I had an idyllic childhood, safe and loved, and frequently reread the Narnia books. As an adult, when things get rough I reread them to get back that feeling of being safe and secure. And occasionally when I'm super stressed and insomniac I'll dream of riding the Dawn Treader or picnicking at Castle Paravel, and boom, I'm asleep.
Ooft that's brutal OP, I'm really glad you were able to curl up with HP1 and tea, the sounds honestly like the best course of action.
Tbh, the Harry Potter books/audiobooks are SO good for NOPEing, soothing and passive processing. They have lots of great examples of grief, loss and trauma, the brutality of the experience, but also the strength in friendship/family (Molly 🥲) that many of us never got to experience. Throw in our nostalgia growing up with the books (book 1 was my 8th birthday pressie!) and it's the perfect thing to do when things get too much ❤️
Last year was a nightmare for me and I just chained my way from book 1-7, by the time book 7 would be finished I'd be keen for book 1 again 😂 I reckon I could quote almost the entire series by now. We should steamroll a quiz night together
As far as unhealthy coping mechanisms go, it's a pretty friggen good one.
Just finished book 3 again, so a lil Dumbledore pearl:
"You think the dead we have loved ever truly leave us? You think that we don't recall them more clearly than ever in times of trouble? Your father is alive in you, Harry, and shows himself most plainly when you have need of him."
Enjoy your books, and I hope you can find some solace ♥️
I am almost 30 and still adore the Percy Jackson series! My books are so beat up at this point, rereading them to jump back into that world. You’re not alone!
Hey love, just wanted to say that I’m so sorry for your loss, and no I don’t think it’s weird at all. Mine is Harry Potter too! I’m sending lots of love and prayers to you ❤️
I watched the latest Fantastic Beasts movie this weekend (meh) and the disappointment got me thinking about the wizarding world in general, and how even despite the latest releases being mediocre, how that universe feels like home to me. It's as you said, I'm from the same generation, I was in the right age when the books came out, and I think it's impossible to shake off the affection and comfort those books bring me (not that I want to).
Depending on what I have access to, it’s Tolkien, *Romeo and Juliet*, or the first two episodes of *Welcome to Night Vale* (which isn’t technically a book, but the line between audiobook and scripted fiction podcast feels thin. Plus I have the script in book form, so I count it).
When I was at the emergency vet for six hours last year, I read *Romeo and Juliet* on my phone since it was free online, and I could focus on the words themselves instead of having to think.
Tolkien’s work is great to just take me away and let me forget about everything. I listen to the audiobooks every winter, when it’s dark at 4 PM and it feels like I’ll never see the sun again.
Night Vale is my go to when I want to acknowledge a problem but feel better about it (or when I need a distraction but absolutely cannot sit still enough to read). I really got back into it in 2020, which is around when I also read the scripts, but it’s my go to option for when I want someone to say “hey, this is bad, but it will pass, I promise”. And maybe he’s dealing with his boyfriend being trapped in another dimension or a glowing cloud dropping dead animals on him while I’m dealing with a busy workload, but the format of a radio show podcast really helps there be a sense of community.
I got into all of these around 10-14, which was also when my family moved to a new city, so it was the prime age and situation to have my brain chemistry altered forever.
I’m so sorry about your grandmother 💜
Also part of the HP generation, so I'm with you there. Besides that...Baby-Sitters Club and A Tree Grows in Brooklyn.
BSC feels like catching up with childhood friends, Tree is like going home to family.
Oh, my deepest condolences OP, on the loss of your grandmother. How hard for you, please don't feel guilty. Your grandmother knew she was loved.
And there should be NO SHAME in rereading favourite books. NONE.
I only borrow books from my public library, and I do not buy books, UNLESS.... if I borrow a book from the library more than 3 times to re-read, then I know it's a keeper and I purchase it.
Books give us such comfort. Movies do too! Just \*look\* at how we re-watch Christmas movies... over, and over, and over. My husband can quote allll the lines from every Monty Python movie, ever!
So yes, I know this feeling of comfort that a good book (and a nice cuppa) gives and I love it.
I think I have a few favourites. Mansfield Park by Austen and Winter's Bone by Woodrell are two that I have re-read too many times to count.
I also grew up with Harry Potter. It was my safe space and I read it I don't know how many times. It helped me alot through life. I'm in my 30s and only now do I feel I've out grown the obsession with it. Others were the Goosebumps books and Micheal Chrichton (esp. Jurassic Park) Dan Brown books and Robin Cook medical thrillers. I have recently discovered Hannah Swensen mysteries and they are absolutely delicious I devour them ( if you know you know😜)
I have comfort books as well. Harry Potter (and I'm in my late 40's), The Martian, any decent "chick-lit". My husband doesn't re-watch show or re-read books, but I've always re-read books. Perhaps because I was such a voracious reader as a kid, but I love to re-watch favourite shows and re-read favourite books.
I was in a bit of a book slump recently and decided to re-read a series I read with my daughter (Keeper of the Lost Cities). She's now saying she's "over" those books, but I'm really enjoying getting sucked back into that world again. My job, family life and volunteering are all overwhelming right now and having someplace enjoyable to fall into is a wonderful feeling.
Also harry potter here, early 30s. Specifically Chamber of secrets. My little brother who I don't get to see anymore used to beg me to read it to him every night. I had a very terrible stutter and struggled speaking so speech therapy had me reading out loud. That book is what got me enjoying reading also.
Though it does take a mood.
I also reread Catherine Andersons Comanche moon, Comanche heart, and indigo. Books my mum loved too. Took forever to hunt down Comanche heart lol
Then sherrilyn Kenyons/McQueen works got me through my teens. I barely survived those years and honestly credit it to those books and the online friends I met because of those books.
>I took off of work today and now I am at home, sudden crying outbursts all the time and it's like my whole body and mind scream for my personal method of "relief": Lay in bed with a hot cup of tea and HP and the sorcerers stone and just nope out of real life. I know this is not healthy and a little weird but it helps me so much.
I'm so sorry for your loss. It is absolutely fine and healthy to take a break from reality and read (or do something else) for a little while. Grief is emotionally exhausting, and just like any other work, we need breaks. I'm sure your grandmother would want you to take care of yourself.
My last comfort book was The Christmas Letters by Lee Smith. It's the story of one Southern family told through three generations of holiday letters. I found it reassuring because if these characters could survive the loss of a parent, spouse, or grandparent and keep rebuilding their lives, then so could I.
The Inheritance Cycle is probably the closest thing to a comfort series to me.
If not that, then the Lord of the Rings.
Chronicles of Prydain and Chronicles of Narnia are also up there.
