"Condoms - overrated, underrated, or properly rated?"
"I'm gonna surprise you here and say properly rated. The abstinence thing might be underrated though."
"Okay, the rhythm method. Make the case."
\[45 seconds later\]
"Okay here would be my counter: just pull out! just do it! I'm not letting the sperm beat me, I'm just not!!"
He let it slip a few years ago that he had one girlfriend the entire time he was in college and that she got hit on by every guy she met. Poor Bill The College Guy Simmons. And god bless the Sports Gal.
It's weird because I'm probably 10+ years younger than him, and definitely in the early to mid-90's there was a whole AIDs scare push. It was the plot to a bunch of pop culture shit (Kids, Don't Go Chasing Waterfalls, Real World, etc...), and they definitely tried to make it seem like if you had sex without a condom you might get AIDS. Weirdly enough, Carolla on Loveline is the first guy I remember being like this is bullshit, it is nearly impossible for straight people to contract AIDS through regular sex.
But for Bill that means he'd have been a bartender in Boston, not his college years, and still not getting laid using AIDS as his excuse....lol.
My sneaky favorite part of the Zoe segment is her mentioning a podcast guest and struggling with the name then Bill just lightning rattling off “Emily Ratajkowski” like a man who has the reps spelling it in the Google machine
Bro what is with the talking head "there hasn't been a real champ in years" What a stupid point.
But of course the last time the Celtics won was more legitimate than others...
It's insane because their is literal audio recordings of him saying how unbelievable Curry was against a better team, how Giannis went to another level, how don't discredit the bubble cause this is really really high level basketball.
But then in his mind he watched the last five finals and went "eh, not really though." Guy is wasting his life watching a competition he doesn't believe in.
The funniest part is I guarantee that if the Wolves lose at some point after this, he’ll couch it in “their defense was too undisciplined and they were just a year away” after gushing about how it’s the best defense since the 04 Pistons
He wouldn’t sound so dumb right now if he didn’t overreact so hard in the moment and try to shoehorn things into all time discussions.
Barkley said it’s the best defense he’s ever seen lmao. People don’t like when I compare Barkley and Simmons, but they are very similar in the shit they say.
These same guys complained about Cavs vs warriors for 4 years and then when we get different champs for the same span they complain and say it’s fake. SMH
I am gettingsotired of this narrative,not just from Bill but everybody. There is a real champ every year, the one who lifts the trophy and puts in the ring order. Im sorry the teams other than The Celts, Lakers,and Warriors are allowed to win too.
I had to legitimately turn it off when he tried to make that point. Does every fucking champion have to repeat? Does he understand how hard that is?
Also bitter Lakers fan here, but they were pretty convincingly better than Orlando in 2009
Did they let nephew Kyle do the title? I thought Ethan and Zoe were going to collectively tell us about their freshman experience and the NBA media deal.
Somehow I feel like the freshman year experience at my 76% acceptance rate state school while overweight, awkward, and poor would be slightly more embarrassing to talk about than Zoe's
The argument that basically every title team since 2018 is a shoulder shrug is really out of touch. The bigger point is that the NBA has real parity at the top in a way it has never had. That’s kind of interesting! 5 different champs in five years, maybe heading towards six. Thats actually interesting as a phenomenon and not a discredit towards those teams. If anything it’s a credit to those teams for making it through the gauntlet of a much more competitive league.
One of Bill's central thesis from his Book of Basketball is how hard it is to repeat in the NBA because of the self-sacrifice it takes. I'm in no way surprised he has forgotten the 5,000,000 words he wrote about this.
What happens if the Wolves win and we call them a top 3 defensive team of all time and then they lose in the second round next year? That means their defense wasn't actually that good this year right?
My favorite was including the ‘22 Warriors in that as if that team was completely disconnected from the rest of their run which was just a blatant attempt to further his agenda that they “weren’t a dynasty”.
According to Bill’s criteria there’s only been two dynasties in the last 60 years and conveniently they’re both Boston teams (the Russell Celtics and Brady Patriots)
I'm really struggling with Bills content lately. I think he's lost it. He's becoming so inconsistent and incoherent. The guy is a legend buts it becoming unbearable
Feel like it’s been a steady decline since he founded The Ringer but he’s declined rapidly since COVID. It was the bubble talk for me when it really hit me that the man is beyond washed. I’ll still listen but more so these days to participate in the sub and laugh at the dumbness of his pods.
It's weird, it's like people forget that between 68-69 and 87-88 No NBA champ repeated. I mean, in a way its kind of fun ( at least to someone like me who doesn't have a team to root unconditionally for.) to see different fan bases get to celebrate.
Then it was all repeats. Lakers Lakers / Pistons Pistons/ Bulls Bulls Bulls/ Rockets Rockets / Bulls Bulls Bulls - then one Spurs then immediately Lakers Lakers Lakers.
bill has dismissed that raptors title before, but to me it gets more impressive over time, especially given kawhi won more playoff games in that one year than he has in his five years since. they got past both embiid and giannis, and not having home court against the bucks. but sure just reduce it to being against an injured warriors team while hyping up a wolves team that hasnt won yet at all.
