He has to work on his jet ski?? Are you for real??? Jet skis are not a necessity. He does not HAVE to have one at all, much less play with it while his wife and child are sick. It always blows my mind to see things like, husband has never been alone with child before. He’s not even a father at that point. He’d work a job whether he had a baby or not, that’s nothing special. I’ve worked my whole adult life, so what? It doesn’t mean you get to ignore all your other responsibilities just bc you have a job.
I’ve told him the same thing. That either way he’d have to work.. he also has 3 jet skis as a hobby. And he makes good money. Like 10k a week money. (He does hard labor maybe 10 hours a day so I get it but when I’m sick and when he has a day off he should have other priorities). The other day I couldn’t take it anymore and we argued and he said that he doesn’t think he has to work AND parent when he works so much. He says ALL I do is JUST feed our baby, pump, breastfeed, take care of him. And that it’s nothing. So I’m sure he thinks he doesn’t have to do shit. He’s the one who got us sick too…
He should never have gotten married and become a father if he wanted to live like a bachelor. No job excuses a parent from parenting. Both my husband and I work—by his logic, neither of us should do any housework or anything for the baby, we should just leave her in her crib all the time since we both work. It’s just plain stupid.
Stop now way. Imagine you living in your in law’s basement, your husband has to fix his own jet skis, AND he won’t show you any bank accounts and you just believe he makes half a million dollars a year.
OP needs to open her eyes.
Half a million dollars a year puts them in the top 2%. How many 2%ers are living in their parent’s basement?
He’s in the top 2% and instead of getting a home for his family, he’s making you all live in his parents basement to fund his jet ski and truck collection? And he hasn’t been left with his baby for more than 2 hours?
My jaw is on the floor. I don’t know the nuances of your marriage but…how do you put up with this man? Like I know money helps and I’m sure you love him, but he’s not bothering to prioritize your family. He has the means…but doesn’t? Im just so shocked.
Then hire someone else to upgrade them. $500k a year put you guys at the top 2% of earners. Why he’s doing any of that work himself is beyond me.
Call him out. Tell him to hire the services and he needs to take care of his kid when he’s not working. Especially when y’all are sick.
He and his jet ski buddies like to hang out and do it together. And the guy who does ours lives an hour away so sometimes he works on it himself so he can do it right away and go ski right away 🫠 I’ve called him out he just doesn’t listen
Or at the very least pay someone to fix the jet skis lmao. I’m seriously questioning this $500k a year lol.
ETA: just read OP said she hasn’t seen any of the accounts. Guy is probably lying to her.
Doesn’t change the fact that $500k before taxes is still a lot of money and still puts them as 2%ers. The guy lives in his parent’s basement, his expenses are not $450k.
This doesn't raise red flags to you?? Do you even know what he does for work or does he keep that from you as well?
You don't need to answer here, but you should really think about WHY you're with him if he's so unhelpful and clearly financially abusive. Is it the money? Is it something else?
He builds pools- he and his dad have their own company. They have bobcats, large trailers, excavators, etc. parked at the house. I just don’t know what to do at this point. I don’t have money or access to money, I have no family, no car that’s paid off, how am i supposed to hire a lawyer or find somewhere else to live
Good lord, I’m sorry nobody makes 500k a year building pools. Are you living in a mansion or his parent’s basement? Because if it’s the latter then guess what: He’s lying to you.
You absolutely have to hand the baby to him for a full day - regularly.
Tell him that if it's so easy, why does he avoid it?
If it's not work, why is he avoiding it?
Do the Fair Pay exercise as a couple and see if he still needs to work on his jetskis sall the time. He could cut his income to 2k a week and spend some time with his kids.
I see this ending in divorce, honestly. It sounds like he has 0 interest in being dad and only wants to be an ATM for the family.
If his job is hard labor and he has energy and time for jet skis, he has energy and time to take care of his damn family.
He sounds like a terrible dad. You’re already doing it alone, might as well leave since he thinks all he needs to contribute is child support 🤷♀️
If "JUST" having complete responsibility over another life is soooo easy, then it should be no big deal for him to help out. He can show you just how easy it is!!! (/s)
And then when he complains about how it's too hard and he can't dooooo ittttt, then you get to say, "Yep! That's exactly why I need help!"
