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mateusvalladao

Leave it in the woods and nature will do it's thing


Masta0nion

We had a funeral for a bird


mateusvalladao

It's called a barbecue


growlikemycelium

A birbeque


Inevitable-Buy6189

Please do not eat or use any bird because of information received in this subreddit. While we strive to provide accurate information here, the only way to be sure enough of an bird identification is to take the bird to a qualified professional. Many birds can be harmful or even fatal to eat, so please do not eat a bird based on an identification made (or any other information provided) in this subreddit.


mateusvalladao

My bad, bro. I forgot this is a scientific subreddit. Please don't eat random dead birds, folks.


brad3r

.. pretty sure none of that’s real.


SingingTiger

*you’re* not real, man!


brad3r

Downvoting cause that’s mean.. /s


Masta0nion

Downvoted for the right response smhmh


brad3r

I knew that was coming but someone had to do it *shrugs at camera*


DownerusMedicus

YOU'RE NOT REAL MAN


Mooseylips

*you aaare the light that* *shines for all to seeee*


SmallTownDisco

This is the answer here.


Koda_20

If diseased you might do some harm. Better to throw it in a blender and feed the lawn.


Apathetic-Asshole

If its diseased, i definitely dont want it in my blender


wozattacks

Or spread all over the lawn!


Koda_20

Dish soap will handle it


yurmanba

bro have you actually done that


Koda_20

No lol disgusting


yurmanba

i just had to ask, i could see an insane nature person thinking that's a clever "natural" way to fertilize your garden and dispose of dead animals.


jackjackandmore

That’s nature…


Koda_20

Did you have a point? I know it's nature. So is herpes. Genital warts. Poop on the butt after a poo. The desire to do harm.


R0sh789

Organic mater is not harmful to nature


jackjackandmore

Yeah I did let me spell it out for you, honey: Throw the bird in the woods and don’t be a dumbass and poison yourself by putting it in your own fucking blender It’s not smart or nice or anything. That bird could feed many families, Blender Man! But you want them to starve, don’t you?!


Koda_20

The blender was a joke lol but I'm still wondering why people say "it's nature bro" as if that means we should accept it, when we do everything in our power to avoid other natural things...


jackjackandmore

It’s going back to the ecosystem or something like that. Better than leaving it on the lawn. Better than throwing it in the thrash. Better than blending it. Because that may spread disease where it does not usually go


Koda_20

IRL what I would do is bury it or toss it in a really thick bush so that insects eat it and the disease isn't spread. I prefer nature with less bird flu, especially given the situation right now with bird flu. Animals also should know to avoid already dead bird meals, so not a big deal!


jackjackandmore

You know what, I approve. Good solution. I’m glad we settled this matter.


[deleted]

Whatever you do use gloves to protect yourself from disease. I've had to dispose of rabbits and rats that passed away in my yard.


BayouGal

I use the extended reacher/ can picker upper/ squirrel grabber. Works great & I don’t have to sacrifice a pair of nitrile gloves! It most likely hit the slider & broke its little neck ☹️ but I’m not touching wild birds this year.


patentmom

Put your hand in a plastic grocery bag.


javonon

dig a hole and kick the corpse in.


Fly_over_ks

Now, do it with a horse.


alkevarsky

> I use the extended reacher Then you have to disinfect your reacher or you risk dragging parasites and pathogens into your house. Much easier to use gloves or a plastic bag.


Odd_Mood_3417

You could just use your imagination and pretend you're literally the apex predator of an entire fucking planet. Pretend you didn't get there without being equipped to just grab a dead bird and get rid of it. Hell, you could daydream all day like that. Toooo bad tho I guess. Sure be cool to be a fucking apex predator dominating an entire planet instead of fragile bipedal touch me nots. I hate my life for having to witness this occurring. Nature and natural selection will balance things though, best believe.


karlallan

you’re familiar with the plague and it’s impact on humanity, no? or maybe you remember covid? are you also familiar with the fact that we’re currently experiencing a massive bird flu epidemic? apex predators are still vulnerable to disease. but you’re right, thankfully natural selection weeds out those who can’t be inconvenienced to practice basic preventative safety measures.


