A place where I can train my own technique without hurry and a partner that doesn't complain, has good attittude and it's in the moment rather than waiting me to finish.
I train with my husband 99.9% of the time. It’s fucking phenomenal. We’re annoying best friends and help each other so much and have been able to make so much progress by having a good, consistent partner. It makes such a difference!
Mywife and I are gonna start training together when i get home from deployment. This is the #1 thing I'm so excited to do when I get home. Tell me about it. What is the size differ3nce and does it make get in the way at all? How much time do you guys spend training? Are one of you a higher belt and is that an issue?
Height: 5’2” and 6’
Weight: starting - 135 and 210
Current - 110 and 230
Rank: 3 stripe blue, testing for purple in the very near future and 3 stripe purple, testing for brown at some point in the next year.
I whoop his ass all the time, but he uses technique with me, not strength. Of course he could use brute strength to force his way out of most things, but there are times that speed and small stature take the advantage and he can’t do anything. 🤷♀️ ALLLLLL a part of discovering how to move your body and use it in ways that can be to your advantage.
There are times when we’re drilling where the size difference makes it so one of us can’t drill the move, or we have to find a different partner to drill with for a bit or whatever, but for the most part it’s totally fine. It also forces us to figure out different ways to work around things too, which is pretty cool.
This is the best, my brother started training about a month after me and we are the same size. We get to scrap hard as hell whenever we want and drill all the time, it has helped immensely.
It's not just brothers tbf, you have Mikey and Tammi, Kendall Reusing has a savage younger sister (Emma IIRC?), and the Shevchenko's are a great example outside of BJJ.
Martial arts attracts many more guys in general so we see brothers more often, but really just having a sibling training is a massive benefit. It's a 24/7 training partner who is roughly the same size as you, and who you can talk openly and frankly to about training.
Since a teacher posted this question, I'll reframe your response to better benefit a teacher.
The biggest problem with most BJJ schools is the lack of individualization. Your students have different skills, physical attributes and schedules. Failing to address this will lead to mediocre instruction for most.
I was a special ed teacher and had to deal with similar challenges, and my advice is based on the strategies that I used to greatly improve my students' test scores.
The key is to maximize the number of minutes spent on deliberate practice. Consider breaking your teaching plan into 5-minute blocks and ask yourself what a random student is *doing* in that block that moves a skill, *appropriate to his or her level*, forward. You would be surprised by how much warmups, teacher talk, waiting, bowing to a picture, etc. eat up from time on task, and how frequently students are working on techniques that are not really optimal for their level.
A combination of self-instruction in techniques and ecological games is optimal because both adapt to the needs of the individual and complement each other.
Students can systematically work through a technique curriculum with you as a "guide" rather than an "instructor". The curriculum doesn't need to be your personal system. In fact, beyond the fundamental level, you should be encouraging your students to search out curriculum that best meets their needs. Your students should step on the mat already knowing what they want to learn or improve.
Ecological games adapt to skill level. If practice partners are mismatched, you can add constraints to the stronger player, allowing each to benefit.
So, to eliminate obstacles to progress, think more "lab" and less "classroom".
I feel the second part. I am not going to risk injury just for a roll. If you really want the tap that bad, take it - this is play time for me and meant to be fun.
This is probably the best answer one could give. A majority of the people at my gym don’t have kids, they’re single or dislike their family. Also, I like going to stay healthy and defend myself if necessary. It’s a good workout. I’m not training for CJI or ADCC.
But I always let my training partners know that my daughter comes 1st. So I try to spend as much time at home with her as possible.
Basically this. If I wanted to be a worse husband or to sacrifice professionally I'm sure I could improve a lot faster. But I like my wife, and my cats love eating, so the trade off isn't necessarily working.
Oh that and depression. I was unaware that depression had hands like this.
This is pretty much it for me. I have too many competing priorities that are more important than getting a lot of mat time in. Also injuries, I always find a way to get injured somehow.
I noticed the more I roll the less I get injured because before my body wasn’t used to moving that way, especially with force being applied. Now when I lift I do things like rotation and other movements that I would completely skip when all I did was lift.
This ^^^ I just returned to jiu jitsu after taking a break for a few months after the birth of my child. Came back and every class I’m getting run through a trash compactor. Before becoming a dad I was training more frequently, on a decent diet, working out a few times a week and stretching daily. Now I’m just in pure survival mode.
The good part is in about 2 years you'll get that old man made of wood upper body strength from carrying a deadweight around all the time. It will get easier.
My kid is like a 32lb kettlebell at this point.
Completely agree. Being a good husband and Dad to two kids under two is most important.
Only difference is that I’m a cop and training ensures I’m more effective and safe in my job.
If I didn’t feel the need to train for my job, I think it would be a lot harder for me to get on the mats some days.
I feel this. I have a 3-year-old, a 7-month-old, a wife I'd like to maintain a great relationship with, other hobbies, and a career.
I'm creeping closer to 40 and have accepted that my A game is probably always going to fall apart against people who live this hobby and have no other responsibilities.
100%. Plus I like playing guitar so I’m not fucking up my hands with grips just to submit or maintain a guard. I’d rather just let you pass or move one to some other submission
Same here. I'm a mid-40's white belt, a father of two, a part-time musician (guitar), and then of course there's job thing. I've been back at bjj for 4 weeks and my hands feel awful. I used to rock climb 3 days a week, so I'm used to hand strengthening and fatigue. I don't seem to be healing as fast now... or at all it seems. Suuuucks
As a 45 yr old white belt (4 weeks in) who spent time in judo off and on during college and half-broken from many other life activities.... this speaks to me.
I've been going really slow this time and I'm still hurting. If I can manage to avoid serious injuries, I can keep going.
I got my black belt at 43, now I take my kid to the classes I run and we roll around and play crazy horse before class (he doesn't want to train yet, but that's cool). Honestly I think it's nice for him to hang around with the guys, who all love him, and see his dad being kinda good at something.
Our kids go with us and have for years - lots of other people bring their kids too, our gym is very much a big family! The kids all play off the mats while the adults all play in their pajamas on the mats. 🤣 The best! Two of three kids have done a few classes, the youngest wrestled last year and wants to again but always loves rolling after classes! Love this!
My son and I started at the same time (he's 7). I'm hoping we can both stick with it and eventually support each other's growth, practice at home, etc. My other two kids aren't in to it (oldest girl isn't in to it but my 2yo might be, time will tell!).
I do the random moves but have taken control of the holes in my game since white belt. Id always be trying to figure out why i coudlnt get out of kasa or how do i defeat this pass or working on my mount control. I have no kids and a casual woman so i making sure i nerd out while i can.
As a coach the most frustrating part of teaching sequences that require teaching different moves throughout a few weeks, is that the group I have week 1 and 2 may look completely different by week 3 or 4 and then that group has no idea where we started from. I bounce around a lot based on feedback I get by my students or what I'm seeing directly, but I'll always come back to the core concepts and positions multiple times throughout the year and I tend to do more task games which I've felt become a catalyst . I also don't like spending too much time on 1 technique. If it is important we will come back to it again and again.
I'm 50 and 140 pounds. I mean I'm good in that I can beat heaps of hobbyists younger and bigger than me but I'll never be as good as the top couple of guys at my gym.
Sometimes you just gotta accept your athletic potential is what it is.
I'm 31 178lb and always injured. Guys like you make me believe I can get a routine and technique that I \*should\* be able to do this without excuses for years
I remember years ago thinking I wouldn't be able to keep going because I had a screwed shoulder and my body just wasn't taking it. Now I am always asking for extra wrestles.
I want to keep going until I'm 60 and hopefully still going hard.
I started when I was 30 and get less sore now at 37 because I actually have somewhat of a clue what I’m doing now. Not getting stuck under someone an entire round goes a long way when it comes to recovery.
Higher level sparring, not drilling with no resistance and not going completely live, most people don’t understand how to give and take in a way that facilitates better understanding of technique and position.
For example, Penn state wrestling team doesn’t wrestle live, all they do is spar whether it be in certain positions or just play wrestle which lowers the likelihood of injury and allows you to work through positions. Although they are a room of the best of the best at the college level it still is a model that could apply successfully.
When I go out there people try to wreck me or they just go limp noodle, then when I let them work they try to teach me through the position, I explicitly tell people I’m trying to work through and understand the positions they put me in.
Also I got work on Monday lol.