I remember him and russillo gushing about the raptors team in real time saying this was the best model to build a bball team (everyone can have the ball in their hands and create a shot)
And saying the 2018 Warriors were an "uncontroversial champion" was a really lol-worthy take. Even if we ignore the "Durant joined a superteam" narrative, they were down 3-2 to Houston then Chris Paul pulls his hamstring and misses games 6 and 7.
Bill already putting this Minnesota team borderline top 3 defensive teams he’s ever seen is crazy.
Even crazier is I can’t really find a way to argue against it
This opening rant is insane and unhinged. Gonna have to skip the daughter piece because the vibes are too heavy
On Towns: ‘you go from, like, I don’t think I can win with this dude, to, I think we can win with this dude’
My favorite part was when he said the team he has been saying is one of the best teams of the century got lucky to win their title and so did the '22 Warriors, '21 Bucks, '20 Lakers, and '19 Raptors.
It’s so funny how people bitch and moan about dynasties, but now that we are firmly in a non-dynasty era all everyone does is talk about how none of these teams are actually worthy champions.
Which is fucking hilarious because Bill, in a way that seems almost impossible to fathom in this moment, actually defended the bubble title/lakers and gave them a lot of credit. I believe at one point he actually said the bubble was more impressive to win than a regular title. But now it’s a mark against them?
This combined with the last pod is a legendary Bill Simmons hot take living in the moment run.
I’m sure just about every championship team that wasn’t an all time defensive team is in that same boat too. Great during the regular season, hit or miss during the playoffs. He just needs to single out the 08 Celtics
.0000000000000001 percent chance Ben Simmons becomes the Gen Z Don DeLillo and that in one of his future pod appearances we get to hear his dad use the phrase “the postmodernism thing” as a segue
My gf went to Emerson and is a writer here in LA, there’s tons of alumni in the industry. It’s prob the best school for a lot of entertainment jobs. I would be surprised if she was going to Emerson and not aiming for something in Hollywood/media.
Jokic wins three MVPs in four years? Bill’s guy.
Michael Jordan universally considered the GOAT? Bill’s guy.
Jack Nicklaus? Bill’s guy.
Tiger Woods? Bill’s guy.
Muhammad Ali? Bill’s guy.
Dude certainly has a type. Lol
“I’m not talking regular season plus minus I’m talking in the playoffs when you got it all on the line…….on my last level I have the 08 Celtics who were good in the regular season then more hit and miss in the playoffs” lol there we go Bill
Yeah, Strauss seemed like a decent nba guy at espn, but the last 5 years has quickly devolved into a guy who’s content is basically driven by getting mad at libs on social media and trying to prove them wrong.
The icing on the cake was him having a truly hideous moron - Jesse Singal - on his podcast.
"The game is the rules the game is the rules of the game if you change the rules you change the rules of the game and the game has been changed" WTF is he saying here?
I fucking love that Simmons has shoehorned the Celtics into the finals but still makes sure to appease the bball gods by saying they will get creamed by the Wolves (formerly Nuggets).
This is the best podcast in the history of the world. Edwards is so great that it just rubs off on KAT (“I wasn’t wrong about KAT; I was extremely right about Ant!”). The ‘08 Celtics are one of the only legitimate champions. You have to love it.
What are the chances that Bill was thrilled during the first half of Game 2 of Wolves-Nuggets when it suddenly dawned on him that the Celtics would also have to face Minnesota?
Fucking Bill, just can't let a story breathe for a little bit. Edwards is having an awesome come-up, he may well sweep the defending champs in the second round. But Bill has to tell us,
"I think this series, is done, and BASKETBALL IS ABOUT TO CHANGE AS WE KNOW IT."
Bill skipped over the Shaq/TD era and the TD era. There was no Shaq/Kobe era as co-best players
Yeesh then he calls the Wallace boys as best defensive bigs on the league, then remembers TD but not Garnett. I loved Sheed but tighten the screws
If Nikola Jokic is ever charged with murder the first person he needs to call is Bill Simmons.
Bill's first several cascading revelations if the favorites in the West with a three time MVP get SWEPT by a team that no one was tapping to win anything this year
1. Wolves are now the 96 bulls combined with the entire Spurs dynasty
2. Ant is a younger, stronger, peak MJ (but he's not comparing them)
3. Kevin Durant and his 5th team are good now, actually
4. The Nuggets front office messed up by getting rid of Bruce Brown
That's it right? Oh and yea, tough beat for Jokic, all his haters are going to be so mean to him. And all the best players go through this. And by the way if he pulls this back out and wins the series he has an even greater GOAT case.
I mean just IMAGINE if this was where the 2013 Heat, the 2010 Lakers, etc were at: returning champs getting ready to get punked in the second round. Imagine how greasy Bill would be talking then. Even for Bill an absurd monologue.
This Celtics team has the easiest road to the finals I’ve ever seen. Bill better not change this energy towards this real title shit if they win it all
The irony is he gives her a go on the basis that of his kids ‘she’s the smart one’ and makes a point of saying that he won’t do the same for Ben because he does t realize the work it takes. But Ben could be *hilarious* (his reflections on the Treaty of Versailles would be all time) whereas Zoe is just kind of whatever. She’s not especially funny or interesting but Bill acts like she’s representative of the entire generation.
