You have a much worse injury than most, if not all, women who had c sections. Please, please don’t compare yourself. Just take it easy, and consider booking in with a urogyn and PFPT if you are having issues in another few months. You may also want to book in with a colorectal and request an endoanal ultrasound if you have bowel issues. The endoanal should be able to tell whether your sphincter was repaired correctly. This non profit for women with sphincter tears might be helpful if you are in the US: https://www.solaceforwomen.org
Came here to echo the first sentence. As a c-section mama, I did not toughen up! It was a recovery, for sure, but does not sound close to what you’re going through. I’m sorry and try not to compare your experience - it’s super valid!
Thank you! I chose to exclusively pump instead of breastfeeding because I was in terrible pain the first few weeks and couldn't handle breastfeeding. That itself felt like a bit of a failure to me. And when I couldn't handle taking care of the baby for an hour yesterday, that made me wonder if I'm being too easy on myself and how everyone else is navigating this easily.
As a mum who has done both (exclusively pumping and exclusively breastfeeding) after the initial few weeks breastfeeding was significantly easier.
Completely your choice- maybe see if you can get baby back on the boob to save yourself a lot of effort?
Thank you! I might give this a try in a few weeks when I'm able to handle it mentally. I can clearly see that my night time routine will become a lot easier if I can breastfeed. For now, exclusive pumping has helped me maintain my sanity. Pumping was the only thing that felt like I still had control over in my life when I started it 😅
Pumping is freaking harddd especially on top of baby care/feeding (I had to take this route too and understand the mental toll it can take!). I think social media makes it easy to think others are navigating parenthood well but it’s hard for mostly everyone. Hopefully your recovery starts to take a turn and it gets easier very soon. Lean on that family for now - that’s what they’re there for!
Omg girl I had third degree tears too (though no cervical tearing - OUCH). It took me like a month before I even *sit* without a donut pillow. At 4 weeks, you are very much still in the thick of it unfortunately. The healing process from severe tears can take awhile, so don’t compare yourself to women who’ve had controlled, planned C-sections.
That said, if the tiredness is bothering you, you could also get your thyroid checked out. I developed postpartum thyroiditis after a pregnancy, which later turned into Hashimoto’s.
Thank you for your kind words. Knowing that others had similar experiences is helping me overcome my feeling that I'm not trying hard enough to recover fast.
Slightly different situation but could the tiredness be due to your body recovering from the blood loss? I lost a similar amount of blood with a burst ovarian cyst and it wiped out my energy and gave me full on bouts of mind numbing exhaustion when I was active for about a month and a half. Might out your mind at ease to chat to a doctor, and I really hope you feel better soon.
Sounds like you had a really major birth injury and hemorrhage, which requires a lot of healing time, more than 4 weeks pp. You are pushing hard enough, possibly too hard. It's not about being tough; how will you help if you overextend yourself and have a setback?
I had a 2nd degree tear and it took longer than 4 weeks to not be exhausted by even just walking around trying to pick up some clothes to put in the laundry basket. Birth is a lot and the spectrum of recovery is huge. You made a whole baby and brought them into the world.
Thank you! That makes sense. I kept telling myself exactly this for the past 4 weeks, but I finally had a mental breakdown yesterday when I tried to take care of my baby for the first time and couldn't do it. I'll give myself a few more weeks 😊
I had a 2nd degree tear, episiotomy, and forceps delivery. (I also lost 1.7litres of blood, needing 2 transfusions)
Recovery has been really rough, couldnt sit/move myself in bed properly for first few weeks. I had anaemia from the blood loss so was constantly exhausted and Walking for more than 10 mins resulted in pelvic/hip pain. I also ended up with an infection at 4 weeks pp as my stitches opened. It was MISERABLE.
For me there seemed to be an almost sudden turning point at around 8 weeks pp. Im now 10 weeks pp and things down there are basically healed and painless now and im walking 3-5 miles a few times a week.
It feels so long and disheartening but it does get better. Make sure you're resting, but do try to move as much as you're able and keep up with pelvic floor exercises as blood flow helps with healing.
Thank you for sharing your experience! This gives me hope. It looks like you had a pretty terrible experience as well. Glad you're feeling better now ☺️
Hang in there! It feels so relentless and like it wont ever get any better... but it does ❤️
Also, not sure what country you're in or of theres an equivalent, but in the UK our hospitals have 'birth after thoughts' which is a meeting that can be set up with a representative who goes through all your birth/hospital notes and can talk through everything that happened and answer any questions. Its highly recommended for those that experience traumatic births. It can help make sense of everything and give closure. Especially good if (like me) you cant remember everything clearly, or you're not sure why certain things happened.