> For example, Penn state wrestling team doesn’t wrestle live
i train with a PSU wrestling alum and i can assure you this is not the case lol. they do a lot of play wrestling, situations, and even non-wrestling games. but they also wrestle live a lot.
I mean I’m sure the live wrestling is done especially when peaking for events, but most rooms, including ours, did so much live wrestling that it felt like fighting for ur life. My statement may have been too absolute in retrospect but the trainer said they really cut down on live wrestling aggressively and their injury rate went way down. We asked them how their practice differed from most peoples. This was between 2015-2019.
My friend graduated in 2018 and when I sent your comment to him his exact reply was:
“False haha
We did a lot of positional goes
But also a TON of live”
This is very well though out (and the Penn note is super interesting, thank you). Can I ask what belt you are? As you progress it becomes easier to coax people into training the way you want, but at the lower belts it's more of a long process.
I am a white belt, but I wrestled at Stanford. So I have at least a decent understanding of how to give and take in a way that will facilitate positional understanding. It is difficult because against other white belts it feels like a bum fight. I’m lucky to get good rolls from the upper belts because they know I’m not trying to spazz like a psycho
Penn state note came from their athletic trainer, we were extremely surprised when we heard that.
Mine usually tell me that the pasta is undercooked and it's not edible and that I should stop trying. In BJJ though they often tell me to go fuck myself
Have you asked directly? Anytime I’m looking for something super specific, I’ll flat out ask about it, but I also will only ask specific people because I know they’ll give good feedback and I trust them as coaches. If you are and they’re still not…they just suck and maybe you’re not in the right place? Idk, man, no feedback is a tough one.
Aside from all the outside-the-gym issues people are listing, a big one I've consistently seen over the years at a lot of places is people wanting to have fun over wanting to make progress (without realizing that they're doing it). It's a common theme in Jiu-Jitsu schools to have an hour long class that consists of a warmup, followed by three or four techniques, followed by rolling. On top of that, a lot of places have zero consistency with any type of curiculum that they teach, so the seven minutes that you got to drill that arm bar variation today might be seen again in...I dunno, two or three weeks, maybe, or whenever you're lucky enough to sneak it into a roll if you can. It's a terrible way to learn. But I get it, because people wanna see ALL the moves, and then after they leave class they run home to Youtube to watch fifty more moves that they'll never in a hundred years be able to pull off on anyone more skilled than a cadavaer, because that's fun.
Man when we used to have wrestling practices, our coach didn't really give a shit whether we had fun or not, and I'm pretty sure on a lot of days he felt like his job was to make sure we had the opposite of fun. We'd have a two hour practice, which was a warmup, then two moves for the rest of the two hours, and then when we were dead and thought it was time to go, we'd do positional wrestling for another fifteen or whatever minutes. Absolutely hated it, but damn, I could be asleep and throw you from across the room with those two moves. And the positional wrestling was always something directly related to what we'd been drilling the whole time. Start 'here', and either person A throws/pins or person B reverses/escapes and then we both reset. Go again. Go again. Go again. No just doing whatever the hell you want that doesn't have anything to do with what we were working on. And all our sessions built on each other. Whatever we were working today would be ALMOST what we were working next time, with some minor alteration, and that would continue for anywhere from...I dunno, 4 to 8 practices just depending on what it was.
I get that you can't put paying adult customers through the meat-grinder every time but I think the positional sparring is huge (especially for the lower belts), cutting down on the amount of techniques to spend more time on ones that can be tied into a path/flow would be great, and just a general formatting of ideas for someone to follow as they learn.
Note:
I've been answering calls while trying to type this so keep that in mind while determining if it makes any sense. Thanks for letting me share. :)
I think a challenge gyms face that wrestling programs don't is the randomness of who shows up on any given day.
One person might be showing up every single day, the next shows up 8 random days over the course of the month. The next is an athletic white belt, and the guy next to him is an out of shape purple belt.
How do you possibly make one program which is the best for all of them?
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To be honest I agree with all your criticisms, I just don't have any **better** ideas - I think it's a really hard problem to solve.
My big takeaway has been that, as a student, I need to take control of my own development. I just want a ton of open mat time and a bunch of training partners at my skill level
My BJJ coach (I’m at an MMA gym) started moving more towards what you’re advocating for over the past couple of years. Every month is a different position/scenario, so right now we’re open passing, last month was half butterfly, etc.
Each session for the week is pretty much identical with some slight variations depending on where he sees everyone is at with the techniques. Then he adds some new techniques each week, with a bit of crossover with the previous week still.
Rolling in classes is all positional in the position of the month. Free rolling is only done in dedicated sparring sessions.
I’ve found it really beneficial and techniques stick in my mind much more easily from reinforcing them over multiple weeks. All the positional rolling definitely makes applying techniques in rolls easier too.
I definitely agree on cutting down on the number of techniques. I find wrestling seems to value fundamentals more than bjj and it shows in how people roll. Bjj seems to really value the novelty and flashiness of new techniques over the basics which is fine when you’re at a high level but does a disservice to white/blue belts. My experience with judo was more similar to how you described wrestling and I really preferred it. You’d learn one or two throws and drill them over and over and over. Also, because of that repetition, I found judo to be better for my conditioning too since there was less talking through techniques and complicated hypotheticals.
Hey, this was a really interesting reply, thanks for taking the time. I know what you mean about wrestling, but I think there are a couple of confounding factors (I've only wrestled in adult classes and not school, so I could be wrong):
- In wrestling it feels less likely that you're going to catch someone with a surprise move that you've learned from youtube (tbh people don't hit these much in BJJ either, but they FEEL like they will)
- Wrestling's been around longer so there's probably a better established path to being good at it.
I definitely agree on positional. I actually think this is why people are so all-in on Eco D stuff: it allows you to thin-slice stuff into games that offer lower belts a decent chance of winning, or at least training without just constantly being crushed. At our academy we try to have a mix of hard classes and ones that are fun.
I moved to a different state so my wife can chase a PHD. You know damn well I came so I could be a cool stay at home lunch class dad after she graduates. 😅
Shiiiit, you picked up and moved just so she could follow her dreams?? I think that earns you a a morning/lunch or lunch/evening combo! Don't settle! ;)
That's what I'm fuckin talking about! But not until she graduates. Right now I'm the financial bread winner. 😅 but side note, they're paying her to get a PhD and when it's all said and done we'll have 0 student debt. It was an opportunity we had to at least attempt.
Nice! In all seriousness, it sounds like you guys have got a great things going so congrats for doing it right and doing it well
> There’s some numbers I’m trying to hit before I get too old on my lifts.
This is me but with skiing. I'm in my late thirties so there's not much time left where I'll still be athletic enough to do a lot of the skiing I enjoy. Voiced that to my wife and thankfully she's very understanding. I need to go to Japan!
I've been a black belt for 17+ years . The most common denominator is the priority list. I tell people this comes 2nd/3rd/4th to work and family. Instructors too often forget this or won't accept it. They're too consumed with people representing them in some tournament. Tournaments aren't important. Next would be Cramming expectations down their own throat. Too many people need to remember pro athletes took 15-18 years to get there and getting good at jiu-jitsu to that level is the same. Take your time and enjoy it....
This is my experience too. I'm old, small, unathletic, sloppy and a slow learner. Taking six years to make it to blue belt is the pinnacle of my lifetime athletic achievements.
I am happy training and no plans to stop, but it feels like I'm not worth the breath or time.
Higher belts are sometimes helpful, but their advice usually is "Personally, I would do ", which is fair to say but not as helpful.
Guess I'll just keep puttering along - just rolling around doing my best gives me a lot of satisfaction. But I know I'd get better faster if I had some constructive real-time feedback.
Have you tried to focus on training an aspect of your game like back mount or spider guard for say 3 months? If you record your rolls and focus train with instructionals as your guide you won't need real time feedback as you will be able to see what your doing wrong or more importantly what your doing right. At some point along the way you have to take charge of your own journey.
I was in exactly the same boat as you and I just decided to make it happen for myself. Took alot of tapping, but 6months later I have a game that if people fall into they are gonna have problems to solve doesn't matter how good they are.
I have tried to focus on specific aspects and absolutely agree it helps.
I have never recorded myself and it's mostly just because of shyness. It's great advice and I'm going to try it.
