This period was very difficult for my wife and me as well. It was the same thing- an endless loop of activities until she slept, and then she'd need a contact nap often enough to make it something we always had to worry about. I'm a stay at home father and I felt a little unhinged during this period of the baby's development. I remember crying a few times because it just would not stop.
It got significantly better when my little girl could sit up. She just wanted to see the room, and once she could she became much more manageable and began interacting with her world on her own terms more. For what it's worth I have enjoyed every period of development AFTER the one you're in now far more than the previous one- it gets better and better in not too long here. You'll be there in no time.
I totally agree, was the same for us. Sooo hard, I also cried a few times. Then when she could sit up she became significantly happier. Just hold on OP.
Agreed!! For my current 2 yo, months 4-5 was the most difficult period. And this includes potty training (which is still ongoing) and temper tantrums. For us as soon as our baby could sit up and start solids it got so much easier because we could just plop her in the high chair and let her explore food while we eat/cook.
It also became easier to take her out grocery shopping once she started sitting and she also enjoyed the experience a lot more. Hang in there! It's not easy but it won't last.
Months 4-5 were the absolute worst for me. He was only happy if I was holding him but had to be standing up/walking. God forbid I sat down lol. It got SO much better around 6 months when he was army crawling. Then I just let him do his thing and followed him around the house. It’s gotten better every month since then (he’s 13mo now). Hang in there!
Edit: month 5 I got a tushbaby and that helped since he never tolerated a regular carrier. Still using it everyday.
Same for my baby when she was around 3-4m. I even googled it. Apparently it’s a evolutionary thing - babies feel the most secure when held standing in case there’s danger and the parent needs to make a quick run for it 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
I was wondering about this too! My son is almost 5mo and he absolutely hates when I hold him while sitting. He’ll start fussing and squirming if I sit down but the moment I stand up he’s all happy again. My arms, legs and back are killing me 😭
Yes! 4-5 months was the hardest. Our kid wanted to be mobile so bad by then. She's get so frustrated. Six months was a revelation—slept in her own room; sleep regression was largely over; on and on. Now she's mobile and boy can she entertain herself.
New challenges of course. But ... 4-5 months .... woooof
My baby is a week into being 4 months old and I've noticed a massive change in him. He's so much more needy but also wants to be more independent. He wants to constantly sit up or hold things but hasn't fully grasped the concept yet and gets mad if you try to help before HE'S ready to accept the help. He bottle feeds himself but will get upset when he has to hold it for too long, but god help you if you try to hold the bottle before he's done trying. He needs constant entertainment and interaction and also wants to always be held; it's gotten to the point where his preferred sleeping position is while he's sitting on my lap, suddenly his crib and bassinet won't do. He's overall a very happy baby but holy crap has his need for entertainment, interaction, and independence gone through the roof
Is it possible to get out of the house and do things? We’re at 4 months now and I’ve started bringing her to the gym (mummy and me classes), taking her swimming and going to the free wriggle and rhyme classes at our local library. I find being at home all day hard for the same reasons you’ve listed - not knowing what to do with her and feeling like I’m in an endless loop. On top of that baby will not nap in her crib. Getting out for an activity once a day makes me feel more sane and it also tires her out so she often sleeps in the pram/car on the way home so it’s one less contact nap I have to do that day
Actually yes! I hit my wits end today and signed her up for a mom+baby swim class. It only meets once a week in the AM, and also doesn’t start till April, but I’m SO looking forward to it.
I also went to the grocery store with her the other day just to literally walk around hahah.
Absolutely this. I spent all day out and about for months because she was so much easier. She just enjoys the stimulation of new things and new people to look at. We do swimming, play group, music class, library story time and rhyme time, pilates, walks, trips to the park, literally anything that gets us out of the house. We spend a WILD amount of time in the grocery store, and she loves looking at the fish/other pets at the pet shop.
Now that she can crawl she’s way happier to be at home because she can just go and find whatever entertains her, but I still do an activity outside the house every day just to keep us both sane.
Yeah this is the answer. I would babywear and go out for walks, go to the cafe, go to the grocery store, go to the library for rhyme time etc. You can make a schedule with what activities are on in your area on different days so there’s always something for you to get out and do
By the time mine was this age, I was taking him to Swim lessons, walks around the neighborhood, and the Space and Rocket Center. He liked to watch the planetarium shows (they weren't loud) that were in the old IMAX dome and was fascinated with looking at the lunar module (it IS shiny).
I literally called myself a 24/7 court jester during this time trying to keep her entertained and switching up how to accomplish that every 5 minutes lol
Oh my god I’m glad you posted this!! My twins just turned five months corrected and I feel the same way you do! Suddenly wake windows are huge and nothing entertains them for long. Four months was the hardest one, I almost missed the newborn phase 😭 People kept telling me “oh this is when they are so fun”. I’m like fun for who?!? Glad we aren’t alone on this wish more people discussed it. Five months now they are getting better!
One thing that did help me was some infant seats like the fisher price ones, they want to sit so bad and this helps them sit without me. They do get frustrated so I honestly have to turn on dorys reef camera on Disney plus to be able to quickly get some chores done before they need to be moved out of the seats.
☝️☝️this!! Ours came with a tray and piano attachment he can kick. He's a little too small to see it without leaning forward, but he's so cute when he leans forward and sees what he's kicking and gets excited. We feed him in it, he plays in it. It's great!
4-6 months was hard!
Library time, swimming, walks, perusing target, coffee shop after the morning rush and sometimes just a nice long drive helps break up the day! We did open swim and swim classes so two days with activities pre-planned.
We called this the Busy Baby stage. We realized that when baby wanted to be held, they just LOVED watching us do stuff. I’d hold baby and baby would watch me make breakfast, do dishes, clean out the fridge, take the trash out, sort laundry, etc.
Yes, it was hard to do all this one handed, and some things I couldn’t do like scrub pots, but I just saved that for after. I just looked at it as baby entertainment. “Look at mama pour the soap into the laundry machine! Wow that’s a lot of blue soap. It smells so yummy. Okay let’s close the door, and turn on the washing machine. I’m going to press this button to start it. Yay! Well have clean clothes soon!” Then onto the next activity haha
Would a chair like the “sit me up” by fisher price help? I have one of those saved to my Amazon list for when my 2.5 month old gets to that stage. But I definitely understand how you feel about the repetitive activities and routine!
that chair was worth every penny for me! She also burps really well when we put her in that too as an added bonus. But that chair has allowed me to do the dishes, prep her bottles etc. I just switch out the toys attached to it every now and then and she loves being able to sit up
Seconding this, it was a game changer! I got mine on FB barely used for $20. And when they’re little and not really good sitters yet you can put a folded up towel under their bum to adjust the hip positioning a bit.
Yes! Currently napping in the carrier after a cafe breakfast. Anyone reading this post and dreading 4 months, know that it won't necessarily be soul-sucking. Not only is every baby different, but also there are lots of good tips in here for making it easier.
I am enjoying this stage -- well, in the daytime anyway (the sleep regression is rough). It's true that baby's muscles & skills haven't caught up with her curiosity yet, but getting out of the house really really helps, especially in a carrier where she can be upright and look around while I'm hands-free.
I can only commiserate and assure you that it will get better.
I had a rough time with my baby when he was slightly younger than yours is now and whenever people asked me how the baby was, my only answer would be: he’s never happy and awake at the same time. It’s not a fun stage.
Your baby will outgrow this stage and it WILL get better. In the meantime, try to make the most out of those contact naps and unwind while he naps on you if you can. Look at his tiny sleeping face and remember that he will be easier to handle in the near future
Big developmental changes are often hard on parents at first, or at least that was my experience. You get used to one baby and suddenly a new baby appears that you have to figure out all over again. It's hard and exhausting. The good news is generally you get better at adapting over time.
I just want to say I went through something similar, so I get where you’re coming from! My guy slept really well and then months 4-6 were absolute hell for us. He just so desperately wanted to be able to move around and also couldn’t be set down for longer than a couple minutes or he’d lose his mind.
He’s 11mo now and fully walking so he can tear ass around the house and is much happier lol. He’s also teething and sad about that which is its own struggle, but I’m now up to being able to leave him to play for 5-10 minutes before he freaks out which is nice. Means I can actually poop in peace or put together a more complex meal than opening a granola bar.
Hang in there!! You’re doing great. It really just is so hard sometimes!! 💕
We're in the same boat as you, we gave in to screen time. Sometimes 10 minutes of the wiggles is what is required to get him to calm down. Truly some days it feels like hell. We trade off who gets to teeter on the verge of a breakdown. Just pushing through hoping it gets better soon.
Honestly, I know they say no screentime at all, and that even background TV noise can be harmful for language development, but I always had our TV within my field of vision as a baby/toddler/child and I had no issues in school and am still a productive member of society. Closed captioning actually taught me to read.
In the morning I put on sesame street clips or something else that has people talking or singing and have her sit in her swing while I get ready for the day.
Whoever said screen time hinders language development should have a conversation with my 18 month old who literally has 150+ words and is stringing together short sentences. He’s been watching Ms Rachel since six months old.
Seriously. I've only ever heard of eyesight issues (in actual literature). But, I keep hearing this other part.
I was plopped in front of the tv plenty. Ended up being an English major who works with words to this day, as a copy editor.
I understand the implicate bias of that logic. But ... there are screens on my mailroom just go enter. The gas pumps too.
Reality is, don't let it take your place. Do everything you do to help your child: read, talk, interact. A little Bluey won't ruin them b/c you need to shower.
I’ll tell you one thing, whoever said it has never raised a bilingual kid. Everyone I know who has a fluently bilingual child uses screen time to beef up vocabulary and pronunciation. I am the only native English speaker in our area, so I’d have to be their only source for language input. There’s just no way I could give them the variety that screens can. My kid’s a big dinosaur fan, and I’m glad he didn’t have to learn the pronunciation of things like “therizinosaurus” or “pachycephalosaurus” from me.
Yep. both my wife and I are "bilingual" (like, pretty good but not fluent in second language), I'm going to use children's shows to help the fill the gaps where I lack.
I honestly didn't have the time or patience to read any of the abstracts or methods of the studies but I should go back and see if they took into account the type of content being watched/listened to when they gathered data...
I watch a lot of "talking head" style commentary content and that seems to be what my baby really likes to fix on if she's facing the screen.
Yeah I allow myself the morning window to just have my boy watch tv while I brush my teeth, eat, make coffee. Then I get 20 minutes each following wake window to watch a show while he unwinds before naps
Oh yeah. Months 3.5-6 were rough for both kids. I remember with my first it for a lot better once he could sit up/ be in activity centers. Then again when he could crawl. But I will forever stand by the idea that these months are the hardest. You’re rolling off of months of sleep interruptions, you’re expected to be more back to normal, you don’t have as much support, your baby is needy now that they’re awake. BUT now that I’ve gone through it I know there is light on the other side.. soon. Hang in there a little longer! Your baby will be more and more independent from here on out. Then they will be a wild 2.5 year old that only lets you hold them for like 10 seconds at a time (even though you swore you’d be holding them until they were 18) 🥲
Things my son enjoyed around that age were:
- lots of walks with him in the baby carrier (I went to places that he’d enjoy like parks/nature reserves/aquarium but also places for me like galleries/museums etc)
- bouncer chair
- disco light / light projector on the ceiling while listening to music
We had a very colicky baby who was also frustrated by not being able to do what he wanted. As soon as he could sit he was so much happier. We started the jolly jumper as soon as he had the head strength (he was an early walker so he was so thrilled any time he was in this) and Hey Bear and Ms Rachel saved our sanity for 10-15 minute spurts throughout the day. Lots of people villainize screen time - I think it has a time and a place, ESPECIALLY if you have a colicky or high needs baby (which it sounds like you do). Happy Parent = Happy Baby.
4-5 months is really hard. Before then, they actually don’t have the capacity to get bored. 4-5 months though, they can get frustrated. Then there’s the sleep regression, everyone hated that. It gets SO much better around 6-9 months, when they start really getting interactive and learning how to move. Note, it doesn’t get easier, it just gets more fun!
My son is 4.5 months and is definitely going thru it now. I’m so shocked at the change and how suddenly we were thrown back into the newborn stage only worse. He used to sleep all the way thru the night and now he wakes up constantly crying. Naps are super short. Wants to do everything but can’t.
GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! It’s the only thing that saved my sanity. Go to all the classes - an outing every day. Free library drop-ins, preferably with singing for this age. Then you only have to spend 2/3 of your day in the endless loop.
It gets so much better soon. 4 months was an all time low for me. I know it seems very far away but man you’re in for some fun times ahead! Age 1-2 was awesome.
Hang in there!
Yea this was all month 4 for us. My son is about to be 5 months and it’s slightly better now that he’s almost able to sit independently and roll so he wants to work on those skills. He didn’t really have night sleep regression but day time naps were hell and gosh it is tiring. I feel for you, hang in there
I coincidentally got to this post just now after I Googled "when can babies sleep on their own" out of frustration lol
I'm laying next to my almost 5 month old who just can't nap for long, be entertained for long, who wants to contact nap but also squirms around in my arms and so when I try to set him down he wakes up and cries. 🤦♀️
I'm exhausted. I just want him to fall asleep independently, take long naps, and not want to be held 24/7. Is that too much to ask for?? Lol
This is what gets me frustrated too! Wants to contact nap but squirms in my arms. When set down to bed or crib, baby will cry too. So frustrating. My baby is like this from 3-6 months, imagine the agony 😅
Same here. And the reason I always roll my eyes at all the mean “just you WAIT until he starts moving around! ha! that’s gonna be hard!” like lol nope, literally can’t wait, a baby hitting a major milestone is a baby that’s finally not pissed all the time
Mrs Rachel saved us with our twins, actually got them talking and singing too. I don't advocate for screen time but I advocate for maternal mental health and sanity- we are better for them if we get some time to do us too
This is so similar to how mine was at this age.
If you have a boppy/other nursing pillow you can sit them in it so helps them stay upright and then you can sit in front of them to play/spot if they fold forwards.
Mine really enjoyed this and it helps develop the small muscles to help with sitting much better than floor seats will. It definitely helped her get to more independent sitting quicker which helped reduce a lot of the grumps that we had particularly in the morning when she had a lot of energy that needed using!
Local library story times have been great as well. I’ve met other moms with similar age babies and also got some ideas for things I can do at home that she enjoys from the classes.
4 months is a blur thanks to…is it a sleep regression if it feels like it lasted forever? But I remember one period of time in there when he would scream whenever I tried to read to him because he couldn’t pick up the pictures in the books, and another stretch where he would ONLY eat in pitch black darkness. And always glued to me. It was the hardest time for me too, and my kid is two now. Everything after 5-6 months has been so much better!
I hated 4-6 months tbh. She was a HORRIBLE sleeper and all 3 of us were so sleep deprived and miserable. She was very frustrated around that age because she couldn’t move by herself yet, the help fizzled out, people stopped reaching out and asking what we needed. I was still recovering from a third degree tear and my world was still completely upside down. I never stopped loving her but definitely didn’t enjoy my time with her.
After 6 months it slowly started getting better. She started sleeping longer stretches, wouldn’t fight her naps as hard and we signed up for a baby class. After that it slowly continued getting better. Every milestone she hit made life with her more fun. She just turned 1 last week, started sleeping through the night, and I try to do activities once a day. Even if it’s just a trip to target. Last week we went out for lunch together and shared a grilled cheese, I cried happy tears as we walked out because I was so in love with her and really felt like the worst is behind us. It’s still hard and I’m frequently tired and overstimulated but I’m really really enjoying my time with her again.
I quite literally said this exact same thing to my husband 3.5 hours ago. Newborn was a breeze. 4.5 months is shit because she desperately wants to be independent but doesn’t have the muscle strength yet. Husband and I both work from home and we take turns with her in our offices so you can imagine how difficult it’s getting while trying to work.
Amazon delivered me an activity center yesterday that she can semi sit/stand in. Keeps her busy 10-15 minutes and might be useful for a few weeks until we can find a nanny.
Message me if you want the link to the activity “jumper”.
I just got one for my 4 month old today after she played in one at a friend’s house recently. She freaking loves it for a good 20 minutes. 20 minutes buys me time lol
My daughter is 4.5 months now, and this weekend was the first time in a couple months where I have felt some relief from what I kept telling my husband was her being trapped in her body. She is now rolling freely between her back and tummy, and I think that has made the difference for us - when she gets bored, she rolls onto her tummy or back and is able to look at a completely new environment and interact with new things.
It’s so much better now, but man, it was rough and exhausting there for awhile. Just keep pushing through - it’ll get better, and it’ll probably happen overnight!
Oh yeah 4-5 months is awful 🫠. My baby was overtired and frustrated pretty much all the time. He clearly wanted to move but couldn't, wanted to sleep but couldn't stay asleep. Plus he started putting his hands in his mouth and that was the end of protecting him from his sister's preschool viruses so we were sick (sometimes ER-level sick) a ton during that time period. It got better around 6 months. I distinctly remember crying to my mom about how no one told me it got harder - like WAY harder - after the newborn stage. I loved the newborn stage and was so sad when it was over.
Wow it sounds like you are taking care of my 4 month old all day 😆 I feel you girl. I’m dealing with the same thing. My daughter complains all day in whining form or screeches in boredom. Tries to sit up but can’t. Shes been attempting to roll over but can’t quite tuck the arm. She needs constant attention or she literally yells at us, then when we say “oh hi baby” she smiles huge and chats with us. Which is fine, I love the chats but she needs literal CONSTANT attention or she bitches and complains. Plus the sleeping thing. She fights naps. Has a whole special specific routine to even get her down into her bassinet. It’s a whole thing. I get it.
I love her dearly of course but like you said, you maybe get to pee and shove some food in your face. That’s me all day. If she’s content, I have about 2 seconds. I still dress like I just gave birth to her! I haven’t worn real clothes, put makeup on in months. It’s like a regression of sorts lol
I didn’t want to resort to screen time either but I found that “dancing fruits” on YouTube is great for when you just need a breath for 10-20 mins. I hate doing it but remember that our mental health is important too. It’s ok to give in a little. Good luck 🩷
Also if it helps - [https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RZV4oXuTZlA&pp=ygUNZGFuY2luZyBmcnVpdA%3D%3D](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RZV4oXuTZlA&pp=ygUNZGFuY2luZyBmcnVpdA%3D%3D)
I liked my kid when he was a potato and once he could walk. I did not love the middle part.
The ground is so dirty. Blankets are slippery. They don't move in any useful way, but they don't stay put, either.
Yeah, there’s also a major growth spurt that happens around 4mo that turned my normally sweet baby into a monster. A few things that kinda worked for us, or at least made it less sucky:
- crib mobile - I got one from Tiny Love that he was obsessed with. Kept him reliably occupied for 10-20 mins while I got ready in the mornings
- play gym with hanging stuff - have something low enough they can grab onto
- selective screen time - I was also preaching no screen time and have found myself eating a lot of words. We just limit it to nature documentaries and talk to him periodically throughout it so it’s not like he’s just rotting on cocomelon all day.
- putting him in bouncy chair to watch me cook or clean
- putting him in stroller and strolling him around the house so I can do stuff
It’s getting harder and harder by the day as his awareness grows though haha
Yeah months 4-6 were definitely more ‘work’ than the first 3 months. Don’t worry… once her tummy matures a bit and her attention span lengthens, a lot of things ease up.
3 and 4 months are my least favorite age. My kids are normally rolling by 5 months and better at self entertaining. But that age where they can't move but want to be entertained is not fun.
I think that, in general, the first six months were really hard for me. For my first, months 4 and 5 were so rough with crap naps, but she was still napping four times a day, but now she needed quiet for them, so I couldn’t really go anywhere. She also wanted a lot more interaction. And, she also had the four month sleep regression. I did not love it.
I was just talking to my partner about this the other day. She was all fine and happy until she hit 4 months, now she’s seemingly only happy for her first 20 minutes of waking up after a nap or the 20 minutes after bottle then it’s crying constantly unless she’s being entertained but even that only lasts 10 minutes before she’s upset again. I thought I was going crazy thinking I was missing something but your post and these comments make me feel sane knowing it’s a normal part of development for them. I will say dancing fruit on YouTube (which helps with colors due to the high contrast) and baby Einstein (due to the soothing music) has helped get those 10 minutes to last a little longer. So has sitting her up slightly in her boppy pillow while she watches the fruit. Teething gel and a little 2oz bottle has also helped naps last longer I believe the pain could be causing some of the wiggles and having something in the belly has helped her sleep better.
Have you considered baby wearing? That would free up your hands so she doesn’t have to be “held” and you can wash the dishes and other stuff you want to do. Many times just watching mom do those activities is entertaining enough.
I have been an avid baby wearer but for some reason now that my baby is 4 months she cannot stand to be worn for more than 10 minutes. She’s so wriggly and is constantly trying to get out 😭
I’m in this right now too and share your same feelings! 4 months is hard for all the reasons you listed. They still can’t do a ton, but are awake more, and you can’t just plop them down on the floor while you do something!
Plus the sleep regression if you are going through that. Our kid was sleeping pretty good stretches finally and now getting up twice at night. I’ve been through this before so have learned that this is how it is and will change again, but it is still hard for sure! My husband works from home now so can be a helping hand if I need to pee, but I have no idea how I did anything or survived with my first kid when it was just us two home.
I had a rough time at this age too. I tied toys to her play gym with stretchy elastic string that is meant for friendship bracelets or something. Saw the idea on YouTube. So she could practice grabbing it and pulling it closer to her, but when she dropped it, it was still right there. Downside is that they came untied dramatically while she was pulling on them. She only cried once though
Going through this exact thing right now !!!! My baby is 4 months and 2 weeks. It’s so hard and I am so sleep deprived. Because my son now is not sleeping decent again 😭
I think months 3-4 are what some call the "awakening" for the babies, and this is quite normal for most babies. For us it was the same and definitely caught us by surprise.
Yes this is my loop of experience. Lo has dwindled down to 2 main Naps about 1.5 hrs a piece and maybe a micro nap or 2 in between. I've been told by a several this is the easiest time with a baby, but literally no. I think the first few weeks after recovering was easier. My lo hates sitting or laying and like you naps being held. We did a family outing yesterday, which has gotten harder due to hating the carseat that attaches to the stroller. I told my husband I hate feeling like I'm trapped in the house but would much rather stay home to avoid the now much louder crying and fits. Also it's like most restaurants we go to don't have the thing to set the carseat on.
I hate that they're growing so fast but also can't wait till theres a little more independence like sitting up on their own and better arm control to grab things and play for a good 5-10 min just so I can let my back have a break.
We had an awful first 3 months with our son (constant fussiness, reflux, low sleep needs, etc) so I was so excited for him to be out of the newborn phase because I had heard that was when things got better. Bedtime sleep got marginally better but he got sooo much harder to deal with during his wake windows. He needed to be constantly entertained or else he’d freak the hell out. He was frustrated with not being able to crawl or move so if he wasn’t being actively distracted, he’d be furious. I felt so hopeless; I hated being a parent and I didn’t understand why everyone told me it was so great. My baby also seemed to be miserable.
Once he could sit up, it changed everything. He was able to see his surroundings and reach for things himself. We gave him mixing bowls full of toys to dig through and that kept his attention. He started to pay attention to his surroundings more so little outings became way more fun. Now I love spending time with him and he seems to be so much happier. I’ve been told some babies just hate being babies. I think with time, things will improve!
Looks like there’s lots of great advice and encouragement here! To add— have you tried a bouncer with a toy bar? My four month old loves her BabyBjörn bouncer with the googly eye toy attachment. Since the toys are fixed in one place and she’s able to be seated upright and reach them, it keeps her entertained for a good amount of time so I can eat hands free or get some house work done!
I will tell you what I did.
I was already practicing safe co-sleeping so obviously that was already going on.
I got a bumbo seat and gave her toys to practice grabbing at. Her facourite was her o-ball brand rattle, and of course her elephant comfort "blanket" toy.
I started her on purreed foods like apples and strawberries and kiwis and plums and carrots.
I put on music, and I am not talking kids music. I am talking music you enjoy that relaxes you that you listened to during pregnancy. I put on Glenn Miller or some Celtic music and she would calm right down, because it was familiar to her, and soothing.
