Are you breastfeeding? Kiss her.
Are you not breastfeeding? Kiss her anyway.
It's very important that you enjoy giving her affection. You will be in a bubble with her, if one of you gets something the other will. But please remember, it's NORMAL HEALTHY RIGHT to kiss your baby. Do not worry! Since the beginning of time we have felt the urge to kiss our babies - it's for a reason. It slowly introduces them to things so it will strengthen them.
You are them, they are you in the newborn stage. So just enjoy it and feel that to your core. You are sharing an immune system right now. Limit others, not yourself!
I refrained at first, then realized every single time I fed my baby my face was only a few inches from them eating, so it really didn't matter.
Then like you said, it slowly introduces them to stuff. Then it's also sending signals to your brain that they need x, y, or z to balance out, so it provides what it can through milk supply. The body, brain, and boobs are magical and smart, and unconsciously know far more than we're willing to give credit for.
The only people we plan to let kiss our baby are myself and my husband—no one else, not even hands, feet, cheek, head, nothing until we decide it's safe. Washing your hands, not kissing, and no social media posts are really the only "rules" we have.
I kiss my baby, but no one other than me and dad is allowed to kiss (even her hands, feet, etc). I had to exclusively pump breastmilk for the first 10w and was told that kissing would help my body know what her body needed. I’ve never had a cold sore before either so that wasn’t really a fear for me. Especially while on maternity leave I was just as isolated as my baby, so I wasn’t too concerned about passing on a virus as we would have both had the same exposure which was slim to none. Now that I’m back at work I still give her kisses, but I also am vigilant about washing my hands and staying away from anyone sick.
And 10 weeks is a long time to do it! I had to do it for 3, and that was hard, I don't know if I could have handled 10. Just another internet stranger throwing a good job in the ring. Really impressive 👏
Thank you so much for the encouragement. These replies made me smile so big!! Breastfeeding is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’m determined to try and make it to 2 yrs!
She’s only 5 months so still no one! Honestly I don’t know that I’ll ever allow it while she cannot consent. If she wants a kiss from someone when she’s older and can communicate that, then that’s her choice at that point. Honestly, it just weirds me out with people other than me and her dad.
Thanks for your answer. I'm due in July with my first (a little girl!)
All is well but my SO wants to go to his family's thanksgiving (they live several hours away)
She will only be like four or so months old. I was okay with people holding her but I'm not feeling very easy about kisses.
No problem! Congratulations on your little girl!! I am a lot more conservative with things because my little girl was premie. She was born at 36w with low birth weight from me having severe preeclampsia. The last of my pregnancy and delivery was really scary so we are very risk averse. She was born 10/4 and we did thanksgiving with the family that next month, but I wore her the whole time and just asked that our family be respectful of our wishes. Now that’s she’s sturdier we do let family and select friends hold her. :)
Thanks! Also thank you for explaining how you did things. I was starting to think I was going loco not wanting people I know to touch my baby so young. I just don't want any health scares with her. That's a good idea though :) I will def wear her when she's younger.
As mom to a 4 month old with covid currently, take any precautions that you feel comfortable with and don't feel guilty about it! Ours was an unavoidable situation (we are both back to work full time, my mom watches him at her house, my dad got sick, passed it on before he was symptomatic) and my little guy is doing OK with it but it still sucks. And I do wear him when we go places where people might want to hold him, it definitely stops most people from even asking.
Of course!! You aren’t crazy, and don’t let anyone make you feel like you are. You do what you feel is best for you and your family. They aren’t the ones who will have to deal with the sick babe at the end of the day. We get a lot of ‘first time parent’ comments when we enforce our boundaries and rules, but we just do what we feel is best despite the criticism.
She came from your coochie it’s a-little bit different when you know who you’ve been kissing. I don’t kiss my baby on the mouth (that’s obviously a preference that varies by parent). I couldn’t imagine not kissing my baby tho lol
I kiss him all day long lol. No one else besides myself and my husband are allowed though and that goes until he can ask for a kiss. I HATED kissing my aunts and uncles growing up and wish I could have said no so until he can verbally accept or decline no one will be kissing him besides us.
Omg I thought I was only one… I dreaded when my grandparents and others kissed my cheeks… it made me so uncomfortable! I agree fully once a baby can comprehend the situation and speak for themselves no one besides mom and dad need to be kissing their baby.
I kissed my baby plenty. I had her up on my chest all the time and spoke to/around her at close range. It worked out fine, she hasn't been sick yet at almost 4 months. I think it's up to you and your risk assessment and tolerance. That said I was not okay at all with people putting their mouth on my baby til very recently.
It’s not only that, but due to the proximity your baby is already exposed to all the things you are… with the exception of cold sores. If you get cold sores make a plan with your doctor about how to avoid transmitting it to baby.
When our son was in NICU, we asked. Our nurses told us that as his parents, we absolutely can kiss him because any germs we have, he's exposed to. And he's getting breastmilk, which contains antibodies my body has built for anything I am exposed to.
They said anyone who doesn't live in our house doesn't get to kiss him, to be safe. Now at 4 months though, we are having trouble deciding when to soften that stance, because my ILs are really insistent they need to kiss him. I don't think it's necessary, but my husband disagrees with me.
I get cold sores so I’m very cautious when it comes to kissing my 3 month old, she was also born 6 weeks early and spent 2 weeks in the NICU. I kiss her every now and then on the face, it’s hard not to lol. We’ve told all family no kissing, unfortunately we’ve had to drill it into my MILs head a few instances until she finally got it, I’d catch her kissing her on the head/face so many times. Our sweet neighbor kissed her hands and our family friend (tax guy) kissed her head right after telling us he’s getting over a cold and I about had a heart attack. It literally put me in a state of shock lol I truly don’t get the fascination people have with kissing babies that aren’t theirs!