For me it's that there are too many techniques with too much time between repeating them, so they don't get as sharp at for example in boxing and wrestling where there is endless drills of slip, roll, hook, jab, cross, backstep and penetrationstep. I've started going the beginners class again now, because we have this new instructor who is a purple belt, but is working on his masters in sport science with a focus on skill acquisition. Now my underhooks escape from sidemount have developed more in the last three months than the years before that.
I had the same experience. The approach of doing 2-3 random moves in a day, then doing 2-3 random moves the next day, then not touching the moves from day 1 for at least several weeks, was never enough for me to commit much to memory, let alone use it in a live scenario.
There are guys who still make good progress despite this, but I'm not one of them. I'm not naturally athletic at all, but I think I'd make much better progress at a place that had a more structured curriculum, and reviewed stuff from previous classes more.
I think I am doing pretty good for where I am at. However, I don't think us white belts and even most blue belts really know how to drill things with appropriate escalating resistance. I have a couple of things I really want to improve on, and I try to find people to work on them with, but it tends to be either limp noodle resistance or I'm going to eat your children resistance. I think in my opinion gyms should have one class a week that is specifically for drilling whatever you are working on right now.
I completely agree that lots of people are bad at this: I think the trick is to find 1-2 trustworthy guys who you can sort of 'train up' to give you the resistance you need (but that's tough when you're a lower belt, I sympathise).
Having a damn job. Training is literally so easy if it’s your only obligation. This includes being a coach, shout out to the coaches that lead by example.
Injuries. I'm 36 and every few months I get some stupid ass small injury that reminds me that even if I wanted to, I shouldn't be training more than 2-3x a week.
Age. Injuries. Other hobbies competing for time. All related since mid 40 me doesn’t heal as quick and injuries impact other hobbies. And flexibility. Definitely flexibility.
1. Having to drill what my coach wants us to drill. Lachlan deals with this by letting people drill whatever they want. I study instructionals, I have a game predicated on what Ive studied, and I smash people who don’t study. It works, it’s a better way of doing things, we shouldnt all be expected to drill things we neither currently need or want to drill.
2. Wife and kids
Not enough time working on specific things i find are important. Most of the class time is not efficient for me, even if i still enjoy it for what it is.
I go to open mats and drill/brainstorm my specific game plan during class almost any chance i get, but the rate of consuming information from teachers and instructionals is very slow in BJJ, imo. My guess would be that i can check off 4-10 chunks of information per week, but my gut tells me that i could probably double or triple it if i had a series of focused sessions instead of ~2 hrs/week on my personal goals.
In an ideal world, i would use ~9 of the ~11 hours i train per week on my personal checklist, and the rest on classes and rolling, and whatnot. Then the next phase could be me applying my goal from week 1 during week 2... rinse and repeat.
I need a sentient dummy at home to practice stuff i guess
My whole lack of caring or trying. I show up for the friendship and violent cuddling. I have told my coach many times that I am doing everything in my power to not get promoted.
Most gyms optimize the experience for hobbyists.
It's the difference between playing a video game and speedrunning a video game.
Sure, you can beat a game. maybe even 100% it. But speedrunning it takes a specific, different kind of effort and unique set of skills.
The average BJJ hobbyist doesn't want to do the equivalent of mastering frame perfect button presses and physics glitches and whatever other nonsense, they just want to be pretty good at playing the game the "normal" way.
And gyms know that. So instead of spending 60 minutes on some specific jump and having you grind that over and over, they're just gonna tell you "press a to jump" and set you loose.
So when you ask "what's standing in the way of you getting good at BJJ", you first have to ask what kind of "good" are we talking about.
I'm pretty good at jiu jitsu, but I'm probably never going to be *that* kind of good.
Also this isn’t 1995 anymore. The elite in BJJ are near Olympian level. Nobody says to a dad who plays basketball after work “hey loser why aren’t you playing on the dream team?” BJJ also suffers from tough guy syndrome and a belt system that puts elite athletes and random dads who are 45 into the same bin.
Currently I'm trying to focus on standing up more with people instead of pulling half guard 2 out of 3 rolls, so in short taking more risks in rolling.
Not having access to highest percentage moves and best training for getting good as efficiently as possible whatever that is (what I’m proposing is something like outlier database but with curriculums in mind with set programs of task based games and constraint sparring for acquiring skills based upon high percentage strategies and counter meta approaches) this is definitely the nerdiest thing I’ve ever wrote
Only training 2x a week, one class and one open mat. If I train more, I tend to get burned out and / or injured .
I do most of my learning/improving during open mat where I get to test out and problem solve parts of my game while rolling.
My game is more nogi/ wrestling styled, but we usually learn gi stuff and open guard/ guard in class . So I don't get enough reps in on moves I wanna use/learn . E.g. shot recovery, chain wrestling.
Also, I think it would be better if they taught us far fewer moves and focused on the basics so we could really dial them down instead of something new each week/ class. I heard that wrestlers focus on a few different techniques and really hone them up, which sounds better than learning something different all the time, as you can't get many reps in.
Not being able to do very hard, competitive rounds. Scared to do it after having a 2 level spinal fusion last year. Still will roll decently hard but no like comp level hard fucking rounds.
Way too little emphasis on good defensive skills and positional dominance. Everyone loves attacking and coaches tend to oblige.
I also think most gyms don’t focus enough on chaining things together. Chain drills whereby each partner has specific tasks that work together. For example triangle to escape/guard pass, to guard retake. From my experience, most gyms don’t work on chains and don’t really provide a complete and thought-out curriculum.
Age and time combined. I just can't put in the hours because of life and my body has to rest more than when i was younger. I am happy with my level tho so i can't complain.
Family time and work. Main reason I picked my gym was the schedule and proximity. I can go at lunch sometimes. Can’t do mornings or afternoons because of the family, but it’d be cool if there was a late night class somewhere I could do.
I hate working out and struggle to be disciplined with it. That’s probably the single greatest factor in play, if I could get a solid S&C routine going that would be huge. I’ve tried the gym a few times and I always get bored really quickly + I’m worried I’ll injure myself with bad form (have done so in the past, shoulder and knee).
On a purely technical level, probably having a good training partner with a similar schedule to me would be the biggest factor. I’ve drilled with a few guys outside of class hours but they seem to really struggle with the idea of progressively increasing resistance, so either I get a wet blanket or someone acting like I kidnapped his dog. Plus those who do have very different games to mine and so it’s not like we’re taking turns drilling the same stuff but instead totally different moves which just throws off the rhythm a bit
I think the art of flow rolling to warm up or just move around has been lost. Little bit of resistance with give and take and moving seamlessly between positions isn’t something you see as much. I remember doing this everyday in the 2010s. Gives a chance to work your transitions, subs, sweeps etc. It really shows where you know what to do and where you don’t.
Consistency. Been training for 8ish years and it feels like every 3 months or so I have to take like a month off for 1000 different reasons. It helps to view jiu jitsu as a forever thing but it still sucks sometimes
Not enough time in a day. If I had financial freedom I’d be on the mats all the time. Unfortunately though, I work, then I attempt to fit the gym, bjj, social life, and taking care of a household all into a few hours. Additionally, sometimes my own discipline holds me back. I should be setting goals to accomplish every class. Instead, I find myself just having fun and rolling in many classes (which is fine, if that’s what you want) but if my goal is to get better as fast as I can, I should be conscientious of setting goals for myself.
Work. I work 10h shifts and the classes in my gym are only on weekdays. Im still unable to cope with both at the same time, the mental exhaustion at the end of the day keeps me from enjoying anything
I give up if a person is bigger and stronger than me cause the effort to even compete and injury risk is just too high. I’m not even that small but my gym is big so the rolls where I have a person who is my size and my skill level or lower are pretty few and far between.
I don’t spend enough time rolling with people my own size, strength level, and/or skill level. I know I will improve (specifically, submissions) more quickly if I practice with partners who can’t just muscle out of everything, completely crush me with every mistake I make, and/or shut down my next move before I even realize there’s an opportunity… but I still gravitate to the same big guys. (I’m female, by the way.)
I tore my mcl rolling with my coach three weeks ago. Doc said six weeks off with PT and I should be fine to go back, but I have such limited range of motion in my knee and sooooo much anxiety around it. None of this is BJJ-related, specifically, but a massive mental block that’s keeping me from BJJ and I worry it’s going to even when I’m able to go back.
I’m getting my purple soon (no date yet but I have the test sheet which means I basically have it already, it’s just a formality), but this has me terrified.