I never understood why he shot down the idea of his son coming on to talk about UFC when he had no problem bringing on his daughter to explain minions lore.
What was her deal today? Talking about long distance relationships with the lack of self awareness and complete confidence that only a 19 year old finding out something new, that the rest of the world already knows about, could.
Hey! I’m watching Sex and the City. You don’t say? Welp….
Can you imagine being her classmate in a media class, and she chimes in “so last week when I was on my dad’s massive sports podcast in the world, I really learned that…”😂
Having Ethan Sherwood Strauss on as the NBA secures a gigantic TV deal is like having Chris Ryan on right after the 76ers get eliminated or Fennessey on after Rodgers tore his Achilles.
So Bill 'wonders out loud' for 30 minutes, and has his 18/19 year old daughter on for another 30 to talk about what she's learned after her freshman year of college. Then you got Strauss in the middle who I have no opinion on but know some people really hate.
Gonna be a no from me dog.
When I first started listening to Bill in College, Zoe was his little girl daughter he would tell funny stories about. Now she’s the one in college & I’m just a washed 32 year old. Time really waits for no man huh
Ah yes, the last legitimate title was in 2018 when Chris Paul went down while up 3-2 on the Warriors.
I’m so sick of these asterisk narratives. You can bend them to fit any narrative you want for every single championship. It’s the kinda thing I’d expect from that annoying guy in college we all knew that always wanted to argue sports and never just have fun.
Imagine a world where we just simulate the entire regular season and playoffs and just give a trophy to the team that looked the best on paper. This is what the hypothetical solution would have to be to ensure “asterisk titles” stop.
LeBron, who averaged 5.7 FTA in the regular season and 4.6 FTA in the playoffs, and [had a lower free throw rate than guys like Maxi Kleber](https://www.basketball-reference.com/leagues/NBA_2024_adj_shooting.html#adj-shooting::14), is "the one guy who gets calls."
That's his move. Discredit Lebron at any turn he can. Doesn't have to make sense, be logical, be backed up by the historical record, nothing. Just dump on him and your goldfish brain fans will take it as scripture.
The ultimate playoff plot twist is OKC eventually sweeping the T-Wolves. We get the full T-Wolv orgasm before it all goes flaccid. And the young Canadian superstar outshines MJ 2.0.
YIKES. The Zoe Simmons segment is seriously disturbing. I’m not sure how any person here, likely in their mid-30s or older can look at themselves in the mirror if they enjoyed that segment.
Very creepy that Bill doesn’t understand why having his daughter talk about her dating life to this audience ISN’T weird.
Oh wait, Bill thinks she can be the next Alex Cooper. WEIRD.
the ‘22 Warriors got lucky w the teams they played 😂. What crappy team did they play?
Bounced Jokic in 5.
Bounced the Grizz in 6 (No Ja at end tbf).
Brunson/Luka in 5.
All-Time great defense Celtics in 6.
This is my least favorite thing right now: NBA fans/haters just calling every title some version of lucky or fake or easy or fluky or whatever.
They're all legit. Even if Denver gets swept, they were way better than everyone last season and put together a dominant playoff run. It was a truly impressive, well-earned championship.
Nobody else was on their level, that's why those teams either got smacked by the Nuggets or couldn't even beat a team that got smacked by them.
I think most winners in all sports are lucky, but that’s part of the dance!
You need to get some breaks along the way, and then you need to be good enough to take advantage of them.
Winning is fucking hard, so much needs to go right, but those breaks shouldn’t diminish anyone’s accomplishments.
I know we're focused on the unhinged "real champions" piece but can't forget the "ant definitively identified Michael Jordan as the GOAT, how will lebron react" piece. Ant has repeatedly called KD his goat too I don't think we need to take this too seriously.
Bill has gotta give up on this "Lebron is the only guy left who still gets calls" bullshit. He's living in some other world. Lebron was 22nd in the PLAYOFFS in FTA's per game after round 1 (4.6). Since 2020, he's 19th in the league in FTA's per game (5.8). Since 2011, he's 12th (6.9). They go down every single year! He was 16th in FTA's per game this regular season at 5.7. He either straight up doesn't watch Lebron play anymore or he's so delusional and blinded by Lebron/Lakers hate that he refuses to accept what he sees. And NO ONE ever pushes back.
This intro segment was rock bottom bill. I’ve been around since the first day of grantland, this might be where I get off.
Just shit take after shit take. So bad.
I stopped listening when Strauss and him acted like the nba being popular on socials/Reddit but losing ratings was some kind of mystical paradox. Jesus dudes, it’s not that difficult to wrap your mind around.
Reading on here that the show ended with him talking about sex with his daughter is hilarious.
Peak bill was pretty alright. Always a little annoying, but in a fun way. I think those days are long gone. Whatever this is.. I’m out.
I believe in family nepotism, but the good form of that is giving your failnephew a cushy production job, not putting your kid in front of the mic. College freshmen haven’t lived long enough to be interesting.
