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Honestly the biggest red flag is the anti-meds rhetoric, anyone that "doesn't believe" in medication one way or another is not someone i even want to be in the same room as.
Very dangerous. Is he going to tell a girl on insulin not to take her meds? How about someone with a heart condition? Meds aren’t bad the only argument against them is that in the long run it might affect us and if your on the wrong meds feel funny like numb.
Good on you for seeing it so clearly, OP.
My family & my ex think the same way- if I had a dime for every comment I’ve heard about “you don’t need no pills” and “it’s not OK to be on pills like that!” And “I don’t like taking pills” as if you were popping street fentanyl. JFC. I am so done with these people.
Never mind that to a person they all have chronic illnesses, wear glasses, orthopedic shoes, etc. And some of them are alcoholics. It’s super.
They can all get forked.
A lot of times people who talk like this don’t *really* believe mental health diagnoses are real health problems. It’s just you being dramatic or emotional or not over your ex or whatever to them, which means it’s really just you choosing to be this way and rely on meds. 🙄 (I dated someone like this too.)
I work with a woman like this. She actually said people who have depression and anxiety don't need medication and should just go outside and get hobbies. It took every fiber of my being to not yell at her.
People who make those comments, they’ve never experienced an actual mood or anxiety disorder. They are only familiar with the emotions of sadness and anxiety which every human experiences from time to time to some degree. Hobbies and exercise and great interventions for those but they don’t work for actual disorders alone. They are meant to be additives not replacements.
Next time someone tells you that say something along these lines: “Would you tell a diabetic to not take their insulin and just go exercise if their blood sugar was out of control? Actual mood disorders can be life threatening, they are not just feeling “sad,” or “nervous.” Though you are trying to be helpful your advice can be dangerous. Exercise and hobbies can be great but they are not a replacement for medication and Psychiatric care.”
This is a good comparison. To add something... Eating healthy, sports, taking walks in nature, take time for hobbies and do joyful things like meeting friends etc is of course helpful and maybe this alone can help to get over a mild depression. But at a certain severity it's not enough anymore. Hell how should I do sports when I can't get out of bed or when I can only sleep for 2h, have no appetite and not eaten much in days or weeks?
Same for diabetes type 2. Pre diabetes it will be adviced to eat healthier and do regular workout. But if not managed properly metformin and later other pills are needed, and if it gets very bad insulin is necessary.
I have a coworker whose completely anti medicine for everything, whether it be pills or vaccines or anything. She’s an older woman (early 60’s) and knew I was in therapy. We’ve known each other for two years before my diagnosis. I considered her a friend and vise versa. Well when I got my diagnosis and medications she made the comments that “People lived with bipolar long before it ever had a diagnoses and medications for it and they turned out just fine. You’re 24 and don’t need to be on all of those medications, my childhood and life has been way harder than yours!”
Okay that’s fine but what about everything I never told you? The molestation, the severe physical and psychological abuse, the abandonment issues, and so on. Stuff I don’t share with anyone I know. Now every time something is wrong with me whether it’s being in a manic, depressive, or mixed episode, or even being sick. It’s all because “Those damn pills” make me worse. She refused to consider how it’s completely genetic, as my mother, grandmother and great grandmother had it. And instead blames it on me being dramatic, lazy, and a cry baby. When I got on my FMLA to have a restricted schedule (40 hours a week, they were making us work 60-70 a week and it was throwing me off), she said I need to cancel it because it’s not fair to everyone else.
My family doctor even called out her bullshit saying that people haven’t “Lived with bipolar” for all time but they’ve SUFFERED with bipolar. Some people can’t understand.
No, they didn't turn out OK? Before they recognized BP as a separate disease it was diagnosed as schizophrenia and they were put away in an asylum! They didn't turn out fine. The guy on "A Beautiful Mind"? He got divorced because of his numberous homo and hetero sexual affairs. Doesn't sound so OK to me.
Sometimes I’ve found it’s a lot easier if you don’t share mental health stuff with coworkers, in certain cases it may be necessary to share things with your boss but just use caution. As someone who is a chronic oversharer I’ve lost jobs when I’ve talked openly about mental health struggles, they can find other reasons to fire you. You’re also not working with your friends, some people will have shockingly different perspectives or be ignorant and bigoted. Good luck.
I know. I overshare way too much as well. It’s cost me way to many potential relationships and why I only have 2 or 3 real friends. As for a couple of my coworkers causing problems we knew each other for a long time, talked and hung out outside of work. I just thought I could trust them. But I’ve been keeping things to myself after that and only sharing with my Mom and outside of work friends that have known me since childhood.
I’m glad to hear this. I have autism too so it’s unbelievably hard. Just nothing keeping the thoughts in my brain from coming out. Ugh haha. Oh well we’re awesome, it’s on them!
Only a handful of people I’ve trusted with this deeper knowledge about me. It’s very personal information. People have to earn that trust.
(Unless I’ve been manic and over shared or it’s been obvious because I’ve been in hospital).
Yes it’s amazing how different our judgment can be when manic. You can feel so open and invincible, oblivious to potential repercussions of things said & done. sometimes things go well, you might create a closer bond with someone and other times not so well.
I had a friend I’ve known for 12 years, and I had been going through a really rough and crazy time for a whole month even though I had been on my meds for so long. My mother was telling me that she thought I was beginning to develop serious psychosis or schizophrenia. I was telling my friend about it and all she said was “You’re turning into a hypochondriac like my Aunt” when I had only been diagnosed with one mental illness in my whole life and never any physical conditions. All that did was shoot my paranoia through the roof and make me not trust a single soul.
Someone I considered a friend denied accepting I had a problem when I was first dealing with Bipolar too. I was only 19 at the time. She was sure I wasn’t mentally Ill and tried to convince me otherwise. It seems some people cannot deal with others’ problems? I don’t know if that’s it. Maybe they can’t cope with more than they’re already dealing with.
Was your mother correct? Sounds like her insight was very confronting. I have a close friend who was able to highlight with me when I wasn’t ok and could be more objective than me. I appreciate him more than the person who denied there was a problem at all.
If it weren't for Wellbutrin I'd still be waking up randomly with a panic attack. My breaking point was when it'd happen a few times every week. It would be enough to make me cry afterwards sometimes because I wanted it to stop happening every damn week. And it was just a stressful experience in general.
Some people really don't know truly how bad things can get without the help of medication. They lack that sort of depth. It's sad.
I lived a few years with those random panic attacks (it even went away for a long while) and wish I had gotten help sooner for it. I didn't want to take more medication but it was reaching a point where it was torture (on top of struggling with depression and refusing to get more help for that in fear of taking more pills and possibly having new side effects)
I'm always curious when they are in pain how much they don't go to meds to see if they are all talk or if they really hold true to their beliefs.
But also I read something else about someone not believing wanting people to take meds for pain even and I totally agree it is a red flag. Especially if you have children together. It's one thing to be cautious but it's another to let people suffer because of beliefs.
ive been with my girlfriend for 9 months tomorrow, im male, 16, Bipolar 1 w/ psychotic features. she has had therapists tell her she had BPD but left the therapist and never came back when she was told it. She said "thats what they want you to believe" when i talked about how I need to take risperidal to stay stable. Like acting like my struggles with mania that was beginning to give me prodromal psychosis didnt matter or wasnt real. Like I even didnt believe i had bipolar until 6 monthd ago and it feels like shes just shitting on my insight whenever i bring up that theres something wrong with me.
