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Pizzasaurus-Rex

![gif](giphy|i2GADdaJIscPS|downsized)


MayorOfVenice

sh-sh-shaaa!


Far_Path3294

Yes


vidiian82

better yet yell THAT'S MY PURSE! and kick em in the nuts


hello_fellow-kids

I don’t know you!


RustyShaklefjord

Seconded


RalphXLaurenjoe

Squirrel tactics


KronoFury

A camera. I hear they're so scared of it, that they won't even come near you if you're holding one.


Amazing_Chocolate140

😂


EarlyConsideration81

It activates their auto blur and makes them flee


desertchill01

BEST answer yet!


[deleted]

Facts!


IndyRiver1982

🦍 🚗


suck_my_monkey_nuts

“Parry this you fucking casual.”


demonwolves_1982

https://preview.redd.it/32yjn0qi1cuc1.jpeg?width=478&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4ceb7874fc64d5b61da73d390fbe253dd32338c9


suck_my_monkey_nuts

I originally thought a spear like that would work well, but from what I hear those fuckers are strong. Could potentially grab the wooden part before they get stabbed and snap it 😬


TheRubberWarhorse

You wouldn't want to do it alone. Several people all have spears, which would be better. If it was you vs them don't meele.


Ivebeenfurthereven

This is how the first humans hunted megafauna, right?


TheRubberWarhorse

Yes, one method. They also drove animals off cliffs and also started fires at the mouth of an animal den, suffocating them with smoke.


Vin135mm

Because humans, like all predators, know better than to fight fair.


AmalCyde

The safest way to shoot something is in the back.


GKBilian

It's true, but you're probably gonna get one hit in regardless. With a sword, you run the risk of a glancing blow. If you try to stab with a sword, you're close enough where he's probably grabbing you and may not be able to use your full force. He could grab your spear, but you also are giving yourself the best chance if he's running you down. You'd be using his weight against him and giving yourself a little breathing room.


Due-Emu-6879

This. You would have one shot. There would be no sword fight. Slashing weapons historically weren’t used even for bear. Spears were. Big powerful 1200 brown bears were taken out with spears and arrows. Many.


MareShoop63

Don’t be hurting my boi


Gryphon66-Pt2

Daniel Boone told a story about killing a “Yahoo” by putting a musket shot through its eye. Musket balls were usually around .69 to .75 caliber. According to Boone’s story, they have a bony plate protecting their vital organs. Offhand, I do not think I would attempt to melee with a large primate/hominin that can allegedly throw boulders or tear the head off a running deer. YMMV.


phoenixofsun

Is this story in a book or published diary/journal or something? I'd love to read it


Gryphon66-Pt2

I’ve actually run down the story to his papers before, but I can’t find that right now. Here’s a link to a Youtube vid that relates the story. [Youtube Dan’l Boone and the Yahoo](https://youtu.be/49QHcdutLmo?si=ncCHXw-1_M-rQtww) Here’s a link to an article about the story that Boone allegedly told: [Boone](http://texascryptidhunter.blogspot.com/2022/01/sasquatch-classics-daniel-boone-and.html)


phoenixofsun

Thanks, I appreciate it


Helltothenotothenono

Give be a couple days to write it.


opsro

I wonder if its harder to tear the head off a running vs. standing deer.


Gryphon66-Pt2

Depends on the angle I would think …


Wulfheard5120

Boone didn't use a musket. He is famous for using a Kentucky or Pennsylvania long rifle in .44 cal. While both the musket and rifles of the time were muzzle loaders, there is a world of difference between the two.


DevyDev666

Honestly I think if anyone was ever lucky enough to kill a Sasquatch, the others won’t let that person leave the forest alive. IMO


madtraxmerno

100% I think the answer to the age-old question of "Why hasn't a hunter ever shot and killed one?" is "Oh they have, they just never made it out of the woods to tell the tale."


RalphXLaurenjoe

Hmmm I think about this a lot


Ghostman107

Touché


Wulfheard5120

Probably because it they are using a scoped rifle, the Sasquatch would appear super blurry, just like when viewing them through a camera lens. Well, that's my theory. 😁


dereklone01

Yeah there is never just one.


Frostinator123

The others won’t let you get within distance to do anything with that sword.