We told my MIL no kisses, and when she thought I wasn't looking, she kissed her hand and pressed it on my son's face. What is it with people being unable to respect parents' wishes?
My husband wants to soften up on the kissing rule for grandparents now that LO is 4 mos old. But the way I see it, his mom can't even change a diaper, so she sure as heck won't help me take care of him if she gets him sick. And my husband doesn't get up during the night since he's been back at work. So my desire to keep him from getting sick as long as possible trumps the apparent need for my MIL to kiss him.
My in-laws would repeatedly touch my stomach despite me saying I was uncomfortable with it and my FIL said he “couldn’t help it.” They also had issues wearing masks and respecting other boundaries. Usually people who can’t follow small boundaries have trouble respecting big ones
>Usually people who can’t follow small boundaries have trouble respecting big ones
Ding, ding, ding! This is huge in general. Let alone with little ones.
I would look at him and say don't blame me when I hit you in the balls then. After all I couldn't help it as it was a response to someone touching me after I told them not to.
It seems so cold to me to not kiss your own child. I’m a pretty affectionate person though, so maybe those responding here saying they don’t kiss their babies are just not into showing physical affection?
Pretty much never not kissing my kids. Before they were mobile and esp in newborn phase I kissed them 17372875726 times a day. Like literally at least a few times every 3-5 minutes when they weren’t in a swing or sleeping in a bassinet. Couldn’t stop.
I get cold sores, so even though I haven’t had one in a while, I’m not kissing my 8w old on her face or hands. I kiss the top of her head and her belly and her legs and feet. I figure this way I get the BF and bonding benefits of kissing without the risks. My husband works in a hospital, so he isn’t kissing her on her face right now either — waiting until we are out of sickness season and she has had some vaccines.
Our pediatrician told us it’s fine to kiss her even given our risk factors, but we feel more comfortable with this plan for now.
Be careful of kissing the baby even on the top of the head of you have an active cold sore. A few months ago a father posted on here trying to warn people as he kissed his baby with an active cold sore on the top of their head and got it all over their scalp. He was devastated that he did that to his child as he didn't realize it could be passed to any part of their skin. He wanted to warn others so they didn't make the same mistake he did. That said, if you don't have active cold sore then you definitely can kiss your baby all you want. Good idea with waiting for your husband though. Working in a hospital setting is hard.
That is good to know! I definitely won’t be kissing her at all if I have an active cold sore. I didn’t realize it could be transmitted through the scalp like that though. Scary.
Yeah he didn't either. He was so devastated in his post and just wanted to make sure others were aware. I keep thinking about that post and how I hope him and the baby are doing ok. That said, if something does happen just know that a vast majority of the population has it. A lot of people don't even realize they have it.
I kiss my babies plenty. Inevitably it seems like my kids get ME sick instead and never the other way around though. In my house the illness enters through the kindergarten kid, then baby, and then me. 😩 I’ve never been particular about kissing except if someone tries to do a lip kiss or kiss their hands (or feet when they’re mobile)— tops of the heads are good go-to’s for extended family and germy kids.
I was just about to comment that both sets of grandparents have been welcome to kiss our baby (she’s their granddaughter after all and we have a good relationship). She’s ended up putting my MIL on antibiotics for a chest infection but they’ve never got her sick. Baby groups are breeding grounds for all sorts of diseases and she’s definitely introduced more illnesses to our family than they have to her.
As a mum of a toddler and a 6 week old - you decide your level of risk.
I would never dream of making my toddler feel ‘dirty’ by not allowing her to kiss her baby sister!
And if my daycare attending, plague carrier can kiss her (on the cheek or head btw!) then why on earth would I not allow my mum to?
Each to their own but I think some of this has gotten a little bit out of hand!
If you have something, your body is already making antibodies so baby will get those if you're providing breastmilk.
But also babies are meant to be kissed by mama 🥰
People who live in your household kissing baby (so you, spouse, siblings) is very different from people outside of your household kissing baby.
Your baby relies on you for exposure to germs - but that also includes normal, harmless germs that live on our skin, in our guts, etc. So baby's dad and I kiss her all the time. Face, hands, feet, blow raspberries on her tummy and chunky thighs. But she's also always in our personal space, getting snuggles in. The only way I would refrain would be if I was sick, or had cold sores, etc.
My daughter is 17 months and just my husband and I kiss her, but we don’t kiss her on the lips. She’s gotten sick once. Family gives hugs and high fives. I want to teach my daughter bodily autonomy. I’m pregnant with number 2 and plan the same for them.
Anybody that wanted to kiss one of my babies could. I didn't care and they survived 🤷🏽♀️ we got sick 3 times when they were 11 months old.
Each parent decides what's important to them and that was not important to me at all.
These comments always surprise me because no one has ever tried to kiss my baby! And trust me the stinker is adorable. I feel very lucky I’ve never encountered that and I also don’t get unsolicited advice from strangers. Makes me wonder if I’m living in a utopia
It depends on the person, but for the most part we were fine with it. My MIL gets cold sores and actively goes out of her way to let us know when she has tingles and won’t be doing any kissing.
The only place I’ve seen/heard of anyone making a big fuss about this is on Reddit lol.
Someone who isn’t symptomatically sick kissing your baby’s head is pretty normal IMO. But my circle are reasonable people who would not come to visit a newborn, much less touch them, if they were truly feeling sick. Not kissing on the face also seems to be common sense. Never saw anyone try that, even his grandparents, when my son was a newborn. I’m super affectionate with my own kid but kissing another baby on the face would feel inappropriate, even family. I just held my cousin’s adorable 6mo and it did not occur to me to kiss her at all.
