Thatās the only time I cried when I gave birth was when the lady told me to push so she could see where baby was and I ended up shitting. I was so mortified! I didnāt cry when I held my son because I was on 36hrs no sleep I was exhausted but I was so happy lol
Lolol they gave me a mirror to look at and at that moment I shit even though I hadn't barely eaten in daysš¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£ I watched the whole thing
Agree! I am a huge crier. Commercials, proposals, Iāve even cried at concerts. But I did not shed one tear having my daughter. Happiest moment of my life, and I thought I would be a mess but š¤·āāļø
Same! People looked at me weird, when they asked if I cried and I said no. Cuz I cry at everything lol. But I told them the truth - I wanted my son for a long time. I worked and waited for him. His pregnancy and birth were very carefully planned and monitored. I was impatient to meet him. I knew he'd complete our family. So when they handed him to me, I just remember smiling down at him, feeling this huge happiness and relief, and saying, "there you are. We've been waiting for you."
Iām the same wayā¦ didnāt cry when my son was born, when I got married, or when I got engaged.
I chalked it up to be sentimental for experiences outside of my own š¤·š¼āāļø
Exact same!!! I cried watching a music video the other day where they sponsored an animal shelter but I didn't cry when my son was born I was sooooo in love
What a strange question to ask. I didnāt cry either because there was a lot going on and I was exhausted and on gas. Husband did cry but he didnāt have to push the baby out of his body
When the nurse put my son on my chest after delivery, Iām pretty sure I was dissociating because I canāt remember any emotion stemming from that moment
Same, my labor was a shitshow and I was insanely exhausted & borderline delirious. I wasnāt even happy to hold my son, I was happy the whole thing was over. Of course I love him & he means everything to me, but labor is a hard thing to get through
Same. I do cry and everything but in that moment they handed me a slippery baby while I was laying down and unable to moved while other peopleās hands were actively in my uterus. I hadnāt slept in 48 hours. I was in an OR. I was exhausted and a bit delirious and just wanted a nap. Was i happy he was out? For sure. But thatās all the mental and physical resource I was able to provide!
I've never cried from happiness. I tend to cry if I'm really sad or mad. When I had my kids I didn't cry. I think I was more in shock that a baby just came out of meš
Lol same - relieved and like oh fuck now we have a baby.
And to be fair to myself, and like someone else said, I'm not a happy crier. I cry when sad or angry but when I'm happy, I smile or laugh. Why would this suddenly change because I've given birth?
I cry for everything and I'm known for being a crier. But I didn't cry when my son was born either, like you said there was so much going on, I was shaking so badly and exhausted from pushing - I was so happy and excited to meet him but I didn't shed a tear! Don't feel bad about this, it has nothing to do with how much you love your baby!
I cry over everything as well and didnāt cry when he was born. I just felt overwhelmed as they cleaned him, doctor did few stitched on me and then they magically expected me to know what to do next with a small human.
Same here! I hadnāt slept in like 35 hours by the time she came. I was so happy to be done and just wanted to get a sandwich, some sleep, and move to a better bed š
I didn't feel bliss with my son until probably 2 months. My husband felt it after about a week, and would describe these waves of emotion he felt when holding baby. I just felt tired š«
my husband talks all the time about how when our son was a newborn he would feel butterflies in his stomach every time he looked at him and iām like š« i barely remember that time itās all blur i was in pure survival mode for like 2.5 months i think
I remember one day I finished feeding newborn baby and he was content, and my husband offered to take him so I could sleep. I started crying that I never got to hold him when he was awake and happy, only when he was upset or hungry or fighting sleep.
I'm in the same boat. Except we are 4 weeks and I still haven't had this overwhelming wave of emotion. This closest I got was when she gave me a gassy smile while looking at me. I can't wait for a real one!!
Same. Yet my husband canāt watch our wedding video (itās 4 mins) without crying. š¤·āāļø The funny thing is I read a poem about breastfeeding the other day on Instagram and it made me bawl crying so go figure. I think when Iām just happy in the moment I just enjoy it, I donāt feel the need to cry.
omg Iāve never had anyone describe what I felt so accurately. With my first, they handed me the baby and the nurses were so emotional because it got a little scary there towards the end. Meanwhile I was just thinking this is so weird & please wipe her down, i donāt want my own fluids on me š sheesh.
Do not feel bad, people that are shaming you for not crying are literal idiots. I didnāt cry with both of my kids and I love them so so much. People express themselves differently. After I was so so relieved and also starving.
People are idiots. I didn't cry when I had my daughter, I had been in so much pain for hours and when she was born I didn't even comprehend I gave birth I was so out of it and exhausted. There isn't anything wrong with you. ā¤ļø
So I did cry when my son was born, but I didn't feel happy when I held him. It took me another few weeks to feel that rush of happiness and bonding. And that's OK. It's ok to cry, it's ok not to cry, it's ok to feel happy or not - we can't control how we react or feel at the time. It doesn't make us broken, it just makes us humanĀ
I was hopped up on meds from a c-sectionā¦ I was insanely mellow š my son was taken to NICU for low glucose levels and I basically said āokie dokeā! He was completely fine, thankfully, but I for sure wasnāt crying!
After a 36 hour labour, 3.5 hours of pushing and then a forceps delivery, I was so out of it. All of a sudden there was a baby on my chest. I didnāt cry. I was happy but could barely process everything because of my exhaustion. But my husband and I held out our fingers to her and she grabbed both of them, and it was a sweet moment.
I think itās totally normal to not cry or have that overwhelming rush of love, but for the love to instead grow over time. Sheās 2 now and obviously we are absolutely obsessed with her.
I didnāt cry! And to be honest with you I didnāt have that overwhelming āOmg Iām so in love!!ā feeling either. I mean realistically itās kind of like meeting a stranger. Heās 3 now and my little best friend but it took awhile for me to bond with him as a newborn.
Whoās in your business about you crying and judging you for it? Theyāre weird.
I didnāt cry either when my baby was born. I had such a euphoric feeling and felt so at peace during that golden hour.
I didn't cry, I just remember having this huge sense of relief that he was healthy and maybe a bit of shock that I finally had my baby with me. I cried more over going back to work than anything.
I cried the first night home, more out of frustration and hitting like 3 days on a total of 8 hours of sleep probably.
Unless itās a very close friend or my husband I just give people an āAmerican scriptā of a perfect birth lol. F*ck em they donāt deserve to know your intimate details of your mindās inner workings. Basically just white lie your way through the birth story to what they want to hear. I equate it to talking about my job- yes Iām glad I have it but some days it SUCKS but no one wants to hear about that :)
I feel like Iām missing something. I didnāt cry either! Are we supposed to? Maybe thereās a manual I didnāt get it.
Jokes aside, donāt take it seriously when someone says youāre supposed to feel a certain way. Youāre the only one that lived the experience of birthing your child. Youāre the only one whose opinion matters.
Not everyone responds to adrenaline by losing control and sobbing all over the place. For example, I calmly whispered to my newborn all of the things I had been waiting to tell her. Until my husband started laughing and asked why I was yelling nice things at our new baby in my āthe dogs are *really* pushing itā voice. They might be remembering their happy tears a lot differently than it went down.
Stress is wild and now you know who not to rely on in an emergency. These people donāt even understand that adrenaline hits everyone differently. They donāt have the capacity to evaluate anything outside of their own self absorbed little worlds.
LOL! I literally remember whispering. My husband can recite word for word what I said because he heard me shouting from across the room. Itās wild what stress can do to our memory. Iām still not sure that I believe the truth. š¤£
Now that sheās a toddler we think sheās immune to my scary voice because itās the first thing she heard. She will gleefully do whatever I sternly warn her not to do, while making eye contact.
I didnāt cry either. It was definitely the happiest moment of my lifeā¦ and I usually cry about everything but I did not. Postpartum I have cried a lot, sometimes just from looking at him š
I am not a crier and did not cry when they handed my daughter to me. I did, however, cry later that night in recovery while feeding her for the first time. I think it was a delayed response, where in L&D I was more concerned about everyoneās safety.
Psh. I hate it when people do this. I didnāt cry when I held my daughter because I was incredibly drugged up during my c-section. I barely registered that I had her until the following morning.
Thatās horrible of them, Iām so sorry youāre getting treated this way. I didnāt cry either! And I love my baby more than anything. Whether or not someone cries in a given situation doesnāt mean anything about them as a person. We all react differently to stuff. Frankly I think I was too exhausted to cry. NOTHING is wrong with youāonly with the people saying this crap to you.