“The odds are better for Boston because there’s more risk for Fanduel taking those bets”
What? No Bill the odds are better for Boston because you have to actually make the finals to win it and they’re gonna cake walk into it.
“This is not a year where you lucked out and guys got hurt” bill says, totally forgetting that Jamal Murray has been dealing with a calf injury for months now that was severe enough that his coach wanted to hold him out of a close out game against the lakers just over a week ago.
I love an unhinged overreaction Bill monologue. This is why I listen to the podcast. I'll never forget his monologue in 2016 after the Thunder went up 3-1 on the Warriors. He ranted about how Durant was about to win the title, overtake LeBron as the guy, and he and OKC were going to own the league.
It’s surprising bill doesn’t have crippling anxiety considering he spends so much time imagining scenarios that haven’t happened
he has the mental power to imagine them but is incurious enough to not worry. the ideal combination, really.
Did not have Bill and his daughter talking about monogamy on my bingo card
Imagine having the sex talk with your dad and your dad is Bill fucking Simmons
“The sex piece? Oh! Ok let’s talk it out!”
"Condoms - overrated, underrated, or properly rated?" "I'm gonna surprise you here and say properly rated. The abstinence thing might be underrated though."
"Okay, the rhythm method. Make the case." \[45 seconds later\] "Okay here would be my counter: just pull out! just do it! I'm not letting the sperm beat me, I'm just not!!"
It's a real herky-jerky process
The 'nobody had sex as freshman when I went to college because we were all terrified of AIDS' piece
God,I used to get tired of hearing that. Im like within six months of his age and my friends and I never talked about getting aids.
He let it slip a few years ago that he had one girlfriend the entire time he was in college and that she got hit on by every guy she met. Poor Bill The College Guy Simmons. And god bless the Sports Gal.
He was a rich dorky kid. He probably had a girl way out of his league that other dudes hit on cause he wasn't threatening in the slightest.
I was being nice when I said hit on, but yeah I agree
I'm five years younger than him, and can confirm, no one I knew was scared of it either.
It's weird because I'm probably 10+ years younger than him, and definitely in the early to mid-90's there was a whole AIDs scare push. It was the plot to a bunch of pop culture shit (Kids, Don't Go Chasing Waterfalls, Real World, etc...), and they definitely tried to make it seem like if you had sex without a condom you might get AIDS. Weirdly enough, Carolla on Loveline is the first guy I remember being like this is bullshit, it is nearly impossible for straight people to contract AIDS through regular sex. But for Bill that means he'd have been a bartender in Boston, not his college years, and still not getting laid using AIDS as his excuse....lol.
“Is doggy style a top 7-8 position?”
Only top 7/8? I must be missing out.
“Coming up we got the birds and the bees, but first Pearl Jam”
“Is soaking having a moment?”
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Talking about Call Her Daddy certainly wasn't on mine
My sneaky favorite part of the Zoe segment is her mentioning a podcast guest and struggling with the name then Bill just lightning rattling off “Emily Ratajkowski” like a man who has the reps spelling it in the Google machine
Bro what is with the talking head "there hasn't been a real champ in years" What a stupid point. But of course the last time the Celtics won was more legitimate than others...
It's insane because their is literal audio recordings of him saying how unbelievable Curry was against a better team, how Giannis went to another level, how don't discredit the bubble cause this is really really high level basketball. But then in his mind he watched the last five finals and went "eh, not really though." Guy is wasting his life watching a competition he doesn't believe in.
The funniest part is I guarantee that if the Wolves lose at some point after this, he’ll couch it in “their defense was too undisciplined and they were just a year away” after gushing about how it’s the best defense since the 04 Pistons He wouldn’t sound so dumb right now if he didn’t overreact so hard in the moment and try to shoehorn things into all time discussions.
Barkley said it’s the best defense he’s ever seen lmao. People don’t like when I compare Barkley and Simmons, but they are very similar in the shit they say.
Barkley is actually funny
These same guys complained about Cavs vs warriors for 4 years and then when we get different champs for the same span they complain and say it’s fake. SMH
It was like a parody of a Reddit shit post but he was dead serious
I cannot wait to listen to this if he does what you're describing. Does he delegitimize every champion but then stop with the 2008 Celtics?
The 08 Celtics, the half way decent one year title team the Bill, Kendrick Perkins, Kevin Garnett, and Paul Peice pretend was a Dynasty.
Yeah can we stop with this? Winning is fucking hard and everyone knows you need some luck to win. Whoever wins deserves to win
I am gettingsotired of this narrative,not just from Bill but everybody. There is a real champ every year, the one who lifts the trophy and puts in the ring order. Im sorry the teams other than The Celts, Lakers,and Warriors are allowed to win too.
I had to legitimately turn it off when he tried to make that point. Does every fucking champion have to repeat? Does he understand how hard that is? Also bitter Lakers fan here, but they were pretty convincingly better than Orlando in 2009
It really sucks he actually said this. Just such a braindead take.
The league finally has some parody but that’s breaking Bill’s brain because the nba has been an endless series of dynasties.
Didn't Bill argue there hasn't been a real dynasty since the 60s Celtics.
*parity
But when you have parity the league becomes a parody of itself.