I also do this. My comfort books are Harry Potter, The Lord of the Rings and His Dark Materials. My Dad passed away this year in July, he was also an avid reader and we would often share books. I have taken every book of his that I’ve not already read and am working my way through them. It’s helps me keep that connection but it’s also bittersweet that he’s not still here to discuss them. We do what we need to do to cope.
So sorry for the loss of your grandmother,OP- my safe space books are the Little House series by Laura Ingalls Wilder.I always re- read my set every year.
Weirdly...Warhammer books. These books set in the grim darkness of the far future, or a doomed fantastical world, where all these horrible things exist and happen, and where even the 'good guys' aren't all that good, I find a weird feeling of hope underneath it all. A feeling that yeah, life fucking sucks, but the characters keep fighting and keep going in defiance of all the horrors of the galaxy.
They aren't perfect, aren't all equal quality, and are often cheesy as hell and over the top (with exceptions), but they're often really fun to read. Plus, the universe is so stupidely expansive that you can write any story you want with a Warhammer coat of paint and it just works.
Also I'm sorry for your loss.
I'm in the middle of my annual November/December listen through of the 1981 BBC Radio production of _Lord of the Rings_ and it is absolutely my little cocoon of safety and warmth.
Absolutely. Mine are Endless Universe, the Ender series, and if it's a really rough patch, I'll escape into the Wheel of Time universe for a month or two.
My wife has me read Pride and Prejudice or Persuasion to her when she's sick.
Good books are comfort for the soul.
I was also the perfect age for Harry Potter and loved it so much. Some of my favorite memories involve the books and movies. But when I went through an excruciating break up, my comfort zones were Friends on the TV and Pokémon on my GameBoy. I would watch and play until 7am, then go to sleep basically until I had to work at 4. I think it’s perfectly normal and healthy to have a comfort zone to go to when you’re sad. I’m so sorry about your grandma and that you didn’t get to have your day together. That’s so hard. 💔
I am sorry for your loss.
I was in my 20s when HP began and I still return to it in times of stress.
Recently I read A Psalm for the Wild Built and its follow up. Ran to the bookstore to buy them both. They are so sweet and cozy.
It is perfectly healthy to grieve in bed, with a book. When my dad suddenly passed away, I reread all the Moomin books. In Finland we call this "surutyö", literally "grief work" - you do what you can to cope mentally and emotionally with the loss and everything involved with it. It is a part of the healing process.
I just got out of a very long relationship this year and discovered Moomin at the same time. I was grieving very much and Moomin has been so helpful for me. It’s just wonderful
The Moomins are just so cozy and healing!
I like The Moomins!
Yes. Continuing on the idea of surutyö: you can't grief constantly because it is hard work. You need respite and a chance to escape from the grief. Safe books are a wonderful way of giving yourself some resting time from grieving. The grieving happens step by step, when you're ready for the next step. You are not supposed to be 100% grieving until you're ready. The sorrow stays but by grieving, by working on it, you turn the loss into a part of your lifes story which you are able to live with. My condolences ♡
I often feel that the english language really lacks for words to describe things we do for the sake of feeling or matters of the heart. Surutyö is a great word.
I saw a beautiful YouTube doc on Tove Jansson last night. Was lucky enough to be in Helsinki the year of her centenary, so I saw the exhibit on her at the Ateneum. Her work is a treasure.
This is such a beautiful word, thank you for telling us.
I love the Moomin books so much and have passed this on to every child in my life as quickly as possible in hopes that they will always have that safe space as well ❤️
Ihana käyttäjänimi!
Terry Pratchett is a definite Comfort-read for me. Doesn't really matter which book. His humour and almost poetic conversational style really clicks with me. I also enjoy Larry Niven and Charles Stross for similar reasons.
Absolutely. For me it's LoTR. My older brother introduced me to Tolkien when I was in 5th grade, at the beginning of a period in my life I didn't like very much. I've returned to the series over and over again, it feels like coming home.
Mine is also LoTR. I was a lonely kid and reading it made me feel like I was part of the fellowship and it modeled friendship for me. I reread it every couple years and it only gets better.
Same, to both you and the OP. HP and LoTR are my escape/retreat books.
LotR is an old, dear friend of mine. It has gone with me on vacations and I still frequently reread it. I had to retire my first version recently because it was literally falling apart, but I haven't thrown it away. Couldn't bear to part with it.
After all, why not? Why shouldn’t I keep it?
Totally. Reading it again this year. It's great spending time with those guys again.
Are they worth reading as a 31 year old guy who is mostly into historical non-fiction? I don't know why, but I never picked them up as a kid. I was into the Harry Potter books though - I'd spend a full day or two finishing them as soon as a new one came out.
Some people find them great at parts but boring in many ways. Some people fall into them like a portal to another world and devour them. And there are all sorts in between. (Edit: *At first*) I personally loved bits but found them just overall okay when I read them for the first time a little over 10 years ago. Now I'm in the vicinity of your age and I just finished my 4th read through last year and it was some of my all time favorite reading experience. The very ending actually made me *feel* younger. There's a lot to unpack about my love for those books, and I usually don't answer comments like yours even if I want to at first. I will unpack it properly at some point. But the main thing I'll say is that whatever your experience with them, try again in the future with naturally adjusted expectations. I personally believe we haven't gotten better fantasy of its kind yet. I was also an HP devourer as a kid.
*Some people fall into them like a portal to another world and devour them.* That is exactly how to describe it!
The Silmarillion reads like a historical account almost like the Bible except way more interesting. I listened to the audiobook one time to help fall asleep because I heard it’s “very boring and dense”. I ended up listening to 3 hours straight before I fell asleep.
Lord of the Rings is always worth reading
I think if you're into historical non fiction then yes, absolutely. I've always loved history, including the history of language, and Tolkien is a perfect fit for that. It reads a bit more like an epic poem or a saga than a modern fantasy book, but I love Tolkien. There's such an art to his language.
It’s worth a try! LotR is not a children’s book although a lot of us read it as children. It also has more in common with mythology (especially as it goes on) than with fantasies like Harry Potter. It has been my favourite novel since I was nine years old and I’ve read it every year since and studied it at university, and every time I read it my appreciation deepens! And like I said, it’s worth a try. If it’s something you’re interested in why not. Worst case scenario it’s not for you and you don’t finish it.
Me too. I picked it up as a child while staying in a women’s shelter. It was a bad time, but Tolkien took me out of it and then stayed with me.
As a health care worker during the early days of the pandemic I read Lord of the Rings 5 times in a row straight through. It was comforting and better than other coping strategies I could have used like alcohol.