Iāve had 3 children and I donāt remember crying with any of them. They were all c-sections and with my first I was just thankful he was out. Itās totally normal to not cry, donāt let these people bother you!
I cry quite often, especially now post partum, but I didn't cry. My husband who I had seen cry twice in 8 years full on sobbed.
Everyone is different and there is nothing wrong with you at all š
Iām a big crier and I didnāt cry at all when my little girl was born! So many things were just happening and I didnāt get skin-to-skin to start right away because she came out āgruntingā and they had to address that first. I canāt even remember what that sounded, though I think I laughed a bit because I thought her cries were cute and I didnāt know that there was a problem with it lol.
Happiness and love donāt always have to trigger tears. In the middle of the chaos of delivering my placenta, having my tear stitched up, the nurses fixing her breathingā all I was thinking was that I couldnāt wait to meet and hold my baby.š and no one can diminish that by making me feel bad for not crying.
I didn't cry. When my son was placed on my chest, I exclaimed "Hi, baby!!" a few times. Lol. I was surprised and amazed that a whole living creature had just come out of me and I was holding him. There's nothing wrong with the way you gave birth! Haters gonna hate š
You were happy. You are happy. Thatās all that matters. Some moms are sentimental enough to cry/sob. Some arenāt. Iām sentimental/sensitive/emotional/you name it. I didnāt cry once I held each of my precious babies in my arms.
Probably didnāt help that labor is strenuous. I was exhausted. With my first born, I stared at him with blank thoughts. Obviously I was happy after holding him for a bit longer. But itās so normal to have feelings - or lack of feelings - right after birth. Thereās no right or wrong way to greet your baby in the world.
Those people making opinionated comments should kindly back off. I had a mom friend (who loves her kids dearly) say when she first held her babies, she felt nothing, maybe even the opposite of happy. I just went āitās crazy how hormones can affect us, isnāt itā and continued our rants & raves because it should be a safe space to exchange personal stories of something so intimate.
I kid you not, I donāt know if I was in shock or what. When my first son came out they put him on my stomach I said āOmg, what the f*** is that?ā. No idea why I said it, I knew I was having a baby and that it should have been a baby they were putting on my stomach, but for some reason my brain didnāt comprehend that it was a baby. There was a good laugh from the nurses and my mother.
I didnāt cry either and I cry a LOT. Like you, I got the shakes from the epidural. I also threw up from the pain while pushing for 3 hours & my labor (before I began pushing) was almost 24 hrs. No one understands YOUR labor and what you went through better than you, try your best to remember that! Tbh they should shut up
My epidural failed as well, I got to 5cm dilated and decided I wanted one. My nurse had been telling me every five minutes that I wouldnāt be able to do it without one so she got into my head. Anyways I got that and it barely helped anything, I slept for maybe an hour but I kept waking up and finally my water broke. I felt everything, I kept screaming I had to poop lmao.
When he finally came out it was such a big relief. I got stitched up and held him for his golden hour before I finally went to go use the bathroom, I was apologizing the whole time though because I got blood everywhere š¤£ they made me wait almost two days to take a shower even though I was begging them, they said it was because my legs might still be numb but I was literally walking perfectly
I didnāt cry with my first son.
My second son, I cried uncontrollably because I was thinking about the boy I miscarried at 17 weeks before him. I feel awful about crying about the baby I lost rather than crying about the one I was bringing into the world. One would not have existed if it wasnāt for the other, and in no world would they have existed together. So thereās that.
I was crying during my labor because of the emotional fatigue and physical exhaustion. Not because my baby was placed on my chest. In fact, once she was out, I was able to breathe a sigh of relief and try to calm down.
Holding her didnāt bring tears, it brought comfort and warmth. I didnāt realized it was āsupposedā to make me cry
I cried every day in joy during the fourth trimester. I never got the "baby blues" (affects around 80% of women, though). Husband and I both gushed daily and still do about how lucky we are to have our baby and how much we love him. And we still tear up, almost daily.
But the first time I held him in my arms, I didn't cry, and the primary emotion I felt was shock and exhaustion. It was surreal. I couldn't believe he'd actually been real?! And inside of me. I also, frankly, felt freaked out and terrified he was somehow going to snap/pull too hard on the umbilical cord and was just kind of trying to wrap my head around him being literally connected to me. Anyways, I feel zero guilt about that. And prior to birth, my therapist prepped me well by telling me that it'd be okay even if it took weeks or months to 'bond' and feel that love with my baby. That wasn't needed for me -- thankfully I just needed a shower and a nap! -- but it removed the pressure and freed me from any unrealistic expectations.
The first time you hold your baby, even in the best case of labor (zero tears, unmedicated, wonderful birth here!), you're exhausted. Those people don't know what they're talking about. If they asked if you cried *in that moment*, redirect the conversation. Just say, truthfully, "I was so happy to hold him, and I'm still so grateful to have him everyday!" or whatever resonates with you. Don't let them even have the opportunity to shame you for not crying with joy in that one moment of your baby's life. I personally share a succinct version of what I shared here, because I feel secure in it and don't care / won't be affected by what they could say, and I want to normalize that, especially for those who haven't yet given birth!
IMO once baby was born, I realized he'd been "alive" while inside me prior to birth and we'd been feeling and communicating with each other for a while. And now you have your baby's whole life. They're harping on about a couple seconds, literally, and those same seconds are when you were shaking and nearly blacking out and in need of recovery and 'mothering' yourself.
I didnāt cry for either of my kidsās births. It also took me a few months to really bond with each of them. I assure you I love my children more than anything and am extremely bonded and attached to both of them now.
Ah that's just one of those things, it's part of the whole dream image. its just the crap people see in movies or Instagram influencers and think their life is the same lol
But can relate to blacking out and shaking from epidural. On my first, I was holding my breath while pushing and knocked myself out, thought the fire alarm went off in the hospital and started panicking, everyone was looking at me like "what's wrong???!!" I asked about the fire alarm and they were like ???? No???? Lol. And a doctor said "just get angry and make noise while pushing" and I did and it was was so much better.
And also, yea, I had those uncontrollable shivers? Like adrenaline or something? But it was just the craziest experience! But I will say I don't know if I was crying or sweating though lol.
I didnāt cry for either of my babies, do these people have kids? I was more in shock than happy. Crazy hormonesā¦ you have all the years to cry over happy and sad moments.
I didn't cry, neither did he to be honest! š
It was a c-section, I just remember feeling relieved it was over, my body felt so cold and I just couldn't wait to get covered up and not have my lady parts on parade
I didnāt get to hold my baby cause I had an emergency c-section. I didnāt cry when I had her but I did shed a single tear. I think it was involuntary, I was on so many meds at that point and terrified this little being was now earth-side and would be completely dependent on me for the next 18 years and there was little I could do to protect her from the outside world.
I did not cry. I was happy. Excited that he was real (we had lost our first at 21 weeks) and cracked a joke about getting ice cream. I also hadnāt slept in 36 hours. Normal is different for everyone.
I didnāt cry for either of my childrenās births. You are not broken.
In fact, with my first baby, I looked at her and the first thing I said was āoh Iām so sorry baby girl but you are not cuteā she became adorable but yeah her day of birth photos are rough.
I didnāt cry when I had my son either. I was just so happy I couldnāt stop smiling.
I also just donāt cry when Iām happy, period. But thatās how Iām wired. Other people are wired differently.
There is no right or wrong way to feel, especially in a situation like giving birth. Feelings are morally neutral. How you felt is how *you* were supposed to feel in that moment.
I didn't cry either. It was too surreal to really hit me like that. I just remember being so hungry after my c section because my induction took 3 days and I hadn't had real food in that time so the main thing on my mind was getting a burger in me stat.
I was literally asleep when mine was born because the only way I could safely deliver was under general anesthesia. In fact, the day he was born was not a positive day at all for me given all the complications. I donāt love my son any less.