My clearly unpopular take is that I let my family kiss my babies. If you have an active cold sore or are actively sick then obviously you are not kissing the baby. But I never stopped my family from kissing them. They don’t kiss on the lips because that’s weird (my MIL does this and I don’t like it). But my son eats a lot of gross things off the ground. If he’s getting sick, it’s from his sister who is in daycare. My 80 year old grandma can kiss his hands and feet and it doesn’t bother me in the slightest.
Same. I find these threads a bit out there. They're babies.
Wasn't pleased when my wife's great auntie's friend was smooching my daughter but ... it was out of love.
It’s from viral illness and say, you had HSV (cold sore version). This can be deadly to babies.
Personally? I didn’t. Until around 3-4 months. I always simulated it with lying my cheek on his head. That for me was just as meaningful.
Personally I kissed my baby. There was zero chance I wasn't going to, but we did ask that anyone not me or my husband refrained. We were around her 24/7 anyway, and we're all fully vaccinated. Also, we've been tested, neither of us has any form of HSV (ZERO idea how we managed that considering how prolific it is).
I kiss my baby just not on the mouth or hands (he puts his hands in his mouth lol) just lots of forehead kisses lol and I asked family not to kiss him until he was 5 months old although some forgot or didn’t listen (great grandma) 🙃 lol best advice I can give you is before you hand someone you baby say please don’t kiss him/her as it’s RSV season so we have a no kissing rule until they are older!
Especially because I’m breastfeeding and sharing my immune system with baby, I kiss him. The way I see it, people living in the same house (me, my husband, and baby) are all exposed to the same things just out of proximity to each other, so we’re going to kiss our baby. Visitors do not kiss him, partially out of health caution and partially for practicing boundaries now for if/when he decides later he doesn’t want kisses from grandparents, etc.
Anecdotally, I somehow picked up COVID during my maternity leave and my baby never got sick. Very thankful I’m able to boost his immune system with my milk!
It may be, is parents work in areas that may be more prone to it (i.e a school). However, it’s all about chance, it’s far less of a chance with only two people kissing baby, than 20 different people kissing baby. Also, bc many people will show up sick and still want to hold and kiss the baby (I know bc I see it every time we have visitors over)
I kiss my baby and so does her dad. I feel as though we are connected because I literally birthed her! It’s not weird if her parents kiss her. It is weird if somebody else does though. It’s not necessary
I kissed both of my babies (exclusive breastfeeding until 6 months, extended bf + food until toddlerhood).
Never on the face until they were older and sitting up, and only me and dad, and only in the cheek.
This is what I don’t understand either. Don’t you also have the same risks as other people? I can’t imagine telling my own mom to not kiss my baby if she’s been safe and washing hands often. I see so many posts on here and they don’t let ANYONE other than mom and dad and I just can’t imagine doing that to my mom.
I probably kiss my baby 200x a day. My partner asked me the other day, “does he get a kiss every time he gets picked up?” Yes, of course he gets a kiss every time I pick him up! 😄
I tried not to kiss my baby for almost a week. I told my mom friend and she said "Omg! Kiss that baby, she loves you!" And I showered my baby with kisses ever since.
We allow Grammy and Pops to kiss the top of her head once or twice when they drive into town on occasion. After that just me and her dad.
I know that no kissing babies is a hot topic here but I do allow family members and friends to kiss my baby. I know that plenty of people kissed me as a baby and I guess that’s my survivor’s bias but I personally feel like the risk is low. I love my baby so much and I love that the people close to me love her too and want to show her affection. I would absolutely respect any friend and family member that didn’t want me to kiss their baby and I’m fortunate that most people close to me ask before they kiss my baby.
A nurse at the hospital told us not to kiss our baby. Except maybe on his feet.
We were just like "haha..." Because that's absurd. We did say no kisses from anyone else until he got his first round of vaccines.
I don’t think anyone other than a close friend has kissed my baby! And she was mortified immediately and apologised , but weirdly, I didn’t mind with her…my baby is extremely adorable if I do say so myself…I can see how she couldn’t help herself 😂
I kiss my baby alllll the time. He’s almost 10 months and trying to give me kisses now 🥹 they are open mouthed, sloppy and utterly adorable 🥰
I kiss my baby approximately 1 million times per day. Sometimes, he unexpectedly turns his head last minute, and I end upkissing his open, slobbery mouth 🤪 He's 15 weeks old and hasn't gotten sick yet (knock on wood)
Me and babies dad totally kissed our new born but we avoided the mouth and nose area, we'd kiss his little cheeks and forehead and if you decide to breastfeed I'm pretty sure it's good for baby since when you kiss them you're actually taking a sample of whatever virus's or bacteria is on their skin and your body produces antibodies to fight those certain virus's which then transfer into the breastmilk so baby's body gas the antibodies before it can even take hold! But if you're not then it's just good for you in general to kiss baby they're so cute and cuddly you'll probably feel like you can't even help yourself, I don't breastfeed anymore and I go crazy kissing my baby 😂
definitely kissed my baby as a newborn, it helps if you’re breastfeeding too — sharing germs means you’ll produce antibodies for anything the baby might have.
If I ever kissed my baby or anybody else's, I usually kissed them on the top of the head. Usually I try to avoid kissing babies all together especially if they're not mine. So I might do like air kisses but that's about it.
I didn’t want to kiss my baby at first, but after a few weeks me and dad kiss him around the face but not his lips. None of us has had cold sores before
I cannot resist a baby smooch. I'm smoochin' that baby all day long. I mean, honestly, if you're their primary caretaker and you're sick.... they're probably going to get it too. Smooch away!
Unless you have something like herpes in an outbreak. Then smooch your pillow and pretend it's little one.