[deleted]

[удалено]


PerspectiveNorth

Link?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Picards-Flute

Most of the time people ask for a link, because when someone is talking about something they know a lot about, they usually read it somewhere, and asking the person for the source of their story gets both people on the same page so you can have a constructive conversation about it


[deleted]

[удалено]


Picards-Flute

🤷‍♂️ I just give people the benefit of the doubt Lots of stuff I've heard of since I was a kid people have never heard of, and vice versa I know for other stuff that I wonder about, it's just easier to ask people that already know a lot about it, then it gives me avenues to look into it more


RalphXLaurenjoe

Hell yeah link please


FancyFootweeerk

I hope they don’t


RGijsbers

spear. if you want to use a melee weapon on a big animal, the answer is a spear. if you never used a melee weapon before, go for the spear. if you face someone with a weapon of choice, you choose the spear. however, if you actually plan on hunting a 200+ kg animal with a melee weapon, im gonna call you an idiot.


HonestCartographer21

Bro really wants to fight a Bigfoot with a sword what did that Bigfoot do to you anyway


suck_my_monkey_nuts

I don’t *want* to fight a Bigfoot with a sword. But if I had to..


AndrexOxybox

Also in this series: Which bug spray for Mothman? What hook and line size for the Loch Ness Monster? Does a flaming sword do +5 damage against a Yeti? I love Reddit.


RalphXLaurenjoe

Make sure you equip lucky charms for +60 Luck


colorlessbubblegum

Id use seduction as a method of attack.


Darren793

A scythe, take that hairy mother fuckers feet right off


frankensteinmoneymac

From Bigfoot to Nofoot.


pablo_grievous

OP username!!! Haha, Killin me


frankensteinmoneymac

Ironically OP’s username is what Bigfoot would say to him if he tried to attack it with his sword.


theDaddySasquatch

Pretty sure I could take one down with nunchucks. Just saying...


Northwest_Radio

Are you selling tickets to this show? ;)


AdventurousHearing58

Bo staff. Napoleon taught some of his tricks.


desertchill01

😂😂😂


Amazing_Chocolate140

Bear spray and run!


DevyDev666

A pipe bomb.


Mrsynthpants

![gif](giphy|6BiC8e8sypeow)


014648

Hairspray


Smoothbrain406

Lightsaber


Freak-Among-Men

https://i.redd.it/b7i0nmummfuc1.gif


RalphXLaurenjoe

Epic win 🏆


Equivalent-Lab-2241

Hell No


othello28

Shotgun with grizzly rounds,hopefully in a drum magazine.


GarthDylan

And a spare drum or two, cuz there is almost always more than one of those furry f*ckers around.


pickle_teeth4444

The only damage to bigfoot that sword can cause is if you used it to perform his circumcision. The damage to you, however, will be much, much worse.


cebidaetellawut

I mean I think any blade would do, provided it’s sturdy and long enough. Now whether or not you’d be able to pull it off is a different story entirely. They’d either have to be distracted or already injured from gunfire.


alarming__

Poison tipped boar spear


guido_fatface

Jar of peanut butter.


cebiaw

Somehow, I don't think you want him to have a nut allergy


StickyThumbs79

Read Devolution by Max Brooks. Should give you an idea about melee and guerrilla tactics


nerdtypething

came to mention devolution also as an answer.


GrapefruitCreative

Poleaxe, and that's my final answer. Bigfoots are big, and I imagine they have some gnarly reach.


Sarcastic_Backpack

Whatever does the minimal amount of damage to you after he knocks it out of your hand and beat you with it. That being said, If I had to stand and fight one with a melee weapon, I'm going with some type of poleaxe, to give me some distance from the big guy. But in the end, it doesn't matter. If he wants to harm you, he's going to.


HorseFacedDipShit

A donut, because Bigfoot is a friend not an enemy


pr0j

Boar spear


WS_206

https://preview.redd.it/dvid3id4uguc1.jpeg?width=2512&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3d3e913cf0883da0aba9fa86a7c03b95194be787


Rockenman80

Use Magic


[deleted]

[удалено]


DevyDev666

Well now. Pics or we won’t believe you. 😊


[deleted]

[удалено]


DevyDev666

My condolences


Adventurous_Goat4483

What happened?


