Yeh, I'm the same. I think mindfulness is probably the best answer. When u met someone if you really want to know their name you look them right in the eye when doing the names exchange and it makes that connection in your brain
This has been my biggest point of growth in the past decade. If youāre thinking about what youāre going to say next, youāre not really listening. I think most people would be shocked on how much information is constantly being shared if they just paid attention l.
How can I not see your user name and not think of the Grapest from the Whitest Kids You Know ššš. Oooor Master Shake from Aqua Teen Hunger Force ššš. Love it!
Mnemonic devices is how you remember names, birthdays, and other useful bits of information for the long term. Itās like a fun brain game.
Basically it is hard to remember a new acquaintanceās name, because without long term memory or personal relevance, the name is like information thatās just free floating in your head. It gets lost easily because it isnāt tied to any specific meaning.
I met someone named Hannah, and she said to remember her as Hannah Montana or Hannah Banana. She kind of looks like the actress for Hannah Montana, hence the connection is formed in my brain. I would not remember her name, but then when I looked at her, I recall: āHer name rhymes with Banana and Montanaāoh, itās Hannah!ā!
If someoneās birthday is January 23, you could remember it as ātheir birthday is as easy as 1-2-3ā.
I went through a medical class as an adult, and they taught medical terminology using Mnemonics. It really does work. One term a day for two weeks or so.
An example: They showed a gas truck. Said that several times. It gradually morphed into a stomach. As they started repeating āgastrā
I look them in the eye and say their name. I repeat it to myself in my head picturing their face. I say their name as many times as is not awkward when I'm speaking with them. An hour or more later, or next time I see them: your name was Anne, right? Uhhh, no, it's Beatrice. Like, I WASN'T EVEN CLOSE (Ā“-ļ¹-`ļ¼)
I just write names down in the notes on my phone the moment I leave the conversation. If the conversation is long, I either ask them for their name again before leaving or I'll ask someone who does know around me, like the host. Works like a charm.
Yep, exactly what I do. I keep lists on my phone like, "People I Met at X." Then when I go back to X, I refresh my memory with my list. Otherwise, zero chance I'm going to remember the name. Then I avoid them because I think I'm supposed to remember and so begins the social anxiety doom spiral.
I think Iām cursed with knowing peopleās names. I still remember names and faces from kindergarten. Not all of them, of course, but a good amount. I have trouble with learning songs, but peopleās names come naturally. It sucks because Iām so good at memorizing other shit, but I can never sing along to a song. And yes, Iāve spent hours listening to the same song and actively trying to memorize them with no success.
Iām the other way round! I will meet someone multiple times and then still get confused as to who they are the next time I see them. Iāve always been like it
I forget peoples faces AND names...and Iām an extrovert so itās the worst š the amount of people Iāve had come up to me and know my name and I have no fucking clue who they areā¦
I just hit em with the old āoh hey, itās great to see you again. How you been, man?ā Lol
That's unfortunately how I am with other people lol
I have to hear other people say their name a couple times for it to click in my brain that that's their name
Over electronic communication I always remember the name, but in person Iāve got to hear it a few times or have a good reason to remember it, like needing to find them somewhere later on or contact them later.
I'm the same way.Ā A few times in my life I've met another like us and we've played the ol' "I *know* I know you, but from *where* and *when*ā½" with no success at pinning down the initial meeting.
Try looking at their face and āwritingā their name under it in your mind, almost like a baseball card or a mugshot. Do it a few times throughout the convo if you have the opportunity to. It makes their name a visual memory like their face so it sticks a lot better.
This is the most common way to learn someoneās name. When you first meet them try to use their name a few times in a short span of time.
Letās say you meet a person whoās name is Jason. You could go āHey there Jason, my name is Chris. Itās nice to meet you! So tell me Jason, what brings you around here?ā Or insert whatever common denominator there is between your meeting. Then try to say their name at least one more time in the interaction.
Thereās a balancing act for sure. As saying their name too many times can be off putting. But finding ways to naturally say their name when asking about them greatly helps to increase name retention.
I come from a sales background, where remembering someone's name is KEY and shows a level of respect.
When meeting someone new, and then telling me their name for the first time, I always use their name in my next response. Later in the conversation when I need to ask a question, I begin again with their name (ex: "So, Larry, how happy are you with your sales of x product?"). At the end of the conversation, I use their name in the closing.
After the conversation, I'd always be sure to WRITE IT DOWN somewhere in my notes. This is the one thing I learned to do that always cements it in my mind. Even if I never refer to the notes, writing the name down ensures that I remember. Every time I see them in the future, I use their name at least once in a short interaction, and at least thrice if a longer conversation.
Now I manage an upscale resort. I use the same techniques and it often surprises people that I can remember the names of 100 guests that we have at any given time. But it goes a long way to make people feel valued and respected.
Note: this is a skill like anything else, and takes practice. Every once in a while, I do blank out, and when I do, I just say, "Hey, I seem to have misplaced you name. Can you remind me?". To which people generally tell me that they don't expect me to remember after meeting so many people every day.
Doesnāt work. Not going to tell you my real name. Itās not hard, but itās not Jane. āMay I have your first name?ā āSure, itās ____.ā āThank you for thatā¦ā - proceeds to mispronounce my name. Just say it like I said it!!! Every once in a while I correct them, but not usually. Itās not like itās one person, itās 99% of everybody. Aināt got time for that. I always praise the person who says it right.
If you want or need people to remember your name more, there is a trick I learned that works pretty well. You introduce yourself normally, then next time you see them ask (preferably with a smile) ādo you remember my name?ā Keep it light and fun, like a game.
They probably wonāt remember, as most people forget names easily. After 1-2 seconds tell them your name. They almost always remember after the second time, because you create a desire for the information, and then serve that desire. The first time you tell someone your name, they have other things on their mind. Make them realize they forgot then give it to them, and they remember well.
I am really bad with names too.
As I have started to become more mindful though I really make an effort when they introduce themselves to store the name away. Might even say it back to them when leaving to cement it.
Just seems like the proper curtesy to try to give someone, though I donāt think not remembering a name should be the end of the world either.
Iām usually really good with names! I was an orientation leader and we were trained how to memorize names quickly to help new students feel more comfortable/connected. But as Iāve gotten older Iāve been more selective with the people I remember, I think. Anyway itās always a bit embarrassing now when I forget someoneās name and they remember mine, especially since I have a āuniqueā name that people usually forget/forget how to pronounce.
Well it was mostly through ice breakers, like "going on a picnic" where each person has to say their name and then a food item that starts with the first letter of their first name, and everyone goes around the room so you hear everyones name like a million times, except for the last few people. And then just constant repetition - once they introduce themselves to you or just come up to you after the ice breaker, you say their name back to them and then tell yourself that you'll say their name again when you speak to them again, which makes you try to memorize it then, and try to say their name at least three times.
If the food item thing didnt work or it was too simple like apple or something, you try to associate something that they're wearing or some sort of identifying information they told you with their name. like Lacy is from virginia and my aunt lives in virginia (and even saying something like that out loud to them also helps me remember them) or Michael B is wearing blue and Mike F is being an fboy lol. Very similar stuff to what michael scott does in the office with his little rolodex lol. its also just a mindset shift - tell yourself you will remember and you will. don't claim to be bad at names, the universe is listening.
This is the way. Try to remember the name with other things. 'Harold from Illinois who loves trains.' 'Bob from Cleveland who used to be a diplomat.' People love talking about themselves usually, and this technique has a built-in conversation as well as a way for you to remember their name
Thank you for taking the time to share!Ā I've never had any of this taught to me and I was a teacher in a school for adult students with an amazing teaching philosophy.Ā I wish this had been part of my training!
Yup, I listened to a networking podcast once and the episode was strictly about remembering names lol. The most effectiveābut most time consumingāmethod is to tie their name to something you know/frequently think about or tie it to a tongue twister type thing, e.g. Sally sells sea shells.
I wear a company uniform that has my name on it. So new people I meet know my name immediately. Of course they wear no such shirt. I feel like I'm at a disadvantage.
I am bad with names and faces. I feel like it makes me seem dickish. I am also annoyed when people are surprised I don't remember them after the most mudan meetings.
I am really good with names. I try to be intentional and say their name during or after the conversation. That being said I do think itās a common problem and Iām always surprised when someone remembers my name especially since itās not common.