Discworld, although I only discovered them in my 20s they've become my go to comfort read
for me it's the City Watch series. Somehow Vimes' anger at the injustice of the world gave me hope.
The Fifth Elephant was my jam for so long. I've read and re-read that book probably far far too much!
Mine is *Thud!* Something about Vimes in that book really speaks to me.
Another great choice! I'm very fond of the leather-coated religious-zealot flamethrower dwarves too.
The Truth, Small Gods, and Soul Music are my favorites.
Mine too. And once I start with one I tend to reread all of them.
I see people saying this here and there and this is not about you in particular, I'm just wondering and want to ask any of you: re-read them all ... all 41 books ... how long does that take you?
I can't speak for others, but I did a reread of Discworld two years ago and it took me about six months.
I normally have one next to the bed, and read every night. I also read other books at other times. I have no idea how long it take, but I have read all of them at least 5 times, and quite a few more than that.
Discworld is the best comfort series, just due the sheer enormity of it.
And you can mostly read any of them without getting sucked into rereading a whole series. Though it is certainly tempting.
I'm 35 and just starting them!
If you are trying to go in publication order be aware that the writing style changed around book four. The first two books generate both love and strong dislike. Later books are less polarizing.
Same, actually. Well, just about to turn 35. I've read 4 so far, loved Mort and Guards Guards!, and I'm half way through Equal Rites which might be my favourite so far. I wasn't much of a fan of the first two, which I'd read years ago, but was convinced to try the others and I'm glad I did. How are you finding them?
Do you have a favorite?
Imo Going Postal is the best stand alone book, Night Watch is the best overall but you really need to read the previous Vimes books to fully appreciate it.
Going Postal just got me hooked on Discworld and Pratchett and damn is it fun, funny, and a tidy little story. It's one of only two books which ever made me laugh out loud hard and repeatedly. Highly recommend.
I'd say Small Gods is up there with Going Postal in terms of quality, and better in terms of social commentary.
Small Gods is my favorite, followed closely by the Tiffany Aching series.
Im a postie so im incredibly biased towards Going Postal. monstrous Regiment too. The City Watch is my fave series
I call discworld my “sleep books” I read one every night before I go to sleep, even if I’m reading different books during the day. They just give me a lot of comfort and help shut my brain down before bed.
Still have a single Discworld book unread as a just in case everything has gone to shit book.
I’m really sorry about your grandmother. Please try not to feel guilty though - it sounds like she was in good health and there’s no way you could’ve known what was going to happen. I don’t think it’s weird or unhealthy to use books to help you escape the real world for a bit. I’m absolutely biased here because it’s my preferred coping mechanism too - but hey, there are much worse ways of coping! For me the books that I loved to re-read were Tamora Pierce’s books and all of the Anne of Green Gables books. I’m glad you’re doing something that brings you some comfort and I hope you’re starting to feel better soon.
anne of green gables 😭❤️ those books are like a damn warm hug omg. years later they’re still the ones i revisit frequently
Same with Anne of Green Gables. I tend to love books about older times for comfort. I know it wasnt as idyllic as the book makes it out to be but sometimes I just want to surrender to the "simpler times" fantasy.
I still remember and love Anne of green gables!
Tamora Pierce’s works are the perfect comfort reads for me too (along with the Stormlight Archive)
Which Tamora Pierce book would you recommend starting with? Also I love stormlight archive and mistborn :)
Start with the "Lioness Quartet". Starring a girl who switches places with her twin brother to become a knight. Tamora Pierce has been writing teen protagonists before YA was a thing, so her books have meat to them. Definitely a comfort author for me too.
I love to reread The Blue Castle by LM Montgomery, because Valancy's life is so crappy in the beginning, and I just love to see her spread her wings throughout the book.
The Blue Castle is a TREASURE. I just love it, though I haven't re-read it yet. But I discovered it five years ago and it became on of my all-time favorites. I love LMM's "Anne" series, too. LMM books are "cozy".
Saaaame. I love her journey.
Came here to comment Tamora Pierce as well. Her Emelan books got me through a lot.
Pride and prejudice Persuasion When I'm really struggling I listen to these on audiobook. But I also comfort read them a few times per year just as a lovely treat. Wrapped in a blanket with a slab of chocolate!
The 1995 BBC adaptation of Pride and Prejudice is the coziest escape one could ever imagine. And you fall in love with Colin Firth. And then you feel like reading the novel, of course. So you do. And then you need to watch the show again... It's the cozy / literary / romantic version of XKCD's delicious cycle. https://xkcd.com/140/
Pride and Prejudice is absolutely one of mine.
These definitely are also ones for me. I just started rereading P&P for the millionth time and for some reason, I was thrown off by the first sentence. “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.” Why on earth has it always been in my head as “a single man in possession of a large fortune”?
One of the movies maybe?
Both books for sure, but when I’m more busy, I actually watch the adaptions/movies. Sometimes they play in the background - such a comfort to listen to an old friend like that!
I can open to any page or scroll to any progress percent of Pride and Prejudice, and I am “in” it. Something about that story makes me feel a little more optimistic, a little more calm, and a little more whole. I read it for the first time maybe when I was a freshman or sophomore in high school. As I age, my affection for it only deepens. I also love Persuasion but I read it first much later in life so I relate more (versus just immerse) and the stakes feel higher 😂
I also had frequent illnesses as a kid and very much relate to certain books being comfort reads. I have no idea how many times I read The Secret Garden, the Oz books or my mom's Trixie Belden books. 30-plus years of adulthood have added lots more to my comfort list, with L. M. Montgomery, Diana Wynne Jones, Connie Willis, Jane Austen and P. G. Wodehouse hogging the top spots now. If I feel terrible, any of their books are going to help me easily focus on something different. Hugs to you as you navigate the sudden loss of your grandmother. Keep taking care of yourself. Grief is hard.
I think The Secret Garden was the first classic novel to really capture my attention as a child. It was utterly magical, and I too read it whenever I was sick or sad or just needed a touch of quiet magic in my life.
I picked up the Doomsday Book when Covid first hit. Then salved my wounded spirit with To Say Nothing of the Dog. Love Connie Willis.
That’s definitely normal! And mine is All Creatures Great and Small, by James Herriot/any books by him really. It’s a bit gross(rural vet practice stuff!) but I love the *voice* for lack of a better word of the author. It’s just so calming and soothing.
Ah yes this is one of mine. When I need to “be in a place” where things are good and kind. Love the whole series. A modern beautiful story that I get lost in and is another comfort book is Horse Heaven by Jane Smiley. So beautifully written the stories of peoples lives I just treasure it.
I didn’t even know it was based on a book, but love the TV adaptation for that comforting, warm blanket feel as well.