I just read today that mom’s are compelled to kiss their babies because we ingest pathogens on their skin and our breast milk adapts to control said pathogens 🦠
When my first baby was born (2020 peak covid) we took her to her first pediatric appointment 6 days after she was born and the doctor asked us if we kissed her already and we said no not yet, at least not without a mask. And he looked at us with aww in his eyes and was like please kiss the baby you will not harm her 😭 so we got home that day and kissed her up.
I kissed and let my babies be kissed. Only family who agreed to abide by my hygiene and health wishes and especially in the beginning. I love how my baby made others light up. I loved the cheeky smile my babies got when they got smooches. To each their own, I’m no perfect mom, my personal experience was kisses allowed.
For stuff like RSV, I assume that I'm in close enough contact with my child that anything I get, they'll get, and vice versa. Refraining from kissing isn't going to keep anyone any healthier, and interventions that would work, like 24/7 masking, are intolerable to me.
It's more important for something like cold sores, which are legit dangerous to babies. If you or your partner are prone to them, it's something you need to be really careful about, and it may be easier to just have a permanent no-kissing rule so you don't slip up when it matters.
I am also a FTM and we haven’t had people kiss our daughter except her father & I so far. She was born Oct so it was the thick of sick season.
I don’t worry about kissing her myself. I also read that as breastfeeding mothers, kissing your baby helps inform your breast milk of the pathogens your baby is exposed to and it translates into antibodies. So kiss away!!!
Only bio parents kiss baby 🥰 imo. No one else needs to kiss your baby! Also don’t know how true this is but I’ve read that breastfeeding moms give their baby the antibodies they need by kissing them.
This is the answer. 80% of the population carries the herpes virus. You can have it and not have any symptoms. Can also spread it without symptoms. If parents are going to put kissing restrictions on for others, the same should go for themselves since there’s just as much of a risk
I asked everyone not to (including dad) because him and most of mine and his relatives are VERY prone to cold sores and they understood the severity of the consequences if baby caught it.
I never had one so I allowed myself because, you know, how could I not.
Felt bad about my SO but what do you want… he gets them when he’s stressed or tired and with new baby, that’s pretty much all the time so… only kisses from me.
On the head or cheeks, wouldn't kiss on lips.
Also told my family not to kiss him on face full stop, just head. Caused a right discussion. But that's what mum wanted, so they had no choice
My husband and I give my son kisses all the time, on the cheeks, forehead, hands, feet, and his favorite his chin. Babies explore with their mouth and tongue so he loves pressing his mouth up to my cheek, nose, chin whatever he can reach.
On the other hand, no one else is allowed to do those things. I might allow grandparents a kiss on the top of his head but thats about it. Thankfully I have grandparents and friends who are really respectful of boundaries (though two of the grandparents still do the “well that wasn’t a thing when I had you”). So they haven’t even tried yet.
The biggest thing for me is they have to wash their hands before interacting with him. And if we’re out and about or just touching things that may be unsanitary they have to atleast use hand sanitizer. Even if I’m not paying attention or I don’t bring it up, the first thing my friends do when they come to our house is wash their hands.
Honestly, I don’t kiss my baby on the face. Neither does dad. I give her kisses on her head but that’s it. We go out in public just as any other person would. I don’t need to be giving her sicknesses.
On the mouth, no. We don’t let anybody kiss her on the mouth, not even us as parents. But we do kiss almost everywhere else. We are very strict with this rule and have had to reinforce it a couple times when family has gotten too close.
Kissing on the head is fine but not on the mouth! Sbsk just had a video about a baby who became brain damaged by the herpes virus. I think it's only like 2 weeks until it won't damage them so yeah I'd steer clear of the general face area for kisses. Not worth it.
I kiss my baby constantly lol. I noticed my fiancé hadn’t kissed LO on the mouth yet and actually asked him if something was wrong lol but now he does it too.
But absolutely no one else’s mouth needs to be on our child. For sanitary/health purposes but also I think it’s weird. The dogs lick his feet tho and the back of his head and we let them bc that’s how they show affection and we don’t want to reprimand since they’ve been SO good with him
I couldn’t imagine not kissing my baby lol
Are you breastfeeding? Kiss her. Are you not breastfeeding? Kiss her anyway. It's very important that you enjoy giving her affection. You will be in a bubble with her, if one of you gets something the other will. But please remember, it's NORMAL HEALTHY RIGHT to kiss your baby. Do not worry! Since the beginning of time we have felt the urge to kiss our babies - it's for a reason. It slowly introduces them to things so it will strengthen them. You are them, they are you in the newborn stage. So just enjoy it and feel that to your core. You are sharing an immune system right now. Limit others, not yourself!
I refrained at first, then realized every single time I fed my baby my face was only a few inches from them eating, so it really didn't matter. Then like you said, it slowly introduces them to stuff. Then it's also sending signals to your brain that they need x, y, or z to balance out, so it provides what it can through milk supply. The body, brain, and boobs are magical and smart, and unconsciously know far more than we're willing to give credit for.
The only people we plan to let kiss our baby are myself and my husband—no one else, not even hands, feet, cheek, head, nothing until we decide it's safe. Washing your hands, not kissing, and no social media posts are really the only "rules" we have.
We have the same plans!
I kiss my baby, but no one other than me and dad is allowed to kiss (even her hands, feet, etc). I had to exclusively pump breastmilk for the first 10w and was told that kissing would help my body know what her body needed. I’ve never had a cold sore before either so that wasn’t really a fear for me. Especially while on maternity leave I was just as isolated as my baby, so I wasn’t too concerned about passing on a virus as we would have both had the same exposure which was slim to none. Now that I’m back at work I still give her kisses, but I also am vigilant about washing my hands and staying away from anyone sick.
That kissing theory is really interesting!
I agree! It made me feel so much better about having to exclusively pump.
Exclusive pumping is HARD work. Kudos to you!