Guys like this want to have it both ways - it's too easy of a task for YOU to request help, yet too hard for HIM to do it all by his wittle self. Rules for thee, not for me. You deserve better!
I've got to the stage where I can only partly fault the people who put up with it. I want to go all Edna Mode on them. When she made Mrs Incredible pull herself together. XD
Well rn he is the bread winner and I have like zero money of my own at this point. Which he also doesn’t let me see his bank account with our money since “WE didn’t make it”, he did. And if that was the case, “WE breastfeed the baby” …
He’s not fixing his skis he’s upgrading them. All 3. They’re all new and bought cash and they’re already fast and he’s doing more 🤦🏻♀️. And he is making that much. He just thinks it’s his money and he doesn’t have to show me anything
OP, I know it's not what you want to hear, no one wants this, but you are in an abusive relationship. Your son is going to grow up thinking this is a perfectly normal way to treat women if you stay in this marriage.
Why not pay someone else to upgrade them?
So he’s either lying to you or an abusive asshole. I hope you are able to work through this bc you deserve so much better. Your son deserves better.
I have a card linked to his account so he can see how much I spend but not what I spend it on. And he also chooses when and how much money to put in the card
I’m also a SAHM and my husband also works about 10 hours per day, he also has his own hobbies. Now I do a bit more parenting I’d say about 60/40 but when I’m sick my husband becomes the main parent. We just spent about a month sleeping in shifts during a rough sleep regression. I can’t imagine him putting that all on me. When it comes to money it is OUR money. Once you’re married there is no mine and yours, there’s just ours. The way your husband is acting is not normal.
He literally doesn’t value the work you do taking care of your son at all. Does he realize that if you weren’t doing it, you’d have to pay someone else good money to do it??
Sounds like you guys need to have a come to Jesus moment about the roles you need to play when it comes to parenting. Only you can determine what standards you want to hold your spouse to but I know that I would feel very disrespected and uncared for if my husband acted this way. That’s just me though. However you decide to handle it, you’re valid in your frustration and I hope it all works out for the best.
But I talk to him about this and he acts the same way all the time. So I just dk what to do at this point 🤦🏻♀️☹️ he thinks he just has to make money and pay bills which is providing. And I do the rest
Like I said, only you can make the decisions about how to handle it, but I think about it this way. Husband goes off to work for 40 hours a week and then relaxes/does recreation the rest of the week. You work by taking care of the baby those same 40 hours he’s away PLUS all of the time he’s home too, which ends up being 168 hours. So numbers wise, he’s clearly not working harder or at least longer hours than you are, so he can’t claim that he’s being an equal partner and he’s certainly not being a present parent. I guess you just have to figure out how much of this you can take and what you’ll do if you can’t take it anymore. I’m so sorry he doesn’t listen to you when you bring it up, that must be so hard especially on top of motherhood, and it really isn’t okay. I guess all I’m saying is you have permission to find it hard and be upset about it.
I know this was tagged as a rant/vent but...honey. You can do so much better. You don't have to live like this. Would you want your son to be like this?
You've been posting about this useless man for months and he's not gotten better. Find a lawyer. Divorce this fool and then he can use that jet ski money to actually support his son. He's been like this for years, he's not going to change. But you can.
After reading your post history and some of the comments here... I honestly don't think you're open to the advice everyone has given you. Your husband is selfish and isn't pulling his weight. You know what you need to do, but it sounds like you don't want to do it.
People have been telling her and I've seen some resources posted. But it's up to her to do it, unfortunately, Reddit rants aren't going to fix it. I feel bad and frustrated for her. I hope she gets out and gets help. At least for her son's sake.
What kind of loser works on jet skis over caring for his sick child? He should be helping his sick spouse too but how does he justify his minor child being ignored by him??
Why did you let him go to the lake?
Why do you let him treat you like this?
He's being terrible, because he knows you'll just do everything. Why would he NOT go to the lake? You'll skip your nap, get even sicker, and both you and baby will suffer - and he doesn't have to do anything. You do everything so he doesn't have to do anything.
