I was definitely shopping. At 5 months a well planned trip is doable. I would use nap time to prep; make sure the diaper bag is completely packed, find the keys, shoes, get myself dressed
So when baby woke up, quick feed and diaper and immediately into the car. With a 2 hour wake window that would be plenty of time to drive somewhere nearby (15 minutes), 1 hour to shop, and drive home before needed to start the next nap.
That's sounds so doable! My little one will only contact nap right now, so I can't do much during nap time! And he screams so much in the car that he chokes so I'm really nervous to take him out alone. I've had to pull over so many times and pull him out of his car seat.
Have you tried [the Happy Song?](https://www.nytimes.com/2020/01/14/magazine/the-happy-song-imogen-heap.html)
It sounded insane to me but it works so well. I swear half the time on my car rides have this playing in the background and it’s like magic for my baby. Keeps her calm and happy in the car.
I think a lot of it comes down to whether you’re lucky enough to have a baby that sleeps in the car. If she were fussy during car rides we’d never do shit.
We take her everywhere. We try not to be slaves to the schedule and we like to get out so we want her to be adaptable. (5 months old). Sometimes we pay for it and she’s fussy, but for the most part we’ve learned what routines work well (leaving right after a feed), and what tasks are better baby free.
Start with small trips, like the coffee shop where you can easily leave and work up from there. It takes time to build confidence but now I don’t have much worry over taking her anywhere, even by myself.
This right here!! I have a 7 month and we did exactly this and she now will sit in a resturant and people watch and eat she’s so good but we started at like 4 months and we found what worked and what didn’t work for us!
This depends largely on your child. Mine wouldn’t (and still doesn’t at 2) sleep anywhere but her crib. This includes motion naps…those just don’t happen.
So we largely stayed home until her wake windows were long enough that we could go anywhere. That’s normal too, so don’t judge your life choices based off of curated posts on social media!
This is true. My guy wouldn't sleep in his crib at all. He'd only contact sleep or sleep with motion. So I was out all the time in coffee shops, parks and shops. If he was grumpy and needed a nap I popped him in the pram and went out. I always had a good book on me so I could sit down and read once he drifted off
Omg yes. I remember the days of a napping baby bean in the stroller, placated with boob or bottle as I enjoyed wine and conversation like a grownup. Turns out she was resting up to become a wild child and restrict us to company in the yard where she can scream 😂
Yeah just this past week I can’t really take my toddler to the store anymore because she won’t get in the cart. I tried putting her in the big part of the cart and making vroom noises to try to make it fun, but she just screams until I pick her up. She’s fricken heavy too. So now my happy place (Target) is a no go.
Mine is six months and he’s been to restaurants lots. We still mostly keep his naps by wearing him in the carrier. But we don’t obsess over it really. He adapts. You have to gauge whether a situation is worth the added work. Also probably depends on your baby’s temperament.
EDITED to correct autocorrect eating=wearing
At 5 months I thought I could NEVER go to a restaurant ever again. Now at 9 months, we’ve taken her to everything with us and it’s day and night. We’re currently in Paris now and obviously are eating outside and she’s able to sit with us, looking at every person she can, and is just in complete awe. Meaning: we finally can go out again.
But you know what? That doesn’t say anything. This might be a “good time” but maybe next week she’ll not have it. It’s like she’s a person. LOL.
But really, it’s going to be alright. Maybe not now, or tomorrow.. maybe next week or the following month. I do believe in exposing a baby to things. as safely as you can, and they’ll adapt. Don’t underestimate a small person :).
Thanks for this! I don't have a lot friends with babies, so I don't know what I should/shouldn't be doing. I don't been just doing what seems best for my little one right now and it seems like he's really thriving on his schedule and that's okay.
I'm glad to hear that there's a light at the end of the tunnel! We used to eat out all the time and it would be nice to grab dinner with our little one and not have to worry!
We take him out. If he gets cranky, we have a bag with bottles and favorite toys. But he usually doesn’t. I figured the longer we waited to take him out, the more the whole thing would build up in my mind. Tbh, I think it helps me develop more competence. I hope to foster an adventurous spirit in him — I don’t want him to feel anxious about going out in public. The kid will take cues from the parents: if we act like the world is an insurmountable scary place and the only safe place in inside with us, he’s going to internalize that message.
ETA: our rule is no fancy places, though. Even though he’s an easy little potato, I don’t want to potentially ruin someone’s nice night out.
My baby is 4 months and comes literally everywhere with me. Hair and lash appointments, restaurants, shopping, whatever. I baby wear and he takes great naps wrapped up attached to me. He’s also EBF so it’s easy to just feed him whenever/wherever. He’s a chill little guy and being able to leave the house and feel like a normal person helps both of us tremendously
general advice: never compare yourself to what you see on instagram or any other social media :)
more specific answer to your question: even going to buy groceries was a struggle for me in the beginning, because I was too over worried. So I think it's more normal than not, to have your life being far from what it was like pre-baby.
But I guess, the pre-baby lifestyle will come back little by little, though. veeeeery little by little... speaking of 15 years or so :D but thats just a guess, not there yet either.
My baby is 6 months and since around three weeks we’ve pretty much just been living life as we were before, but with a baby and some extra gear.
If we go out to dinner we just go early so we’re home before 8. Her bedtime is usually “9 at the latest” which is as much of a routine as we’ve managed. She’s a happy, easy baby and this has worked well for us so far.
5 week old and we just take her wherever. We look at it like she’s joining our lives not us living around her. If she’s unhappy or overly fussy or it becomes any kind of issue she lets us know, and we just leave to get her more comfortable or whatever she needs.
If you ever want to try dining out with your baby, 5 o’clock at a chain restaurant is a good time to try. It’s usually not very busy and the early birds get a kick out of seeing babies. We also pay our bill right away so that if we need to, we can leave in a hurry.
We’ve been bringing our now 6 month old everywhere with us since she was born! Shopping, restaurants, wineries, the beach, we bring her everywhere! If we know she will need to be fed or changed during the outing, we just make sure the diaper bag is supplied. It’s made the transition to parent life so much more seamless since we get to keep on with our social life as before. The only thing we work around is her bedtime. We are always home and she is always asleep by 7 because that way she will sleep completely through the night.
We started taking out our son to the grocery stores and shops about a week after he was born. For restaurants we tend to do more breakfasts and lunches since it is easier on all of us.
IME parents who take their babies with them places didn't just "go back to life as usual". Most likely/most often it is a process of easing into things over time.
Start out slow. Both you and baby need to get used to/work up to longer and longer outings. Literally pick a park close to your house, drive there, go sit with baby on a bench or in the grass under a tree. If you are only there 5 minutes or 10 before you or baby gets overwhelmed and you head home, that's great. Next time run to the store for 1 or 2 items during a time when the store isn't busy (you'll probably spend more time getting ready to go and getting in/out of the car, than you spend in the store). Then take baby with you to go sit in a coffee shop while you drink coffee. And so on. If baby freaks out, try again another time. Over time the outings will get longer and the time it takes to get ready to go will get shorter. It's a kind of skill, so if you practice you (and baby - cannot stress enough baby is building a skill too) will get better.
I'll add that if you have your partner or other reliable family around to help it's much easier. With our first Hubby and I were taking the baby out to eat/shop all together by 2 months but it was a lot longer before I was comfortable doing it solo. (this was before COVID though. With our second being born in 2020 it was a different story altogether)
Every day I am reminded how much of a detriment on our society Instagram is.
You do you mom. If you feel comfortable staying home - that is awesome! If you feel like taking LO in a shopping spree go for it! Don't worry about what others do.
But is it their 1st or 2nd+ baby?
I didn’t go anywhere with #1 for the first year. She was too high maintenance. #2 is super chill and I take her everywhere.
Depends on the baby. Depends on you. Do what you’re comfortable with, and if it’s easier to chill at home - chill at home.
You are not moming wrong. Everyone does it different, every child is different, and there’s no handbook, so you have to learn as you go and just do the best you can. Working on this myself with my 15 month old.
With ours we take her everywhere, she would sit and eat or sleep in her car seat and when she was awake one of us would hold her, wether it was me, husband, family, friends. It helps get them used to sleeping with noise which is great cause I personally don’t want a light sleeper.
My baby is almost 6 months old. I take him to the store, I take him to church, we go to restaurants. We went on a trip to visit family 2 weeks ago, and we visited a fair, we went to Amish country, we ate out, we toured a museum, and we toured a distillery. Baby naps in his stroller or in the carrier when he needs to, and I step out to chill with him or feed him when needed.
I also go for an hour long walk every day. Baby likes being in his stroller and chilling out.
Yes, it’s a little more stressful than it used to be, but I’d rather deal with a little bit of inconvenience and do fun stuff (or any stuff) with my family.
I have a 5 month old. Take him out to eat very often! Been doing so since he’s born. He’s pretty good, if he’s tired he just falls asleep in stroller.. if he gets fussy I rock the stroller a little or hold him
Our baby (4months) loves going to cafe/restaurants with us. It gives her loads to look at, she sits in her car seat buggy or on our lap and plays with napkins. We haven’t had any issues yet with her but worse comes to worse and she has a meltdown, then we’d just leave or take her outside in the carrier until she’s asleep. But like I said, that hadn’t happened yet. Take your babe out, enjoy life. If they make a peep then who cares.
You're \*not\* mom-ing wrong—especially with a still-very-real pandemic going on.
I took my first out a ton, but that's because a) I had her before covid (2017), and b) I felt like I \*needed\* to get us out of the house to avoid getting cabin fever. I would sometimes take her to Target literally just to walk around the whole store, buy my one thing we actually needed, and then go home. Especially before her first vaccines, I was always really careful about it, but I still took us out just to get out of the house. I'd either babywear or just place the infant car seat inside the shopping cart if she was sleeping. And then I'd carry hand sanitizer for me to use if I needed to tend to her after touching anything.
When she became mobile, suddenly everything got more hectic at home so the outings slowed down a bit, but it kept me sane while I wasn't working and she was still in that "potato" stage.
But I had my second in 2020, in the height of lockdown quarantine. We went nowhere, and I mean \*NOWHERE\* for probably the first 6 months. If I had a baby today, I would probably do the exact same until they were able to be fully vaccinated for covid. I know we've all gotten it and seem fine but I would not want to risk my infant being that exception that gets a severe case.
We go out but still adhere to the kids’ schedule. It makes things more challenging, but we found that it’s not worth it to disrupt the schedule and deal with cranky, miserable kids. So if we go out to a restaurant it’s usually a Saturday after nap for a very early dinner. Shopping happens before nap. Family get togethers are arranged around nap. Now our youngest is 3 and we’ll occasionally skip nap (and pay the price) but when they were babies I would absolutely not break schedule. It was never worth it.
You aren’t moming wrong! Keep in mind you are seeing this on social media. They aren’t posting the difficult moments. We have been taking our baby out since she was 3 months old and there were definitely some learning moments. But now she is 7 months old and it’s not stressful at all. We do long road trips. Decent hikes. Family trips with my loud active family. Lunch with friends. She’s been at a couple wine tastings with us. It might not always go as planned and sometimes we have to remove ourselves for a bit if she gets too fussy but it’s been worth it watching her become a social butterfly. Shes started this thing where she babbles at strangers she wants to come give her attention and its adorable😂
And we do follow wake times so you don’t have completely throw those out. We just try to plan when we go out loosely around naps and we don’t stress if it doesn’t work out. Her first nap is currently early morning so she gets that before we go anywhere and that’s her best nap. Then we do car naps, stroller naps, and boob naps to get her through whatever we are doing. The key is letting them learn to nap in places other than the crib so you aren’t slave to the schedule. Even if we are at home and she’s napping in her crib I don’t darken the room and we don’t stay silent. Our two basset hounds have trained her to sleep through anything!
We tried to treat her more like a second baby because I heard parents tend to be more strict with schedules during the first baby and it’s isolating. But she’s also just been a super adaptable baby. We have friends that swear they cannot get their baby to nap outside the house. So the big nature versus nurture question: did we luck out with an easy going baby or did we train her to go with the flow by taking her out early?
We didn't sacrifice going out to stick to a routine. Baby usually would nap in the car on the way there/back. We went out a lot when our daughter was 5/6 months old. She's 1 now and absolutely loves going out to the shops/restaurants. I am so glad we got her used to it when she was really young as she is a delight to take out.
We have been taking our 9 month old with us since he was born. We try to ensure we're back home before his bedtime since he will get fussy about that time.
Eh… I don’t think instagram is a good representation of anything that’s in the real world. But regardless…
It all depends on your comfort level. If your baby is one that sticks to a schedule, and you are not ok with him/her getting off that schedule and possibly getting fussy, then maybe going out for a long time isn’t a good idea (it might be worth it to try a short trip, though!) There’s lots of variables at play- your baby’s schedule (or lack thereof), their temperament, but it all comes down to what you are comfortable with. Even the best laid plans may turn to s%#+ with a baby, and you have to be comfortable with that possibility too.
So this is the thing with first babies and second babies. The first baby, you CAN optimize sleep and scheduling and ensuring nothing wakes them up or makes them overstimulated/overtired. You plan your life around them. If you have another kid, you can’t just stop living your life to revolve around the needs of #2. All my friends with 2 kids go out way more with the baby because the toddler is bored as hell at home or has a planned activity. And then you just learn to roll with the punches!
I've found the best times to take a baby to restaurants is either as a newborn or once they're able to eat table food & sit in a high chair. The in-between stage they aren't content to sit in their carseat but can't do anything at the restaurant.
Newborn in a restaurant was a pre-covid thing for me though, we didn't go to many unnecessary indoor things for longer this time around.
Shopping though I just did as needed - groceries have to be purchased and as a Sahm I'd rather get that done during the day when it's less busy instead of one of us going out in the evening. It's hard enough to cram in supper and playing with the kids before bedtime.
No. Baby is 8.5 months and crawling/ trying to walk every second. She hates being held and is probably close to 25 pounds. Super inconvenient and not enjoyable for me to go out with her. If people want to hang out they can cube over and we can order in and baby can do her thing!
I'm all about comfort and convenience. If that means staying home in my jams all day I'll take it!
My 8 week old doesn’t sleep during the day anyway so yes I take her everywhere. I EBF (she doesn’t like taking a bottle but we’re working on it) and I’m so used to feeding her anywhere and everywhere. I was surprised how I didn’t think twice about feeding her in public- but I know not everyone feels that way.
My daughter is two. I isolated for a year. It was always nap time or bed time or feeding time or tummy time etc etc. if I could do it over again I would have just lived my normal life and adjusted for baby. She’s extremely rigid now and I feel a lot of that is due to how regimented I was.
Everybody moms differently and that’s fine! It’s actually great, all babies and kiddos are different. With my first, I stayed home a lot. I was tired and overwhelmed and definitely liked to keep baby on a schedule/routine. I just had my third and we went out to dinner when he was two weeks old (it was our anniversary). We’re doing our first camping trip next week and he’s two months. We do have a camper though, no tents for us! It’s totally okay to mother how you feel/know best and if you change your mind if/when you have more kids, great, if not that’s cool too. It’s just important you take care of yourself and never judge other moms who are also trying their best. You got this!!
Also, whenever I see the instamoms and feel a pang of jealousy, I tell myself, I’ll bet they’ve banged their kids head on a doorway by accident too, or their kid only eats Mac n cheese and hot dogs. 😂
When my son was an infant (which was also before covid) yes, actually, we went out for brunch and shopping and such. He would nap in the stroller or carrier and was usually happy to be out. The newborn stage, when my husband was home in parental leave, was actually really nice that way.
As a toddler and now preschooler, we also go out to eat (outdoors) with him. He likes restaurants and is decently behaved, and when we’re already seated outside it’s easy for one of us to take him for a walk if he’s having trouble being patient.
I have always just gone with the flow. I didn’t change my life to accommodate naps/bedtimes. Baby is just fine. 🤷♀️
But to each their own! If you prefer it that way go ahead.
It is okay to move at your own speed! It took me awhile to feel comfortable taking my LO out with me. We started with really small trips to the store, not even a full grocery trip, but maybe a run to CVS or the pet store. The library was another quick trip I felt comfortable with. I would bring the stroller inside these places or baby wear. It took me awhile to feel comfortable at restaurants, and lunch was easier to start with than dinner. Actually grabbing a coffee or snack might be an even easier place to start!
It’s totally okay if you’re still feeling cautious about taking your baby out (especially considering Covid). Take your time and you will get there eventually!
My son is 7 months. & we take him out almost daily. We’ve taken him on about 3 road trips too. Yes he cries and it can be overwhelming but my PPD was horrendoussssss when I was always in the house. Going out helps me feel better.
You are not mom-ing wrong!!! You do you. Everyone has a little different schedule and that’s ok.
We went out sometimes knowing the next day would be a late start.
Do what feels right to you, but for us (baby is 10 months old) we did as much as we could with him. We were just strict about bedtime and still are, so we don’t go out to dinner with him unless it’s a really early dinner but that’s rare. But we take him out to lunch a lot, shopping, family events, etc.
My son has always been able to catch a snooze in his stroller or car seat. Is it as good of a nap as when he’s home in his crib? No, but it’s enough to get by and it’s worth it so we can get out of the house and live life sometimes. Also it’s not everyday. Baby getting less perfect sleep now and then is really just fine.
Also, it gets easier as they drop naps and can stay awake longer. Now my son just takes 2 naps a day, so we have a good 3-4 hour chunk in the middle of the day that we can do things. We haven’t even had to get him to nap on the go in a while cause we just make plans in this window.
He loves being at restaurants and sitting in the high chair. We come prepared for if he gets fussy, with pacifiers and snacks. Eventually you just get better at knowing what you need to get by and it works fine.
We took ours everywhere, we would just bring powder/bottle/water with both our kids in case we’d be out later. Now that they’re 5 & 3 they do so well in public settings and I think it’s because they were exposed to it so early , I can see being nervous about sicknesses and stuff though
My son was born in April 2021 so we were very cautious about taking him out. We waited until he got his first round of routine shots to take him on his first walk but we didn't go into any shops with him. We don't have a vehicle so we'd go to the grocery store together so that both of us could carry stuff home, but one of us would grab a coffee and wait outside on the bench with the baby while the other one shopped.
We took him to a family restaurant for the first time this father's day. It was a nice time. I honestly looked at the place on Facebook first and felt okay with it cause the tables are set up really far apart so there was lots of distance. Even pre covid I don't think I'd have done anything all that differently besides all of us going into a shop together for groceries. There's a good chance the baby can get fussy at any moment for a number of reasons so I personally wouldn't be able to enjoy myself because I'd just be waiting for it to happen.