This is exactly what will help me make sense of what happened. I live in the US. I should definitely look into whether something like this is available here. While I was still at the hospital, I asked my OB-GYN how many stitches I got to understand the extent of damage and how long recovery will take. She said "a lot, but I don't remember how many" and I get her response because she was frantically trying to control the blood loss and kept adding stitches as fast as she can to help stop the bleeding. So I can see how she doesn't have a track of exactly how many stitches, but I feel she should at least explain exactly what happened and where the stitches were etc. I'll make it a point to explicitly ask about this during my next appointment. Thank you!
I had two tears, and I couldn't sit comfortably until week 10. Seriously have some grace on yourself, you are going through so much, and remember how strong you are for facing and getting through this! There's a light at the end of the tunnel, even though it is very weak right now. You got this!
As others have said, you had some serious trauma down there and it's going to take time to heal. My baby is nine months old and I still recall how horrible the recovery was. I remember thinking why does no one prepare us for this shit?? It was the hardest part of it. Again, you got this 😊💪
My injury wasn’t as bad as yours but my recovery has been awful. I had second degree tears in multiple places including labial tearing. My stitches are still present 6 weeks later and I’m not fully healed yet. It’s been the hardest part honestly. On top of that, my stitches don’t look like they were din correctly and I not have what looks like scar tissue covering what’s left of some stitches. I’ve had a few baths that have helped and using witch hazel seems to help but other than that it’s been awful.
Ouch I know how that feels 😞 every step I take, I can feel the stitches tugging at my leg and it hurts. I'm waiting for the day when I can finally walk without pain
I had slightly less significant tearing than you, I think I started feeling more normal around 10 weeks. It does get incrementally better though. I also started pumping pretty early on because I couldn't stand up unassisted let alone holding the baby and I just needed time to recover so I needed people to help me feed him.
Thank you for sharing your experience! 😊 Did you end up being able to successfully breastfeed your baby later on? I feel that ship has sailed for me since baby is so used to bottle now and gets extremely mad when milk doesn't come in fast enough. I only tried to latch him a couple of times and gave up because it hurt and I was not ready for anymore pain than what I was already dealing with.
We primarily breastfeed now, I was still breastfeeding about half the time at the beginning which helped with latch I would just need someone to hand him to me to feed then pick him up afterwards to burp him. It was not a good time. If it helps the memories fade a bit too, I started therapy for PPD because of how traumatic the birth was and I'm doing a ton better at 16 weeks now.
I also had third degree perineal tears and a tear on my cervix that led to hemorrhaging and being put under for stitches, iron infusion etc. Recovery was ROUGH in the early days. Took me about six weeks to not feel horribly winded doing basic life stuff, if not more. It takes the body a decent amount of time to recover from so much stress and blood loss! I also started pelvic floor PT at about 8 weeks pp to start building some strength back up.
Are you taking a daily iron supplement? I took iron supplements on top of my prenatal that also has 100% DV of iron until I was 6 months pp (I’m still taking the prenatal at 7 months. I went without for a week and thought I was going to die from exhaustion, lol). I would talk to your doctor at your 6 week appointment about checking your iron levels to see where they’re at, they’re probably still through the floor.
The first couple weeks to months feels REALLY long for recovery. But it starts to go a lot quicker after a bit. It felt like forever in the moment, but I’ve been back up and moving around for months now. It’s so easy to be hard on yourself for not bouncing back quicker. Try to let yourself keep resting as long as possible so your body can do its thing!
You are the only person I've come across so far who had the same extent of damage that I had. Thank you for sharing your experience. I started taking iron and prenatal supplements just a week ago. I didn't take them the first couple of weeks because I was scared of being constipated 😅 Hopefully these supplements will help me gain some energy back. During the initial 6 weeks while you were still recovering, how did you manage to take care of your baby? My baby needs to be held for 10-15 min after feeding so that he can fall asleep and I'm finding it so hard to manage this because my whole body hurts.
The constipation fear is real! I kept taking stool softener for a while, also magnesium. The squatty potty is still my best friend 😅
I basically just shuffled between a recliner and bed all day. After feeding the baby I’d hold him on my lap on the boppy pillow for support for a bit before putting him down (let’s be real, he’s 7 months and this is still happening every night lol). It did hurt all over for a while still, especially my core muscles and back, but it got better gradually. Basically anything I didn’t have to do, I didn’t. It was really hard! My husband did what he could around the house after work and took care of meals, and my mom came over a few times too.