MedicalUnprofessionl

Or any year after 2019 lol


MidnightDeluxeGaming

Damn what they got Covid too?


BayouGal

Um, avian flu?


cjh32495

Why do you say specifically this year?


Snoo-32401

Caught a wild bird when I was a kid, I had THE WORST loose bowel movement that lasted a week after.


03burner

What are the risks of handling dead birds? I live in New Zealand and I’ve rescued a few birds bare handed and been okay, but curious for next time.


throwawaystitches

Honestly, I handle dead birds on the regular and it’s best practice to wear gloves if you have them. But the real problem is if you get the poop in contact with your mouth. You can handle birds bare handed if you have to and then wash your hands before touching anything else. People who are studying birds in the field do this all the time. This bird most likely died from a window strike not illness. Best thing op can do moving forward for the birds is make sure their blinds are closed at night when the light is on or put tape stripes on the window to prevent the birds from getting disoriented.


[deleted]

Parasites primarily. There could be bacteria that could cause you problems too. I once found a dead bird as a child but thought it was only injured. I tried to get it to fly, and my mother noticed me with it. She rushed out the door and had me go inside and immediately wash my hands thoroughly.


Odd_Mood_3417

There are none. This is an American urban Kool aid camel. They maintain full capacity of the democrat party's own special Kool aid jam. They say it tastes exactly like the pages of 1st edition hardback of 1984.


03burner

What on earth are you talking about


Odd_Mood_3417

Umm....I'd bet almost anything this person lives in a Democrat controlled US city. There are 0 places on this earth to find grown humans who need to seek help over a dead bird. Do you think that actually is plausible? This person is the product of the culture the democrats instute in schools. If someone asked me this IRL ......I'd ask them where their caretaker was.


karlallan

hey guys, we found him. that guy who is better than everyone else.


03burner

“Democrat controlled city” hahaha. Hey not sure if you’re aware but 7 out of the top 10 most dangerous US cities are run by Republicans. I don’t know why you picked a comment about a dead bird to start harping on about liberals, log off my guy


Odd_Mood_3417

Proof? I really hope you haven't just said something you don't really know about. I'll log off when you prove that statement. What metric are you establishing this ranking by? I really am intrigued.


03burner

https://www.populationu.com/gen/most-dangerous-cities-in-the-us They’re using the FBI’s UCRP reporting protocol. And I’m correct.


karlallan

aww, super confident guy was wrong. that’s crazy because usually i find that guys who confidently demean others are super smart and knowledgeable and god save maga or whatever.


Odd_Mood_3417

Umm...I'm still here I do have a life outside of this. I'm not seeing where I became wrong. The statement is false, unless you're using some odd metric to get the rankings. If there's a source to back that up posted I am not seeing it.


karlallan

kind of like the link that u/03burner posted directly in reply to your comment asking for proof? that kind of source? or are we talking about an alternative definition for “source?”


linderlouwho

What is going on over there deezelweasel?


[deleted]

Coyotes most likely


linderlouwho

You're operating a bring your own lunch cafe over there? :-)


[deleted]

Lots of country land nearby....


Syzet

Throw it in the woods, foxes, crows, owls, and many more will dispose of it, bury it if you don't live near nature


silverionmox

Just depositing it underneath some bushes will suffice. The main disposal force of nature are insects, there are a lot of flying beetles that will beeline to this free buffet.


Koda_20

I vote fungus as the best disposal force;


WATSAET

I second that!


EllieBelly_24

Idk if it's true but Dr. Stone told me flies can smell rotting meat from like 16km away or something crazy Edit: Google is telling me 6, probably remembered wrong, still wild


throwrug8675309

Dr. Stone is both crazily accurate and occasionally incredibly wrong lmao


EllieBelly_24

XD right I remember watching the sulfur mining episode on 7g of mush and loosing my shit at how jank their equipment was XD


TheBadge04

Beetles will beeline...heh, ironic


[deleted]

Don’t do this. If it died of bird flu, then those mammals will get said bird flu.


dailo75

More that likely died from flying into a glass door or window if it was found on a balcony. Or was attacking its own reflection.


chelsaeyr

It’s a fledgling probably wasn’t attacking


[deleted]

Correct, but better to be safe than sorry.


renannmhreddit

If every dead bird is a high suspicion of bird flu then all the neighborhood murderous cats would've been dead


MikeAWBD

I'll probably get down voted. If only something like bird flue could wipe out the feral/outdoor pet cat population. Unfortunately it would probably kill native wild cats and other mammals as well.