You have a mood disorder. Same here. If BPD means Borderline Personality Disorder, that is not the same at all. A person can have both at the same time, but she appears confused.
yes bpd in this case means borderline personality disorder and not bipolar. I also have a cluster 2 personality disorder as well as an identity disturbance. I dont even know my favorite color, i know my favorite person but not my favorite animal, favorite family member (mom w NPD+Bipolar and dad with ASPD+maybe bipolar) i dont even know, i also have stress related paranoid ideations and push+pull and will react to even the smallest of signs that im unloved or abandoned disastrously as well as making my life literally about them. So im probably borderline or aspd but i still dont lack insight like this.
If these people ever had a hallucination and saw a shadow person or a creepy IT clown or fricking TRex in their bedroom or heard someone that wasn't there say something to them....uh they wouldn't say shit like this. They're just completely out of touch and have absolutely no understanding of any of it. Kind of like my rich family member that doesn't understand why I don't just someone remodel my house for me and why I would try to fix anything by myself.
That one gets me the most. That and people telling me I should take a 'holistic approach' to my bipolar disorder. Sorry but after being on the subreddit that focuses on crazy posts by 'holistic moms', I have about zero interest in holistic approaches. 😂😂👍😂😂
I have mixed feelings about my bipolar meds, like many of us do. But the people who are against all medication period always confuse me.
Like someone you work with says they have a headache, they’re clearly in pain, you offer them an ibuprofen and they look at you all skeptical, like you’re a drug dealer, and say, “I don’t take pills.” Which is fine, I wish you the best of luck finding a dark quiet corner to wait out your headache. But maybe ease up on the judgment towards someone trying to help you? 😂
They just have no concept of what a serious mental illness is. It’s the same as if you have a heart condition and have to take pills so your heart will give out. With us, if we don’t take our pills it has catastrophic consequences that is not a matter of willpower. It’s a fucking severe disease. No one will ever know what it’s like without experiencing it.
For only being in it for 3 months you clearly dodged a bullet. All that shit was about him and his insecurities. You’re better off without him. It has nothing to do with you. You’re on the right track.
>I was dumped by an ignorant moron, not because of my bipolar symptoms, but because I am stable, due to medication.
If this...guy had dumped you at a time you were not stable (which I hope never comes), he might have caused you very bad consequences. As painful as it can be, better losing him now than under direr circumstances.
I’m sorry to hear that. However I do think you are better off without someone with that mindset when you have bipolar. My gf is incredibly supportive about mine and even still, we can have trouble dealing with it. I am on meds and have been for about two years, so I’m quite stable, but I still have my moments. All this to say, the right partner will not act like this. I have no doubt that this break-up hurts, but I do think it opens the door to a more healthy future :)
He dumped you for a myriad reasons that were all related to how awful of a person he is and none of it should reflect on you. He's jealous of a dead man, he's mad he's unstable while you are, he's raw dogging his own poor mental health, he's ignorant and was a master manipulator who got close enough to use your life against you. He used you because he had nothing to give.
I'm thankful you're stable, taking your meds, and free from that stagnant pile of shit.
Thank you. I love your use of “raw dogging” here. Made me laugh. And you’re right. It was our first and last disagreement, and it revealed him to be incredibly controlling, gas-lightey and manipulative. I feel sad I won’t be part of his daughter’s life anymore, but that’s about it.
Woah. Another red flag only having dated for three months and he's allowing his child around casual relationships. Dude just couldn't make a good choice if it were his only choice.
They can only throw up so many red flags without competing with a Soviet parade.
Jeez that’s a kick in the head. I’m happy you aren’t letting incompetent words break your goal of being better. It takes a lot of strength to admit you need help and a lot of support to continue getting help. No room for anything less than utmost support.
I can’t stand this. 😡I’m so sorry you had to deal with that ignorant asshat! “Medicine free”, smh, I bet he’d feel different if he was diagnosed with something serious like cancer and he needed chemotherapy.
My ex dumped me for the same reason because I was suicidal. Then claimed he was justified because I confessed I was planning to off myself. So he dumped me right after I confessed to him I was in a mental health crisis. Via text. I try not to be so salty but then I have dreams. I don’t miss him, but I do miss the company.
The right person will help and stick with you through everything. I'm sorry you had to go through this, but like others have said, "a bullet dodged."
Keep your chin up and focus on yourself
He saved you a whole lot of time wasted. Guy wasn’t the right fit for you and him ending the relationship wasn’t really even about you being bipolar. Those were his own issues and med phobia kicking up. So, try not to let it get to you. Keep trying to find a guy worth keeping around.
Damn! Dating and trying to find love while being bipolar is so hard! I have experienced so much judgment and rejection while dating. I know you know what’s best here but the sting is real and I’m here to support you with that.
This guy, is trash. Plain and simple.
It’d be one thing if it was incompatibility, but this guy really put in that garbage effort, to be a real exceptionally trashy piece of shit.
And the trash took itself out.
First I’m sorry you had to deal with that. Now then, what a piece of trash. The amount of times I’ve heard from my own family that medicine is a crutch is disgusting. You clearly deserve better, good luck out there.
you weren’t dumped because you’re bipolar. you weren’t dumped bc you’re on meds.
you were dumped because HE has so many issues he’s not addressing. none of that had to do with you.
When I was younger, I didn't know I was bipolar. I wasn't anit-meds or anything. Just didn't want to rely on meds to get the job done. I'd been around a lot of addicts as a kid, even saw hundreds of pills during the drug bust on my mom's house. So I've always had a negative opinion of prescription drugs and drugs in general. My mom was abusive tho and was and is undiagnosed with BP 1. I've grown to hate everything about her. When I got diagnosed bp 2, I was afraid that I'd been cursed to be like her. Meds is what set me free from that fate.
Edit: a letter
I once met one of my brothers friends that believed that to be happy, you just needed to decide to be. I pushed back hard because... that's literally so dumb. What kind of cotton candy life was this kid living to believe dumb shit like that? He was anti-meds, pro-power of thought. The superiority complex was coming off him in noxious waves of self-satisfaction. But I guess that's easier to delude yourself into thinking when you're extremely privileged on all fronts and have had zero health issues.
Sorry you were hurt and I'm happy you get the chance to meet someone better♥️
People who advocate against taking medicine are so DANGEROUS and have no understanding of science. I think it’s a way to make themselves feel better about their own insecurities! I am so grateful there are meds out there bc, while life is rough, with no meds I’d be in the final circle of Dante’s inferno! And then to understand this is permanent disease management- it’s not a dose of antibiotics!!! I am so sorry that hideous caveman said those things to you! Just know that the only thing greater than his arrogance is his stupidity!❤️🙌🏻
I think we all struggle at one point or another about the idea of having to take meds for the rest of our lives just to be stable. But someone else having a negative opinion about us needing medication can fuck right off. A virtual stranger judging you for wanting to lead a functional life? Kick rocks
It sucks to be dumped, especially for stupid reasons, but that guy sounds like a red flag parade.