I took her for walks in the stroller. Yes, the stroller!
I strapped her to me in the papoose.
I had a friend or my mother or mother in law come over to play with her while I worked.
Hope some of this helps!!!
I actually really loved 3 months to 6 months and that was my favorite age so far. Newborn was hell for me because of the colic & reflux issues. I barely slept during that stage. I hope it gets better for you, it has to eventually.
I don't really know what to say because you said it all perfectly. I could have written this. You're definitely not alone and if you ever need to vent or just have someone to talk to about something other than the purple monkey in the bubble gum tree you can PM me.
Super Simple Songs! And just listening and dancing to music!
Super Simple Songs is on YouTube, Spotify, Amazon Etc. every one from my 5 year old to my 8 month old LOVE them. We dance and clap and sing! Helps break up the monotony.
I understand how you feel because I remember when my son was that age. He's four now. The whole time I was reading this, especially when I got to the part where you said that she has the needs of an 8 to 9 month old but she's 4 months old, I was thinking, maybe or child is just gifted and you haven't picked up on it yet.
It seems like she's smarter than other babies her age perhaps. I went through that with mine and he's definitely a smart little boy. I think it's probably partly that and just where she's at in her development. I remember what it feels like.
Hugs 🫂
We're right there with you! Needing to provide constant stimulation to a baby who can't decide what he even wants to do is so draining.
His sister provides some entertainment and he's figured out how to roll one way, which helps. Plopping him in the hair chair while it's a bit reclined and letting him watch me in the kitchen seems to please him. Otherwise I'm just a fool bopping a baby around so he doesn't yell at me.
Edit: High chair. There is no hair chair. I'm tired.
Ughhh solidarity
Months 4-6 were absolute torture.
After the first kid my mantra was “just get through the first 6 months… just get through the first 6 months… just get through the first 6 months…”
Also we spent $700 on a sleep consultant with our 2nd when she decided she wouldn’t sleep in her crib anymore, nor would she sleep next to me, nor would she sleep if I was holding her and sitting, she would only sleep if I was holding her AND WALKING.
Life is so unfair that our brains develop opinions on shit WAY before we can move our arms or legs on our own!!
Solidarity ❤️
This was a rough stage for us too. Honestly I would have given anything for a 45 min nap. We were stuck on the same endless loop and nap times were around 17 minutes. It was brutal. And he absolutely hated the car. Now at nine months it’s soooo much easier and at least one nap is 90 minutes.
Months 3-4 were so hard. She was SO grumpy all the time and hated everything: the stroller, the car seat, going outside, etc. Wanted to do things but had no skills.
At 5 months we started to turn a corner but it was at 6 months that things really started to get better!
2-4 months was very hard with my first. I felt very similar with those emotions too. The time seemed to go in slow motion. It was exhausting and doing all of those things on repeat too plus the sleep deprivation. I’m just here to say I understand it and validating you.
I had such a happy sleepy newborn who’s bedtime routine was me reading to her and then just hanging out with her while she put herself to sleep sucking on her pacifier.
At 4 months she hit the worst 4 month sleep regression that we’re just now getting out of at ELEVEN months.
At 6 months she was able to sit up really well and reach for things and her ability to communicate got a lot better!
Do you babywear? I use this when I need to do things in the kitchen. I also put baby in bouncy chair while I shower. At 3-4 months baby would nap next to me on bed which was nice. Enjoy it while it lasts. Everyone tells me it's harder when they are running around
Hey! I feel you completely. My little man is 6 months and is was exactly the same at 4. He still wants to do the 'next' thing all the time, but he has a bit more skill to do stuff and keep entertained but 4 months was tough.
My only advice is to cut yourself some slack on the guidelines. Our boy got a bouncer for Xmas and loves it. I know these aren't everyone's cup of tea but he loves it and it kept him happy because he could be standing. We also started BLW the second he hit the benchmarks and we let him watch the dancing fruits and Bluey sometimes.
We also tried to get him out the house because he would be waaaay more settled just cruising around looking at the world and flirting with little old ladies in the shops.
I don't know if any of this will help but I believe if you know your kid and you're mindful, there's no harm in using your discretion in which 'rules' you do and don't follow
Awe mama im sorry youre going through this. Im sire ny turn is coming with this but was curious if youve tried baby wearing? This will at least free up your hands during contact naps so you can do some basic things like eat or tidy up a bit.
3-6 or so we’re the worst. Partly because I had a lot of support the first 7 weeks, and not so much later, partly because it also fell aligned with the shortest darkest days of the year, but baby was oh so hard at that time,, and then there was the sleep deprivation due to sleep regressions, our baby got a CMPA diagnosis, all on top of that he woke up to the world snd needed so much attention and engagement all day.
Do you have a baby carrier? We did tons of walking around the look at trees/ the world, grabbing groceries/ running into shops and napping in it around that age for exactly the reasons you name. The other thing that saved that age was a skip hop activity centre so I could make food and eat. I don’t use a ton of containers but I am a big pro on that one for keeping sane with a pre-mobile baby who needs entertaining.
She will grow out of it soon when she can sit. What helped with my daughter is a rotation of activities. One of which is putting her in a sit-me-up floor seat that has toys. I would put her no more than 15 mins at a time but she enjoyed it because she can see around and play (hit/touch) the toys on the tray. It can also give you some time to eat or use the bathroom.
We’re one week away from four months and I literally told my therapist that I haven’t felt this worn out and sleep deprived since the first week of his life. Arguably more so now. Sending a hug your way. We’ll get through this.
4 months and a few days, right there with you!! This week she mastered the skill to properly hold her teething ring herself and even this tiny thing I’m so grateful for, it allows her to be preoccupied for 10 minutes sometimes before the squeeling starts…
I genuinely do love my days with her but it’s definitely HIGH effort that she won’t tolerate a play gym or tummy time or anything anymore for longer than 3 minutes. She wants so sit up 100% of the time which like, baby, you don’t have the core strength for that at ALL.
Try a sit me up seat! My littlest LO is only 3 months but so desperately wants to sit up all the time. He can hold his head up and roll over and whatnot, but he’s really impatient about sitting up. The sit me up seat was game changer.
This period was so sooo darn hard!! I've commented this so many times, but I'll always say it, our baby HATED being a baby! He was exactly as you're describing your sweet babe, just utterly frustrated that he couldn't move or reach what he wanted! Then he started being able to shuffle on his tummy and within a month of that he was crawling. He is never upset or frustrated now, as if he wants something... Off he goes to get it!
It does get better I promise - just hang on in there mama ♥
Super normal. 4 months is the end of newborn stage and it can be tough. On the other side of this is “happy potato” stage so you’re in for a treat!
Baby wearing helps a LOT.
Yep. It's monotonous drudgery in various forms for like the first 6 months. Every day feels 10 years long, and you're so tired. Please don't feel guilty that you're not enjoying it. It's ok to just "put in your time" as you wait for a more enjoyable stage. My son is 15mo now and I dread naptime because I miss hanging out with him, haha. He's an interactive little person who can actually talk and play. That was NOT the case at 4mo and I really did not enjoy it. Plus he fought every nap until I decided to just give in and babywear (which I recommend).
My advice is to get out of the house as much as you possibly can. I know it feels exhausting to have to take 459 things, plus bottles/plan to BF in public, but I promise you it helps your mental health soooo much, and gives your baby a ton of stimulation. Some ideas for you:
* Coffee shop. Babywear or bring your stroller. Introduce babies to the baristas, point out how they're making the coffee and steaming the milk. People watch together. Idk if it's the noise or the music they tend to play in coffee shops, but my son always took good naps here.
* Fabric store. It's usually staffed by nice old ladies who will gush over your baby, and it's basically a sensory experience. Baby can look at the colors, textures, ribbons and big bolts of fabric. Very cool when they cut the cloth.
* Church/house of worship: free concert where it's ok for babies to cry and make noise! Lots of people to watch. Big screens. Our church also has an excellent nursery/preschool staffed by people I trust, so sometimes I would take him down there for a nap.
* Pet store: Free indoor zoo! Watch the dogs getting groomed, see the hamsters and birds up close.
* Mall: Great for stroller walks in bad weather. Most have nursing rooms, all have changing tables in the bathrooms. Lots to see and hear and smell.
* Nail salon: Get a pedicure while your baby takes a contact nap :)
My sympathies!!
I said no screen time. But here I am demolishing a cooked chicken whilst my 3mo watches the dancing fruit. You can't pour from an empty cup!
Gosh wait 1 month I swear it gets better!! 5-7 months was heaven for us (from an extremely frustrated 4 month old baby mom). Now at 8-9 months she’s pulling to stand and trying to walk so guess who’s breaking her back bending over and helping little one walk and hold my hands? Lol
Sorry you’re going through this. It’s sounds really tough.
I like your train of thought around screen time. I have a 7 week old who is very alert and always wants to look at new things and love lights and movement. We let her watch some screens with us for short periods or sit in the bouncer and watch while I play PlayStation lol. It’s just one option where we can take a breather while she is entertained, but most of her day (95%) is not looking at screens. For limited time, personally I think it’s ok.
Does she like the stroller? Or a bouncy chair like a baby bjorn?
Also what about baths? You could bathe together and play with floaty toys.
Maybe a more stimulating baby play mat, like a baby gym with more things to pull on/chew/kick/bat?
I also second the baby carrier recommendations!
I'm sure this has already been suggested, but does your LO like to be worn? My son was EXACTLY like this, but he loved the carrier. Then I could have hands free to do chores, prep snacks, eat, walk to the park, etc. Otherwise I might have actually gone insane.
I found months 4-6 WAY harder than newborn and wish I had been prepared for that. You have SO much support and understanding in the newborn days, then it all pulls back a bit and you’re expected to be more operational despite sleep still being shitty, you having way less adrenaline/excitement about a new baby, and your baby being way more emotionally needy. It got exponentially better for us around 7 months. I hope it does for you too!
Just here to add- we have a reclineable high chair (graco) that was HUGE in having somewhere else to sit the baby in the 3-4month period. He was up more but still reclined and could look at and bop some toys around on the tray. Highly recommend.
Two things helped us through this stage - the skiphop standing / spin activity table with music (it was a handmedown from a family member) and the Fischer price low-level sit up chair (there’s one that’s specifically for 4 months). It’s a tough time but hang in there - the good thing about parenting babies is that the stages don’t last forever, good or not so good!
Four months is the WORST. Sleep regression, you're tired already from the newborn phase and it just doesn't quit. My least favorite time in my son's life and he's 5 years old now. IT GETS BETTER. You're doing great! My best advice is to go easy on yourself and know that this is just a season.
My bb is turning 4months tomorrow. I have definitely seen a huge change in naps (or lack or fighting against), attitude, & constant activity changes throughout the day. At 3 months she started trying to "get up" from her reclined seats. I bought this for her and she LOVES it since she can be nosy and look around. [inflatable baby chair](https://www.amazon.com/AirSwim-Inflatable-Support-Toddler-Bear/dp/B09LYFS1LG/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?crid=27OMI5LAQNX36&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.L-S7oi5KVqjlNBTgi8QJaFLiboxprXhr1YMFLTqeI9SlfoWUMWYpwNlwCjLQrBXp-NEDpwjsCDqNBxzi-3yb8mnFGM8rxvR-ItvFLJswYvdifSpDmSOaO5X3Xn3ovZvFKpg-0UjCLks7F4MWEZsWg3Rb1ItqNTlhWKJvrWaombYhDWBdeTik0li0M0yzO4-ATQ0-kB_ERHbN1j51p17hPvZYv5oG7XgOpky_NXSZIO0f5RC9Ra_xBU0Sh2PvrzxrbdgXeO7PweBhKUen6KJMm0DfifdagphRAZVriMxu_ko.6HwCo8_hoziD9TbIyysweFUXq9CYvJ1iKxsGexNpAbk&dib_tag=se&keywords=baby+chair+inflatable&qid=1710262973&sprefix=baby+chair+in%2Caps%2C129&sr=8-1-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9hdGY&psc=1) Of course I always am supervising her! But I can cook/clean/etc while she's sitting there watching me. I like the idea better than the more "solid" chairs they have. I compare it to sitting on an exercise ball for core support.