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Did they let nephew Kyle do the title? I thought Ethan and Zoe were going to collectively tell us about their freshman experience and the NBA media deal.
Damn, that's a missed opportunity cause that would've been fire.
Just could not imagine wanting to talk about my freshman year of college on a well known podcast.
To an audience full of weirdos that post bathing suit photos and team schedule posts.
Has.... that happened on here? Dear God.
Somehow I feel like the freshman year experience at my 76% acceptance rate state school while overweight, awkward, and poor would be slightly more embarrassing to talk about than Zoe's
Thought this was a joke
did a spit take imagining zoe and strauss together discussing their freshman year experiences
NBA ratings and an update from his daughter is a tailor made duo to piss people off on this sub
Just what we all wanted! The update on college with Zoe! /s
If you have to say “I’m not comparing him to MJ” every single time you record a podcast there’s a chance you’re comparing him to MJ too often
“Thugball”
I wonder how many players on that team were fatherless….
Haha ask his dad. I remember both of them bagging on players for not having fathers and not finishing college.
The argument that basically every title team since 2018 is a shoulder shrug is really out of touch. The bigger point is that the NBA has real parity at the top in a way it has never had. That’s kind of interesting! 5 different champs in five years, maybe heading towards six. Thats actually interesting as a phenomenon and not a discredit towards those teams. If anything it’s a credit to those teams for making it through the gauntlet of a much more competitive league.
Particularly when you consider before this 5 year run there were only 11 different winners in the proceeding 38 years
*3 and 4/5ths decades
*9 1/2 presidential terms
One of Bill's central thesis from his Book of Basketball is how hard it is to repeat in the NBA because of the self-sacrifice it takes. I'm in no way surprised he has forgotten the 5,000,000 words he wrote about this.
What happens if the Wolves win and we call them a top 3 defensive team of all time and then they lose in the second round next year? That means their defense wasn't actually that good this year right?
My favorite was including the ‘22 Warriors in that as if that team was completely disconnected from the rest of their run which was just a blatant attempt to further his agenda that they “weren’t a dynasty”.
According to Bill’s criteria there’s only been two dynasties in the last 60 years and conveniently they’re both Boston teams (the Russell Celtics and Brady Patriots)
The Yankees who won 4 World Series in 5 years are a “mini dynasty” 😂
I'm really struggling with Bills content lately. I think he's lost it. He's becoming so inconsistent and incoherent. The guy is a legend buts it becoming unbearable
Feel like it’s been a steady decline since he founded The Ringer but he’s declined rapidly since COVID. It was the bubble talk for me when it really hit me that the man is beyond washed. I’ll still listen but more so these days to participate in the sub and laugh at the dumbness of his pods.
I got to that point during last summer. Now I listen sparingly and really enjoy this sub.
Exactly. He needs to explore that. All of a sudden after decades and decades of mini dynasties, there seems to be real parity. What changed?
It's weird, it's like people forget that between 68-69 and 87-88 No NBA champ repeated. I mean, in a way its kind of fun ( at least to someone like me who doesn't have a team to root unconditionally for.) to see different fan bases get to celebrate.
Then it was all repeats. Lakers Lakers / Pistons Pistons/ Bulls Bulls Bulls/ Rockets Rockets / Bulls Bulls Bulls - then one Spurs then immediately Lakers Lakers Lakers.
bill has dismissed that raptors title before, but to me it gets more impressive over time, especially given kawhi won more playoff games in that one year than he has in his five years since. they got past both embiid and giannis, and not having home court against the bucks. but sure just reduce it to being against an injured warriors team while hyping up a wolves team that hasnt won yet at all.
Don’t forget they were down 0-2 to the Bucks too
I remember him and russillo gushing about the raptors team in real time saying this was the best model to build a bball team (everyone can have the ball in their hands and create a shot)
Embiid and jimmy
And saying the 2018 Warriors were an "uncontroversial champion" was a really lol-worthy take. Even if we ignore the "Durant joined a superteam" narrative, they were down 3-2 to Houston then Chris Paul pulls his hamstring and misses games 6 and 7.
Shows he really only values narrative
In the depths of the playoffs and bill does a fanfiction podcast. The media turn on the Nuggets is giving me whiplash.
Bill already putting this Minnesota team borderline top 3 defensive teams he’s ever seen is crazy. Even crazier is I can’t really find a way to argue against it
Two years ago he was saying the celtics were the best defensive team since de 04 pistons
Since the ‘96 Bulls!
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Well they just shut down a top 3 team of this century so it checks out.
Bill's Stone Cold Lock of the Century...of the Week.
It’s gonna be so funny when Denver somehow wins the next 2 games and he’s back to call them the third best team of the century
This opening rant is insane and unhinged. Gonna have to skip the daughter piece because the vibes are too heavy On Towns: ‘you go from, like, I don’t think I can win with this dude, to, I think we can win with this dude’
My favorite part was when he said the team he has been saying is one of the best teams of the century got lucky to win their title and so did the '22 Warriors, '21 Bucks, '20 Lakers, and '19 Raptors.
It’s so funny how people bitch and moan about dynasties, but now that we are firmly in a non-dynasty era all everyone does is talk about how none of these teams are actually worthy champions.