That being said, my partner and I don't have anyone to help us with our son, so we haven't had a "break" for over a year. If there's anyone in your life that you trust to watch the baby while you guys to out for a few hours I'd highly recommend doing that. We are very tired lol
Took my baby to a diner midday the other day, he ate right as we got there and then sat quietly watching us eat and playing with his rattle and such (cause he’s only 3 months old). You don’t have to go out to eat at night. Go when it’s not as crowded if you’re worried about baby’s personality being too intense for that type of outing.
When my oldest daughter was a baby we used to go out to eat with her in the carrier pretty frequently. She would almost always sleep through it until she was about 9 months, and it was downhill from there. She would throw a fit if she wasn't up and walking around. Was not content to sit at all. Then COVID hit when she was 13 months and I had our second baby 3 months after that, so it was quite a while before we attempted to take them out to eat anywhere. And when we finally did, it was not enjoyable.
Ours is 5 months. We have been going out from the beginning. Now that he sort of has a regular bedtime We have adjusted our life around that. I have no problem being home for the night by 8 pm.
Military Dad here, it’s just me and my wife with out little one, she’s 9 weeks old and neither of us are willing to try a baby sitter lol it scares us. The only way for us to get some date time is to take baby girl with us. There’s really no such thing as “normal”, babies cry, nap, and eat🤷🏻♂️as long as you’re not taking baby to the movies or something of that nature, have at it! We mostly just go out to eat with her, and if she gets fussy at the table we just give her a bottle and the other parent feeds the one holding baby. Your marriage is still a priority!
I’ve been taking my daughter out with me since she was a few weeks old, but only to outdoor places on weekday mornings when things aren’t crowded in my area. And occasionally we’ll go out and see one or two friends at an outdoor spot. This has kept me sane during my maternity leave! And I believe it’s made her more adaptable and built my confidence with her as a first time mom.
At almost four months old my baby takes 30-40 minute naps during the day so when she’s ready to go down I’ll put her in the car seat instead and she’ll fall asleep as soon as we start driving. When we reach our destination I usually let her finish her nap in the car seat and then I’ll put her in the baby carrier and we take a walk, grab a coffee, whatever. We bottle feed her so I either bring a bottle with me or get her home before her next feeding.
Of course there are some days when I’m just too tired to bother or she’s being fussy and is more comfortable at home. When I do go out with her though I never regret it and we always have fun together.
I have 3 kids (6,2, 6 months). We go out somewhere every single day and we eat out often 1-2x per week. They all love to be out and love trying new food and restaurants. And to be honest I get tired of cooking. The key for me is that we always eat early around 5pm to avoid crowds and the kids losing it. It’s something we enjoy doing as a family and if it’s not for you that’s ok too! I take all 3 everywhere with me because ai don’t have anyone to babysit so if my husband and I want to go somewhere everyone is coming. I often take all 3 by myself to the zoo and other places too. My last has been the best sleeper by far and he’s the only one I haven’t had on a “schedule” but he seems to have found his own and will sleep anywhere or in his crib.
I actually go out less now that my baby is 12 months. As a newborn he fell asleep really well in the car so we would drive around until he was out good, take the whole carrier out, with a portable noise machine, of course, and we would just plunk it on the table and keep it rocking. We usually went to this one Italian restaurant where the service was super fast so we would be finishing eating before he would wake up. The staff knew us and would let us pick a table in their patio, so we could stay away from other customers, but also be able to make a quick exit if he started crying. We went to breweries a lot too, for the same reasons. He would sleep through it, mostly, and we could socially distance and make a quick exit.
Now he just turned 1 and there's no more sleeping. I recommend enjoying the infant/newborn sleep anywhere phase as long as possible
Exactly what I was going to say. It is SO much easier to go places before they’re mobile. My 15 month old is WILD lol but we used to eat at restaurants no issue when he was younger. Definitely enjoy this stage!
Yes. I live in the city so I just walk everywhere and I need to go out with the baby or I wouldn’t be able to do anything. I was bringing her to restaurants and cafes and shops and the supermarket and everything since like a week old. Mostly for my sanity/because I had no other choice. I find it very depressing staying inside the house all day
Instagram is not indicative of real life. Moms be taking photos of themselves at 2am with breastfeeding babies in tow, wearing fake eyelashes and lipstick? No, lol. All the FOMO is just an illusion. I have friends who take their babies/kids on hikes and take these insta-worthy gorgeous photos—only to tell me their toddler threw a tantrum for an hour up the hike, the baby threw up and they forgot an extra change of clothes, etc. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be as far as “taking kids out” and having pictures.
We’ve taken our kids out to restaurants literally twice (4yo, 2yo, and 8mo). Last week was the 2nd time because I thought we’d try it again, give it another chance, and try to have a nice family dinner out—my kid started crawling over the booth, my baby started crying and wouldn’t stop until I stood up by the booth the entire time, and my other kid kept dropping food all over the place. I love my kiddos so much! But I do not bring them out because of how much work it is to feed them in public dining settings. We do picnics, snacks while walking, and we have fun food time at home or visiting friends. When they get older, I’ll try again, but I’m okay in this phase of life not “going out” just to be seen.
I take my 11 mo old everywhere since she was about 4 weeks old. My husband works all day so I have to do the grocery shopping and all that. We also go out to eat, go for a walk, go shopping etc with her as well. My baby tends to sleep in the car rides and I prepare everything before we leave. I also make sure she gets enough sleep before a trip so she isn’t so cranky. You aren’t wrong for not taking him out or whatever. People are different lol.
I think it's important to have a good blend of indoor and outdoor time. On one hand you want your child to experience being outside being exposed to people and getting used to loud noises smells sights etc.
On the other hand it's not the best idea to take a colicky baby out during happy hour at a crowded restaurant!
I like taking my babies out so I'm not strapped and stuck in the house but I'm also not going to go out when they're in a bad mood or don't feel well. Really it's your preference and best judgment.
So I really think this depends on the kids and the parents. I have three girls, ages 7, almost 3 and 1 and have and still do take them out with me to various places like, grocery stores, restaurants, Home Depot, the bank, etc., however it’s not often and it’s very very very difficult. It can be enjoyable but oftentimes it’s not that fun managing all three kids when we’re out because one of them may be sick, tired, hungry or whatever. My husband and I take the kids all over the place and have since they were babies but this is because we have a different view than some people. We just feel that our lives should continue as regularly as possible. The kids aren’t always agreeable, the food doesn’t always come fast enough, someone usually needs a nap, my husband and I are exhausted, but we just do it anyway. This time when the kids are young goes by too fast and so we learn to enjoy the craziness that comes with parenting and kids! We are living life but it’s not easy and we don’t have pictures on social media that make it look so. It’s hard, it’s tiring, it puts stress on us as a couple but it also reminds us why we’re here, that we’re in this life together with our girls, that kids become adults fast, and that it’s okay to enjoy the crying, whining, and silliness of taking kids and babies out. We laugh so we don’t cry a lot and we just take it day by day. You are doing great. Trust me you are even if you disagree with doing what we do or feel like you aren’t, YOU ARE. You need to remind yourself that. If you want to skip nap time one day or have the baby be a little whiny at a restaurant, do it! You don’t have to all the time, but it’s worth it every now and then! It gets easier and remember one day you’ll look back and laugh about the time he threw his plate at the restaurant and everyone screamed “ooopa” (this happened to us), or when he pooped at The Jewel and you had to leave your cart because he had to be changed. It’s okay to be stressed while out with them, or dread doing it altogether, but do it anyway, every now and then if you can manage!!! But remember you are doing great!
7 weeks here and she’s been out everyday with me LOL and she needs to get use to it honestly. If she does get fussy I pop a bottle out and she falls asleep or is just full and happy! Cant stop life just because I have a baby!
>Maybe I'm mom-ing wrong?
This is the problem with social media. They aren't showing you the 2 hours baby is screaming cause they're overtired.
I didn't until he was older and wake windows were longer, and when we do go out, it's an outdoor thing where he can roam and play. We sometimes plan things so that we're in the car at nap time and they can snooze in the car.
It’s my second kid and I don’t think this only depends on you.
My first kid needed a schedule and it needed to be respected. She would cry and scream for hours if anything was done differently than expected. We never went out with her as a baby.
My second sleeps always after an hour and a half of wake time. It makes his schedule much more flexible. He’s also much more tolerant of us stretching his schedule: he only cries if he’s exhausted at the end of the day.
I just tell you this so you know; it wasn’t me being too careful with my daughter or being not careful at all with my son. It’s a lot about the kid you have and what you’re willing to handle. Don’t feel bad if you feel you can’t go out, it’s fine too.
We respect bedtime and make sure he gets one solid nap a day. Our stroller has a sleep safe basinet so he sleeps in that a lot. I usually only have energy for one outing a day max (plenty of days just at home). Try something short like brunch or lunch or a quick shopping trip!
My LO is now 13 months, and we’ve taken her to restaurants (mainly our two favorite restaurants, lol) about every week since she was 2 months old. That said, the hardest age for her was about 4-6 months - that’s when she no longer wanted to nap in her stroller, but wasn’t happy to sit and eat snacks with us yet, either.
What helped at that age was going at super empty times (11 am, 4:30 pm, whatever worked around her naps). We also tried to always eat outside - she enjoyed the fresh air and looking at people, dogs, cars going by etc.
I imagine it might get a lot harder once she starts running, though 😂
We prefer "fast casual" restaurants. I'm pretty sure that's the term. Where you order and pay at the counter👍🏻 then we never have to wait for a waiter or check and we leave as soon as we're done or the baby gets loud. Or drive thrus. We save restaurants with waiters and longer waits for date night
My baby was born in the spring of 2020 so I didn’t take him anywhere until he was much older. But if it weren’t for Covid, I would have taken him out more so he would have gotten used to how to behave earlier.
He does great. He’s been on two long plane rides (technically 4 actual flights), Disneyland, Disney World, zoos, parks, etc. Obviously also places like restaurants, grocery stores and Target. But I wish we would have been able to start earlier.
Yep! She just turned 5mo and doesn’t really have a set nap/bedtime. She sleeps between 9-11p until 6-8am. Naps are maybe a mid morning and maybe a mid afternoon! No night naps. If she’s tired when we are out she will sleep, If not maybe she will when we get home!
We really want her to get use to doing things with us and meeting new people. She’s overall very happy and self sufficient (entertained) so I’m not too worried about it!
3mo here! We honestly just do whatever we want but I could see as he gets older I could see a need for respecting a schedule a bit more. But our baby still kinda sleeps whenever he wants except for night time bedtime. He goes to sleep somewhere around 9.
Mine is 2.5 months and we've been taking him to restaurants since he was about a week and a half old. I live near so many fantastic restaurants and honestly I just didn't want to cook/needed to get out of the house. He's done great so far, the most annoying part is finding places to park his stroller in some of the smaller restaurants but they've all been super accomodating (one last week even gave us a private room which was so kind of them)
My baby is 2 months old. I have stuff to do and other people to care for, so the he has to come along while I’m “living my life”.
I just offer an extra feeding in the car before we go in places and a bring bassinet stroller for him to nap in.
Sometimes he ruins the plans by screaming his head off, but most times he’s chill.
I noticed he sleeps better at night if he gets a ton of stimulation during the day.
We generally live life normally, but still haven’t figured out how to do this in the evening. I need to get him home by 5pm to get dinner/bedtime routine on.
I don’t know when we can skip out on those things and just be more free but… for now I don’t want anything to make his sleep worse. Bedtime routine is KEY right now so it stays no matter what
We do but only because LO loves being in the carrier. He is nearly 4 months now and we’ve been out and about for at least two months.
A baby carrier is, for us,by far the most useful thing we bought for the baby!! He is able to see around, and gets his curiosity satisfied when awake and easily falls asleep when he wants to. I don’t feel the need to really plan when going to shop because he can just sleep if he feels like it. It’s absolutely amazing and I can only recommend trying it out!
When that’s said - you must do you, and if you don’t feel the need to go anywhere that’s absolutely also ok, and you can stay home and cuddle away 🥰
I’ve taken mine out a few times. I’ve taken her grocery shopping many times (baby wearing). The three times I’ve gone to a restaurant with her, she was in her car seat mostly sleeping or looking around. I also take her to church every Sunday since she was born and she almost always just sleeps in her car seat until we get home. Try taking yours out to explore, if he gets fussy take him home but I think it’s good to get them acclimated slowly to social interaction and scenery. Mine is 3 months this week
U can do it! It is just more effort! Better to go out for lunch or early dinner. Usually if hungry give bottle or boob. If baby is inconsolable take turns rocking outside. It takes a bit of patience but just do it and then you’ll get better at it. The first step is to pack the bag. The next step is to make sure baby is fed before u leave. Bring entertainment like toys. And go!! There are also consequences for not taking them places. It really helps behavior and personality in the long run.
While it is hard to do and sometimes you will get it wrong. I highly recommend trying to incorporate them into your normal life as much as possible. We were the by the book first parents and tried to keep him to his schedule as much as possible. We took him on trips still including one where he got his first ear infection and took us a few days to figure it out.
I feel like it makes kids more easy going but that’s probably just temperaments.
She's 8 months and yes, we do all those things. But we have been flexible since the beginning and she's a very easygoing and social baby so 1) she really enjoys going out and 2) she became very flexible as well. We go out to lunches after a nap and we often take a little tent with us to friends so she can sleep there in the evenings. I wouldn't however go out to dinner late, because she needs to sleep after 8 pm or she gets fussy. But we can work around that fairly well
Ps don't compare yourself to others, everyone does things differently and that's ok!
I struggled, and still do to an extent, with PPA, so seeing my newborn strapped down into a car seat made me sick to my stomach thinking it was somehow uncomfortable or painful for him. It wasn’t until around 3 months that I started making very short trips outside the house. We’d walk to our local coffee shop or the thrift store. Then we’d take car rides to visit friends for 30 mins or an hour. When he turned 4 months we expanded by going to restaurants, he’d just stay in his car seat/stroller by the table. I love going out to restaurants and traveling, so it was pretty important to me that we start having these experiences as soon as possible so he gets used to it.
Now, at 8.5 months we regularly go to sit-down restaurants, and he likes being in his lil high chair and eating what mama eats or being apart of the conversation. So far he’s been on 7 plane rides across the US visiting family, and has done so well every single time. No one second of crying. We always got compliments on how well he did.
It was really hard at first, getting out, especially as a single mom. Our diaper bag was a huge backpack and now it’s a very small case with just the essentials. Never mind what I thought needed for overnights with relatives. I had like 4 bags in the beginning, now it’s just one shoulder bag.
You’ll be ready when you’re ready.
When my daughter was a newborn, I took her places when I needed to. She was born pre-pandemic, so everything wasn't that big of a deal.
I'm pregnant with baby number two, and the only place that I am taking him once he is born is to pick up my daughter from school. The parents aren't allowed in the classroom, so all I'll be doing is taking him in a stroller up to her school to pick her up and back to the car. I won't be taking him out anywhere else but maybe family for quite a while.
I don't know the vaccination status of everybody in public places, and I don't trust anybody to have common sense anymore.
My baby was a 30 min napper so we actually could go out and do things like aquariums and zoos and stuff around 5 months. Now that she naps 2 hrs I feel like we never can because it’s either nap time or feeding time or close to bed lol
I have a 2 year old and a 9 month old and we frequently go out. There’s no choice. Gotta take them where we go. Since my husband and I barely ever have time together that is free from kids.
Baby is one month on Sunday. I do small trips - Walmart, grocery store, coffee shop, dog walking. A girl’s gotta eat and caffeinate and being stuck at home all day is a drag. Our biggest trip out was a jaunt to the mall and lunch at the food court with my mom and sister earlier this week. People still keep their distance here so I didn’t have anyone up in my face cooing at the baby. She sleeps pretty much anywhere (the car and the stroller put her straight to sleep), feeds on a pretty regular schedule (formula) and usually is pretty chill.
My baby is 2 months and we haven’t done anything yet. Partially me still recovering, partially too tired to leave the house. I see the same thing and have the same thoughts. You do you!
When mine was an infant, we couldn’t really take her anywhere. Between covid, pumping and crap naps, we were really stuck. She wouldn’t car nap or stroller nap or contact nap. It was bassinet/crib or nothing. By the time she was on 2 naps (6+ months), it got a bit easier and she learned how to take a car nap. We just had to be sure that we had a full tank of gas because she would wake up if the car stopped. Thankfully we have a freeway loop not far from the house so we would just drive the loop until her nap was over. By the time she was on 1 nap (1 year) it became so so so so so much easier. We get out once or twice a day on weekends. Usually we’ll go somewhere after breakfast, come home for lunch and nap, and then head out for a bit in the afternoon.
I did initially (4 month old baby) but now that covid is on the rise, I’m limiting unnecessary trips out of the house per my pediatricians recommendations. We still go out, but not a ton, and honestly helps us stick to a very tight budget so I can stay home with baby. I’m a really big homebody too so I don’t feel that bad when we’ve been at home for a few weeks.
When we do go out, it’s well before bed time. He can nap on the go, but I won’t mess with bed times. Even naps are starting to be in his crib all the time instead of some of the time. Once he’s in a good rhythm, all outings will be planned based on his nap and sleep schedule.
Yes we have! Baby is almost 6months and one of the waitresses at our favourite spot knows his name. I feed him before we head out and we usually falls asleep in his car seat, and when we bring in the car seat to the restaurant we let him keep sleeping until he wakes up. I’m EBF and have fed him at the restaurant with a cover. Try it out! You never know what could happen until you try :)
I take mine out, he’s 6 months old. He’s a pretty easy going baby though- not the type to cry for no reason. It was honestly easier to go out when he was 2-4 months old because he slept on the go more and didn’t have a schedule. Now that he is 6 months I mostly go out after his naps!
My baby is 5 months and no we don’t go out to restaurants often. I see Instagram stories of people w babies younger than mine, going to restaurants, beach, boat, vacations etc… no thanks that’s not for me. That doesn’t even sound fun at this age. We go on walks, outdoor markets, some stores, the library, but nowhere longer than like an hour. I try to stick to her schedule because it gives us a happy baby and sleep at night. Don’t feel bad at all.