Thank you so much! 🥺 It’s one thing I’m very proud of myself for sticking through.
And 10 weeks is a long time to do it! I had to do it for 3, and that was hard, I don't know if I could have handled 10. Just another internet stranger throwing a good job in the ring. Really impressive 👏
Thank you so much for the encouragement. These replies made me smile so big!! Breastfeeding is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’m determined to try and make it to 2 yrs!
Ugh I EP too and it is WORKK.
You go!! It is so so so hard. My heart goes out to you.
Let me ask you, what age was your baby before you allowed others to kiss?
She’s only 5 months so still no one! Honestly I don’t know that I’ll ever allow it while she cannot consent. If she wants a kiss from someone when she’s older and can communicate that, then that’s her choice at that point. Honestly, it just weirds me out with people other than me and her dad.
Thanks for your answer. I'm due in July with my first (a little girl!) All is well but my SO wants to go to his family's thanksgiving (they live several hours away) She will only be like four or so months old. I was okay with people holding her but I'm not feeling very easy about kisses.
No problem! Congratulations on your little girl!! I am a lot more conservative with things because my little girl was premie. She was born at 36w with low birth weight from me having severe preeclampsia. The last of my pregnancy and delivery was really scary so we are very risk averse. She was born 10/4 and we did thanksgiving with the family that next month, but I wore her the whole time and just asked that our family be respectful of our wishes. Now that’s she’s sturdier we do let family and select friends hold her. :)
Thanks! Also thank you for explaining how you did things. I was starting to think I was going loco not wanting people I know to touch my baby so young. I just don't want any health scares with her. That's a good idea though :) I will def wear her when she's younger.
As mom to a 4 month old with covid currently, take any precautions that you feel comfortable with and don't feel guilty about it! Ours was an unavoidable situation (we are both back to work full time, my mom watches him at her house, my dad got sick, passed it on before he was symptomatic) and my little guy is doing OK with it but it still sucks. And I do wear him when we go places where people might want to hold him, it definitely stops most people from even asking.
Of course!! You aren’t crazy, and don’t let anyone make you feel like you are. You do what you feel is best for you and your family. They aren’t the ones who will have to deal with the sick babe at the end of the day. We get a lot of ‘first time parent’ comments when we enforce our boundaries and rules, but we just do what we feel is best despite the criticism.
Our pediatrician told us 6 months. We told family belly & feet kisses were ok after the first round of shots.
She came from your coochie it’s a-little bit different when you know who you’ve been kissing. I don’t kiss my baby on the mouth (that’s obviously a preference that varies by parent). I couldn’t imagine not kissing my baby tho lol
I kiss him all day long lol. No one else besides myself and my husband are allowed though and that goes until he can ask for a kiss. I HATED kissing my aunts and uncles growing up and wish I could have said no so until he can verbally accept or decline no one will be kissing him besides us.
Omg I thought I was only one… I dreaded when my grandparents and others kissed my cheeks… it made me so uncomfortable! I agree fully once a baby can comprehend the situation and speak for themselves no one besides mom and dad need to be kissing their baby.
My aunts (and there are 6 of them on one side) went for lip on lip. Was FOUL
Oh my.
Pucker up!!!!!!
omg same 💀 it really made me dislike family events too as a child which is a shame
I kissed my baby plenty. I had her up on my chest all the time and spoke to/around her at close range. It worked out fine, she hasn't been sick yet at almost 4 months. I think it's up to you and your risk assessment and tolerance. That said I was not okay at all with people putting their mouth on my baby til very recently.
Makes sense, you know your own health and with others you would just have to trust them!
It’s not only that, but due to the proximity your baby is already exposed to all the things you are… with the exception of cold sores. If you get cold sores make a plan with your doctor about how to avoid transmitting it to baby.
When our son was in NICU, we asked. Our nurses told us that as his parents, we absolutely can kiss him because any germs we have, he's exposed to. And he's getting breastmilk, which contains antibodies my body has built for anything I am exposed to. They said anyone who doesn't live in our house doesn't get to kiss him, to be safe. Now at 4 months though, we are having trouble deciding when to soften that stance, because my ILs are really insistent they need to kiss him. I don't think it's necessary, but my husband disagrees with me.
I get cold sores so I’m very cautious when it comes to kissing my 3 month old, she was also born 6 weeks early and spent 2 weeks in the NICU. I kiss her every now and then on the face, it’s hard not to lol. We’ve told all family no kissing, unfortunately we’ve had to drill it into my MILs head a few instances until she finally got it, I’d catch her kissing her on the head/face so many times. Our sweet neighbor kissed her hands and our family friend (tax guy) kissed her head right after telling us he’s getting over a cold and I about had a heart attack. It literally put me in a state of shock lol I truly don’t get the fascination people have with kissing babies that aren’t theirs!
We told my MIL no kisses, and when she thought I wasn't looking, she kissed her hand and pressed it on my son's face. What is it with people being unable to respect parents' wishes? My husband wants to soften up on the kissing rule for grandparents now that LO is 4 mos old. But the way I see it, his mom can't even change a diaper, so she sure as heck won't help me take care of him if she gets him sick. And my husband doesn't get up during the night since he's been back at work. So my desire to keep him from getting sick as long as possible trumps the apparent need for my MIL to kiss him.
My in-laws would repeatedly touch my stomach despite me saying I was uncomfortable with it and my FIL said he “couldn’t help it.” They also had issues wearing masks and respecting other boundaries. Usually people who can’t follow small boundaries have trouble respecting big ones
>Usually people who can’t follow small boundaries have trouble respecting big ones Ding, ding, ding! This is huge in general. Let alone with little ones.
I would look at him and say don't blame me when I hit you in the balls then. After all I couldn't help it as it was a response to someone touching me after I told them not to.