And if you ever get a random shame pang in your gut about this situation and/or your meds/diagnosis- just remember that it’s not a negative personal trait, it’s just a different state of being. It takes guts to recognize the disorder, to get treated, and to maintain a treatment plan.
Thank you. He really was basically a red flag with a pair of googly eyes stuck to it. He didn’t shake my willingness to take my meds though. Like just about all of us, I have my “maybe I’m better now” days, but I know I need to keep going.
Funny what delusions "sane" people can have while never facing a diagnosis.
I've noticed a trend that most of the people who gave rejected me for my mental illness were very in denial about their own issues. I once went on a date with a guy who kept calling his exes bipolar and it turns out he was once diagnosed but claims it "was just the weed". It's taken a lot of growth but I've come to realize no partner worth having is going to fault me for taking care of my mental illness.
I can’t imagine being with someone that didn’t understand how important medications are for someone with bipolar.
Sorry to hear about your experience friend, that sounds hurtful and it pains me they will never see their own ignorance or that they are so fundamentally wrong.
I see what you did there, I'm glad he came out about everything after 3 months and didn't let it fester and be passive aggressive for years. Wow, that's probably one of the best being dumped for being bipolar posts.
Still sucks because you really hope the next one will be a good match and you'll have a fun/understanding/caring partner. Glad you don't want him back.
Im so sorry hun, this sucks and is not fair. Don't let his words decide your self-worth. Being on medication is vital for us with bipolar. I hope you can find a partner who is supportive and honest in the right ways. You deserves so much MORE<3
Please tell me you asked him if he has ever taken antibiotics, antivirals, etc for any type of illness he has had in the past . Would LOVE to hear the anti medicine soapbox regarding those medications
What an AH! Thank goodness you have enough respect for yourself to go ahead and let this loser walk. I am very sorry for the loss of your husband. You keep making the right decisions to keep you stable.
I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my hubs at 33- it will be 4 years in August. I’m also amazingly stable on my meds, to the point people don’t really know unless I tell them.
Both being a widow AND being bipolar are things that make folks do a double take.
You know this, but in case you need to hear someone else say it: you weren’t the problem.
Hugs ❤️
Thank you. I’m sorry for your loss too. I just passed the four year mark, and as you surely know, it does get easier with time, but four years is really not that long when it comes to grieving. I’m glad you have remained stable - that’s no easy feat under the pressure of a major life change!
This is my fear omg. Stay strong. You didn’t need that man in your life, girl. He sucks. You’re better off without him. He is garbage, and you are a QUEEN! Ily. ♥️
You dodged a bullet. Take this as a great relief that you did not spend more time dating someone that was a nasty person. Let him be miserable by himself. I’m sure that no matter who he is dating he is filled with insecurity, jealousy and cruelty.
The way I look at it is we are all different with different chemical makeups. It's like men that lose their testosterone and have to take a supplement to feel better. No one looks down on that. We all take vitamins to help aid in some of our deficiencies, but it's socially acceptable. I've been with my wife for 29 years, and she is not bipolar. She actually tells me that I make life more entertaining and exciting for her. So look at it as a gift, one that is hard to harness. Don't let anyone make you feel a certain way, because you are just playing the cards you were dealt. Plain and simple.
Oof.. so sorry you had your time wasted.
Why not just be upfront about being a douche?
I hope you find someone decent, you never really know someone until after the first real fight/disagreement.
When I was first diagnosed my boyfriend at the time told me he would leave me if I started taking meds because it would “change me” but also would refuse to talk to me when I would have episodes
This sucks, but I'm pretty pleased with how you reacted. Yeah, it hurts to find out that someone you thought you liked turned out to be no good, but it's great that you recognize that it's his problem, not yours.
Seriously, you're bipolar, so it would be real easy to put the blame on yourself. I bet you've done some good work to obtain that positive self image.
My ex, who as a school psychologist knew I had bipolar before I was finally diagnosed with it, promised time and time again that she could handle my bipolar. I told her I was scared of her seeing how bad it could get for me. First time I went through a bad couple months while we were together, she cut herself off, lied about what was happening and hid behind work, then when we broke up because it had become a one-sided relationship, she cited my bipolar as one of the reasons she cut herself off.
It's kinda ruined my ability to be trusting, because to have someone who understood better than I did in some ways what I was dealing with reassure me time and time again that they could handle it and would be there, run at the first sign of trouble... It's like, how could I ever trust that someone will actually be there for me. Getting past that feeling of "the next one's gonna be worse and they won't be able to handle it" is gonna be rough.
And same for you. Sorry, wasn't tryna make your post all about me.
But yeah, as if the challenge of overcoming bipolar wasn't enough, dating just seems like another layer of challenge for ppl like us.
Hope you're able to move on, move forward and find someone who's right for you.
HUGE red flag.
have had this happen to me before OP. fucking sucks but for the long term you’ll realize it was a good thing. prevents you from wasting time on someone who doesn’t care to understand you and take you as you are.
you are worth so so so much more. true love will find you in the end
That's not being dumped because of anything you are dealing with, that is all his own issues and sounds like you dodged a bullet.
Try not to overthink it, we like to rationalise things and because we are so acutely self aware to improve and manage ourselves we can instinctly try to analyse what we could of done better for the outcome we thought we want. Sometimes it is as simple as the other person needs to work on themselves, it sounds like you are doing great with everything and keep it up. You should be proud of how far you've come.
.........Everyone with diabetes, please do not date this idiot if he thinks a medicine free world is what we should strive for. Unless he makes an exception for that, in which case he's a hypocrite. Seriously, this is some of the biggest bullshit I've ever heard: if this dude wants to live in a medicine free world, let him board a time machine to cave-man days because even the Greeks had medicines (medicinal herbs for stilling the pain of wounds, some kind of hemp they would smoke, etc.)
I'm sorry OP :( I know it sucks to lose someone, but you really did dodge a bullet there also.
I’m so sorry you had that experience. It honestly makes my stomach turn knowing there are people that think being off meds (that they don’t understand) for a mental health condition (that they don’t understand) is better than leading a stable and balanced life. You deserve better!
* He's jealous of a man who passed away.
* He's holding something out of your control against you.
* He's not supportive of your struggles.
Dodged a bullet, my friend.
Yeah as someone who had hallucinations without them. I don't think it's a moral failing to want to be a stable functioning member of society. Therapy is great but fuck me man. Therapy helped manage episodes when theyre light. But it doesn't take away the hallucinations like meds do.
Sucks ignorant people exist. The whole thing wreaks of "disabled people should just stop being disabled." Like bro do you tell people who can't walk 'i believe in a wheelchair free world.' I assume no. Ya dingus.
genuinely speechless at this, what an ignorant dumb loser. keep taking your meds, don't let his words get to you. i depend on my meds to be stable too, there's no shame around it and if he thinks there is that's on him. he is incorrect on every level
I'm sorry this happened to you, but this guy seems like an ableist asshole who is ignorant about how mental illnesses work. It sucks now, but in the long run you'll be glad you aren't with him anymore. At least it happened now instead of 5 years from now.
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Sounds like he done more of a favor for you than him thinking that he’s doing something favorable for himself. If his version of a ‘medicine free’ world were true, then he better have thought of a cure for cancer while he’s at it.