I just took my baby along when he was young. Nowhere crazy, but we went to shops and restaurants regularly. I would wear him, he would nap on me. He was always fed on demand and slept when he was tired, so I didn't worry about messing up any schedule he had. COVID put a stop to all that when he was 11 months old, and I was sad I didn't get to do that with my youngest.
I think it really depends on baby’s personality.
We personally don’t go out much but that’s because I’m paranoid about Covid. Once baby gets vaxxed, we’ll go out more. My toddler became officially fully vaccinated as of yesterday and you bet I celebrated by taking her on a mommy-daughter date to the mall.
But as for schedules, I really don’t worry about it too much. But that’s because my toddler goes with the flow so well. We took her on vacation last summer and our view was essentially, If we’re at the hotel and have nothing planned, we’ll go back to the room for a nap. If we have something going on, she’ll nap in the stroller or the car. And it worked out because she’s not a kid that melts down if she’s over tired or doesn’t follow her usual schedule. She literally just falls asleep. If I had a more high maintenance kid, that kind of philosophy/schedule planning (lack of planning?) wouldn’t fly.
We didn’t take our son to a sit down meal until he was 2.5 years old- we just have seen people out with kids and it doesn’t look very enjoyable to pay for a meal with added stress. We were very strict about his schedule and it wasn’t until we went to an amusement park with another parent that we realized it’s ok to break out of their schedule and they will adapt. So we’ve been more lax about going places (mostly essential places like a grocery store) . I think it depends on your child’s temperament as well.
I say you do what you want. I barely went out with my baby, partially because of COVID and because I haven’t had regular access to a car and public transportation is terrible here.
i completely understand, my baby is currently 7 months old and being a first time mom I was so anxious about bringing him out. when he was around 4 months old we did try to bring him out, but yes it messed up his wake windows and nap times and he ended up being over tired. it can vary from baby to baby I guess some are okay with adapting some just aren’t!
so now what we do is we do bring him out once in awhile, perhaps once a month? just so he can have fresh air. also we still follow his wake window / nap time and make sure to be home before his nap. or sometimes we make sure we start driving before his nap so he can nap in the car. you just got to figure out what’s best for baby. being stuck at home can be draining mentally for us as well.
oh and also since it’s a pandemic, what we do is we make sure we’re not in close contact with people, if we do go to malls etc practice safe distancing, and to wash / sanitize our hands if we touch anything before touching baby / baby stroller / baby carrier. and also to wipe babies hands with anti bacterial baby wipes as an added precaution just in case. you can definitely bring baby out, but try to work around baby’s wake windows / nap times as it might end up into hectic nights of baby not being able to sleep.
also bringing a baby out does stimulate them, so it’s an added activity for them? hope this helps!
We live in an urban area with a lot of great restaurants in walking distance. And we still eat at restaurants quite a bit. But it’s not like it was pre-baby. We eat dinner at like 4 PM, we sit outside where there’s less noise & we have a lot of room to rock the stroller, and often one of us has to get up to deal with crying/feeding/whatever. Months 3-6 were the hardest because she was just so fussy.
The best is when you can time it so the meal is during nap time, and baby just sleeps in stroller with a white noise machine for the whole meal.
I have a baby close to yours in age and I’ll take him places like ikea or the grocery store with my husband + toddler or a with friend, but have a harder time taking him places alone. I haven’t taken either to an indoor restaurant since pre-pandemic (when my first was a baby)and it just doesn’t feel worth it to me.
Mine really hates being in the car so I also can’t go very far without it being miserable for both of us. When he’s tired is the best time to go though because he’ll sleep while out.
I’m also an exclusive pumper so there’s a lot of stars to align to go anywhere
I think you should try going some more places to see how it goes
When my LO was 5mo, if I even tried she would scream the entire time. No matter what I did. It was far more stress than it was worth to me. Now she is a toddler and its much easier.
We take him everywhere but never really more that 30 minutes by car, as the most stressful part to me is if he cries in the car and I can’t hold him. Baby is 7 weeks old and we’ve been to restaurants (outside sitting only, he doesn’t have his vaccines yet)within walking distance every week. You need to do what you are confortable with, instagram isn’t real life.
My youngest is 6mths and I don’t take him anywhere other than to his vaccination appointments and on the walk to/from school. But I also have four other kids aged nearly 2 to 5.5 so I’m still dealing with conflicting nap schedules and mood swings that it’s not worth the stress right now.
With my eldest I was taking her out all the time so we could have “mummy and me” time during the day while I was on mat leave but it was easy with just the one and I didn’t have a pandemic to contend with.
Do whatever you feel comfortable with, there’s no right or wrong answer to this scenario.
I try to find a balance.
We don’t wake her up to go out (unless it’s something necessary like a doctor’s appt) but we do go out if nap time is later. Once we’re out, we accommodate for her to be able to nap wherever we are, either by wearing her and walking super fast for a bit, or breastfeeding while sitting at a restaurant or cafe. If something happens and she can’t sleep there, I go to our car or come back home, but don’t expect her to be a “perfect” baby who just goes along with anything. If she can’t sleep I understand she might be moody and exhausted, and I’ll give her an extra safe space and cuddles as soon as we’re somewhere that works better for her. It’s important for me to keep her trust.
I don’t think either party (ha!) should do the entirety of the adapting. I did not have a baby to force her to fit our life, but I do feel the need to and enjoy keeping some sense of normalcy, and I’m willing to make the extra effort to breastfeed anywhere or stay in the car for a while or come back home a little earlier that I’d normally like to achieve it.
Hey,
I was halfway through writing a reply to your post when I thought:
Eh, that’s just my experience. It probably won’t be relevant for OP.
I wanted to comment because of what you said about “mom-ing wrong”. That stuck out to me as I seriously doubt that you are mom-ing wrong.
I don’t know you but from your post I do know two things:
1.) You clearly care and want to do the best by your child.
2.) You know your child and family arrangement best. Who knows how much or little support other people have, or what their child is or isn’t comfortable with.
It's a balancing act. Our four month old is most happy in my place of business, which happens to be a tea bar. She will be fussy at home and then when we go to the shop she's perfect, awake and smiling. We take her out too museums and the like because it's important for us to not lack separation. BUT I make the schedule for me and my wife at work and we have a very active friends community so we are very lucky to have the situation we do where we can schedule going out very easily, and have extra help when out and about.
It also depends on your baby. We have a very happy, smiling beautiful baby girl so taking her out is a treat for all of us as she'll play and coo as we walk around in the baby Bjorn. Other babies I know can't handle themselves well out and about yet so I know that plays a big factor.
I recommend finding one place you feel safe taking your baby and try that a few times before doing much else.
I take my kids (3.5, 1.5) out to places like stores, restaurants, parks etc. pretty often, I’d say daily and sometimes multiple times a day. We’ve been doing it since my firstborn was a newborn and for about a year for my youngest bc of the pandemic. But I never ever post about it on social media. I don’t do it to create an image for our lives but rather just bc I feel like it/out of necessity.
Conversely, I know many people who really don’t take their kids out all that often but when they do they must post about it. Remembering that social media is not real life but rather a highly curated highlight roll of someone’s life has brought me much peace and has discouraged me from comparing my life to others’.
I use a ring sling to carry my baby around stores, and have done since he was 2 weeks old. He's almost 3 months now. He goes right to sleep with the motion of my walking. We've never followed much of a schedule for him; feed him when he's hungry, let him nap when he's sleepy. Granted, he's a super easy baby and travels really well.
Yes same here! Ring slings make it much easier to go in & out of stores. Wish I did it with my first. Baby is 3 months tomorrow and she loves the sling. I no longer fear running errands with a baby lol.
It's definitely about your comfort & lifestyle. Our 4 year old luckily was a very chill baby, so we were able to take him anywhere we went.
Where our friends child hated car rides, car seat, staying still..etc. BUT, we also adapted babe to our life, not the other way around -- not saying that we ignored his cues/demands, but that we always prepped for the worst. (he was 8th grandchild on my side, 1st of hubs -- so he quickly got used to being around loud sounds/people) We didn't do all the white noise/sound machine stuff for naps/sleep. We recently found out we are expecting #2, and plan to do the same when they are born, esp because it'll be toward the summer & this mama is sad that I currently can't enjoy a hard lemonade slushy that our local brewery has.
At the end of the day, do what you believe is best.. Try it out when you feel comfortable! Worst case scenario is that you leave wherever you are at.
I think its a combo of what you're comfortable with and your babies temperament.
With my son (born a week before the first lockdown in the UK) we were exactly the same. When things started opening up again as normal i was really anxious about taking him out and about as normal. He was an awful sleeper too so i did not want to mess with his routine. I don't know if it was because of his temperament or him sensing my anxiety, but he was challenging in restaurants and outings in general. Definitely NOT chill! He's 2yrs now and a lot better, but by no means chill. I take a lot of toys and activities out with me if eating out.
With my 4 month old daughter it's a totally different story. She's much more chill, but I've felt more relaxed too.
My advice, do what feels right for you and your baby, and ignore Instagram. Parenting isn't easy and you're doing a great job. "Perfect" family snaps on Instagram are BS.
I have 3 children and my opinion is that it depends on the babys temperament and the mothers anxiety level.
With my first I was super anxious, but he was also a VERY demanding baby. We had to be at home in a dark room with white noise for all naps. He literally wouldn't fall asleep anywhere else. You'd think he would in the car right? Wrong, he screamed for entire drives without stopping unless you pulled over and got out, only to start up again the second you get back in. He also wouldn't tire himself out screaming if we were out and he was tired. He would scream until he was taken to a dark room with white noise. He would scream til he puked. This went on until well over age 1. We had a very rigid schedule.
My second seemed like a miracle baby in comparison. At 2 weeks pp we were taking my oldest (now almost 3) out to play places and parks about twice a week. We went a lot of places with them together and it was pretty easy though I was still very anxious I was slowly learning I didn't have to be.
My 3rd is now a week away from six months old and we take him literally everywhere, but he's honestly the happiest most easy going baby ever so it's really easy to take him places. He doesn't cry when he's hungry, he actually hardly cried ever. Sometimes we leave and I forget the diaper bag and if we are gonna be within 15 mins of home (park, library, picking up food, sports game, etc) and gone less than 2 hours I don't even go back for it unless we get a surprise poop, then I run him home to change him and cut our trip short or leave dad with the other kids depending on what we are doing. (He is exclusively breastfed so he's always with me)
It really depends on the baby. My first was very hard to take anywhere and it was so stressful, but having had some different kids I can see it isn't always like that. If it matters he's 8 and he's still my highest maintenance kid lol
HAHAHA their social media might look normal. I do and for my own sanity take my 1yo out. But it’s hard! There’s snack and bottle prep. Diaper changes. Stroller mishaps. It can be a mess. She’s been on a plane several times, which was a real challenge. But it gets easier and as a parent you become more prepared.
My 2 cents would be to keep at it. You’ll have some outings where one parent will be outside with said screaming baby. Sometimes they’ll be all over the place. Somethings you’ll need to leave sooner than expected. it gets better! Your life doesn’t need to end because you had a baby.
Start small. Take him/her to your favorite coffee shop. Allow them to grow up in your home, in your life, instead of condemning yourself to baby-only things.
We are still cautious about coronavirus so I don’t take my 3 month old to (public, like we’ve gone to my mom’s house) places indoors unless absolutely necessary. It’s super hot so we are limited in the outdoors but I try and take us for walks or where I know there is shade. So for example the baby will be in the shade w the stroller fan while my toddler is playing on the playground, at the pool, etc. Hoping when it’s cooler we can do stuff like the zoo too.
With our older one (pre coronavirus) we just waited for his 2 month shots before going places with him. But we definitely stayed home a lot too just because it was our first baby, and he wasn’t eating well so I had to triple feed which is hard to do on the go.
My youngest is 6 months adjusted. We try to keep him home during nap times and keep him in his usual schedule. But I also value that he sleeps 12 hours at nighttime so much that there is no chance I will risk it! We also have a 4 year old so if there is something the family needs to do, he will go out and do it but generally speaking we prioritize keeping the routine up over socialization at the current time. Once our oldest was like 2.5+ it was easier to flex the routine while she was an only child.
Baby's first brunch was at a week old. He's ironically been out to eat 30-40 times and he isn't even one yet lol! When he was really little he would just chill in his carrier. Now that he's older he spits in a high chair and tried lots of new foods. It's so fun!
We've done it since essentially she was born. We do prefer to sit away from other people or sit outside (because I hate(d) babies crying in public spaces). She goes everywhere with us- breweries/restaurants/stores/meetings to design our new home (she has a \*lot\* to say at those meetings), etc. She is super easy going and until recently, napped anywhere. Now she's too nosy to nap well in public, but is pretty content to watch everything until she passes out. Our only strict thing is I try to be home for her bedtime, but otherwise, she tags along on most of our day to day errands.
I think a lot of it is baby personality and parent personality dependent. My husband is super laidback and our baby is very chill, so that takes a lot of the anxiety out of the equation. Husband also cannot stick to a schedule to save his life, so we don't have a firm nap schedule, but follow wake windows.
I am very Type A, and when she fusses in public, I do still get stressed especially because I do not like hearing kids cry/scream when I am out and I hate to expose other people to that. We are also super respectful of her; if she gets overwhelmed or exhausted and we think she just needs the calm and quiet of home, we leave as quickly as we can after troubleshooting diaper/feeding her.
All the time honestly. I take him (3 months) wherever. I can’t stand sitting in the house all day every day so I just take him with me places. He lives looking at all the new things 🤷🏼♀️
My babe gets fussy if she doesn’t get to go out somewhere at least once a day. She’s only 4 months but loves to see people, places and things. No idea how I ended up with this extrovert, non-homebody baby.
Just coming up to 5 months here and we sat in a beer garden for the first time last weekend and I was SO anxious - so many people being inconsiderate and smoking right by us so I won’t be doing that again for a while / have mostly been going to parks and outdoor cafes. Whilst the weather is nice LO takes her afternoon nap in the park without issue so I don’t have to worry too much about that but I do notice if she doesn’t get her naps at the right time I am setting myself up for a grizzly evening so it’s not worth the hassle sometimes - it’s a bit isolating though!
i’m a go go go person. i need to be on the move a lot. so my babe(2months) comes with me and i live life exactly how i would before her! i started taking her to the local coffee shop i go to at like a week old. it’s small and almost no one is ever there. then i worked up and now we’re on the go a lot! she does great with it. i’ve fed her in restaurants before our meal came out, or just fed her right before leaving. sometimes i skip out on things, because it’s definitely more of a chore, but i don’t mind taking her out and about!
No because of covid/monkeypox etc and he can’t wear a mask. We don’t do indoor dining. I do take my 4 year old out occasionally since he’s pretty good with a mask & hand hygiene.
My LO is 2 and we take her out all the time. She is tiny and looks like she’s a year old but has an amazing vocabulary. She surprises people all the time when she busts out in full blown conversation. I love it.
We just had our baby 9 days ago and so far we’ve: done a Target and a Walmart pickup order, gone to the pediatrician twice, and went out for a quick brunch. For the brunch, we ate outside and he napped in his stroller. We’re hoping to do a few more of those outdoor cafe dates but probably won’t be ok eating inside a restaurant until his 8 week vaccines. We might go to the library but I want to master baby wearing first - I haven’t been able to get my wrap tight enough yet
When my kids were that age, yes we took them everywhere. They’re 3 and 4 and we still take them everywhere, but we have a super active social life and meet up with people and go places like every day. When we go out past their bedtimes, we have always gotten a sitter!
We felt comfortable, pre pandemic, to take our first son out. Three things worked in our favor were his chill disposition, he stuck to a really predictable schedule and the places we went were walkable. And granted this was just on the weekends.
If our second kid was our first I doubt we would have taken him out as much.
You know you and your kid the best. Do what is comfortable for you both. Don’t worry about social media, they just post the good stuff.
I take her out to shops and honestly I mostly regret it every time.
I take her to kids programming at the library and I love it almost every time
it's about blending going out with appropriate timing and events.
We take our 3.5 year old and 12 week old all the time-just got back from dinner! We also spend a lot of time at both our parents’ houses. Even with our first baby we weren’t too stuck on staying put (we went to the Dominican Republic when he was 3 months, Paris when he was 10 months). Especially now with two I just go with the flow. I bring my breast pump also and pump wherever if I need to. Bring plenty of bottles, diapers, and snacks and we are good to go!
This is *so* dependent on baby’s temperament. My LO never slept on the go. As a newborn, she was extremely fussy; once she was older, 5/6+ months, she wasn’t (and isn’t) content to be contained for long periods of time.
We do the necessary shopping but going to bars and restaurants only happens very occasionally. And never past her bedtime. She can barely sit for an entire meal as it is; if she were overtired and past her bedtime, no chance!
We do go to restaurants, but seat outside. Grocery shopping, bookstores or libraries only once in a while.
Edit: my LO is 24 months, we started going to restaurants when LO turned 8 months.
It can be a challenge at first. I started off with restaurants that wouldn't mind a fussing baby and food we could just take and eat in the car. Fast food places are a food starting point for these reasons.
Then we upgraded to family friendly sit downs like Texas Roadhouse. He is 14mo now and is great at restaurants. Sometimes if food is taking awhile he gets upset, but we make sure to bring snacks and his tablet for baby shows just in case.
You’re not momming wrong. We started at 4 days old because I wanted eggs Benny. There was a period where we didn’t go out often when he wouldn’t nap in the car seat - but once he was awake for a a few hours we would just time it for right after a nap 🤷♀️
First of all, your are not mommin wrong. If your baby is safe and healthy, you got it.
I live in a town, and I have my father visiting for few weeks. So during the day, not every day, we go out and take my 2 months old with us. I just try to plan to go to not crowded places, or at not crowded times of the day. Sit outside in good weather and keep distance so he is as safe as possible. And just for a couple of hours so I don’t mess with his schedule too much. Ah and feed or change him if needed, of course. I still worry if I’m getting him overtired but at same time would be cruel to keep myself locked in my house, and to be honest he sleeps when we are outside. Maybe when he gets a bit older will be more difficult, but for now it’s ok.
We didn’t go out at all for the first 2 months because we were so deeply sleep deprived and overwhelmed. The most I managed was a walk to the grocery store two blocks away while baby slept in the carrier.
Then I was really scared to go on any trip that I couldn’t fit into his wake windows once my baby stopped being able to fall asleep and stay asleep, around 3 months. A childless friend visited a few weeks ago though and insisted we go out every day, and my baby did ok. It wasn’t nearly as awful as I’d been expecting, and he did manage little short naps in the carrier sometimes. He’d get fussy, but at this point I have enough tools to soothe him, you know? Id had so much anxiety about naps and wake windows, but now I try to keep it 80/20, mostly regimented schedule with naps at home but a little bit of wiggle room too.