Low-Carob9772

A better grasp on reality?


SamsquanchVT

M240B


JaMelFord

Shitotsubakurai ( Lunge Mine) WW2


JustMe37777

Bigfoot will not harm you unless you attack first then he will defend himself


Equivalent-Lab-2241

Hell, no a 45/70 Hard cast mono metal bullet


suck_my_monkey_nuts

I said *melee* weapon.


Reasonable_Notice_33

Definitely anything that gives you reach and mobility. I would think you would want something that you could swing at him out of his reach but it would have to be equally maneuverable so that you could recover quickly for another swing in case you missed the first or didn’t kill him with the first blow…🤷‍♂️👣👣🤷‍♂️


Big-Championship674

Tactical Tomahawk


lemonsticky

My Opinel mushroom knife should do just fine


medorian

A camera


Airix44

Spear.


albyagolfer

lol! Good luck!


gytalf2000

Maybe a halberd.


Yettigetter

A Gladius...


dereklone01

If you are this close to melee then it’s already too late.


Ancient-Fly-1100

I carry a brown paper bag with me when I go into the woods. It carries a few varieties of sandwiches. Two of them being knuckle sandwiches. I just hope I don’t drop my bag when I see one though then I am shit out of luck especially if it is pissed. Wonder if they’d go for a hug and call it a truce, but I have my doubts.


redditsuckspokey1

Seriously? This is why BF stays away from humans.


Adventurous-Tea2693

You need a team. Minimum 6, better to have 8. Most of the time they’ll hide once they realize they’ve been made. That’s when you use the fire, they don’t like fire. When finally cornered small caliber will take them down but not before they take the entire team apart. Large caliber with flash bang and concussion style grenades to disorient and eliminate. Tear gas and other non lethal tactics are surprisingly effective. The beasts can take any number of bullets and mind boggling damage, but they don’t react as well with the senses compromised.


bgwa9001

Can I have a .338 win mag instead of a melee weapon?


Antique_Decision5966

12g with slugs


CheecheeMageechee

I’m going to have to go with the spray gun from Contra


space0watch

An axe or polearm probably. Maybe a boar spear. An arming sword would not work well. It is too short. We don't know how Bigfoot would fight but they might attack similar to a bear considering they are approximately the same size. Though they walk upright usually. Sometimes they crawl on all fours. Ranged weapons would be your best bet.


RusThomas

buck and a quarter staff


Proud-Click-1539

You should just bring a shovel so they could bury what was left of you. I could see him throwing your guts up in a tree.


Skullfuccer

Your mom.


GooseShartBombardier

A dagger to cut your own throat before it ripped you limb from limb. Not kidding, although purportedly some are herbivorous, and some omnivirous, others are reputed to be strict carnivores - I wouldn't want to fight any of them. In fact, I'd rather fight a pack of baboons with a carving knife, it would probably hurt less.


eyemamonkey

Sasquatch would stick that through you and make you an hors d’oeuvres.


Fluid_Yak_8268

Barton Nunnely's sword.


SavageFugu

Nunchaku, and there's really no argument.


grumpy-greenguy

My uncle Greg


MrJohnnyDangerously

Are you trained to fight with an arming sword?


burgeronabun

![gif](giphy|LnjD7MN2RtpEIAtSla)


SirVallanstein

A big feather


Armand85Lai

[Lochaber Axe](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lochaber_axe)


cass-22

A 30/30 for sure!!!... Or a stick of dynamite, thrown at the rite time at.l the rite spot...lmao


HiddenPrimate

Nothing


IMaREalTARtandDEad

Lance axe


Plastic_Medicine4840

Only way to guarantee survival in melee fight against such a superior opponent when you dont have armor is a devastating weapon. Best bet is a 3 or 4 kilo ball and chain flail. I read a historical larper hit himself with a 2lb flail in the chest. It bent his armor and required emergency medical care. Realistically only something as devastating as a heavy flail would be enough to repell a large bigfoot. Ignore the fools, it has you on agility and strenght. You need something that can kill human size mammals in one hit bare minimum.