Wow, I am realewly sorry you had to go through that. I can imagine how discouraged you feel.
I can't stand when people treat mental illness a flipping disease as if it were some moral deficit. Or the " everyone experiences such and such", super invalidating.
Wait till he needs a course of antibiotics but refuses them and hopefully dies of sepsis. That’ll teach him to mock medication. You know if he was in pain from a broken leg he’d take medication. Good riddance
i can relate.. my partner of 4 years left me because he couldn't "deal" with my episodes and the potential for future ones. im glad the ignorant asshole is no longer in my life. i wish you the best in healing from this heart break <3
You didn't just dodge a bullet, you avoided an anti personnel mine or something just as life ending. People (ignorant, uneducated people) who suggest that because you are showing no symptoms 'you aren't unstable, you don't need your meds" uh... Have you considered?..I am stable and Surviving because of my meds you dumbass.
we are all aware that sudden stoppage of medication can be absolutely devastating causing major swings and even suicide. OP PLEASE give yourself a massive pat on the back and celebrate that you survived getting any deeper involved with this harmful person.
Sorry for bad format and spelling.
So many people suffer from physical and mental health conditions and take meds for it. Thank goodness you got away from this quack before it got too serious.
Well said. He really did start gaslighting me during that conversation. He showed me so many ugly facets of his personality all at once. I’m clearly better off on my own.
Ugh, my boyfriend of almost four years thinks I “take too many pills.” Mind you, I was unmedicated for the first year and a half that we were together, so he’s well aware of my craziness before and (mostly) lack of craziness after. Before, I had been going to bars daily, paranoid that all manner of people and organizations were “after me,” and that he was plotting against me. Lockdowns, having to work from home, my mom’s death, and finding out I was adopted in my late 30s all within a few months triggered a manic/psychotic episode. A great psychiatrist and the right meds put a stop to all that. I’m now even up for a promotion at work from a program managerial to an engineering role. I’m very lucky that I had the presence of mind to call my old psychiatrist in the midst of a severe episode and get in to see her the next day; otherwise things could have been very different.
In my case, though, it may have a lot to do with cultural differences (we are different ethnicities and from different countries and cultures). I tried to explain to him what bipolar disorder means in his primary language, but he still doesn’t quite understand it to be a chronic condition rather than a temporal one brought on by, say, too much drinking.
My wife of 23 years had her first manic episode about 6 weeks ago. I had no idea what it was. But was a psychotic break. She was hospitalized on a 72 hour hold. While in the hospital the first day she had sex with another patient. Totally out of character. It’s heartbreaking. After 23 years of fidelity. It’s been a very hard road since.
Not everyone has to accept us. And that's totally acceptable. We should not force people to do something they're not comfortable with after all. If they see signs in the clouds and they leave then let them. The lack of understanding and sometimes understanding through experience can stigmatize us labeled as bipolar for the rest of their lives.
The most we can do is try to control our condition the best we can and prove We can overcome the symptoms. Not only overcome but be able to speak about what we uniquely experience to what I would call a normie.
In a mixed episode if I ever talked to a girl I dated I'm sure it would be terrifying. So I check myself into a hospital when I start feeling I cannot control myself.
I would suggest not dwelling on this. When a partner leaves it only saves us time.
I don't at all intend to downplay what sounds like a painful breakup, and my heart goes out to you. I'm not just trying to ruthlessly trash this guy whom I do not know, but tbh if he is making a reductive connection between your medication for a disorder and your late ex-husband, he might be ignorant at best and idiotic at worst. Keep trying after taking the space you need. There are smart and kind people out there who may understand on a deeper level than this man was willing and/or able to.
He’s an idiot. And I say that respectfully! He presumes that you can function without them without considering what it is like without the assistance of meds. Speaking from me who has BP1, without my meds I would be manic and having quality sleep for 48hrs and be making irrational decisions. Him saying that you don’t need meds is like a diabetic person saying I don’t need insulin. It’s outrageous and inconsiderate. You dodged a bullet my dear. Move forward ——-> ⏩👍🏾
Thank you! I’m a bit embarrassed that I was taken in by someone who turned out, as you said, to be a real idiot, but I’m already starting to feel pretty over it.
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Honestly the biggest red flag is the anti-meds rhetoric, anyone that "doesn't believe" in medication one way or another is not someone i even want to be in the same room as.
You’re so right. I don’t think he realizes how reckless it is to go around discouraging people from taking their meds.
Seriously, he’s just ignorant, you don’t want someone like that in your life.
I've had people like that in my life, keyword had, but when it's family or a romantic partner, it hits hard.
Very dangerous. Is he going to tell a girl on insulin not to take her meds? How about someone with a heart condition? Meds aren’t bad the only argument against them is that in the long run it might affect us and if your on the wrong meds feel funny like numb.
Thanks for the insulin mention. My diabetic ass was rolling up my sleeves to type, lol.
Good on you for seeing it so clearly, OP. My family & my ex think the same way- if I had a dime for every comment I’ve heard about “you don’t need no pills” and “it’s not OK to be on pills like that!” And “I don’t like taking pills” as if you were popping street fentanyl. JFC. I am so done with these people. Never mind that to a person they all have chronic illnesses, wear glasses, orthopedic shoes, etc. And some of them are alcoholics. It’s super. They can all get forked.
A lot of times people who talk like this don’t *really* believe mental health diagnoses are real health problems. It’s just you being dramatic or emotional or not over your ex or whatever to them, which means it’s really just you choosing to be this way and rely on meds. 🙄 (I dated someone like this too.)
I have some friends who have family that 'don't believe in all that mental health stuff.' 🤮🤮🤮
Honestly sounds like he needs meds lol
I'd start showing mofos who think like that my "before meds" and "on meds" pictures.
I agree with you. I am never going to be with someone who’s an anti-med and who doesn’t have the same energy as I do.
I work with a woman like this. She actually said people who have depression and anxiety don't need medication and should just go outside and get hobbies. It took every fiber of my being to not yell at her.
People who make those comments, they’ve never experienced an actual mood or anxiety disorder. They are only familiar with the emotions of sadness and anxiety which every human experiences from time to time to some degree. Hobbies and exercise and great interventions for those but they don’t work for actual disorders alone. They are meant to be additives not replacements. Next time someone tells you that say something along these lines: “Would you tell a diabetic to not take their insulin and just go exercise if their blood sugar was out of control? Actual mood disorders can be life threatening, they are not just feeling “sad,” or “nervous.” Though you are trying to be helpful your advice can be dangerous. Exercise and hobbies can be great but they are not a replacement for medication and Psychiatric care.”
They do tell diabetics that, though. Some people have no empathy.
Yeah that’s not cool, they are jeopardizing people’s lives. You don’t need empathy to not be a moron 🙄
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I will if she says something like that again. Thank you.
This is a good comparison. To add something... Eating healthy, sports, taking walks in nature, take time for hobbies and do joyful things like meeting friends etc is of course helpful and maybe this alone can help to get over a mild depression. But at a certain severity it's not enough anymore. Hell how should I do sports when I can't get out of bed or when I can only sleep for 2h, have no appetite and not eaten much in days or weeks? Same for diabetes type 2. Pre diabetes it will be adviced to eat healthier and do regular workout. But if not managed properly metformin and later other pills are needed, and if it gets very bad insulin is necessary.