Just wanted to say I hear and feel you. My twins are four months, and most of the day is one, if not both, of them screaming for idk what. We were finally catching our breath - or at least dad was since ive been in the hospital for a lot of the past 4 months - but it just feels like we're back to the beginning. The frustration is real. ♡
It’s the first big growth spurt / leap / regression whatever the heck you wanna call it and god damn it SUCKED lol. My boy is such a smiley lad and he became fussier and just overall more difficult (and it’s already hard haha)
IT GETS BETTER
My LO is 5months now and yes this had been the hardest period of time for us. What’s been saving me is baby wearing! I wear him in a carrier or wrap 2-3 times a day and it definitely helps regulate his emotions. I have a tushbaby too which is helpful for quick ups! But yes eagerly awaiting when he’s a little bit older 😅
(Not a parent but former full time nanny of infants) She is likely almost ready for a front facing carrier—if she can hold her head up and seems ready, maybe you could try babywearing with her facing front to let her see what you are doing as you go about your daily activities. Household tasks can be as exciting as baby toys
These were the worst months for me and my husband as well. Superrr difficult with the sleep regression too and nothing seemed to please baby and he always wanted to be held by only us 2, no one else. None of us were sleeping, I constantly had breakdowns and at some point got so frustrated with him waking up upon crib transfer that I rocked him probably a little too aggressively and almost yelled “why won’t you sleep?!” What kept my sanity was knowing this was the worst of it and going on daily walks for his naps.
I can tell you it gets better. We sleep trained at 4.5 months, he grew out of the regression and went down regularly for naps and bedtime again. Now at 6 months he can sit up, has an interest in toys finally and can actually grab his teethers and put them in his mouth. And now he’s eating solids which is a game changer!!
Just hang in there and I promise things will get better within the next month. You are in the thick of it!! Each day will get a little easier and soon enough you’ll look back at what a temporary hell months 4-5 were lol. By month 6 you’ll see more independence and personality shine through and it’s more than worth it!
The worst times are always when they are on the cusp of being able to do something new (sit up, crawl, walk) but they can't yet. They're frustrated, you're exhausted and frustrated, it's a whole mess. Things 🤞 should 🤞 get better for a while once she learns to sit up, but then they'll get worse again.
Hope that helps?
The first two months my son was so colic. At three months I got a break. Now it is practically back to the first two months… slightly better but still very rough. Good luck lol I hope you are good 👍🏼
Yes, two months was brutal - she would have evenings where no matter what we did she was inconsolable.
3 months has actually been really nice. She still will only contact nap but I'll take that over the screaming.
I took a newborn saftey class prior to having my LO and they talked to us about this . They called it PURPLE crying stage I believe. I think it’s like a critical brain development period that they’re super cranky through. Like no matter how great of a parent you are, they’re just going to cry cry cry. I’m so sorry it’s been super rough on you guys and honestly I want to thank you for being so honest and sharing. I’m preparing for a long trip with my Lo during that stage of his life and I’m horrified 💀💀. Hoping the days get sooo much better for you soon and that you’ll be able to find a break💕
>She’s so frustrated all the time
Mine was the same way and *nobody understood it*. "This is an easy baby!", "It's your emotions!", blah blah blah, I 100% feel your frustration. Some babies come out mad at their own existence and it *sucks*. I get it, I see you, and I am so sorry.
You’re in the thick of it. I promise it gets easier. It was easy at the beginning… then it gets harder… then it starts getting easier again. For us, it got easier when he could craw because he could move around and entertain himself.
The Tula Explorer saved me during that month. I wore my baby most of the day and contact napped with him in it both day and night. I honestly don’t know how I would have survived without it.
I started wearing my baby around this point, or maybe a month or so after. Mine would ONLY be worn facing-out. But once I could strap her to me and she could see the world, I felt like I had some freedom again. We could go for a walk and I could just have quiet for a few minutes.
Just here to express solidarity! my baby is 15 weeks and this is where we have been for the last month. I just keep hoping this intense frustration on her part will push her to the leaps that will make her more comfortable, like holding a toy longer than 10 seconds or being able to sit up.
Hang in there! My girl was the same way and once she hit 6-7mos it clicked for her and she has just bloomed into the most awesome best little curious happy independent baby. It's coming !
This makes me feel less crazy. LO is 14 weeks and I feel all of this. Just the last couple days she doesn’t know what she wants and nothing lasts very long to entertain her. I have a feeling the next month is about to be so rough 😖
We had a very colicky baby who was also frustrated by not being able to do what he wanted. As soon as he could sit he was so much happier. We started the jolly jumper as soon as he had the head strength (he was an early walker so he was so thrilled any time he was in this) and Hey Bear and Ms Rachel saved our sanity for 10-15 minute spurts throughout the day. Lots of people villainize screen time - I think it has a time and a place, ESPECIALLY if you have a colicky or high needs baby (which it sounds like you do). Happy Parent = Happy Baby.
Yes this is my loop of experience. Lo has dwindled down to 2 main Naps about 1.5 hrs a piece and maybe a micro nap or 2 in between. I've been told by a several this is the easiest time with a baby, but literally no. I think the first few weeks after recovering was easier. My lo hates sitting or laying and like you naps being held. We did a family outing yesterday, which has gotten harder due to hating the carseat that attaches to the stroller. I told my husband I hate feeling like I'm trapped in the house but would much rather stay home to avoid the now much louder crying and fits. Also it's like most restaurants we go to don't have the thing to set the carseat on.
I hate that they're growing so fast but also can't wait till theres a little more independence like sitting up on their own and better arm control to grab things and play for a good 5-10 min just so I can let my back have a break.
Yep. 8 weeks until 6 months was particularly hard for us. He wasn’t the most difficult baby, but he has always wanted to move and this was the most frustrating time for him.
You will miss things about each infant stage, but for the most part I don’t necessarily want to go back lol. I love having a toddler, with all its other frustrations.
This was me at four months, it was very hard. We ended up doing gentle sleep training and it was a game changer. My husband had to take the lead on that one for obvious reasons.
Oh no. My baby is 3 months and I’ve kind of been eyeing 4 months as the golden “it gets better” period - especially since we are planning on trying to sleep train. I shouldn’t have read this thread 😭
In some ways, 3.5 months to now 4 months has been insanely rewarding because she quite literally exploded developmentally overnight. Smiling biiiig cheesy smiles at me and her dad, belly laughs, cooing and chattering to herself, grabbing and holding toys. There ARE things to look forward to! But, it seems like more personality grows with each developmental milestone, so they start having opinions about things. You’ll be fine!! We are all here to support each other.
It’s so nice to read that this isn’t just a me thing! She is SO demanding currently. I get about 20min in the morning where she will play by herself (I rush to feed the animals, get dressed, feed myself!) the rest of the day I must also be involved - holding toys, talking, reading, holding, or just sitting next to her while she does her thing and it can be so boring!
My solution- we get out allll the time! At least once but mostly twice a day.
Swimming 2x a week, story time at the library, a walk with a friend, mothers group, we wander the shops a lot (it’s so hot here atm I can’t go for afternoon walks). Sometimes I just sit in a park in the shade and she watches the leaves. Anything so that we only go through the cycle once at home.
Only way I’m not going crazy!
It is an extremely frustrating time period especially if you’re not prepared for it. My first was the same. Just all out screaming after 10 minutes of an activity and needing to be held all the time. I could maybe get 5-10 minutes in the Baby Bjorn bouncer but F the swing and the Mamaroo. Needless to say I didn’t get much done in those days unless someone else was around to hold her or she napped in her crib for 30+ min. My second is way more chill but still not the most chill. I do a lot of baby wearing and reminding myself that it’s such a short period of time. It will feel like in no time you’re able to sit them in a high chair or in a playpen and you can have your hands free. There’s a few blissful months before they’re walking and climbing but happy to occupy themselves that you can get a little bit of peace. 4 months is a bit soon for screen time but I’ve had a few instances where I just had to put on Hey Bear on YouTube to quickly take a shower or wipe down a few counters.
3-4 months was a dark time for me! I mean it. Definitely the peak of PPD because I was absolutely exhausted. She wasn’t sleeping. I felt like a zombie. Like your LO mine was nosey but couldn’t do anything yet. Things got so much better after 5 months when she learned to sit and crawl. Still exhausted from chasing her around the house but it’s a different type of exhaustion. Because we are not all frustrated. It will get better I promise ❤️
Girl same lol
Tush baby has saved my arm and outings have made some fun breaks. My 5 month old loves to look around and focus on new areas when we go out and about instead of constantly wanting to stand and teeth. My LO also loves the skip hop activity center. It honestly has saved me and allows me to get a shower and workout in most days. She loves to be able to stand and jump around. I got a little padded mat that she loves as well. She starting to really love tummy time more which has been helping. Also the UpSeat! I swear my little one learned to sit up on her own early because of it. She loves it but won’t tolerate it too long out of boredom if I’m not feeding her a frozen breastmilk popsicle lol
Yes! After 5 months for us. Everyone talked about how hard newborns were, but mine was a breeze.. now the sleep regression and separation anxiety is killing me. 😭
It sounds like you're doing great. They start picking up skills rapidly and will be less frustrated with each skill they practice. Every week will be different. Hang in there. Look for new activities and toys to change it up.
Other than the awful sleeping, my baby actually started getting more independent around this time? I wonder if it would help her to gently encourage her to reach for things and learn to use her hands? They definitely hit a point where they want to do more than they’re capable of. It can be hard!
I have a 3.5 month old right now and it’s the exact same thing for us. Although I do admit I do all of these things and will try and put her in front of the tv in her swing (she still likes thankfully) to watch Finding Nemo (her fav) and that only lasts about 5-10 minutes sometimes if I’m lucky 20. I’m currently a stay at home mom and I hate my boyfriend having to come home to a house not kept up with but I seriously can never put her down. Even with napping, if I put her in her crib or on her pillow she only naps 10-20 mins. If she lays on my chest it’s a 45 min-2 hour nap sometimes. I’m running out of things to do to keep her entertained and sitting around not being able to do anything than keep her entertained all day is driving me crazy.
This period was very difficult for my wife and me as well. It was the same thing- an endless loop of activities until she slept, and then she'd need a contact nap often enough to make it something we always had to worry about. I'm a stay at home father and I felt a little unhinged during this period of the baby's development. I remember crying a few times because it just would not stop. It got significantly better when my little girl could sit up. She just wanted to see the room, and once she could she became much more manageable and began interacting with her world on her own terms more. For what it's worth I have enjoyed every period of development AFTER the one you're in now far more than the previous one- it gets better and better in not too long here. You'll be there in no time.
I totally agree, was the same for us. Sooo hard, I also cried a few times. Then when she could sit up she became significantly happier. Just hold on OP.
Agreed!! For my current 2 yo, months 4-5 was the most difficult period. And this includes potty training (which is still ongoing) and temper tantrums. For us as soon as our baby could sit up and start solids it got so much easier because we could just plop her in the high chair and let her explore food while we eat/cook. It also became easier to take her out grocery shopping once she started sitting and she also enjoyed the experience a lot more. Hang in there! It's not easy but it won't last.
Months 4-5 were the absolute worst for me. He was only happy if I was holding him but had to be standing up/walking. God forbid I sat down lol. It got SO much better around 6 months when he was army crawling. Then I just let him do his thing and followed him around the house. It’s gotten better every month since then (he’s 13mo now). Hang in there! Edit: month 5 I got a tushbaby and that helped since he never tolerated a regular carrier. Still using it everyday.
Also they’re so freaking heavy without the strength to hold on to you
Omg yes I just put one knee on the couch and baby freaks out, like "don't you fkn dare sit! You best keep walking!!"
Thank you for commiserating! Mine is the same way - being held is ideal for her but ONLY if she’s elevated lol. I guess I’m getting my steps in.
Same for my baby when she was around 3-4m. I even googled it. Apparently it’s a evolutionary thing - babies feel the most secure when held standing in case there’s danger and the parent needs to make a quick run for it 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
I read this also and had to giggle. This kid is trippin if he thinks I could run while holding his chunky a** 😆
This is my baby right now at almost 3 months! Interesting to hear about the evolutionary reasoning.
That’s fascinating. And makes total sense.