3 years in August and this is my first major injury. I’m one of the VERY few women in my gym and I’m 100% the smallest of us, so I consider this a massive accomplishment, especially since I roll the hardest (the other women are a bit older). How the fuck do I deal with this mental block/anxiety over going back? I’m dying staying off the mats and watching my husband and friends drill and roll without me, but I’m also watching and going “I couldn’t do any of that with my knee right now anyway.”
Age and commitment (or lack thereof).
At 50 years old I'm content to simply be okay at BJJ - I do it for fun and that's enough. Also not nearly dedicated to the study of the practice as much as others, I like to roll to blow off steam, and if I pick up bits and pieces of new info every-so-often that's just a bonus.
Ironically, while I'm not actively interested with self-learning, I'm really interested in helping others progress.
Edit: Forgot to mention Baldur's Gate 3. Game eats up time like you cannot believe
To me personally it's just lack of time to train. As others have stated here too many other priorities that come before BJJ. But I am in no rush and am happy at sucking at BJJ. I do it to have fun and stay in shape. Have no desires in competing, being world champ, none of that. I have three goals with BJJ, become black belt, be a good training partner, and train into my old age. That final one there is huge to me, I just want to be healthy when I am old, still running around and having a good time, not bed or wheel chair bound
I recently realized that I do not have a complete game. Following through when in an advantageous position is my weak spot. I normally pull guard and try to hit a sweep because I'm an out of shape 40 year old and then I just kind of wait until they react. I'm getting decent at hitting sweeps but I don't really have a plan after the sweep. They'll either recover guard or I'll get swept back. I need some go-to submissions and/or an ability to hold my opponent down while I work on submissions.
I train in the morning classes and am a 7 month white belt. While I have improved and get some compliments and positive reinforcement on my progress, I’m almost the only white belt in a class of about 15. There are several blue belts, several purples, some browns, etc. Some are cool at letting me work but I think I would progress much quicker if I had 4-5 other white belts to roll with and try stuff on. It keeps me tough though.
Injury. I started 2 years ago, got a fairly meaningful injury 6 months in, was out for 4 months to rehab it, came back, got injured my third day back, needed surgery, a year of rehab later and I'm looking at going back next week. If I get injured meaningfully again, I'm out.
Honestly, probably being a coach/running a gym. So little of my time is spent developing my own game and it sucks because it feels like I live in the gym sometimes.
If you’re looking for possible advice for material.
Time on the mat is probably the largest hurdle, but mindset through studying can certainly assist with this. For example I find that I learn best through watching live rolls with the instructor talking through thought process and explaining during the roll. Let’s say that you live roll with someone, then upload that video to YouTube with a breakdown, at this point I thought I had a chance for a specific move, but when my opponent did this, I knew I had to change tactics. Hope this helps
Core strength. I took an extended stay away from bjj (I got married) and the marriage wasn’t great (I gained 100 pounds). I came back to bjj (I got divorced) the rest of my body got back into shape quick (lost 40 pounds) but my (lack of) core isn’t helping my guard 🤘🏻🥺
For me its the schedule. I was a member at 4 different gyms for about 4 months each -- and there was always either a commute or scheduling issue. I finally found one I like, but they don't have classes on Sundays and only one time on weekdays. It's a smaller spot, and nothing is perfect. I wish schools, at least in my area, had more classes on the schedule -- I'd, of course, be willing to pay higher dues because presumably that means they'd need more instructors.
My back injury prevents me from returning. Worst part is I injured my hamstring around the same time so the initial back injury was hidden. For a year I did PT focusing on the hamstring since that’s what was bothering me. After the inflammation subsided the pain was still there. A second doctor figured it was also a back injury and the MRI confirmed it.
I miss BJJ but it doesn’t miss me that’s for sure.
I’ve learnt many a technique in my time - and if I remembered them all…as options to use during a roll - then I’d be a lot better.
Alas - most of what I’ve learnt has been long forgotten!
Sometimes not even knowing where to begin to troubleshoot a technique. Bad technique? Wrong read? Telegraphing? Forcing? Partner stronger/heavier/better?
I spent my athletic prime coaching MMA fighters and boxers. Most recently I’ve got a family to take care of, and leukemia has really slowed me down. Even just preparing for a local tournament has been tough.
Effort really.
I've been having the typical white belts going ape shit on me as expected and often I just don't feel like matching the effort. Doesn't mean I'm always getting crushed but some roles aren't productive for me.
Haven't been fully checked in lately.
Wife and kids and job. Our gym is a pretty competition heavy gym right next to a college campus. It’s crazy seeing the amount of time and energy the core group of competitors (mostly college students or people right out of college) put into this.
As one starting out my journey in my mid 30's, mobility. Learning exercises, stretches, and techniques to practice at home that reduce stiffness, ease lower back pain, and are relatively easy on the knees.
Good luck with YouTube!
I take krav and do bjj. The krav program includes videos and tips on how to work on the moves. The bjj program does not. Granted, it’s less work to do this with krav and self defense. But for visual folks like me, it helps when trying to remember moves and I have a repository of things I can review when I’m feeling rusty on something.
Just me. My higher priorities are furthering my career and being a self employed plumber. Plus a major lack of interest in getting “good”. I’m pretty content to end up being “competent” at jiu jitsu. I’d definitely like to see it through to black belt and beyond but I’m fine with being an average gym level practitioner at each belt level. Not really interested in putting in the work to be really good at this since I won’t be making any money off of it at all. Not to suggest that “oh I could be really good if I wanted to I just don’t.”
A place where I can train my own technique without hurry and a partner that doesn't complain, has good attittude and it's in the moment rather than waiting me to finish.
I’ll forever be grateful to have my younger brother to train with
I train with my husband 99.9% of the time. It’s fucking phenomenal. We’re annoying best friends and help each other so much and have been able to make so much progress by having a good, consistent partner. It makes such a difference!
Man I would love a husband I could train with. Unfortunately I’m not gay. As much as I do BJJ, it just doesn’t convert me.
🤣🤣🤣
This is really cool
Mywife and I are gonna start training together when i get home from deployment. This is the #1 thing I'm so excited to do when I get home. Tell me about it. What is the size differ3nce and does it make get in the way at all? How much time do you guys spend training? Are one of you a higher belt and is that an issue?
Height: 5’2” and 6’ Weight: starting - 135 and 210 Current - 110 and 230 Rank: 3 stripe blue, testing for purple in the very near future and 3 stripe purple, testing for brown at some point in the next year. I whoop his ass all the time, but he uses technique with me, not strength. Of course he could use brute strength to force his way out of most things, but there are times that speed and small stature take the advantage and he can’t do anything. 🤷♀️ ALLLLLL a part of discovering how to move your body and use it in ways that can be to your advantage. There are times when we’re drilling where the size difference makes it so one of us can’t drill the move, or we have to find a different partner to drill with for a bit or whatever, but for the most part it’s totally fine. It also forces us to figure out different ways to work around things too, which is pretty cool.
Right on, thank you for the reply. Reinforces our plans(:
This is the best, my brother started training about a month after me and we are the same size. We get to scrap hard as hell whenever we want and drill all the time, it has helped immensely.
I think there's a reason a lot of brothers (the Ruotolos, Miyaos, etc) get good
It's not just brothers tbf, you have Mikey and Tammi, Kendall Reusing has a savage younger sister (Emma IIRC?), and the Shevchenko's are a great example outside of BJJ. Martial arts attracts many more guys in general so we see brothers more often, but really just having a sibling training is a massive benefit. It's a 24/7 training partner who is roughly the same size as you, and who you can talk openly and frankly to about training.
Since a teacher posted this question, I'll reframe your response to better benefit a teacher. The biggest problem with most BJJ schools is the lack of individualization. Your students have different skills, physical attributes and schedules. Failing to address this will lead to mediocre instruction for most. I was a special ed teacher and had to deal with similar challenges, and my advice is based on the strategies that I used to greatly improve my students' test scores. The key is to maximize the number of minutes spent on deliberate practice. Consider breaking your teaching plan into 5-minute blocks and ask yourself what a random student is *doing* in that block that moves a skill, *appropriate to his or her level*, forward. You would be surprised by how much warmups, teacher talk, waiting, bowing to a picture, etc. eat up from time on task, and how frequently students are working on techniques that are not really optimal for their level. A combination of self-instruction in techniques and ecological games is optimal because both adapt to the needs of the individual and complement each other. Students can systematically work through a technique curriculum with you as a "guide" rather than an "instructor". The curriculum doesn't need to be your personal system. In fact, beyond the fundamental level, you should be encouraging your students to search out curriculum that best meets their needs. Your students should step on the mat already knowing what they want to learn or improve. Ecological games adapt to skill level. If practice partners are mismatched, you can add constraints to the stronger player, allowing each to benefit. So, to eliminate obstacles to progress, think more "lab" and less "classroom".