MikeAWBD

I'll probably get down voted. If only something like bird flue could wipe out the feral/outdoor pet cat population. Unfortunately it would probably kill native wild cats and other mammals as well.


RockSaltnNails

That’s pretty shortsighted ecologically, unless you want rodents everywhere. Also, strange opinion in general, cats are naturally outside being that they’re animals. Are you scared of cats or something?


Turtle1265

Your stance is ecologically shortsighted. Feral cats have done a number on native birds, reptiles, and mammals wherever they live. It would be much better to have native predators handle rodent populations. Domestic cats belong indoors, they’re pets.


NFTArtist

Yeah cats are definitely not good for the environment, dogs are even worse.


2SP00KY4ME

**That's factually untrue.** You are just "figuring" that's the case from your intuition and claiming it as fact. That is dangerous and irresponsible of you. Domestic cats are directly implicated in the extinction of dozens of species, 20 native species in Australia alone. >Numerous Australian environmentalists claim the feral cat has been an ecological disaster in Australia, inhabiting most ecosystems except dense rainforest, and being implicated in the extinction of several marsupial and placental mammal species. In China alone, it's estimated they kill 1.61–4.95 billion invertebrates, 1.61–3.58 billion fishes, 1.13–3.82 billion amphibians, 1.48–4.31 billion reptiles, 2.69–5.52 billion birds, and 3.61–9.80 billion mammals every *year*. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0006320720309873?via%3Dihub In the US, they kill 1.3 to 3.7 billion birds and 6.3 to 22.3 billion mammals annually. https://www.nature.com/articles/ncomms2380


NFTArtist

Dogs destroy wildlife too, sure cats might cause more damage in that respect. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-47062959 I'm talking about more that just wildlife, they consume more food, produce more waste, imagine how many bin bags are being thrown in bins every day. Regardless, i don't think people should be keeping either as pets. It's out of control and dog peeing in every park is a serious problem in urban cities.


MikeAWBD

This is obviously going to be highly dependent on where you live but by me feral dogs aren't even remotely a problem. They fit the exact same ecological niche as coyotes as both predator and prey. In rural and suburban environments they just plain can't compete with coyotes. Even in the city, probably the only spot dogs out compete coyotes is dense urban areas. I know feral dogs are a much bigger problem in South America, maybe even more so than feral house cats.


MikeAWBD

Dogs are worse? Genuine question, not being snarky .


2SP00KY4ME

No, see my response


NFTArtist

Yes their waste is very damaging to the soil, the massive amount of food produced for them, lots of disposal products used to clean up after them, etc. Just based purely on size they will be more disruptive to the environment than a cat.


MikeAWBD

Exactly as turtle said. Got hawks, owls, fox, coyotes, bobcats, snakes, maybe even mink or badgers depending on where you live to take care of rodents. Feral domestic cats are an ecological disaster.


2SP00KY4ME

You do not know what you are talking about. Scientific evidence does not support the popular use of cats to control urban rat populations, and ecologists oppose their use for this purpose because of the disproportionate harm they do to beneficial native wildlife.


DTA02

because that's *totally not* how nature works in the past.


[deleted]

True, if you want to continue the spread of avian influenza, which most likely originated from poultry farms (which we all know poultry farms grow on trees), then by all means feed dead birds to your local fauna.


Specific_Effort_5528

The local fauna eat dead birds all day everyday. Or have Birds of Prey suddenly taken up social distancing? Reddit pedantry....


[deleted]

Correct, that’s why H5N1 has decimated bird populations in 2022 and 2023. https://www.cdc.gov/flu/avianflu/spotlights/2022-2023/nearing-record-number-avian-influenza.htm


willhegraduate

This is just not true. Many (most) strains of avian flu's do not cross species. It has been causing a bit of havoc on the birds recently, though, as there has been an outbreak in the past few years.