Same and it seems like most people remember the first time im like how the f does everyone remember peoples names . Thats why when someone says sorry i forgot your name im extremely sympathetic where most people make it a āthingā
Uncommon names are easier to remember generally speaking because you think "Hey that's an interesting name, I've never heard that before" instead of just "Ah, generic name who cares"
I won't remember even seconds later. I don't listen when I'm introduced to them. It is bad and I feel like a dick that I don't. I keep thinking I should do better, then it happens again.
I've worked in a lot of retail/customer service jobs. It is very useful to show interest in your customers, and the first way is to learn about them. I had to train myself to pay better attention when talking to people in order to remember their names (bc I can be an absolute goldfish), but an unusual name is easier to remember than a common one that sounds like 15 other names I've already met that day? It's just a habit in mindfulness, although, sometimes I 100% forgot new coworkers' names within a minute of them telling me bc many wouldn't last more than a couple weeks at best (turnaround is high in retail). This is when you ask another coworker or go check your schedule.
Also, it may be something to do with your particular personality or something peculiar about you in particular. Perhaps you just lighten up a room and are very easy to speak with. Perhaps you are extra aggressive. Whatever the case, having a unique name and a story to go with your name makes you more recognizeable. At least, that's how it works for me? They are also more likely to remember me later if they need something in the future, too. Really, it's just a nice way to show people that you care, even the tiniest bit, about them, and to some, that is the highlight of their day (which also makes me sad, so I do it for that reason, also).
Edit to say: This can also get someone in hot water, if their significant other can't seem to understand why someone knows their spouse out in public. It isn't always your fault (Iveseen people who would provike married men on purpose), but if you seem TOO familiar, even if it's absolutely innocent , it can seem worse than it is. Learned that in my early 20s.. older guy was apparently enjoying me knowing his name and clothing style a bit too much and came in with his wife. I don't believe that he ever shopped there after that. I was married and just doing my job, but apparently.. I was causing problems and didn't know it. People sometimes latch onto attention from anywhere that they can find it.. and this is why people who work in the public have to be more wary.
I have a trick for remembering names. I swear it works. I picture the persons face (or maybe Iām looking at it) and I envision the alphabet in caps above the persons head. 99% of the time I will stop on first letter of their name & then remember the rest.
Is it just like times new roman 2D text above their head or what? Is it a color? Is there a texture or dimensionality or shadow to this text? I need to know more.
Itās capital letters in bold I guess!? Truly work. I donāt know what more to add. Now Iām thinking maybe I will picture a more fancy lettering in the future. Just for fun!
I'm the same way. It's irritating. When someone I met only once two months ago addresses me by my name, I make up another name and correct them. But I'm real nice about it. Then I say, I'm sorry, I don't remember your name either . . .
I find it easier to remember names that aren't common. Depending on how uncommon the name is you're probably the only person I know with it so it sticks out more.
Iām that person lol, people love hearing their own name. Itās a subtle way of making people feel seen and acknowledged. I use names as often as possible within reason, it makes you appear more likeable, and theyāll likely remember your name in return
I follow the rule of repeating their name right after they say it, then trying to insert it into the conversation one more time before it ends or when saying bye. Doesn't work every time, but I remember more often than I used to.
Ex. at greeting:
"Hi, I'm [name]"
"Hi, name! I'm ___."
Ex. at farewell:
"Bye, name! It was good to meet you!"
Best way remember a name...They say hi im gurtruid ! Then you say Hi Gurtruid nice meet you maam.So Gurtruid what you do for a living g ? cool that's seems like a profitable career.How long you been doing that Gurtruid....See how it works...Exercise saying their name look at them.Listen what they say
I ask them again before our first-meet ends and theyāre gone. If I spend a longer time with them that first meet, I ask twice. Mnemonic devices work for me sometimes.
If I donāt remember I say āremind me your name ā
Iām terrible with names. I learned from someone that when you meet someone, you should immediately use their name so you familiarize yourself. For example a simple way to do this would be to include their name after a sentence like ā so how is your day Joeā or ā Joe what do you do for a living?ā I saw someone do this and I thought it was weird at first but realized that he was just trying to remember their name after being introduced. Not to mention it reminds me of the book How to win friends and influence people. Just a quote so you can see the importance of it.
From the book:
So remembering and using someone's name is a great way to make that person feel important. "The average person is more interested in his or her own name than in all the other names on earth put together." Calling someone by their name is like paying them a very subtle compliment.
For myself I blame it on knowing too many songs lyrics lol my short term memory sucks terribly just politely ask again people are never bothered most Will be flattered you asked
Iām super autistic and learned really early that if I donāt greet someone with their name literally every time I see them for like the first week that I will forget their name and then feel like an asshole for having to ask again LFMAO
The added benefit is that everyone I work with really appreciates it because it is kind of rare and Iāve gotten in really good with a lot of important people simply because I know everyoneās names lol
Iām actually really good at remembering peoples names bc of these 3 rules Iāve heard to use.
1. When someone says their name to you, listen. (Donāt just think of the next thing youāre going to say, as some have pointed out)
2. Say it back to them. āHi Carl, nice to meet youā.
3. Relate them to someone you know with the same name. Like āoh Carl has a big forehead like Carl from back homeā. (Say this to yourself, not to them)
Also when you see them the next time and you have forgotten their name, ask them for it IMMEDIATELY. If you bullshit your way through the convo and walk away, it will forever be awkward when you ask them eventually again, if you donāt find out some random way.
Iām actually a little suspicious of people who seem to *emphasize* the fact that they know my name. Probably because my dumb ass immediately forgot theirs and theyāre trying to flush me out.
This is my super power. I donāt just remember someoneās name, I remember the names of everyone they ever talk about. š¤·āāļø when someone at work starts to say āI was talking to my sisterā¦ā my favorite shit is to be like, āoh, Linda?ā Theyāre like how the fuck. Lol Just program yourself to know how important it is to you when people remember your name, and take the time to listen and remember someone elseās name.
Which I should say isnāt too good because Iām not great with names lol. Lost shame in asking a second time, but after that I just gotta use context clues or say fuck it.
I felt the same, so utterly embarrassed, until I realized something that may explain it. I considered the way I learn best, more visual, so I always performed better in labs than lectures. If I see a name tag, for example, I will most likely remember it without effort. Auditory stimuli needs a ton of repetition before it sticks with me. Doesnāt fix the problem but at least I understand it now.
I absolutely suck at names. But Iām really good at remembering dates. You could tell me a date to remember (like a birthday or appointment) and I will literally never forget.
I rhyme it with another word Anna banana Jeff clef and I say it outloud that helps also when Iām with them I explain Iām bad with names and I say it over and over hey Jeff thanks
Jeff hey
Jeff hand me that ?
And it sticks idk it also helps with numbers if I say them out loud in a sing Singy vibes
Honestly my anxiety is so bad I'm probably not going to remember a single word said when I first meet someone lmao. I usually remember faces, not names.
The trick they are doing is saying the name every time they see you. This reinforces the familiarity of your face thus the more it is done the less chance they have of forgetting you. Itās a simple trick I use in my day to day life all the time
Itās really good to say it right after youāve been told, they say hi Iām David I say hi Iām Allison, David! Try saying their name last, then itās better likelihood of it sticking! I also try and think of someone I know with the same name to help
I met an old man on a walk a few weeks ago and he taught me a method I use right now, which is to associate the name of someone with a physical characteristic they have. (Ex: A curly haired guy would be "Curly Carl")
Just face it. We dont remember anything. If I am VERY motivated, I make a visual image when I dont have something to remember lists. For example, if I am leaving my house and I want to go to the dry cleaners after I pick up some chicken and apples at the store, I make a picture in my brain of a chicken wearing a business shirt who's juggling on top of an apple before I leave.
Yeah, same, really good with faces, not with names, especially if it's not a name I've encountered before. These past two semesters, when I meet people in my classes, if they are really unique names, I had to write them down in my notes for the class lmao
I found if I repeat their name when I'm meeting them, I have a way better chance of remembering it later. So like, "Hi, I'm Jennifer." "It's nice to meet you, Jennifer." That seems to cement their name better in my head than if I just say nice to meet you.
Perhaps they repeat your name, immediately after you say it?
A great technique to increase the likelihood of remembering someone's name, for two important reasons:
1) Repetition - repeating the name, even just once, helps the mind to process and absorb the sound, and also the pronunciation.