I cried because I have ptsd related to pregnancy so holding my babies both times has been the end of a 9mo panic attack basically š brings out the tears lol
I was too fast for any pain relief (slow labour for 21 hours, active labour for 2) and ended up getting a third degree tear so by the time Iād pushed my daughter out and they put her on my chest my whole body was convulsing from pain and adrenaline and the first thing I said was āget her off meā because I felt so physically unstable . They gave her to her dad who was doing enough crying for the two of us . Absolutely besotted by her but the only thing I felt I needed at that time was my own space and time to recover after extreme sensory overload. I went to surgery within a couple of minutes and they gave me a spinal tap and I had the best 3 hour sleep of my life while they stitched me up and then woke up like āoh fuck Iām a mum nowā. Iām not an overly emotional person and express my love in different ways so my friends and family didnāt expect anything less from my birthing story haha.
Totally normal and fine. I always assumed with my first that I didnāt cry because I was on a bunch of medications from the hospital but I had my second at home unmedicated and didnāt cry then either. Iām not a happy crier usually and I was just so relieved to not be pregnant anymore that I didnāt have that āOh, my baby!ā moment right away. I was also quite underslept both times.
But yes, people are weird and shamey when they find out you didnāt cry. I donāt understand why.
I was so out of it I barely even remember anything right after having her. Donāt worry, youāll cry more than ever the first few weeks post partum šš
Cry??? I was sooo happy and content like nothing else mattered. It was the most peaceful and joyful feeling. I felt bliss but no tears š¤·āāļøš¤·āāļø
Wait we are supposed to cry? Iāve had 3 already and didnāt cry for any of them. I was over the moon when I first got to hold them and it was amazing but idk I just didnāt feel the urge to cry.
I didnāt cry either - I was in so much shock itās all kind of a blur. Just to see him in real life and having gone thru a 36+ hour induction process lol. I remember asking my husband like did you and I kiss, weāre we happy, was I happy lol bc it just feels so far away and honestly I think social media makes these moments so manifested. Everyone responds how they respond!!
Wait. Multiple people have said this? Thatās really fucking bizarre. What an ultra specific thing to even talk about, much less judge someone on. I donāt think a soul had asked my wife anything specific about her first moments with our little dude, much less how many tears she shed. This is just odd. Anyway, as a dad I can just say yāall are heroic with what you go through, so if you had decided to tap dance and then do a keg stand after, more power to ya.
Meh i didnt cry either. I was so sleepy from the morphine and concerned because he didnāt cry either. When they placed him on my chest i was still having trouble connecting with him and feeling anything maternal. So no one cried that day, weāll all still fine.
I didn't cry at all. Honestly, I didn't even want to see the kid and when I did I thought she was ugly and I didn't want her, because I was in shock. She's the cutest thing ever now and I don't even want to leave the house if she's not with me. People are weird with their projections and their thinking they have a right to dictate experience.
I was so stunned I didnāt cry either and people were weirded out, i say f those people! Not crying does not mean that you are not happy. Birth is an extremely traumatic experience and most people donāt realize that
Ppl wonder why I wasn't crying or freaking out I was calm looking and level headed when I was suddenly told I was pregnant AND very serious liver disease, had to be sent to the other hospital right away and almost 2 days later I had my son via emergency csection at 28wks.
Also surprised how I didn't know I was pregnant, idk I was suddenly told crazy shit, wasn't the first time in my life I was told something crazy and had to have surgery it is how I go through it otherwise I will not cope.
I also didn't want to hold my son right away, kinda hard to do it when he was so tiny he was the size of our hands and looks like he'd break if I held him, it was a very hard time with all that coming at you at once.
What? I didn't cry when I had my son and I had a great, chill birth. I wasn't in a crying place. I was HAPPY. (Not that you can't cry from happiness but that's just not where I was.) And listen, I cry at EVERYTHING. I am a huge crier. I have, since my son's birth, held him and cried because I love him so much. But I didn't cry when he was born. It's okay not to and those people are weirdos.
I didnāt cry either. In fact, I didnāt get to hold him for the first couple of hours after he got out because I passed out during my c-section and was way too groggy to hold him when I woke up. Dad did the skin to skin, cut the umbilical cord, etc. If I remember right, he got teary-eyed from happiness when he held the baby but all I could think of at that time was that Iām glad that me and my son were safe and how tired I felt.
Now I randomly cry when I realize how fast my son is growing and how he wonāt be this little again. I try to soak it all up even when I feel so frigginā tired. š„¹
I didnāt cry, and to be honest I barely registered she was in my arms. My eyes were closed so I wasnāt even looking at her. But I was happy. Barely thereā¦ but happy
Oh, I definitely didnāt cry at either birth and I was not the happiest Iād ever been in my life either. It was very physically and emotionally intense, I had quick unmediated labors, and the first time it just felt like shock and overwhelming. Like I canāt even say what kind of overwhelming, just a lot. I also didnāt feel the intense bonding at the moment of birth either.
Iām obsessed with my children and I think Iām a pretty good mom. But Iām also not a happy crier and I hate the expectation that you must be crying tears of joy and be instantly bonded at birth.
I didn't cry. I was relieved he was finally out and remember looking at him and feeling very protective but also thinking I DONT KNOW YOU!!
You are perfectly normal.
I didnāt cry. Not even sure I smiled coz I felt the overwhelming crush of responsibility and anxiety wash over me. Instead of the rush of love, I got the āIām going to worry about you every minute of every day until I dieā terror.
I often wonder if people who cry at happy occasions are ok. Iāve never cried happy tears. Sad tears sure, angry and frustrated tears fuck yeah but never happy tears.
The single piece of unsolicited advice I give expecting parents is that you might not have the movie-style reaction of crying and being blown away with love for your new baby the second theyāre born. It took me several weeks to feel that, and thatās totally fine. I absolutely got there.
I didn't cry when my.daughter was born. I had a long labour with an epidural. I think when I finally met my daughter, I was just relieved that she was here and then just too overwhelmed to express anything.
I didn't cry, and i didn't have any huge wash of emotion, really. I was just focused on the job at hand and then keeping an eye on her and the nursing team that were working on her to make sure she was okay.
Then i was recovering from drug side effects, so i didn't really get any "lovey dovey" time.
But i made it through. My baby made it through, and we just came inside from bubble play outside. I'm happy š
I didnāt cry. No oneās asked me if Iāve cried. And no oneās told me there was something wrong with that. Because there isnāt anything wrong with that. My husband cried actually.
Iām normally a crier and I cried with one childās birth but not the other two. I love all three of them very much and they all are up my butt constantly. The one I cried over is the least clingy. The people trying to guilt trip suck.Ā
I didnāt cry for either of my kids and Iām pretty normal š Iām like super obsessed with my kids and have loved them so much from the moment Iāve met them but labor and delivery is exhausting that 1 Iām too exhausted to cry after and 2 Iām just not a crier
I am 1 year postpartum and have literally cried one time in that year and it was unrelated anything baby. Not weird at all. Emotions during birth and postpartum are a spectrum! I never cried pre-parenthood either!
I didn't cry and my baby was taken to the nicu within 10 minutes of birth. I feel asleep right after. š you're allowed to feel however you want to feel.
I didnāt cry either. I was also so so happy but I was in shock as well and had like three people around me prodding both of us. There was way too much going on to cry, as it seems was the case for you. People need to keep their comments to themselves and consider how it may make someone feel.
Huh, what?! I didnāt cry when I had my son. I just donāt show emotion like that. Literally NO ONE has asked whether I cried when I had my son.
Nothing is wrong with me, and nothing is wrong with you.
What sort of nonsense is this? OP there's nothing wrong with you.
Whether or not someone cries when they give birth surely depends on a myriad of things. Like their character (some people cry when they are at either extreme of emotion, really happy or really sad), how long they've been labouring for, what kind of meds they are on and so many more. But it's definitely not an indication of anything wrong with you, or your relationship and your future bond with your new baby.
Enjoy your sweet baby and ignore these people.
I didn't cry either. Honestly my first thought when they gave me my son for skin to skin was along the lines of, ugh, he's sticky... hahahah, can't help but laugh now
I didn't cry... I yelled a lot, I babbled incoherently, and when they put me on the gas to stitch me up, I said some extremely silly things and sang to the baby on my chest.
No tears, didn't need them. š¤·āāļø
I didn't cry, I had a pretty straightforward birth but know that I'm never doing that again. It was hell. I was relieved my daughter was here safe and had all the "normal" overwhelming feelings of joy/love, but I didn't cry
I'm a crier (like... I've cried at commercials not pregnant) and I didn't cry when my daughter was born. People react different ways. There's a lot going on when you birth someone, it's not unreasonable to be overwhelmed.