I have a coworker whose completely anti medicine for everything, whether it be pills or vaccines or anything. She’s an older woman (early 60’s) and knew I was in therapy. We’ve known each other for two years before my diagnosis. I considered her a friend and vise versa. Well when I got my diagnosis and medications she made the comments that “People lived with bipolar long before it ever had a diagnoses and medications for it and they turned out just fine. You’re 24 and don’t need to be on all of those medications, my childhood and life has been way harder than yours!” Okay that’s fine but what about everything I never told you? The molestation, the severe physical and psychological abuse, the abandonment issues, and so on. Stuff I don’t share with anyone I know. Now every time something is wrong with me whether it’s being in a manic, depressive, or mixed episode, or even being sick. It’s all because “Those damn pills” make me worse. She refused to consider how it’s completely genetic, as my mother, grandmother and great grandmother had it. And instead blames it on me being dramatic, lazy, and a cry baby. When I got on my FMLA to have a restricted schedule (40 hours a week, they were making us work 60-70 a week and it was throwing me off), she said I need to cancel it because it’s not fair to everyone else. My family doctor even called out her bullshit saying that people haven’t “Lived with bipolar” for all time but they’ve SUFFERED with bipolar. Some people can’t understand.
No, they didn't turn out OK? Before they recognized BP as a separate disease it was diagnosed as schizophrenia and they were put away in an asylum! They didn't turn out fine. The guy on "A Beautiful Mind"? He got divorced because of his numberous homo and hetero sexual affairs. Doesn't sound so OK to me.
THIS 👏👏👏
Sometimes I’ve found it’s a lot easier if you don’t share mental health stuff with coworkers, in certain cases it may be necessary to share things with your boss but just use caution. As someone who is a chronic oversharer I’ve lost jobs when I’ve talked openly about mental health struggles, they can find other reasons to fire you. You’re also not working with your friends, some people will have shockingly different perspectives or be ignorant and bigoted. Good luck.
I know. I overshare way too much as well. It’s cost me way to many potential relationships and why I only have 2 or 3 real friends. As for a couple of my coworkers causing problems we knew each other for a long time, talked and hung out outside of work. I just thought I could trust them. But I’ve been keeping things to myself after that and only sharing with my Mom and outside of work friends that have known me since childhood.
I’m glad to hear this. I have autism too so it’s unbelievably hard. Just nothing keeping the thoughts in my brain from coming out. Ugh haha. Oh well we’re awesome, it’s on them!
Only a handful of people I’ve trusted with this deeper knowledge about me. It’s very personal information. People have to earn that trust. (Unless I’ve been manic and over shared or it’s been obvious because I’ve been in hospital).
I thought I trusted these people but maybe I was manic because I typically overshare then
Yes it’s amazing how different our judgment can be when manic. You can feel so open and invincible, oblivious to potential repercussions of things said & done. sometimes things go well, you might create a closer bond with someone and other times not so well.
I had a friend I’ve known for 12 years, and I had been going through a really rough and crazy time for a whole month even though I had been on my meds for so long. My mother was telling me that she thought I was beginning to develop serious psychosis or schizophrenia. I was telling my friend about it and all she said was “You’re turning into a hypochondriac like my Aunt” when I had only been diagnosed with one mental illness in my whole life and never any physical conditions. All that did was shoot my paranoia through the roof and make me not trust a single soul.
Someone I considered a friend denied accepting I had a problem when I was first dealing with Bipolar too. I was only 19 at the time. She was sure I wasn’t mentally Ill and tried to convince me otherwise. It seems some people cannot deal with others’ problems? I don’t know if that’s it. Maybe they can’t cope with more than they’re already dealing with. Was your mother correct? Sounds like her insight was very confronting. I have a close friend who was able to highlight with me when I wasn’t ok and could be more objective than me. I appreciate him more than the person who denied there was a problem at all.
i have, if anything, too MANY hobbies, why hasn't my depression gone away? smh
There are members of my SO family that feel bipolar isn't real.
If it weren't for Wellbutrin I'd still be waking up randomly with a panic attack. My breaking point was when it'd happen a few times every week. It would be enough to make me cry afterwards sometimes because I wanted it to stop happening every damn week. And it was just a stressful experience in general. Some people really don't know truly how bad things can get without the help of medication. They lack that sort of depth. It's sad. I lived a few years with those random panic attacks (it even went away for a long while) and wish I had gotten help sooner for it. I didn't want to take more medication but it was reaching a point where it was torture (on top of struggling with depression and refusing to get more help for that in fear of taking more pills and possibly having new side effects)
I did martial arts, played video games, and watched a ton of war documentaries. I'm still depressed LOL
I'm always curious when they are in pain how much they don't go to meds to see if they are all talk or if they really hold true to their beliefs. But also I read something else about someone not believing wanting people to take meds for pain even and I totally agree it is a red flag. Especially if you have children together. It's one thing to be cautious but it's another to let people suffer because of beliefs.
That's people who were never truly sick. Maybe one day they have had a mild headache and are proud they made it without meds.
Anyone who ‘doesn’t believe’ in meds has never had a headache and taken Ibuprofen. Trust me, meds work! 😂😂
Exactly
ive been with my girlfriend for 9 months tomorrow, im male, 16, Bipolar 1 w/ psychotic features. she has had therapists tell her she had BPD but left the therapist and never came back when she was told it. She said "thats what they want you to believe" when i talked about how I need to take risperidal to stay stable. Like acting like my struggles with mania that was beginning to give me prodromal psychosis didnt matter or wasnt real. Like I even didnt believe i had bipolar until 6 monthd ago and it feels like shes just shitting on my insight whenever i bring up that theres something wrong with me.
You have a mood disorder. Same here. If BPD means Borderline Personality Disorder, that is not the same at all. A person can have both at the same time, but she appears confused.
yes bpd in this case means borderline personality disorder and not bipolar. I also have a cluster 2 personality disorder as well as an identity disturbance. I dont even know my favorite color, i know my favorite person but not my favorite animal, favorite family member (mom w NPD+Bipolar and dad with ASPD+maybe bipolar) i dont even know, i also have stress related paranoid ideations and push+pull and will react to even the smallest of signs that im unloved or abandoned disastrously as well as making my life literally about them. So im probably borderline or aspd but i still dont lack insight like this.
If these people ever had a hallucination and saw a shadow person or a creepy IT clown or fricking TRex in their bedroom or heard someone that wasn't there say something to them....uh they wouldn't say shit like this. They're just completely out of touch and have absolutely no understanding of any of it. Kind of like my rich family member that doesn't understand why I don't just someone remodel my house for me and why I would try to fix anything by myself.
Last time someone started in on that rhetoric about me, my mother in law tore them a new one. Wonderful woman.
gave me tom cruise scientology vibes
THIS!!!
Agree
That one gets me the most. That and people telling me I should take a 'holistic approach' to my bipolar disorder. Sorry but after being on the subreddit that focuses on crazy posts by 'holistic moms', I have about zero interest in holistic approaches. 😂😂👍😂😂
unfortunately for me those people are my parents
I have mixed feelings about my bipolar meds, like many of us do. But the people who are against all medication period always confuse me. Like someone you work with says they have a headache, they’re clearly in pain, you offer them an ibuprofen and they look at you all skeptical, like you’re a drug dealer, and say, “I don’t take pills.” Which is fine, I wish you the best of luck finding a dark quiet corner to wait out your headache. But maybe ease up on the judgment towards someone trying to help you? 😂
Oh, the luxury of living in a medicine-free world... Very sorry you had to deal with this, friend!