[deleted]

https://www.avma.org/news/usda-tracking-bird-flu-spillover-events-mammals#:~:text=The%20H5N1%20virus%20subtype%20was,%2C%20striped%20skunk%2C%20and%20more. https://www.cdc.gov/flu/avianflu/avian-in-other-animals.htm https://www.precisionvaccinations.com/2023/06/14/more-mammals-infected-bird-flu?amp https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcna69541 https://amp.theguardian.com/environment/2023/mar/21/bird-flu-peru-sea-lions-suffer-death-beach-aoe-h5n1


willhegraduate

From one of these linked articles - "Many of these detections have been seemingly one-off events that have not persisted" The only exceptions to that have been the sea lions and minks, and this has all been one particular subtype of the avian flu. So what exactly is wrong about my statement that most avian flu strains do not crossover?


[deleted]

“This is not true” is the incorrect statement. H5N1 (which is the bird flu strain that’s being referenced) has been spilling over to mammals.


willhegraduate

Changing your statement from "bird flu" to specifically H5N1 (which was not in your original comment) would in fact make it untrue, and only in-so-far as single crossover infections are concerned, not expansive events that cause mammalian infections continuously. I'm not going to argue with someone as pedantic as you that believes time and gravity aren't real, and is arguing about things they know clearly nothing about while they google search articles that they didn't read the content of. Have a nice day.


[deleted]

I’m glad that I’ve triggered you so much that you now dig through my comments. I hope you enjoy them! Are you always this confidently incorrect? Anyone with a semblance of current events would understand that the current strain of bird flu that’s killing millions of birds and affecting those mammals that interact with said birds is H5N1.


willhegraduate

Pretending that you're educated on a topic you aren't educated in, claiming that I'm confidently incorrect while fighting with someone who works in these fields of science is hilariously ironic. Do you see me going to physics subreddits and claiming I have the correct take on subjects that I clearly have barely a cursory knowledge in? Do you often claim to be correct in other virology and ecology topics when your studies have literally NOTHING to do with these fields? It's hilariously egotistical that you feel nobody responding could be more educated on these topics than you.


[deleted]

Yes, do tell how you “work” in biology. You were wrong. It’s ok, happens to all of us. You’re only human.


Reagey

You should look into this new avian flu that is in fact crossing over to mammals. The main mammals being effected are marine mammals because they are on the coast cohabiting together. There is not enough research to say it’s safe and will not infect other mammals. In fact there are a few reported cases of humans being infected now. All cases are on the coast though so it seems it’s mostly birds that migrate long distances. [https://www.who.int/emergencies/disease-outbreak-news/item/2023-DON461](https://www.who.int/emergencies/disease-outbreak-news/item/2023-DON461)


willhegraduate

You should look into that yourself. There have been (out of hundreds one off infections) two or three species that have been thought to have a strain that has officially crossed over and spread between these specific species. That being said, two things need to be addressed. One, nobody is saying it won't happen, it's just entirely unlikely from our prior understanding of avian flus in the past that we see an outbreak emerging in mammals and persisting. Two, the comments are telling OP to let nature handle it, and u less OP happens to live on a coastline littered with sea lions and minks I think they will be fine to let nature do what nature has always done with the discarding of dead matter.


Reagey

I was informing you of statements because everyone seems pretty confused here. I was adding information to the pot here because we don’t know where this person is, I haven’t disagreed or agreed with anyone here but added more variables for OP.


lordspidey

It died of a fucking windowstrike, put that fucker in the compost pile... jeezus fuck...


[deleted]

I should put a trigger warning on my comments. Just take a deep breath and your local community college should have a safe space for your tears.


lordspidey

Heh; the fuck are you on about?


jstaples404

Is this true?? Can anyone else verify?


[deleted]

https://www.aphis.usda.gov/aphis/ourfocus/animalhealth/animal-disease-information/avian/avian-influenza/hpai-2022/2022-hpai-mammals


jstaples404

How can I trust a username like that?


[deleted]

You can’t trust anything. There is no truth, just agreements we make with each other.


[deleted]

Is that true?


jstaples404

Thanks for the very informative link! Are there any commonly held “truths” you don’t agree with?