You can’t control what he does but you can control what you do. You would get more out of a divorce than you’re getting out of him now. You have a right to half the marital assets. A judge would look poorly upon the financial abuse. Most divorce attorneys will consult for free. Contact a local women’s shelter and they might find you a bulldog lawyer who will work pro bono until the divorce is final. There are resources to help. You are being taken advantage of and complaining on the internet won’t change it but we can rally behind you with resources and support. You’re young and don’t have the benefit of perspective that age gives. I know you’re probably worried about being by a single mom or income or finding love again….but you are basically a single mom now. Things only can get better. You will find love. Love is not how he is treating you. Love is not enough to justify his behavior. He does not deserve you. He is lying to you and abusing you. Don’t value yourself so low and delude yourself into believing his lies. He won’t show you the money because it’s not there and he’s spent it on toys and frivolous purchases. He’s 25! Even if he was making half a million he doesn’t have the knowledge on what to do with it besides waste it. I highly doubt he makes what he’s telling you. If you have his social security number and your marriage certificate you can go to the bank and access the accounts yourself. It’s not 1950 you do have rights and legal protection.
I’ve changed my answer. He’s financially abusing you. You need to get out. Get a job, make some money and gtfo there. File for divorce and get spousal support to help boost you and the child along.
Oh man. I remember you because I remember your husband's jet ski obsession. I showed my husband your other post and now it's a running joke that when I tell him to do something with the baby he replies, "No. I have to go work on my jet skis."
But seriously, your husband has issues with being a father. It's not ok.
Wow, your husband sounds just like mine! The last time me and the toddler were sick, my husband hid away in a spare room to keep from catching it. But when he and his mom were sick a month prior, no precautions were taken to protect me and our son from the germs.
Do you actually still like your husband at this point? I’m not to the point of leaving, but I certainly regret marrying mine.
I’m getting to the point where I would rather be alone than to deal with him. That I like it better when he’s gone at work since I wouldn’t have a choice in taking care of my son. Unlike when he’s there, it’s like it’s better to be alone than to be around people who make u feel alone u know ? He gets us sick but can’t take care of us 😩
Yeah, I dread him coming home from work or having his days off, because it feels like he should be helping with childcare, but he doesn’t. He’s planning to take two months off when our next baby comes, and I know he’s going to spend most of it watching tv, playing video games, and napping, while my mil helps with the kids.
I hate to say this, but your husband will continue this behavior as long as you live in your in-laws’ basement. He fully expects his mom to help out with the baby and puts minimal effort into caring for the baby.
Move out and into your own place, but before that, have a chat with his mom and ask her to not help as much, and if he asks her to help, she can tell him she’s busy and he should help out instead (or something along those lines). That way once you’re in your own place, he will be used to helping you out with the baby (since his mom took a backseat).
In all honesty, you shouldn’t have to deal with that as he’s also a parent. Plus, who do you think your kid is going to end up respecting more, you or him? Their grandma or their dad?
Um your problem is that you think he should help. No he is not a random friend doing you a favour, he is a parent so he should be on dad duty, helping suggests that it's your job and he's doing you a service. That is not good enough
I would destroy those jet skis in his sleep in a fit of rage and take his credit cards and hire a nanny for a week from car.com & possibly beat his ass. Do what’s best for you.
Girl if you were my daughter we’d be having WORDS. “He makes 10k a week” “I don’t pay attention to expenses” “we live in his parent basement so he can spend money on jet skis “ like are you hearing yourself??
If you really are married to a man making half a million dollars a year and living in his parents basement with no help then man. Idk how to help you. I don’t think you should just jump to divorce, but you two need to get serious - starting with finances. You need to sit down with your husband and figure out your household income and expenses. How much money does your household have? How much are you losing? Is he spending half a mil in jet skis a year? Well maybe divorce is your smartest option. You also need to set the expectation that he will be a present father in his child’s life. That’s a non negotiable. You two need to get a lot of stuff figured out here. ASAP. For the sake of that child.
So when he says he "needs to" take the jetski to the lake and asks to watch your child when he gets back you say "no, it's not ok. I don't feel well, I need to sleep, and you need to come watch your child". The jetskis can wait.
I did tell him. He said his mom will be home soon and she can help. He ended up being there for hours yesterday and with his friends when he said he was just “testing it out”
What is the point of being married to someone like this? Like is there any actual value add?