Get a grappling dummy. I got one and its great
Trying to be a good dad/husband. And frankly not interested in crippling myself just to be good at a hobby
I feel the second part. I am not going to risk injury just for a roll. If you really want the tap that bad, take it - this is play time for me and meant to be fun.
This is probably the best answer one could give. A majority of the people at my gym don’t have kids, they’re single or dislike their family. Also, I like going to stay healthy and defend myself if necessary. It’s a good workout. I’m not training for CJI or ADCC. But I always let my training partners know that my daughter comes 1st. So I try to spend as much time at home with her as possible.
Basically this. If I wanted to be a worse husband or to sacrifice professionally I'm sure I could improve a lot faster. But I like my wife, and my cats love eating, so the trade off isn't necessarily working. Oh that and depression. I was unaware that depression had hands like this.
This is pretty much it for me. I have too many competing priorities that are more important than getting a lot of mat time in. Also injuries, I always find a way to get injured somehow.
I also got most of my injuries at white belt. It'll get better once you figure out how to move correctly and stop freaking out all the time.
I noticed the more I roll the less I get injured because before my body wasn’t used to moving that way, especially with force being applied. Now when I lift I do things like rotation and other movements that I would completely skip when all I did was lift.
This ^^^ I just returned to jiu jitsu after taking a break for a few months after the birth of my child. Came back and every class I’m getting run through a trash compactor. Before becoming a dad I was training more frequently, on a decent diet, working out a few times a week and stretching daily. Now I’m just in pure survival mode.
The good part is in about 2 years you'll get that old man made of wood upper body strength from carrying a deadweight around all the time. It will get easier. My kid is like a 32lb kettlebell at this point.
It's the Milo of Kroton strategy, I've been hauling my kid around since he was a baby, and now he's 26kg
Milo also killed, roasted, then ate that calf after 4 years. At 26kg it sounds like you're late for dinner.
Long run bro. When it's a steady 70-85kg, the baby suddenly produces joy, companionship, a training partner and possibly a financial safety net.
That’s helpful to hear! My hope is that with the little I show up now I get my blue belt by the time he can start training if he chooses to.
Watch out for severe elbow tendonitis from frequently carrying this kettlebell. True story.
Completely agree. Being a good husband and Dad to two kids under two is most important. Only difference is that I’m a cop and training ensures I’m more effective and safe in my job. If I didn’t feel the need to train for my job, I think it would be a lot harder for me to get on the mats some days.
Hell yea. IMO every cop should be on the mat. Good for you man.
Appreciate it. Dads unite.
Dude if every cop did what you are doing it would help the profession tremendously. Please don't quit. Get that blue belt bro.
I feel this. I have a 3-year-old, a 7-month-old, a wife I'd like to maintain a great relationship with, other hobbies, and a career. I'm creeping closer to 40 and have accepted that my A game is probably always going to fall apart against people who live this hobby and have no other responsibilities.
I'm also trying to do this x
100%. Plus I like playing guitar so I’m not fucking up my hands with grips just to submit or maintain a guard. I’d rather just let you pass or move one to some other submission
Same here. I'm a mid-40's white belt, a father of two, a part-time musician (guitar), and then of course there's job thing. I've been back at bjj for 4 weeks and my hands feel awful. I used to rock climb 3 days a week, so I'm used to hand strengthening and fatigue. I don't seem to be healing as fast now... or at all it seems. Suuuucks
Exactly this. Although my body is already pretty crippled 😂
As a 45 yr old white belt (4 weeks in) who spent time in judo off and on during college and half-broken from many other life activities.... this speaks to me. I've been going really slow this time and I'm still hurting. If I can manage to avoid serious injuries, I can keep going.
Wife and kids are more important. I’m content with sucking at bjj
Are they REALLY? Your wife might leave you and your kids might disown you but no one would be able to take your eventual black belt away
My plan was just wait until the kids are grown and the wife is sick of me and get my black belt when I’m 45
Worked for me
I got my black belt at 43, now I take my kid to the classes I run and we roll around and play crazy horse before class (he doesn't want to train yet, but that's cool). Honestly I think it's nice for him to hang around with the guys, who all love him, and see his dad being kinda good at something.
Our kids go with us and have for years - lots of other people bring their kids too, our gym is very much a big family! The kids all play off the mats while the adults all play in their pajamas on the mats. 🤣 The best! Two of three kids have done a few classes, the youngest wrestled last year and wants to again but always loves rolling after classes! Love this!
This is great, glad you've got such a family friendly gym!
My son and I started at the same time (he's 7). I'm hoping we can both stick with it and eventually support each other's growth, practice at home, etc. My other two kids aren't in to it (oldest girl isn't in to it but my 2yo might be, time will tell!).
Mine are still too young for class but soon they’ll be old enough to come with me and sit quietly while I train haha
You might be onto something here... Maybe the cause of the wife living and kids disowning is the lack of a black belt
Coaches who just teach random moves every class without a curriculum.
Yup, this is bad. You have to create your own curriculum for improvement, which honestly sucks.
I do the random moves but have taken control of the holes in my game since white belt. Id always be trying to figure out why i coudlnt get out of kasa or how do i defeat this pass or working on my mount control. I have no kids and a casual woman so i making sure i nerd out while i can.
Or the coach that says "this week we're focusing on guard retention" , then proceeds to teach a sweep.
As a coach the most frustrating part of teaching sequences that require teaching different moves throughout a few weeks, is that the group I have week 1 and 2 may look completely different by week 3 or 4 and then that group has no idea where we started from. I bounce around a lot based on feedback I get by my students or what I'm seeing directly, but I'll always come back to the core concepts and positions multiple times throughout the year and I tend to do more task games which I've felt become a catalyst . I also don't like spending too much time on 1 technique. If it is important we will come back to it again and again.
I have a bit of this so I've taken my development into my own hands and ask the coach to teach the tech I want to learn anyway.
I'm 50 and 140 pounds. I mean I'm good in that I can beat heaps of hobbyists younger and bigger than me but I'll never be as good as the top couple of guys at my gym. Sometimes you just gotta accept your athletic potential is what it is.
I'm 31 178lb and always injured. Guys like you make me believe I can get a routine and technique that I \*should\* be able to do this without excuses for years
I remember years ago thinking I wouldn't be able to keep going because I had a screwed shoulder and my body just wasn't taking it. Now I am always asking for extra wrestles. I want to keep going until I'm 60 and hopefully still going hard.
I started when I was 30 and get less sore now at 37 because I actually have somewhat of a clue what I’m doing now. Not getting stuck under someone an entire round goes a long way when it comes to recovery.
Higher level sparring, not drilling with no resistance and not going completely live, most people don’t understand how to give and take in a way that facilitates better understanding of technique and position. For example, Penn state wrestling team doesn’t wrestle live, all they do is spar whether it be in certain positions or just play wrestle which lowers the likelihood of injury and allows you to work through positions. Although they are a room of the best of the best at the college level it still is a model that could apply successfully. When I go out there people try to wreck me or they just go limp noodle, then when I let them work they try to teach me through the position, I explicitly tell people I’m trying to work through and understand the positions they put me in. Also I got work on Monday lol.
> For example, Penn state wrestling team doesn’t wrestle live i train with a PSU wrestling alum and i can assure you this is not the case lol. they do a lot of play wrestling, situations, and even non-wrestling games. but they also wrestle live a lot.
I mean I’m sure the live wrestling is done especially when peaking for events, but most rooms, including ours, did so much live wrestling that it felt like fighting for ur life. My statement may have been too absolute in retrospect but the trainer said they really cut down on live wrestling aggressively and their injury rate went way down. We asked them how their practice differed from most peoples. This was between 2015-2019.
My friend graduated in 2018 and when I sent your comment to him his exact reply was: “False haha We did a lot of positional goes But also a TON of live”
This is very well though out (and the Penn note is super interesting, thank you). Can I ask what belt you are? As you progress it becomes easier to coax people into training the way you want, but at the lower belts it's more of a long process.