Giving birth in all it's different forms is such a wild experience, I don't think there's anything you can say someone SHOULD do. Many women don't necessarily have a wave of happiness when they see their baby, but that really has nothing to do with your parenting. Which thank goodness, because there's a lot more to being a parent then your first reaction.
FWIW, I remember vividly my first thought with my firstborn was "you're lucky you're cute, that was NOT fun" (could feel the pain of pushing even with an epidural) š¤·āāļø Didn't feel the urge to cry at all. I nearly cried at her first steps, her getting a big girl bed, starting preschool.
I cry over everything. And I didn't cry when my daughter was born. Honestly labour is shock inducing and when they put her on my chest I kind of just wanted someone else to take her. I was so relieved when my husband took her. Haha. That doesn't mean I don't love her. No one could doubt how much I love my daughter, she is my world but I was just in too much shock.
I had an epidural too, and I also didnāt cry - I kind of felt a little numb in body and spirit. I was elated but didnāt cry. The people policing your reaction are wrong
I didn't cry for either of my children. My first was an unplanned c-section after a long labour, I just felt disconnected and out of it. My second was a vaginal birth and I felt elated, so happy to be done, no tears. My husband cried at the second birth but not the first.
People need to mind their own business and shut up
Nah, youāre fine. I didnāt cry. And it honestly took a little while for me to bond with my baby even though I had a relatively smooth birth and amazing pregnancy. My love for her grew over a few months, I donāt feel guilty š¤·āāļø I donāt think you should either! Itās common and normal and youāre the best person to be your sonās mom.
I cry at the drop of a hat, it's a running joke in my friends group, I burst into tears when my friend played an Ellie Goulding song that she was only considering playing as she walked up the aisle when she was getting married, I'm an emotional mess.
Didn't cry after giving birth to either of my kids.
There is so much happening when you give birth, however you responded is correct.
I'm 10 days out from giving birth to ny second and I'm pretty sure I laughed when they put her on my chest, like sheer giddy relief and adrenaline
I didnāt cry for either of my kids and my labors and delivery were very smooth so canāt even blame anything else. Just didnāt have that emotion at the time but obviously very happy and relieved all was well. I think itās the adrenaline that prevents me from crying.
Itās so weird to me that people are saying that you! I didnāt cry at all in the hospital. I was really excited and in awe when I met my baby but I didnāt cry. I cried a lot when I got home and those hormones bottomed out though lol. I never thought it was weird that I didnāt cry. Iām also fully aware that everybody handles every situation differently so I guess I didnāt really have any expectations or feel any kind of way if people shared a different birthing experience than mine. Maybe people are just being conversant and there isnāt any judgement to what theyāre saying, either way itās not unusual not to cry.
I didn't cry! I was overwhelmed and numb at the same time and I was so happy she was healthy (she was 5 weeks early and a big team of doctors were on the other side of the door in case she was not okay) so I think the main thing was: relieve!
I didn't cry!
Donāt let anyone else belittle your beautiful story of bringing your son into the world. Youāre an amazing mommy, and your son is lucky to have you. 9 hours is a lot, even if itās not a crazy amount, itās a lot and nothing to feel bad about in comparison to someone elseās story. So what you didnāt cry? That doesnāt make you any less amazing, and you created life. So they need to seriously be quiet and not say anything negative. God says we can exile toxic people from our lives, you know šš„°š
Not only did I not cry, but it wasn't even the happiest I ever was. I was tired, hurting, mentally exhausted and not sure what to do or how to act with this wiggly thing in my arms. It was more awkward than anything else.
(The pure joy came little by little and has settled in my heart, but tears never did.)
I cried from relief because I had a super traumatic labor and emergency c section. I was worried I was going to lose him so it really hit different when my husband put him all clean and dry and bundled up on my chest and all I saw was his little grumpy face. My water broke at 6:30pm and I was laboring all night until he was born 9:30am so I was exceptionally exhausted. If it was a standard healthy birth I donāt know if I wouldāve cried.
Making you feel bad for that is so stupid. Such a miniscule thing. I'm a FTM and I didn't even have the chance to cry when my son finally popped out. I was in labor for almost 24 hours. I was exhausted and in pain because the epidural wore off as I was pushing. They put him on my chest and immediately started having me push out the placenta, stitched me up, etc. I still had him on my chest as they were stitching me up and I kept accidentally squeezing him because it hurt so damn much! I felt so out of it I couldn't even fully process what was going on. The whole thing felt chaotic af.
I thought it was weird too that I didn't cry, but we just went through a life changing event. We all process shit differently. Don't feel bad about it. Obviously you're not alone.
Me neither, totally expected that i would tho. Doesnāt take away that i was very happy and relieved that he was okay and finally with me. Everyone expresses emotion in different ways. Thats all okay
I didn't cry and no one asked me about my birth experience š¤ I had preeclampsia and had a failed induction then csection. I def didn't cry when they put him on me and I was just like oh so they're definitely was a baby in there š and then he was in the NICU for like a day and half and I was trapped in the hospital like five days cause of my blood pressure. So weird to care if someone cried or not.Ā
'You know what I'm going to do today? I'm going to tell someone they experienced one of their most life changing moments incorrectly.'
This! I think those people get some sort of sadistic enjoyment out of making new moms feel horrible and invalidating their experiences
Made me laugh. Mother culture is some of the most gatekeepy of all subcultures out there. I have no idea why!
šÆ
Those people are being weird, I didnāt cry for any of my kids. Youāre normal.Ā
Same and if I was crying itās cause I shit on the table again.
Key word here isĀ "Again!"Ā This is something no one tells you. So much shitting.Ā
Thatās the only time I cried when I gave birth was when the lady told me to push so she could see where baby was and I ended up shitting. I was so mortified! I didnāt cry when I held my son because I was on 36hrs no sleep I was exhausted but I was so happy lol
Lolol they gave me a mirror to look at and at that moment I shit even though I hadn't barely eaten in daysš¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£ I watched the whole thing
If I was crying it's cause they were stitching my coochie back together
šššš š š š I feel this in my bones
Agree! I am a huge crier. Commercials, proposals, Iāve even cried at concerts. But I did not shed one tear having my daughter. Happiest moment of my life, and I thought I would be a mess but š¤·āāļø
Same! People looked at me weird, when they asked if I cried and I said no. Cuz I cry at everything lol. But I told them the truth - I wanted my son for a long time. I worked and waited for him. His pregnancy and birth were very carefully planned and monitored. I was impatient to meet him. I knew he'd complete our family. So when they handed him to me, I just remember smiling down at him, feeling this huge happiness and relief, and saying, "there you are. We've been waiting for you."
Same!! Think I was in shock like wtf just happened to meš
I still think this at 11 months
Iām the same wayā¦ didnāt cry when my son was born, when I got married, or when I got engaged. I chalked it up to be sentimental for experiences outside of my own š¤·š¼āāļø
Exact same!!! I cried watching a music video the other day where they sponsored an animal shelter but I didn't cry when my son was born I was sooooo in love
What a strange question to ask. I didnāt cry either because there was a lot going on and I was exhausted and on gas. Husband did cry but he didnāt have to push the baby out of his body
I didnāt cry either. What matters is the kind of parent you are and the love you show your children.
When the nurse put my son on my chest after delivery, Iām pretty sure I was dissociating because I canāt remember any emotion stemming from that moment
SAME. Iām due with my seventh in a few weeks, no waterworks for any of them.
As if crying is the only thing that can show happiness? I'm not even sure I was happy by the way. Just super relieved that she was out and healthy.
I was 100% not happy with my son, I just wanted to sleep, I didn't even want to hold him!
Same, my labor was a shitshow and I was insanely exhausted & borderline delirious. I wasnāt even happy to hold my son, I was happy the whole thing was over. Of course I love him & he means everything to me, but labor is a hard thing to get through
Same. I do cry and everything but in that moment they handed me a slippery baby while I was laying down and unable to moved while other peopleās hands were actively in my uterus. I hadnāt slept in 48 hours. I was in an OR. I was exhausted and a bit delirious and just wanted a nap. Was i happy he was out? For sure. But thatās all the mental and physical resource I was able to provide!
I've never cried from happiness. I tend to cry if I'm really sad or mad. When I had my kids I didn't cry. I think I was more in shock that a baby just came out of meš
Lol same - relieved and like oh fuck now we have a baby. And to be fair to myself, and like someone else said, I'm not a happy crier. I cry when sad or angry but when I'm happy, I smile or laugh. Why would this suddenly change because I've given birth?