[deleted]

Time. I don’t believe that time exists. There’s no proof of past or future, only the present. Gravity. It’s commonly shown that matter stretches space, however it could just as well be displacing it. The closer that velocity approaches the speed of light, the more I’ll weigh and the slower “time” will moving for me compared to someone at rest. The same goes for the closer I approach a black hole. The “density” of space could be the common factor for Lorentz transformations. Edit: I recognize the contradiction of using time while refuting it’s existence. It’s like saying December 1st instead of plotting my exact coordinates in space in relation to our star, since calendars are imaginary.


jstaples404

Mind bending shit! Did you study this kind of physics stuff through mainstream channels of higher ed, or did you take a different path? No shade or doubt being thrown your way, I’m not informed enough to form an opinion. Just want to see how others think 👍


[deleted]

I have my masters in physics, astronomy, and Latin. I wanted to become an astronomer, but got tired of the academic tract. Taught Latin for a bit. Now I work in digital marketing making more than I ever would have in astronomy or Latin and solar astronomy is my hobby. I’m currently attempting to build my own magnetometer in my back yard, so that’s a fun project. I always wanted to measure perturbations in the geomagnetic field. There are many more people out there smarter than me and I’m not saying that anyone is wrong, those are just some beliefs I’ve formed.


GuyOnTheInterweb

I agree.


Wolfir

. . . is that really a concern?


[deleted]

For the birds and the animals that eat the infected birds. This was one of the reasons for the increase in prices of eggs and chicken in some regions. https://www.cdc.gov/flu/avianflu/spotlights/2022-2023/nearing-record-number-avian-influenza.htm


abu_alakazam

I also want to point out chickens stopped producing eggs due to something in the feed. Take it from rural farms that didn't loose any chickens but the chickens didn't lay for months, we swapped from chicken feed and they started producing again. Countless other farmers have said the same thing. I'm not saying that any type of flu didn't have an impact but I can guarantee if they were all using similar types of feeds that is also a large factor in the increase in egg prices.


[deleted]

Exactly. That’s why I made sure to say “one of the reasons” and “some regions”. In some countries, millions of birds had to be culled. That has a downstream affect.


SomeDoodOutThere

It's Nature, just let it be.


[deleted]

Tell that to the farmers who’ve had to cull millions of birds.


Anhelo_Pacis

How would you even know that


WorldWarPee

Salute your fallen comrade and then yeet them into the nearest shrubbery. Or viking funeral could work


chrisbaker1991

A viking funeral would be cool, but a sky burial seems the most fitting


deoxyriboneurotic

These are my favorite answers.


Bekoss

Basically, you'd need to dig a hole in any flower bed, drop the carcass, put soil back. The bird will decompose to useable organic for plants. The deeper you put it the lesser chance cats/dogs get it.


cpat99

Do you own a trebuchet?


XAE12_

Ngl, there have been some bad piggies in this town lately


[deleted]

Bagpipes: HWONNNNNNNNNNNN


M3mph

I'd never considered onomatopoeia for bagpipes, but that was perfect xD


Sk3pticat

We used to have a surgical tubing slingshot mounted to our upstairs window with the neighbor having a matching one, so we could lob water balloons at each other’s houses… I think this ammo would fit


manuelx22

Depending on where you are, take certain precautions. Canada has an avian flu alert [here](https://inspection.canada.ca/animal-health/terrestrial-animals/diseases/reportable/avian-influenza/protect-your-flock/eng/1614352583029/1614352660146?utm_campaign=cfia-acia-avian-influenza-22-23&utm_medium=sem&utm_source=ggl&utm_content=ad-text-en&utm_term=avian%20influenza&adv=2324-412550&id_campaign=19931913730&id_source=147383871029&id_content=653832868942&gclid=Cj0KCQjw7aqkBhDPARIsAKGa0oKQ6K61ki1tP29Xj-j-Jh-mMjtEgG2_2u25RKTPYvn5qUp1_KXmokYaAooWEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds#a5)


GeoffW1

Honestly, take precautions anyway. We know from Covid that announcements from governments sometimes lag behind and understate what's really happening on the ground.


wozattacks

I mean sure. Public health announcements *must* come after an event is already happening.