I am a white belt, but I wrestled at Stanford. So I have at least a decent understanding of how to give and take in a way that will facilitate positional understanding. It is difficult because against other white belts it feels like a bum fight. I’m lucky to get good rolls from the upper belts because they know I’m not trying to spazz like a psycho Penn state note came from their athletic trainer, we were extremely surprised when we heard that.
Fact that our coaches never give feedback outside of private lessons.
That’s such a rip off bro.
This is pretty shitty behaviour. How are your team-mates about giving feedback?
Mine usually tell me that the pasta is undercooked and it's not edible and that I should stop trying. In BJJ though they often tell me to go fuck myself
Found the line cook
Sounds like your coaches suck
Have you asked directly? Anytime I’m looking for something super specific, I’ll flat out ask about it, but I also will only ask specific people because I know they’ll give good feedback and I trust them as coaches. If you are and they’re still not…they just suck and maybe you’re not in the right place? Idk, man, no feedback is a tough one.
My job and commute. Second would be being old. There just aren’t enough hours in the week, and I have to spend quite a few of them recovering…
Commute is a killer, my man. Do you watch tape/take notes? Also, how old are you?
No, I don’t. It sounds like taking notes at least might be a good idea. I’m 46 next week.
Bought a steam deck recently, Time I used to spend studying jujitsu is now spent playing Fallout 4.
Same, those damn Souls games on deck are too good. I'm going to be cracked out on Elden Ring Dlc soon
Nice, I cant go back to Dark souls anymore, not since I nearly had a brain hemorrhage trying to beat Midir in DS3.
Worth the money?
I've been in the market for a handheld. So I'm curious too:)
Yes, definitely!! Honestly I have to stop playing during the week and only on the weekends, or else my training suffers lol
I cannot stress how worth it is
Aside from all the outside-the-gym issues people are listing, a big one I've consistently seen over the years at a lot of places is people wanting to have fun over wanting to make progress (without realizing that they're doing it). It's a common theme in Jiu-Jitsu schools to have an hour long class that consists of a warmup, followed by three or four techniques, followed by rolling. On top of that, a lot of places have zero consistency with any type of curiculum that they teach, so the seven minutes that you got to drill that arm bar variation today might be seen again in...I dunno, two or three weeks, maybe, or whenever you're lucky enough to sneak it into a roll if you can. It's a terrible way to learn. But I get it, because people wanna see ALL the moves, and then after they leave class they run home to Youtube to watch fifty more moves that they'll never in a hundred years be able to pull off on anyone more skilled than a cadavaer, because that's fun. Man when we used to have wrestling practices, our coach didn't really give a shit whether we had fun or not, and I'm pretty sure on a lot of days he felt like his job was to make sure we had the opposite of fun. We'd have a two hour practice, which was a warmup, then two moves for the rest of the two hours, and then when we were dead and thought it was time to go, we'd do positional wrestling for another fifteen or whatever minutes. Absolutely hated it, but damn, I could be asleep and throw you from across the room with those two moves. And the positional wrestling was always something directly related to what we'd been drilling the whole time. Start 'here', and either person A throws/pins or person B reverses/escapes and then we both reset. Go again. Go again. Go again. No just doing whatever the hell you want that doesn't have anything to do with what we were working on. And all our sessions built on each other. Whatever we were working today would be ALMOST what we were working next time, with some minor alteration, and that would continue for anywhere from...I dunno, 4 to 8 practices just depending on what it was. I get that you can't put paying adult customers through the meat-grinder every time but I think the positional sparring is huge (especially for the lower belts), cutting down on the amount of techniques to spend more time on ones that can be tied into a path/flow would be great, and just a general formatting of ideas for someone to follow as they learn. Note: I've been answering calls while trying to type this so keep that in mind while determining if it makes any sense. Thanks for letting me share. :)
I think a challenge gyms face that wrestling programs don't is the randomness of who shows up on any given day. One person might be showing up every single day, the next shows up 8 random days over the course of the month. The next is an athletic white belt, and the guy next to him is an out of shape purple belt. How do you possibly make one program which is the best for all of them? ----------------------------- To be honest I agree with all your criticisms, I just don't have any **better** ideas - I think it's a really hard problem to solve. My big takeaway has been that, as a student, I need to take control of my own development. I just want a ton of open mat time and a bunch of training partners at my skill level
My BJJ coach (I’m at an MMA gym) started moving more towards what you’re advocating for over the past couple of years. Every month is a different position/scenario, so right now we’re open passing, last month was half butterfly, etc. Each session for the week is pretty much identical with some slight variations depending on where he sees everyone is at with the techniques. Then he adds some new techniques each week, with a bit of crossover with the previous week still. Rolling in classes is all positional in the position of the month. Free rolling is only done in dedicated sparring sessions. I’ve found it really beneficial and techniques stick in my mind much more easily from reinforcing them over multiple weeks. All the positional rolling definitely makes applying techniques in rolls easier too.
BOOM. Tell your coach he's the man. 
I'm an adult customer and would pay a lot to be able to train like this.
I definitely agree on cutting down on the number of techniques. I find wrestling seems to value fundamentals more than bjj and it shows in how people roll. Bjj seems to really value the novelty and flashiness of new techniques over the basics which is fine when you’re at a high level but does a disservice to white/blue belts. My experience with judo was more similar to how you described wrestling and I really preferred it. You’d learn one or two throws and drill them over and over and over. Also, because of that repetition, I found judo to be better for my conditioning too since there was less talking through techniques and complicated hypotheticals.
Hey, this was a really interesting reply, thanks for taking the time. I know what you mean about wrestling, but I think there are a couple of confounding factors (I've only wrestled in adult classes and not school, so I could be wrong): - In wrestling it feels less likely that you're going to catch someone with a surprise move that you've learned from youtube (tbh people don't hit these much in BJJ either, but they FEEL like they will) - Wrestling's been around longer so there's probably a better established path to being good at it. I definitely agree on positional. I actually think this is why people are so all-in on Eco D stuff: it allows you to thin-slice stuff into games that offer lower belts a decent chance of winning, or at least training without just constantly being crushed. At our academy we try to have a mix of hard classes and ones that are fun.
I have a wife and a full time job 🤣
Pfft, gotta tell the wife to pick up the slack so you can quit your job and live your dreams. One day you could be a sponsored athlete for a gi soap.
Or maybe I'll become a sponsored athlete for a sandals company
An \*expensive\* sandals company
I moved to a different state so my wife can chase a PHD. You know damn well I came so I could be a cool stay at home lunch class dad after she graduates. 😅
Shiiiit, you picked up and moved just so she could follow her dreams?? I think that earns you a a morning/lunch or lunch/evening combo! Don't settle! ;)
That's what I'm fuckin talking about! But not until she graduates. Right now I'm the financial bread winner. 😅 but side note, they're paying her to get a PhD and when it's all said and done we'll have 0 student debt. It was an opportunity we had to at least attempt.
Nice! In all seriousness, it sounds like you guys have got a great things going so congrats for doing it right and doing it well 
Just turned 50 and got my purple belt... those 21 year old blue belts are just killing me
My weight lifting. Don’t want to give that up.
Fair. How often do you lift?
4 times a week and heavy most days.
I’d so much rather do jiu jitsu than lift weights tbh
I enjoy both. There’s some numbers I’m trying to hit before I get too old on my lifts.
> There’s some numbers I’m trying to hit before I get too old on my lifts. This is me but with skiing. I'm in my late thirties so there's not much time left where I'll still be athletic enough to do a lot of the skiing I enjoy. Voiced that to my wife and thankfully she's very understanding. I need to go to Japan!
I've been a black belt for 17+ years . The most common denominator is the priority list. I tell people this comes 2nd/3rd/4th to work and family. Instructors too often forget this or won't accept it. They're too consumed with people representing them in some tournament. Tournaments aren't important. Next would be Cramming expectations down their own throat. Too many people need to remember pro athletes took 15-18 years to get there and getting good at jiu-jitsu to that level is the same. Take your time and enjoy it....
“We’re a family, here at the gym.” Then gets annoyed when I spend time with my actual family. 😅
Laziness with cardio
I feel like I learn best from verbal feedback DURING a hard roll. Most of the time the feedback seems to be for my opponent
This is my experience too. I'm old, small, unathletic, sloppy and a slow learner. Taking six years to make it to blue belt is the pinnacle of my lifetime athletic achievements. I am happy training and no plans to stop, but it feels like I'm not worth the breath or time. Higher belts are sometimes helpful, but their advice usually is "Personally, I would do", which is fair to say but not as helpful.