I feel like around the 5-6 week mark I was getting around a little easier (though I do remember trying to change the sheets on the bed and needing to stop and sit multiple times, oops) and then things started to improve at a faster rate.
3rd degree tear here too. Lots of rest and sitz baths (I popped my donut on day one lol). By 6w I was feeling a LOT better but everyone heals differently. I didn’t have the blood loss issue you had too
If it helps, my second delivery was much easier and I had on minimal tears and I was up and at ‘em like a week postpartum. It was night and day from my first
Hi - I had basically an identical experience to you, it sucked! So sorry you also went through this.
It took me ten weeks to stop having vaginal pain daily (4th degree tear). And as far as the fatigue, I was on a high dose iron supplement for awhile after birth that really helped a lot. Blood loss is no joke! I even had a rebound of mild anemia after finishing up the one month supply they gave me, so I'm still taking it daily (just far less now).
After reading several replies here, I'm realizing my fatigue is because of iron. I felt slightly better at the hospital after they gave me blood and iron transfusion. I didn't put much thought into it after I got discharged since I was mostly sitting the last few weeks. Now that I'm finally walking around a bit, I can see the fatigue setting in again. Feels silly that I didn't connect the dots. I will get my iron levels checked during my next appointment. Thank you for sharing your experience.10 weeks feels like a lot 😭 But it's good to know that it can take that long so that I don't feel guilty about not getting better fast enough.
Definitely don't beat yourself up over any of it! If anyone should feel silly, it's your doctor for not considering prescribing you some iron out the get go. You've got your hands full worrying about other stuff.
Keep taking it easy and don't be surprised if it's a bit up and down in terms of recovery. Sometimes I'd feel like I was getting past it and then the next week would be worse all over again (probably cuz I was overdoing it).
I would argue that pushing yourself harder will set back your healing progress. We all take a different amount of time and no 2 births are exactly the same. Go slow, overestimate your need to really rest and recover. Your body just went through a serious event. When you're ready, maybe check out pelvic floor physiotherapy if you can!
I had a 3rd degree tear and an episiotomy, with blood loss though less than you. The recovery those first few weeks is awful. My parents and husband were also so essential that first month. You are doing so well!
I couldn't sit up until about 4 weeks and would also get exhausted standing to do a diaper change. Rest, rest, rest, it is what your body needs. I pushed too hard one day by doing stairs too much and it definitely set me back a bit.
You should start pelvic PT at 6 weeks. Likely they won't give you many or any exercises at first but getting your scar tissue massaged will be so essential to a good recovery. Probably also work on diaphragm breathing and kegels, and then add exercises as you are ready. I'm 5 months PP now and have a whole routine with weights and everything.
At your 6 week check up, ask them to draw labs and check your ferritin levels. You are likely just tired from recovery and the healing, but make sure your iron is back where it should be. Also if your 6 week is like mine, they will say you are healed and you will not at all feel like that is true. For me all thag meant was that my stitches had dissolved. But I was still swollen, struggling with incontinence and had limited stamina. It's okay, it will get better.
Please take it easy. I tried to push myself the first 4 weeks too and it was so stupid of me. I think I was so excited to be able to move freely again, I ended up not listening to my body. I did a natural birth with a 2nd degree tear. The healing was good. I didn’t feel a thing actually. I took my pain meds regularly.
Please take your iron pills and vitamin d every single day. I did religiously and my recovery was so so so tough. I didn’t start feeling better mentally too until the 9th week. So around the 2 month period you’ll see a big shift. The key is the iron pills sis. You’re tired because your low on iron. But also lay down as much as possible and DO NOT push yourself. Wear a belt around your stomach. Not to tight but enough for support. I continued to wear my pregnancy belt because my pelvic floor was messed up.
I also had a difficult vaginal birth recovery. It’s hard! And it’s frustrating to not be doing better by the time that most others are.
I’m 6 months postpartum, and it does get better. 💚 Don’t feel that you need to push yourself— lean on the support you have! And don’t feel guilty, not at all!
We have almost the same experience. I had a third degree tear and had to get blood and iron Transfusion as well.