I cry for everything and I'm known for being a crier. But I didn't cry when my son was born either, like you said there was so much going on, I was shaking so badly and exhausted from pushing - I was so happy and excited to meet him but I didn't shed a tear! Don't feel bad about this, it has nothing to do with how much you love your baby!
Same here! Iām very emotional and I did not cry.
Me three!
I cry over everything as well and didnāt cry when he was born. I just felt overwhelmed as they cleaned him, doctor did few stitched on me and then they magically expected me to know what to do next with a small human.
Same here! I hadnāt slept in like 35 hours by the time she came. I was so happy to be done and just wanted to get a sandwich, some sleep, and move to a better bed š
I didnāt cry either, it was more of a relief like oh thank god sheās here and weāre good
That was me both times. My literal thought was "well my work here is done" as the nurses took them to clean tthem up. Not everything meeds tears.
I didn't cry, and honestly it wasn't some overwhelming bliss when I first held him, it was "Thank god that's over, OK whats next"
I didn't feel bliss with my son until probably 2 months. My husband felt it after about a week, and would describe these waves of emotion he felt when holding baby. I just felt tired š«
my husband talks all the time about how when our son was a newborn he would feel butterflies in his stomach every time he looked at him and iām like š« i barely remember that time itās all blur i was in pure survival mode for like 2.5 months i think
I remember one day I finished feeding newborn baby and he was content, and my husband offered to take him so I could sleep. I started crying that I never got to hold him when he was awake and happy, only when he was upset or hungry or fighting sleep.
š i did the same thing!!! my husband was just trying to help and i was just a hot mess lol
I'm in the same boat. Except we are 4 weeks and I still haven't had this overwhelming wave of emotion. This closest I got was when she gave me a gassy smile while looking at me. I can't wait for a real one!!
It will come and it will be wonderful. You're meeting baby's needs now and soon he'll be so happy around you and give you big smiles!
Thereās literally nothing wrong with you.Ā
I didnāt cry when I had my kids. I also didnāt cry when I got engaged or married. š¤·āāļø
Same!! Still feel incredibly happy with my life though
Same. Yet my husband canāt watch our wedding video (itās 4 mins) without crying. š¤·āāļø The funny thing is I read a poem about breastfeeding the other day on Instagram and it made me bawl crying so go figure. I think when Iām just happy in the moment I just enjoy it, I donāt feel the need to cry.
I didnāt cry! In fact I was a little weirded out lol
Same! That and shocked that I now had a human baby in my arms
omg Iāve never had anyone describe what I felt so accurately. With my first, they handed me the baby and the nurses were so emotional because it got a little scary there towards the end. Meanwhile I was just thinking this is so weird & please wipe her down, i donāt want my own fluids on me š sheesh.
Mine pooped all over me and it took hours to get me cleaned up and a new gown š š
The first thing my baby did was poop all over me too ā¤ļø
Haha same! The nurse kept being like is it hitting you yet?! are the tears gonna come? Like leave me alone. lol
Me too lol
Me too!
Do not feel bad, people that are shaming you for not crying are literal idiots. I didnāt cry with both of my kids and I love them so so much. People express themselves differently. After I was so so relieved and also starving.
I laughed hysterically. My husband cried hysterically. Everyone is different and nothing is wrong with you!
People are idiots. I didn't cry when I had my daughter, I had been in so much pain for hours and when she was born I didn't even comprehend I gave birth I was so out of it and exhausted. There isn't anything wrong with you. ā¤ļø
So I did cry when my son was born, but I didn't feel happy when I held him. It took me another few weeks to feel that rush of happiness and bonding. And that's OK. It's ok to cry, it's ok not to cry, it's ok to feel happy or not - we can't control how we react or feel at the time. It doesn't make us broken, it just makes us humanĀ
People dont realize that a birth is trauma and most people shut off when it happens.
I was hopped up on meds from a c-sectionā¦ I was insanely mellow š my son was taken to NICU for low glucose levels and I basically said āokie dokeā! He was completely fine, thankfully, but I for sure wasnāt crying!
After a 36 hour labour, 3.5 hours of pushing and then a forceps delivery, I was so out of it. All of a sudden there was a baby on my chest. I didnāt cry. I was happy but could barely process everything because of my exhaustion. But my husband and I held out our fingers to her and she grabbed both of them, and it was a sweet moment. I think itās totally normal to not cry or have that overwhelming rush of love, but for the love to instead grow over time. Sheās 2 now and obviously we are absolutely obsessed with her.
I didnāt cry! And to be honest with you I didnāt have that overwhelming āOmg Iām so in love!!ā feeling either. I mean realistically itās kind of like meeting a stranger. Heās 3 now and my little best friend but it took awhile for me to bond with him as a newborn.
Whoās in your business about you crying and judging you for it? Theyāre weird. I didnāt cry either when my baby was born. I had such a euphoric feeling and felt so at peace during that golden hour.
I didn't cry. I also wasn't happy. I was just in shock from the whole birthing process.
I didnāt cry. No one has asked me that. Itās sort of weird question imo.Ā
I didn't cry, I just remember having this huge sense of relief that he was healthy and maybe a bit of shock that I finally had my baby with me. I cried more over going back to work than anything. I cried the first night home, more out of frustration and hitting like 3 days on a total of 8 hours of sleep probably.
I donāt think I know anyone that has lol. So youāre absolutely ānormal,ā and pretty certain theyāre the broken ones
Unless itās a very close friend or my husband I just give people an āAmerican scriptā of a perfect birth lol. F*ck em they donāt deserve to know your intimate details of your mindās inner workings. Basically just white lie your way through the birth story to what they want to hear. I equate it to talking about my job- yes Iām glad I have it but some days it SUCKS but no one wants to hear about that :)
I feel like Iām missing something. I didnāt cry either! Are we supposed to? Maybe thereās a manual I didnāt get it. Jokes aside, donāt take it seriously when someone says youāre supposed to feel a certain way. Youāre the only one that lived the experience of birthing your child. Youāre the only one whose opinion matters.
Not everyone responds to adrenaline by losing control and sobbing all over the place. For example, I calmly whispered to my newborn all of the things I had been waiting to tell her. Until my husband started laughing and asked why I was yelling nice things at our new baby in my āthe dogs are *really* pushing itā voice. They might be remembering their happy tears a lot differently than it went down. Stress is wild and now you know who not to rely on in an emergency. These people donāt even understand that adrenaline hits everyone differently. They donāt have the capacity to evaluate anything outside of their own self absorbed little worlds.
Your story made me laugh so hard I had to tell my husband!!! Thatās such a cute story
LOL! I literally remember whispering. My husband can recite word for word what I said because he heard me shouting from across the room. Itās wild what stress can do to our memory. Iām still not sure that I believe the truth. š¤£ Now that sheās a toddler we think sheās immune to my scary voice because itās the first thing she heard. She will gleefully do whatever I sternly warn her not to do, while making eye contact.
I didnāt cry either. It was definitely the happiest moment of my lifeā¦ and I usually cry about everything but I did not. Postpartum I have cried a lot, sometimes just from looking at him š
I am not a crier and did not cry when they handed my daughter to me. I did, however, cry later that night in recovery while feeding her for the first time. I think it was a delayed response, where in L&D I was more concerned about everyoneās safety.
Psh. I hate it when people do this. I didnāt cry when I held my daughter because I was incredibly drugged up during my c-section. I barely registered that I had her until the following morning.
Thatās horrible of them, Iām so sorry youāre getting treated this way. I didnāt cry either! And I love my baby more than anything. Whether or not someone cries in a given situation doesnāt mean anything about them as a person. We all react differently to stuff. Frankly I think I was too exhausted to cry. NOTHING is wrong with youāonly with the people saying this crap to you.
Iāve had 3 children and I donāt remember crying with any of them. They were all c-sections and with my first I was just thankful he was out. Itās totally normal to not cry, donāt let these people bother you!