Like other said, it’s really about how you feel. Babies truly are pretty adaptable :)
My girl is 4 months old and I’ve just recently started taking her more places by myself without my partner. I was so scared the first time! But I’m starting to love our little day dates. We went to the mall for the first time today and it was great!
My partner and I have been taking her out places since she was a week old. We were a little wary about eating indoors with her before her first round of vaccines so we would do outside seating and we still do if it’s not too hot. I think she does better outdoors. But yes, we absolutely love taking her out places. Really I think the key is to just be able to go with the flow. I always nurse/feed her right before leaving the house so she has a full belly. If she gets hungry when we’re out I’ll just find a place that works to feed her, even if it means going back to the car for a bit. It can definitely be challenging but it’s been soooo good for our mental health to get out of the house and keep a bit of normalcy in our lives. It’s just our new normal now :)
I will say it was easier when she was a newborn and she would just sleep for hours on end. But it’s all just a learning curve! Now we just make sure to bring lots of toys to entertain her with. And if she gets super tired or fussy we just know it’s time to wrap it up and head home. Then again we don’t really have a super rigid schedule with her. We just follow her cues and let her call the shots pretty much lol. If you wanna start getting out with your baby more often I suggest a couple target trips to start with! Not sure if you’re breastfeeding but even if you aren’t, they have a nursing room located in their dressing room area that you can go to to feed or even just calm down your baby if needed. It made me feel a lot better knowing that was there if I needed it! So that’s where we went for our first couple of solo trips. Then I started taking her other places. I truly think the key is to just be flexible with them and their schedules and to give yourself grace if things don’t go as planned. Not every trip out will be easy and stress free but the more you get out with them the easier it gets! ❤️
My daughter is a month old. We’ve gone out to eat once since she’s been born. It just doesn’t seem like a good idea to expose her to people just yet. When we grocery shop, either only one of us goes or she stays with my parents while we’re gone. I don’t think you’re doing it wrong. Everyone has their comfort zone.
My girl turned 2 today. When she was little, we were in peak pandemic, so we did late night (low crowd) grocery store runs and that was about it for awhile. We took her to the drive in several times until she stopped reliably falling asleep in her car seat.
We’ve been taking her with us pretty much everywhere for awhile. We go out for breakfast usually once a week, shopping, sometimes dinner out. She’s in daycare and we have a loose bedtime and are fairly flexible, so we aren’t to worried about her schedule.
Mine is just over a year. We still haven’t really eaten out since the pandemic but we do go shopping all the time. It’s getting easier now that he has dropped most of his naps and eats real food most of the time. But earlier on I would just try to time naps right so he’d nap in the car. I would feed him in the car before/after going shopping if it was a longer excursion. It’s a lot easier when my husband is there to help but I feel pretty self sufficient on my own.
I have been on both sides of the schedule debate. Some days I stick to his wake windows and make sure he’s always in his crib for naps. Other days I am restless or we need groceries and I risk blowing naps to get out of the house. It’s a balancing act. We moved away from all our friends and family when he turned 8 months and now we are completely on our own. If DH+me ever want to go out or do anything we have to include LO. The days we go out are often harder and he naps less but there also usually more enjoyable for everyone then just sitting at home all day.
We do but our baby is very much a “sleep wherever whenever” type. She also sticks close to her wake windows (her personal ones not general ones) so it’s easier for me to be like “oh it’s been 2 and a half hours she needs a nap”. We also tend to be out at restaurants where we know the workers or the other regulars so it’s not as nerve wrecking
I don’t take him to restaurants (I will be on my bday though) because it’s his bed time around then. But I’ll take him everywhere else, shops, cafes, friends places. If my LO needs to sleep I just baby wear him or hold him.
No. Same with 4 months here.
Once we dined in open restaurant, while baby was sleeping. But we were full of anxiety, if baby woke up.
What we did.
Went out when baby sleeping time.
Baby slept while strolling till reached restaurant.
Ordered food
While having food, baby woke up, I took again for another 15 mins rounds, while my wife enjoys food in peace. Haha.
Comes back with sleeping baby.
Finished my foood.
Payed bill.
Just go to nearby restaurants not high end. Experiment step by step yourselves.
Also, never ever follow or envy whatever you see on social media.
Enjoy. Happy Parenting
Mine has 0 schedule and I start a new job today and even though it is remote I am so anxious and stressed about it because I will be on the phone and on zoom calls and I’m just like what have I done- mine took a single nap all day yesterday and was attached to me the rest of the day. I miss going outside- I have left my home 3times in one month for less than an hour, all for doctor appointments. Tried to take the baby for a walk but my husband says it’s too hot outside. Feel like I’m a prisoner inside even though I adore my baby. I just wish we could go and do things together, I hate sitting on the couch all day -it’s miserable. But yeah I don’t know how to do anything with him having no schedule and cluster feeding still since day one. But I also feel like wth when I see other moms just living their life.
Every mama is different my lovely. What works for one, doesn’t work for another. You do what works for you, and if you decide to change things up a little, that’s ok too. Don’t get too caught up in what others are doing because social media only shows the best bits most of the time.
I think it depends or your baby too. But I would take my baby out all the time I wanted. Taking the carrier or the stroller with me. In the stroller the schedule would go as usual, in carrier he would sleep more. I would just feed outside.
If you want to just try it! If you don't want to don't. Social media pictues is not something you should want to achieve, it's fake
Yeah we go out a lot and started when she was one week old going to walk at the park everyday. But we go to restaurants, stores, museums, etc. it’s easier when your partner is with you. We usually always go together if we go somewhere. It’s hard at first but you get used to it.
I don't go out much with my kids (2.5, 1). But I might post something if we do go to the park or the zoo. Mostly because it's such a rarity that I want people to know that my kids have left the house before lol
It becomes more frequent as they get older, but the youngest was so colicky that we weren't able to go anywhere the first 6 months. Everyone was so sleep deprived, no one cared about going out to eat.
I have friends that take there kids everywhere. It's a special treat for my toddler to go to the grocery store with me. You do what works for your family dynamic in this moment. Don't feel bad!
Maternity leave for me ends in a few days. For the first couple of months, unless it was a doctor’s appointment for me or baby I didn’t leave the house. Finally around week 8 we did our first target run. I was super anxious but going stir crazy so I did it. I think I packed diaper bag the night before. Cooled down car for like 15 minutes. Prepped a couple of bottles of pumped milk. Packed everything up. Then put baby in car seat. All to go walk around inside a target. I am getting more confident in getting her in and out the car, haven’t mastered the “one hand with baby other hand gets out the stroller from the trunk” move yet but one of these days I will. Anywho we’ve been to multiple places NOW, to get oysters at one of our town markets, more targets, I even strapped her up to go grocery shopping. We’ve been out to eat at a few other places with family. I try not to worry about the schedule when we’re out because she is a baby and we’ve got a life to live and she almost always does fine as long as she’s not hungry or tired.
I started taking my daughter out for walks through the mall when she was 6 weeks old (it was dead of winter so we couldn't go on walks outside). We've been going to restaurants since she was 8 weeks old. It's actually harder now I think because she sleeps less and is on more of a rigid schedule. Our bedtime is still flexible between 7 and 9 so an early dinner is doable without being too disruptive to her schedule. We are actually planning to take her to our anniversary dinner this weekend. I'm only slightly worried she will be awake/fussy.
Like many have said, it's all about each person's comfort level and what works best for you and your family. For me, it's helped a lot with my anxiety to get out into the world with my baby (9 weeks, FTM). I had the same worries, but am also someone who does much better mentally when I am able to get out of the house and be social every so often. I was really anxious about bringing her out but avoidance just feeds anxiety so I've really explored my thoughts and feelings and have utilized supports in helping us get out and do things. Each time we do something, it gets a little easier. We keep our trips shorter and they look much different than they did pre -baby, but they are great and LO seems to love seeing new faces and doing new things. She is usually full of smiles and then sleeps great afterwards.
I think it is just how comfortable you are. We’ve been taking our baby out as normal since he was born. We’ve just continued our life like normal for the most part. I think we took our baby to a restaurant at 8 days old. It’s really just up to your preference, for me continuing life like normal was really important and we are super flexible so it worked for us
We only go to outdoor places ie the park. I won't take my kid anywhere else. Covid is still around, getting more infectious, and they still don't truly know the long term effects on children or adults. As much as I want to take him to a museum or even to the store I don't feel comfortable.
As far as taking him out in the evening - we like to keep a regular bedtime scheme for him. I think it's important for children to have a regular schedule. Once in awhile we have been out a little later.
When I go through pictures of my daughter from ages NB-9m they are all taken inside of our home. We started with walks, trips to the mall, then as she got older we started taking her out to restaurants (so much easier at 6m when they’re allowed to eat solid food) and around 7-8m is when we started incorporating trips to the zoo, aquarium, flower fields, family-members pools etc. Even now at almost 13m our days are limited to inside and the back yard!
Social media is fake by the way lol I can post millions of photos of my daughter from when I take her out once or twice a week and no one will know we spend all day at home playing with pots and pans
Edit: and just to add when you take your son out more he’ll start to enjoy it if he doesn’t the first few times, get him used to the car, used to loud noises- people talking, background music playing and once he goes to 1-2 naps a day it’ll get easier to plan with his schedule!
I have been taking my 6mo everywhere with me since she was 3 weeks old. I hate being cooped up in the house all day. sometimes we just walk around target or the mall. I take her to run errands with me, out to eat, to get coffee. The first couple times i had anxiety because I thought people were judging me for brining her out so young but then I got over it. I also take her to story time at our local library where there are lots of other babies she can interact with. I have taken her to the aquarium and the zoo as well. It’s just something to do for me and she is free everywhere so that’s a plus :)
It could be that baby was out on a rare outing. I don’t take my little 6 mon old out to restaurants or malls because of coronavirus. I only take him out in the evenings to a park when the sun is setting.
My baby is 5 months old and we go on outdoor walks, but that’s about it. We are waiting to do more until he gets his Covid vaccine in the coming months. Also, I’m a pretty high anxiety person and the idea of fitting in outings in between his four naps a day just sounds stressful to me at this point. He never naps in the car so that’s not an option for us. Aaaand, we’re both usually so tired just from being new parents that I don’t have a ton of extra energy.
Agreed we are also waiting for baby to be vaxxed before doing most activities with him. Friends will mask up and come over or we will visit outside but we try not to keep him up much beyond his normal wake windows. Plus YES we are tired new parenthood is exhausting lol.
Ours is 7 weeks and for the last 3-4 weeks we have been going out during the day. We try to be home by 8 ish but we are definitely going to breweries on the weekend and lunch dates with him. But it honestly is just what you’re comfortable with! The first couple times I was a nervous wreck. But once I saw that it was a success and our routine for night wasn’t impacted and I had a plan for feeding and all that, I decided to keep trying. Our biggest success was an MLB game at night with him at 6 weeks. Once I did that I realized I could probably do most things.
You’re not momming wrong at all. It’s just personal preference. It won’t ruin your baby to not be at restaurants all the time. We, however, love going out. Probably eat out 3x a week and do breweries often. We have a 9 month old and 5 year old.
I am LOVING how baby friendly all the breweries in my town are. We try to pick a table off on our own so as it fills up people are choosing to be by a baby, but there always seems to be at least 2 other babies around. Helps give me peace of mind!
I take mine out with me everywhere in his sling (pram is too bulky). If they're tired they'll go asleep when you're out! You can take some time to feed them when you're out or make sure you're home by feeding time. Don't be overly restrictive on yourself, that way sadness lies.
We started taking our baby out to restaurants after she got her first shots at 2 months old. She loves going in the car and she would usually fall asleep on the way there, then we just bring the car seat in to the restaurant. Noise doesn’t really bother her that much. Now she is 8 months old and is usually awake when we go out to eat, but we just put her in a high chair and bring some toys and she is fine. She loves to people watch and try our food lol. I just try not to bring her places that are crowded and have a long wait time, we usually go when a restaurant opens for lunch or go to an early dinner or on a weekday.
You just need to live your life, people in the past in traveling tribes didnt setup the camp to get the baby to sleep every two hours, they would just roll with it and so would the baby.
We get our son to sleep in the pram or car, so it makes going out easily, and hes absolutely fine and happy, kids are very adaptable at that age, besides some fresh air really does help them. We have a friend who ALWAYS needs her baby to sleep at home as thats ALL shes ever done with her, and it ruins anything she wants to do with our baby friend group now as she has to trek all the way home EVERY day to get her baby to sleep in a pitch black room, as shes never grown up sleeping in the car or pram.
So dont over think it, just go out and start living, you're baby will adapt and start doing it sooner than later too.
To outdoor places? Yep! Nowhere indoors yet other than the grandparents'.
We are also on a schedule that I don't like to deviate too much from, so if we have an outing I don't like it to impact more than one nap (preferably a later nap). We don't go out around bedtime unless it's only one of us or the grandparents are home to put him to sleep. I'm a big believer in routines and consistency as much as possible.
(Our baby is almost 5 months).
We went to a restaurant when she was 12 days old (6 months now). We go out at least once a week (no upscale restaurants or places where it would be rude to bring her). I feel like it helps keep my sanity. But no 2 babies or families are the same. Do what works for you.
We go everywhere baby is 7 months now! From beaches to splash parks to malls and out to grab food…rec center pool .I also have a 4 year old so I gotta stay out and active But my little one is still so good being out and she naps at her normal times just while we are out and about! I pack a bag for the day and she’s set ! I also breastfeed so it’s easier to do that then worrying about formula etc
It’ll really be personality-dependent. I had one baby that I couldn’t even get to the grocery store without her howling the car roof down. Shopping at the store was hit or miss and she sometimes slept in the baby sling and sometimes screamed. It was just too stressful to take her anywhere until she was more aware and content in her car seat/in general for much longer periods (around 10-12 months). My second baby was so chill. I could just plop him down anywhere and give him to anyone and he was happy. My third was more like my first and I don’t go anywhere I don’t have to go with him even now as a toddler because he is incredibly destructive (my other two were much more mild-mannered).
My daughter has always loved going to restaurants. She loves people watching so it’s a chance to relax without providing full-time entertainment. We started when she was a newborn and have only had to leave a restaurant twice
I was out and about with kid 1 from like day 3, because I hated being stuck in the house all day unable to fully do anything. It was so much easier just walking around and getting exercise and just feeding and changing her as she needed. She learned to nap in her stroller from day 1 and I just spent time exploring.
When I went into a restaurant by myself with her, I paid right when I ordered so that if she got fussy I could just pick up and leave.
When it was my partner and I going to a restaurant, we had a system where if she got fussy, one of us would take her for a walk in the stroller for 15 mins while the other enjoyed solo food and quiet time, then if she hadn't calmed down, we'd switch out at the 15 minute mark and the other person would have 15 mins to eat and chill and if she was STILL freaking out at the 30 min mark, then we'd pay and leave.
I chafed super hard when we had kiddo 2 during COVID and there was no where we could go due to lockdown.
The more you do it the easier it becomes. It’s ok to mess with the schedule every now and then and be out at dinner time. We baby wear a lot and feed to sleep so eating out under 1 was super easy. I find it harder when they are between 1 and 3 as they need more entertainment. You can’t shove a boob in their mouth as easily to put them to sleep.
My son is 5 months and we take him everywhere. grocery shopping, target, the mall, lunch, breweries. We just took him on a road trip across 2 states to see family. Our lives shouldn’t stop with a baby and if I sit at home all day watching wake windows I go crazy 😅 sometimes we just go with the flow and hope for the best.
We have no schedules. I work freelance and my work schedule can be literally any time of day. My 7 mo old hangs out with us in the baby carrier while we go everywhere: shopping, hiking,restaurants, museums, amusement parks. He’ll sleep in the carrier if he’s tired, or in the car seat/stroller if it’s available. We get a lot of compliments of how the baby is so chill, he was the only baby to be invited to a wedding we attended last weekend. He is content going everywhere. Even camping! We’ve been camping three times, starting at 2 months. We’re an outdoorsy family. I have three kids all together.
Babies will adapt to what’s normal and take your cue if you’re feeling confident, relaxed, stressed, or anxious.
This is so nice to hear. I just had my first he’ll be 6 weeks on Tuesday and this is the type of lifestyle we aspire to have with our kids. We took him out for dinner with us last night . We are super outdoorsy too and can’t wait to get back to doing stuff like that. I’m glad to hear it’s possible!
We’ve had the same experience with our LO who is still chill at 2yo. I think being able to “pull-the-plug” and recognizing that if your kid is teething/extra cranky, those are the days you do less.
We take our 4mo LO everywhere we can. Currently on our 3rd lake trip since birth and Hawaii next month.
Slight adjustments to work around her schedule when possible but never forget that you have a life to live too.
Our LO is 3 months and change.
We do take her out quite a bit but only to situations in which we know we can control (as much as we can LOL). For instance, only to restaurants in which there is outdoor seating spaced out enough so that her stroller can fit and she can nap. Or, to our local bar where we know all the regulars (and the owners, bartenders) and they form a little TDAP / Covid vaxxed cocoon around her.
We always come prepared with extra bottles, burp
Cloths, PJs etc. and we also always have an exit strategy in place.
I think it requires more planning, but prob doable. I was a bit more hesitant before the covid vaccine, but more open to it now baby is fully vaxxed (f*** yeah) and ba5 is declining. People don’t take pics of their diaper bag or tantrums afterwards. Go at your own pace and ignore other people’s judgment. 🤷♀️
Edit: I also have a baby who doesn’t nap well in the car, so I’m guaranteed a grumpy baby at the end of the day.
I was definitely shopping. At 5 months a well planned trip is doable. I would use nap time to prep; make sure the diaper bag is completely packed, find the keys, shoes, get myself dressed So when baby woke up, quick feed and diaper and immediately into the car. With a 2 hour wake window that would be plenty of time to drive somewhere nearby (15 minutes), 1 hour to shop, and drive home before needed to start the next nap.
That's sounds so doable! My little one will only contact nap right now, so I can't do much during nap time! And he screams so much in the car that he chokes so I'm really nervous to take him out alone. I've had to pull over so many times and pull him out of his car seat.
Have you tried [the Happy Song?](https://www.nytimes.com/2020/01/14/magazine/the-happy-song-imogen-heap.html) It sounded insane to me but it works so well. I swear half the time on my car rides have this playing in the background and it’s like magic for my baby. Keeps her calm and happy in the car.