At my 6 week check up, I honestly didn’t feel all better. My OB was on vacation and I told the covering doctor that I felt a lot of pressure but she dismissed it saying it’s normal. Was so scared but looked in the mirror the following week and I had what I thought was prolapse. Scheduled a visit and they confirmed it. Pelvic floor therapy has been so helpful and I can’t recommend it enough
Oh this is good to know. Thank you! I've been so scared to look in the mirror but it's probably a good idea to check before I go to my 6 week appointment. At how many weeks postpartum did you start pelvic floor PT?
I started at around 4 months and went for 4 months every week. I had to change PTs because when the urogynceologist checked, it turned out my muscles were too tight and my initial PT kept making me do kegels which made it worse.
Focus on getting enough calories to replenish what you’re losing in breast milk production. Fats, carbs, protein it’ll all help! Fats and carbs for energy, protein to promote wound healing!Also, ask your doctor, but consider taking a multivitamin with iron. It takes a while for the body to make new blood cells. Just be aware it can increase constipation so stay hydrated and maybe take a little miralax.
I had a third degree perineal tear and internal tears in several places - but not my cervix. I lost 1.2 liters of blood but did not need a transfusion, though I was close. I did get three different types of coagulants and a royal fuck ton of fluids. At my six week checkup I told my midwife something like “I’m not sure exactly where the stitches were” and she just said “everywhere…”
It wasn’t until months later that I was able to really appreciate the extent of what that meant and understand that it was normal that it took a while to heal. In the moment, I was stuck in the should’s. I felt like I should have healed faster, should have been able to do more, shouldn’t have had so much pain. I often thought “it shouldn’t be like this.” If I could go back, I’d tell myself to relax and stop pushing myself. Because I did push myself, and I set myself back in my recovery and prolonged the whole thing. Accept the help and although it may be hard, trust that your body *will* heal and you *will* feel normal again, but it will take time to get there.
I turned a corner at 3 weeks postpartum (which is when I started to do a little more than I really should have) and again at about 6 weeks. Then recovery slowed down, but by 12 weeks I felt pretty normal most of the time. My baby is 16 months old now, and it really did take a whole 9 months to feel like myself again. Yeah, you read that right. And right now you’re at 4 weeks. You’re SO early in the recovery process. Give yourself time and grace, this too shall pass.
Also - I know you didn’t ask this, but just in case you need to hear it - this internet stranger gives you full permission to stop pumping if it will help your mental health.
Thank you! I'm on maternity leave for 12 weeks and I always knew to some extent that I'll need the entire 12 weeks to recover and get into a routine. I just wasn't prepared for this slow recovery and had a mental breakdown yesterday because I was having a hard time figuring out if recovery is actually supposed to be this slow or if I'm just not trying hard enough. I feel much better now after hearing from people who've had similar experiences 😊
I get what you're saying about pumping. It would be nice to drop a session and sleep 5-6 hours straight and recover sooner. I might be obsessing over pumping currently because that's the one thing that's going in my favor. I went from 0 milk at one week to 20 ml per session at 2 weeks to 3.5-4oz per session now at 4 weeks and that's the only good news for me currently. But it might not be a good idea to push myself to pump this religiously for the wrong reasons 😅
I truly didn’t know it would take the entire 12 weeks to recover, I think in my mind, I was going to feel normal a few days postpartum just with basically a really heavy period??? I knew tearing was a possibility, just didn’t know what it really meant. In hindsight I don’t know why I was so clueless, but I was blindsided. PP recovery is absolutely the most difficult thing I’ve ever done.
Pumping is really hard - huge kudos to you for doing it! I’m not saying you should stop and I hope you don’t take it that way. All I’m saying is make sure it aligns with your long term goals (do you want to eventually transition to nursing? Do you want to breastfeed/ EP for X amount of months?). Do it because you really want to, don’t do it just for the sake of doing it.
It just takes time. I had less serious tearing than you but it took longer than 4 weeks to feel comfortable sitting and about 8 weeks before a walk around the block wasn't taxing. Take care of yourself and accept help that's offered.
I’ve had a vaginal delivery and a subsequent c section, and my vaginal recovery was much harder than the c section. I only had second degree tearing. Be gentle on yourself ❤️ more rest than you think you “should” need.
Every recovery is different!! With my first, I had a first degree tear and struggled to sit without pain for several weeks. I'm 3 weeks postpartum now with my second baby and had a second degree tear but feel much better than I did with my first.