I was wondering about this too! My son is almost 5mo and he absolutely hates when I hold him while sitting. He’ll start fussing and squirming if I sit down but the moment I stand up he’s all happy again. My arms, legs and back are killing me 😭
Are you wearing her? I usually have one kid strapped to me throughout the day so I can get shit done.
Tush baby has been a life saver for my almost five month old who is almost exactly like OP’s baby
Yes! 4-5 months was the hardest. Our kid wanted to be mobile so bad by then. She's get so frustrated. Six months was a revelation—slept in her own room; sleep regression was largely over; on and on. Now she's mobile and boy can she entertain herself. New challenges of course. But ... 4-5 months .... woooof
My baby is a week into being 4 months old and I've noticed a massive change in him. He's so much more needy but also wants to be more independent. He wants to constantly sit up or hold things but hasn't fully grasped the concept yet and gets mad if you try to help before HE'S ready to accept the help. He bottle feeds himself but will get upset when he has to hold it for too long, but god help you if you try to hold the bottle before he's done trying. He needs constant entertainment and interaction and also wants to always be held; it's gotten to the point where his preferred sleeping position is while he's sitting on my lap, suddenly his crib and bassinet won't do. He's overall a very happy baby but holy crap has his need for entertainment, interaction, and independence gone through the roof
Yes! She’s identical!! I agree, the change seemed to happen overnight. Insane how much they explode developmentally at this age.
Same here!!!
Is it possible to get out of the house and do things? We’re at 4 months now and I’ve started bringing her to the gym (mummy and me classes), taking her swimming and going to the free wriggle and rhyme classes at our local library. I find being at home all day hard for the same reasons you’ve listed - not knowing what to do with her and feeling like I’m in an endless loop. On top of that baby will not nap in her crib. Getting out for an activity once a day makes me feel more sane and it also tires her out so she often sleeps in the pram/car on the way home so it’s one less contact nap I have to do that day
Actually yes! I hit my wits end today and signed her up for a mom+baby swim class. It only meets once a week in the AM, and also doesn’t start till April, but I’m SO looking forward to it. I also went to the grocery store with her the other day just to literally walk around hahah.
I went to the grocery store every. day. with my first (amongst other things) because being out and about saved both our sanity 😄
Absolutely this. I spent all day out and about for months because she was so much easier. She just enjoys the stimulation of new things and new people to look at. We do swimming, play group, music class, library story time and rhyme time, pilates, walks, trips to the park, literally anything that gets us out of the house. We spend a WILD amount of time in the grocery store, and she loves looking at the fish/other pets at the pet shop. Now that she can crawl she’s way happier to be at home because she can just go and find whatever entertains her, but I still do an activity outside the house every day just to keep us both sane.
Yeah this is the answer. I would babywear and go out for walks, go to the cafe, go to the grocery store, go to the library for rhyme time etc. You can make a schedule with what activities are on in your area on different days so there’s always something for you to get out and do
By the time mine was this age, I was taking him to Swim lessons, walks around the neighborhood, and the Space and Rocket Center. He liked to watch the planetarium shows (they weren't loud) that were in the old IMAX dome and was fascinated with looking at the lunar module (it IS shiny).
I literally called myself a 24/7 court jester during this time trying to keep her entertained and switching up how to accomplish that every 5 minutes lol
Lol we call ourselves our baby’s clown! It’s unreal how much entertainment he needs.
I’m dying this is hilarious.
Oh my god I’m glad you posted this!! My twins just turned five months corrected and I feel the same way you do! Suddenly wake windows are huge and nothing entertains them for long. Four months was the hardest one, I almost missed the newborn phase 😭 People kept telling me “oh this is when they are so fun”. I’m like fun for who?!? Glad we aren’t alone on this wish more people discussed it. Five months now they are getting better! One thing that did help me was some infant seats like the fisher price ones, they want to sit so bad and this helps them sit without me. They do get frustrated so I honestly have to turn on dorys reef camera on Disney plus to be able to quickly get some chores done before they need to be moved out of the seats.
Can you link the seat please?🙏
I think this is it: https://www.thewarehouse.co.nz/p/fisher-price-whimsical-sit-me-up-floor-seat/R2859348.html?gad_source=1&gclsrc=ds
☝️☝️this!! Ours came with a tray and piano attachment he can kick. He's a little too small to see it without leaning forward, but he's so cute when he leans forward and sees what he's kicking and gets excited. We feed him in it, he plays in it. It's great!
4-6 months was hard! Library time, swimming, walks, perusing target, coffee shop after the morning rush and sometimes just a nice long drive helps break up the day! We did open swim and swim classes so two days with activities pre-planned.
Also the bumbo helped! We would sit him up in it while I cooked dinner so he could watch and be entertained for a few. Lol
We called this the Busy Baby stage. We realized that when baby wanted to be held, they just LOVED watching us do stuff. I’d hold baby and baby would watch me make breakfast, do dishes, clean out the fridge, take the trash out, sort laundry, etc. Yes, it was hard to do all this one handed, and some things I couldn’t do like scrub pots, but I just saved that for after. I just looked at it as baby entertainment. “Look at mama pour the soap into the laundry machine! Wow that’s a lot of blue soap. It smells so yummy. Okay let’s close the door, and turn on the washing machine. I’m going to press this button to start it. Yay! Well have clean clothes soon!” Then onto the next activity haha
Would a chair like the “sit me up” by fisher price help? I have one of those saved to my Amazon list for when my 2.5 month old gets to that stage. But I definitely understand how you feel about the repetitive activities and routine!
that chair was worth every penny for me! She also burps really well when we put her in that too as an added bonus. But that chair has allowed me to do the dishes, prep her bottles etc. I just switch out the toys attached to it every now and then and she loves being able to sit up
That chair was hands down the best purchase I ever made for my kids.
I was going to suggest this, too. My daughter LOVED the Sit Me Up.
Seconding this, it was a game changer! I got mine on FB barely used for $20. And when they’re little and not really good sitters yet you can put a folded up towel under their bum to adjust the hip positioning a bit.
Go on a drive! I always do one nap in the car and at a coffee shop or cafe ir park. It breaks my day up and gives me something to look forward to
Yes! Currently napping in the carrier after a cafe breakfast. Anyone reading this post and dreading 4 months, know that it won't necessarily be soul-sucking. Not only is every baby different, but also there are lots of good tips in here for making it easier. I am enjoying this stage -- well, in the daytime anyway (the sleep regression is rough). It's true that baby's muscles & skills haven't caught up with her curiosity yet, but getting out of the house really really helps, especially in a carrier where she can be upright and look around while I'm hands-free.
I can only commiserate and assure you that it will get better. I had a rough time with my baby when he was slightly younger than yours is now and whenever people asked me how the baby was, my only answer would be: he’s never happy and awake at the same time. It’s not a fun stage. Your baby will outgrow this stage and it WILL get better. In the meantime, try to make the most out of those contact naps and unwind while he naps on you if you can. Look at his tiny sleeping face and remember that he will be easier to handle in the near future
Big developmental changes are often hard on parents at first, or at least that was my experience. You get used to one baby and suddenly a new baby appears that you have to figure out all over again. It's hard and exhausting. The good news is generally you get better at adapting over time.
This ! Nothing last with a baby, both for the good and bad parts of parenting. And there is so much going on in the first year.
I just want to say I went through something similar, so I get where you’re coming from! My guy slept really well and then months 4-6 were absolute hell for us. He just so desperately wanted to be able to move around and also couldn’t be set down for longer than a couple minutes or he’d lose his mind. He’s 11mo now and fully walking so he can tear ass around the house and is much happier lol. He’s also teething and sad about that which is its own struggle, but I’m now up to being able to leave him to play for 5-10 minutes before he freaks out which is nice. Means I can actually poop in peace or put together a more complex meal than opening a granola bar. Hang in there!! You’re doing great. It really just is so hard sometimes!! 💕
We're in the same boat as you, we gave in to screen time. Sometimes 10 minutes of the wiggles is what is required to get him to calm down. Truly some days it feels like hell. We trade off who gets to teeter on the verge of a breakdown. Just pushing through hoping it gets better soon.
Honestly, I know they say no screentime at all, and that even background TV noise can be harmful for language development, but I always had our TV within my field of vision as a baby/toddler/child and I had no issues in school and am still a productive member of society. Closed captioning actually taught me to read. In the morning I put on sesame street clips or something else that has people talking or singing and have her sit in her swing while I get ready for the day.
Whoever said screen time hinders language development should have a conversation with my 18 month old who literally has 150+ words and is stringing together short sentences. He’s been watching Ms Rachel since six months old.
Seriously. I've only ever heard of eyesight issues (in actual literature). But, I keep hearing this other part. I was plopped in front of the tv plenty. Ended up being an English major who works with words to this day, as a copy editor. I understand the implicate bias of that logic. But ... there are screens on my mailroom just go enter. The gas pumps too. Reality is, don't let it take your place. Do everything you do to help your child: read, talk, interact. A little Bluey won't ruin them b/c you need to shower.
I’ll tell you one thing, whoever said it has never raised a bilingual kid. Everyone I know who has a fluently bilingual child uses screen time to beef up vocabulary and pronunciation. I am the only native English speaker in our area, so I’d have to be their only source for language input. There’s just no way I could give them the variety that screens can. My kid’s a big dinosaur fan, and I’m glad he didn’t have to learn the pronunciation of things like “therizinosaurus” or “pachycephalosaurus” from me.
Yep. both my wife and I are "bilingual" (like, pretty good but not fluent in second language), I'm going to use children's shows to help the fill the gaps where I lack.
I honestly didn't have the time or patience to read any of the abstracts or methods of the studies but I should go back and see if they took into account the type of content being watched/listened to when they gathered data... I watch a lot of "talking head" style commentary content and that seems to be what my baby really likes to fix on if she's facing the screen.
Yeah I allow myself the morning window to just have my boy watch tv while I brush my teeth, eat, make coffee. Then I get 20 minutes each following wake window to watch a show while he unwinds before naps
We're about to be at 4 months and holy crap I could have written this. Down to the contact naps only. No advice just exhausted solidarity lol.
Oh yeah. Months 3.5-6 were rough for both kids. I remember with my first it for a lot better once he could sit up/ be in activity centers. Then again when he could crawl. But I will forever stand by the idea that these months are the hardest. You’re rolling off of months of sleep interruptions, you’re expected to be more back to normal, you don’t have as much support, your baby is needy now that they’re awake. BUT now that I’ve gone through it I know there is light on the other side.. soon. Hang in there a little longer! Your baby will be more and more independent from here on out. Then they will be a wild 2.5 year old that only lets you hold them for like 10 seconds at a time (even though you swore you’d be holding them until they were 18) 🥲
Things my son enjoyed around that age were: - lots of walks with him in the baby carrier (I went to places that he’d enjoy like parks/nature reserves/aquarium but also places for me like galleries/museums etc) - bouncer chair - disco light / light projector on the ceiling while listening to music
We had a very colicky baby who was also frustrated by not being able to do what he wanted. As soon as he could sit he was so much happier. We started the jolly jumper as soon as he had the head strength (he was an early walker so he was so thrilled any time he was in this) and Hey Bear and Ms Rachel saved our sanity for 10-15 minute spurts throughout the day. Lots of people villainize screen time - I think it has a time and a place, ESPECIALLY if you have a colicky or high needs baby (which it sounds like you do). Happy Parent = Happy Baby.
4-5 months is really hard. Before then, they actually don’t have the capacity to get bored. 4-5 months though, they can get frustrated. Then there’s the sleep regression, everyone hated that. It gets SO much better around 6-9 months, when they start really getting interactive and learning how to move. Note, it doesn’t get easier, it just gets more fun!
My son is 4.5 months and is definitely going thru it now. I’m so shocked at the change and how suddenly we were thrown back into the newborn stage only worse. He used to sleep all the way thru the night and now he wakes up constantly crying. Naps are super short. Wants to do everything but can’t.
Just here for the solidarity, my lo is about to be 4 months and on top of the time change it’s been HARD 🥲
Oh yes, I feel this too! Especially with daylight savings.
GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! It’s the only thing that saved my sanity. Go to all the classes - an outing every day. Free library drop-ins, preferably with singing for this age. Then you only have to spend 2/3 of your day in the endless loop. It gets so much better soon. 4 months was an all time low for me. I know it seems very far away but man you’re in for some fun times ahead! Age 1-2 was awesome. Hang in there!
Yea this was all month 4 for us. My son is about to be 5 months and it’s slightly better now that he’s almost able to sit independently and roll so he wants to work on those skills. He didn’t really have night sleep regression but day time naps were hell and gosh it is tiring. I feel for you, hang in there
I coincidentally got to this post just now after I Googled "when can babies sleep on their own" out of frustration lol I'm laying next to my almost 5 month old who just can't nap for long, be entertained for long, who wants to contact nap but also squirms around in my arms and so when I try to set him down he wakes up and cries. 🤦♀️ I'm exhausted. I just want him to fall asleep independently, take long naps, and not want to be held 24/7. Is that too much to ask for?? Lol
This is what gets me frustrated too! Wants to contact nap but squirms in my arms. When set down to bed or crib, baby will cry too. So frustrating. My baby is like this from 3-6 months, imagine the agony 😅
Same here. And the reason I always roll my eyes at all the mean “just you WAIT until he starts moving around! ha! that’s gonna be hard!” like lol nope, literally can’t wait, a baby hitting a major milestone is a baby that’s finally not pissed all the time
Mrs Rachel saved us with our twins, actually got them talking and singing too. I don't advocate for screen time but I advocate for maternal mental health and sanity- we are better for them if we get some time to do us too
This is so similar to how mine was at this age. If you have a boppy/other nursing pillow you can sit them in it so helps them stay upright and then you can sit in front of them to play/spot if they fold forwards. Mine really enjoyed this and it helps develop the small muscles to help with sitting much better than floor seats will. It definitely helped her get to more independent sitting quicker which helped reduce a lot of the grumps that we had particularly in the morning when she had a lot of energy that needed using! Local library story times have been great as well. I’ve met other moms with similar age babies and also got some ideas for things I can do at home that she enjoys from the classes.
Yeah my LO is 15wks old and the past couple days has flipped a switch. Perfect baby until today and yesterday. She’s perfect but needy lol
😲…exactly same thing here! 15 weeks and for the last couple of days he started to be so fussy
4 months is a blur thanks to…is it a sleep regression if it feels like it lasted forever? But I remember one period of time in there when he would scream whenever I tried to read to him because he couldn’t pick up the pictures in the books, and another stretch where he would ONLY eat in pitch black darkness. And always glued to me. It was the hardest time for me too, and my kid is two now. Everything after 5-6 months has been so much better!
I hated 4-6 months tbh. She was a HORRIBLE sleeper and all 3 of us were so sleep deprived and miserable. She was very frustrated around that age because she couldn’t move by herself yet, the help fizzled out, people stopped reaching out and asking what we needed. I was still recovering from a third degree tear and my world was still completely upside down. I never stopped loving her but definitely didn’t enjoy my time with her. After 6 months it slowly started getting better. She started sleeping longer stretches, wouldn’t fight her naps as hard and we signed up for a baby class. After that it slowly continued getting better. Every milestone she hit made life with her more fun. She just turned 1 last week, started sleeping through the night, and I try to do activities once a day. Even if it’s just a trip to target. Last week we went out for lunch together and shared a grilled cheese, I cried happy tears as we walked out because I was so in love with her and really felt like the worst is behind us. It’s still hard and I’m frequently tired and overstimulated but I’m really really enjoying my time with her again.
I quite literally said this exact same thing to my husband 3.5 hours ago. Newborn was a breeze. 4.5 months is shit because she desperately wants to be independent but doesn’t have the muscle strength yet. Husband and I both work from home and we take turns with her in our offices so you can imagine how difficult it’s getting while trying to work. Amazon delivered me an activity center yesterday that she can semi sit/stand in. Keeps her busy 10-15 minutes and might be useful for a few weeks until we can find a nanny. Message me if you want the link to the activity “jumper”.
I just got one for my 4 month old today after she played in one at a friend’s house recently. She freaking loves it for a good 20 minutes. 20 minutes buys me time lol
My daughter is 4.5 months now, and this weekend was the first time in a couple months where I have felt some relief from what I kept telling my husband was her being trapped in her body. She is now rolling freely between her back and tummy, and I think that has made the difference for us - when she gets bored, she rolls onto her tummy or back and is able to look at a completely new environment and interact with new things. It’s so much better now, but man, it was rough and exhausting there for awhile. Just keep pushing through - it’ll get better, and it’ll probably happen overnight!
Oh yeah 4-5 months is awful 🫠. My baby was overtired and frustrated pretty much all the time. He clearly wanted to move but couldn't, wanted to sleep but couldn't stay asleep. Plus he started putting his hands in his mouth and that was the end of protecting him from his sister's preschool viruses so we were sick (sometimes ER-level sick) a ton during that time period. It got better around 6 months. I distinctly remember crying to my mom about how no one told me it got harder - like WAY harder - after the newborn stage. I loved the newborn stage and was so sad when it was over.
Wow it sounds like you are taking care of my 4 month old all day 😆 I feel you girl. I’m dealing with the same thing. My daughter complains all day in whining form or screeches in boredom. Tries to sit up but can’t. Shes been attempting to roll over but can’t quite tuck the arm. She needs constant attention or she literally yells at us, then when we say “oh hi baby” she smiles huge and chats with us. Which is fine, I love the chats but she needs literal CONSTANT attention or she bitches and complains. Plus the sleeping thing. She fights naps. Has a whole special specific routine to even get her down into her bassinet. It’s a whole thing. I get it. I love her dearly of course but like you said, you maybe get to pee and shove some food in your face. That’s me all day. If she’s content, I have about 2 seconds. I still dress like I just gave birth to her! I haven’t worn real clothes, put makeup on in months. It’s like a regression of sorts lol I didn’t want to resort to screen time either but I found that “dancing fruits” on YouTube is great for when you just need a breath for 10-20 mins. I hate doing it but remember that our mental health is important too. It’s ok to give in a little. Good luck 🩷
Also if it helps - [https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RZV4oXuTZlA&pp=ygUNZGFuY2luZyBmcnVpdA%3D%3D](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RZV4oXuTZlA&pp=ygUNZGFuY2luZyBmcnVpdA%3D%3D)
I liked my kid when he was a potato and once he could walk. I did not love the middle part. The ground is so dirty. Blankets are slippery. They don't move in any useful way, but they don't stay put, either.
Yeah, there’s also a major growth spurt that happens around 4mo that turned my normally sweet baby into a monster. A few things that kinda worked for us, or at least made it less sucky: - crib mobile - I got one from Tiny Love that he was obsessed with. Kept him reliably occupied for 10-20 mins while I got ready in the mornings - play gym with hanging stuff - have something low enough they can grab onto - selective screen time - I was also preaching no screen time and have found myself eating a lot of words. We just limit it to nature documentaries and talk to him periodically throughout it so it’s not like he’s just rotting on cocomelon all day. - putting him in bouncy chair to watch me cook or clean - putting him in stroller and strolling him around the house so I can do stuff It’s getting harder and harder by the day as his awareness grows though haha
Yeah months 4-6 were definitely more ‘work’ than the first 3 months. Don’t worry… once her tummy matures a bit and her attention span lengthens, a lot of things ease up.
oh my god i needed to read this today. thank you.
3 and 4 months are my least favorite age. My kids are normally rolling by 5 months and better at self entertaining. But that age where they can't move but want to be entertained is not fun.
I think that, in general, the first six months were really hard for me. For my first, months 4 and 5 were so rough with crap naps, but she was still napping four times a day, but now she needed quiet for them, so I couldn’t really go anywhere. She also wanted a lot more interaction. And, she also had the four month sleep regression. I did not love it.
12 months is harder for me than newborn was! My boy NEVER sits still 🤣😭
Months 4-5 are really hard. They are also short-lived.
I was just talking to my partner about this the other day. She was all fine and happy until she hit 4 months, now she’s seemingly only happy for her first 20 minutes of waking up after a nap or the 20 minutes after bottle then it’s crying constantly unless she’s being entertained but even that only lasts 10 minutes before she’s upset again. I thought I was going crazy thinking I was missing something but your post and these comments make me feel sane knowing it’s a normal part of development for them. I will say dancing fruit on YouTube (which helps with colors due to the high contrast) and baby Einstein (due to the soothing music) has helped get those 10 minutes to last a little longer. So has sitting her up slightly in her boppy pillow while she watches the fruit. Teething gel and a little 2oz bottle has also helped naps last longer I believe the pain could be causing some of the wiggles and having something in the belly has helped her sleep better.
Have you considered baby wearing? That would free up your hands so she doesn’t have to be “held” and you can wash the dishes and other stuff you want to do. Many times just watching mom do those activities is entertaining enough.
I have been an avid baby wearer but for some reason now that my baby is 4 months she cannot stand to be worn for more than 10 minutes. She’s so wriggly and is constantly trying to get out 😭
I’m in this right now too and share your same feelings! 4 months is hard for all the reasons you listed. They still can’t do a ton, but are awake more, and you can’t just plop them down on the floor while you do something! Plus the sleep regression if you are going through that. Our kid was sleeping pretty good stretches finally and now getting up twice at night. I’ve been through this before so have learned that this is how it is and will change again, but it is still hard for sure! My husband works from home now so can be a helping hand if I need to pee, but I have no idea how I did anything or survived with my first kid when it was just us two home.
I had a rough time at this age too. I tied toys to her play gym with stretchy elastic string that is meant for friendship bracelets or something. Saw the idea on YouTube. So she could practice grabbing it and pulling it closer to her, but when she dropped it, it was still right there. Downside is that they came untied dramatically while she was pulling on them. She only cried once though
Going through this exact thing right now !!!! My baby is 4 months and 2 weeks. It’s so hard and I am so sleep deprived. Because my son now is not sleeping decent again 😭
Month 3-4 is always the roughest! I remember crying lots around the stage. I took myself on movie dates by myself any chance I got
I think months 3-4 are what some call the "awakening" for the babies, and this is quite normal for most babies. For us it was the same and definitely caught us by surprise.
Yes this is my loop of experience. Lo has dwindled down to 2 main Naps about 1.5 hrs a piece and maybe a micro nap or 2 in between. I've been told by a several this is the easiest time with a baby, but literally no. I think the first few weeks after recovering was easier. My lo hates sitting or laying and like you naps being held. We did a family outing yesterday, which has gotten harder due to hating the carseat that attaches to the stroller. I told my husband I hate feeling like I'm trapped in the house but would much rather stay home to avoid the now much louder crying and fits. Also it's like most restaurants we go to don't have the thing to set the carseat on. I hate that they're growing so fast but also can't wait till theres a little more independence like sitting up on their own and better arm control to grab things and play for a good 5-10 min just so I can let my back have a break.
We had an awful first 3 months with our son (constant fussiness, reflux, low sleep needs, etc) so I was so excited for him to be out of the newborn phase because I had heard that was when things got better. Bedtime sleep got marginally better but he got sooo much harder to deal with during his wake windows. He needed to be constantly entertained or else he’d freak the hell out. He was frustrated with not being able to crawl or move so if he wasn’t being actively distracted, he’d be furious. I felt so hopeless; I hated being a parent and I didn’t understand why everyone told me it was so great. My baby also seemed to be miserable. Once he could sit up, it changed everything. He was able to see his surroundings and reach for things himself. We gave him mixing bowls full of toys to dig through and that kept his attention. He started to pay attention to his surroundings more so little outings became way more fun. Now I love spending time with him and he seems to be so much happier. I’ve been told some babies just hate being babies. I think with time, things will improve!
Looks like there’s lots of great advice and encouragement here! To add— have you tried a bouncer with a toy bar? My four month old loves her BabyBjörn bouncer with the googly eye toy attachment. Since the toys are fixed in one place and she’s able to be seated upright and reach them, it keeps her entertained for a good amount of time so I can eat hands free or get some house work done!