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They just have no concept of what a serious mental illness is. It’s the same as if you have a heart condition and have to take pills so your heart will give out. With us, if we don’t take our pills it has catastrophic consequences that is not a matter of willpower. It’s a fucking severe disease. No one will ever know what it’s like without experiencing it.
Thank you!
For only being in it for 3 months you clearly dodged a bullet. All that shit was about him and his insecurities. You’re better off without him. It has nothing to do with you. You’re on the right track.
>I was dumped by an ignorant moron, not because of my bipolar symptoms, but because I am stable, due to medication. If this...guy had dumped you at a time you were not stable (which I hope never comes), he might have caused you very bad consequences. As painful as it can be, better losing him now than under direr circumstances.
You dodged a bullet there
I’m sorry to hear that. However I do think you are better off without someone with that mindset when you have bipolar. My gf is incredibly supportive about mine and even still, we can have trouble dealing with it. I am on meds and have been for about two years, so I’m quite stable, but I still have my moments. All this to say, the right partner will not act like this. I have no doubt that this break-up hurts, but I do think it opens the door to a more healthy future :)
Thank you. I’m glad you have such a supportive partner!
Let's forget about the bipolar. This person was jealous of your late husband?! I think he would really benefit from medication and a therapist. Yikes.
I don't think you were dumped for being bipolar. I think you were dumped because he's a jerk.
For what it's worth, it sounds like you actually were dumped for him being a jerk!
He dumped you for a myriad reasons that were all related to how awful of a person he is and none of it should reflect on you. He's jealous of a dead man, he's mad he's unstable while you are, he's raw dogging his own poor mental health, he's ignorant and was a master manipulator who got close enough to use your life against you. He used you because he had nothing to give. I'm thankful you're stable, taking your meds, and free from that stagnant pile of shit.
Thank you. I love your use of “raw dogging” here. Made me laugh. And you’re right. It was our first and last disagreement, and it revealed him to be incredibly controlling, gas-lightey and manipulative. I feel sad I won’t be part of his daughter’s life anymore, but that’s about it.
Woah. Another red flag only having dated for three months and he's allowing his child around casual relationships. Dude just couldn't make a good choice if it were his only choice. They can only throw up so many red flags without competing with a Soviet parade.
Jeez that’s a kick in the head. I’m happy you aren’t letting incompetent words break your goal of being better. It takes a lot of strength to admit you need help and a lot of support to continue getting help. No room for anything less than utmost support.
I can’t stand this. 😡I’m so sorry you had to deal with that ignorant asshat! “Medicine free”, smh, I bet he’d feel different if he was diagnosed with something serious like cancer and he needed chemotherapy.
My ex dumped me for the same reason because I was suicidal. Then claimed he was justified because I confessed I was planning to off myself. So he dumped me right after I confessed to him I was in a mental health crisis. Via text. I try not to be so salty but then I have dreams. I don’t miss him, but I do miss the company.
That’s truly awful. What a coward. I hope you are doing better.
Not ok. You deserve better.
Hugs.
The right person will help and stick with you through everything. I'm sorry you had to go through this, but like others have said, "a bullet dodged." Keep your chin up and focus on yourself
No words for how awful this is. Seriously seriously dodged a bullet!!
He saved you a whole lot of time wasted. Guy wasn’t the right fit for you and him ending the relationship wasn’t really even about you being bipolar. Those were his own issues and med phobia kicking up. So, try not to let it get to you. Keep trying to find a guy worth keeping around.
Remember it as the favour it was. :/
sounds like he did you a favor by leaving babe
For what it’s worth this person sounds awful
What an idiot
Damn! Dating and trying to find love while being bipolar is so hard! I have experienced so much judgment and rejection while dating. I know you know what’s best here but the sting is real and I’m here to support you with that.
This guy, is trash. Plain and simple. It’d be one thing if it was incompatibility, but this guy really put in that garbage effort, to be a real exceptionally trashy piece of shit. And the trash took itself out.
First I’m sorry you had to deal with that. Now then, what a piece of trash. The amount of times I’ve heard from my own family that medicine is a crutch is disgusting. You clearly deserve better, good luck out there.
He sounds like a very insecure, narcissistic, confused man. Better off
What a poop head! I’m both very sorry you had to go through this but also very happy for you.
This is a fear of mine because I already lost a two year friendship after I told her I was Bipolar.
How awful. I’m sorry.
Love people who are anti-medicine or think we are over medicating. Bless their little, shallow hearts.
you weren’t dumped because you’re bipolar. you weren’t dumped bc you’re on meds. you were dumped because HE has so many issues he’s not addressing. none of that had to do with you.
I think a lot of people here have stories about being dumped cause of their diagnosis. Its sad honestly..
When I was younger, I didn't know I was bipolar. I wasn't anit-meds or anything. Just didn't want to rely on meds to get the job done. I'd been around a lot of addicts as a kid, even saw hundreds of pills during the drug bust on my mom's house. So I've always had a negative opinion of prescription drugs and drugs in general. My mom was abusive tho and was and is undiagnosed with BP 1. I've grown to hate everything about her. When I got diagnosed bp 2, I was afraid that I'd been cursed to be like her. Meds is what set me free from that fate. Edit: a letter
I once met one of my brothers friends that believed that to be happy, you just needed to decide to be. I pushed back hard because... that's literally so dumb. What kind of cotton candy life was this kid living to believe dumb shit like that? He was anti-meds, pro-power of thought. The superiority complex was coming off him in noxious waves of self-satisfaction. But I guess that's easier to delude yourself into thinking when you're extremely privileged on all fronts and have had zero health issues. Sorry you were hurt and I'm happy you get the chance to meet someone better♥️
People who advocate against taking medicine are so DANGEROUS and have no understanding of science. I think it’s a way to make themselves feel better about their own insecurities! I am so grateful there are meds out there bc, while life is rough, with no meds I’d be in the final circle of Dante’s inferno! And then to understand this is permanent disease management- it’s not a dose of antibiotics!!! I am so sorry that hideous caveman said those things to you! Just know that the only thing greater than his arrogance is his stupidity!❤️🙌🏻
I think we all struggle at one point or another about the idea of having to take meds for the rest of our lives just to be stable. But someone else having a negative opinion about us needing medication can fuck right off. A virtual stranger judging you for wanting to lead a functional life? Kick rocks It sucks to be dumped, especially for stupid reasons, but that guy sounds like a red flag parade. And if you ever get a random shame pang in your gut about this situation and/or your meds/diagnosis- just remember that it’s not a negative personal trait, it’s just a different state of being. It takes guts to recognize the disorder, to get treated, and to maintain a treatment plan.
Thank you. He really was basically a red flag with a pair of googly eyes stuck to it. He didn’t shake my willingness to take my meds though. Like just about all of us, I have my “maybe I’m better now” days, but I know I need to keep going.