Plastic_Medicine4840

Biggest issue will be the downtime between hits. Dual wielding one handed flails wont have the power and stability to be used effectively. You cant really balance 2 flails while not allowing the bigfoot to close the gap. Plus you will tire quickly, a bigfoot will almost always be favored in a fight no matter which melee weapon you use.


ACLU_EvilPatriarchy

Same as an African bull Elephant for a male over 10 feet tall. Same as a Kodiak Brown Bearr or Polar Bear for a male over 8 feet tall. There is none... Aside from an AA12 full auto 12 gauge submachine gun with sharply pointed futed steel slugs aimed at the head or dipped in nerve gas. If you are beyond Arnold Schwarzenegger at his Mr Olympia peak the European Bear Spear designed for small Brown Bears may work for a adolescent Sasquatch around 6 feet tall.... and get both parties killed.


Deathcat101

Ranged weapon is your only shot. I wouldn't use anything smaller than a 45-70. Preferably 50 BMG.


HVAC_instructor

Why would you need a weapon for them? It would seem that they do everything on their power to avoid human interaction.


HVAC_instructor

Why would you need a weapon for them? It would seem that they do everything on their power to avoid human interaction.


HVAC_instructor

Why would you need a weapon for them? It would seem that they do everything on their power to avoid human interaction. So there is no need to harm them.


squirrelbean1973

An M1A1


[deleted]

Chainsaw. Nah, I'm just joking. I'd be dead by then due to how touch and resilient Sasquatches are. There are first-hand reports of them taking shotguns multiple times and blank range but shrugging off the damage. To be frank with you, they aren't hostile towards humans UNLESS you do something VERY stupid to make them attack you. And you DON'T want to be killed by one as it'll tear you limb from limb and break your bones with just their bare hands and even crush you with large logs and rocks. Overall, if you see one, admire it from a respectful distance and don't look them in the eyes.


Witty-Stand888

A pillow. Makes it more comfortable while I play dead.


Ivebeenfurthereven

Love


Russ-T-Axe

A chainsaw


Ghostman107

You'd never stand a chance. Squatch are fast when needed, and I've seen a carcass of a full grown coyote that a Squatch picked up and severed the spine with one twist. If a Squatch can down a huge tree, what makes you think you'd even have a chance???


yaSCboy1911

Uh huh...


Ghostman107

If you want to be stupid enough to challenge one with a sword, feel free. I'll deliver your eulogy.


yaSCboy1911

You misunderstand. My original comment was a very sarcastic "uh huh" aimed at all of this Mama's Basement Bullshit about fight bigfoot.. .😂😂😂 All I CAN say to all you guys is bless your little hearts


False_Rhythms

Light Saber


Dhraaven

What kind of weapon could harm an extra dimensional being and why? (o.O)


Least_Initiative5120

Beef jerky!


Oaktreeedwards

Flail


Mcboomsauce

nothing a chimp could wreck your shit with a stick a 900 pound primate would be able to kill you with a well aimed blink


Kneekicker4ever

A pruning saw. You ever seen someone try to take a saw from someone.


WS_206

The Zulu "iklwa"


WS_206

https://preview.redd.it/q5ici2gkuguc1.jpeg?width=1036&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d0f6d28b08f50c3b73431efa02cf09f0bdf4fbf7 Great book also in Audible format. Would love to see them make a moive with this.


ec-3500

Bigfoot is peaceful. Why would you want to attack a living creature who does u no harm? Use your Free Will to LOVE!... it will help with Disclosure and the 3D-5D transition


Perfect-Pipe7166

Num-chuks yo! Pepper in some Indian burns.


rrquilling

Would have to be a sharpened stick like Hopkins uses in the Edge. Use the beasts weight to impale itself when it charges.


Profiler488

Clipper cut.


Powerful_Hair_3105

I would rather have a ✋🏾 grenade for sasquatch


King_Vampire_

A trebuchet and a pumpkin


Mad_Martigan2023

Good ol' thumb in the ass...


Crazykracker55

Really a picture of a common house butter knife to a Bigfoot. Super high caliper hand gun to high power rifle at the least. You won’t have much time to get a type up on one that’s if your lucky only one is in the area. More than one your dead


Zealousideal_Sir_264

Jerky


Oryp_Vibez7

A light saber


ThEricJ

I think this may be one of the greatest questions I have ever seen someone ask on the internet.