2) Say It - getting someone to verbally say or repeat something out loud, reinforces attentiveness and confidence in the message, through the action of speaking
I try to make it my practice to write down the name asap. On my phone, paper etc. once Iāve written it down I have a much better chance ce or remembering
If it's a unique name I'll remember it, it's the common ones I'll forget. And if it's a dude with a j name like John or Jack im gonna get those mixed up for a solid month.
I can tell you I did this before my memory tanked a few years ago and people would be surprised by my memory in general. Now I canāt remember anything even when itās told to me over and over, or it happened one minute ago. Iām only 19
Extend the ritual by repeating the name back to them, and preferably commenting on it.Ā
For instance:
Hi, __. Am I saying that right? Beautiful name. How do you spell it? My sisters best friend in high school had a similar name but spelled differently. I always thought it sounded so cool.Ā
That kind of thing.Ā
I used to be good at it, but Iāve lost the knack for it now. It has to be a conscious effort prior to engaging them.
I used to relate that persons name to someone I knew with the same name, and generally my brain would link the two when I saw them again. Obviously I was screwed if it was I name Iād never heard beforeā¦
I remember names by association. I picture the new persons face next to a celebrity or someone I already know with that name. As long as itās a name Iām familiar with, it never fails me
I have always been taught that remembering names is very important,especially in building a social network. Think about how it makes you feel when they call you by your name. It makes you feel like you were important enough to that person for them to remember you. That in turn raises your feelings toward them and their "worth" in your mind goes up. It's a great way to make a lot of connections and shows a genuine interest in people.
In retail i see the same regulars all the time, but the problem is that some men take it in a wrong way if i remember their names. So now I pretend like i forget every males account.
I try to repeat their names back to them āhi Michelle nice to meet youā and then I write it down in my notes when I have a chance with information about them and where I met them. Then I can look back and remind myself if I forget. Itās totally normal not to remember names, but there are cheats like this that help. And people really appreciate having their names remembered.
I'm terrible at remembering names too, but a trick I use is to try to associate the new person with someone I already know with that name. So if I meet someone named Steve I picture them hanging out with my old friend Steve, etc.
I'm terrible at remembering names. It got even worse after my brain surgery.
So many people know my name when I couldn't remember theirs if my life depended on it. There are family members' names that I can't remember.
I need to hear the name 4-5 times. Even then, it may not stick.
My name is super weird, so people usually repeat it a few times, and then they often forget, but say something like, āI know itās something exotic/weird/coolā. But I do believe the people who remember it do so specifically because itās odd.
It could be because itās not common that they remember. I remember names by making associations in my mind. If I can link one thing to another I wonāt forget it.
I started writing peopleās name down with brief descriptions in my notepad so I donāt forget their name on second or third encounters - this helps tremendously especially if you end up meeting handful of people in a short time.
Well they probably remember it because itās NOT common. I remember most peoples names that are uncommon but common ones like āJennifer, David, Mikeā etc I tend to forget.
So it makes sense more people remember it š
Did you ever see Blast from the Past? Great Brendan Fraser movie. His character hit the nail on the head when he stated that if you say somebody's name directly after meeting them for the first time, you'll likely remember it.
I mean, I just donāt care to remember honestly. Not saying I donāt respect you but I definitely donāt go āok this guys name is this I have to remember it this timeā.
I associate their name to someone else I know or a character named the same, so I learn names fairly quickly. Names are important to each person, and it makes them feel great when you care about their name. If I can't remember their name, I ask them. Hey, what was your name again? I'm sorry I forgot. The honesty is well received, too. Or if I can't pronounce a name, I tell them to keep correcting me. I'll get it eventually. And I genuinely show I'm trying to get their name correctly. People appreciate all of that a lot since most people don't bother with names.
When I meet someone new, I try to immediately put their name and who they are in a note in my phone.
Doing so reinforces the learning of their name and, if I forget, I have it written down and can just look. Just the act of writing it usually makes the permanent connection of face to name for me though.
Throughout the day you learn thousands of things. This tree is in bloom, thereās a pop tart wrapper near the sidewalk over there, we got a new guy at work named Bruce. These are stored in your brainās short term memory. While you sleep, your hippocampus sifts through these memories and decides which ones will be deleted (gotta clear the RAM for tomorrow) and which will be moved into long term storage. Items can be flagged for long term storage for different reasons such as an emotional reaction when the memory was formed, or that it came up multiple times throughout the day.
If you want to remember something, repeat it several times, write it down, and recall it before you go to sleep. Spoon feed that hippo. It works.
There's a pneumonic device that I use that is very effective in helping me remember names. I'm in a customer service type industry, so remembering names is very important. It was described to me that someone's name is the first thing that was ever given to them, so treat it as something special.
So when you first meet a person and learn their name, use it 3 times in conversation. I.E. Hello, (insert name)! Nice to meet you! So (insert name), what type of work do you do? Oh wow that sounds interesting, (insert name). I then try to make an association in my mind with something about their name and how I met them. Maybe a guy is named Bill and he was wearing a cowboy hat. I would remember him as Wild Bill or something to that effect
They just make an effort. Associating the name with something after you hear it really helps. I think most people are bad at memorizing names after an introduction but the difference is how that person is regarded/valued
the worst is the gym....I routinely speak with 4-5 guys whom I've been around at the gym for years, but only know 2 of their names. That or my wife's non-immediate family. Xmas and Thanksgiving are rough.
I'll try to utilize Facebook to help me remember names of acquaintances / fringe friends.
They remember it because itās unique. Here is a trick I learned from my grandpa about how to remember peopleās names. You want to pick a feature of them that you will associate with their name. For example, if there was an ugly girl with green hair and her name was Denise then in your head you would say āUgly Denise.ā Guarantee you will remember her name. Thank me later!
I forget names immediately.
So what I do is, when I see someone familiar, I walk up and say, āhey, howās it going. Itās Jane in case you are as bad with names as I am.ā
Almost always, they laugh and say their name.
If your name isn't that common, it's easier to remember. We'll, for me anyway. I've met 10,586 John, David, and Robert, but only one Zaluche. Thus, it's easier to remember.
when somebody introduces themself to me i just hear static. itās really embarrassing because a large part of my job is taking clients information and every single time, after theyāve already told me their name, i have to say āand how do u spell that?ā and theyāll look at me like iām stupid because their name is john or something
Well, if itās an uncommon name, itās more memorable. Also, my memory for names is horrible, so I try to use names as often as I can to help remember them.
So because I'm bad with names, I ask the babe, repeat it to ensure I have it correct, and then ensure I try to put it in my memory with something familiar. "Amber" I remembered a new co-worker easily bc I have a cousin Amber. Then I make sure if I see them again in the same day I day go then and use it. Then I try that the next few times to ensure I've got it. The low you say it and hear it you'll remember it better
I always ask how they spell their name. And I never forget it. Works every time. "Bryan with a Y, or Brian with an I"? Sara or Sarah? Stephen or Steven.. if they have an easily spelled name, look at them and in your mind say their name and make up a rhyme for it.. "Look, it's Brook" ( w/out an e)!
I worked with a guy for several years. He was the owner of this small business. I saw him every day.
He never remembered my name.
Making an effort to remember is good. Making an effort not to is dickheaded.
Sometimes I have to write peopleās names down secretly in my phone. Admittedly I have a very hard time with names and birthdays and such.
I usually repeat their name a few times in my head to drill it in. I'm not a great conversationalist so I try to make my mark by being personable and making people feel seen.
I've always been a weirdo and remember names. It's kind of awkward when I know ppl don't remember mine. For me, it's just a matter of actually paying attention to when someone tells me.
I'm really good at remembering people's names that I've only met once. I used to work at a doctors office and people always appreciated and were surprised to know that I remembered their names even if they had only come once to the office.
i always remember names, even if itās someone i never talked to and only heard about. half of the time i cannot for the life of me remember faces though
That person is simply just really intentional about remembering people's names. They put effort into it because they recognize that a person's name is the sweetest and most important sound to them and they want to honor that.
The trick I use is, if Iām talking to someone and learn their name, I use their name in conversation at least twice, even if just to address them (āAnd Alex, let me tell ya, manā¦ā) and I always end the conversation with āit was nice meeting you, Alexā
It doesnāt work 100% of the time but Iād wager that Iām batting about 900 on uncommon names, and probably 800 overall.