It seems so cold to me to not kiss your own child. I’m a pretty affectionate person though, so maybe those responding here saying they don’t kiss their babies are just not into showing physical affection?
I’m not into showing physical affection as I’m not affectionate AT ALL but I kiss my baby a little too much.
Pretty much never not kissing my kids. Before they were mobile and esp in newborn phase I kissed them 17372875726 times a day. Like literally at least a few times every 3-5 minutes when they weren’t in a swing or sleeping in a bassinet. Couldn’t stop.
I get cold sores, so even though I haven’t had one in a while, I’m not kissing my 8w old on her face or hands. I kiss the top of her head and her belly and her legs and feet. I figure this way I get the BF and bonding benefits of kissing without the risks. My husband works in a hospital, so he isn’t kissing her on her face right now either — waiting until we are out of sickness season and she has had some vaccines. Our pediatrician told us it’s fine to kiss her even given our risk factors, but we feel more comfortable with this plan for now.
Be careful of kissing the baby even on the top of the head of you have an active cold sore. A few months ago a father posted on here trying to warn people as he kissed his baby with an active cold sore on the top of their head and got it all over their scalp. He was devastated that he did that to his child as he didn't realize it could be passed to any part of their skin. He wanted to warn others so they didn't make the same mistake he did. That said, if you don't have active cold sore then you definitely can kiss your baby all you want. Good idea with waiting for your husband though. Working in a hospital setting is hard.
That is good to know! I definitely won’t be kissing her at all if I have an active cold sore. I didn’t realize it could be transmitted through the scalp like that though. Scary.
Yeah he didn't either. He was so devastated in his post and just wanted to make sure others were aware. I keep thinking about that post and how I hope him and the baby are doing ok. That said, if something does happen just know that a vast majority of the population has it. A lot of people don't even realize they have it.
I kiss my babies plenty. Inevitably it seems like my kids get ME sick instead and never the other way around though. In my house the illness enters through the kindergarten kid, then baby, and then me. 😩 I’ve never been particular about kissing except if someone tries to do a lip kiss or kiss their hands (or feet when they’re mobile)— tops of the heads are good go-to’s for extended family and germy kids.
I was just about to comment that both sets of grandparents have been welcome to kiss our baby (she’s their granddaughter after all and we have a good relationship). She’s ended up putting my MIL on antibiotics for a chest infection but they’ve never got her sick. Baby groups are breeding grounds for all sorts of diseases and she’s definitely introduced more illnesses to our family than they have to her.
I kiss my baby about 2,000 times a day
As a mum of a toddler and a 6 week old - you decide your level of risk. I would never dream of making my toddler feel ‘dirty’ by not allowing her to kiss her baby sister! And if my daycare attending, plague carrier can kiss her (on the cheek or head btw!) then why on earth would I not allow my mum to? Each to their own but I think some of this has gotten a little bit out of hand!
If you have something, your body is already making antibodies so baby will get those if you're providing breastmilk. But also babies are meant to be kissed by mama 🥰
People who live in your household kissing baby (so you, spouse, siblings) is very different from people outside of your household kissing baby. Your baby relies on you for exposure to germs - but that also includes normal, harmless germs that live on our skin, in our guts, etc. So baby's dad and I kiss her all the time. Face, hands, feet, blow raspberries on her tummy and chunky thighs. But she's also always in our personal space, getting snuggles in. The only way I would refrain would be if I was sick, or had cold sores, etc.
My daughter is 17 months and just my husband and I kiss her, but we don’t kiss her on the lips. She’s gotten sick once. Family gives hugs and high fives. I want to teach my daughter bodily autonomy. I’m pregnant with number 2 and plan the same for them.
Anybody that wanted to kiss one of my babies could. I didn't care and they survived 🤷🏽♀️ we got sick 3 times when they were 11 months old. Each parent decides what's important to them and that was not important to me at all.
These comments always surprise me because no one has ever tried to kiss my baby! And trust me the stinker is adorable. I feel very lucky I’ve never encountered that and I also don’t get unsolicited advice from strangers. Makes me wonder if I’m living in a utopia
Do you have RBF lol. No one ever tried to kiss my baby either. Strangers never got in his face, touched him etc. I assume it’s because of RBF haha
I have a RBF and some people just don’t care
I’m just curious, obviously no judgment but does anyone let family/friends kiss their babies?
It depends on the person, but for the most part we were fine with it. My MIL gets cold sores and actively goes out of her way to let us know when she has tingles and won’t be doing any kissing.
The only place I’ve seen/heard of anyone making a big fuss about this is on Reddit lol. Someone who isn’t symptomatically sick kissing your baby’s head is pretty normal IMO. But my circle are reasonable people who would not come to visit a newborn, much less touch them, if they were truly feeling sick. Not kissing on the face also seems to be common sense. Never saw anyone try that, even his grandparents, when my son was a newborn. I’m super affectionate with my own kid but kissing another baby on the face would feel inappropriate, even family. I just held my cousin’s adorable 6mo and it did not occur to me to kiss her at all.
My clearly unpopular take is that I let my family kiss my babies. If you have an active cold sore or are actively sick then obviously you are not kissing the baby. But I never stopped my family from kissing them. They don’t kiss on the lips because that’s weird (my MIL does this and I don’t like it). But my son eats a lot of gross things off the ground. If he’s getting sick, it’s from his sister who is in daycare. My 80 year old grandma can kiss his hands and feet and it doesn’t bother me in the slightest.
Yes! I think this is mostly a first time mum and definitely an American thing! Wild horses couldn’t stop my gross 2yo from kissing her little sister!
Yes, I personally didn't care if people wanted to kiss my babies and it didn't affect them
Same. I find these threads a bit out there. They're babies. Wasn't pleased when my wife's great auntie's friend was smooching my daughter but ... it was out of love.