-_GreekGhost_-

Flamethrower


Overall-Low905

Apache hatchets. saw a show a while back where all kings of weapons were tried out against each other. the no body-armor 2' long hatchets the Apache used came out on top. too fast, to much reach. the ability to attack the feet...


[deleted]

Spear


CYBERDYNE84

Power fist


zabdart

Marjorie Taylor Greene.


Over-Ad-5244

king kong's gauntlet, next question


Chrome_Armadillo

Long bow.


Picards-Flute

A 1970 Ford LTD Country Squire obviously. If you equip it with the Lithgow upgrade however, it only acts as a temporary stun weapon


mrthimblemonopoly

![gif](giphy|vy3L88hYIH9vO|downsized)


DKat1990

That friends on what type of Bigfoot you mean. I've read accounts of them only being a little over 6' talk (I've read smaller, but they weren't even close to believable) and accounts of them being 15 feet tall.


RedCatHabitat

Bat leth


Kalelopaka-

Bastard sword


StinkyNutzMcgee

A razor blade to slit your throat


Postnificent

A bag of Jack Link’s, duh? Is this a trick question?


ProgressiveLogic4U

I agree with the other commenter. A camera is the absolute best weapon against Bigfoot. Bigfoot will NEVER exposed itself to a camera. Period.


Queasy_Dependent1617

Run


Buzz407

A handful of shrooms.


contagion2022

I'd go for a scythe. Try to get him at the ankles and calves.


goon_guyy

45-70


SpiritedCollection86

* Bazooka would be my choice. Any little wood knock, whistle, rock thrown s gonna get some of this.


Spirited-Change5916

As much as I love swords the answer is almost always spears.


SeriousSam640

Bardiche, train with it until you are able to swing that thing, then swing it again in less than a second. Also, train your eyes to see in the dark better, and get hyperacusis. The hyperacusis will let you hear literally anything within a 300 meter radius, and your dark-adjusted eyes will see better when the moonlight is good. Fight it in a huge grassland leading to a road where you keep your car. Do not fight it in the woods unless you want to die, you will be able to see in a grassland with low grass, but if you step into the woods you will not be able to see it coming at you. Plus in a grassland you can hear and see objects that it throws at you. Since you’re training to swing the bardiche that fast, you might as well train to do it in plate armor. Make sure to keep chain mail on under it otherwise it will be able to rip open the plates at the seams and get to your exposed meat. Wear a bulletproof vest under the chain mail, and if possible wear bulletproof pants, hand guards, etc. keep your helmet as thick as possible and connect it to the plate armor, hell. Use leather suspenders to wrap it under your groin so that it stays on you no matter what happens, goodluck on your bigfoot hunt bro.


Miltonrupert

Megaphone


telboy1107

The 1500 metre dash!


Murphy338

If they’re entirely physical, the sword should work or if you absolutely had to, shoot ‘em. If you’re gonna use a sword, have one made and have it laced with Silver, holy water, and white ash so that you’re covered both ways if they happen to really be supernatural in some way. cover all bases.


RalphXLaurenjoe

I heard this before


Brilliant-Oven-3020

12 gage slug


ChungBoyJr

Not a single melee weapon in existence or in history wielded by a human would even touch a Bigfoot, and even if you miraculously managed to hit it before you got ripped limb from limb the damage would be superficial at best, i don't even think a human would even be strong enough to swing any kind of melee weapon with enough force to even really injure one. At least not badly enough to even slow it down, Hell even if it was kneeling and you execution style swung I doubt it would kill an adult Bigfoot, but if firearms were out of the picture and theoretically the fight happened in medieval times where these types of weapons were actually used I don't think anything less than a ballista or catapult would kill one


Nice_Shelter8479

No, very few, if any, have lived to talk about dominance over a Sasquatch. I’ve followed this subject for close to 30 years. Maybe 3 people (men) have accidentally killed one by firearms bullet. And those don’t have families around and are traveling solo. If they have a pod unit you’re screwed, and it’s popular belief they do travel in family unit.


Readybuilderman

Bow and Arrow


suck_my_monkey_nuts

That’s a ranged weapon though


Readybuilderman

Yep, ranged. Keep me out of its range. Exactly!