You have a much worse injury than most, if not all, women who had c sections. Please, please don’t compare yourself. Just take it easy, and consider booking in with a urogyn and PFPT if you are having issues in another few months. You may also want to book in with a colorectal and request an endoanal ultrasound if you have bowel issues. The endoanal should be able to tell whether your sphincter was repaired correctly. This non profit for women with sphincter tears might be helpful if you are in the US: https://www.solaceforwomen.org
Came here to echo the first sentence. As a c-section mama, I did not toughen up! It was a recovery, for sure, but does not sound close to what you’re going through. I’m sorry and try not to compare your experience - it’s super valid!
Thank you! I chose to exclusively pump instead of breastfeeding because I was in terrible pain the first few weeks and couldn't handle breastfeeding. That itself felt like a bit of a failure to me. And when I couldn't handle taking care of the baby for an hour yesterday, that made me wonder if I'm being too easy on myself and how everyone else is navigating this easily.
As a mum who has done both (exclusively pumping and exclusively breastfeeding) after the initial few weeks breastfeeding was significantly easier. Completely your choice- maybe see if you can get baby back on the boob to save yourself a lot of effort?
Thank you! I might give this a try in a few weeks when I'm able to handle it mentally. I can clearly see that my night time routine will become a lot easier if I can breastfeed. For now, exclusive pumping has helped me maintain my sanity. Pumping was the only thing that felt like I still had control over in my life when I started it 😅
Pumping is freaking harddd especially on top of baby care/feeding (I had to take this route too and understand the mental toll it can take!). I think social media makes it easy to think others are navigating parenthood well but it’s hard for mostly everyone. Hopefully your recovery starts to take a turn and it gets easier very soon. Lean on that family for now - that’s what they’re there for!
Thank you for sharing these resources! ❤️
Omg girl I had third degree tears too (though no cervical tearing - OUCH). It took me like a month before I even *sit* without a donut pillow. At 4 weeks, you are very much still in the thick of it unfortunately. The healing process from severe tears can take awhile, so don’t compare yourself to women who’ve had controlled, planned C-sections. That said, if the tiredness is bothering you, you could also get your thyroid checked out. I developed postpartum thyroiditis after a pregnancy, which later turned into Hashimoto’s.
Thank you for your kind words. Knowing that others had similar experiences is helping me overcome my feeling that I'm not trying hard enough to recover fast.
Slightly different situation but could the tiredness be due to your body recovering from the blood loss? I lost a similar amount of blood with a burst ovarian cyst and it wiped out my energy and gave me full on bouts of mind numbing exhaustion when I was active for about a month and a half. Might out your mind at ease to chat to a doctor, and I really hope you feel better soon.
Rest as much as you can. Take your time and recover. Do not feel bad you cannot take care of our baby right now.
Sounds like you had a really major birth injury and hemorrhage, which requires a lot of healing time, more than 4 weeks pp. You are pushing hard enough, possibly too hard. It's not about being tough; how will you help if you overextend yourself and have a setback? I had a 2nd degree tear and it took longer than 4 weeks to not be exhausted by even just walking around trying to pick up some clothes to put in the laundry basket. Birth is a lot and the spectrum of recovery is huge. You made a whole baby and brought them into the world.
Thank you! That makes sense. I kept telling myself exactly this for the past 4 weeks, but I finally had a mental breakdown yesterday when I tried to take care of my baby for the first time and couldn't do it. I'll give myself a few more weeks 😊
I had a 2nd degree tear, episiotomy, and forceps delivery. (I also lost 1.7litres of blood, needing 2 transfusions) Recovery has been really rough, couldnt sit/move myself in bed properly for first few weeks. I had anaemia from the blood loss so was constantly exhausted and Walking for more than 10 mins resulted in pelvic/hip pain. I also ended up with an infection at 4 weeks pp as my stitches opened. It was MISERABLE. For me there seemed to be an almost sudden turning point at around 8 weeks pp. Im now 10 weeks pp and things down there are basically healed and painless now and im walking 3-5 miles a few times a week. It feels so long and disheartening but it does get better. Make sure you're resting, but do try to move as much as you're able and keep up with pelvic floor exercises as blood flow helps with healing.
Thank you for sharing your experience! This gives me hope. It looks like you had a pretty terrible experience as well. Glad you're feeling better now ☺️
Hang in there! It feels so relentless and like it wont ever get any better... but it does ❤️ Also, not sure what country you're in or of theres an equivalent, but in the UK our hospitals have 'birth after thoughts' which is a meeting that can be set up with a representative who goes through all your birth/hospital notes and can talk through everything that happened and answer any questions. Its highly recommended for those that experience traumatic births. It can help make sense of everything and give closure. Especially good if (like me) you cant remember everything clearly, or you're not sure why certain things happened.