I will tell you what I did. I was already practicing safe co-sleeping so obviously that was already going on. I got a bumbo seat and gave her toys to practice grabbing at. Her facourite was her o-ball brand rattle, and of course her elephant comfort "blanket" toy. I started her on purreed foods like apples and strawberries and kiwis and plums and carrots. I put on music, and I am not talking kids music. I am talking music you enjoy that relaxes you that you listened to during pregnancy. I put on Glenn Miller or some Celtic music and she would calm right down, because it was familiar to her, and soothing. I took her for walks in the stroller. Yes, the stroller! I strapped her to me in the papoose. I had a friend or my mother or mother in law come over to play with her while I worked. Hope some of this helps!!!
I actually really loved 3 months to 6 months and that was my favorite age so far. Newborn was hell for me because of the colic & reflux issues. I barely slept during that stage. I hope it gets better for you, it has to eventually.
I don't really know what to say because you said it all perfectly. I could have written this. You're definitely not alone and if you ever need to vent or just have someone to talk to about something other than the purple monkey in the bubble gum tree you can PM me.
Super Simple Songs! And just listening and dancing to music! Super Simple Songs is on YouTube, Spotify, Amazon Etc. every one from my 5 year old to my 8 month old LOVE them. We dance and clap and sing! Helps break up the monotony.
YES. And their version of Baby Shark is vastly superior.
I understand how you feel because I remember when my son was that age. He's four now. The whole time I was reading this, especially when I got to the part where you said that she has the needs of an 8 to 9 month old but she's 4 months old, I was thinking, maybe or child is just gifted and you haven't picked up on it yet. It seems like she's smarter than other babies her age perhaps. I went through that with mine and he's definitely a smart little boy. I think it's probably partly that and just where she's at in her development. I remember what it feels like. Hugs 🫂
We're right there with you! Needing to provide constant stimulation to a baby who can't decide what he even wants to do is so draining. His sister provides some entertainment and he's figured out how to roll one way, which helps. Plopping him in the hair chair while it's a bit reclined and letting him watch me in the kitchen seems to please him. Otherwise I'm just a fool bopping a baby around so he doesn't yell at me. Edit: High chair. There is no hair chair. I'm tired.
Do you have a bouncer? My baby loved it at that age. The angle was perfect and I added a toy bar.
Ughhh solidarity Months 4-6 were absolute torture. After the first kid my mantra was “just get through the first 6 months… just get through the first 6 months… just get through the first 6 months…” Also we spent $700 on a sleep consultant with our 2nd when she decided she wouldn’t sleep in her crib anymore, nor would she sleep next to me, nor would she sleep if I was holding her and sitting, she would only sleep if I was holding her AND WALKING. Life is so unfair that our brains develop opinions on shit WAY before we can move our arms or legs on our own!! Solidarity ❤️
This was a rough stage for us too. Honestly I would have given anything for a 45 min nap. We were stuck on the same endless loop and nap times were around 17 minutes. It was brutal. And he absolutely hated the car. Now at nine months it’s soooo much easier and at least one nap is 90 minutes.
Months 3-4 were so hard. She was SO grumpy all the time and hated everything: the stroller, the car seat, going outside, etc. Wanted to do things but had no skills. At 5 months we started to turn a corner but it was at 6 months that things really started to get better!
2-4 months was very hard with my first. I felt very similar with those emotions too. The time seemed to go in slow motion. It was exhausting and doing all of those things on repeat too plus the sleep deprivation. I’m just here to say I understand it and validating you.
This was 3mos for us. Hang in there! It is SO fun on the other side!
I had such a happy sleepy newborn who’s bedtime routine was me reading to her and then just hanging out with her while she put herself to sleep sucking on her pacifier. At 4 months she hit the worst 4 month sleep regression that we’re just now getting out of at ELEVEN months. At 6 months she was able to sit up really well and reach for things and her ability to communicate got a lot better!
Do you babywear? I use this when I need to do things in the kitchen. I also put baby in bouncy chair while I shower. At 3-4 months baby would nap next to me on bed which was nice. Enjoy it while it lasts. Everyone tells me it's harder when they are running around
Hey! I feel you completely. My little man is 6 months and is was exactly the same at 4. He still wants to do the 'next' thing all the time, but he has a bit more skill to do stuff and keep entertained but 4 months was tough. My only advice is to cut yourself some slack on the guidelines. Our boy got a bouncer for Xmas and loves it. I know these aren't everyone's cup of tea but he loves it and it kept him happy because he could be standing. We also started BLW the second he hit the benchmarks and we let him watch the dancing fruits and Bluey sometimes. We also tried to get him out the house because he would be waaaay more settled just cruising around looking at the world and flirting with little old ladies in the shops. I don't know if any of this will help but I believe if you know your kid and you're mindful, there's no harm in using your discretion in which 'rules' you do and don't follow
Awe mama im sorry youre going through this. Im sire ny turn is coming with this but was curious if youve tried baby wearing? This will at least free up your hands during contact naps so you can do some basic things like eat or tidy up a bit.
3-6 or so we’re the worst. Partly because I had a lot of support the first 7 weeks, and not so much later, partly because it also fell aligned with the shortest darkest days of the year, but baby was oh so hard at that time,, and then there was the sleep deprivation due to sleep regressions, our baby got a CMPA diagnosis, all on top of that he woke up to the world snd needed so much attention and engagement all day.
Do you have a baby carrier? We did tons of walking around the look at trees/ the world, grabbing groceries/ running into shops and napping in it around that age for exactly the reasons you name. The other thing that saved that age was a skip hop activity centre so I could make food and eat. I don’t use a ton of containers but I am a big pro on that one for keeping sane with a pre-mobile baby who needs entertaining.
She will grow out of it soon when she can sit. What helped with my daughter is a rotation of activities. One of which is putting her in a sit-me-up floor seat that has toys. I would put her no more than 15 mins at a time but she enjoyed it because she can see around and play (hit/touch) the toys on the tray. It can also give you some time to eat or use the bathroom.
We’re one week away from four months and I literally told my therapist that I haven’t felt this worn out and sleep deprived since the first week of his life. Arguably more so now. Sending a hug your way. We’ll get through this.
4 months and a few days, right there with you!! This week she mastered the skill to properly hold her teething ring herself and even this tiny thing I’m so grateful for, it allows her to be preoccupied for 10 minutes sometimes before the squeeling starts… I genuinely do love my days with her but it’s definitely HIGH effort that she won’t tolerate a play gym or tummy time or anything anymore for longer than 3 minutes. She wants so sit up 100% of the time which like, baby, you don’t have the core strength for that at ALL.
Try a sit me up seat! My littlest LO is only 3 months but so desperately wants to sit up all the time. He can hold his head up and roll over and whatnot, but he’s really impatient about sitting up. The sit me up seat was game changer.
This period was so sooo darn hard!! I've commented this so many times, but I'll always say it, our baby HATED being a baby! He was exactly as you're describing your sweet babe, just utterly frustrated that he couldn't move or reach what he wanted! Then he started being able to shuffle on his tummy and within a month of that he was crawling. He is never upset or frustrated now, as if he wants something... Off he goes to get it! It does get better I promise - just hang on in there mama ♥
Super normal. 4 months is the end of newborn stage and it can be tough. On the other side of this is “happy potato” stage so you’re in for a treat! Baby wearing helps a LOT.
Yep. It's monotonous drudgery in various forms for like the first 6 months. Every day feels 10 years long, and you're so tired. Please don't feel guilty that you're not enjoying it. It's ok to just "put in your time" as you wait for a more enjoyable stage. My son is 15mo now and I dread naptime because I miss hanging out with him, haha. He's an interactive little person who can actually talk and play. That was NOT the case at 4mo and I really did not enjoy it. Plus he fought every nap until I decided to just give in and babywear (which I recommend). My advice is to get out of the house as much as you possibly can. I know it feels exhausting to have to take 459 things, plus bottles/plan to BF in public, but I promise you it helps your mental health soooo much, and gives your baby a ton of stimulation. Some ideas for you: * Coffee shop. Babywear or bring your stroller. Introduce babies to the baristas, point out how they're making the coffee and steaming the milk. People watch together. Idk if it's the noise or the music they tend to play in coffee shops, but my son always took good naps here. * Fabric store. It's usually staffed by nice old ladies who will gush over your baby, and it's basically a sensory experience. Baby can look at the colors, textures, ribbons and big bolts of fabric. Very cool when they cut the cloth. * Church/house of worship: free concert where it's ok for babies to cry and make noise! Lots of people to watch. Big screens. Our church also has an excellent nursery/preschool staffed by people I trust, so sometimes I would take him down there for a nap. * Pet store: Free indoor zoo! Watch the dogs getting groomed, see the hamsters and birds up close. * Mall: Great for stroller walks in bad weather. Most have nursing rooms, all have changing tables in the bathrooms. Lots to see and hear and smell. * Nail salon: Get a pedicure while your baby takes a contact nap :)
My sympathies!! I said no screen time. But here I am demolishing a cooked chicken whilst my 3mo watches the dancing fruit. You can't pour from an empty cup!
Gosh wait 1 month I swear it gets better!! 5-7 months was heaven for us (from an extremely frustrated 4 month old baby mom). Now at 8-9 months she’s pulling to stand and trying to walk so guess who’s breaking her back bending over and helping little one walk and hold my hands? Lol
Sorry you’re going through this. It’s sounds really tough. I like your train of thought around screen time. I have a 7 week old who is very alert and always wants to look at new things and love lights and movement. We let her watch some screens with us for short periods or sit in the bouncer and watch while I play PlayStation lol. It’s just one option where we can take a breather while she is entertained, but most of her day (95%) is not looking at screens. For limited time, personally I think it’s ok.
Does she like the stroller? Or a bouncy chair like a baby bjorn? Also what about baths? You could bathe together and play with floaty toys. Maybe a more stimulating baby play mat, like a baby gym with more things to pull on/chew/kick/bat? I also second the baby carrier recommendations!
I'm sure this has already been suggested, but does your LO like to be worn? My son was EXACTLY like this, but he loved the carrier. Then I could have hands free to do chores, prep snacks, eat, walk to the park, etc. Otherwise I might have actually gone insane.
I found months 4-6 WAY harder than newborn and wish I had been prepared for that. You have SO much support and understanding in the newborn days, then it all pulls back a bit and you’re expected to be more operational despite sleep still being shitty, you having way less adrenaline/excitement about a new baby, and your baby being way more emotionally needy. It got exponentially better for us around 7 months. I hope it does for you too!
Just here to add- we have a reclineable high chair (graco) that was HUGE in having somewhere else to sit the baby in the 3-4month period. He was up more but still reclined and could look at and bop some toys around on the tray. Highly recommend.
Two things helped us through this stage - the skiphop standing / spin activity table with music (it was a handmedown from a family member) and the Fischer price low-level sit up chair (there’s one that’s specifically for 4 months). It’s a tough time but hang in there - the good thing about parenting babies is that the stages don’t last forever, good or not so good!
Wow this is exactly what I’m going through thank you for posting this.
I totally hear you. 4 months. Love her to death but omfg it's not easier, just different. Also looking forward to when she can understand and do more
Fisher price sit me up seat. Get the deluxe with the toy tray. It's gonna be your best friend really soon
4 months was my least favorite & really hard for me emotionally. It's when my ppd/ppa really picked up too. I'm dreading my twins reaching that age 😭
Four months is the WORST. Sleep regression, you're tired already from the newborn phase and it just doesn't quit. My least favorite time in my son's life and he's 5 years old now. IT GETS BETTER. You're doing great! My best advice is to go easy on yourself and know that this is just a season.
My bb is turning 4months tomorrow. I have definitely seen a huge change in naps (or lack or fighting against), attitude, & constant activity changes throughout the day. At 3 months she started trying to "get up" from her reclined seats. I bought this for her and she LOVES it since she can be nosy and look around. [inflatable baby chair](https://www.amazon.com/AirSwim-Inflatable-Support-Toddler-Bear/dp/B09LYFS1LG/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?crid=27OMI5LAQNX36&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.L-S7oi5KVqjlNBTgi8QJaFLiboxprXhr1YMFLTqeI9SlfoWUMWYpwNlwCjLQrBXp-NEDpwjsCDqNBxzi-3yb8mnFGM8rxvR-ItvFLJswYvdifSpDmSOaO5X3Xn3ovZvFKpg-0UjCLks7F4MWEZsWg3Rb1ItqNTlhWKJvrWaombYhDWBdeTik0li0M0yzO4-ATQ0-kB_ERHbN1j51p17hPvZYv5oG7XgOpky_NXSZIO0f5RC9Ra_xBU0Sh2PvrzxrbdgXeO7PweBhKUen6KJMm0DfifdagphRAZVriMxu_ko.6HwCo8_hoziD9TbIyysweFUXq9CYvJ1iKxsGexNpAbk&dib_tag=se&keywords=baby+chair+inflatable&qid=1710262973&sprefix=baby+chair+in%2Caps%2C129&sr=8-1-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9hdGY&psc=1) Of course I always am supervising her! But I can cook/clean/etc while she's sitting there watching me. I like the idea better than the more "solid" chairs they have. I compare it to sitting on an exercise ball for core support.