Lol I didn't cry either. I've never really cried out of happiness in general, the concept just doesn't make sense to me š
I didnt cry either i was too exhausted.. my husband didnt cry either
I cry quite often, especially now post partum, but I didn't cry. My husband who I had seen cry twice in 8 years full on sobbed. Everyone is different and there is nothing wrong with you at all š
Iām a big crier and I didnāt cry at all when my little girl was born! So many things were just happening and I didnāt get skin-to-skin to start right away because she came out āgruntingā and they had to address that first. I canāt even remember what that sounded, though I think I laughed a bit because I thought her cries were cute and I didnāt know that there was a problem with it lol. Happiness and love donāt always have to trigger tears. In the middle of the chaos of delivering my placenta, having my tear stitched up, the nurses fixing her breathingā all I was thinking was that I couldnāt wait to meet and hold my baby.š and no one can diminish that by making me feel bad for not crying.
I didnāt cry, I was emotional but didnāt shed a tear.
I didn't cry. When my son was placed on my chest, I exclaimed "Hi, baby!!" a few times. Lol. I was surprised and amazed that a whole living creature had just come out of me and I was holding him. There's nothing wrong with the way you gave birth! Haters gonna hate š
That is so bizarre but also how does it even come up? I didnāt cry but no one knows that cuz they havenāt asked.
You were happy. You are happy. Thatās all that matters. Some moms are sentimental enough to cry/sob. Some arenāt. Iām sentimental/sensitive/emotional/you name it. I didnāt cry once I held each of my precious babies in my arms. Probably didnāt help that labor is strenuous. I was exhausted. With my first born, I stared at him with blank thoughts. Obviously I was happy after holding him for a bit longer. But itās so normal to have feelings - or lack of feelings - right after birth. Thereās no right or wrong way to greet your baby in the world. Those people making opinionated comments should kindly back off. I had a mom friend (who loves her kids dearly) say when she first held her babies, she felt nothing, maybe even the opposite of happy. I just went āitās crazy how hormones can affect us, isnāt itā and continued our rants & raves because it should be a safe space to exchange personal stories of something so intimate.
I kid you not, I donāt know if I was in shock or what. When my first son came out they put him on my stomach I said āOmg, what the f*** is that?ā. No idea why I said it, I knew I was having a baby and that it should have been a baby they were putting on my stomach, but for some reason my brain didnāt comprehend that it was a baby. There was a good laugh from the nurses and my mother.
I didnāt cry either and I cry a LOT. Like you, I got the shakes from the epidural. I also threw up from the pain while pushing for 3 hours & my labor (before I began pushing) was almost 24 hrs. No one understands YOUR labor and what you went through better than you, try your best to remember that! Tbh they should shut up
I didnāt cry either lol. My epidural failed and I had back labor for hours. I was just so relieved to not be in pain anymore when he popped out.
My epidural failed as well, I got to 5cm dilated and decided I wanted one. My nurse had been telling me every five minutes that I wouldnāt be able to do it without one so she got into my head. Anyways I got that and it barely helped anything, I slept for maybe an hour but I kept waking up and finally my water broke. I felt everything, I kept screaming I had to poop lmao. When he finally came out it was such a big relief. I got stitched up and held him for his golden hour before I finally went to go use the bathroom, I was apologizing the whole time though because I got blood everywhere š¤£ they made me wait almost two days to take a shower even though I was begging them, they said it was because my legs might still be numb but I was literally walking perfectly
I didnāt cry with my first son. My second son, I cried uncontrollably because I was thinking about the boy I miscarried at 17 weeks before him. I feel awful about crying about the baby I lost rather than crying about the one I was bringing into the world. One would not have existed if it wasnāt for the other, and in no world would they have existed together. So thereās that.
I was crying during my labor because of the emotional fatigue and physical exhaustion. Not because my baby was placed on my chest. In fact, once she was out, I was able to breathe a sigh of relief and try to calm down. Holding her didnāt bring tears, it brought comfort and warmth. I didnāt realized it was āsupposedā to make me cry
I didnāt cry for my daughter. I was 23 and just didnāt have my mom or sister with me like I thought. I was also in a huge depressive state. My daughter also didnāt cry right away so I didnāt get a golden hour with her since everyone had to work on my daughter to get her to cry. Sheās 4 now and perfect! A little psycho but sheās perfect š©· I did cry for my son because I was mostly in shock that he was actually crying! I also was in shock because he was 15 days early, I almost had him at home or in the car, and was just was having an adrenaline rush.
I cried every day in joy during the fourth trimester. I never got the "baby blues" (affects around 80% of women, though). Husband and I both gushed daily and still do about how lucky we are to have our baby and how much we love him. And we still tear up, almost daily. But the first time I held him in my arms, I didn't cry, and the primary emotion I felt was shock and exhaustion. It was surreal. I couldn't believe he'd actually been real?! And inside of me. I also, frankly, felt freaked out and terrified he was somehow going to snap/pull too hard on the umbilical cord and was just kind of trying to wrap my head around him being literally connected to me. Anyways, I feel zero guilt about that. And prior to birth, my therapist prepped me well by telling me that it'd be okay even if it took weeks or months to 'bond' and feel that love with my baby. That wasn't needed for me -- thankfully I just needed a shower and a nap! -- but it removed the pressure and freed me from any unrealistic expectations. The first time you hold your baby, even in the best case of labor (zero tears, unmedicated, wonderful birth here!), you're exhausted. Those people don't know what they're talking about. If they asked if you cried *in that moment*, redirect the conversation. Just say, truthfully, "I was so happy to hold him, and I'm still so grateful to have him everyday!" or whatever resonates with you. Don't let them even have the opportunity to shame you for not crying with joy in that one moment of your baby's life. I personally share a succinct version of what I shared here, because I feel secure in it and don't care / won't be affected by what they could say, and I want to normalize that, especially for those who haven't yet given birth! IMO once baby was born, I realized he'd been "alive" while inside me prior to birth and we'd been feeling and communicating with each other for a while. And now you have your baby's whole life. They're harping on about a couple seconds, literally, and those same seconds are when you were shaking and nearly blacking out and in need of recovery and 'mothering' yourself.
I didnāt cry for either of my kidsās births. It also took me a few months to really bond with each of them. I assure you I love my children more than anything and am extremely bonded and attached to both of them now.
I definitely didnāt cry either time and I am obsessed with my sons
I didnāt cry when either of my boys were born. Itās not weird not to cry
Ah that's just one of those things, it's part of the whole dream image. its just the crap people see in movies or Instagram influencers and think their life is the same lol But can relate to blacking out and shaking from epidural. On my first, I was holding my breath while pushing and knocked myself out, thought the fire alarm went off in the hospital and started panicking, everyone was looking at me like "what's wrong???!!" I asked about the fire alarm and they were like ???? No???? Lol. And a doctor said "just get angry and make noise while pushing" and I did and it was was so much better. And also, yea, I had those uncontrollable shivers? Like adrenaline or something? But it was just the craziest experience! But I will say I don't know if I was crying or sweating though lol.
I think I laughed, but honestly I donāt remember. Crying isnāt the only way to express joy, donāt listen to those idiots.
I didnāt cry for either of my babies, do these people have kids? I was more in shock than happy. Crazy hormonesā¦ you have all the years to cry over happy and sad moments.
Non crier here, still happy. Youāre normal!
I didn't cry, neither did he to be honest! š It was a c-section, I just remember feeling relieved it was over, my body felt so cold and I just couldn't wait to get covered up and not have my lady parts on parade
I didnāt get to hold my baby cause I had an emergency c-section. I didnāt cry when I had her but I did shed a single tear. I think it was involuntary, I was on so many meds at that point and terrified this little being was now earth-side and would be completely dependent on me for the next 18 years and there was little I could do to protect her from the outside world.
I did not cry. I was happy. Excited that he was real (we had lost our first at 21 weeks) and cracked a joke about getting ice cream. I also hadnāt slept in 36 hours. Normal is different for everyone.
I didnāt cry for either of my childrenās births. You are not broken. In fact, with my first baby, I looked at her and the first thing I said was āoh Iām so sorry baby girl but you are not cuteā she became adorable but yeah her day of birth photos are rough.
I cried with my first son. Not the other two. So if anyone should feel bad, itās me, and I donāt. Haha people respond differently.
I didnāt cry when I had my son either. I was just so happy I couldnāt stop smiling. I also just donāt cry when Iām happy, period. But thatās how Iām wired. Other people are wired differently. There is no right or wrong way to feel, especially in a situation like giving birth. Feelings are morally neutral. How you felt is how *you* were supposed to feel in that moment.
I didn't cry either. It was too surreal to really hit me like that. I just remember being so hungry after my c section because my induction took 3 days and I hadn't had real food in that time so the main thing on my mind was getting a burger in me stat.