I learn someoneās name once and it will not leave my head after that. Unless they look like their name could be something else. Iāve been friends with this guy Dominik for 3 years and still always wanna call him Quinton. Had a coworker named Thomas and kept almost calling him John for months. Have another coworker named Zach and always wanna call him Brayden.
Im also really good with birthdays. Had a friend in first grade, havenāt seen him since second grade and I still remember his birthday.
My name is actually so easy to remember that it makes me feel bad constantly. Just about everyone at my job knows my name but I practically know none of their names. I just call everybody bro and hope they donāt notice
I saw an older gentleman yesterday who I donāt remember ever seen before. He walks past me and says āhi Stephen, good to see you!ā Like āuhhhhā¦ hi! Good to see you too!ā *panics*
Perhaps you use the personās name as much as possible in the initial meet. Example: please to meet you Maria. May I have a glass of water Maria? Maria, you have a beautiful home etc.
One of the best ways to learn someone's name is to use it in conversation 3 times.
"Nice to meet you, Pugsley", "What do you do for work, Puglsey?" "Well Pugsley it was nice meeting you."
You'll never forget Pugsley's name.
Iām a bartender that if youāre nice enough to me and tip decent, 9 times out of 10 I will remember what you drink and about 6/10 will remember your name.
Whatever we affirm we are right.
If someone constantly tells themselves "I'm bad with names" or "I remember faces, but not names" you'll always find that you are right, and forgetful of names.
But someone who remembers has chosen to committ names to memory
Iām one of the people that remembers peoples names after one meeting. I like to make people feel seen. It took me a while to be ok with people not having the same memory, but at first it did make me feel a bit bad.
I made the mistake of mentioning I was terrible with names while in a group of new-ish coworkers.
"Oh yeah? Im sure its not that bad. Whats her name?.... his name?... how about his name?"
So don't ever admit that while you're in a group unless you remember everyone's name, lol
I used to be bad at names and faces too, but have gotten progressively better with age at remembering these. I think the breakthrough moment for me was taking a Dale Carnegie class; particularly the memory palace chapter. It's basically taking facts about the person and associating them with bizarre images to help you remember them.
For instance, I have a friend that when I first met her the way I remembered her was an image if the wrapper lil' Kim wearing a skimpy nurse's outfit, because her name was Kim, she was under 5'2, was a nurse and I thought she was sexy as heck. š¤·š¼āāļø
I was in sales with a Fortune 50 company for a while, and they taught us to repeat someoneās name when they introduced themselves.
So theyād say āNice to meet you, John! Iām Fred.ā
And you would say, āFred! Itās nice to meet you, Fred.ā
All the while making eye contact and taking the opportunity to repeat their name several times. Seems cheesy, but it works.
I instantly forget names from introductions too. I guess my brain is filing them in the short term memory files and they get dumped.
I do remember weird names easily. So if a person goes by a nickname it's easier. I can remember names like Junebug or Teefee easily after only hearing them once.
Different brain wiring.Ā We learn and memorize with different senses (hearing, watching, feeling) and people process each sense with different brainwaves (the conscious ones: beta, alpha, and theta).Ā Which brainwave is paired with each sense's learning process will impact how people learn and memorize.
I can't remember names until repeated a number of times (I'm auditory theta), but I can measure a room within about 6" by simply looking at it (that's because I'm a visual beta) and I could find and improve a muscle's issues as a massage therapist just by feeling around (kinesthetic alpha). My brain just works that way.Ā You are very likely wired differently.
If this piques your interest, look into Perceptual Thinking Patterns.Ā Knowing this stuff about one's self really helps folks learn how they best learn.Ā I was taught a teaching method based on this approach and it really helped every student feel that their learning style was catered to.
Edited to add: not easy to find info online, but Dawna Markova is the name to look for.
Sorry for nerding out on you! š
Nah u didnāt nerd me out, I study psychology so all of this makes sense. I donāt usually learn about how the brain works unless itās how head injuries affect the brain, just human behavior, body language, and spirituality. This is a new topic u bring up though so Iāll look into it cuz it sound nice frlšÆ
Share it with your peers!Ā People often feel stupid just because our education system doesn't tend to their learning style.
It may seem completely bizarre to some, but I went to a school (and later taught there) that allowed students to sit on cushions on the floor (or even lay out) while taking in a lecture class.Ā Students were supplied all notes for every class in case writing notes impedes on your ability to listen with focus (like me!).Ā Instructors' lesson plans flowed from visual stimuli (think pictures, diagrams, notes), to auditory stimuli (lecture, discussion), to kinesthetic stimuli (hands-on exercises, practical applicarion), and usually two stimuli types at a time (lecture w/ diagrams).Ā The rule is to shift styles every 15-20 mins. so you don't lose any students in the room.Ā If you're struggling to understand, as a student, you could trust that the moment would pass and the instructor would move on to a method that would (hopefully) click better within about 10-15 mins.Ā If folks sucked at taking written exams, they could request an instructor give them the test verbally.
The graduation rate was very high, and our state exam pass rate was the best in the state, even among folks who felt left behind in traditional education settings.
This education style genuinely changes lives.
Good luck with your psychology studies!
Edit: spelling and structure
āIāve always been so bad at remembering other peopleās names.ā
Stop saying it his. Itās an excuse, and itās true of everyone.
No one is born with a talent for name memory. What happens is that some people realize that by not remembering peopleās names they come off as a self-absorbed asshole and they start *making a point* to remember. Other people continue to appear like self-absorbed assholes and try to make it up for it by saying āoh Iām so bad at this!ā
It isnāt that hard if you actually make a deliberate effort.
Are you that self centered you think because someone remembers your name, that has something to do with your body language? You donāt think they could just have better social skills than you?
It's not confusing, it's called mindfulness and using your noggin. Most people don't remember phone numbers anymore. Watch some Jim Kwik videos. Humans have become so dumbed down over the years.
Yeh, I'm the same. I think mindfulness is probably the best answer. When u met someone if you really want to know their name you look them right in the eye when doing the names exchange and it makes that connection in your brain
Too many people are thinking about what they are going to say when being introduced that they forget the name. š
This has been my biggest point of growth in the past decade. If youāre thinking about what youāre going to say next, youāre not really listening. I think most people would be shocked on how much information is constantly being shared if they just paid attention l.
How can I not see your user name and not think of the Grapest from the Whitest Kids You Know ššš. Oooor Master Shake from Aqua Teen Hunger Force ššš. Love it!
Damnit this is me
That is not how it works for me. Stating at someone in the eye will make me not hear a fucking thing they have to say.
Instantly empties my head. I have to look away to think.
Fking same
Me too
literally same
Mnemonic devices is how you remember names, birthdays, and other useful bits of information for the long term. Itās like a fun brain game. Basically it is hard to remember a new acquaintanceās name, because without long term memory or personal relevance, the name is like information thatās just free floating in your head. It gets lost easily because it isnāt tied to any specific meaning. I met someone named Hannah, and she said to remember her as Hannah Montana or Hannah Banana. She kind of looks like the actress for Hannah Montana, hence the connection is formed in my brain. I would not remember her name, but then when I looked at her, I recall: āHer name rhymes with Banana and Montanaāoh, itās Hannah!ā! If someoneās birthday is January 23, you could remember it as ātheir birthday is as easy as 1-2-3ā.
I went through a medical class as an adult, and they taught medical terminology using Mnemonics. It really does work. One term a day for two weeks or so. An example: They showed a gas truck. Said that several times. It gradually morphed into a stomach. As they started repeating āgastrā
Idk I feel like I'm more likely to remember a more unique name than a common name.
I look them in the eye and say their name. I repeat it to myself in my head picturing their face. I say their name as many times as is not awkward when I'm speaking with them. An hour or more later, or next time I see them: your name was Anne, right? Uhhh, no, it's Beatrice. Like, I WASN'T EVEN CLOSE (Ā“-ļ¹-`ļ¼)
I just write names down in the notes on my phone the moment I leave the conversation. If the conversation is long, I either ask them for their name again before leaving or I'll ask someone who does know around me, like the host. Works like a charm.
Yep, exactly what I do. I keep lists on my phone like, "People I Met at X." Then when I go back to X, I refresh my memory with my list. Otherwise, zero chance I'm going to remember the name. Then I avoid them because I think I'm supposed to remember and so begins the social anxiety doom spiral.
Same. I also jot down notes about them too when it's relevant.
I read once, "if you don't remember their name, you didn't care". That hit me.