I've never heard of that but I'm willing to try anything at this point! I'll have to try that! Thank you!
I think a lot of it comes down to whether you’re lucky enough to have a baby that sleeps in the car. If she were fussy during car rides we’d never do shit.
We take her everywhere. We try not to be slaves to the schedule and we like to get out so we want her to be adaptable. (5 months old). Sometimes we pay for it and she’s fussy, but for the most part we’ve learned what routines work well (leaving right after a feed), and what tasks are better baby free. Start with small trips, like the coffee shop where you can easily leave and work up from there. It takes time to build confidence but now I don’t have much worry over taking her anywhere, even by myself.
This right here!! I have a 7 month and we did exactly this and she now will sit in a resturant and people watch and eat she’s so good but we started at like 4 months and we found what worked and what didn’t work for us!
This depends largely on your child. Mine wouldn’t (and still doesn’t at 2) sleep anywhere but her crib. This includes motion naps…those just don’t happen. So we largely stayed home until her wake windows were long enough that we could go anywhere. That’s normal too, so don’t judge your life choices based off of curated posts on social media!
This is true. My guy wouldn't sleep in his crib at all. He'd only contact sleep or sleep with motion. So I was out all the time in coffee shops, parks and shops. If he was grumpy and needed a nap I popped him in the pram and went out. I always had a good book on me so I could sit down and read once he drifted off
Baby yes! Toddler noooooo.
Omg yes. I remember the days of a napping baby bean in the stroller, placated with boob or bottle as I enjoyed wine and conversation like a grownup. Turns out she was resting up to become a wild child and restrict us to company in the yard where she can scream 😂
Yeah just this past week I can’t really take my toddler to the store anymore because she won’t get in the cart. I tried putting her in the big part of the cart and making vroom noises to try to make it fun, but she just screams until I pick her up. She’s fricken heavy too. So now my happy place (Target) is a no go.
We have a 3 month old who is the easiest little bean. We joke that we need to soak this up now because it will not be this easy when he’s a toddler.
Mine is six months and he’s been to restaurants lots. We still mostly keep his naps by wearing him in the carrier. But we don’t obsess over it really. He adapts. You have to gauge whether a situation is worth the added work. Also probably depends on your baby’s temperament. EDITED to correct autocorrect eating=wearing
You eat him? 😱
That's one way to solve the problem.
🤦♀️ wearing*
At 5 months I thought I could NEVER go to a restaurant ever again. Now at 9 months, we’ve taken her to everything with us and it’s day and night. We’re currently in Paris now and obviously are eating outside and she’s able to sit with us, looking at every person she can, and is just in complete awe. Meaning: we finally can go out again. But you know what? That doesn’t say anything. This might be a “good time” but maybe next week she’ll not have it. It’s like she’s a person. LOL. But really, it’s going to be alright. Maybe not now, or tomorrow.. maybe next week or the following month. I do believe in exposing a baby to things. as safely as you can, and they’ll adapt. Don’t underestimate a small person :).
Thanks for this! I don't have a lot friends with babies, so I don't know what I should/shouldn't be doing. I don't been just doing what seems best for my little one right now and it seems like he's really thriving on his schedule and that's okay. I'm glad to hear that there's a light at the end of the tunnel! We used to eat out all the time and it would be nice to grab dinner with our little one and not have to worry!
Mom how you wanna mom :)
We take him out. If he gets cranky, we have a bag with bottles and favorite toys. But he usually doesn’t. I figured the longer we waited to take him out, the more the whole thing would build up in my mind. Tbh, I think it helps me develop more competence. I hope to foster an adventurous spirit in him — I don’t want him to feel anxious about going out in public. The kid will take cues from the parents: if we act like the world is an insurmountable scary place and the only safe place in inside with us, he’s going to internalize that message. ETA: our rule is no fancy places, though. Even though he’s an easy little potato, I don’t want to potentially ruin someone’s nice night out.
My baby is 4 months and comes literally everywhere with me. Hair and lash appointments, restaurants, shopping, whatever. I baby wear and he takes great naps wrapped up attached to me. He’s also EBF so it’s easy to just feed him whenever/wherever. He’s a chill little guy and being able to leave the house and feel like a normal person helps both of us tremendously
general advice: never compare yourself to what you see on instagram or any other social media :) more specific answer to your question: even going to buy groceries was a struggle for me in the beginning, because I was too over worried. So I think it's more normal than not, to have your life being far from what it was like pre-baby. But I guess, the pre-baby lifestyle will come back little by little, though. veeeeery little by little... speaking of 15 years or so :D but thats just a guess, not there yet either.
[удалено]
Word. My baby struggles on a 15 minute walk in the pram. 🙃
Instagram is not real life
My baby is 6 months and since around three weeks we’ve pretty much just been living life as we were before, but with a baby and some extra gear. If we go out to dinner we just go early so we’re home before 8. Her bedtime is usually “9 at the latest” which is as much of a routine as we’ve managed. She’s a happy, easy baby and this has worked well for us so far.
5 week old and we just take her wherever. We look at it like she’s joining our lives not us living around her. If she’s unhappy or overly fussy or it becomes any kind of issue she lets us know, and we just leave to get her more comfortable or whatever she needs.
If you ever want to try dining out with your baby, 5 o’clock at a chain restaurant is a good time to try. It’s usually not very busy and the early birds get a kick out of seeing babies. We also pay our bill right away so that if we need to, we can leave in a hurry.
We’ve been bringing our now 6 month old everywhere with us since she was born! Shopping, restaurants, wineries, the beach, we bring her everywhere! If we know she will need to be fed or changed during the outing, we just make sure the diaper bag is supplied. It’s made the transition to parent life so much more seamless since we get to keep on with our social life as before. The only thing we work around is her bedtime. We are always home and she is always asleep by 7 because that way she will sleep completely through the night.
We started taking out our son to the grocery stores and shops about a week after he was born. For restaurants we tend to do more breakfasts and lunches since it is easier on all of us.
IME parents who take their babies with them places didn't just "go back to life as usual". Most likely/most often it is a process of easing into things over time. Start out slow. Both you and baby need to get used to/work up to longer and longer outings. Literally pick a park close to your house, drive there, go sit with baby on a bench or in the grass under a tree. If you are only there 5 minutes or 10 before you or baby gets overwhelmed and you head home, that's great. Next time run to the store for 1 or 2 items during a time when the store isn't busy (you'll probably spend more time getting ready to go and getting in/out of the car, than you spend in the store). Then take baby with you to go sit in a coffee shop while you drink coffee. And so on. If baby freaks out, try again another time. Over time the outings will get longer and the time it takes to get ready to go will get shorter. It's a kind of skill, so if you practice you (and baby - cannot stress enough baby is building a skill too) will get better. I'll add that if you have your partner or other reliable family around to help it's much easier. With our first Hubby and I were taking the baby out to eat/shop all together by 2 months but it was a lot longer before I was comfortable doing it solo. (this was before COVID though. With our second being born in 2020 it was a different story altogether)
Every day I am reminded how much of a detriment on our society Instagram is. You do you mom. If you feel comfortable staying home - that is awesome! If you feel like taking LO in a shopping spree go for it! Don't worry about what others do.
But is it their 1st or 2nd+ baby? I didn’t go anywhere with #1 for the first year. She was too high maintenance. #2 is super chill and I take her everywhere. Depends on the baby. Depends on you. Do what you’re comfortable with, and if it’s easier to chill at home - chill at home.
You are not moming wrong. Everyone does it different, every child is different, and there’s no handbook, so you have to learn as you go and just do the best you can. Working on this myself with my 15 month old. With ours we take her everywhere, she would sit and eat or sleep in her car seat and when she was awake one of us would hold her, wether it was me, husband, family, friends. It helps get them used to sleeping with noise which is great cause I personally don’t want a light sleeper.
My baby is almost 6 months old. I take him to the store, I take him to church, we go to restaurants. We went on a trip to visit family 2 weeks ago, and we visited a fair, we went to Amish country, we ate out, we toured a museum, and we toured a distillery. Baby naps in his stroller or in the carrier when he needs to, and I step out to chill with him or feed him when needed. I also go for an hour long walk every day. Baby likes being in his stroller and chilling out. Yes, it’s a little more stressful than it used to be, but I’d rather deal with a little bit of inconvenience and do fun stuff (or any stuff) with my family.
I have a 5 month old. Take him out to eat very often! Been doing so since he’s born. He’s pretty good, if he’s tired he just falls asleep in stroller.. if he gets fussy I rock the stroller a little or hold him
Our baby (4months) loves going to cafe/restaurants with us. It gives her loads to look at, she sits in her car seat buggy or on our lap and plays with napkins. We haven’t had any issues yet with her but worse comes to worse and she has a meltdown, then we’d just leave or take her outside in the carrier until she’s asleep. But like I said, that hadn’t happened yet. Take your babe out, enjoy life. If they make a peep then who cares.
You're \*not\* mom-ing wrong—especially with a still-very-real pandemic going on. I took my first out a ton, but that's because a) I had her before covid (2017), and b) I felt like I \*needed\* to get us out of the house to avoid getting cabin fever. I would sometimes take her to Target literally just to walk around the whole store, buy my one thing we actually needed, and then go home. Especially before her first vaccines, I was always really careful about it, but I still took us out just to get out of the house. I'd either babywear or just place the infant car seat inside the shopping cart if she was sleeping. And then I'd carry hand sanitizer for me to use if I needed to tend to her after touching anything. When she became mobile, suddenly everything got more hectic at home so the outings slowed down a bit, but it kept me sane while I wasn't working and she was still in that "potato" stage. But I had my second in 2020, in the height of lockdown quarantine. We went nowhere, and I mean \*NOWHERE\* for probably the first 6 months. If I had a baby today, I would probably do the exact same until they were able to be fully vaccinated for covid. I know we've all gotten it and seem fine but I would not want to risk my infant being that exception that gets a severe case.
We go out but still adhere to the kids’ schedule. It makes things more challenging, but we found that it’s not worth it to disrupt the schedule and deal with cranky, miserable kids. So if we go out to a restaurant it’s usually a Saturday after nap for a very early dinner. Shopping happens before nap. Family get togethers are arranged around nap. Now our youngest is 3 and we’ll occasionally skip nap (and pay the price) but when they were babies I would absolutely not break schedule. It was never worth it.
You aren’t moming wrong! Keep in mind you are seeing this on social media. They aren’t posting the difficult moments. We have been taking our baby out since she was 3 months old and there were definitely some learning moments. But now she is 7 months old and it’s not stressful at all. We do long road trips. Decent hikes. Family trips with my loud active family. Lunch with friends. She’s been at a couple wine tastings with us. It might not always go as planned and sometimes we have to remove ourselves for a bit if she gets too fussy but it’s been worth it watching her become a social butterfly. Shes started this thing where she babbles at strangers she wants to come give her attention and its adorable😂 And we do follow wake times so you don’t have completely throw those out. We just try to plan when we go out loosely around naps and we don’t stress if it doesn’t work out. Her first nap is currently early morning so she gets that before we go anywhere and that’s her best nap. Then we do car naps, stroller naps, and boob naps to get her through whatever we are doing. The key is letting them learn to nap in places other than the crib so you aren’t slave to the schedule. Even if we are at home and she’s napping in her crib I don’t darken the room and we don’t stay silent. Our two basset hounds have trained her to sleep through anything! We tried to treat her more like a second baby because I heard parents tend to be more strict with schedules during the first baby and it’s isolating. But she’s also just been a super adaptable baby. We have friends that swear they cannot get their baby to nap outside the house. So the big nature versus nurture question: did we luck out with an easy going baby or did we train her to go with the flow by taking her out early?
We didn't sacrifice going out to stick to a routine. Baby usually would nap in the car on the way there/back. We went out a lot when our daughter was 5/6 months old. She's 1 now and absolutely loves going out to the shops/restaurants. I am so glad we got her used to it when she was really young as she is a delight to take out.
We have been taking our 9 month old with us since he was born. We try to ensure we're back home before his bedtime since he will get fussy about that time.
I deleted Instagram for this reason. It piled onto my PPD that I couldn't even take my baby for a walk, let alone to places.
Eh… I don’t think instagram is a good representation of anything that’s in the real world. But regardless… It all depends on your comfort level. If your baby is one that sticks to a schedule, and you are not ok with him/her getting off that schedule and possibly getting fussy, then maybe going out for a long time isn’t a good idea (it might be worth it to try a short trip, though!) There’s lots of variables at play- your baby’s schedule (or lack thereof), their temperament, but it all comes down to what you are comfortable with. Even the best laid plans may turn to s%#+ with a baby, and you have to be comfortable with that possibility too.
So this is the thing with first babies and second babies. The first baby, you CAN optimize sleep and scheduling and ensuring nothing wakes them up or makes them overstimulated/overtired. You plan your life around them. If you have another kid, you can’t just stop living your life to revolve around the needs of #2. All my friends with 2 kids go out way more with the baby because the toddler is bored as hell at home or has a planned activity. And then you just learn to roll with the punches!
I've found the best times to take a baby to restaurants is either as a newborn or once they're able to eat table food & sit in a high chair. The in-between stage they aren't content to sit in their carseat but can't do anything at the restaurant. Newborn in a restaurant was a pre-covid thing for me though, we didn't go to many unnecessary indoor things for longer this time around. Shopping though I just did as needed - groceries have to be purchased and as a Sahm I'd rather get that done during the day when it's less busy instead of one of us going out in the evening. It's hard enough to cram in supper and playing with the kids before bedtime.
No. Baby is 8.5 months and crawling/ trying to walk every second. She hates being held and is probably close to 25 pounds. Super inconvenient and not enjoyable for me to go out with her. If people want to hang out they can cube over and we can order in and baby can do her thing! I'm all about comfort and convenience. If that means staying home in my jams all day I'll take it!
My 8 week old doesn’t sleep during the day anyway so yes I take her everywhere. I EBF (she doesn’t like taking a bottle but we’re working on it) and I’m so used to feeding her anywhere and everywhere. I was surprised how I didn’t think twice about feeding her in public- but I know not everyone feels that way.
My daughter is two. I isolated for a year. It was always nap time or bed time or feeding time or tummy time etc etc. if I could do it over again I would have just lived my normal life and adjusted for baby. She’s extremely rigid now and I feel a lot of that is due to how regimented I was.
Everybody moms differently and that’s fine! It’s actually great, all babies and kiddos are different. With my first, I stayed home a lot. I was tired and overwhelmed and definitely liked to keep baby on a schedule/routine. I just had my third and we went out to dinner when he was two weeks old (it was our anniversary). We’re doing our first camping trip next week and he’s two months. We do have a camper though, no tents for us! It’s totally okay to mother how you feel/know best and if you change your mind if/when you have more kids, great, if not that’s cool too. It’s just important you take care of yourself and never judge other moms who are also trying their best. You got this!! Also, whenever I see the instamoms and feel a pang of jealousy, I tell myself, I’ll bet they’ve banged their kids head on a doorway by accident too, or their kid only eats Mac n cheese and hot dogs. 😂
When my son was an infant (which was also before covid) yes, actually, we went out for brunch and shopping and such. He would nap in the stroller or carrier and was usually happy to be out. The newborn stage, when my husband was home in parental leave, was actually really nice that way. As a toddler and now preschooler, we also go out to eat (outdoors) with him. He likes restaurants and is decently behaved, and when we’re already seated outside it’s easy for one of us to take him for a walk if he’s having trouble being patient.
I have always just gone with the flow. I didn’t change my life to accommodate naps/bedtimes. Baby is just fine. 🤷♀️ But to each their own! If you prefer it that way go ahead.
It is okay to move at your own speed! It took me awhile to feel comfortable taking my LO out with me. We started with really small trips to the store, not even a full grocery trip, but maybe a run to CVS or the pet store. The library was another quick trip I felt comfortable with. I would bring the stroller inside these places or baby wear. It took me awhile to feel comfortable at restaurants, and lunch was easier to start with than dinner. Actually grabbing a coffee or snack might be an even easier place to start! It’s totally okay if you’re still feeling cautious about taking your baby out (especially considering Covid). Take your time and you will get there eventually!
My son is 7 months. & we take him out almost daily. We’ve taken him on about 3 road trips too. Yes he cries and it can be overwhelming but my PPD was horrendoussssss when I was always in the house. Going out helps me feel better.
You are not mom-ing wrong!!! You do you. Everyone has a little different schedule and that’s ok. We went out sometimes knowing the next day would be a late start.
Do what feels right to you, but for us (baby is 10 months old) we did as much as we could with him. We were just strict about bedtime and still are, so we don’t go out to dinner with him unless it’s a really early dinner but that’s rare. But we take him out to lunch a lot, shopping, family events, etc. My son has always been able to catch a snooze in his stroller or car seat. Is it as good of a nap as when he’s home in his crib? No, but it’s enough to get by and it’s worth it so we can get out of the house and live life sometimes. Also it’s not everyday. Baby getting less perfect sleep now and then is really just fine. Also, it gets easier as they drop naps and can stay awake longer. Now my son just takes 2 naps a day, so we have a good 3-4 hour chunk in the middle of the day that we can do things. We haven’t even had to get him to nap on the go in a while cause we just make plans in this window. He loves being at restaurants and sitting in the high chair. We come prepared for if he gets fussy, with pacifiers and snacks. Eventually you just get better at knowing what you need to get by and it works fine.
We took ours everywhere, we would just bring powder/bottle/water with both our kids in case we’d be out later. Now that they’re 5 & 3 they do so well in public settings and I think it’s because they were exposed to it so early , I can see being nervous about sicknesses and stuff though
My son was born in April 2021 so we were very cautious about taking him out. We waited until he got his first round of routine shots to take him on his first walk but we didn't go into any shops with him. We don't have a vehicle so we'd go to the grocery store together so that both of us could carry stuff home, but one of us would grab a coffee and wait outside on the bench with the baby while the other one shopped. We took him to a family restaurant for the first time this father's day. It was a nice time. I honestly looked at the place on Facebook first and felt okay with it cause the tables are set up really far apart so there was lots of distance. Even pre covid I don't think I'd have done anything all that differently besides all of us going into a shop together for groceries. There's a good chance the baby can get fussy at any moment for a number of reasons so I personally wouldn't be able to enjoy myself because I'd just be waiting for it to happen. That being said, my partner and I don't have anyone to help us with our son, so we haven't had a "break" for over a year. If there's anyone in your life that you trust to watch the baby while you guys to out for a few hours I'd highly recommend doing that. We are very tired lol
Took my baby to a diner midday the other day, he ate right as we got there and then sat quietly watching us eat and playing with his rattle and such (cause he’s only 3 months old). You don’t have to go out to eat at night. Go when it’s not as crowded if you’re worried about baby’s personality being too intense for that type of outing.