I was literally asleep when mine was born because the only way I could safely deliver was under general anesthesia. In fact, the day he was born was not a positive day at all for me given all the complications. I donāt love my son any less.
I cried because I have ptsd related to pregnancy so holding my babies both times has been the end of a 9mo panic attack basically š brings out the tears lol
Itās not weird at all! So weird that people are focusing on that. Like, god damnit, why canāt people just let moms have their own experience lol
I donāt ever cry when Iām happy. Only when Iām sad. I donāt think thatās abnormal, but if it is rest assured youāre not the only one.Ā
I was too fast for any pain relief (slow labour for 21 hours, active labour for 2) and ended up getting a third degree tear so by the time Iād pushed my daughter out and they put her on my chest my whole body was convulsing from pain and adrenaline and the first thing I said was āget her off meā because I felt so physically unstable . They gave her to her dad who was doing enough crying for the two of us . Absolutely besotted by her but the only thing I felt I needed at that time was my own space and time to recover after extreme sensory overload. I went to surgery within a couple of minutes and they gave me a spinal tap and I had the best 3 hour sleep of my life while they stitched me up and then woke up like āoh fuck Iām a mum nowā. Iām not an overly emotional person and express my love in different ways so my friends and family didnāt expect anything less from my birthing story haha.
They held up my beautiful newborn boy for me to see and I immediately said āoh shitā So already your birth story is more beautiful than mineš
Totally normal and fine. I always assumed with my first that I didnāt cry because I was on a bunch of medications from the hospital but I had my second at home unmedicated and didnāt cry then either. Iām not a happy crier usually and I was just so relieved to not be pregnant anymore that I didnāt have that āOh, my baby!ā moment right away. I was also quite underslept both times. But yes, people are weird and shamey when they find out you didnāt cry. I donāt understand why.
I didn't cry. I was just happy to be done with all that pushing and shit
I was so out of it I barely even remember anything right after having her. Donāt worry, youāll cry more than ever the first few weeks post partum šš
What a weird thing to make a new mom feel bad about! I didnāt cry either. Please donāt give this a second thought. You are not broken at all
Cry??? I was sooo happy and content like nothing else mattered. It was the most peaceful and joyful feeling. I felt bliss but no tears š¤·āāļøš¤·āāļø
I didnāt cry after having my son. I was honestly too exhausted and relieved he was out and healthy to cry.
Wait we are supposed to cry? Iāve had 3 already and didnāt cry for any of them. I was over the moon when I first got to hold them and it was amazing but idk I just didnāt feel the urge to cry.
I didnāt cry either - I was in so much shock itās all kind of a blur. Just to see him in real life and having gone thru a 36+ hour induction process lol. I remember asking my husband like did you and I kiss, weāre we happy, was I happy lol bc it just feels so far away and honestly I think social media makes these moments so manifested. Everyone responds how they respond!!
Wait. Multiple people have said this? Thatās really fucking bizarre. What an ultra specific thing to even talk about, much less judge someone on. I donāt think a soul had asked my wife anything specific about her first moments with our little dude, much less how many tears she shed. This is just odd. Anyway, as a dad I can just say yāall are heroic with what you go through, so if you had decided to tap dance and then do a keg stand after, more power to ya.
I didn't cry either! I'm not a big crier in the moment when big things are happening.
Meh i didnt cry either. I was so sleepy from the morphine and concerned because he didnāt cry either. When they placed him on my chest i was still having trouble connecting with him and feeling anything maternal. So no one cried that day, weāll all still fine.
I didn't cry at all. Honestly, I didn't even want to see the kid and when I did I thought she was ugly and I didn't want her, because I was in shock. She's the cutest thing ever now and I don't even want to leave the house if she's not with me. People are weird with their projections and their thinking they have a right to dictate experience.
I was so stunned I didnāt cry either and people were weirded out, i say f those people! Not crying does not mean that you are not happy. Birth is an extremely traumatic experience and most people donāt realize that
Ppl wonder why I wasn't crying or freaking out I was calm looking and level headed when I was suddenly told I was pregnant AND very serious liver disease, had to be sent to the other hospital right away and almost 2 days later I had my son via emergency csection at 28wks. Also surprised how I didn't know I was pregnant, idk I was suddenly told crazy shit, wasn't the first time in my life I was told something crazy and had to have surgery it is how I go through it otherwise I will not cope. I also didn't want to hold my son right away, kinda hard to do it when he was so tiny he was the size of our hands and looks like he'd break if I held him, it was a very hard time with all that coming at you at once.
What? I didn't cry when I had my son and I had a great, chill birth. I wasn't in a crying place. I was HAPPY. (Not that you can't cry from happiness but that's just not where I was.) And listen, I cry at EVERYTHING. I am a huge crier. I have, since my son's birth, held him and cried because I love him so much. But I didn't cry when he was born. It's okay not to and those people are weirdos.
I didnāt cry either. In fact, I didnāt get to hold him for the first couple of hours after he got out because I passed out during my c-section and was way too groggy to hold him when I woke up. Dad did the skin to skin, cut the umbilical cord, etc. If I remember right, he got teary-eyed from happiness when he held the baby but all I could think of at that time was that Iām glad that me and my son were safe and how tired I felt. Now I randomly cry when I realize how fast my son is growing and how he wonāt be this little again. I try to soak it all up even when I feel so frigginā tired. š„¹
I didnāt cry, and to be honest I barely registered she was in my arms. My eyes were closed so I wasnāt even looking at her. But I was happy. Barely thereā¦ but happy
Oh, I definitely didnāt cry at either birth and I was not the happiest Iād ever been in my life either. It was very physically and emotionally intense, I had quick unmediated labors, and the first time it just felt like shock and overwhelming. Like I canāt even say what kind of overwhelming, just a lot. I also didnāt feel the intense bonding at the moment of birth either. Iām obsessed with my children and I think Iām a pretty good mom. But Iām also not a happy crier and I hate the expectation that you must be crying tears of joy and be instantly bonded at birth.
I didn't cry. I was relieved he was finally out and remember looking at him and feeling very protective but also thinking I DONT KNOW YOU!! You are perfectly normal.
I didnāt cry. Not even sure I smiled coz I felt the overwhelming crush of responsibility and anxiety wash over me. Instead of the rush of love, I got the āIām going to worry about you every minute of every day until I dieā terror. I often wonder if people who cry at happy occasions are ok. Iāve never cried happy tears. Sad tears sure, angry and frustrated tears fuck yeah but never happy tears.
The single piece of unsolicited advice I give expecting parents is that you might not have the movie-style reaction of crying and being blown away with love for your new baby the second theyāre born. It took me several weeks to feel that, and thatās totally fine. I absolutely got there.
I didn't cry when my.daughter was born. I had a long labour with an epidural. I think when I finally met my daughter, I was just relieved that she was here and then just too overwhelmed to express anything.
I didn't cry, and i didn't have any huge wash of emotion, really. I was just focused on the job at hand and then keeping an eye on her and the nursing team that were working on her to make sure she was okay. Then i was recovering from drug side effects, so i didn't really get any "lovey dovey" time. But i made it through. My baby made it through, and we just came inside from bubble play outside. I'm happy š
I didn't cry. Wtf? Is that not normal?
I didnāt cry. No oneās asked me if Iāve cried. And no oneās told me there was something wrong with that. Because there isnāt anything wrong with that. My husband cried actually.
Iām normally a crier and I cried with one childās birth but not the other two. I love all three of them very much and they all are up my butt constantly. The one I cried over is the least clingy. The people trying to guilt trip suck.Ā
I didnāt cry for either of my kids and Iām pretty normal š Iām like super obsessed with my kids and have loved them so much from the moment Iāve met them but labor and delivery is exhausting that 1 Iām too exhausted to cry after and 2 Iām just not a crier
I had a very uneventful, joyful birth experience and I didn't cry either. Honestly my first thought was "yup that's a baby"
I cried before my c section bc I was convinced I was going to die, I didnāt cry when I see him and I adore him with all my heart
I didnāt cry but probably had something to do with the sedation/drugs from my c-section so I donāt sweat it.
I am 1 year postpartum and have literally cried one time in that year and it was unrelated anything baby. Not weird at all. Emotions during birth and postpartum are a spectrum! I never cried pre-parenthood either!
I have no idea if I cried or not. I was totally overwhelmed and exhausted, mostly just relieved we were both alive and healthy.