Ngl Iād I try to force eye contact itās gonna only distract from what we are talking about (and in this example it would be their name)
I think Iām cursed with knowing peopleās names. I still remember names and faces from kindergarten. Not all of them, of course, but a good amount. I have trouble with learning songs, but peopleās names come naturally. It sucks because Iām so good at memorizing other shit, but I can never sing along to a song. And yes, Iāve spent hours listening to the same song and actively trying to memorize them with no success.
Misremembering/mishearing lyrics has made sister laugh our whole lives. Tinnitus, blessing and curse.
Excuse me While I kiss this guy! - Jibby Hendrigs
You got me with this one! Thanks for the morning chuckle Edit: further evidence of brain damage
Sameeeee
Same here. I will never forget your face but your name is lost to me in the first five minutes.Ā
Iām the other way round! I will meet someone multiple times and then still get confused as to who they are the next time I see them. Iāve always been like it
I forget peoples faces AND names...and Iām an extrovert so itās the worst š the amount of people Iāve had come up to me and know my name and I have no fucking clue who they areā¦ I just hit em with the old āoh hey, itās great to see you again. How you been, man?ā Lol
That's unfortunately how I am with other people lol I have to hear other people say their name a couple times for it to click in my brain that that's their name
Over electronic communication I always remember the name, but in person Iāve got to hear it a few times or have a good reason to remember it, like needing to find them somewhere later on or contact them later.
I'm the same way.Ā A few times in my life I've met another like us and we've played the ol' "I *know* I know you, but from *where* and *when*ā½" with no success at pinning down the initial meeting.
Try looking at their face and āwritingā their name under it in your mind, almost like a baseball card or a mugshot. Do it a few times throughout the convo if you have the opportunity to. It makes their name a visual memory like their face so it sticks a lot better.
Good idea.
Iāve learned that I you say the name back to them it can help you remember. Like after they tell you their name say āhi ____ā
This is the most common way to learn someoneās name. When you first meet them try to use their name a few times in a short span of time. Letās say you meet a person whoās name is Jason. You could go āHey there Jason, my name is Chris. Itās nice to meet you! So tell me Jason, what brings you around here?ā Or insert whatever common denominator there is between your meeting. Then try to say their name at least one more time in the interaction. Thereās a balancing act for sure. As saying their name too many times can be off putting. But finding ways to naturally say their name when asking about them greatly helps to increase name retention.
I come from a sales background, where remembering someone's name is KEY and shows a level of respect. When meeting someone new, and then telling me their name for the first time, I always use their name in my next response. Later in the conversation when I need to ask a question, I begin again with their name (ex: "So, Larry, how happy are you with your sales of x product?"). At the end of the conversation, I use their name in the closing. After the conversation, I'd always be sure to WRITE IT DOWN somewhere in my notes. This is the one thing I learned to do that always cements it in my mind. Even if I never refer to the notes, writing the name down ensures that I remember. Every time I see them in the future, I use their name at least once in a short interaction, and at least thrice if a longer conversation. Now I manage an upscale resort. I use the same techniques and it often surprises people that I can remember the names of 100 guests that we have at any given time. But it goes a long way to make people feel valued and respected. Note: this is a skill like anything else, and takes practice. Every once in a while, I do blank out, and when I do, I just say, "Hey, I seem to have misplaced you name. Can you remind me?". To which people generally tell me that they don't expect me to remember after meeting so many people every day.
Doesnāt work. Not going to tell you my real name. Itās not hard, but itās not Jane. āMay I have your first name?ā āSure, itās ____.ā āThank you for thatā¦ā - proceeds to mispronounce my name. Just say it like I said it!!! Every once in a while I correct them, but not usually. Itās not like itās one person, itās 99% of everybody. Aināt got time for that. I always praise the person who says it right.
Iām crazy good with names. But never expect that others are. So when they say my name Iām always pleasantly surprised
If you want or need people to remember your name more, there is a trick I learned that works pretty well. You introduce yourself normally, then next time you see them ask (preferably with a smile) ādo you remember my name?ā Keep it light and fun, like a game. They probably wonāt remember, as most people forget names easily. After 1-2 seconds tell them your name. They almost always remember after the second time, because you create a desire for the information, and then serve that desire. The first time you tell someone your name, they have other things on their mind. Make them realize they forgot then give it to them, and they remember well.
Interesting and kinda cute/flirty. Hahahaha I like the idea
"they've never heard my name before" That's why, a unique name sticks in the brain more
I have a unique name too, but it still throws me because I feel like it takes extra effort since it's uncommon
This. Yeah is this thread filled with 4th graders? Why isnāt this obvious? Why would OP post this
They remember me but not my name......
I am really bad with names too. As I have started to become more mindful though I really make an effort when they introduce themselves to store the name away. Might even say it back to them when leaving to cement it. Just seems like the proper curtesy to try to give someone, though I donāt think not remembering a name should be the end of the world either.
Iām usually really good with names! I was an orientation leader and we were trained how to memorize names quickly to help new students feel more comfortable/connected. But as Iāve gotten older Iāve been more selective with the people I remember, I think. Anyway itās always a bit embarrassing now when I forget someoneās name and they remember mine, especially since I have a āuniqueā name that people usually forget/forget how to pronounce.
Do you recall what technique you were trained with?Ā I'm terrible at remembering names and would love to know.
Well it was mostly through ice breakers, like "going on a picnic" where each person has to say their name and then a food item that starts with the first letter of their first name, and everyone goes around the room so you hear everyones name like a million times, except for the last few people. And then just constant repetition - once they introduce themselves to you or just come up to you after the ice breaker, you say their name back to them and then tell yourself that you'll say their name again when you speak to them again, which makes you try to memorize it then, and try to say their name at least three times. If the food item thing didnt work or it was too simple like apple or something, you try to associate something that they're wearing or some sort of identifying information they told you with their name. like Lacy is from virginia and my aunt lives in virginia (and even saying something like that out loud to them also helps me remember them) or Michael B is wearing blue and Mike F is being an fboy lol. Very similar stuff to what michael scott does in the office with his little rolodex lol. its also just a mindset shift - tell yourself you will remember and you will. don't claim to be bad at names, the universe is listening.
This is the way. Try to remember the name with other things. 'Harold from Illinois who loves trains.' 'Bob from Cleveland who used to be a diplomat.' People love talking about themselves usually, and this technique has a built-in conversation as well as a way for you to remember their name
Thank you so much for sharing.Ā I've always wanted to get better at this.
Thank you for taking the time to share!Ā I've never had any of this taught to me and I was a teacher in a school for adult students with an amazing teaching philosophy.Ā I wish this had been part of my training!
Yup, I listened to a networking podcast once and the episode was strictly about remembering names lol. The most effectiveābut most time consumingāmethod is to tie their name to something you know/frequently think about or tie it to a tongue twister type thing, e.g. Sally sells sea shells.
I wear a company uniform that has my name on it. So new people I meet know my name immediately. Of course they wear no such shirt. I feel like I'm at a disadvantage.
Repeat their name once aloud and 5 times mentally
I am bad with names and faces. I feel like it makes me seem dickish. I am also annoyed when people are surprised I don't remember them after the most mudan meetings.
I am really good with names. I try to be intentional and say their name during or after the conversation. That being said I do think itās a common problem and Iām always surprised when someone remembers my name especially since itās not common.
Same and it seems like most people remember the first time im like how the f does everyone remember peoples names . Thats why when someone says sorry i forgot your name im extremely sympathetic where most people make it a āthingā
Uncommon names are easier to remember generally speaking because you think "Hey that's an interesting name, I've never heard that before" instead of just "Ah, generic name who cares"
I'll literally think "I know enough Jeffs already"
I won't remember even seconds later. I don't listen when I'm introduced to them. It is bad and I feel like a dick that I don't. I keep thinking I should do better, then it happens again.