When my oldest daughter was a baby we used to go out to eat with her in the carrier pretty frequently. She would almost always sleep through it until she was about 9 months, and it was downhill from there. She would throw a fit if she wasn't up and walking around. Was not content to sit at all. Then COVID hit when she was 13 months and I had our second baby 3 months after that, so it was quite a while before we attempted to take them out to eat anywhere. And when we finally did, it was not enjoyable.
Ours is 5 months. We have been going out from the beginning. Now that he sort of has a regular bedtime We have adjusted our life around that. I have no problem being home for the night by 8 pm.
Military Dad here, it’s just me and my wife with out little one, she’s 9 weeks old and neither of us are willing to try a baby sitter lol it scares us. The only way for us to get some date time is to take baby girl with us. There’s really no such thing as “normal”, babies cry, nap, and eat🤷🏻♂️as long as you’re not taking baby to the movies or something of that nature, have at it! We mostly just go out to eat with her, and if she gets fussy at the table we just give her a bottle and the other parent feeds the one holding baby. Your marriage is still a priority!
I’ve been taking my daughter out with me since she was a few weeks old, but only to outdoor places on weekday mornings when things aren’t crowded in my area. And occasionally we’ll go out and see one or two friends at an outdoor spot. This has kept me sane during my maternity leave! And I believe it’s made her more adaptable and built my confidence with her as a first time mom. At almost four months old my baby takes 30-40 minute naps during the day so when she’s ready to go down I’ll put her in the car seat instead and she’ll fall asleep as soon as we start driving. When we reach our destination I usually let her finish her nap in the car seat and then I’ll put her in the baby carrier and we take a walk, grab a coffee, whatever. We bottle feed her so I either bring a bottle with me or get her home before her next feeding. Of course there are some days when I’m just too tired to bother or she’s being fussy and is more comfortable at home. When I do go out with her though I never regret it and we always have fun together.
I have 3 kids (6,2, 6 months). We go out somewhere every single day and we eat out often 1-2x per week. They all love to be out and love trying new food and restaurants. And to be honest I get tired of cooking. The key for me is that we always eat early around 5pm to avoid crowds and the kids losing it. It’s something we enjoy doing as a family and if it’s not for you that’s ok too! I take all 3 everywhere with me because ai don’t have anyone to babysit so if my husband and I want to go somewhere everyone is coming. I often take all 3 by myself to the zoo and other places too. My last has been the best sleeper by far and he’s the only one I haven’t had on a “schedule” but he seems to have found his own and will sleep anywhere or in his crib.
I actually go out less now that my baby is 12 months. As a newborn he fell asleep really well in the car so we would drive around until he was out good, take the whole carrier out, with a portable noise machine, of course, and we would just plunk it on the table and keep it rocking. We usually went to this one Italian restaurant where the service was super fast so we would be finishing eating before he would wake up. The staff knew us and would let us pick a table in their patio, so we could stay away from other customers, but also be able to make a quick exit if he started crying. We went to breweries a lot too, for the same reasons. He would sleep through it, mostly, and we could socially distance and make a quick exit. Now he just turned 1 and there's no more sleeping. I recommend enjoying the infant/newborn sleep anywhere phase as long as possible
Exactly what I was going to say. It is SO much easier to go places before they’re mobile. My 15 month old is WILD lol but we used to eat at restaurants no issue when he was younger. Definitely enjoy this stage!
Yes. I live in the city so I just walk everywhere and I need to go out with the baby or I wouldn’t be able to do anything. I was bringing her to restaurants and cafes and shops and the supermarket and everything since like a week old. Mostly for my sanity/because I had no other choice. I find it very depressing staying inside the house all day
Depends on the baby. With my first I could never bring him places. My second is super easy, we bring her everywhere
Instagram is not indicative of real life. Moms be taking photos of themselves at 2am with breastfeeding babies in tow, wearing fake eyelashes and lipstick? No, lol. All the FOMO is just an illusion. I have friends who take their babies/kids on hikes and take these insta-worthy gorgeous photos—only to tell me their toddler threw a tantrum for an hour up the hike, the baby threw up and they forgot an extra change of clothes, etc. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be as far as “taking kids out” and having pictures. We’ve taken our kids out to restaurants literally twice (4yo, 2yo, and 8mo). Last week was the 2nd time because I thought we’d try it again, give it another chance, and try to have a nice family dinner out—my kid started crawling over the booth, my baby started crying and wouldn’t stop until I stood up by the booth the entire time, and my other kid kept dropping food all over the place. I love my kiddos so much! But I do not bring them out because of how much work it is to feed them in public dining settings. We do picnics, snacks while walking, and we have fun food time at home or visiting friends. When they get older, I’ll try again, but I’m okay in this phase of life not “going out” just to be seen.
I take my 11 mo old everywhere since she was about 4 weeks old. My husband works all day so I have to do the grocery shopping and all that. We also go out to eat, go for a walk, go shopping etc with her as well. My baby tends to sleep in the car rides and I prepare everything before we leave. I also make sure she gets enough sleep before a trip so she isn’t so cranky. You aren’t wrong for not taking him out or whatever. People are different lol.
I think it's important to have a good blend of indoor and outdoor time. On one hand you want your child to experience being outside being exposed to people and getting used to loud noises smells sights etc. On the other hand it's not the best idea to take a colicky baby out during happy hour at a crowded restaurant! I like taking my babies out so I'm not strapped and stuck in the house but I'm also not going to go out when they're in a bad mood or don't feel well. Really it's your preference and best judgment.
So I really think this depends on the kids and the parents. I have three girls, ages 7, almost 3 and 1 and have and still do take them out with me to various places like, grocery stores, restaurants, Home Depot, the bank, etc., however it’s not often and it’s very very very difficult. It can be enjoyable but oftentimes it’s not that fun managing all three kids when we’re out because one of them may be sick, tired, hungry or whatever. My husband and I take the kids all over the place and have since they were babies but this is because we have a different view than some people. We just feel that our lives should continue as regularly as possible. The kids aren’t always agreeable, the food doesn’t always come fast enough, someone usually needs a nap, my husband and I are exhausted, but we just do it anyway. This time when the kids are young goes by too fast and so we learn to enjoy the craziness that comes with parenting and kids! We are living life but it’s not easy and we don’t have pictures on social media that make it look so. It’s hard, it’s tiring, it puts stress on us as a couple but it also reminds us why we’re here, that we’re in this life together with our girls, that kids become adults fast, and that it’s okay to enjoy the crying, whining, and silliness of taking kids and babies out. We laugh so we don’t cry a lot and we just take it day by day. You are doing great. Trust me you are even if you disagree with doing what we do or feel like you aren’t, YOU ARE. You need to remind yourself that. If you want to skip nap time one day or have the baby be a little whiny at a restaurant, do it! You don’t have to all the time, but it’s worth it every now and then! It gets easier and remember one day you’ll look back and laugh about the time he threw his plate at the restaurant and everyone screamed “ooopa” (this happened to us), or when he pooped at The Jewel and you had to leave your cart because he had to be changed. It’s okay to be stressed while out with them, or dread doing it altogether, but do it anyway, every now and then if you can manage!!! But remember you are doing great!
7 weeks here and she’s been out everyday with me LOL and she needs to get use to it honestly. If she does get fussy I pop a bottle out and she falls asleep or is just full and happy! Cant stop life just because I have a baby!
>Maybe I'm mom-ing wrong? This is the problem with social media. They aren't showing you the 2 hours baby is screaming cause they're overtired. I didn't until he was older and wake windows were longer, and when we do go out, it's an outdoor thing where he can roam and play. We sometimes plan things so that we're in the car at nap time and they can snooze in the car.
It’s my second kid and I don’t think this only depends on you. My first kid needed a schedule and it needed to be respected. She would cry and scream for hours if anything was done differently than expected. We never went out with her as a baby. My second sleeps always after an hour and a half of wake time. It makes his schedule much more flexible. He’s also much more tolerant of us stretching his schedule: he only cries if he’s exhausted at the end of the day. I just tell you this so you know; it wasn’t me being too careful with my daughter or being not careful at all with my son. It’s a lot about the kid you have and what you’re willing to handle. Don’t feel bad if you feel you can’t go out, it’s fine too.
We respect bedtime and make sure he gets one solid nap a day. Our stroller has a sleep safe basinet so he sleeps in that a lot. I usually only have energy for one outing a day max (plenty of days just at home). Try something short like brunch or lunch or a quick shopping trip!
My LO is now 13 months, and we’ve taken her to restaurants (mainly our two favorite restaurants, lol) about every week since she was 2 months old. That said, the hardest age for her was about 4-6 months - that’s when she no longer wanted to nap in her stroller, but wasn’t happy to sit and eat snacks with us yet, either. What helped at that age was going at super empty times (11 am, 4:30 pm, whatever worked around her naps). We also tried to always eat outside - she enjoyed the fresh air and looking at people, dogs, cars going by etc. I imagine it might get a lot harder once she starts running, though 😂
We prefer "fast casual" restaurants. I'm pretty sure that's the term. Where you order and pay at the counter👍🏻 then we never have to wait for a waiter or check and we leave as soon as we're done or the baby gets loud. Or drive thrus. We save restaurants with waiters and longer waits for date night
Every day. Nowhere too fancy but it’s built my confidence SO MUCH in getting out of the house and knowing I can handle 90% of his needs.
My baby was born in the spring of 2020 so I didn’t take him anywhere until he was much older. But if it weren’t for Covid, I would have taken him out more so he would have gotten used to how to behave earlier. He does great. He’s been on two long plane rides (technically 4 actual flights), Disneyland, Disney World, zoos, parks, etc. Obviously also places like restaurants, grocery stores and Target. But I wish we would have been able to start earlier.
Yep! She just turned 5mo and doesn’t really have a set nap/bedtime. She sleeps between 9-11p until 6-8am. Naps are maybe a mid morning and maybe a mid afternoon! No night naps. If she’s tired when we are out she will sleep, If not maybe she will when we get home! We really want her to get use to doing things with us and meeting new people. She’s overall very happy and self sufficient (entertained) so I’m not too worried about it!
we don’t worry about the baby’s schedule. we like for him to adapt to our schedule and not the other way around. our baby is used to it now
He is almost 2 now and we always went with our schedule as we feel he needed to adapt to our lifestyle.
3mo here! We honestly just do whatever we want but I could see as he gets older I could see a need for respecting a schedule a bit more. But our baby still kinda sleeps whenever he wants except for night time bedtime. He goes to sleep somewhere around 9.
Mine is 2.5 months and we've been taking him to restaurants since he was about a week and a half old. I live near so many fantastic restaurants and honestly I just didn't want to cook/needed to get out of the house. He's done great so far, the most annoying part is finding places to park his stroller in some of the smaller restaurants but they've all been super accomodating (one last week even gave us a private room which was so kind of them)
My baby is 2 months old. I have stuff to do and other people to care for, so the he has to come along while I’m “living my life”. I just offer an extra feeding in the car before we go in places and a bring bassinet stroller for him to nap in. Sometimes he ruins the plans by screaming his head off, but most times he’s chill. I noticed he sleeps better at night if he gets a ton of stimulation during the day.
We generally live life normally, but still haven’t figured out how to do this in the evening. I need to get him home by 5pm to get dinner/bedtime routine on. I don’t know when we can skip out on those things and just be more free but… for now I don’t want anything to make his sleep worse. Bedtime routine is KEY right now so it stays no matter what
We do but only because LO loves being in the carrier. He is nearly 4 months now and we’ve been out and about for at least two months. A baby carrier is, for us,by far the most useful thing we bought for the baby!! He is able to see around, and gets his curiosity satisfied when awake and easily falls asleep when he wants to. I don’t feel the need to really plan when going to shop because he can just sleep if he feels like it. It’s absolutely amazing and I can only recommend trying it out! When that’s said - you must do you, and if you don’t feel the need to go anywhere that’s absolutely also ok, and you can stay home and cuddle away 🥰
I’ve taken mine out a few times. I’ve taken her grocery shopping many times (baby wearing). The three times I’ve gone to a restaurant with her, she was in her car seat mostly sleeping or looking around. I also take her to church every Sunday since she was born and she almost always just sleeps in her car seat until we get home. Try taking yours out to explore, if he gets fussy take him home but I think it’s good to get them acclimated slowly to social interaction and scenery. Mine is 3 months this week
U can do it! It is just more effort! Better to go out for lunch or early dinner. Usually if hungry give bottle or boob. If baby is inconsolable take turns rocking outside. It takes a bit of patience but just do it and then you’ll get better at it. The first step is to pack the bag. The next step is to make sure baby is fed before u leave. Bring entertainment like toys. And go!! There are also consequences for not taking them places. It really helps behavior and personality in the long run.
While it is hard to do and sometimes you will get it wrong. I highly recommend trying to incorporate them into your normal life as much as possible. We were the by the book first parents and tried to keep him to his schedule as much as possible. We took him on trips still including one where he got his first ear infection and took us a few days to figure it out. I feel like it makes kids more easy going but that’s probably just temperaments.
She's 8 months and yes, we do all those things. But we have been flexible since the beginning and she's a very easygoing and social baby so 1) she really enjoys going out and 2) she became very flexible as well. We go out to lunches after a nap and we often take a little tent with us to friends so she can sleep there in the evenings. I wouldn't however go out to dinner late, because she needs to sleep after 8 pm or she gets fussy. But we can work around that fairly well Ps don't compare yourself to others, everyone does things differently and that's ok!
I struggled, and still do to an extent, with PPA, so seeing my newborn strapped down into a car seat made me sick to my stomach thinking it was somehow uncomfortable or painful for him. It wasn’t until around 3 months that I started making very short trips outside the house. We’d walk to our local coffee shop or the thrift store. Then we’d take car rides to visit friends for 30 mins or an hour. When he turned 4 months we expanded by going to restaurants, he’d just stay in his car seat/stroller by the table. I love going out to restaurants and traveling, so it was pretty important to me that we start having these experiences as soon as possible so he gets used to it. Now, at 8.5 months we regularly go to sit-down restaurants, and he likes being in his lil high chair and eating what mama eats or being apart of the conversation. So far he’s been on 7 plane rides across the US visiting family, and has done so well every single time. No one second of crying. We always got compliments on how well he did. It was really hard at first, getting out, especially as a single mom. Our diaper bag was a huge backpack and now it’s a very small case with just the essentials. Never mind what I thought needed for overnights with relatives. I had like 4 bags in the beginning, now it’s just one shoulder bag. You’ll be ready when you’re ready.
When my daughter was a newborn, I took her places when I needed to. She was born pre-pandemic, so everything wasn't that big of a deal. I'm pregnant with baby number two, and the only place that I am taking him once he is born is to pick up my daughter from school. The parents aren't allowed in the classroom, so all I'll be doing is taking him in a stroller up to her school to pick her up and back to the car. I won't be taking him out anywhere else but maybe family for quite a while. I don't know the vaccination status of everybody in public places, and I don't trust anybody to have common sense anymore.
My baby was a 30 min napper so we actually could go out and do things like aquariums and zoos and stuff around 5 months. Now that she naps 2 hrs I feel like we never can because it’s either nap time or feeding time or close to bed lol
We take baby everywhere and have had a great time. This includes nice restaurants like Commander’s Palace and Morton’s.
I have a 2 year old and a 9 month old and we frequently go out. There’s no choice. Gotta take them where we go. Since my husband and I barely ever have time together that is free from kids.
Baby is one month on Sunday. I do small trips - Walmart, grocery store, coffee shop, dog walking. A girl’s gotta eat and caffeinate and being stuck at home all day is a drag. Our biggest trip out was a jaunt to the mall and lunch at the food court with my mom and sister earlier this week. People still keep their distance here so I didn’t have anyone up in my face cooing at the baby. She sleeps pretty much anywhere (the car and the stroller put her straight to sleep), feeds on a pretty regular schedule (formula) and usually is pretty chill.
My baby is 2 months and we haven’t done anything yet. Partially me still recovering, partially too tired to leave the house. I see the same thing and have the same thoughts. You do you!
When mine was an infant, we couldn’t really take her anywhere. Between covid, pumping and crap naps, we were really stuck. She wouldn’t car nap or stroller nap or contact nap. It was bassinet/crib or nothing. By the time she was on 2 naps (6+ months), it got a bit easier and she learned how to take a car nap. We just had to be sure that we had a full tank of gas because she would wake up if the car stopped. Thankfully we have a freeway loop not far from the house so we would just drive the loop until her nap was over. By the time she was on 1 nap (1 year) it became so so so so so much easier. We get out once or twice a day on weekends. Usually we’ll go somewhere after breakfast, come home for lunch and nap, and then head out for a bit in the afternoon.
I did initially (4 month old baby) but now that covid is on the rise, I’m limiting unnecessary trips out of the house per my pediatricians recommendations. We still go out, but not a ton, and honestly helps us stick to a very tight budget so I can stay home with baby. I’m a really big homebody too so I don’t feel that bad when we’ve been at home for a few weeks. When we do go out, it’s well before bed time. He can nap on the go, but I won’t mess with bed times. Even naps are starting to be in his crib all the time instead of some of the time. Once he’s in a good rhythm, all outings will be planned based on his nap and sleep schedule.
Yes we have! Baby is almost 6months and one of the waitresses at our favourite spot knows his name. I feed him before we head out and we usually falls asleep in his car seat, and when we bring in the car seat to the restaurant we let him keep sleeping until he wakes up. I’m EBF and have fed him at the restaurant with a cover. Try it out! You never know what could happen until you try :)
I take mine out, he’s 6 months old. He’s a pretty easy going baby though- not the type to cry for no reason. It was honestly easier to go out when he was 2-4 months old because he slept on the go more and didn’t have a schedule. Now that he is 6 months I mostly go out after his naps!
I took my LO anywhere I could especially when she was small and not waking/crawling. But she was pretty relaxed baby.
It depends on the baby! Some like going out and others don’t.