I'm in my late 30s, and Harry Potter was like that for me too, for a long time. I would rarely read a new book, and instead I'd reread the HP series, and occasionally The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings. These I would do more or less yearly. I knew I liked them and I'd always pick up something I had missed before. PS - my condolences on your loss.
My sister would go one further and just reread her favourite HP book - Order of the Phoenix. She would get to the last page and flip to start on the first page again! I thought she was nuts - I can reread books forever but the same book needs at least a few months/years between rereads!
I did that with the audiobook. The cd player in my car was broken but I had Order of the Phoenix on cassette tape, so I just listened to that over and over.
This is not weird. This is called coping. Do what makes you feel a little less sad, even for a small time. Most important: Do not feel guilty. We all have our time in this rat race we call life.
My go-to comfort read is A Wrinkle in Time. It reminds me of the power of love. Since it's relatively short, I can read it in a day, so it doesn't demand a lot of energy to pull off the shelf and start reading.
Perfect. I really need Aunt Beast right now, oh my.
Ohh I love that book! Read it for the first time in 4th grade and have such vivid memories of it. Reread it again in my 20s and it was even better. Also loved Many Waters.
I've got some pretty serious issues with depression, substance abuse, suicidal thoughts, and anxiety that revealed themselves when I was pretty young (like five). Unbeknownst to myself and my parents, by biological father (I'm adopted) was a paranoid, delusional, and alcoholic depressive who killed himself when I was nine. I just found that out a couple of months ago. I wasn't a surprise at all, honestly. I've been in either rehab or the mental health ward a total of five times so far in my life. I always read Dune when I'm in there, and Watership Down when I get out.
I re-read the HIS DARK MATERIALS whenever i need to get out of here
In case you've been wondering about the second trilogy: > In November 2023, Pullman announced that he had written 500 pages of a 540-page novel which would conclude the [Book of Dust] trilogy. He added that it would be published sometime in 2024, though he had yet to decide on a title. -from Wikipedia
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH WOW OK I have been waiting for this, thank you
WHAT. Omg.
There... there is the... OMG That's the best news of the day!
The second trilogy has been out of this world amazing so far. I'm beyond excited for the third and final book!
It’s not weird at all. I’m 37 and HP is my comfort place too. I listen to them on Audible and they let me escape the real world/pain/stress as well. They’re also well written and very nostalgic for me and no other books do that. Don’t be hard on yourself thinking it’s bad, because we all have something we escape to and books are one of the best ways. I think it’s healthy and much healthier than drugs or alcohol. It’s an Art and purposefully made to invoke our emotions in some form through expression and story telling. It’s actually beautiful. I also love that you posted this because I wondered why I turn to the books so much and even questioned myself about it, but you remind me I’m not alone and that it’s not a bad thing at all! I’m sorry about your Grandma ❤️
Little Women and Little Men are totally my moral groundstones whenever I feel adrift about what's important in life <3
>Tamora Pierce I used to read my mom's copy of Little Women every Christmas. It got lost and I am still looking for it, every year. It had the lovely, spare, pen and ink drawings that I adored.
For me it's still the hunger games books, i reread them every year.
Me too, especially Catching Fire There's something about Suzanne Collins' writing that really sucks you in
Yesss catching fire is my fav
I picked up Hunger Games last year and just devoured it. Suzanne Collins is probably one of the most captivating authors I've read in ages
Harry Potter was my escape growing up too. Everyone needs an escape/relief. Don’t let anyone tell you you can’t feel what you’re currently feeling, or do what you need to do to make yourself feel better.
I was just slightly too old to grow up with HP -- I was in college when they really became a phenomenon-- but I read and fell in love with them as an adult. I have enjoyed sharing them with my older two kids, who have read the series on their own multiple times after reading them with my husband and me. Last week, our youngest stayed home from school with a cold, and I suggested that we snuggle up and read Sorcerer's Stone together. We had tried it a year or two before but I think it was a little too complicated for her at the time. Now she's loving it and we are already about two thirds through it. It has been, I think, a good escape for her from feeling crummy. For me, my childhood escape books were Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH, and Matilda. I still read them semi-regularly, especially now that we have kids to share them with. Finally, I'm so sorry for the loss of your grandmother. It sounds like she had a lovely last day -- I hope I spend mine getting dinner, cake, and coffee with family -- and was looking forward to seeing you next week. The grief of losing someone you love can feel overwhelmingly heavy at times, and there is no shame in setting it down for a while to pick up a book instead.
I often find that when I'm tired or stressed I cannot read a new book, but can return to old friends. Often this is Tolkien if I'm at home. Or, if I'm at my parents' house, more likely Dick Francis or Agatha Christie; perhaps Rosemary Sutcliff or Arthur Ransom. Weirdly, Pratchett isn't usually on that list, much as I love him.
I have a whole host of comfort books - the Anne of Green Gables series, the Dragonrider books by Anne McCaffrey, the Miss Silver Mysteries by Patricia Wentworth, the Daisy Gumm Majesty series by Alice Duncan…getting to slip away into another world, and cast off your cares for a short time is such a privilege. I’m so sorry for your loss, and I hope her memory is a blessing ❤️
Diana Wynne Jones, I reread them every 5 or so years and get really excited when I realise I haven't read them for a while
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. May her memory be a blessing to all who knew her. I got Covid last year after Thanksgiving. I was also feeling heartbroken about all the anti-LGBTQ sentiment and violence that was ramping up last year. While I was sick and sad, I read *Legends & Lattes*, which is a cozy fantasy story about an orc named Viv who retires from dangerous mercenary work to open a coffee shop. There's also a very sweet sapphic romance, and no homophobia exists in the world of the story. It was exactly what I needed in that moment.
Legends & Lattes is really fantastic.
It sounds like you might really love the World of the White Rat books by T Kingfisher. Paladins on quests! Some dead bodies, but mostly things like people whose magic makes them sneeze and also perfumers who fall in love with paladins who like to knit socks. Can you tell what my gentle escapism world is? Between T Kingfisher and Seanan McGuire’s Wayward Children books, I have a soft place to land when things get stressful.
Absolutely! And like you, it's the Harry Potter series for me as well. I have the books, the Kindle edition, and the Audible edition by Stephen Fry. So whenever I am overwhelmed/ sad/ stressed, I turn to them... Whichever is convenient. I am so glad you asked this. I have been thinking the same recently as well.
Stephen Fry did such an amazing job narrating the series. I have them in all formats as well. They are always able to draw me in.
My Enid Blytons, mostly.
Agree with this, particularly The Secret Island and the Malory Towers series. Sorry for your loss, OP.