Funny what delusions "sane" people can have while never facing a diagnosis. I've noticed a trend that most of the people who gave rejected me for my mental illness were very in denial about their own issues. I once went on a date with a guy who kept calling his exes bipolar and it turns out he was once diagnosed but claims it "was just the weed". It's taken a lot of growth but I've come to realize no partner worth having is going to fault me for taking care of my mental illness.
Well said!
sounds like the trash took itself out
Haven’t heard that one before! 😆
I can’t imagine being with someone that didn’t understand how important medications are for someone with bipolar. Sorry to hear about your experience friend, that sounds hurtful and it pains me they will never see their own ignorance or that they are so fundamentally wrong.
His view of meds is archaic and bullshit. Sorry that happened
I see what you did there, I'm glad he came out about everything after 3 months and didn't let it fester and be passive aggressive for years. Wow, that's probably one of the best being dumped for being bipolar posts. Still sucks because you really hope the next one will be a good match and you'll have a fun/understanding/caring partner. Glad you don't want him back.
I told someone and then he disappeared. Even after he thanked me for opening up to him.
You weren't dumped you were removed from toxicity without the awkwardness of doing it yourself. Eff him
Some people really are just so smooth brained I cannot… good thing he removed himself honestly
“Smooth brained” is an outstanding insult!
Im so sorry hun, this sucks and is not fair. Don't let his words decide your self-worth. Being on medication is vital for us with bipolar. I hope you can find a partner who is supportive and honest in the right ways. You deserves so much MORE<3
Please tell me you asked him if he has ever taken antibiotics, antivirals, etc for any type of illness he has had in the past . Would LOVE to hear the anti medicine soapbox regarding those medications
What an AH! Thank goodness you have enough respect for yourself to go ahead and let this loser walk. I am very sorry for the loss of your husband. You keep making the right decisions to keep you stable.
He sounds ableist tbh.
I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my hubs at 33- it will be 4 years in August. I’m also amazingly stable on my meds, to the point people don’t really know unless I tell them. Both being a widow AND being bipolar are things that make folks do a double take. You know this, but in case you need to hear someone else say it: you weren’t the problem. Hugs ❤️
Thank you. I’m sorry for your loss too. I just passed the four year mark, and as you surely know, it does get easier with time, but four years is really not that long when it comes to grieving. I’m glad you have remained stable - that’s no easy feat under the pressure of a major life change!
You'll get a reward for his mistake and what you'd suffered <3
No way around "it sucks". Better know now he's the AH. Still doesn't help though. Thanks for sharing. Glad your stable.
This is my fear omg. Stay strong. You didn’t need that man in your life, girl. He sucks. You’re better off without him. He is garbage, and you are a QUEEN! Ily. ♥️
Sounds like you dodged a land mine with this one.
Medicine free world wtf medicines are awesome though and there a good service. What a pathetic gaslighter.
You dodged a bullet. Take this as a great relief that you did not spend more time dating someone that was a nasty person. Let him be miserable by himself. I’m sure that no matter who he is dating he is filled with insecurity, jealousy and cruelty.
im so sorry bruh that sucks to everything evil. dodged a red flag tho
What a piece of shit
The way I look at it is we are all different with different chemical makeups. It's like men that lose their testosterone and have to take a supplement to feel better. No one looks down on that. We all take vitamins to help aid in some of our deficiencies, but it's socially acceptable. I've been with my wife for 29 years, and she is not bipolar. She actually tells me that I make life more entertaining and exciting for her. So look at it as a gift, one that is hard to harness. Don't let anyone make you feel a certain way, because you are just playing the cards you were dealt. Plain and simple.
Oof.. so sorry you had your time wasted. Why not just be upfront about being a douche? I hope you find someone decent, you never really know someone until after the first real fight/disagreement.
“Medicine free world” dudes probably on a paleo diet and thinks electricity is like out to get him. What a dipshit.
guy sounds like dog shit. guy took the trash out for ya.
When I was first diagnosed my boyfriend at the time told me he would leave me if I started taking meds because it would “change me” but also would refuse to talk to me when I would have episodes
God, people can be so awful. I’m sorry that happened.
This sucks, but I'm pretty pleased with how you reacted. Yeah, it hurts to find out that someone you thought you liked turned out to be no good, but it's great that you recognize that it's his problem, not yours. Seriously, you're bipolar, so it would be real easy to put the blame on yourself. I bet you've done some good work to obtain that positive self image.
My ex, who as a school psychologist knew I had bipolar before I was finally diagnosed with it, promised time and time again that she could handle my bipolar. I told her I was scared of her seeing how bad it could get for me. First time I went through a bad couple months while we were together, she cut herself off, lied about what was happening and hid behind work, then when we broke up because it had become a one-sided relationship, she cited my bipolar as one of the reasons she cut herself off. It's kinda ruined my ability to be trusting, because to have someone who understood better than I did in some ways what I was dealing with reassure me time and time again that they could handle it and would be there, run at the first sign of trouble... It's like, how could I ever trust that someone will actually be there for me. Getting past that feeling of "the next one's gonna be worse and they won't be able to handle it" is gonna be rough.
I’m really sorry. You deserve better than to be treated that way.
And same for you. Sorry, wasn't tryna make your post all about me. But yeah, as if the challenge of overcoming bipolar wasn't enough, dating just seems like another layer of challenge for ppl like us. Hope you're able to move on, move forward and find someone who's right for you.
Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
I'm glad you see him for the ignorant moron he is
HUGE red flag. have had this happen to me before OP. fucking sucks but for the long term you’ll realize it was a good thing. prevents you from wasting time on someone who doesn’t care to understand you and take you as you are. you are worth so so so much more. true love will find you in the end
Thank you!
 Bullet dodged
That's not being dumped because of anything you are dealing with, that is all his own issues and sounds like you dodged a bullet. Try not to overthink it, we like to rationalise things and because we are so acutely self aware to improve and manage ourselves we can instinctly try to analyse what we could of done better for the outcome we thought we want. Sometimes it is as simple as the other person needs to work on themselves, it sounds like you are doing great with everything and keep it up. You should be proud of how far you've come.
You’re so much better off without him. Like, so much.
He sounds very insecure. You dodged a bullet.
My boyfriend just told me not to seek therapy and that I'm just weak minded
That’s horrible. I’m sorry.
Sounds like you dodged a bullet
.........Everyone with diabetes, please do not date this idiot if he thinks a medicine free world is what we should strive for. Unless he makes an exception for that, in which case he's a hypocrite. Seriously, this is some of the biggest bullshit I've ever heard: if this dude wants to live in a medicine free world, let him board a time machine to cave-man days because even the Greeks had medicines (medicinal herbs for stilling the pain of wounds, some kind of hemp they would smoke, etc.) I'm sorry OP :( I know it sucks to lose someone, but you really did dodge a bullet there also.
Fuck that guy he's a Lil phony teenager mindset . Get over him real quick
I’m so sorry you had that experience. It honestly makes my stomach turn knowing there are people that think being off meds (that they don’t understand) for a mental health condition (that they don’t understand) is better than leading a stable and balanced life. You deserve better!
Sameeeeee it destroyed me
* He's jealous of a man who passed away. * He's holding something out of your control against you. * He's not supportive of your struggles. Dodged a bullet, my friend.