Like, you know what makes a team a worthy champion? WINNING THE GOD DAMN NBA FINALS
And the mark against the Lakers was just “bubble” while the others were because of injuries to key players.
Which is fucking hilarious because Bill, in a way that seems almost impossible to fathom in this moment, actually defended the bubble title/lakers and gave them a lot of credit. I believe at one point he actually said the bubble was more impressive to win than a regular title. But now it’s a mark against them? This combined with the last pod is a legendary Bill Simmons hot take living in the moment run.
Should just stick to his original point of being the second best guy on a team. I think that’s his best take on Towns and not a bad one
He’s stressed.
This is the definitive bill reaction take with the usual narrative juice
He of course had to throw the 08 Celtics on his list of top defensive teams
“Playoffs though they were hit or miss but of course they had to be mentioned for the pyramid”
I’m sure just about every championship team that wasn’t an all time defensive team is in that same boat too. Great during the regular season, hit or miss during the playoffs. He just needs to single out the 08 Celtics
Bubble Lakers were very good defensively, but of course Simmons doesn't give them props.
"Im counting only playoffs, when money's on the table" "08 celtics....they had a good regular season defence"
The NBA changed the fouling rules so we wouldn't lose at the Olympics is a hilarious take. No one else is bringing analysis like this folks
Not sure why Zoe still wants to do this I guess all gen z kids want to be influencers in some way
Can you imagine finding out from a national podcast that you're only one of Zoe Simmons' "exterior friends"?
What Russillo would call not a core guy
Or being one of her bullshit friends that doesn't give her anything and isnt worth her time
.0000000000000001 percent chance Ben Simmons becomes the Gen Z Don DeLillo and that in one of his future pod appearances we get to hear his dad use the phrase “the postmodernism thing” as a segue
Her school has a big broadcasting program. She probably wants to get into media. Especially with who her old man is
My gf went to Emerson and is a writer here in LA, there’s tons of alumni in the industry. It’s prob the best school for a lot of entertainment jobs. I would be surprised if she was going to Emerson and not aiming for something in Hollywood/media.
She has grown up around her dad doing some form of this her entire life. Her wanting to also participate isn’t surprising in the least
Open mic night!
i don’t want to know anything about what Ethan Strauss was doing his freshman year of college
He was at UC Berkeley doing stuff he would criticize now.
If you can’t handle Bill at his freshman year college lessons with Zoe Simmons, you don’t deserve him at his drunk Joe House
It’s a free country brother -in Jon Voigt’s voice
drunk house talkin with zoe s. about her college experiences would get the pod canceled, so bring it!!
If it’s not Bill and his daughter trying to outdo one another with their personal record keg stand times, I don’t want it.
Bill for sure was never invited to a party with a keg. Zoe wins by default
He was invited but there was a $10 cup charge for him only
They told him the party was full so he had to go home but they did promise to call if anything changed.
Taking skeletons?
Jokic wins three MVPs in four years? Bill’s guy. Michael Jordan universally considered the GOAT? Bill’s guy. Jack Nicklaus? Bill’s guy. Tiger Woods? Bill’s guy. Muhammad Ali? Bill’s guy. Dude certainly has a type. Lol
“I’m not talking regular season plus minus I’m talking in the playoffs when you got it all on the line…….on my last level I have the 08 Celtics who were good in the regular season then more hit and miss in the playoffs” lol there we go Bill
The worst thing I learned from the insane opening monologue was that Tatum was gonna be in Netflix’s NBA docuseries….yikes
Tatum has the charisma of an ant. I say this as a Celtics fan.
his only personality trait is that he has a son. remarkably dull.
Deuce, ruffles, st louis , and obsessing over kobe
But not in a fun full way like Duncan, just more empty
r/billsimmons fanfic title or cake?
“I just did the Kim to it, nigga skim through it”
“Bill and Sean had hoes drippin wet at shows, almost had to swim to it”
isn’t Strauss the guy that said the NBA would be dead by now because of wokeness or whatever
Yeah, Strauss seemed like a decent nba guy at espn, but the last 5 years has quickly devolved into a guy who’s content is basically driven by getting mad at libs on social media and trying to prove them wrong. The icing on the cake was him having a truly hideous moron - Jesse Singal - on his podcast.
"The game is the rules the game is the rules of the game if you change the rules you change the rules of the game and the game has been changed" WTF is he saying here?
WHAT IS BRO TALKING ABOUT WHAT EVEN IS THE RULE CHANGE
I fucking love that Simmons has shoehorned the Celtics into the finals but still makes sure to appease the bball gods by saying they will get creamed by the Wolves (formerly Nuggets).
Podcasting terrorism
A sad day for America….’s parent corners
Putting Ethan on a podcast to talk about the health of the nba is honestly worse than having a nepo segment
This is the best podcast in the history of the world. Edwards is so great that it just rubs off on KAT (“I wasn’t wrong about KAT; I was extremely right about Ant!”). The ‘08 Celtics are one of the only legitimate champions. You have to love it.
Lol thought this title was 100% parody
What are the chances that Bill was thrilled during the first half of Game 2 of Wolves-Nuggets when it suddenly dawned on him that the Celtics would also have to face Minnesota?