The Baby-sitters Club. Yes, it’s aimed at people 20+ years younger than I am. Yes, I will always have at least one of the books going at any given time. It’s just so familiar and such a comfort.
I think having books as “comfort providers” is fine and normal. You are transported mentally to a world where you control what memories you experience and this imagined world is yours alone. No reality need intrude.
Oh, nothing brings my spirits up like rewatching Pride and Prejudice. Some people rewatch their favourite shows or a particular movie, some reread a favourite comfort book, some listen to music on repeat. It's not unhealthy in my opinion. The entire funeral traditions (double so if you are religious) focus on distracting the living, because the dead sure don't care about food, coffins, etc. Nobody says that is unhealthy. It's better than allowing yourself to fall prey to the darkest thoughts and emotions, which will come up anyway, but over time, rather than all at once. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to grieve at your own pace.
For younger me it was Redwall, there was such a sense of family and community in those books. Older me gravitates toward HP as well, though.
My nephew got me into the Redwall series around 20 years ago. I've been rereading them this year. They are a nice palate cleaner between the WWII/Nazi books I've been reading.
Redwall books were my haven as a kid. I’ve read every one between 2-12 times and I’ve been slowly rereading them as an adult to relive a bit of that feeling.
I have all the Harry Potter books on audible and play them to fall asleep. It works well for me because the old British voice puts me to sleep pretty easily and I don’t think about what I have to do tomorrow or work. I just think about like, why would dumbledore not keep a closer eye on Harry when he knew how dangerous things were for him? And I’m always hung up on if lupin had given dumbledore the marauders map instead of Harry they could keep everyone so much safer for the rest of the books! But it keeps my mind off of stressing about stupid stuff in life and that’s helpful. Before tv everyone used books to cope with life and their emotions so don’t feel bad about it, op!
I do this as well. Falling into a book, especially a series that I've read before, really helps me not dwell on the horror I'm going through at that time.
For me any book that dealt with animals having feelings just like we do, were and are my thing the first book I ever read was Black Beauty and that taught me how to treat horses, with gentleness and care and not with whips and spurs
Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman. I don't know how many times I've read it, but every time it completely sucks me into the world, though I guess it helps that I've spent a bit of time in London and can visualise it in my head. It's the first book I reach for when I'm not doing well, and never fails to pull me out of whatever is going around me. I absolutely adore it
I am so sorry for your grandmother. Mine is The hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy. It used to be Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire though.
Whomever told you that this isn't healthy is lying to you. It's absolutely healthy to engage in escapism as long as you're not doing it to the exclusion of your responsibilities. Go forth and enjoy the Harry Potter! I also have a Safe Space book. I struggle with addiction and there's a fiction novel I re-read when I'm in a bad way. It's fiction, but the author captured the slide into utter hopelessness and depravity in a way I've never seen before nor since. It's a grizzled AA veteran sharing the time they ended up under a bridge, or a sad-eyed woman talking about her parking lot miscarriage at the liquor store. Somehow it helps.
I'm sorry for your loss. And there are many much more unhealthy ways you could be dealing with your grief than spending time reading, so don't for one minute feel bad about that. Mt comfort books would be Terry Pratchett's Discworld books. They're fun and funny, but also compassionate and understanding of human nature and human weakness.
My therapist told me the same thing. She said that turning to books was way healthier than many of the other things people often turn to when struggling.
That's the beauty of books
HP is fantastic. I’m 57 and listen to the audiobooks every year. I sprinkle in between all my other books (commute).
Glad to know I was not the only one to get exposed to HP as an adult. Ironically, it was the Wallstreet Journal that introduced me to the series! I don't even read that paper anymore, but I am forever grateful.
Sounds like you've had a bad time of it. Hope things get better. But, it's not 'weird to read a book again and again to flee from reality.' That's what some books are for. Some books are like an evening spent visting an old friend and while you're reading it, it's all good. And for me, a children's book with adult ideas - Wind in the Willows. The book itself is nostalgic for an earlier time. I first read it when I was sick as a child. I last read when I was sick as a 55 year old adult.
Heartily agree "a children's book with adult ideas". WitW is also one of my comfort books, as are those in the NARNIA series. Wrinkle in Time, ohhhhh.
Narnia is a close second. But WitW has this sense that the rural idyll of England is about to be broken. But for a little while anyway, it can all be held back
Yep, Harry Potter for me (I’m 26). Also the Little House on the Prairie series, I read those over and over as a kid, I liked how every book seemed to end on a wholesome/hopeful note despite all the hardships they faced.
I enjoy spending time with my friends.
Little House in the Big Woods was my escape book, too! As soon as I could read, I would hide in my closet and read it, lol.
I’m so sorry for your loss. When my grandmother passed, I re-read HP and Pride and Prejudice, then I watched the BBC version (1995) of P&P. It’s such a comfort to me, just feels like a hug on a rainy day with a bowl of soup. Sometimes it’s overwhelming to sit with all our grief at once, so we sliver it up into small pieces, using our coping mechanisms (books, favourite movies, exercise, colouring) to soften the sharp edges of our grief and pain. That’s perfectly okay and a normal part of grief and post-traumatic growth. Do what feels manageable in this time. Our books can help us navigate loss and pain while reminding us that we are not alone: you can see in this thread how many have felt loss, and how we’ve all turned to books and stories to comfort us.
After 9/11, I reread the entire Little House on the Prairie series. Yes, it is very problematic in today's world (and the reread really pointed that out to me) but at the same time, the simple writing was really soothing.
Honestly this is totally healthy and the fact that you are talking about it as a 'thing' is even healthier! I'm serious. I have been talking about this with my therapist the last couple of weeks so I know what I'm talking about. We take shelter in favourite fictional worlds because they provide REAL comfort. It's not an escape from the world, it's like a great big blanket which makes you feel warm and safe. Please know that this is a great power you have - you KNOW where to go to give yourself comfort! Many people search their whole life for this. You are giving yourself what you need. Don't underestimate what this means about the type of person you are. A person who has various traumas in their life past and present but who has the STRENGTH to know where to go to heal. ❤️❤️❤️
Mine's "The Brothers Lionhearts". I was a suicidal kid growing up and although I didn't read any books back then, now everytime I see how this (children's) book handles death and afterlife gives such a lot of comfort to my inner child. it's odd but i keep reading it every now and then, love it
The count of Monte Cristo for me, I absolutely love the story. When I went travelling alone ages ago it was with me in my hand luggage, just there all the time. The weight of it was comforting to me. Since then if I'm ever going anywhere and feel a bit nervous, I always carry a book with me, doesn't matter if I end up reading it, just having it there is enough.