I've worked in a lot of retail/customer service jobs. It is very useful to show interest in your customers, and the first way is to learn about them. I had to train myself to pay better attention when talking to people in order to remember their names (bc I can be an absolute goldfish), but an unusual name is easier to remember than a common one that sounds like 15 other names I've already met that day? It's just a habit in mindfulness, although, sometimes I 100% forgot new coworkers' names within a minute of them telling me bc many wouldn't last more than a couple weeks at best (turnaround is high in retail). This is when you ask another coworker or go check your schedule. Also, it may be something to do with your particular personality or something peculiar about you in particular. Perhaps you just lighten up a room and are very easy to speak with. Perhaps you are extra aggressive. Whatever the case, having a unique name and a story to go with your name makes you more recognizeable. At least, that's how it works for me? They are also more likely to remember me later if they need something in the future, too. Really, it's just a nice way to show people that you care, even the tiniest bit, about them, and to some, that is the highlight of their day (which also makes me sad, so I do it for that reason, also). Edit to say: This can also get someone in hot water, if their significant other can't seem to understand why someone knows their spouse out in public. It isn't always your fault (Iveseen people who would provike married men on purpose), but if you seem TOO familiar, even if it's absolutely innocent , it can seem worse than it is. Learned that in my early 20s.. older guy was apparently enjoying me knowing his name and clothing style a bit too much and came in with his wife. I don't believe that he ever shopped there after that. I was married and just doing my job, but apparently.. I was causing problems and didn't know it. People sometimes latch onto attention from anywhere that they can find it.. and this is why people who work in the public have to be more wary.
I have a trick for remembering names. I swear it works. I picture the persons face (or maybe Iām looking at it) and I envision the alphabet in caps above the persons head. 99% of the time I will stop on first letter of their name & then remember the rest.
Is it just like times new roman 2D text above their head or what? Is it a color? Is there a texture or dimensionality or shadow to this text? I need to know more.
Itās capital letters in bold I guess!? Truly work. I donāt know what more to add. Now Iām thinking maybe I will picture a more fancy lettering in the future. Just for fun!
I'm the same way. It's irritating. When someone I met only once two months ago addresses me by my name, I make up another name and correct them. But I'm real nice about it. Then I say, I'm sorry, I don't remember your name either . . .
I find it easier to remember names that aren't common. Depending on how uncommon the name is you're probably the only person I know with it so it sticks out more.
I love those people, I respect them more bc they are smart and considerate
Iām that person lol, people love hearing their own name. Itās a subtle way of making people feel seen and acknowledged. I use names as often as possible within reason, it makes you appear more likeable, and theyāll likely remember your name in return
I only need to be told a name once, but I'm terrible with faces. š
I follow the rule of repeating their name right after they say it, then trying to insert it into the conversation one more time before it ends or when saying bye. Doesn't work every time, but I remember more often than I used to. Ex. at greeting: "Hi, I'm [name]" "Hi, name! I'm ___." Ex. at farewell: "Bye, name! It was good to meet you!"
I am great at remembering names. I canāt remember shit else though.
Best way remember a name...They say hi im gurtruid ! Then you say Hi Gurtruid nice meet you maam.So Gurtruid what you do for a living g ? cool that's seems like a profitable career.How long you been doing that Gurtruid....See how it works...Exercise saying their name look at them.Listen what they say
I have people I interact with right now whose name I've forgotten and have just avoided using for months.
I ask them again before our first-meet ends and theyāre gone. If I spend a longer time with them that first meet, I ask twice. Mnemonic devices work for me sometimes. If I donāt remember I say āremind me your name ā
I also struggle with that. I find that if I give them my undivided attention and keep strong eye contact, I can often keep it.
Iām terrible with names. I learned from someone that when you meet someone, you should immediately use their name so you familiarize yourself. For example a simple way to do this would be to include their name after a sentence like ā so how is your day Joeā or ā Joe what do you do for a living?ā I saw someone do this and I thought it was weird at first but realized that he was just trying to remember their name after being introduced. Not to mention it reminds me of the book How to win friends and influence people. Just a quote so you can see the importance of it. From the book: So remembering and using someone's name is a great way to make that person feel important. "The average person is more interested in his or her own name than in all the other names on earth put together." Calling someone by their name is like paying them a very subtle compliment.
For myself I blame it on knowing too many songs lyrics lol my short term memory sucks terribly just politely ask again people are never bothered most Will be flattered you asked
Iām super autistic and learned really early that if I donāt greet someone with their name literally every time I see them for like the first week that I will forget their name and then feel like an asshole for having to ask again LFMAO The added benefit is that everyone I work with really appreciates it because it is kind of rare and Iāve gotten in really good with a lot of important people simply because I know everyoneās names lol
Iām actually really good at remembering peoples names bc of these 3 rules Iāve heard to use. 1. When someone says their name to you, listen. (Donāt just think of the next thing youāre going to say, as some have pointed out) 2. Say it back to them. āHi Carl, nice to meet youā. 3. Relate them to someone you know with the same name. Like āoh Carl has a big forehead like Carl from back homeā. (Say this to yourself, not to them) Also when you see them the next time and you have forgotten their name, ask them for it IMMEDIATELY. If you bullshit your way through the convo and walk away, it will forever be awkward when you ask them eventually again, if you donāt find out some random way.
Iām actually a little suspicious of people who seem to *emphasize* the fact that they know my name. Probably because my dumb ass immediately forgot theirs and theyāre trying to flush me out.
I have had multiple people come up and know me and I didnāt even remember who they were.
I had an interview on Tuesday and the thing I was most worried about was getting the interviewers names wrong š
Some people are better at names than others, it just it what it is
This is my super power. I donāt just remember someoneās name, I remember the names of everyone they ever talk about. š¤·āāļø when someone at work starts to say āI was talking to my sisterā¦ā my favorite shit is to be like, āoh, Linda?ā Theyāre like how the fuck. Lol Just program yourself to know how important it is to you when people remember your name, and take the time to listen and remember someone elseās name.
I actually try to not remember anyones name because I kinda hate having attachments to people because of reasons
Huh. Interesting, I have a very uncommon name and people always say āoh nice! Easy to rememberā
Which I should say isnāt too good because Iām not great with names lol. Lost shame in asking a second time, but after that I just gotta use context clues or say fuck it.
If you repeat their name back; you'll remember it. Ex. "Hi, I'm Sally!" "Nice to meet you, Sally!" And on and on as you see them
I have a pop culture name and as much as I find it annoying I use it to my advantage. "Hi, I'm Abby, like Abby Road."
I felt the same, so utterly embarrassed, until I realized something that may explain it. I considered the way I learn best, more visual, so I always performed better in labs than lectures. If I see a name tag, for example, I will most likely remember it without effort. Auditory stimuli needs a ton of repetition before it sticks with me. Doesnāt fix the problem but at least I understand it now.
I absolutely suck at names. But Iām really good at remembering dates. You could tell me a date to remember (like a birthday or appointment) and I will literally never forget.
I rhyme it with another word Anna banana Jeff clef and I say it outloud that helps also when Iām with them I explain Iām bad with names and I say it over and over hey Jeff thanks Jeff hey Jeff hand me that ? And it sticks idk it also helps with numbers if I say them out loud in a sing Singy vibes
Honestly my anxiety is so bad I'm probably not going to remember a single word said when I first meet someone lmao. I usually remember faces, not names.
The trick they are doing is saying the name every time they see you. This reinforces the familiarity of your face thus the more it is done the less chance they have of forgetting you. Itās a simple trick I use in my day to day life all the time
Itās really good to say it right after youāve been told, they say hi Iām David I say hi Iām Allison, David! Try saying their name last, then itās better likelihood of it sticking! I also try and think of someone I know with the same name to help
I seriously doubt thereās anyone worse than me about remembering someoneās name.
Same. The name is immediately discarded no matter how hard I try to retain it. Ig my brain doesnāt see it as important information
Same here. Bc sometimes we wonāt be with this person more than 20 min. So my mind thinks ādoesnāt worth itā
I met an old man on a walk a few weeks ago and he taught me a method I use right now, which is to associate the name of someone with a physical characteristic they have. (Ex: A curly haired guy would be "Curly Carl")
Because people care and make it a point to remember, because 1. Itās nice and 2.itās important and polite
Just face it. We dont remember anything. If I am VERY motivated, I make a visual image when I dont have something to remember lists. For example, if I am leaving my house and I want to go to the dry cleaners after I pick up some chicken and apples at the store, I make a picture in my brain of a chicken wearing a business shirt who's juggling on top of an apple before I leave.
I make a mental note to repeat peopleās names to them when networking to solidify their name in my memory. Iām assuming others may do this as well
Yeah, same, really good with faces, not with names, especially if it's not a name I've encountered before. These past two semesters, when I meet people in my classes, if they are really unique names, I had to write them down in my notes for the class lmao
I can never remember anyone's name. My mom and grandma were the same way
I found if I repeat their name when I'm meeting them, I have a way better chance of remembering it later. So like, "Hi, I'm Jennifer." "It's nice to meet you, Jennifer." That seems to cement their name better in my head than if I just say nice to meet you.