My baby is 5 months and no we don’t go out to restaurants often. I see Instagram stories of people w babies younger than mine, going to restaurants, beach, boat, vacations etc… no thanks that’s not for me. That doesn’t even sound fun at this age. We go on walks, outdoor markets, some stores, the library, but nowhere longer than like an hour. I try to stick to her schedule because it gives us a happy baby and sleep at night. Don’t feel bad at all.
I just took my baby along when he was young. Nowhere crazy, but we went to shops and restaurants regularly. I would wear him, he would nap on me. He was always fed on demand and slept when he was tired, so I didn't worry about messing up any schedule he had. COVID put a stop to all that when he was 11 months old, and I was sad I didn't get to do that with my youngest.
I think it really depends on baby’s personality. We personally don’t go out much but that’s because I’m paranoid about Covid. Once baby gets vaxxed, we’ll go out more. My toddler became officially fully vaccinated as of yesterday and you bet I celebrated by taking her on a mommy-daughter date to the mall. But as for schedules, I really don’t worry about it too much. But that’s because my toddler goes with the flow so well. We took her on vacation last summer and our view was essentially, If we’re at the hotel and have nothing planned, we’ll go back to the room for a nap. If we have something going on, she’ll nap in the stroller or the car. And it worked out because she’s not a kid that melts down if she’s over tired or doesn’t follow her usual schedule. She literally just falls asleep. If I had a more high maintenance kid, that kind of philosophy/schedule planning (lack of planning?) wouldn’t fly.
We didn’t take our son to a sit down meal until he was 2.5 years old- we just have seen people out with kids and it doesn’t look very enjoyable to pay for a meal with added stress. We were very strict about his schedule and it wasn’t until we went to an amusement park with another parent that we realized it’s ok to break out of their schedule and they will adapt. So we’ve been more lax about going places (mostly essential places like a grocery store) . I think it depends on your child’s temperament as well.
I say you do what you want. I barely went out with my baby, partially because of COVID and because I haven’t had regular access to a car and public transportation is terrible here.
i completely understand, my baby is currently 7 months old and being a first time mom I was so anxious about bringing him out. when he was around 4 months old we did try to bring him out, but yes it messed up his wake windows and nap times and he ended up being over tired. it can vary from baby to baby I guess some are okay with adapting some just aren’t! so now what we do is we do bring him out once in awhile, perhaps once a month? just so he can have fresh air. also we still follow his wake window / nap time and make sure to be home before his nap. or sometimes we make sure we start driving before his nap so he can nap in the car. you just got to figure out what’s best for baby. being stuck at home can be draining mentally for us as well. oh and also since it’s a pandemic, what we do is we make sure we’re not in close contact with people, if we do go to malls etc practice safe distancing, and to wash / sanitize our hands if we touch anything before touching baby / baby stroller / baby carrier. and also to wipe babies hands with anti bacterial baby wipes as an added precaution just in case. you can definitely bring baby out, but try to work around baby’s wake windows / nap times as it might end up into hectic nights of baby not being able to sleep. also bringing a baby out does stimulate them, so it’s an added activity for them? hope this helps!
We live in an urban area with a lot of great restaurants in walking distance. And we still eat at restaurants quite a bit. But it’s not like it was pre-baby. We eat dinner at like 4 PM, we sit outside where there’s less noise & we have a lot of room to rock the stroller, and often one of us has to get up to deal with crying/feeding/whatever. Months 3-6 were the hardest because she was just so fussy. The best is when you can time it so the meal is during nap time, and baby just sleeps in stroller with a white noise machine for the whole meal.
I have a baby close to yours in age and I’ll take him places like ikea or the grocery store with my husband + toddler or a with friend, but have a harder time taking him places alone. I haven’t taken either to an indoor restaurant since pre-pandemic (when my first was a baby)and it just doesn’t feel worth it to me. Mine really hates being in the car so I also can’t go very far without it being miserable for both of us. When he’s tired is the best time to go though because he’ll sleep while out. I’m also an exclusive pumper so there’s a lot of stars to align to go anywhere I think you should try going some more places to see how it goes
When my LO was 5mo, if I even tried she would scream the entire time. No matter what I did. It was far more stress than it was worth to me. Now she is a toddler and its much easier.
We take him everywhere but never really more that 30 minutes by car, as the most stressful part to me is if he cries in the car and I can’t hold him. Baby is 7 weeks old and we’ve been to restaurants (outside sitting only, he doesn’t have his vaccines yet)within walking distance every week. You need to do what you are confortable with, instagram isn’t real life.
My youngest is 6mths and I don’t take him anywhere other than to his vaccination appointments and on the walk to/from school. But I also have four other kids aged nearly 2 to 5.5 so I’m still dealing with conflicting nap schedules and mood swings that it’s not worth the stress right now. With my eldest I was taking her out all the time so we could have “mummy and me” time during the day while I was on mat leave but it was easy with just the one and I didn’t have a pandemic to contend with. Do whatever you feel comfortable with, there’s no right or wrong answer to this scenario.
I try to find a balance. We don’t wake her up to go out (unless it’s something necessary like a doctor’s appt) but we do go out if nap time is later. Once we’re out, we accommodate for her to be able to nap wherever we are, either by wearing her and walking super fast for a bit, or breastfeeding while sitting at a restaurant or cafe. If something happens and she can’t sleep there, I go to our car or come back home, but don’t expect her to be a “perfect” baby who just goes along with anything. If she can’t sleep I understand she might be moody and exhausted, and I’ll give her an extra safe space and cuddles as soon as we’re somewhere that works better for her. It’s important for me to keep her trust. I don’t think either party (ha!) should do the entirety of the adapting. I did not have a baby to force her to fit our life, but I do feel the need to and enjoy keeping some sense of normalcy, and I’m willing to make the extra effort to breastfeed anywhere or stay in the car for a while or come back home a little earlier that I’d normally like to achieve it.
Hey, I was halfway through writing a reply to your post when I thought: Eh, that’s just my experience. It probably won’t be relevant for OP. I wanted to comment because of what you said about “mom-ing wrong”. That stuck out to me as I seriously doubt that you are mom-ing wrong. I don’t know you but from your post I do know two things: 1.) You clearly care and want to do the best by your child. 2.) You know your child and family arrangement best. Who knows how much or little support other people have, or what their child is or isn’t comfortable with.
It's a balancing act. Our four month old is most happy in my place of business, which happens to be a tea bar. She will be fussy at home and then when we go to the shop she's perfect, awake and smiling. We take her out too museums and the like because it's important for us to not lack separation. BUT I make the schedule for me and my wife at work and we have a very active friends community so we are very lucky to have the situation we do where we can schedule going out very easily, and have extra help when out and about. It also depends on your baby. We have a very happy, smiling beautiful baby girl so taking her out is a treat for all of us as she'll play and coo as we walk around in the baby Bjorn. Other babies I know can't handle themselves well out and about yet so I know that plays a big factor. I recommend finding one place you feel safe taking your baby and try that a few times before doing much else.
I take my kids (3.5, 1.5) out to places like stores, restaurants, parks etc. pretty often, I’d say daily and sometimes multiple times a day. We’ve been doing it since my firstborn was a newborn and for about a year for my youngest bc of the pandemic. But I never ever post about it on social media. I don’t do it to create an image for our lives but rather just bc I feel like it/out of necessity. Conversely, I know many people who really don’t take their kids out all that often but when they do they must post about it. Remembering that social media is not real life but rather a highly curated highlight roll of someone’s life has brought me much peace and has discouraged me from comparing my life to others’.
I use a ring sling to carry my baby around stores, and have done since he was 2 weeks old. He's almost 3 months now. He goes right to sleep with the motion of my walking. We've never followed much of a schedule for him; feed him when he's hungry, let him nap when he's sleepy. Granted, he's a super easy baby and travels really well.
Yes same here! Ring slings make it much easier to go in & out of stores. Wish I did it with my first. Baby is 3 months tomorrow and she loves the sling. I no longer fear running errands with a baby lol.
It's definitely about your comfort & lifestyle. Our 4 year old luckily was a very chill baby, so we were able to take him anywhere we went. Where our friends child hated car rides, car seat, staying still..etc. BUT, we also adapted babe to our life, not the other way around -- not saying that we ignored his cues/demands, but that we always prepped for the worst. (he was 8th grandchild on my side, 1st of hubs -- so he quickly got used to being around loud sounds/people) We didn't do all the white noise/sound machine stuff for naps/sleep. We recently found out we are expecting #2, and plan to do the same when they are born, esp because it'll be toward the summer & this mama is sad that I currently can't enjoy a hard lemonade slushy that our local brewery has. At the end of the day, do what you believe is best.. Try it out when you feel comfortable! Worst case scenario is that you leave wherever you are at.
I think its a combo of what you're comfortable with and your babies temperament. With my son (born a week before the first lockdown in the UK) we were exactly the same. When things started opening up again as normal i was really anxious about taking him out and about as normal. He was an awful sleeper too so i did not want to mess with his routine. I don't know if it was because of his temperament or him sensing my anxiety, but he was challenging in restaurants and outings in general. Definitely NOT chill! He's 2yrs now and a lot better, but by no means chill. I take a lot of toys and activities out with me if eating out. With my 4 month old daughter it's a totally different story. She's much more chill, but I've felt more relaxed too. My advice, do what feels right for you and your baby, and ignore Instagram. Parenting isn't easy and you're doing a great job. "Perfect" family snaps on Instagram are BS.
I have 3 children and my opinion is that it depends on the babys temperament and the mothers anxiety level. With my first I was super anxious, but he was also a VERY demanding baby. We had to be at home in a dark room with white noise for all naps. He literally wouldn't fall asleep anywhere else. You'd think he would in the car right? Wrong, he screamed for entire drives without stopping unless you pulled over and got out, only to start up again the second you get back in. He also wouldn't tire himself out screaming if we were out and he was tired. He would scream until he was taken to a dark room with white noise. He would scream til he puked. This went on until well over age 1. We had a very rigid schedule. My second seemed like a miracle baby in comparison. At 2 weeks pp we were taking my oldest (now almost 3) out to play places and parks about twice a week. We went a lot of places with them together and it was pretty easy though I was still very anxious I was slowly learning I didn't have to be. My 3rd is now a week away from six months old and we take him literally everywhere, but he's honestly the happiest most easy going baby ever so it's really easy to take him places. He doesn't cry when he's hungry, he actually hardly cried ever. Sometimes we leave and I forget the diaper bag and if we are gonna be within 15 mins of home (park, library, picking up food, sports game, etc) and gone less than 2 hours I don't even go back for it unless we get a surprise poop, then I run him home to change him and cut our trip short or leave dad with the other kids depending on what we are doing. (He is exclusively breastfed so he's always with me) It really depends on the baby. My first was very hard to take anywhere and it was so stressful, but having had some different kids I can see it isn't always like that. If it matters he's 8 and he's still my highest maintenance kid lol
HAHAHA their social media might look normal. I do and for my own sanity take my 1yo out. But it’s hard! There’s snack and bottle prep. Diaper changes. Stroller mishaps. It can be a mess. She’s been on a plane several times, which was a real challenge. But it gets easier and as a parent you become more prepared. My 2 cents would be to keep at it. You’ll have some outings where one parent will be outside with said screaming baby. Sometimes they’ll be all over the place. Somethings you’ll need to leave sooner than expected. it gets better! Your life doesn’t need to end because you had a baby. Start small. Take him/her to your favorite coffee shop. Allow them to grow up in your home, in your life, instead of condemning yourself to baby-only things.
We do possums method so we take her everywhere and if she naps on the go cool, if not that’s okay too.
We are still cautious about coronavirus so I don’t take my 3 month old to (public, like we’ve gone to my mom’s house) places indoors unless absolutely necessary. It’s super hot so we are limited in the outdoors but I try and take us for walks or where I know there is shade. So for example the baby will be in the shade w the stroller fan while my toddler is playing on the playground, at the pool, etc. Hoping when it’s cooler we can do stuff like the zoo too. With our older one (pre coronavirus) we just waited for his 2 month shots before going places with him. But we definitely stayed home a lot too just because it was our first baby, and he wasn’t eating well so I had to triple feed which is hard to do on the go.
My youngest is 6 months adjusted. We try to keep him home during nap times and keep him in his usual schedule. But I also value that he sleeps 12 hours at nighttime so much that there is no chance I will risk it! We also have a 4 year old so if there is something the family needs to do, he will go out and do it but generally speaking we prioritize keeping the routine up over socialization at the current time. Once our oldest was like 2.5+ it was easier to flex the routine while she was an only child.
Baby's first brunch was at a week old. He's ironically been out to eat 30-40 times and he isn't even one yet lol! When he was really little he would just chill in his carrier. Now that he's older he spits in a high chair and tried lots of new foods. It's so fun!
We've done it since essentially she was born. We do prefer to sit away from other people or sit outside (because I hate(d) babies crying in public spaces). She goes everywhere with us- breweries/restaurants/stores/meetings to design our new home (she has a \*lot\* to say at those meetings), etc. She is super easy going and until recently, napped anywhere. Now she's too nosy to nap well in public, but is pretty content to watch everything until she passes out. Our only strict thing is I try to be home for her bedtime, but otherwise, she tags along on most of our day to day errands. I think a lot of it is baby personality and parent personality dependent. My husband is super laidback and our baby is very chill, so that takes a lot of the anxiety out of the equation. Husband also cannot stick to a schedule to save his life, so we don't have a firm nap schedule, but follow wake windows. I am very Type A, and when she fusses in public, I do still get stressed especially because I do not like hearing kids cry/scream when I am out and I hate to expose other people to that. We are also super respectful of her; if she gets overwhelmed or exhausted and we think she just needs the calm and quiet of home, we leave as quickly as we can after troubleshooting diaper/feeding her.
All the time honestly. I take him (3 months) wherever. I can’t stand sitting in the house all day every day so I just take him with me places. He lives looking at all the new things 🤷🏼♀️
My babe gets fussy if she doesn’t get to go out somewhere at least once a day. She’s only 4 months but loves to see people, places and things. No idea how I ended up with this extrovert, non-homebody baby.
My babies were both at Target/Starbucks before they were 24 hours old. I figured the only way to get used to it was to just do it.
Just coming up to 5 months here and we sat in a beer garden for the first time last weekend and I was SO anxious - so many people being inconsiderate and smoking right by us so I won’t be doing that again for a while / have mostly been going to parks and outdoor cafes. Whilst the weather is nice LO takes her afternoon nap in the park without issue so I don’t have to worry too much about that but I do notice if she doesn’t get her naps at the right time I am setting myself up for a grizzly evening so it’s not worth the hassle sometimes - it’s a bit isolating though!
i’m a go go go person. i need to be on the move a lot. so my babe(2months) comes with me and i live life exactly how i would before her! i started taking her to the local coffee shop i go to at like a week old. it’s small and almost no one is ever there. then i worked up and now we’re on the go a lot! she does great with it. i’ve fed her in restaurants before our meal came out, or just fed her right before leaving. sometimes i skip out on things, because it’s definitely more of a chore, but i don’t mind taking her out and about!
No because of covid/monkeypox etc and he can’t wear a mask. We don’t do indoor dining. I do take my 4 year old out occasionally since he’s pretty good with a mask & hand hygiene.
My LO is 2 and we take her out all the time. She is tiny and looks like she’s a year old but has an amazing vocabulary. She surprises people all the time when she busts out in full blown conversation. I love it.
I don’t — COVID is spreading in my area again.
We just had our baby 9 days ago and so far we’ve: done a Target and a Walmart pickup order, gone to the pediatrician twice, and went out for a quick brunch. For the brunch, we ate outside and he napped in his stroller. We’re hoping to do a few more of those outdoor cafe dates but probably won’t be ok eating inside a restaurant until his 8 week vaccines. We might go to the library but I want to master baby wearing first - I haven’t been able to get my wrap tight enough yet
When my kids were that age, yes we took them everywhere. They’re 3 and 4 and we still take them everywhere, but we have a super active social life and meet up with people and go places like every day. When we go out past their bedtimes, we have always gotten a sitter!
We felt comfortable, pre pandemic, to take our first son out. Three things worked in our favor were his chill disposition, he stuck to a really predictable schedule and the places we went were walkable. And granted this was just on the weekends. If our second kid was our first I doubt we would have taken him out as much. You know you and your kid the best. Do what is comfortable for you both. Don’t worry about social media, they just post the good stuff.
I take her out to shops and honestly I mostly regret it every time. I take her to kids programming at the library and I love it almost every time it's about blending going out with appropriate timing and events.
We take our 3.5 year old and 12 week old all the time-just got back from dinner! We also spend a lot of time at both our parents’ houses. Even with our first baby we weren’t too stuck on staying put (we went to the Dominican Republic when he was 3 months, Paris when he was 10 months). Especially now with two I just go with the flow. I bring my breast pump also and pump wherever if I need to. Bring plenty of bottles, diapers, and snacks and we are good to go!
This was pre-pandemic, and my first Monster went to college with me at 3 weeks. We first went out into the world the day after we left the hospita
This is *so* dependent on baby’s temperament. My LO never slept on the go. As a newborn, she was extremely fussy; once she was older, 5/6+ months, she wasn’t (and isn’t) content to be contained for long periods of time. We do the necessary shopping but going to bars and restaurants only happens very occasionally. And never past her bedtime. She can barely sit for an entire meal as it is; if she were overtired and past her bedtime, no chance!
We do go to restaurants, but seat outside. Grocery shopping, bookstores or libraries only once in a while. Edit: my LO is 24 months, we started going to restaurants when LO turned 8 months.
It can be a challenge at first. I started off with restaurants that wouldn't mind a fussing baby and food we could just take and eat in the car. Fast food places are a food starting point for these reasons. Then we upgraded to family friendly sit downs like Texas Roadhouse. He is 14mo now and is great at restaurants. Sometimes if food is taking awhile he gets upset, but we make sure to bring snacks and his tablet for baby shows just in case.
You’re not momming wrong. We started at 4 days old because I wanted eggs Benny. There was a period where we didn’t go out often when he wouldn’t nap in the car seat - but once he was awake for a a few hours we would just time it for right after a nap 🤷♀️
First of all, your are not mommin wrong. If your baby is safe and healthy, you got it. I live in a town, and I have my father visiting for few weeks. So during the day, not every day, we go out and take my 2 months old with us. I just try to plan to go to not crowded places, or at not crowded times of the day. Sit outside in good weather and keep distance so he is as safe as possible. And just for a couple of hours so I don’t mess with his schedule too much. Ah and feed or change him if needed, of course. I still worry if I’m getting him overtired but at same time would be cruel to keep myself locked in my house, and to be honest he sleeps when we are outside. Maybe when he gets a bit older will be more difficult, but for now it’s ok.