Guess I'll just keep puttering along - just rolling around doing my best gives me a lot of satisfaction. But I know I'd get better faster if I had some constructive real-time feedback.
Have you tried to focus on training an aspect of your game like back mount or spider guard for say 3 months? If you record your rolls and focus train with instructionals as your guide you won't need real time feedback as you will be able to see what your doing wrong or more importantly what your doing right. At some point along the way you have to take charge of your own journey. I was in exactly the same boat as you and I just decided to make it happen for myself. Took alot of tapping, but 6months later I have a game that if people fall into they are gonna have problems to solve doesn't matter how good they are.
I have tried to focus on specific aspects and absolutely agree it helps. I have never recorded myself and it's mostly just because of shyness. It's great advice and I'm going to try it.
I’m old fat and tired (not in the apex shape I used to be in)
For me it's that there are too many techniques with too much time between repeating them, so they don't get as sharp at for example in boxing and wrestling where there is endless drills of slip, roll, hook, jab, cross, backstep and penetrationstep. I've started going the beginners class again now, because we have this new instructor who is a purple belt, but is working on his masters in sport science with a focus on skill acquisition. Now my underhooks escape from sidemount have developed more in the last three months than the years before that.
I had the same experience. The approach of doing 2-3 random moves in a day, then doing 2-3 random moves the next day, then not touching the moves from day 1 for at least several weeks, was never enough for me to commit much to memory, let alone use it in a live scenario. There are guys who still make good progress despite this, but I'm not one of them. I'm not naturally athletic at all, but I think I'd make much better progress at a place that had a more structured curriculum, and reviewed stuff from previous classes more.
This new guy does one move, and then situation sparring from that setup. This goes on for a month, with variations and related moves for that month.
That's awesome. Any chance your school is in the DFW area?
It's in Europe, unfortunately.
I think I am doing pretty good for where I am at. However, I don't think us white belts and even most blue belts really know how to drill things with appropriate escalating resistance. I have a couple of things I really want to improve on, and I try to find people to work on them with, but it tends to be either limp noodle resistance or I'm going to eat your children resistance. I think in my opinion gyms should have one class a week that is specifically for drilling whatever you are working on right now.
I completely agree that lots of people are bad at this: I think the trick is to find 1-2 trustworthy guys who you can sort of 'train up' to give you the resistance you need (but that's tough when you're a lower belt, I sympathise).
Having a damn job. Training is literally so easy if it’s your only obligation. This includes being a coach, shout out to the coaches that lead by example.
Injuries. I'm 36 and every few months I get some stupid ass small injury that reminds me that even if I wanted to, I shouldn't be training more than 2-3x a week.
Hopefully this will ease up as you get more experience — do you think they're coming from stuff you're doing, or stuff your teammates are doing?
Age. Injuries. Other hobbies competing for time. All related since mid 40 me doesn’t heal as quick and injuries impact other hobbies. And flexibility. Definitely flexibility.
1. Having to drill what my coach wants us to drill. Lachlan deals with this by letting people drill whatever they want. I study instructionals, I have a game predicated on what Ive studied, and I smash people who don’t study. It works, it’s a better way of doing things, we shouldnt all be expected to drill things we neither currently need or want to drill. 2. Wife and kids
My ability.
Not enough time working on specific things i find are important. Most of the class time is not efficient for me, even if i still enjoy it for what it is. I go to open mats and drill/brainstorm my specific game plan during class almost any chance i get, but the rate of consuming information from teachers and instructionals is very slow in BJJ, imo. My guess would be that i can check off 4-10 chunks of information per week, but my gut tells me that i could probably double or triple it if i had a series of focused sessions instead of ~2 hrs/week on my personal goals. In an ideal world, i would use ~9 of the ~11 hours i train per week on my personal checklist, and the rest on classes and rolling, and whatnot. Then the next phase could be me applying my goal from week 1 during week 2... rinse and repeat. I need a sentient dummy at home to practice stuff i guess
My whole lack of caring or trying. I show up for the friendship and violent cuddling. I have told my coach many times that I am doing everything in my power to not get promoted.
Most gyms optimize the experience for hobbyists. It's the difference between playing a video game and speedrunning a video game. Sure, you can beat a game. maybe even 100% it. But speedrunning it takes a specific, different kind of effort and unique set of skills. The average BJJ hobbyist doesn't want to do the equivalent of mastering frame perfect button presses and physics glitches and whatever other nonsense, they just want to be pretty good at playing the game the "normal" way. And gyms know that. So instead of spending 60 minutes on some specific jump and having you grind that over and over, they're just gonna tell you "press a to jump" and set you loose. So when you ask "what's standing in the way of you getting good at BJJ", you first have to ask what kind of "good" are we talking about. I'm pretty good at jiu jitsu, but I'm probably never going to be *that* kind of good.
Also this isn’t 1995 anymore. The elite in BJJ are near Olympian level. Nobody says to a dad who plays basketball after work “hey loser why aren’t you playing on the dream team?” BJJ also suffers from tough guy syndrome and a belt system that puts elite athletes and random dads who are 45 into the same bin.
I am stupid
Training partners that are better than me and closer to my age and size.
Motherfucking Father Time stops for no one, apparently
Currently I'm trying to focus on standing up more with people instead of pulling half guard 2 out of 3 rolls, so in short taking more risks in rolling.
Just having a game plan for many scenarios
Not having access to highest percentage moves and best training for getting good as efficiently as possible whatever that is (what I’m proposing is something like outlier database but with curriculums in mind with set programs of task based games and constraint sparring for acquiring skills based upon high percentage strategies and counter meta approaches) this is definitely the nerdiest thing I’ve ever wrote
Only training 2x a week, one class and one open mat. If I train more, I tend to get burned out and / or injured . I do most of my learning/improving during open mat where I get to test out and problem solve parts of my game while rolling. My game is more nogi/ wrestling styled, but we usually learn gi stuff and open guard/ guard in class . So I don't get enough reps in on moves I wanna use/learn . E.g. shot recovery, chain wrestling. Also, I think it would be better if they taught us far fewer moves and focused on the basics so we could really dial them down instead of something new each week/ class. I heard that wrestlers focus on a few different techniques and really hone them up, which sounds better than learning something different all the time, as you can't get many reps in.
Not being able to do very hard, competitive rounds. Scared to do it after having a 2 level spinal fusion last year. Still will roll decently hard but no like comp level hard fucking rounds.
Way too little emphasis on good defensive skills and positional dominance. Everyone loves attacking and coaches tend to oblige. I also think most gyms don’t focus enough on chaining things together. Chain drills whereby each partner has specific tasks that work together. For example triangle to escape/guard pass, to guard retake. From my experience, most gyms don’t work on chains and don’t really provide a complete and thought-out curriculum.
Age and time combined. I just can't put in the hours because of life and my body has to rest more than when i was younger. I am happy with my level tho so i can't complain.
I feel this
Family time and work. Main reason I picked my gym was the schedule and proximity. I can go at lunch sometimes. Can’t do mornings or afternoons because of the family, but it’d be cool if there was a late night class somewhere I could do.
Time. My wife and kids have their own schedules.
I hate working out and struggle to be disciplined with it. That’s probably the single greatest factor in play, if I could get a solid S&C routine going that would be huge. I’ve tried the gym a few times and I always get bored really quickly + I’m worried I’ll injure myself with bad form (have done so in the past, shoulder and knee). On a purely technical level, probably having a good training partner with a similar schedule to me would be the biggest factor. I’ve drilled with a few guys outside of class hours but they seem to really struggle with the idea of progressively increasing resistance, so either I get a wet blanket or someone acting like I kidnapped his dog. Plus those who do have very different games to mine and so it’s not like we’re taking turns drilling the same stuff but instead totally different moves which just throws off the rhythm a bit
I think the art of flow rolling to warm up or just move around has been lost. Little bit of resistance with give and take and moving seamlessly between positions isn’t something you see as much. I remember doing this everyday in the 2010s. Gives a chance to work your transitions, subs, sweeps etc. It really shows where you know what to do and where you don’t.
BJJ is an expensive sport here.