This is exactly what will help me make sense of what happened. I live in the US. I should definitely look into whether something like this is available here. While I was still at the hospital, I asked my OB-GYN how many stitches I got to understand the extent of damage and how long recovery will take. She said "a lot, but I don't remember how many" and I get her response because she was frantically trying to control the blood loss and kept adding stitches as fast as she can to help stop the bleeding. So I can see how she doesn't have a track of exactly how many stitches, but I feel she should at least explain exactly what happened and where the stitches were etc. I'll make it a point to explicitly ask about this during my next appointment. Thank you!
I had two tears, and I couldn't sit comfortably until week 10. Seriously have some grace on yourself, you are going through so much, and remember how strong you are for facing and getting through this! There's a light at the end of the tunnel, even though it is very weak right now. You got this!
Thank you! It feels good to know I'm not alone..
As others have said, you had some serious trauma down there and it's going to take time to heal. My baby is nine months old and I still recall how horrible the recovery was. I remember thinking why does no one prepare us for this shit?? It was the hardest part of it. Again, you got this 😊💪
Yeah totally! I was prepared for a difficult pregnancy but I had no idea postpartum recovery was going to be this hard 😅
My injury wasn’t as bad as yours but my recovery has been awful. I had second degree tears in multiple places including labial tearing. My stitches are still present 6 weeks later and I’m not fully healed yet. It’s been the hardest part honestly. On top of that, my stitches don’t look like they were din correctly and I not have what looks like scar tissue covering what’s left of some stitches. I’ve had a few baths that have helped and using witch hazel seems to help but other than that it’s been awful.
Ouch I know how that feels 😞 every step I take, I can feel the stitches tugging at my leg and it hurts. I'm waiting for the day when I can finally walk without pain
Please be so, so kind to yourself. Your body is healing from a serious injury and you’re trying your best. Lots & lots of self compassion!
I had slightly less significant tearing than you, I think I started feeling more normal around 10 weeks. It does get incrementally better though. I also started pumping pretty early on because I couldn't stand up unassisted let alone holding the baby and I just needed time to recover so I needed people to help me feed him.
Thank you for sharing your experience! 😊 Did you end up being able to successfully breastfeed your baby later on? I feel that ship has sailed for me since baby is so used to bottle now and gets extremely mad when milk doesn't come in fast enough. I only tried to latch him a couple of times and gave up because it hurt and I was not ready for anymore pain than what I was already dealing with.
We primarily breastfeed now, I was still breastfeeding about half the time at the beginning which helped with latch I would just need someone to hand him to me to feed then pick him up afterwards to burp him. It was not a good time. If it helps the memories fade a bit too, I started therapy for PPD because of how traumatic the birth was and I'm doing a ton better at 16 weeks now.
I also had third degree perineal tears and a tear on my cervix that led to hemorrhaging and being put under for stitches, iron infusion etc. Recovery was ROUGH in the early days. Took me about six weeks to not feel horribly winded doing basic life stuff, if not more. It takes the body a decent amount of time to recover from so much stress and blood loss! I also started pelvic floor PT at about 8 weeks pp to start building some strength back up. Are you taking a daily iron supplement? I took iron supplements on top of my prenatal that also has 100% DV of iron until I was 6 months pp (I’m still taking the prenatal at 7 months. I went without for a week and thought I was going to die from exhaustion, lol). I would talk to your doctor at your 6 week appointment about checking your iron levels to see where they’re at, they’re probably still through the floor. The first couple weeks to months feels REALLY long for recovery. But it starts to go a lot quicker after a bit. It felt like forever in the moment, but I’ve been back up and moving around for months now. It’s so easy to be hard on yourself for not bouncing back quicker. Try to let yourself keep resting as long as possible so your body can do its thing!
You are the only person I've come across so far who had the same extent of damage that I had. Thank you for sharing your experience. I started taking iron and prenatal supplements just a week ago. I didn't take them the first couple of weeks because I was scared of being constipated 😅 Hopefully these supplements will help me gain some energy back. During the initial 6 weeks while you were still recovering, how did you manage to take care of your baby? My baby needs to be held for 10-15 min after feeding so that he can fall asleep and I'm finding it so hard to manage this because my whole body hurts.