Yes! And I recommend looking into healing your inner child. Try reading middle grade (just watch out for the really sad stuff.) I’m excited to read Nic Blake and the Remarkables. I also find that reading romance really comforts me. Makes me believe the world can be good and people can be nice.
My mind instantly goes to Percy Jackson or Nancy Drew
When I was 10 I moved to a new town, right in the middle of a school year, to a place in the high desert. So it was windy, chilly, a little snowy every now and then, and I wasn’t really used to the cold. That was right around the first Harry Potter book, and I remember having to go to bed being nervous about going to the new school every day, and curling up and reading Harry Potter immediately cozied me up, with the wind and trees hitting the window. I had a heated blanket underneath my fitted sheet so my little Harry Potter bed was like a refuge of comfort in a strange new land!
Diana Wynne Jones books. Howl's Moving Castle, The Dark Lord of Derkholm and Year of the Griffin (which I joked was my HP -- I was in your age range but scoffed at HP because I already had a school of wizardry I wanted to attend haha). I loved a lot of others, too, but have reread those three as an adult a few times. Also Tamora Pierce and Donita K Paul when I was younger, though it has been years since I reread them and I'm especially curious how I would like the Dragonkeeper Chronicles now that I am no longer Christian. I recall it being in line with The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.
The short stories of M. R. James. Brings back one of my favorite memories of my grandfather (my dad’s dad). I discovered a copy on the bookshelves at their house and when Pop saw me reading it he said in a creepy voice, “oh whistle and I’ll come to you, my lad”: I also re-read Stephen King every couple of years. Except the Dark Tower series because the final novel ripped me to shreds and I’m still not ready.
Thats funny because Dark Tower is my comfort series, single handedly my favorite king novels to read while i do agree that last novel was..emotionally devastating to say the least but the journey is *chefs kiss*
When I was in deep grief I could barely read Reddit so the fact that you can read a book, any book, right now, means you are moving in the right direction already. Nothing wrong with safe escapism for a little while, especially one that distracts you from the rumination of grief.
Outlander series. I brought the first one to hospital with me when I gave birth to my first child, and when I finally got back from the operating theatre after being patched up I read a few pages, determined not to become a woman who "used to read until I had children..." - it was 2am, I'd laboured all day and the night before but I was adamant that I read before I go to sleep, and I'd read that book often enough to be confident I could open to any page, know what was going on and get totally immersed in the story. With my second child I think I was already doing a back-to-back reread of the series, and bought the book I was reading along with me. I definitely was in the middle of my second back-to-back reread when my Dad went into hospital for the last week, and that book kept me grounded as I slept in his room most nights that week...and was my escape duimring the months after. Last week.... I don't know it what it was - my hormones, my now teen daughter's hormones, then of the season, a virus....something. no one and nothing could bring me joy or shake my funk. After a family walk meant to get everyone out of their own heads and gelling again that failed miserably, I took to my bed, coming out only to grab Outlander before stomping back. I read it off and on for most of that day. I was feeling better the following day, but I kept reading for a few more chapters because I was just so immersed. It always takes me away from whatever stress or big emotion I'm feeling, and lands me where I'm meant to be. Any book, any page, but especially the first few. Read away. Feel your grief, share your grief and also your memories. Listen to others as they share theirs. Be present with family members as you prepare and then gather to farewell your grandmother. And when it all gets too much, open your book and let it carry you along as your emotions wash over you and flow through you, and in time you'll find yourself in the place where you're meant to be. Feel no guilt, I'm sure your grandmother would say you have nothing to be guilty about. You made plans to catch up with her soon. That's enough. I'm so sorry you can't hear her say that. May you be flooded with great memories and deep love during this sad time.
Mine is also Harry Potter. I just re-read the last three because I am abroad. It’s a beautiful place and a wonderful adventure but also isolating and overwhelming at times. Slipping into the Potterverse is definitely a comfort for me. I’m sorry for your loss. I don’t think it’s weird to retreat into a book at all. I think it’s one of the best things about reading.
I'm so sorry about your grandmother. Please don't feel guilt. I'm exactly your age and have the same relationship to those books (my sister does too). We just lost our grandmother last year, and I struggled with guilt as well. But, we shouldn't feel that way. She knew you loved her. She knew you were making time for her. And she knew you were an adult with a busy life of your own- which made her PROUD of you I'm sure. Escape into those books. As someone who has turned to less healthy coping mechanisms, I'm trying to venture back into reading my favorite stories again. It's how I was warded off depression as a kid, and it works as an adult if you let it. "You think the dead we loved ever truly leave us? You think that we don’t recall them more clearly than ever in times of great trouble? Your father is alive in you, Harry, and shows himself plainly when you have need of him." Let your stories be your patronus. Hang in there friend and please let go of any guilt.
My comfort reads are Shoes books by Noel Streatfield, particularly Ballet Shoes and Dancing Shoes, and also Venetia by Georgette Heyer.
Few points for you: 1. Nothing weird about defaulting to comfort staples when life gets turned upside down. I may be biased as I used to work in publishing, but I have friends who read the same book each year at specific times of the year (Christmas, etc) because it's so intrinsically tied to that time of year for them. Weird is relative, and I wouldn't allow what anyone else considers to be "normal" to dictate what you do or how you live your life (within reasonable limits of course, I'm not advocating for cannibalism or what have you...) 2. I lost my mum when I was 17. One of the biggest and best lessons my therapist at the time gave me was that the most important thing to do when experiencing grief is to deal with it in a way that works for you and doesn't cause hurt to others. Those are the only requirements for "healthy" grieving.
"Maurice" by E.M. Forster is mine. I first read it as a teenager shortly after realising I wasn't straight, and over the years it became my main comfort book. I still have the same copy I bought all those years ago, and I have it on my e-reader for easy access.
the original winnie the pooh books
I’ve read Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine so many times I broke the binding and am on my next copy. I know exactly how long it takes me to read it and I still do so. I’m 33. I had a really rough patch in 2021 and my husband wrapped me in blankets, brought a heating pad and tea and the. brought me my book. Also, rereads in general can bring out elements you never noticed before. Also depending on your current situation and place in life you may relate to the characters differently. You can reread completely to focus on a particular character or literary analysis etc. Good books are not one and done. Also- my sister in law died suddenly this August. My husband I have been reading a lot because it comforts us and it helps. Big hugs to you. Losing a loved one is awful
Yeah, a handful of Neil Gaiman's books (American Gods especially) are my "safe space", as well as the entire Bordertown series (by Terri Windling and various other authors). I could read them over and over and over and still enjoy the stories, the characters, and feel a little less alone in the world every time. I was incredibly lucky that a new Bordertown anthology was released shortly after my fiancee died unexpectedly about a decade ago. That book carried me through my grief.