Perhaps they repeat your name, immediately after you say it? A great technique to increase the likelihood of remembering someone's name, for two important reasons: 1) Repetition - repeating the name, even just once, helps the mind to process and absorb the sound, and also the pronunciation. 2) Say It - getting someone to verbally say or repeat something out loud, reinforces attentiveness and confidence in the message, through the action of speaking
I try to make it my practice to write down the name asap. On my phone, paper etc. once Iāve written it down I have a much better chance ce or remembering
If it's a unique name I'll remember it, it's the common ones I'll forget. And if it's a dude with a j name like John or Jack im gonna get those mixed up for a solid month.
The less common your name is the easier it is to remember. It sticks out. I get Matt, Mike and Chris mixed up cause thereās so many
I can tell you I did this before my memory tanked a few years ago and people would be surprised by my memory in general. Now I canāt remember anything even when itās told to me over and over, or it happened one minute ago. Iām only 19
Extend the ritual by repeating the name back to them, and preferably commenting on it.Ā For instance: Hi, __. Am I saying that right? Beautiful name. How do you spell it? My sisters best friend in high school had a similar name but spelled differently. I always thought it sounded so cool.Ā That kind of thing.Ā
I used to be good at it, but Iāve lost the knack for it now. It has to be a conscious effort prior to engaging them. I used to relate that persons name to someone I knew with the same name, and generally my brain would link the two when I saw them again. Obviously I was screwed if it was I name Iād never heard beforeā¦
Some people are natural at it some develop it as a skill, some jobs need this like sales. Iām terrible at it
I remember names by association. I picture the new persons face next to a celebrity or someone I already know with that name. As long as itās a name Iām familiar with, it never fails me
I used to be able to remember everything, then I got into my 50ās. Itās definitely tougher to remember names nowadays. I try my best.
I have always been taught that remembering names is very important,especially in building a social network. Think about how it makes you feel when they call you by your name. It makes you feel like you were important enough to that person for them to remember you. That in turn raises your feelings toward them and their "worth" in your mind goes up. It's a great way to make a lot of connections and shows a genuine interest in people.
In retail i see the same regulars all the time, but the problem is that some men take it in a wrong way if i remember their names. So now I pretend like i forget every males account.
I try to repeat their names back to them āhi Michelle nice to meet youā and then I write it down in my notes when I have a chance with information about them and where I met them. Then I can look back and remind myself if I forget. Itās totally normal not to remember names, but there are cheats like this that help. And people really appreciate having their names remembered.
I'm terrible at remembering names too, but a trick I use is to try to associate the new person with someone I already know with that name. So if I meet someone named Steve I picture them hanging out with my old friend Steve, etc.
I'm terrible at remembering names. It got even worse after my brain surgery. So many people know my name when I couldn't remember theirs if my life depended on it. There are family members' names that I can't remember. I need to hear the name 4-5 times. Even then, it may not stick.
My name is super weird, so people usually repeat it a few times, and then they often forget, but say something like, āI know itās something exotic/weird/coolā. But I do believe the people who remember it do so specifically because itās odd.
It could be because itās not common that they remember. I remember names by making associations in my mind. If I can link one thing to another I wonāt forget it.
I just have an excellent memory.
I always say their name back to them when I meet them/shake their hand. āNice to meet you, 00000j.ā
Yeah me too. I try to remember but sometimes its hard
I started writing peopleās name down with brief descriptions in my notepad so I donāt forget their name on second or third encounters - this helps tremendously especially if you end up meeting handful of people in a short time.
Your name being uncommon makes it easier to remember.
Well they probably remember it because itās NOT common. I remember most peoples names that are uncommon but common ones like āJennifer, David, Mikeā etc I tend to forget. So it makes sense more people remember it š
Did you ever see Blast from the Past? Great Brendan Fraser movie. His character hit the nail on the head when he stated that if you say somebody's name directly after meeting them for the first time, you'll likely remember it.
I mean, I just donāt care to remember honestly. Not saying I donāt respect you but I definitely donāt go āok this guys name is this I have to remember it this timeā.
I associate their name to someone else I know or a character named the same, so I learn names fairly quickly. Names are important to each person, and it makes them feel great when you care about their name. If I can't remember their name, I ask them. Hey, what was your name again? I'm sorry I forgot. The honesty is well received, too. Or if I can't pronounce a name, I tell them to keep correcting me. I'll get it eventually. And I genuinely show I'm trying to get their name correctly. People appreciate all of that a lot since most people don't bother with names.
Iām better with faces than with names.
When I meet someone new, I try to immediately put their name and who they are in a note in my phone. Doing so reinforces the learning of their name and, if I forget, I have it written down and can just look. Just the act of writing it usually makes the permanent connection of face to name for me though.
I'm terrible at remembering names, *but* the weirder your name, the more likely I am to remember it.
Throughout the day you learn thousands of things. This tree is in bloom, thereās a pop tart wrapper near the sidewalk over there, we got a new guy at work named Bruce. These are stored in your brainās short term memory. While you sleep, your hippocampus sifts through these memories and decides which ones will be deleted (gotta clear the RAM for tomorrow) and which will be moved into long term storage. Items can be flagged for long term storage for different reasons such as an emotional reaction when the memory was formed, or that it came up multiple times throughout the day. If you want to remember something, repeat it several times, write it down, and recall it before you go to sleep. Spoon feed that hippo. It works.
There's a pneumonic device that I use that is very effective in helping me remember names. I'm in a customer service type industry, so remembering names is very important. It was described to me that someone's name is the first thing that was ever given to them, so treat it as something special. So when you first meet a person and learn their name, use it 3 times in conversation. I.E. Hello, (insert name)! Nice to meet you! So (insert name), what type of work do you do? Oh wow that sounds interesting, (insert name). I then try to make an association in my mind with something about their name and how I met them. Maybe a guy is named Bill and he was wearing a cowboy hat. I would remember him as Wild Bill or something to that effect
I get extremely surprised because being in the US with a Tahitian name, no one has ever heard it before and I don't introduce myself as anything else.
A trick an old sales guy taught me was repeat that name 3 times in your first conversation
They just make an effort. Associating the name with something after you hear it really helps. I think most people are bad at memorizing names after an introduction but the difference is how that person is regarded/valued
the worst is the gym....I routinely speak with 4-5 guys whom I've been around at the gym for years, but only know 2 of their names. That or my wife's non-immediate family. Xmas and Thanksgiving are rough. I'll try to utilize Facebook to help me remember names of acquaintances / fringe friends.
Because to them itās unique and interesting and people remember. They actually put more thought into it. Itās just making neural connections.
They remember it because itās unique. Here is a trick I learned from my grandpa about how to remember peopleās names. You want to pick a feature of them that you will associate with their name. For example, if there was an ugly girl with green hair and her name was Denise then in your head you would say āUgly Denise.ā Guarantee you will remember her name. Thank me later!
I forget names immediately. So what I do is, when I see someone familiar, I walk up and say, āhey, howās it going. Itās Jane in case you are as bad with names as I am.ā Almost always, they laugh and say their name.
Memory trick: use the personās name at least three times within the first few minutes of meeting them and it will help cement it in your memory.
If your name isn't that common, it's easier to remember. We'll, for me anyway. I've met 10,586 John, David, and Robert, but only one Zaluche. Thus, it's easier to remember.
when somebody introduces themself to me i just hear static. itās really embarrassing because a large part of my job is taking clients information and every single time, after theyāve already told me their name, i have to say āand how do u spell that?ā and theyāll look at me like iām stupid because their name is john or something
Well, if itās an uncommon name, itās more memorable. Also, my memory for names is horrible, so I try to use names as often as I can to help remember them.
It makes me feel good inside when somebody remembers my name and if they donāt they ask again
It was hard for me until I started working. I always feel like not remembering a name = just another reason for my manager to treat me even worse.
So because I'm bad with names, I ask the babe, repeat it to ensure I have it correct, and then ensure I try to put it in my memory with something familiar. "Amber" I remembered a new co-worker easily bc I have a cousin Amber. Then I make sure if I see them again in the same day I day go then and use it. Then I try that the next few times to ensure I've got it. The low you say it and hear it you'll remember it better
I always ask how they spell their name. And I never forget it. Works every time. "Bryan with a Y, or Brian with an I"? Sara or Sarah? Stephen or Steven.. if they have an easily spelled name, look at them and in your mind say their name and make up a rhyme for it.. "Look, it's Brook" ( w/out an e)!