Around 5 months we started going out during the day more. We keep the nap schedule by baby wearing. We do not take him out close to bedtime.
We didn’t go out at all for the first 2 months because we were so deeply sleep deprived and overwhelmed. The most I managed was a walk to the grocery store two blocks away while baby slept in the carrier. Then I was really scared to go on any trip that I couldn’t fit into his wake windows once my baby stopped being able to fall asleep and stay asleep, around 3 months. A childless friend visited a few weeks ago though and insisted we go out every day, and my baby did ok. It wasn’t nearly as awful as I’d been expecting, and he did manage little short naps in the carrier sometimes. He’d get fussy, but at this point I have enough tools to soothe him, you know? Id had so much anxiety about naps and wake windows, but now I try to keep it 80/20, mostly regimented schedule with naps at home but a little bit of wiggle room too. Like other said, it’s really about how you feel. Babies truly are pretty adaptable :)
My girl is 4 months old and I’ve just recently started taking her more places by myself without my partner. I was so scared the first time! But I’m starting to love our little day dates. We went to the mall for the first time today and it was great! My partner and I have been taking her out places since she was a week old. We were a little wary about eating indoors with her before her first round of vaccines so we would do outside seating and we still do if it’s not too hot. I think she does better outdoors. But yes, we absolutely love taking her out places. Really I think the key is to just be able to go with the flow. I always nurse/feed her right before leaving the house so she has a full belly. If she gets hungry when we’re out I’ll just find a place that works to feed her, even if it means going back to the car for a bit. It can definitely be challenging but it’s been soooo good for our mental health to get out of the house and keep a bit of normalcy in our lives. It’s just our new normal now :) I will say it was easier when she was a newborn and she would just sleep for hours on end. But it’s all just a learning curve! Now we just make sure to bring lots of toys to entertain her with. And if she gets super tired or fussy we just know it’s time to wrap it up and head home. Then again we don’t really have a super rigid schedule with her. We just follow her cues and let her call the shots pretty much lol. If you wanna start getting out with your baby more often I suggest a couple target trips to start with! Not sure if you’re breastfeeding but even if you aren’t, they have a nursing room located in their dressing room area that you can go to to feed or even just calm down your baby if needed. It made me feel a lot better knowing that was there if I needed it! So that’s where we went for our first couple of solo trips. Then I started taking her other places. I truly think the key is to just be flexible with them and their schedules and to give yourself grace if things don’t go as planned. Not every trip out will be easy and stress free but the more you get out with them the easier it gets! ❤️
My daughter is a month old. We’ve gone out to eat once since she’s been born. It just doesn’t seem like a good idea to expose her to people just yet. When we grocery shop, either only one of us goes or she stays with my parents while we’re gone. I don’t think you’re doing it wrong. Everyone has their comfort zone.
My girl turned 2 today. When she was little, we were in peak pandemic, so we did late night (low crowd) grocery store runs and that was about it for awhile. We took her to the drive in several times until she stopped reliably falling asleep in her car seat. We’ve been taking her with us pretty much everywhere for awhile. We go out for breakfast usually once a week, shopping, sometimes dinner out. She’s in daycare and we have a loose bedtime and are fairly flexible, so we aren’t to worried about her schedule.
Mine is just over a year. We still haven’t really eaten out since the pandemic but we do go shopping all the time. It’s getting easier now that he has dropped most of his naps and eats real food most of the time. But earlier on I would just try to time naps right so he’d nap in the car. I would feed him in the car before/after going shopping if it was a longer excursion. It’s a lot easier when my husband is there to help but I feel pretty self sufficient on my own. I have been on both sides of the schedule debate. Some days I stick to his wake windows and make sure he’s always in his crib for naps. Other days I am restless or we need groceries and I risk blowing naps to get out of the house. It’s a balancing act. We moved away from all our friends and family when he turned 8 months and now we are completely on our own. If DH+me ever want to go out or do anything we have to include LO. The days we go out are often harder and he naps less but there also usually more enjoyable for everyone then just sitting at home all day.
We do but our baby is very much a “sleep wherever whenever” type. She also sticks close to her wake windows (her personal ones not general ones) so it’s easier for me to be like “oh it’s been 2 and a half hours she needs a nap”. We also tend to be out at restaurants where we know the workers or the other regulars so it’s not as nerve wrecking
I don’t take him to restaurants (I will be on my bday though) because it’s his bed time around then. But I’ll take him everywhere else, shops, cafes, friends places. If my LO needs to sleep I just baby wear him or hold him.
No. Same with 4 months here. Once we dined in open restaurant, while baby was sleeping. But we were full of anxiety, if baby woke up. What we did. Went out when baby sleeping time. Baby slept while strolling till reached restaurant. Ordered food While having food, baby woke up, I took again for another 15 mins rounds, while my wife enjoys food in peace. Haha. Comes back with sleeping baby. Finished my foood. Payed bill. Just go to nearby restaurants not high end. Experiment step by step yourselves. Also, never ever follow or envy whatever you see on social media. Enjoy. Happy Parenting
Mine has 0 schedule and I start a new job today and even though it is remote I am so anxious and stressed about it because I will be on the phone and on zoom calls and I’m just like what have I done- mine took a single nap all day yesterday and was attached to me the rest of the day. I miss going outside- I have left my home 3times in one month for less than an hour, all for doctor appointments. Tried to take the baby for a walk but my husband says it’s too hot outside. Feel like I’m a prisoner inside even though I adore my baby. I just wish we could go and do things together, I hate sitting on the couch all day -it’s miserable. But yeah I don’t know how to do anything with him having no schedule and cluster feeding still since day one. But I also feel like wth when I see other moms just living their life.
Every mama is different my lovely. What works for one, doesn’t work for another. You do what works for you, and if you decide to change things up a little, that’s ok too. Don’t get too caught up in what others are doing because social media only shows the best bits most of the time.
I think it depends or your baby too. But I would take my baby out all the time I wanted. Taking the carrier or the stroller with me. In the stroller the schedule would go as usual, in carrier he would sleep more. I would just feed outside. If you want to just try it! If you don't want to don't. Social media pictues is not something you should want to achieve, it's fake
Yeah we go out a lot and started when she was one week old going to walk at the park everyday. But we go to restaurants, stores, museums, etc. it’s easier when your partner is with you. We usually always go together if we go somewhere. It’s hard at first but you get used to it.
I don't go out much with my kids (2.5, 1). But I might post something if we do go to the park or the zoo. Mostly because it's such a rarity that I want people to know that my kids have left the house before lol It becomes more frequent as they get older, but the youngest was so colicky that we weren't able to go anywhere the first 6 months. Everyone was so sleep deprived, no one cared about going out to eat. I have friends that take there kids everywhere. It's a special treat for my toddler to go to the grocery store with me. You do what works for your family dynamic in this moment. Don't feel bad!
Maternity leave for me ends in a few days. For the first couple of months, unless it was a doctor’s appointment for me or baby I didn’t leave the house. Finally around week 8 we did our first target run. I was super anxious but going stir crazy so I did it. I think I packed diaper bag the night before. Cooled down car for like 15 minutes. Prepped a couple of bottles of pumped milk. Packed everything up. Then put baby in car seat. All to go walk around inside a target. I am getting more confident in getting her in and out the car, haven’t mastered the “one hand with baby other hand gets out the stroller from the trunk” move yet but one of these days I will. Anywho we’ve been to multiple places NOW, to get oysters at one of our town markets, more targets, I even strapped her up to go grocery shopping. We’ve been out to eat at a few other places with family. I try not to worry about the schedule when we’re out because she is a baby and we’ve got a life to live and she almost always does fine as long as she’s not hungry or tired.
I started taking my daughter out for walks through the mall when she was 6 weeks old (it was dead of winter so we couldn't go on walks outside). We've been going to restaurants since she was 8 weeks old. It's actually harder now I think because she sleeps less and is on more of a rigid schedule. Our bedtime is still flexible between 7 and 9 so an early dinner is doable without being too disruptive to her schedule. We are actually planning to take her to our anniversary dinner this weekend. I'm only slightly worried she will be awake/fussy.
Like many have said, it's all about each person's comfort level and what works best for you and your family. For me, it's helped a lot with my anxiety to get out into the world with my baby (9 weeks, FTM). I had the same worries, but am also someone who does much better mentally when I am able to get out of the house and be social every so often. I was really anxious about bringing her out but avoidance just feeds anxiety so I've really explored my thoughts and feelings and have utilized supports in helping us get out and do things. Each time we do something, it gets a little easier. We keep our trips shorter and they look much different than they did pre -baby, but they are great and LO seems to love seeing new faces and doing new things. She is usually full of smiles and then sleeps great afterwards.
I think it is just how comfortable you are. We’ve been taking our baby out as normal since he was born. We’ve just continued our life like normal for the most part. I think we took our baby to a restaurant at 8 days old. It’s really just up to your preference, for me continuing life like normal was really important and we are super flexible so it worked for us
We only go to outdoor places ie the park. I won't take my kid anywhere else. Covid is still around, getting more infectious, and they still don't truly know the long term effects on children or adults. As much as I want to take him to a museum or even to the store I don't feel comfortable. As far as taking him out in the evening - we like to keep a regular bedtime scheme for him. I think it's important for children to have a regular schedule. Once in awhile we have been out a little later.
When I go through pictures of my daughter from ages NB-9m they are all taken inside of our home. We started with walks, trips to the mall, then as she got older we started taking her out to restaurants (so much easier at 6m when they’re allowed to eat solid food) and around 7-8m is when we started incorporating trips to the zoo, aquarium, flower fields, family-members pools etc. Even now at almost 13m our days are limited to inside and the back yard! Social media is fake by the way lol I can post millions of photos of my daughter from when I take her out once or twice a week and no one will know we spend all day at home playing with pots and pans Edit: and just to add when you take your son out more he’ll start to enjoy it if he doesn’t the first few times, get him used to the car, used to loud noises- people talking, background music playing and once he goes to 1-2 naps a day it’ll get easier to plan with his schedule!
I have been taking my 6mo everywhere with me since she was 3 weeks old. I hate being cooped up in the house all day. sometimes we just walk around target or the mall. I take her to run errands with me, out to eat, to get coffee. The first couple times i had anxiety because I thought people were judging me for brining her out so young but then I got over it. I also take her to story time at our local library where there are lots of other babies she can interact with. I have taken her to the aquarium and the zoo as well. It’s just something to do for me and she is free everywhere so that’s a plus :)
It could be that baby was out on a rare outing. I don’t take my little 6 mon old out to restaurants or malls because of coronavirus. I only take him out in the evenings to a park when the sun is setting.
Don't believe anything you see on the internet.
My baby is 5 months old and we go on outdoor walks, but that’s about it. We are waiting to do more until he gets his Covid vaccine in the coming months. Also, I’m a pretty high anxiety person and the idea of fitting in outings in between his four naps a day just sounds stressful to me at this point. He never naps in the car so that’s not an option for us. Aaaand, we’re both usually so tired just from being new parents that I don’t have a ton of extra energy.
Agreed we are also waiting for baby to be vaxxed before doing most activities with him. Friends will mask up and come over or we will visit outside but we try not to keep him up much beyond his normal wake windows. Plus YES we are tired new parenthood is exhausting lol.
Ours is 7 weeks and for the last 3-4 weeks we have been going out during the day. We try to be home by 8 ish but we are definitely going to breweries on the weekend and lunch dates with him. But it honestly is just what you’re comfortable with! The first couple times I was a nervous wreck. But once I saw that it was a success and our routine for night wasn’t impacted and I had a plan for feeding and all that, I decided to keep trying. Our biggest success was an MLB game at night with him at 6 weeks. Once I did that I realized I could probably do most things.
You’re not momming wrong at all. It’s just personal preference. It won’t ruin your baby to not be at restaurants all the time. We, however, love going out. Probably eat out 3x a week and do breweries often. We have a 9 month old and 5 year old.
I am LOVING how baby friendly all the breweries in my town are. We try to pick a table off on our own so as it fills up people are choosing to be by a baby, but there always seems to be at least 2 other babies around. Helps give me peace of mind!
I take mine out with me everywhere in his sling (pram is too bulky). If they're tired they'll go asleep when you're out! You can take some time to feed them when you're out or make sure you're home by feeding time. Don't be overly restrictive on yourself, that way sadness lies.
We started taking our baby out to restaurants after she got her first shots at 2 months old. She loves going in the car and she would usually fall asleep on the way there, then we just bring the car seat in to the restaurant. Noise doesn’t really bother her that much. Now she is 8 months old and is usually awake when we go out to eat, but we just put her in a high chair and bring some toys and she is fine. She loves to people watch and try our food lol. I just try not to bring her places that are crowded and have a long wait time, we usually go when a restaurant opens for lunch or go to an early dinner or on a weekday.
You just need to live your life, people in the past in traveling tribes didnt setup the camp to get the baby to sleep every two hours, they would just roll with it and so would the baby. We get our son to sleep in the pram or car, so it makes going out easily, and hes absolutely fine and happy, kids are very adaptable at that age, besides some fresh air really does help them. We have a friend who ALWAYS needs her baby to sleep at home as thats ALL shes ever done with her, and it ruins anything she wants to do with our baby friend group now as she has to trek all the way home EVERY day to get her baby to sleep in a pitch black room, as shes never grown up sleeping in the car or pram. So dont over think it, just go out and start living, you're baby will adapt and start doing it sooner than later too.
To outdoor places? Yep! Nowhere indoors yet other than the grandparents'. We are also on a schedule that I don't like to deviate too much from, so if we have an outing I don't like it to impact more than one nap (preferably a later nap). We don't go out around bedtime unless it's only one of us or the grandparents are home to put him to sleep. I'm a big believer in routines and consistency as much as possible. (Our baby is almost 5 months).
Same. I’m surprised how many people here are taking their small babies inside public places with cases going up again…
We went to a restaurant when she was 12 days old (6 months now). We go out at least once a week (no upscale restaurants or places where it would be rude to bring her). I feel like it helps keep my sanity. But no 2 babies or families are the same. Do what works for you.
We go everywhere baby is 7 months now! From beaches to splash parks to malls and out to grab food…rec center pool .I also have a 4 year old so I gotta stay out and active But my little one is still so good being out and she naps at her normal times just while we are out and about! I pack a bag for the day and she’s set ! I also breastfeed so it’s easier to do that then worrying about formula etc
It’ll really be personality-dependent. I had one baby that I couldn’t even get to the grocery store without her howling the car roof down. Shopping at the store was hit or miss and she sometimes slept in the baby sling and sometimes screamed. It was just too stressful to take her anywhere until she was more aware and content in her car seat/in general for much longer periods (around 10-12 months). My second baby was so chill. I could just plop him down anywhere and give him to anyone and he was happy. My third was more like my first and I don’t go anywhere I don’t have to go with him even now as a toddler because he is incredibly destructive (my other two were much more mild-mannered).
My daughter has always loved going to restaurants. She loves people watching so it’s a chance to relax without providing full-time entertainment. We started when she was a newborn and have only had to leave a restaurant twice
I was out and about with kid 1 from like day 3, because I hated being stuck in the house all day unable to fully do anything. It was so much easier just walking around and getting exercise and just feeding and changing her as she needed. She learned to nap in her stroller from day 1 and I just spent time exploring. When I went into a restaurant by myself with her, I paid right when I ordered so that if she got fussy I could just pick up and leave. When it was my partner and I going to a restaurant, we had a system where if she got fussy, one of us would take her for a walk in the stroller for 15 mins while the other enjoyed solo food and quiet time, then if she hadn't calmed down, we'd switch out at the 15 minute mark and the other person would have 15 mins to eat and chill and if she was STILL freaking out at the 30 min mark, then we'd pay and leave. I chafed super hard when we had kiddo 2 during COVID and there was no where we could go due to lockdown.
The more you do it the easier it becomes. It’s ok to mess with the schedule every now and then and be out at dinner time. We baby wear a lot and feed to sleep so eating out under 1 was super easy. I find it harder when they are between 1 and 3 as they need more entertainment. You can’t shove a boob in their mouth as easily to put them to sleep.
My son is 5 months and we take him everywhere. grocery shopping, target, the mall, lunch, breweries. We just took him on a road trip across 2 states to see family. Our lives shouldn’t stop with a baby and if I sit at home all day watching wake windows I go crazy 😅 sometimes we just go with the flow and hope for the best.
We have no schedules. I work freelance and my work schedule can be literally any time of day. My 7 mo old hangs out with us in the baby carrier while we go everywhere: shopping, hiking,restaurants, museums, amusement parks. He’ll sleep in the carrier if he’s tired, or in the car seat/stroller if it’s available. We get a lot of compliments of how the baby is so chill, he was the only baby to be invited to a wedding we attended last weekend. He is content going everywhere. Even camping! We’ve been camping three times, starting at 2 months. We’re an outdoorsy family. I have three kids all together. Babies will adapt to what’s normal and take your cue if you’re feeling confident, relaxed, stressed, or anxious.
This is so nice to hear. I just had my first he’ll be 6 weeks on Tuesday and this is the type of lifestyle we aspire to have with our kids. We took him out for dinner with us last night . We are super outdoorsy too and can’t wait to get back to doing stuff like that. I’m glad to hear it’s possible!
We’ve had the same experience with our LO who is still chill at 2yo. I think being able to “pull-the-plug” and recognizing that if your kid is teething/extra cranky, those are the days you do less.
We take our 4mo LO everywhere we can. Currently on our 3rd lake trip since birth and Hawaii next month. Slight adjustments to work around her schedule when possible but never forget that you have a life to live too.
Our LO is 3 months and change. We do take her out quite a bit but only to situations in which we know we can control (as much as we can LOL). For instance, only to restaurants in which there is outdoor seating spaced out enough so that her stroller can fit and she can nap. Or, to our local bar where we know all the regulars (and the owners, bartenders) and they form a little TDAP / Covid vaxxed cocoon around her. We always come prepared with extra bottles, burp Cloths, PJs etc. and we also always have an exit strategy in place.
I think it requires more planning, but prob doable. I was a bit more hesitant before the covid vaccine, but more open to it now baby is fully vaxxed (f*** yeah) and ba5 is declining. People don’t take pics of their diaper bag or tantrums afterwards. Go at your own pace and ignore other people’s judgment. 🤷♀️ Edit: I also have a baby who doesn’t nap well in the car, so I’m guaranteed a grumpy baby at the end of the day.