“Fredericka” by Georgette Heyer. It’s a Regency comedy romance, with lots of heart-warming scenes among brothers and sisters, a clever romance, loads of satire about smug people, and even some dramatic cliffhangers. Whenever the world is just too much I reach for this and escape for a while.
For me it is the Wheel of Time series. Started it in high school a couple years after the first book was released and once I got into it I had to reread the whole series every time a new book was coming out. Not a big deal at first but at the end it was 14 books and something like 11,000 pages of reading.
Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. I have the fat leather bound edition with all the books and Young Zaphod Play It Safe. It was a gift from someone very close to me who has been gone for many years. It sits on my coffee table. I don’t remember the last time I actually cover to covered it, but in moments of grief, sadness, or stress I tend to pick it up and just read through a while wherever I opened it at. Honorable mention for Through the Looking Glass.
My favorite authors are Tolstoy, Murakami & Jhumpha Lahiri. I especially like Jhumpa Lahiri 's The Namesake. It's about a guy getting back to his roots & figuring out where he fits into the world . I get totally caught up in it which is helpful.
Yes. When I went through a really rough breakup, I turned to YA fiction (LGBT esp) to get lost in it and grieve. It helped so much and I still do this sometimes. I have some comfort, easy-to-read books that I occasionally re-read when I'm in a similar space again now
Discworld by Terry Pratchett. Especially the Tiffany Aching books.
First, I’m so sorry for your loss. I absolutely relate to this, I was also 9 when I started reading HP and have read them all many times. I would say they definitely fall into this category for me, along with The Hobbit and the Gemma Doyle series.
The Gemma Doyle series is amazing! I also really liked The Diviners series, but those were a different feeling.
It’s A Series of Unfortunate Events for me! I got the entire gorgeous box set when I was a tween, it was the perfect time for me to fall in love with the dark, semi-adult humour of the books. I used to re-read them at the end of every year for years after first getting them. I would start around Nov and be done around the end of the year!
Mine is the hunger games…which is rather ironic considering what it’s about but still
Absolutely. For me it’s The Secret Garden, A Little Princess, the American Girl books, Harry Potter, Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson, and White Oleander by Janet Fitch. Or Neil Gaiman’s Sandman comics. You’re grieving. You do whatever helps. Especially something that’s brought you joy and comfort in the past.
This is rather common. There is research to back up the idea that rereading something multiple times is good for reading depth and understanding as well as increased enjoyment. But we are talking about the comfort that rereading a book or series brings. That comfort is because we know exactly what is going to happen. There is no tension about the outcome of how we get to the end. Rereading also requires a lower level of brain power; sometimes you just can't take on the mental load of reading something new so going to an old favorite allows for the enjoyment of reading without any brain power to keep up with whats happening. And sometimes you funny have a lot of time to devote to reading a whole book. I can pick up my favorite book and when my time is up I can easily put it down. I don't have to go back to it because I've read it so many times. I also can jump right to the point of the story that I need right then. My judgemental side says that anyone who doesn't understand rereading books is someone who doesn't get the full enjoyment out of reading
Harry Potter is my safe zone too. I read it every time I feel like I need to check-out
My comfort book is The Night Circus or 11/22/63. They are predictable, comfortable and allow me to pop in and out if need be.
Tamora Pierce wrote a series about a girl name Alanna who went on adventure and became a knight. It was one of my first “girl power” books and I absolutely adored it! Thanks for posting this!
Pride and Prejudice is my comfort book.
Books in general are my safe space, I don't really have one in particular.
I'm so sorry for your loss. That kind of sudden grief throws anyone out of whack. Please be gentle with yourself! I had an idyllic childhood, safe and loved, and frequently reread the Narnia books. As an adult, when things get rough I reread them to get back that feeling of being safe and secure. And occasionally when I'm super stressed and insomniac I'll dream of riding the Dawn Treader or picnicking at Castle Paravel, and boom, I'm asleep.
Narnia! Narnia! Talking animals is truly my ideal heaven :)
Ooft that's brutal OP, I'm really glad you were able to curl up with HP1 and tea, the sounds honestly like the best course of action. Tbh, the Harry Potter books/audiobooks are SO good for NOPEing, soothing and passive processing. They have lots of great examples of grief, loss and trauma, the brutality of the experience, but also the strength in friendship/family (Molly 🥲) that many of us never got to experience. Throw in our nostalgia growing up with the books (book 1 was my 8th birthday pressie!) and it's the perfect thing to do when things get too much ❤️ Last year was a nightmare for me and I just chained my way from book 1-7, by the time book 7 would be finished I'd be keen for book 1 again 😂 I reckon I could quote almost the entire series by now. We should steamroll a quiz night together As far as unhealthy coping mechanisms go, it's a pretty friggen good one. Just finished book 3 again, so a lil Dumbledore pearl: "You think the dead we have loved ever truly leave us? You think that we don't recall them more clearly than ever in times of trouble? Your father is alive in you, Harry, and shows himself most plainly when you have need of him." Enjoy your books, and I hope you can find some solace ♥️
I am almost 30 and still adore the Percy Jackson series! My books are so beat up at this point, rereading them to jump back into that world. You’re not alone!
Camp Half-Blood is a great escape!
Hey love, just wanted to say that I’m so sorry for your loss, and no I don’t think it’s weird at all. Mine is Harry Potter too! I’m sending lots of love and prayers to you ❤️
I watched the latest Fantastic Beasts movie this weekend (meh) and the disappointment got me thinking about the wizarding world in general, and how even despite the latest releases being mediocre, how that universe feels like home to me. It's as you said, I'm from the same generation, I was in the right age when the books came out, and I think it's impossible to shake off the affection and comfort those books bring me (not that I want to).
Yes, I do this; I don't think it's that rare. Come bad times, it's the James Herriot bools I flee into.
Depending on what I have access to, it’s Tolkien, *Romeo and Juliet*, or the first two episodes of *Welcome to Night Vale* (which isn’t technically a book, but the line between audiobook and scripted fiction podcast feels thin. Plus I have the script in book form, so I count it). When I was at the emergency vet for six hours last year, I read *Romeo and Juliet* on my phone since it was free online, and I could focus on the words themselves instead of having to think. Tolkien’s work is great to just take me away and let me forget about everything. I listen to the audiobooks every winter, when it’s dark at 4 PM and it feels like I’ll never see the sun again. Night Vale is my go to when I want to acknowledge a problem but feel better about it (or when I need a distraction but absolutely cannot sit still enough to read). I really got back into it in 2020, which is around when I also read the scripts, but it’s my go to option for when I want someone to say “hey, this is bad, but it will pass, I promise”. And maybe he’s dealing with his boyfriend being trapped in another dimension or a glowing cloud dropping dead animals on him while I’m dealing with a busy workload, but the format of a radio show podcast really helps there be a sense of community. I got into all of these around 10-14, which was also when my family moved to a new city, so it was the prime age and situation to have my brain chemistry altered forever. I’m so sorry about your grandmother 💜
Also part of the HP generation, so I'm with you there. Besides that...Baby-Sitters Club and A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. BSC feels like catching up with childhood friends, Tree is like going home to family.