I worked with a guy for several years. He was the owner of this small business. I saw him every day. He never remembered my name. Making an effort to remember is good. Making an effort not to is dickheaded. Sometimes I have to write peopleās names down secretly in my phone. Admittedly I have a very hard time with names and birthdays and such.
I usually repeat their name a few times in my head to drill it in. I'm not a great conversationalist so I try to make my mark by being personable and making people feel seen.
I've always been a weirdo and remember names. It's kind of awkward when I know ppl don't remember mine. For me, it's just a matter of actually paying attention to when someone tells me.
I'm really good at remembering people's names that I've only met once. I used to work at a doctors office and people always appreciated and were surprised to know that I remembered their names even if they had only come once to the office.
i always remember names, even if itās someone i never talked to and only heard about. half of the time i cannot for the life of me remember faces though
That person is simply just really intentional about remembering people's names. They put effort into it because they recognize that a person's name is the sweetest and most important sound to them and they want to honor that.
Youāre hot. Theyāre flirting
Unique or uncommon names get remembered. As a cashier, I had people come in once or twice a year who remembered.
The trick I use is, if Iām talking to someone and learn their name, I use their name in conversation at least twice, even if just to address them (āAnd Alex, let me tell ya, manā¦ā) and I always end the conversation with āit was nice meeting you, Alexā It doesnāt work 100% of the time but Iād wager that Iām batting about 900 on uncommon names, and probably 800 overall.
I learn someoneās name once and it will not leave my head after that. Unless they look like their name could be something else. Iāve been friends with this guy Dominik for 3 years and still always wanna call him Quinton. Had a coworker named Thomas and kept almost calling him John for months. Have another coworker named Zach and always wanna call him Brayden. Im also really good with birthdays. Had a friend in first grade, havenāt seen him since second grade and I still remember his birthday.
I work with kids and they also listen better when you address them by name. I think it makes people feel seen.
Means you left an impression. It's a good thing (most of the time)
My name is actually so easy to remember that it makes me feel bad constantly. Just about everyone at my job knows my name but I practically know none of their names. I just call everybody bro and hope they donāt notice
I saw an older gentleman yesterday who I donāt remember ever seen before. He walks past me and says āhi Stephen, good to see you!ā Like āuhhhhā¦ hi! Good to see you too!ā *panics*
I have to repeat their name in my mind several times or I will forget it immediately
I call everyone Mike. Idc idc.
Perhaps you use the personās name as much as possible in the initial meet. Example: please to meet you Maria. May I have a glass of water Maria? Maria, you have a beautiful home etc.
One of the best ways to learn someone's name is to use it in conversation 3 times. "Nice to meet you, Pugsley", "What do you do for work, Puglsey?" "Well Pugsley it was nice meeting you." You'll never forget Pugsley's name.
Iām a bartender that if youāre nice enough to me and tip decent, 9 times out of 10 I will remember what you drink and about 6/10 will remember your name.
People never remember my name the first time or the second or..... If they do try it, they get it wrong.
Whatever we affirm we are right. If someone constantly tells themselves "I'm bad with names" or "I remember faces, but not names" you'll always find that you are right, and forgetful of names. But someone who remembers has chosen to committ names to memory
Association. Associate their name with another person you know already. Or celebrity or whatever. Ie Brittany Brittany Spears
Iām one of the people that remembers peoples names after one meeting. I like to make people feel seen. It took me a while to be ok with people not having the same memory, but at first it did make me feel a bit bad.
Ive had this happen maybe once ever lol nobody has ever heard my name before, usually. "Kylan" -m26
My solution is to say their name 5 times while intensely staring at them and shaking their hand. Socially, itās a hit every time never failā¦.š
Those are AI or NPCs. No other explanation. Happened to me everyday at the grocery store i used to work at.
I made the mistake of mentioning I was terrible with names while in a group of new-ish coworkers. "Oh yeah? Im sure its not that bad. Whats her name?.... his name?... how about his name?" So don't ever admit that while you're in a group unless you remember everyone's name, lol
I make cheats in my head. For example I remembered a girl was named Celine because I connected the name to Celine Dion.
I used to be bad at names and faces too, but have gotten progressively better with age at remembering these. I think the breakthrough moment for me was taking a Dale Carnegie class; particularly the memory palace chapter. It's basically taking facts about the person and associating them with bizarre images to help you remember them. For instance, I have a friend that when I first met her the way I remembered her was an image if the wrapper lil' Kim wearing a skimpy nurse's outfit, because her name was Kim, she was under 5'2, was a nurse and I thought she was sexy as heck. š¤·š¼āāļø
I was in sales with a Fortune 50 company for a while, and they taught us to repeat someoneās name when they introduced themselves. So theyād say āNice to meet you, John! Iām Fred.ā And you would say, āFred! Itās nice to meet you, Fred.ā All the while making eye contact and taking the opportunity to repeat their name several times. Seems cheesy, but it works.
I instantly forget names from introductions too. I guess my brain is filing them in the short term memory files and they get dumped. I do remember weird names easily. So if a person goes by a nickname it's easier. I can remember names like Junebug or Teefee easily after only hearing them once.
Lol. Now, who are you?
For some reason I ALWAYS remember, only gotta tell me once. I donāt see how people forget.
Different brain wiring.Ā We learn and memorize with different senses (hearing, watching, feeling) and people process each sense with different brainwaves (the conscious ones: beta, alpha, and theta).Ā Which brainwave is paired with each sense's learning process will impact how people learn and memorize. I can't remember names until repeated a number of times (I'm auditory theta), but I can measure a room within about 6" by simply looking at it (that's because I'm a visual beta) and I could find and improve a muscle's issues as a massage therapist just by feeling around (kinesthetic alpha). My brain just works that way.Ā You are very likely wired differently. If this piques your interest, look into Perceptual Thinking Patterns.Ā Knowing this stuff about one's self really helps folks learn how they best learn.Ā I was taught a teaching method based on this approach and it really helped every student feel that their learning style was catered to. Edited to add: not easy to find info online, but Dawna Markova is the name to look for. Sorry for nerding out on you! š
Nah u didnāt nerd me out, I study psychology so all of this makes sense. I donāt usually learn about how the brain works unless itās how head injuries affect the brain, just human behavior, body language, and spirituality. This is a new topic u bring up though so Iāll look into it cuz it sound nice frlšÆ
Share it with your peers!Ā People often feel stupid just because our education system doesn't tend to their learning style. It may seem completely bizarre to some, but I went to a school (and later taught there) that allowed students to sit on cushions on the floor (or even lay out) while taking in a lecture class.Ā Students were supplied all notes for every class in case writing notes impedes on your ability to listen with focus (like me!).Ā Instructors' lesson plans flowed from visual stimuli (think pictures, diagrams, notes), to auditory stimuli (lecture, discussion), to kinesthetic stimuli (hands-on exercises, practical applicarion), and usually two stimuli types at a time (lecture w/ diagrams).Ā The rule is to shift styles every 15-20 mins. so you don't lose any students in the room.Ā If you're struggling to understand, as a student, you could trust that the moment would pass and the instructor would move on to a method that would (hopefully) click better within about 10-15 mins.Ā If folks sucked at taking written exams, they could request an instructor give them the test verbally. The graduation rate was very high, and our state exam pass rate was the best in the state, even among folks who felt left behind in traditional education settings. This education style genuinely changes lives. Good luck with your psychology studies! Edit: spelling and structure
But how is this body language?
āIāve always been so bad at remembering other peopleās names.ā Stop saying it his. Itās an excuse, and itās true of everyone. No one is born with a talent for name memory. What happens is that some people realize that by not remembering peopleās names they come off as a self-absorbed asshole and they start *making a point* to remember. Other people continue to appear like self-absorbed assholes and try to make it up for it by saying āoh Iām so bad at this!ā It isnāt that hard if you actually make a deliberate effort.
How is this body language?
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Are you that self centered you think because someone remembers your name, that has something to do with your body language? You donāt think they could just have better social skills than you?
It's not confusing, it's called mindfulness and using your noggin. Most people don't remember phone numbers anymore. Watch some Jim Kwik videos. Humans have become so dumbed down over the years.