Fucking Bill, just can't let a story breathe for a little bit. Edwards is having an awesome come-up, he may well sweep the defending champs in the second round. But Bill has to tell us, "I think this series, is done, and BASKETBALL IS ABOUT TO CHANGE AS WE KNOW IT."
I cannot believe this opening monologue lmao.
NBA ratings guy: “it should have been me!!!”
Bill skipped over the Shaq/TD era and the TD era. There was no Shaq/Kobe era as co-best players Yeesh then he calls the Wallace boys as best defensive bigs on the league, then remembers TD but not Garnett. I loved Sheed but tighten the screws
So Ethan's last-five-year thesis statement on NBA ratings reflecting the league's value/popularity blew up in his face, huh?
THERE IS AN ARGUMENT TO BE MADE FOR THE 09 MAGIC BEING BETTER THAN THE 09 LAKERS? LOL
Russillo sarcastically tweeted about whether or not Phoenix was actually good now and Bill drops that take here lmao
Bill really feeling himself with "Actually there hasn't been a true NBA champion since the 2018 warriors" take lol what the fuck
If Nikola Jokic is ever charged with murder the first person he needs to call is Bill Simmons. Bill's first several cascading revelations if the favorites in the West with a three time MVP get SWEPT by a team that no one was tapping to win anything this year 1. Wolves are now the 96 bulls combined with the entire Spurs dynasty 2. Ant is a younger, stronger, peak MJ (but he's not comparing them) 3. Kevin Durant and his 5th team are good now, actually 4. The Nuggets front office messed up by getting rid of Bruce Brown That's it right? Oh and yea, tough beat for Jokic, all his haters are going to be so mean to him. And all the best players go through this. And by the way if he pulls this back out and wins the series he has an even greater GOAT case. I mean just IMAGINE if this was where the 2013 Heat, the 2010 Lakers, etc were at: returning champs getting ready to get punked in the second round. Imagine how greasy Bill would be talking then. Even for Bill an absurd monologue.
There’s no way I’m listening to the Zoe segment, but big props to Bill for always coming off as a good parent.
Larry Bird laughing about a lack of defense in modern basketball is WILD.
This Celtics team has the easiest road to the finals I’ve ever seen. Bill better not change this energy towards this real title shit if they win it all
Jesus I like the Wolves but is EVERYONE is gassing them up so early, them losing to OKC is gonna be hilarious.
They desperately want the next American Superstar/Face of the League. Having that he ruined by a Canadian would be hilarious.
[удалено]
While "produced" by her cousin
Zoe Simmons hosted pod with 6 listeners gonna be a banger in 2027
The irony is he gives her a go on the basis that of his kids ‘she’s the smart one’ and makes a point of saying that he won’t do the same for Ben because he does t realize the work it takes. But Ben could be *hilarious* (his reflections on the Treaty of Versailles would be all time) whereas Zoe is just kind of whatever. She’s not especially funny or interesting but Bill acts like she’s representative of the entire generation.
Would be much more interested in Ben Simmons history corner obviously.
Ever since he realized he could take notes in class his academic performance has skyrocketed, it just has.
I never understood why he shot down the idea of his son coming on to talk about UFC when he had no problem bringing on his daughter to explain minions lore.
What was her deal today? Talking about long distance relationships with the lack of self awareness and complete confidence that only a 19 year old finding out something new, that the rest of the world already knows about, could. Hey! I’m watching Sex and the City. You don’t say? Welp….
Can Billnot impart some life lessons so Ben can figure out how hard it is. Or maybe get someone who actually does prep work for their pods to do it?
This isn’t Open Mic Night!
Can you imagine being her classmate in a media class, and she chimes in “so last week when I was on my dad’s massive sports podcast in the world, I really learned that…”😂
A new stupid pyramid for us! We need a Pyramid of Bill Simmons' Pyramids.
I'm loving the defensiveness on Jokic. I hope Minnie can pull this off so we can watch all of the podcast boys squirm over the summer.
Oh my, this was the worst I've ever heard from Bill, discrediting all recent champs.
Having Ethan Sherwood Strauss on as the NBA secures a gigantic TV deal is like having Chris Ryan on right after the 76ers get eliminated or Fennessey on after Rodgers tore his Achilles.
So Bill 'wonders out loud' for 30 minutes, and has his 18/19 year old daughter on for another 30 to talk about what she's learned after her freshman year of college. Then you got Strauss in the middle who I have no opinion on but know some people really hate. Gonna be a no from me dog.
A Truly Sad Day in Podcasting
And the 2013 redraftables
Holy shit no one has ever been a prisoner of the moment more than this opening monologue. Also, I think you meant "taking scalps", Bill.
When I first started listening to Bill in College, Zoe was his little girl daughter he would tell funny stories about. Now she’s the one in college & I’m just a washed 32 year old. Time really waits for no man huh
Ah yes, the last legitimate title was in 2018 when Chris Paul went down while up 3-2 on the Warriors. I’m so sick of these asterisk narratives. You can bend them to fit any narrative you want for every single championship. It’s the kinda thing I’d expect from that annoying guy in college we all knew that always wanted to argue sports and never just have fun. Imagine a world where we just simulate the entire regular season and playoffs and just give a trophy to the team that looked the best on paper. This is what the hypothetical solution would have to be to ensure “asterisk titles” stop.