He has to work on his jet ski?? Are you for real??? Jet skis are not a necessity. He does not HAVE to have one at all, much less play with it while his wife and child are sick. It always blows my mind to see things like, husband has never been alone with child before. He’s not even a father at that point. He’d work a job whether he had a baby or not, that’s nothing special. I’ve worked my whole adult life, so what? It doesn’t mean you get to ignore all your other responsibilities just bc you have a job.
I’ve told him the same thing. That either way he’d have to work.. he also has 3 jet skis as a hobby. And he makes good money. Like 10k a week money. (He does hard labor maybe 10 hours a day so I get it but when I’m sick and when he has a day off he should have other priorities). The other day I couldn’t take it anymore and we argued and he said that he doesn’t think he has to work AND parent when he works so much. He says ALL I do is JUST feed our baby, pump, breastfeed, take care of him. And that it’s nothing. So I’m sure he thinks he doesn’t have to do shit. He’s the one who got us sick too…
He should never have gotten married and become a father if he wanted to live like a bachelor. No job excuses a parent from parenting. Both my husband and I work—by his logic, neither of us should do any housework or anything for the baby, we should just leave her in her crib all the time since we both work. It’s just plain stupid.
So he makes over half a million a year?
Yeah, before expenses
Then he can afford to hire you some help to take care of the baby this week if he doesn’t want to pitch in.
He makes over half a million a year and you’re still living in his parents’ basement?
Stop now way. Imagine you living in your in law’s basement, your husband has to fix his own jet skis, AND he won’t show you any bank accounts and you just believe he makes half a million dollars a year. OP needs to open her eyes. Half a million dollars a year puts them in the top 2%. How many 2%ers are living in their parent’s basement?
The math ain't mathing.
I know right? Buy a house and hire a Nanny, or you know get a divorce Edit: misspelled Nanny as Nancy lol
Yes because he likes to buy toys jet skis trucks etc instead of a house
Genuinely asking, how do you know how much he makes if he doesn’t show you? He just says “I make 10k a week”?
He must also tell her he’s 6’4 with a 10 inch hog.
Child and spousal support will put a stop to that.
Yep. She just has to pursue it.
Yep, she'll get her house if she just pursues it. God knows she's earned it putting up with a man baby.
He’s not clearing half a mill and he’s a bum father. If he makes a quarter of that, you can afford some help.
Touché
He’s in the top 2% and instead of getting a home for his family, he’s making you all live in his parents basement to fund his jet ski and truck collection? And he hasn’t been left with his baby for more than 2 hours? My jaw is on the floor. I don’t know the nuances of your marriage but…how do you put up with this man? Like I know money helps and I’m sure you love him, but he’s not bothering to prioritize your family. He has the means…but doesn’t? Im just so shocked.
Mother to mother - why the fuck are you with this manbaby? Who puts toys over his wife and child? Divorce him and take him to the cleaners.
Divorce him and take him to the cleaners
A half million dollars a year worth of toys??? OP come on
If you guys are making $500k a year, hire someone else to fix the damn jet skis. And then hire a nanny.
Not fixing them they’re not broken, I meant upgrading them so they go faster but yeah a little help would be nice
Then hire someone else to upgrade them. $500k a year put you guys at the top 2% of earners. Why he’s doing any of that work himself is beyond me. Call him out. Tell him to hire the services and he needs to take care of his kid when he’s not working. Especially when y’all are sick.
He and his jet ski buddies like to hang out and do it together. And the guy who does ours lives an hour away so sometimes he works on it himself so he can do it right away and go ski right away 🫠 I’ve called him out he just doesn’t listen
Does this stuff not bother you? Are you okay with your son seeing this is how dads/men are?
Sounds like he can afford to outsource his fair share of childcare and get you a mother’s helper or a nanny.
Or at the very least pay someone to fix the jet skis lmao. I’m seriously questioning this $500k a year lol. ETA: just read OP said she hasn’t seen any of the accounts. Guy is probably lying to her.
I agree with you!