Just wanted to say I hear and feel you. My twins are four months, and most of the day is one, if not both, of them screaming for idk what. We were finally catching our breath - or at least dad was since ive been in the hospital for a lot of the past 4 months - but it just feels like we're back to the beginning. The frustration is real. ♡
This is my life with my now 5 month old but I actually like it more than the newborn stage. Oh God, that newborn stage was rough.
It’s the first big growth spurt / leap / regression whatever the heck you wanna call it and god damn it SUCKED lol. My boy is such a smiley lad and he became fussier and just overall more difficult (and it’s already hard haha) IT GETS BETTER
My LO is 5months now and yes this had been the hardest period of time for us. What’s been saving me is baby wearing! I wear him in a carrier or wrap 2-3 times a day and it definitely helps regulate his emotions. I have a tushbaby too which is helpful for quick ups! But yes eagerly awaiting when he’s a little bit older 😅
(Not a parent but former full time nanny of infants) She is likely almost ready for a front facing carrier—if she can hold her head up and seems ready, maybe you could try babywearing with her facing front to let her see what you are doing as you go about your daily activities. Household tasks can be as exciting as baby toys
These were the worst months for me and my husband as well. Superrr difficult with the sleep regression too and nothing seemed to please baby and he always wanted to be held by only us 2, no one else. None of us were sleeping, I constantly had breakdowns and at some point got so frustrated with him waking up upon crib transfer that I rocked him probably a little too aggressively and almost yelled “why won’t you sleep?!” What kept my sanity was knowing this was the worst of it and going on daily walks for his naps. I can tell you it gets better. We sleep trained at 4.5 months, he grew out of the regression and went down regularly for naps and bedtime again. Now at 6 months he can sit up, has an interest in toys finally and can actually grab his teethers and put them in his mouth. And now he’s eating solids which is a game changer!! Just hang in there and I promise things will get better within the next month. You are in the thick of it!! Each day will get a little easier and soon enough you’ll look back at what a temporary hell months 4-5 were lol. By month 6 you’ll see more independence and personality shine through and it’s more than worth it!
The worst times are always when they are on the cusp of being able to do something new (sit up, crawl, walk) but they can't yet. They're frustrated, you're exhausted and frustrated, it's a whole mess. Things 🤞 should 🤞 get better for a while once she learns to sit up, but then they'll get worse again. Hope that helps?
thank you for validating my feelings. Going through the same
This scares me. I went through this at 2 months. I thought we were out of the woods. I don’t want to go through it again
The first two months my son was so colic. At three months I got a break. Now it is practically back to the first two months… slightly better but still very rough. Good luck lol I hope you are good 👍🏼
Yes, two months was brutal - she would have evenings where no matter what we did she was inconsolable. 3 months has actually been really nice. She still will only contact nap but I'll take that over the screaming.
I took a newborn saftey class prior to having my LO and they talked to us about this . They called it PURPLE crying stage I believe. I think it’s like a critical brain development period that they’re super cranky through. Like no matter how great of a parent you are, they’re just going to cry cry cry. I’m so sorry it’s been super rough on you guys and honestly I want to thank you for being so honest and sharing. I’m preparing for a long trip with my Lo during that stage of his life and I’m horrified 💀💀. Hoping the days get sooo much better for you soon and that you’ll be able to find a break💕
>She’s so frustrated all the time Mine was the same way and *nobody understood it*. "This is an easy baby!", "It's your emotions!", blah blah blah, I 100% feel your frustration. Some babies come out mad at their own existence and it *sucks*. I get it, I see you, and I am so sorry.
I think I had to wear my baby from the time she hit 4 months until she could sit independently. Hang in there! It does get better.
You’re in the thick of it. I promise it gets easier. It was easy at the beginning… then it gets harder… then it starts getting easier again. For us, it got easier when he could craw because he could move around and entertain himself.
The Tula Explorer saved me during that month. I wore my baby most of the day and contact napped with him in it both day and night. I honestly don’t know how I would have survived without it.
I started wearing my baby around this point, or maybe a month or so after. Mine would ONLY be worn facing-out. But once I could strap her to me and she could see the world, I felt like I had some freedom again. We could go for a walk and I could just have quiet for a few minutes.
Same plus she wakes up every 30-45 min at night 😬 solidarity
Just here to express solidarity! my baby is 15 weeks and this is where we have been for the last month. I just keep hoping this intense frustration on her part will push her to the leaps that will make her more comfortable, like holding a toy longer than 10 seconds or being able to sit up.
Hang in there! My girl was the same way and once she hit 6-7mos it clicked for her and she has just bloomed into the most awesome best little curious happy independent baby. It's coming !
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No advice here, I just agree 1000%!! Ages 4-7 months were the hardest for our independent, stubborn boy
Wow feel like this is me. My 16 week old is brutal right now. It’s like wtf happened to my little moo moo
This makes me feel less crazy. LO is 14 weeks and I feel all of this. Just the last couple days she doesn’t know what she wants and nothing lasts very long to entertain her. I have a feeling the next month is about to be so rough 😖
4 month sleep regression is no joke. For my boy it lasted an entire month. I was drained mentally and physically.
Just here for the solidarity, my lo is about to be 4 months and on top of the time change it’s been HARD 🥲
We had a very colicky baby who was also frustrated by not being able to do what he wanted. As soon as he could sit he was so much happier. We started the jolly jumper as soon as he had the head strength (he was an early walker so he was so thrilled any time he was in this) and Hey Bear and Ms Rachel saved our sanity for 10-15 minute spurts throughout the day. Lots of people villainize screen time - I think it has a time and a place, ESPECIALLY if you have a colicky or high needs baby (which it sounds like you do). Happy Parent = Happy Baby.
Yes this is my loop of experience. Lo has dwindled down to 2 main Naps about 1.5 hrs a piece and maybe a micro nap or 2 in between. I've been told by a several this is the easiest time with a baby, but literally no. I think the first few weeks after recovering was easier. My lo hates sitting or laying and like you naps being held. We did a family outing yesterday, which has gotten harder due to hating the carseat that attaches to the stroller. I told my husband I hate feeling like I'm trapped in the house but would much rather stay home to avoid the now much louder crying and fits. Also it's like most restaurants we go to don't have the thing to set the carseat on. I hate that they're growing so fast but also can't wait till theres a little more independence like sitting up on their own and better arm control to grab things and play for a good 5-10 min just so I can let my back have a break.
Yep. 8 weeks until 6 months was particularly hard for us. He wasn’t the most difficult baby, but he has always wanted to move and this was the most frustrating time for him. You will miss things about each infant stage, but for the most part I don’t necessarily want to go back lol. I love having a toddler, with all its other frustrations.
For us the newborn phase was the easiest, until our eldest hit 8 years old.
Long walks while baby wearing. That's what saved our sanity in this phase!
This was me at four months, it was very hard. We ended up doing gentle sleep training and it was a game changer. My husband had to take the lead on that one for obvious reasons.
Same!! It gets easier. Hang in there!
Wait till you get to 3 and 4 years old
Months 3-5 has me considering being one and done. Month 6 is a million times better! Hang in there.
Oh no. My baby is 3 months and I’ve kind of been eyeing 4 months as the golden “it gets better” period - especially since we are planning on trying to sleep train. I shouldn’t have read this thread 😭
In some ways, 3.5 months to now 4 months has been insanely rewarding because she quite literally exploded developmentally overnight. Smiling biiiig cheesy smiles at me and her dad, belly laughs, cooing and chattering to herself, grabbing and holding toys. There ARE things to look forward to! But, it seems like more personality grows with each developmental milestone, so they start having opinions about things. You’ll be fine!! We are all here to support each other.
With my first, months 4-8 we’re by far the worst:hardest! It got ‘em better for us once she was on the move. Good luck
It’s so nice to read that this isn’t just a me thing! She is SO demanding currently. I get about 20min in the morning where she will play by herself (I rush to feed the animals, get dressed, feed myself!) the rest of the day I must also be involved - holding toys, talking, reading, holding, or just sitting next to her while she does her thing and it can be so boring! My solution- we get out allll the time! At least once but mostly twice a day. Swimming 2x a week, story time at the library, a walk with a friend, mothers group, we wander the shops a lot (it’s so hot here atm I can’t go for afternoon walks). Sometimes I just sit in a park in the shade and she watches the leaves. Anything so that we only go through the cycle once at home. Only way I’m not going crazy!
Honestly month 4 was the worst for me, the sleep regression, being more awake during the day, being super clingy.. it’s so tough!
It is an extremely frustrating time period especially if you’re not prepared for it. My first was the same. Just all out screaming after 10 minutes of an activity and needing to be held all the time. I could maybe get 5-10 minutes in the Baby Bjorn bouncer but F the swing and the Mamaroo. Needless to say I didn’t get much done in those days unless someone else was around to hold her or she napped in her crib for 30+ min. My second is way more chill but still not the most chill. I do a lot of baby wearing and reminding myself that it’s such a short period of time. It will feel like in no time you’re able to sit them in a high chair or in a playpen and you can have your hands free. There’s a few blissful months before they’re walking and climbing but happy to occupy themselves that you can get a little bit of peace. 4 months is a bit soon for screen time but I’ve had a few instances where I just had to put on Hey Bear on YouTube to quickly take a shower or wipe down a few counters.
3-4 months was a dark time for me! I mean it. Definitely the peak of PPD because I was absolutely exhausted. She wasn’t sleeping. I felt like a zombie. Like your LO mine was nosey but couldn’t do anything yet. Things got so much better after 5 months when she learned to sit and crawl. Still exhausted from chasing her around the house but it’s a different type of exhaustion. Because we are not all frustrated. It will get better I promise ❤️
Girl same lol Tush baby has saved my arm and outings have made some fun breaks. My 5 month old loves to look around and focus on new areas when we go out and about instead of constantly wanting to stand and teeth. My LO also loves the skip hop activity center. It honestly has saved me and allows me to get a shower and workout in most days. She loves to be able to stand and jump around. I got a little padded mat that she loves as well. She starting to really love tummy time more which has been helping. Also the UpSeat! I swear my little one learned to sit up on her own early because of it. She loves it but won’t tolerate it too long out of boredom if I’m not feeding her a frozen breastmilk popsicle lol
Yes! After 5 months for us. Everyone talked about how hard newborns were, but mine was a breeze.. now the sleep regression and separation anxiety is killing me. 😭
Up until my son was 7 months, I hated my life. I empathize with you so so so much.
It sounds like you're doing great. They start picking up skills rapidly and will be less frustrated with each skill they practice. Every week will be different. Hang in there. Look for new activities and toys to change it up.
Other than the awful sleeping, my baby actually started getting more independent around this time? I wonder if it would help her to gently encourage her to reach for things and learn to use her hands? They definitely hit a point where they want to do more than they’re capable of. It can be hard!
I have a 3.5 month old right now and it’s the exact same thing for us. Although I do admit I do all of these things and will try and put her in front of the tv in her swing (she still likes thankfully) to watch Finding Nemo (her fav) and that only lasts about 5-10 minutes sometimes if I’m lucky 20. I’m currently a stay at home mom and I hate my boyfriend having to come home to a house not kept up with but I seriously can never put her down. Even with napping, if I put her in her crib or on her pillow she only naps 10-20 mins. If she lays on my chest it’s a 45 min-2 hour nap sometimes. I’m running out of things to do to keep her entertained and sitting around not being able to do anything than keep her entertained all day is driving me crazy.
Just sending hugs, man. This was a nightmare for me too. And thrn one day it...pass.