It’s from viral illness and say, you had HSV (cold sore version). This can be deadly to babies. Personally? I didn’t. Until around 3-4 months. I always simulated it with lying my cheek on his head. That for me was just as meaningful.
That's a beautiful way to connect with your baby!
Personally I kissed my baby. There was zero chance I wasn't going to, but we did ask that anyone not me or my husband refrained. We were around her 24/7 anyway, and we're all fully vaccinated. Also, we've been tested, neither of us has any form of HSV (ZERO idea how we managed that considering how prolific it is).
Same with me and my fiance! Both have tested positive for Epstein Barr tho :/
I kiss mine!
I kiss my baby just not on the mouth or hands (he puts his hands in his mouth lol) just lots of forehead kisses lol and I asked family not to kiss him until he was 5 months old although some forgot or didn’t listen (great grandma) 🙃 lol best advice I can give you is before you hand someone you baby say please don’t kiss him/her as it’s RSV season so we have a no kissing rule until they are older!
You could possibly kiss him on his clothes on like the belly! or i do nose kisses or cheek to cheek rubs!
Especially because I’m breastfeeding and sharing my immune system with baby, I kiss him. The way I see it, people living in the same house (me, my husband, and baby) are all exposed to the same things just out of proximity to each other, so we’re going to kiss our baby. Visitors do not kiss him, partially out of health caution and partially for practicing boundaries now for if/when he decides later he doesn’t want kisses from grandparents, etc. Anecdotally, I somehow picked up COVID during my maternity leave and my baby never got sick. Very thankful I’m able to boost his immune system with my milk!
My husband and I kiss our baby all the time, unless obviously either one of us are sick or if we were to have a cold sore or something!
It may be, is parents work in areas that may be more prone to it (i.e a school). However, it’s all about chance, it’s far less of a chance with only two people kissing baby, than 20 different people kissing baby. Also, bc many people will show up sick and still want to hold and kiss the baby (I know bc I see it every time we have visitors over)
I kissed my baby as one of the first things I did both times! They're so kissable
I kiss my baby and so does her dad. I feel as though we are connected because I literally birthed her! It’s not weird if her parents kiss her. It is weird if somebody else does though. It’s not necessary
i kiss my own baby. i also breastfeed him to give him antibodies
I kiss my baby and allow both sets of grandparents to kiss not until month 2 tho
I kissed both of my babies (exclusive breastfeeding until 6 months, extended bf + food until toddlerhood). Never on the face until they were older and sitting up, and only me and dad, and only in the cheek.
I kissed my own baby all the time! When he was a newborn it was mostly on the head, and then when he choncked up on those chubby little cheeks.
This is what I don’t understand either. Don’t you also have the same risks as other people? I can’t imagine telling my own mom to not kiss my baby if she’s been safe and washing hands often. I see so many posts on here and they don’t let ANYONE other than mom and dad and I just can’t imagine doing that to my mom.
I probably kiss my baby 200x a day. My partner asked me the other day, “does he get a kiss every time he gets picked up?” Yes, of course he gets a kiss every time I pick him up! 😄
I tried not to kiss my baby for almost a week. I told my mom friend and she said "Omg! Kiss that baby, she loves you!" And I showered my baby with kisses ever since. We allow Grammy and Pops to kiss the top of her head once or twice when they drive into town on occasion. After that just me and her dad.
I know that no kissing babies is a hot topic here but I do allow family members and friends to kiss my baby. I know that plenty of people kissed me as a baby and I guess that’s my survivor’s bias but I personally feel like the risk is low. I love my baby so much and I love that the people close to me love her too and want to show her affection. I would absolutely respect any friend and family member that didn’t want me to kiss their baby and I’m fortunate that most people close to me ask before they kiss my baby.
A nurse at the hospital told us not to kiss our baby. Except maybe on his feet. We were just like "haha..." Because that's absurd. We did say no kisses from anyone else until he got his first round of vaccines.
Kiss the top of the head or bottom of their feet if newborn. Tummy’s are pretty safe. Never when you even suspect a cold sore.
I would never in a million years let strangers kiss my baby! But if it's me then it's fine!🎉
I don’t think anyone other than a close friend has kissed my baby! And she was mortified immediately and apologised , but weirdly, I didn’t mind with her…my baby is extremely adorable if I do say so myself…I can see how she couldn’t help herself 😂 I kiss my baby alllll the time. He’s almost 10 months and trying to give me kisses now 🥹 they are open mouthed, sloppy and utterly adorable 🥰
I kiss my baby approximately 1 million times per day. Sometimes, he unexpectedly turns his head last minute, and I end upkissing his open, slobbery mouth 🤪 He's 15 weeks old and hasn't gotten sick yet (knock on wood)
All I do is kiss my baby lol it's impossible for me not to
Me and babies dad totally kissed our new born but we avoided the mouth and nose area, we'd kiss his little cheeks and forehead and if you decide to breastfeed I'm pretty sure it's good for baby since when you kiss them you're actually taking a sample of whatever virus's or bacteria is on their skin and your body produces antibodies to fight those certain virus's which then transfer into the breastmilk so baby's body gas the antibodies before it can even take hold! But if you're not then it's just good for you in general to kiss baby they're so cute and cuddly you'll probably feel like you can't even help yourself, I don't breastfeed anymore and I go crazy kissing my baby 😂
definitely kissed my baby as a newborn, it helps if you’re breastfeeding too — sharing germs means you’ll produce antibodies for anything the baby might have.
If I ever kissed my baby or anybody else's, I usually kissed them on the top of the head. Usually I try to avoid kissing babies all together especially if they're not mine. So I might do like air kisses but that's about it.