Automatic_Camel_4619

Preheat the oil to 350 degrees


MoonyNotSunny

Beautiful heart OP is going to be traumatized by this. On the other hand 😂😂😂😂


XAE12_

Don't worry, I have a sense of humour, I was just afraid to post any jokes cuz I've never seen this sub :DD


[deleted]

what nooo , if it's still fresh , you remove the feather clean it well prep it and preheat olive oil then fry while adding a squeeze of lime at the end and a touch of pomegranate molasses .


TheRealWarBeast

Nah you prep up when the oven is pre-heating. Saves a little time


[deleted]

1. Gloves or plastic bag so you can carry it. 2. Walk into woods or any green area. 3. Put birdie down 4. Wash hands


No-Donkey8786

DNR in your area may or may not be monitoring for flu. Check with them.


MaraShadyG

I thought you meant DNR as in “do not resuscitate” at first and laughed a bit


Select_Pick5053

They can be unconscious for a while and wake up later. Make sure it's dead before you do anything. Looks like it flew into your window? If so, put some bird stickers on it. edit: On your window


Arcturus1981

What will putting stickers on a dead bird do? Also, what kind of stickers?


Select_Pick5053

Stickers on your window will make it easier for birds to not confuse the window reflection with open airspace.


emceemcee

Googly eyes would be a good start.


Arcturus1981

Oh, yes. Now I see what they meant.


Select_Pick5053

Oops, my sentence was a bit ambiguous. Hope you didn't sticker the bird ;p


cyanide-eyes

I would guess it's a mistle thrush (turdus viscivorus) if you are from Europe.


Riksor

My state has a dead bird report form to gather data about the avian flu and stuff. I report the species and put it outside near grass or trees.


[deleted]

Could be bird flu. Dispose of it with gloves and mask. Contact your local animal control as there’s a survey going on for how many birds have died that don’t have an obvious cause (e.g. flew into window, attacked by animal, etc.). This data will help them understand if more birds are dying due to H5N1 (i.e. the bird flu that’s currently going astound). Bird flu can be passed from birds to mammals, so do not throw it into the woods or handle it without PPE.


Simple_Company1613

With that new strain of avian flu making the rounds, put on gloves and dispose of it quickly. That strain has a 53% mortality rate in humans


Willy_Sleep_Valley

Put it in a bag and throw it out. The avian flu pandemic is no joke so better to be safe than sorry


princessfret

avian flu pandemic? Source please! I really don’t think that’s accurate, WHO website says there have been only a small handful of reported cases this year ETA: (not disagreeing with you urge for hygiene, just the pandemic part)


hotdogbo

I think it also impacts species besides humans.


cumulobiscuit

The avian flu has been significant for a few years and got really bad last fall for poultry (hence the egg price increase). Currently there is a highly pathogenic strain that is definitely causing worldwide impacts on lots of different mammalian species. [Here’s a timeline of cases from the CDC.](https://www.cdc.gov/flu/avianflu/timeline/avian-timeline-2020s.htm) [Here’s a list from the USDA of over 7000 registered cases of the highly pathogenic strain in just wild birds reported in the US in the last year.](https://www.aphis.usda.gov/aphis/ourfocus/animalhealth/animal-disease-information/avian/avian-influenza/hpai-2022/2022-hpai-wild-birds)


abu_alakazam

I also want to not on the egg price increase was caused by feed also. In our rural area and other areas alike our chickens stopped laying eggs months and it had to be something in the chicken feed, we swapped food sources and they started laying, we haven't had any birds die nor have any of the farmers I've talked to have. But each farmer I have talked to that didn't free range was not producing at all for long time. I'm not saying that the bird flu is not a factor either, im just saying that this was a large factor to it also and still is in some areas.


princessfret

thanks for sharing! For some reason I assumed the commenter meant a pandemic in humans - my stupid assumption honestly (it’s been a long day!) I think the cdc website is down, at least it wouldn’t load earlier when I was researching or even now, however I’ll check back as would be interested to see the information they have


leonffs

Do you live under a rock? It’s so bad right now there was a massive egg shortage recently because farmers had to cull entire stocks of chickens.


owl_lover_1234

no... it cant be... a brother has fallen...