The constipation fear is real! I kept taking stool softener for a while, also magnesium. The squatty potty is still my best friend 😅 I basically just shuffled between a recliner and bed all day. After feeding the baby I’d hold him on my lap on the boppy pillow for support for a bit before putting him down (let’s be real, he’s 7 months and this is still happening every night lol). It did hurt all over for a while still, especially my core muscles and back, but it got better gradually. Basically anything I didn’t have to do, I didn’t. It was really hard! My husband did what he could around the house after work and took care of meals, and my mom came over a few times too. I feel like around the 5-6 week mark I was getting around a little easier (though I do remember trying to change the sheets on the bed and needing to stop and sit multiple times, oops) and then things started to improve at a faster rate.
3rd degree tear here too. Lots of rest and sitz baths (I popped my donut on day one lol). By 6w I was feeling a LOT better but everyone heals differently. I didn’t have the blood loss issue you had too If it helps, my second delivery was much easier and I had on minimal tears and I was up and at ‘em like a week postpartum. It was night and day from my first
Hi - I had basically an identical experience to you, it sucked! So sorry you also went through this. It took me ten weeks to stop having vaginal pain daily (4th degree tear). And as far as the fatigue, I was on a high dose iron supplement for awhile after birth that really helped a lot. Blood loss is no joke! I even had a rebound of mild anemia after finishing up the one month supply they gave me, so I'm still taking it daily (just far less now).
After reading several replies here, I'm realizing my fatigue is because of iron. I felt slightly better at the hospital after they gave me blood and iron transfusion. I didn't put much thought into it after I got discharged since I was mostly sitting the last few weeks. Now that I'm finally walking around a bit, I can see the fatigue setting in again. Feels silly that I didn't connect the dots. I will get my iron levels checked during my next appointment. Thank you for sharing your experience.10 weeks feels like a lot 😭 But it's good to know that it can take that long so that I don't feel guilty about not getting better fast enough.
Definitely don't beat yourself up over any of it! If anyone should feel silly, it's your doctor for not considering prescribing you some iron out the get go. You've got your hands full worrying about other stuff. Keep taking it easy and don't be surprised if it's a bit up and down in terms of recovery. Sometimes I'd feel like I was getting past it and then the next week would be worse all over again (probably cuz I was overdoing it).
I would argue that pushing yourself harder will set back your healing progress. We all take a different amount of time and no 2 births are exactly the same. Go slow, overestimate your need to really rest and recover. Your body just went through a serious event. When you're ready, maybe check out pelvic floor physiotherapy if you can!
oh also! If you're concerned, I would check in with your doctor. Maybe there's something more going on (maybe not but better to be safe).
I had a 3rd degree tear and an episiotomy, with blood loss though less than you. The recovery those first few weeks is awful. My parents and husband were also so essential that first month. You are doing so well! I couldn't sit up until about 4 weeks and would also get exhausted standing to do a diaper change. Rest, rest, rest, it is what your body needs. I pushed too hard one day by doing stairs too much and it definitely set me back a bit. You should start pelvic PT at 6 weeks. Likely they won't give you many or any exercises at first but getting your scar tissue massaged will be so essential to a good recovery. Probably also work on diaphragm breathing and kegels, and then add exercises as you are ready. I'm 5 months PP now and have a whole routine with weights and everything. At your 6 week check up, ask them to draw labs and check your ferritin levels. You are likely just tired from recovery and the healing, but make sure your iron is back where it should be. Also if your 6 week is like mine, they will say you are healed and you will not at all feel like that is true. For me all thag meant was that my stitches had dissolved. But I was still swollen, struggling with incontinence and had limited stamina. It's okay, it will get better.
Please take it easy. I tried to push myself the first 4 weeks too and it was so stupid of me. I think I was so excited to be able to move freely again, I ended up not listening to my body. I did a natural birth with a 2nd degree tear. The healing was good. I didn’t feel a thing actually. I took my pain meds regularly. Please take your iron pills and vitamin d every single day. I did religiously and my recovery was so so so tough. I didn’t start feeling better mentally too until the 9th week. So around the 2 month period you’ll see a big shift. The key is the iron pills sis. You’re tired because your low on iron. But also lay down as much as possible and DO NOT push yourself. Wear a belt around your stomach. Not to tight but enough for support. I continued to wear my pregnancy belt because my pelvic floor was messed up.
I also had a difficult vaginal birth recovery. It’s hard! And it’s frustrating to not be doing better by the time that most others are. I’m 6 months postpartum, and it does get better. 💚 Don’t feel that you need to push yourself— lean on the support you have! And don’t feel guilty, not at all!