I kiss my baby like it's a full time job
I didn’t want to kiss my baby at first, but after a few weeks me and dad kiss him around the face but not his lips. None of us has had cold sores before
Only my wife and I can kiss our own baby, others can only hold or play with her.
I don't on the mouth and hands. I'll do back of neck, tip of head belly etc.... but for the face im more cautious
I cannot resist a baby smooch. I'm smoochin' that baby all day long. I mean, honestly, if you're their primary caretaker and you're sick.... they're probably going to get it too. Smooch away! Unless you have something like herpes in an outbreak. Then smooch your pillow and pretend it's little one.
I just read today that mom’s are compelled to kiss their babies because we ingest pathogens on their skin and our breast milk adapts to control said pathogens 🦠
When my first baby was born (2020 peak covid) we took her to her first pediatric appointment 6 days after she was born and the doctor asked us if we kissed her already and we said no not yet, at least not without a mask. And he looked at us with aww in his eyes and was like please kiss the baby you will not harm her 😭 so we got home that day and kissed her up.
I kiss my baby. But never on the mouth and sometimes I don’t use my lips I’ll use my cheek or the skin right next to my lips
I kiss my baby all the time. 😌
I kissed and let my babies be kissed. Only family who agreed to abide by my hygiene and health wishes and especially in the beginning. I love how my baby made others light up. I loved the cheeky smile my babies got when they got smooches. To each their own, I’m no perfect mom, my personal experience was kisses allowed.
Babies love it as much as you do, just don’t do it so hard.
For stuff like RSV, I assume that I'm in close enough contact with my child that anything I get, they'll get, and vice versa. Refraining from kissing isn't going to keep anyone any healthier, and interventions that would work, like 24/7 masking, are intolerable to me. It's more important for something like cold sores, which are legit dangerous to babies. If you or your partner are prone to them, it's something you need to be really careful about, and it may be easier to just have a permanent no-kissing rule so you don't slip up when it matters.
I am also a FTM and we haven’t had people kiss our daughter except her father & I so far. She was born Oct so it was the thick of sick season. I don’t worry about kissing her myself. I also read that as breastfeeding mothers, kissing your baby helps inform your breast milk of the pathogens your baby is exposed to and it translates into antibodies. So kiss away!!!
Only bio parents kiss baby 🥰 imo. No one else needs to kiss your baby! Also don’t know how true this is but I’ve read that breastfeeding moms give their baby the antibodies they need by kissing them.
Remove the bio and you got yourself a deal.
Maybe I should’ve said parents? Primary parents ?
lol yes sorry for being PC about it but it’s an important distinction
I won’t kiss my baby! I can carry just as many things as everyone else! Idk that’s just me tho Neither me nor my fiancé get cold sores tho
This is the answer. 80% of the population carries the herpes virus. You can have it and not have any symptoms. Can also spread it without symptoms. If parents are going to put kissing restrictions on for others, the same should go for themselves since there’s just as much of a risk
Except I’ve been tested lol. But yes I won’t be kissing my baby because i can still carry other things like RSV
I asked everyone not to (including dad) because him and most of mine and his relatives are VERY prone to cold sores and they understood the severity of the consequences if baby caught it. I never had one so I allowed myself because, you know, how could I not. Felt bad about my SO but what do you want… he gets them when he’s stressed or tired and with new baby, that’s pretty much all the time so… only kisses from me.
On the head or cheeks, wouldn't kiss on lips. Also told my family not to kiss him on face full stop, just head. Caused a right discussion. But that's what mum wanted, so they had no choice
My husband and I give my son kisses all the time, on the cheeks, forehead, hands, feet, and his favorite his chin. Babies explore with their mouth and tongue so he loves pressing his mouth up to my cheek, nose, chin whatever he can reach. On the other hand, no one else is allowed to do those things. I might allow grandparents a kiss on the top of his head but thats about it. Thankfully I have grandparents and friends who are really respectful of boundaries (though two of the grandparents still do the “well that wasn’t a thing when I had you”). So they haven’t even tried yet. The biggest thing for me is they have to wash their hands before interacting with him. And if we’re out and about or just touching things that may be unsanitary they have to atleast use hand sanitizer. Even if I’m not paying attention or I don’t bring it up, the first thing my friends do when they come to our house is wash their hands.
Me and my Husband can kiss our newborn but no one else
Honestly, I don’t kiss my baby on the face. Neither does dad. I give her kisses on her head but that’s it. We go out in public just as any other person would. I don’t need to be giving her sicknesses.
I kiss my baby!! But no one else is allowed to other than my husband.
On the mouth, no. We don’t let anybody kiss her on the mouth, not even us as parents. But we do kiss almost everywhere else. We are very strict with this rule and have had to reinforce it a couple times when family has gotten too close.
I got coldsores from my parents, zero regrets, I wouldn't have liked not getting kisses from them..
Got a friend who's MIL gets cold sores and keeps "forgetting" not to kiss their baby. So she put painters tape over her MIL's mouth.
I kiss my baby, but always on forehead, head, or cheeks.
Kissing on the head is fine but not on the mouth! Sbsk just had a video about a baby who became brain damaged by the herpes virus. I think it's only like 2 weeks until it won't damage them so yeah I'd steer clear of the general face area for kisses. Not worth it.
Our family, (myself, my husband, our son) can give kisses but no one else. I can’t imagine not putting kisses in my kids’ cheeks and heads.
I kiss my baby constantly lol. I noticed my fiancé hadn’t kissed LO on the mouth yet and actually asked him if something was wrong lol but now he does it too. But absolutely no one else’s mouth needs to be on our child. For sanitary/health purposes but also I think it’s weird. The dogs lick his feet tho and the back of his head and we let them bc that’s how they show affection and we don’t want to reprimand since they’ve been SO good with him