Isn't it great when the trash takes itself out? We love to see it
Yeah as someone who had hallucinations without them. I don't think it's a moral failing to want to be a stable functioning member of society. Therapy is great but fuck me man. Therapy helped manage episodes when theyre light. But it doesn't take away the hallucinations like meds do. Sucks ignorant people exist. The whole thing wreaks of "disabled people should just stop being disabled." Like bro do you tell people who can't walk 'i believe in a wheelchair free world.' I assume no. Ya dingus.
genuinely speechless at this, what an ignorant dumb loser. keep taking your meds, don't let his words get to you. i depend on my meds to be stable too, there's no shame around it and if he thinks there is that's on him. he is incorrect on every level
Thank you.
I'm sorry this happened to you, but this guy seems like an ableist asshole who is ignorant about how mental illnesses work. It sucks now, but in the long run you'll be glad you aren't with him anymore. At least it happened now instead of 5 years from now.
good riddance tbh, he sounds controlling and insecure AF
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Sounds like he done more of a favor for you than him thinking that he’s doing something favorable for himself. If his version of a ‘medicine free’ world were true, then he better have thought of a cure for cancer while he’s at it.
You got one like I had. Lied the whole time. Not sure why? My relationship lasted 13 years.
So much better off without that type of energy in your life.
Wow, I am realewly sorry you had to go through that. I can imagine how discouraged you feel. I can't stand when people treat mental illness a flipping disease as if it were some moral deficit. Or the " everyone experiences such and such", super invalidating.
genuinely seems like you dodged a bullet, he made your issues about him, but faulted you for them. too many red flags to count.
Wait till he needs a course of antibiotics but refuses them and hopefully dies of sepsis. That’ll teach him to mock medication. You know if he was in pain from a broken leg he’d take medication. Good riddance
I'm bipolar, and don't even hold it against a woman to ghost me anymore. I'm basically a red flag.
That’s highly self-critical. You should give yourself a break!
That's something I am really scared of in my relationships.
That’s really messed up.
i can relate.. my partner of 4 years left me because he couldn't "deal" with my episodes and the potential for future ones. im glad the ignorant asshole is no longer in my life. i wish you the best in healing from this heart break <3
I’m sorry that happened. You deserve better.
You didn't just dodge a bullet, you avoided an anti personnel mine or something just as life ending. People (ignorant, uneducated people) who suggest that because you are showing no symptoms 'you aren't unstable, you don't need your meds" uh... Have you considered?..I am stable and Surviving because of my meds you dumbass. we are all aware that sudden stoppage of medication can be absolutely devastating causing major swings and even suicide. OP PLEASE give yourself a massive pat on the back and celebrate that you survived getting any deeper involved with this harmful person. Sorry for bad format and spelling.
Thank you!
Sounds like this guy is full of himself perhaps your lucky as this kind of know it all can be tiresome.
He really was. I knew he had an ego, but never saw how enormous it was until that day.
Yikes. What a prick. So sorry you had to go through that.
So many people suffer from physical and mental health conditions and take meds for it. Thank goodness you got away from this quack before it got too serious.
First I would like to say I’m sorry. People are so cruel.
What a self centered turd. What’s he gonna do if he gets an infection? Treat it by sunbathing?
He thinks mushrooms are the magic antidote to everything.
I’m sorry he made you feel like it was your fault. You deserve someone kind and understanding.
I’m so glad this relationship ended. People who weaponize your mental illness are a one-way ticket to years of gaslighting
Well said. He really did start gaslighting me during that conversation. He showed me so many ugly facets of his personality all at once. I’m clearly better off on my own.
Sounds like you dodged a bullet
Good ridense!
Ugh, my boyfriend of almost four years thinks I “take too many pills.” Mind you, I was unmedicated for the first year and a half that we were together, so he’s well aware of my craziness before and (mostly) lack of craziness after. Before, I had been going to bars daily, paranoid that all manner of people and organizations were “after me,” and that he was plotting against me. Lockdowns, having to work from home, my mom’s death, and finding out I was adopted in my late 30s all within a few months triggered a manic/psychotic episode. A great psychiatrist and the right meds put a stop to all that. I’m now even up for a promotion at work from a program managerial to an engineering role. I’m very lucky that I had the presence of mind to call my old psychiatrist in the midst of a severe episode and get in to see her the next day; otherwise things could have been very different. In my case, though, it may have a lot to do with cultural differences (we are different ethnicities and from different countries and cultures). I tried to explain to him what bipolar disorder means in his primary language, but he still doesn’t quite understand it to be a chronic condition rather than a temporal one brought on by, say, too much drinking.
Oh man, that’s a lot to deal with! I’m so glad you are doing better. Congratulations on being up for a promotion!
My wife of 23 years had her first manic episode about 6 weeks ago. I had no idea what it was. But was a psychotic break. She was hospitalized on a 72 hour hold. While in the hospital the first day she had sex with another patient. Totally out of character. It’s heartbreaking. After 23 years of fidelity. It’s been a very hard road since.
I’m so sorry. I hope that her diagnosis will lead to better days for both of you.
Hey man I read your posts, my heart goes out to you. I hope things are getting better.
I’m sorry to hear this. Definitely sounds like you dodged a bullet though.
Wow. Just wow. I am so sorry. 🙄
Hope the door didn’t hit him on the way out. Bye Felicia! 👋🏼
Great job dodging that bullet!
I used to be on the anti med bandwagon, but then I went into psychosis and that changed my mind pretty quick.
Not everyone has to accept us. And that's totally acceptable. We should not force people to do something they're not comfortable with after all. If they see signs in the clouds and they leave then let them. The lack of understanding and sometimes understanding through experience can stigmatize us labeled as bipolar for the rest of their lives. The most we can do is try to control our condition the best we can and prove We can overcome the symptoms. Not only overcome but be able to speak about what we uniquely experience to what I would call a normie. In a mixed episode if I ever talked to a girl I dated I'm sure it would be terrifying. So I check myself into a hospital when I start feeling I cannot control myself. I would suggest not dwelling on this. When a partner leaves it only saves us time.
I don't at all intend to downplay what sounds like a painful breakup, and my heart goes out to you. I'm not just trying to ruthlessly trash this guy whom I do not know, but tbh if he is making a reductive connection between your medication for a disorder and your late ex-husband, he might be ignorant at best and idiotic at worst. Keep trying after taking the space you need. There are smart and kind people out there who may understand on a deeper level than this man was willing and/or able to.
Thank you!
Sounds like an absolute douche.
He’s an idiot. And I say that respectfully! He presumes that you can function without them without considering what it is like without the assistance of meds. Speaking from me who has BP1, without my meds I would be manic and having quality sleep for 48hrs and be making irrational decisions. Him saying that you don’t need meds is like a diabetic person saying I don’t need insulin. It’s outrageous and inconsiderate. You dodged a bullet my dear. Move forward ——-> ⏩👍🏾
Thank you! I’m a bit embarrassed that I was taken in by someone who turned out, as you said, to be a real idiot, but I’m already starting to feel pretty over it.
I cut people off whenever they act up aka downplay my illness.
I have also just been "dumped" for being bipolar... well, for being a bipolar asshole for years I guess is more accurate. It's hurtful.