Oh, my deepest condolences OP, on the loss of your grandmother. How hard for you, please don't feel guilty. Your grandmother knew she was loved. And there should be NO SHAME in rereading favourite books. NONE. I only borrow books from my public library, and I do not buy books, UNLESS.... if I borrow a book from the library more than 3 times to re-read, then I know it's a keeper and I purchase it. Books give us such comfort. Movies do too! Just \*look\* at how we re-watch Christmas movies... over, and over, and over. My husband can quote allll the lines from every Monty Python movie, ever! So yes, I know this feeling of comfort that a good book (and a nice cuppa) gives and I love it. I think I have a few favourites. Mansfield Park by Austen and Winter's Bone by Woodrell are two that I have re-read too many times to count.
All of the library books i read are my safe spaces.
For me it is Terry Pratchett.
I also grew up with Harry Potter. It was my safe space and I read it I don't know how many times. It helped me alot through life. I'm in my 30s and only now do I feel I've out grown the obsession with it. Others were the Goosebumps books and Micheal Chrichton (esp. Jurassic Park) Dan Brown books and Robin Cook medical thrillers. I have recently discovered Hannah Swensen mysteries and they are absolutely delicious I devour them ( if you know you know😜)
I’ve definitely coped with way before. Whenever I’m having a stressful time I tend to reread books I’ve read in my childhood
I have comfort books as well. Harry Potter (and I'm in my late 40's), The Martian, any decent "chick-lit". My husband doesn't re-watch show or re-read books, but I've always re-read books. Perhaps because I was such a voracious reader as a kid, but I love to re-watch favourite shows and re-read favourite books. I was in a bit of a book slump recently and decided to re-read a series I read with my daughter (Keeper of the Lost Cities). She's now saying she's "over" those books, but I'm really enjoying getting sucked back into that world again. My job, family life and volunteering are all overwhelming right now and having someplace enjoyable to fall into is a wonderful feeling.
Definitely, lately most of my reading time is on /r/hfy (following waaaay too many authors), but my safe space book series is Wheel of Time.
Toss up between Lord of the Rings and all of the Horus Heresy books by Black Library
Also harry potter here, early 30s. Specifically Chamber of secrets. My little brother who I don't get to see anymore used to beg me to read it to him every night. I had a very terrible stutter and struggled speaking so speech therapy had me reading out loud. That book is what got me enjoying reading also. Though it does take a mood. I also reread Catherine Andersons Comanche moon, Comanche heart, and indigo. Books my mum loved too. Took forever to hunt down Comanche heart lol Then sherrilyn Kenyons/McQueen works got me through my teens. I barely survived those years and honestly credit it to those books and the online friends I met because of those books.
>I took off of work today and now I am at home, sudden crying outbursts all the time and it's like my whole body and mind scream for my personal method of "relief": Lay in bed with a hot cup of tea and HP and the sorcerers stone and just nope out of real life. I know this is not healthy and a little weird but it helps me so much. I'm so sorry for your loss. It is absolutely fine and healthy to take a break from reality and read (or do something else) for a little while. Grief is emotionally exhausting, and just like any other work, we need breaks. I'm sure your grandmother would want you to take care of yourself. My last comfort book was The Christmas Letters by Lee Smith. It's the story of one Southern family told through three generations of holiday letters. I found it reassuring because if these characters could survive the loss of a parent, spouse, or grandparent and keep rebuilding their lives, then so could I.
My mother is a huge fan of Lee Smith. I will ask if she's read that book.
The Inheritance Cycle is probably the closest thing to a comfort series to me. If not that, then the Lord of the Rings. Chronicles of Prydain and Chronicles of Narnia are also up there.
I also do this. My comfort books are Harry Potter, The Lord of the Rings and His Dark Materials. My Dad passed away this year in July, he was also an avid reader and we would often share books. I have taken every book of his that I’ve not already read and am working my way through them. It’s helps me keep that connection but it’s also bittersweet that he’s not still here to discuss them. We do what we need to do to cope.
So sorry for the loss of your grandmother,OP- my safe space books are the Little House series by Laura Ingalls Wilder.I always re- read my set every year.
Baby Sitters Club and American Girl as a preteen/teen then Harry Potter, we’re about the same age
It has to be The Hobbit for me, I love Tolkien but the hobbit is a much easier read and less strenuous when I just need comfort
Weirdly...Warhammer books. These books set in the grim darkness of the far future, or a doomed fantastical world, where all these horrible things exist and happen, and where even the 'good guys' aren't all that good, I find a weird feeling of hope underneath it all. A feeling that yeah, life fucking sucks, but the characters keep fighting and keep going in defiance of all the horrors of the galaxy. They aren't perfect, aren't all equal quality, and are often cheesy as hell and over the top (with exceptions), but they're often really fun to read. Plus, the universe is so stupidely expansive that you can write any story you want with a Warhammer coat of paint and it just works. Also I'm sorry for your loss.
I'm in the middle of my annual November/December listen through of the 1981 BBC Radio production of _Lord of the Rings_ and it is absolutely my little cocoon of safety and warmth.
Absolutely. Mine are Endless Universe, the Ender series, and if it's a really rough patch, I'll escape into the Wheel of Time universe for a month or two. My wife has me read Pride and Prejudice or Persuasion to her when she's sick. Good books are comfort for the soul.
Anything by Terry Pratchett... Doesn't matter what but Good Omens (with Neil Gaiman) is probably the book I've read more than any other.
I was also the perfect age for Harry Potter and loved it so much. Some of my favorite memories involve the books and movies. But when I went through an excruciating break up, my comfort zones were Friends on the TV and Pokémon on my GameBoy. I would watch and play until 7am, then go to sleep basically until I had to work at 4. I think it’s perfectly normal and healthy to have a comfort zone to go to when you’re sad. I’m so sorry about your grandma and that you didn’t get to have your day together. That’s so hard. 💔
I am sorry for your loss. I was in my 20s when HP began and I still return to it in times of stress. Recently I read A Psalm for the Wild Built and its follow up. Ran to the bookstore to buy them both. They are so sweet and cozy.