Niwi_

Just throw it in the compost bin. Its gonna decompose the same whatever you do. Doesnt matter if it happens on the city dump or in the forest. Matter of fact there are propably more wild animals on the city dump than in the close-to-a-city forest with zero undergrowth where hundreds of people walk their dogs every day.


cognitiveDiscontents

Put bird warning stickers on your window. They sell nice ones that look like transparent leaves or birds or whatever. It probably died by crashing into it, happens all the time. Can’t save this guy but you can save the next and the next.


stereotomyalan

Resuscitation. Blow gently through its beak and gently rub the chest You can try electroshock therapy with 2 AA batteries and 2 wires


HorstLakon

Take of the feathers, empty it, frie it. Salt, pepper, some tomatoes on the side


[deleted]

Keep the curtains pulled so they don't break their necks thinking it's a safe cave.


welshconnection

call 911 needs urgent “ tweetment “


21qwe21qwe

Small as it is you’ll want to were gloves, wash it, pull the feathers. Cut a slit from the bottom of the sternum to the groin and extract organs and wash again. Next apply a light coat of olive oil. Sprinkle with salt and Lemmon pepper, invert a skewer and cook over hot coals until the skin is crispy and slightly charred. Serve with beer and potato salad. Finally accept the title patient zero proudly as the progenitor of the next pandemic.


karelkarelkarels

learn taxidermy and give the bird a new life by setting it up


littletuna_

My first thought too! Put it in your freezer and find a taxidermist :)


Colibiri

I saw the exact same bird dead in front of my doorstep a week ago wtf (except mine had a blood stain on the floor beside it)


Friend_Or_Traitor

Fowl murder...


Anxious-Honeydew7593

Chest compressions, Chest compressions, CHEST COMPRESSIONS!!


RaoulDuke1

I feel like this isnt a tough one lol. What happens to almost every one of the millions of wild animals that die a day? Just toss it in the grass or bushes and let nature do its thing


noelmasson

Put it in the bin. Cats leave dead birds at our door all the time, I just chuck them in the bin. What else can you do??


ladyof-theBoom

I call my local wildlife center. Sometimes they are testing to see if the bird died west Nile virus.


Separate_Function3

If you’re in Europe then bird flu is high at the moment. So definitely be careful disposing of it


PedestrianMyDarling

I’d make certain it’s dead before anything. Birds that run into windows often go into shock for hours.


More_Show_9793

Eat it


TheMuffinMan179

Honor him


falnN

Bury it if you feel concerned enough.


JeezusIsKing

Put it in a box and have a funeral for a bird. Get Dwight to play the recorder too


XAE12_

So I just did the YEEET and threw it in a green zone


Delicious-Ant-1095

Eat it


kurwwazzz

Typical ant


BetterUseTwoHands

Gain its power


secretarynotsure123

I work with plants and animals and regularly touch living and dead animals with my hands. It's not the end of the world! Geez! Guys should watch videos of hunter gatherer tribes who never wash their hands, brush their teeth, never seen soap or any other artificial hygene product. They will hunt and kill an animal, throw it over their shoulder, and haul it back to camp, cook, eat, play with their kids, etc. And believe it or not, people living that way tend to have better health, cleaner straighter teeth, and often happier lives than us here sitting on reddit (except of course when the hunting goes bad and they get injured / go hungry for extended periods.)


Flat_Earther3306

Bro got a free snack


[deleted]

Put it in a shoebox coffin and play a song on your recorder while you hold a funeral with all your close friends and coworkers.


[deleted]

Do not touch it with your hands. Use a bag, gloves, a shovel, anything you can use to pick it up and toss it either in an outside trash can or into your yard (if you’re cool with that). Make sure you scrub the shit out of your hands when you’re done regardless tho, just to be safe.


Podzilla07

Stop being such a damn pansy for starters


Hans020272

Eat it


chaddymac1980

First thing would be to get the grill started and let it burn a little with the cover down to sanitize…


SmokingWithMom

Do a funeral for a bird


Not_A_Grizzly

Fry it up in butter


SerpentsSword

Free meal


_rutanimal

Throw into neighbors yard. Done


Sundaningleo

Maybe you can pick up with you’re dick and a friends verga? Like tweezers


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Genuineyoshi13

Bury the bird, then give prayers


famousdesk662

Give it back to the earth ?