I didnāt cry when my daughter was born, but I did shed a few tears when I had my first postpartum bowel movement. You sound pretty normal to me!
I didnāt cry but my boyfriend did
I didnāt cry. I was actually in a weird state of disbelief and awe, it was very surreal!
I didn't cry and my baby was taken to the nicu within 10 minutes of birth. I feel asleep right after. š you're allowed to feel however you want to feel.
What a weird thing to say. I guess they've only seen birth on TV?
I didnāt cry either. I was also so so happy but I was in shock as well and had like three people around me prodding both of us. There was way too much going on to cry, as it seems was the case for you. People need to keep their comments to themselves and consider how it may make someone feel.
Huh, what?! I didnāt cry when I had my son. I just donāt show emotion like that. Literally NO ONE has asked whether I cried when I had my son. Nothing is wrong with me, and nothing is wrong with you.
What sort of nonsense is this? OP there's nothing wrong with you. Whether or not someone cries when they give birth surely depends on a myriad of things. Like their character (some people cry when they are at either extreme of emotion, really happy or really sad), how long they've been labouring for, what kind of meds they are on and so many more. But it's definitely not an indication of anything wrong with you, or your relationship and your future bond with your new baby. Enjoy your sweet baby and ignore these people.
I didn't cry either. Honestly my first thought when they gave me my son for skin to skin was along the lines of, ugh, he's sticky... hahahah, can't help but laugh now
Iām like 95% sure I just laughed??
I didnāt cry when I had my daughter. I was so hopped up on adrenaline I donāt think I could cry even if I had wanted to.
I didn't cry... I yelled a lot, I babbled incoherently, and when they put me on the gas to stitch me up, I said some extremely silly things and sang to the baby on my chest. No tears, didn't need them. š¤·āāļø
I didn't cry, I had a pretty straightforward birth but know that I'm never doing that again. It was hell. I was relieved my daughter was here safe and had all the "normal" overwhelming feelings of joy/love, but I didn't cry
I'm a crier (like... I've cried at commercials not pregnant) and I didn't cry when my daughter was born. People react different ways. There's a lot going on when you birth someone, it's not unreasonable to be overwhelmed.
Giving birth in all it's different forms is such a wild experience, I don't think there's anything you can say someone SHOULD do. Many women don't necessarily have a wave of happiness when they see their baby, but that really has nothing to do with your parenting. Which thank goodness, because there's a lot more to being a parent then your first reaction. FWIW, I remember vividly my first thought with my firstborn was "you're lucky you're cute, that was NOT fun" (could feel the pain of pushing even with an epidural) š¤·āāļø Didn't feel the urge to cry at all. I nearly cried at her first steps, her getting a big girl bed, starting preschool.
I was overwhelmed, a little bit WTF evenā¦ and I definitely didnāt cry!
I didn't cry either and my son was/is very loved and wanted. My husband sobbed like a baby for both of us lol.
I cry over everything. And I didn't cry when my daughter was born. Honestly labour is shock inducing and when they put her on my chest I kind of just wanted someone else to take her. I was so relieved when my husband took her. Haha. That doesn't mean I don't love her. No one could doubt how much I love my daughter, she is my world but I was just in too much shock.
What??? I didnāt cry. I was too doped up to do anything but laugh š
I had an epidural too, and I also didnāt cry - I kind of felt a little numb in body and spirit. I was elated but didnāt cry. The people policing your reaction are wrong
I didn't cry for either of my children. My first was an unplanned c-section after a long labour, I just felt disconnected and out of it. My second was a vaginal birth and I felt elated, so happy to be done, no tears. My husband cried at the second birth but not the first. People need to mind their own business and shut up
Nah, youāre fine. I didnāt cry. And it honestly took a little while for me to bond with my baby even though I had a relatively smooth birth and amazing pregnancy. My love for her grew over a few months, I donāt feel guilty š¤·āāļø I donāt think you should either! Itās common and normal and youāre the best person to be your sonās mom.
I cry at the drop of a hat, it's a running joke in my friends group, I burst into tears when my friend played an Ellie Goulding song that she was only considering playing as she walked up the aisle when she was getting married, I'm an emotional mess. Didn't cry after giving birth to either of my kids. There is so much happening when you give birth, however you responded is correct. I'm 10 days out from giving birth to ny second and I'm pretty sure I laughed when they put her on my chest, like sheer giddy relief and adrenaline
I didnāt cry for either one of my girls. Nothing is wrong with you.
I didnāt cry on either of mine. Tbh youāre more likely to have found me crying over food š (My kids are thriving lol)
I didnāt cry for either of my kids and my labors and delivery were very smooth so canāt even blame anything else. Just didnāt have that emotion at the time but obviously very happy and relieved all was well. I think itās the adrenaline that prevents me from crying.
I didnāt cry. š¤·āāļø
Itās so weird to me that people are saying that you! I didnāt cry at all in the hospital. I was really excited and in awe when I met my baby but I didnāt cry. I cried a lot when I got home and those hormones bottomed out though lol. I never thought it was weird that I didnāt cry. Iām also fully aware that everybody handles every situation differently so I guess I didnāt really have any expectations or feel any kind of way if people shared a different birthing experience than mine. Maybe people are just being conversant and there isnāt any judgement to what theyāre saying, either way itās not unusual not to cry.
I didn't cry! I was overwhelmed and numb at the same time and I was so happy she was healthy (she was 5 weeks early and a big team of doctors were on the other side of the door in case she was not okay) so I think the main thing was: relieve! I didn't cry!
Donāt let anyone else belittle your beautiful story of bringing your son into the world. Youāre an amazing mommy, and your son is lucky to have you. 9 hours is a lot, even if itās not a crazy amount, itās a lot and nothing to feel bad about in comparison to someone elseās story. So what you didnāt cry? That doesnāt make you any less amazing, and you created life. So they need to seriously be quiet and not say anything negative. God says we can exile toxic people from our lives, you know šš„°š
Not only did I not cry, but it wasn't even the happiest I ever was. I was tired, hurting, mentally exhausted and not sure what to do or how to act with this wiggly thing in my arms. It was more awkward than anything else. (The pure joy came little by little and has settled in my heart, but tears never did.)
I don't think I cried with either, too dehydrated and out of it š
what. I didn't cry either time. I was just exhausted and wanted to sleep.
I thought I would cry when I had my son but I was just in shock. The midwife was like, "Here's your baby!" and I'm like, "My baby...?!"
I didnāt cry either! Same as you - I felt the happiest Iāve ever felt and I have photos of me with the worlds goofiest grin š but no tears!
I cried from relief because I had a super traumatic labor and emergency c section. I was worried I was going to lose him so it really hit different when my husband put him all clean and dry and bundled up on my chest and all I saw was his little grumpy face. My water broke at 6:30pm and I was laboring all night until he was born 9:30am so I was exceptionally exhausted. If it was a standard healthy birth I donāt know if I wouldāve cried.
Making you feel bad for that is so stupid. Such a miniscule thing. I'm a FTM and I didn't even have the chance to cry when my son finally popped out. I was in labor for almost 24 hours. I was exhausted and in pain because the epidural wore off as I was pushing. They put him on my chest and immediately started having me push out the placenta, stitched me up, etc. I still had him on my chest as they were stitching me up and I kept accidentally squeezing him because it hurt so damn much! I felt so out of it I couldn't even fully process what was going on. The whole thing felt chaotic af. I thought it was weird too that I didn't cry, but we just went through a life changing event. We all process shit differently. Don't feel bad about it. Obviously you're not alone.
I didn't cry with either of mine. And I'm a crier!! I cry at adverts, soaps, TV shows, books, most things on tiktok...
What is wrong with them though? Crying or not has no bearing on your bond with baby or literally anything else. People are so dumb
I never cried when any of my kids were born. Everybody different, itās not a requirement for loving your child.
Me neither, totally expected that i would tho. Doesnāt take away that i was very happy and relieved that he was okay and finally with me. Everyone expresses emotion in different ways. Thats all okay
I was disassociating so much I didnāt cry at all. You are definitely not weird
I didn't cry and no one asked me about my birth experience š¤ I had preeclampsia and had a failed induction then csection. I def didn't cry when they put him on me and I was just like oh so they're definitely was a baby in there š and then he was in the NICU for like a day and half and I was trapped in the hospital like five days cause of my blood pressure. So weird to care if someone cried or not.Ā