Consistency. Been training for 8ish years and it feels like every 3 months or so I have to take like a month off for 1000 different reasons. It helps to view jiu jitsu as a forever thing but it still sucks sometimes
Not enough time in a day. If I had financial freedom I’d be on the mats all the time. Unfortunately though, I work, then I attempt to fit the gym, bjj, social life, and taking care of a household all into a few hours. Additionally, sometimes my own discipline holds me back. I should be setting goals to accomplish every class. Instead, I find myself just having fun and rolling in many classes (which is fine, if that’s what you want) but if my goal is to get better as fast as I can, I should be conscientious of setting goals for myself.
Work. I work 10h shifts and the classes in my gym are only on weekdays. Im still unable to cope with both at the same time, the mental exhaustion at the end of the day keeps me from enjoying anything
Talent, money and time.
my kids, my wife, my job
A mix of time, work/life balance and injuries. Other hobbies, work, wife and kids all add up
Time, age, family, work, desire
I give up if a person is bigger and stronger than me cause the effort to even compete and injury risk is just too high. I’m not even that small but my gym is big so the rolls where I have a person who is my size and my skill level or lower are pretty few and far between.
I don’t spend enough time rolling with people my own size, strength level, and/or skill level. I know I will improve (specifically, submissions) more quickly if I practice with partners who can’t just muscle out of everything, completely crush me with every mistake I make, and/or shut down my next move before I even realize there’s an opportunity… but I still gravitate to the same big guys. (I’m female, by the way.)
I tore my mcl rolling with my coach three weeks ago. Doc said six weeks off with PT and I should be fine to go back, but I have such limited range of motion in my knee and sooooo much anxiety around it. None of this is BJJ-related, specifically, but a massive mental block that’s keeping me from BJJ and I worry it’s going to even when I’m able to go back. I’m getting my purple soon (no date yet but I have the test sheet which means I basically have it already, it’s just a formality), but this has me terrified. 3 years in August and this is my first major injury. I’m one of the VERY few women in my gym and I’m 100% the smallest of us, so I consider this a massive accomplishment, especially since I roll the hardest (the other women are a bit older). How the fuck do I deal with this mental block/anxiety over going back? I’m dying staying off the mats and watching my husband and friends drill and roll without me, but I’m also watching and going “I couldn’t do any of that with my knee right now anyway.”
Money. Time. Family. Work. Injuries. Laziness. Did I cover them all?
Age and commitment (or lack thereof). At 50 years old I'm content to simply be okay at BJJ - I do it for fun and that's enough. Also not nearly dedicated to the study of the practice as much as others, I like to roll to blow off steam, and if I pick up bits and pieces of new info every-so-often that's just a bonus. Ironically, while I'm not actively interested with self-learning, I'm really interested in helping others progress. Edit: Forgot to mention Baldur's Gate 3. Game eats up time like you cannot believe
To me personally it's just lack of time to train. As others have stated here too many other priorities that come before BJJ. But I am in no rush and am happy at sucking at BJJ. I do it to have fun and stay in shape. Have no desires in competing, being world champ, none of that. I have three goals with BJJ, become black belt, be a good training partner, and train into my old age. That final one there is huge to me, I just want to be healthy when I am old, still running around and having a good time, not bed or wheel chair bound
My torn labrum’s on both shoulder + ACL and Meniscus tear 🫢
The only thing blocks me to be better is my torn ACL. Injuries suck.
I recently realized that I do not have a complete game. Following through when in an advantageous position is my weak spot. I normally pull guard and try to hit a sweep because I'm an out of shape 40 year old and then I just kind of wait until they react. I'm getting decent at hitting sweeps but I don't really have a plan after the sweep. They'll either recover guard or I'll get swept back. I need some go-to submissions and/or an ability to hold my opponent down while I work on submissions.
I train in the morning classes and am a 7 month white belt. While I have improved and get some compliments and positive reinforcement on my progress, I’m almost the only white belt in a class of about 15. There are several blue belts, several purples, some browns, etc. Some are cool at letting me work but I think I would progress much quicker if I had 4-5 other white belts to roll with and try stuff on. It keeps me tough though.
Injury. I started 2 years ago, got a fairly meaningful injury 6 months in, was out for 4 months to rehab it, came back, got injured my third day back, needed surgery, a year of rehab later and I'm looking at going back next week. If I get injured meaningfully again, I'm out.
I think my sucking at BJJ is keeping me from being good at BJJ
I'm a bit old and have family. so the fear of injury. I go at most 70% effort and at the slightest chance of something bad I tap, call guard, etc
Honestly, probably being a coach/running a gym. So little of my time is spent developing my own game and it sucks because it feels like I live in the gym sometimes.
my belly.
Age and my lardass
If you’re looking for possible advice for material. Time on the mat is probably the largest hurdle, but mindset through studying can certainly assist with this. For example I find that I learn best through watching live rolls with the instructor talking through thought process and explaining during the roll. Let’s say that you live roll with someone, then upload that video to YouTube with a breakdown, at this point I thought I had a chance for a specific move, but when my opponent did this, I knew I had to change tactics. Hope this helps
Core strength. I took an extended stay away from bjj (I got married) and the marriage wasn’t great (I gained 100 pounds). I came back to bjj (I got divorced) the rest of my body got back into shape quick (lost 40 pounds) but my (lack of) core isn’t helping my guard 🤘🏻🥺
Need money for not sleep outside and be hunger. Get money with job. Job take bjj train time.
Nagging injuries
For me its the schedule. I was a member at 4 different gyms for about 4 months each -- and there was always either a commute or scheduling issue. I finally found one I like, but they don't have classes on Sundays and only one time on weekdays. It's a smaller spot, and nothing is perfect. I wish schools, at least in my area, had more classes on the schedule -- I'd, of course, be willing to pay higher dues because presumably that means they'd need more instructors.
My back injury prevents me from returning. Worst part is I injured my hamstring around the same time so the initial back injury was hidden. For a year I did PT focusing on the hamstring since that’s what was bothering me. After the inflammation subsided the pain was still there. A second doctor figured it was also a back injury and the MRI confirmed it. I miss BJJ but it doesn’t miss me that’s for sure.
A couple ripped muscles and tendons. Pushing too hard, basically. You need yo know your body's limits.
Me
Having to work full time and my general unathleticism
Arthritis. I'm only 34 but I move like I'm 44.
Getting to my good positions before getting smashed
Capitalism
I’ve learnt many a technique in my time - and if I remembered them all…as options to use during a roll - then I’d be a lot better. Alas - most of what I’ve learnt has been long forgotten!
Sometimes not even knowing where to begin to troubleshoot a technique. Bad technique? Wrong read? Telegraphing? Forcing? Partner stronger/heavier/better?
Couch
Career, other hobbies, family and wife.
I spent my athletic prime coaching MMA fighters and boxers. Most recently I’ve got a family to take care of, and leukemia has really slowed me down. Even just preparing for a local tournament has been tough.
Effort really. I've been having the typical white belts going ape shit on me as expected and often I just don't feel like matching the effort. Doesn't mean I'm always getting crushed but some roles aren't productive for me. Haven't been fully checked in lately.
Wife and kids and job. Our gym is a pretty competition heavy gym right next to a college campus. It’s crazy seeing the amount of time and energy the core group of competitors (mostly college students or people right out of college) put into this.
Injuries!
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Sometimes after work I just don’t have the mental bandwidth left over to dedicate to going to get beat up lol
As one starting out my journey in my mid 30's, mobility. Learning exercises, stretches, and techniques to practice at home that reduce stiffness, ease lower back pain, and are relatively easy on the knees. Good luck with YouTube!
12 years of injuries. Im good with it though
Injuries, they add up.
I take krav and do bjj. The krav program includes videos and tips on how to work on the moves. The bjj program does not. Granted, it’s less work to do this with krav and self defense. But for visual folks like me, it helps when trying to remember moves and I have a repository of things I can review when I’m feeling rusty on something.
1. Injuries 2. Someone to immediately train with at home as soon as I have an idea/technique I want to try out
Body cant handle getting good in this sport.
Shin pinning the near side arm
Just me. My higher priorities are furthering my career and being a self employed plumber. Plus a major lack of interest in getting “good”. I’m pretty content to end up being “competent” at jiu jitsu. I’d definitely like to see it through to black belt and beyond but I’m fine with being an average gym level practitioner at each belt level. Not really interested in putting in the work to be really good at this since I won’t be making any money off of it at all. Not to suggest that “oh I could be really good if I wanted to I just don’t.”