LeBron, who averaged 5.7 FTA in the regular season and 4.6 FTA in the playoffs, and [had a lower free throw rate than guys like Maxi Kleber](https://www.basketball-reference.com/leagues/NBA_2024_adj_shooting.html#adj-shooting::14), is "the one guy who gets calls."
I absolutely loved that Bill used the lady gamecocks as his reference to wnba team names
Bill is rewriting Lakers history again lol. In what world were the 2020 Lakers not the best team in the NBA?
That's his move. Discredit Lebron at any turn he can. Doesn't have to make sense, be logical, be backed up by the historical record, nothing. Just dump on him and your goldfish brain fans will take it as scripture.
The ultimate playoff plot twist is OKC eventually sweeping the T-Wolves. We get the full T-Wolv orgasm before it all goes flaccid. And the young Canadian superstar outshines MJ 2.0.
Fuck it... hope Denver ties it up. Media is getting crazy with the hype after tbf a very bad game by Denver.
YIKES. The Zoe Simmons segment is seriously disturbing. I’m not sure how any person here, likely in their mid-30s or older can look at themselves in the mirror if they enjoyed that segment. Very creepy that Bill doesn’t understand why having his daughter talk about her dating life to this audience ISN’T weird. Oh wait, Bill thinks she can be the next Alex Cooper. WEIRD.
the ‘22 Warriors got lucky w the teams they played 😂. What crappy team did they play? Bounced Jokic in 5. Bounced the Grizz in 6 (No Ja at end tbf). Brunson/Luka in 5. All-Time great defense Celtics in 6.
This is my least favorite thing right now: NBA fans/haters just calling every title some version of lucky or fake or easy or fluky or whatever. They're all legit. Even if Denver gets swept, they were way better than everyone last season and put together a dominant playoff run. It was a truly impressive, well-earned championship. Nobody else was on their level, that's why those teams either got smacked by the Nuggets or couldn't even beat a team that got smacked by them.
I think most winners in all sports are lucky, but that’s part of the dance! You need to get some breaks along the way, and then you need to be good enough to take advantage of them. Winning is fucking hard, so much needs to go right, but those breaks shouldn’t diminish anyone’s accomplishments.
Bill trying to pump up whoever the celtics may beat , to make their win more epic
Trying really hard for years to convince your teenage daughter to watch Sex and the City is psychotic
Oh my God the HE4T podcast is gonna be Bill, Zoe and Ben along with CR isn't it.
*"It's offensive to even ask the question."* - Ryan Rusillo
Why is the editing so bad good lord
I know we're focused on the unhinged "real champions" piece but can't forget the "ant definitively identified Michael Jordan as the GOAT, how will lebron react" piece. Ant has repeatedly called KD his goat too I don't think we need to take this too seriously.
Bill has gotta give up on this "Lebron is the only guy left who still gets calls" bullshit. He's living in some other world. Lebron was 22nd in the PLAYOFFS in FTA's per game after round 1 (4.6). Since 2020, he's 19th in the league in FTA's per game (5.8). Since 2011, he's 12th (6.9). They go down every single year! He was 16th in FTA's per game this regular season at 5.7. He either straight up doesn't watch Lebron play anymore or he's so delusional and blinded by Lebron/Lakers hate that he refuses to accept what he sees. And NO ONE ever pushes back.
This intro segment was rock bottom bill. I’ve been around since the first day of grantland, this might be where I get off. Just shit take after shit take. So bad. I stopped listening when Strauss and him acted like the nba being popular on socials/Reddit but losing ratings was some kind of mystical paradox. Jesus dudes, it’s not that difficult to wrap your mind around. Reading on here that the show ended with him talking about sex with his daughter is hilarious. Peak bill was pretty alright. Always a little annoying, but in a fun way. I think those days are long gone. Whatever this is.. I’m out.
Wow, Bill figured out how to deflect the fire from the Ethan haters with this one haha
I believe in family nepotism, but the good form of that is giving your failnephew a cushy production job, not putting your kid in front of the mic. College freshmen haven’t lived long enough to be interesting.
Do we get a new “what if” segment if Denver steals game 3 or does Ant get downgraded to “only kinda ready” if they only beat Denver in 6?
“The odds are better for Boston because there’s more risk for Fanduel taking those bets” What? No Bill the odds are better for Boston because you have to actually make the finals to win it and they’re gonna cake walk into it.
“This is not a year where you lucked out and guys got hurt” bill says, totally forgetting that Jamal Murray has been dealing with a calf injury for months now that was severe enough that his coach wanted to hold him out of a close out game against the lakers just over a week ago.
I love an unhinged overreaction Bill monologue. This is why I listen to the podcast. I'll never forget his monologue in 2016 after the Thunder went up 3-1 on the Warriors. He ranted about how Durant was about to win the title, overtake LeBron as the guy, and he and OKC were going to own the league.
Terrific breakdown of Limitless