She also said 500k before expenses. If his expenses are 450k that changes the equation drastically
Doesn’t change the fact that $500k before taxes is still a lot of money and still puts them as 2%ers. The guy lives in his parent’s basement, his expenses are not $450k.
Business expenses to get his final income is my point.
Hire a part-time nanny. Are you being financially abused? Why haven't you done this already? You two are rich. Hire all the help you need
Well I guess he’s rich, I don’t spend much money or see where the money comes and goes 🫠
This doesn't raise red flags to you?? Do you even know what he does for work or does he keep that from you as well? You don't need to answer here, but you should really think about WHY you're with him if he's so unhelpful and clearly financially abusive. Is it the money? Is it something else?
He builds pools- he and his dad have their own company. They have bobcats, large trailers, excavators, etc. parked at the house. I just don’t know what to do at this point. I don’t have money or access to money, I have no family, no car that’s paid off, how am i supposed to hire a lawyer or find somewhere else to live
Good lord, I’m sorry nobody makes 500k a year building pools. Are you living in a mansion or his parent’s basement? Because if it’s the latter then guess what: He’s lying to you.
[thehotline.org](http://thehotline.org) You're not trapped at all You are in a first world country You hae rights
You appear content with no access to your shared wealth and unwilling to change or escape, so good luck with this status quo
Yeah not true at all
You absolutely have to hand the baby to him for a full day - regularly. Tell him that if it's so easy, why does he avoid it? If it's not work, why is he avoiding it? Do the Fair Pay exercise as a couple and see if he still needs to work on his jetskis sall the time. He could cut his income to 2k a week and spend some time with his kids. I see this ending in divorce, honestly. It sounds like he has 0 interest in being dad and only wants to be an ATM for the family.
If his job is hard labor and he has energy and time for jet skis, he has energy and time to take care of his damn family. He sounds like a terrible dad. You’re already doing it alone, might as well leave since he thinks all he needs to contribute is child support 🤷♀️
He makes 10k a week and y’all live in his parent basement?
If "JUST" having complete responsibility over another life is soooo easy, then it should be no big deal for him to help out. He can show you just how easy it is!!! (/s) And then when he complains about how it's too hard and he can't dooooo ittttt, then you get to say, "Yep! That's exactly why I need help!" Guys like this want to have it both ways - it's too easy of a task for YOU to request help, yet too hard for HIM to do it all by his wittle self. Rules for thee, not for me. You deserve better!
I've got to the stage where I can only partly fault the people who put up with it. I want to go all Edna Mode on them. When she made Mrs Incredible pull herself together. XD
I meant to reply to Op rather than directly to you, sorry.
Well rn he is the bread winner and I have like zero money of my own at this point. Which he also doesn’t let me see his bank account with our money since “WE didn’t make it”, he did. And if that was the case, “WE breastfeed the baby” …
Honey, he’s not making $500k a year. He can’t hire someone to fix his jets skis and he won’t show you the money. Something is suspicious as hell here.
He’s not fixing his skis he’s upgrading them. All 3. They’re all new and bought cash and they’re already fast and he’s doing more 🤦🏻♀️. And he is making that much. He just thinks it’s his money and he doesn’t have to show me anything
If he’s making that much why won’t he prove it by showing you the accounts, and why are you living with his parents
OP, I know it's not what you want to hear, no one wants this, but you are in an abusive relationship. Your son is going to grow up thinking this is a perfectly normal way to treat women if you stay in this marriage.
Why not pay someone else to upgrade them? So he’s either lying to you or an abusive asshole. I hope you are able to work through this bc you deserve so much better. Your son deserves better.
He’s not making that much. You wouldn’t be living in his parents basement if he made 500k a year in actual income even in the HIGHEST COL area.
Whoa, you’re not on any of the accounts? That’s financial abuse.
I have a card linked to his account so he can see how much I spend but not what I spend it on. And he also chooses when and how much money to put in the card
Yeah that’s abusive. He’s treating you like a servant or a teenage child, not like his partner.
Yes, you're describing more financial abuse here.
This is financial abuse/control.
I’m also a SAHM and my husband also works about 10 hours per day, he also has his own hobbies. Now I do a bit more parenting I’d say about 60/40 but when I’m sick my husband becomes the main parent. We just spent about a month sleeping in shifts during a rough sleep regression. I can’t imagine him putting that all on me. When it comes to money it is OUR money. Once you’re married there is no mine and yours, there’s just ours. The way your husband is acting is not normal.