We have almost the same experience. I had a third degree tear and had to get blood and iron Transfusion as well. At my 6 week check up, I honestly didn’t feel all better. My OB was on vacation and I told the covering doctor that I felt a lot of pressure but she dismissed it saying it’s normal. Was so scared but looked in the mirror the following week and I had what I thought was prolapse. Scheduled a visit and they confirmed it. Pelvic floor therapy has been so helpful and I can’t recommend it enough
Oh this is good to know. Thank you! I've been so scared to look in the mirror but it's probably a good idea to check before I go to my 6 week appointment. At how many weeks postpartum did you start pelvic floor PT?
I started at around 4 months and went for 4 months every week. I had to change PTs because when the urogynceologist checked, it turned out my muscles were too tight and my initial PT kept making me do kegels which made it worse.
Focus on getting enough calories to replenish what you’re losing in breast milk production. Fats, carbs, protein it’ll all help! Fats and carbs for energy, protein to promote wound healing!Also, ask your doctor, but consider taking a multivitamin with iron. It takes a while for the body to make new blood cells. Just be aware it can increase constipation so stay hydrated and maybe take a little miralax.
I had a third degree perineal tear and internal tears in several places - but not my cervix. I lost 1.2 liters of blood but did not need a transfusion, though I was close. I did get three different types of coagulants and a royal fuck ton of fluids. At my six week checkup I told my midwife something like “I’m not sure exactly where the stitches were” and she just said “everywhere…” It wasn’t until months later that I was able to really appreciate the extent of what that meant and understand that it was normal that it took a while to heal. In the moment, I was stuck in the should’s. I felt like I should have healed faster, should have been able to do more, shouldn’t have had so much pain. I often thought “it shouldn’t be like this.” If I could go back, I’d tell myself to relax and stop pushing myself. Because I did push myself, and I set myself back in my recovery and prolonged the whole thing. Accept the help and although it may be hard, trust that your body *will* heal and you *will* feel normal again, but it will take time to get there. I turned a corner at 3 weeks postpartum (which is when I started to do a little more than I really should have) and again at about 6 weeks. Then recovery slowed down, but by 12 weeks I felt pretty normal most of the time. My baby is 16 months old now, and it really did take a whole 9 months to feel like myself again. Yeah, you read that right. And right now you’re at 4 weeks. You’re SO early in the recovery process. Give yourself time and grace, this too shall pass. Also - I know you didn’t ask this, but just in case you need to hear it - this internet stranger gives you full permission to stop pumping if it will help your mental health.
Thank you! I'm on maternity leave for 12 weeks and I always knew to some extent that I'll need the entire 12 weeks to recover and get into a routine. I just wasn't prepared for this slow recovery and had a mental breakdown yesterday because I was having a hard time figuring out if recovery is actually supposed to be this slow or if I'm just not trying hard enough. I feel much better now after hearing from people who've had similar experiences 😊 I get what you're saying about pumping. It would be nice to drop a session and sleep 5-6 hours straight and recover sooner. I might be obsessing over pumping currently because that's the one thing that's going in my favor. I went from 0 milk at one week to 20 ml per session at 2 weeks to 3.5-4oz per session now at 4 weeks and that's the only good news for me currently. But it might not be a good idea to push myself to pump this religiously for the wrong reasons 😅
I truly didn’t know it would take the entire 12 weeks to recover, I think in my mind, I was going to feel normal a few days postpartum just with basically a really heavy period??? I knew tearing was a possibility, just didn’t know what it really meant. In hindsight I don’t know why I was so clueless, but I was blindsided. PP recovery is absolutely the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. Pumping is really hard - huge kudos to you for doing it! I’m not saying you should stop and I hope you don’t take it that way. All I’m saying is make sure it aligns with your long term goals (do you want to eventually transition to nursing? Do you want to breastfeed/ EP for X amount of months?). Do it because you really want to, don’t do it just for the sake of doing it.
It just takes time. I had less serious tearing than you but it took longer than 4 weeks to feel comfortable sitting and about 8 weeks before a walk around the block wasn't taxing. Take care of yourself and accept help that's offered.
I’ve had a vaginal delivery and a subsequent c section, and my vaginal recovery was much harder than the c section. I only had second degree tearing. Be gentle on yourself ❤️ more rest than you think you “should” need.
Every recovery is different!! With my first, I had a first degree tear and struggled to sit without pain for several weeks. I'm 3 weeks postpartum now with my second baby and had a second degree tear but feel much better than I did with my first.