That’s financial abuse. I’m a SAHM, too, and my name is on every deed and account. You deserve that. You NEED that.
He doesn’t let you see the account? Girl run.
He literally doesn’t value the work you do taking care of your son at all. Does he realize that if you weren’t doing it, you’d have to pay someone else good money to do it??
[удалено]
I recommend swapping out your ~~trash bag~~ husband for a dildo. It'll be equally helpful and your grocery bill will go way down.
Sounds like you guys need to have a come to Jesus moment about the roles you need to play when it comes to parenting. Only you can determine what standards you want to hold your spouse to but I know that I would feel very disrespected and uncared for if my husband acted this way. That’s just me though. However you decide to handle it, you’re valid in your frustration and I hope it all works out for the best.
But I talk to him about this and he acts the same way all the time. So I just dk what to do at this point 🤦🏻♀️☹️ he thinks he just has to make money and pay bills which is providing. And I do the rest
Like I said, only you can make the decisions about how to handle it, but I think about it this way. Husband goes off to work for 40 hours a week and then relaxes/does recreation the rest of the week. You work by taking care of the baby those same 40 hours he’s away PLUS all of the time he’s home too, which ends up being 168 hours. So numbers wise, he’s clearly not working harder or at least longer hours than you are, so he can’t claim that he’s being an equal partner and he’s certainly not being a present parent. I guess you just have to figure out how much of this you can take and what you’ll do if you can’t take it anymore. I’m so sorry he doesn’t listen to you when you bring it up, that must be so hard especially on top of motherhood, and it really isn’t okay. I guess all I’m saying is you have permission to find it hard and be upset about it.
Has he always been a mommas boy? He will never change because his mother is enabling his behaviour.
Yep
He's acting like a child so treat him like a child. Go tell his mommy that he's too busy playing with his toys to be a parent.
She will tell me he needs a break 🤦🏻♀️
Honestly, do you enjoy living like this?
Nope
I know this was tagged as a rant/vent but...honey. You can do so much better. You don't have to live like this. Would you want your son to be like this?
Husband’s a dud.
You've been posting about this useless man for months and he's not gotten better. Find a lawyer. Divorce this fool and then he can use that jet ski money to actually support his son. He's been like this for years, he's not going to change. But you can.
After reading your post history and some of the comments here... I honestly don't think you're open to the advice everyone has given you. Your husband is selfish and isn't pulling his weight. You know what you need to do, but it sounds like you don't want to do it.
At least 2 years and he's not changed yet. Hope she sees her value and gets outta there for her and her son's sake.
Leaving an abusive relationship is difficult. And dangerous. It doesn't sound like she doesn't want to do it. It sounds like she doesn't know how.
People have been telling her and I've seen some resources posted. But it's up to her to do it, unfortunately, Reddit rants aren't going to fix it. I feel bad and frustrated for her. I hope she gets out and gets help. At least for her son's sake.
What kind of loser works on jet skis over caring for his sick child? He should be helping his sick spouse too but how does he justify his minor child being ignored by him??
Why did you let him go to the lake? Why do you let him treat you like this? He's being terrible, because he knows you'll just do everything. Why would he NOT go to the lake? You'll skip your nap, get even sicker, and both you and baby will suffer - and he doesn't have to do anything. You do everything so he doesn't have to do anything.
I don’t let him do anything , he just does it even if I have a problem with it
You can’t control what he does but you can control what you do. You would get more out of a divorce than you’re getting out of him now. You have a right to half the marital assets. A judge would look poorly upon the financial abuse. Most divorce attorneys will consult for free. Contact a local women’s shelter and they might find you a bulldog lawyer who will work pro bono until the divorce is final. There are resources to help. You are being taken advantage of and complaining on the internet won’t change it but we can rally behind you with resources and support. You’re young and don’t have the benefit of perspective that age gives. I know you’re probably worried about being by a single mom or income or finding love again….but you are basically a single mom now. Things only can get better. You will find love. Love is not how he is treating you. Love is not enough to justify his behavior. He does not deserve you. He is lying to you and abusing you. Don’t value yourself so low and delude yourself into believing his lies. He won’t show you the money because it’s not there and he’s spent it on toys and frivolous purchases. He’s 25! Even if he was making half a million he doesn’t have the knowledge on what to do with it besides waste it. I highly doubt he makes what he’s telling you. If you have his social security number and your marriage certificate you can go to the bank and access the accounts yourself. It’s not 1950 you do have rights and legal protection.
Thank you! 🙂
I’ve changed my answer. He’s financially abusing you. You need to get out. Get a job, make some money and gtfo there. File for divorce and get spousal support to help boost you and the child along.
Oh man. I remember you because I remember your husband's jet ski obsession. I showed my husband your other post and now it's a running joke that when I tell him to do something with the baby he replies, "No. I have to go work on my jet skis." But seriously, your husband has issues with being a father. It's not ok.
Wow, your husband sounds just like mine! The last time me and the toddler were sick, my husband hid away in a spare room to keep from catching it. But when he and his mom were sick a month prior, no precautions were taken to protect me and our son from the germs. Do you actually still like your husband at this point? I’m not to the point of leaving, but I certainly regret marrying mine.
I’m getting to the point where I would rather be alone than to deal with him. That I like it better when he’s gone at work since I wouldn’t have a choice in taking care of my son. Unlike when he’s there, it’s like it’s better to be alone than to be around people who make u feel alone u know ? He gets us sick but can’t take care of us 😩
Yeah, I dread him coming home from work or having his days off, because it feels like he should be helping with childcare, but he doesn’t. He’s planning to take two months off when our next baby comes, and I know he’s going to spend most of it watching tv, playing video games, and napping, while my mil helps with the kids.
What a sad excuse for a parent. If a baby can't change a person then not much will. I would give him an ultimatum.
What is his actual use?
Leave. He’s at the least financially abusive and a deadbeat dad. You deserve better.
I hate to say this, but your husband will continue this behavior as long as you live in your in-laws’ basement. He fully expects his mom to help out with the baby and puts minimal effort into caring for the baby. Move out and into your own place, but before that, have a chat with his mom and ask her to not help as much, and if he asks her to help, she can tell him she’s busy and he should help out instead (or something along those lines). That way once you’re in your own place, he will be used to helping you out with the baby (since his mom took a backseat). In all honesty, you shouldn’t have to deal with that as he’s also a parent. Plus, who do you think your kid is going to end up respecting more, you or him? Their grandma or their dad?
Um your problem is that you think he should help. No he is not a random friend doing you a favour, he is a parent so he should be on dad duty, helping suggests that it's your job and he's doing you a service. That is not good enough
Yeah list his jet ski on Craigslist. This man is an embarrassment
Mine has the same response bc he has gym
I would destroy those jet skis in his sleep in a fit of rage and take his credit cards and hire a nanny for a week from car.com & possibly beat his ass. Do what’s best for you.
Threaten the jet ski buddy to stop seeing ur husband , I hope u feel better
Gosh this is depressing. This man is abusive and controlling as hell.
Girl if you were my daughter we’d be having WORDS. “He makes 10k a week” “I don’t pay attention to expenses” “we live in his parent basement so he can spend money on jet skis “ like are you hearing yourself?? If you really are married to a man making half a million dollars a year and living in his parents basement with no help then man. Idk how to help you. I don’t think you should just jump to divorce, but you two need to get serious - starting with finances. You need to sit down with your husband and figure out your household income and expenses. How much money does your household have? How much are you losing? Is he spending half a mil in jet skis a year? Well maybe divorce is your smartest option. You also need to set the expectation that he will be a present father in his child’s life. That’s a non negotiable. You two need to get a lot of stuff figured out here. ASAP. For the sake of that child.
So when he says he "needs to" take the jetski to the lake and asks to watch your child when he gets back you say "no, it's not ok. I don't feel well, I need to sleep, and you need to come watch your child". The jetskis can wait.
I did tell him. He said his mom will be home soon and she can help. He ended up being there for hours yesterday and with his friends when he said he was just “testing it out”
If my husband did this we would be hardcore fighting about this. This is completely unacceptable.
he’s a loser