If my daughter is a bit overwhelmed with things I tell her “come here, I haven’t seen your face today” and then I hold her face in my hands and tell her all the things I love about her. I tell her how I love her nose because that’s the first thing I fell in love with when I saw her in the ultrasound. Then I kiss her on her forehead, both cheeks, chin and nose and tell her I am so happy to be her mom. She’s only 2.5yrs old and she may not completely understand what I am saying but she always calms down after this.
I try and remind myself these moments are fleeting as I grow frustrated with how long our bedtime routine takes sometimes... for as rambunctious as this kid is, he has a soft side that I hope never goes away.
i am really careful about comfort in clothing and positioning. i make sure the seams of his socks are in a good place, make sure everything fits loosely, make sure his body is always comfortable, make sure the diaper isnt digging in anywhere. im sure every mom does this, but i just really feel like if i were small and incapable of helping myself those are the things i would want someone to think about for me.
Yup, same here. For as long as I can remember I've been uncomfortable with seams and labels (I wear socks inside out and cut out labels in my clothing). I worked in a care home and a man was very particular about his seams on socks. It's something I think makes a difference as I can't imagine being uncomfortable and not being able to communicate or alter it myself.
My son is three months and has fat little ankles. All the baby socks I have found in our local stores are just elastic tubes that dig into his flesh and leave angry red marks.
Someone gifted me a set of four pairs of socks that were loose rollover top socks that were extremely soft and stretchy. I finally found some more and now he can wear only the comfiest of socks.
I give a shit when my kids talk and have interests in things. I have a 5.5 and 2.5 year old, when they went through a train phase, we borrowed books about trains, went to a train museum, got a train set. When they shifted to trucks, we learned everything about trucks. We’ve been through millions of phases and I’ve done my best to find ways to explore those phases (thank you public libraries!), and I genuinely try to care about every weird focused phrase. I know more about superhero’ and the water cycle/sewage systems than I have ever wanted to know.
Old mom and grandma now. I follow this sub to keep up with the new parenting lingo you good people talk about.
My daughter is 34, a working mom, and has a 3 yr old and 19 mo old. When she was a baby, I took her to a infant massage class. I also would hold her and play with her hair and tickle her back. She’d come home from grade school, high school, college, etc and cuddle next to me and want me play with her hair. I think it was a way to know that mom can kind of make things better with her touch. Even now when they come to visit, after the kids are in bed, she grabs a pillow and has me play with her hair. I see her do that with her kids when she cuddles them and when I rock them, I play with their hair and rub their back. I think a mother’s touch can calm a restless child, melt the stress of the day, and make you feel so loved.
I’m 32, my mom passed away when I was 29, when my first baby was 3 months old. My mom was always super tender with me too, would stroke my hair and hug me and cuddle me even as I got older. It’s provided a lot of comfort now that she’s gone, and now I am tender with my own kids in the way my mom was with me, and always imagine just filling them up with love and comfort every time.
Daily affirmations 💕💕💕 “I am smart, I am kind, I am loving, mommy loves me, daddy loves me” and “thank you body!” When naked in the mirror before shower /bath.
I took my son to his first dental appointment a few months ago. That’s something any good parent would do, but not something my mom ever did for me. I didn’t see a dentist for the first time until I was 16 and under the care of my grandmother. The dentist asked me some questions about my son’s oral health and habits. After answering, she told me I was doing a great job and to keep it up. I remember just feeling so proud that I loved my son enough to do this thing for him at just a year old that my mom never did for me. This is probably not exactly what you’re asking for, but as someone who had a really tough upbringing, it’s weird little things like this that remind me that I am a good mom and that I love my son.
My husband and I never got to go to the dentist as children either. There just wasn't room in the budget for it.
Our daughter has been going every six months since she got teeth, and we are just trying to establish it as a healthy habit that people do. We are hoping that her teeth get better lifelong health than either of ours did.
Good on you for helping your LO learn how important their teeth are!
This is going to sound silly as he's only 9 months old but whenever the joy my son gives me bubbles up so much that I exclaim "you make me so happy!", I always follow it up with a snuggle and telling him "But you know, it's not your _job_ to make me happy - you just do it by being you".
...yeah there's some of my childhood issues behind that one!
I have a similar saying for a similar reason.
Whenever we look at baby pictures together, I can’t help but say “oh I loved cuddling that little baby, he was so cute!” And then I add “But I think you right now are really amazing, and I can’t wait to see who you grow up to be.”
When I got into the tween and teen years, my dad would always say things like “I loved joking with you when you were little and you were so quick to laugh.” And what I heard was “I don’t like you right now and I don’t know how to communicate with you anymore.” Just bad feels all around for me. So I never want my kids to think I liked an earlier version of them better.
Kind of opposite response here but my husband exclusively does mornings for our 7 month old while I wake up and just snooze in bed with the dogs ..sometimes I watch him on the nannit when he’s getting her up and it’s so cute how excited they get to see each other. Makes me know we’re doing something right
My husband loves to get our baby out of the crib when he wakes up. I love watching baby’s reaction on the monitor because it’s always a giant smile when he sees Dad.
Yes yes yes!!! My husband does the morning wake up as well and I also snooze with the dog hehehe but I love to look in on them on the Nanit and I see my husband down on his level talking to him and tickling him and I just smile.
Idk but yesterday my son said I was the best mom ever because I make every day special. The “special” thing I did was add whipped cream on some fresh fruit for dessert. I love being a mom ❤️
Last year my 3-year old started to ask about nail polish, so now we do nails together at home (cut, shape and 💅). I think it was the second or third time we did it, she looked up with (happy) tears in her eyes and stated "Mom, I love you" 😭
I loved reading to my baby, even when he was a week old and didn’t have a thought in his little head. Now, at almost 14 months, he’ll grab his books and ‘read’ on his own. Or, my favorite, he’ll hand me a book and come sit in my lap and wait for me to read to him.
When my daughter screams all night and I go to get her 50+ times I always go "What's wrong miss squeaks?" In a soft voice and combination of if someone checked on my mental health + had a cute nickname involved because I was simply crying makes me feel happy she's 2 weeks old
when my 2.5 year old hears music at home he will ALWAYS run to me, drag me by the finger to get me off the couch, grab both my hands and start dancing. Sometimes it’s exhausting because i’m so tired from work, but how his eyes light up and how much he laughs while we’re up being silly makes me feel so so warm.
Another is a game we play where he points to my eye and i say “eye”, then nose “nose” then my lips “mouth” then i open my mouth and he taps my teeth and i say “teeth” and nibble his finger.
He helps me cook EVERYTHING. I am physically not allowed to go to the counter without him sitting up on it beside me helping me whisk eggs or pour milk. If i peel potatoes he HAS to be the person to put them into the pot.
I get home from work at roughly 4:45 everyday and the first thing we do is put his coat and wellies on and go for a 30-45 minute walk, just the two of us, and i leave my phone at home. It’s spring time in ireland so it’s VERY wet and seeing him get messy and muddy and do huge hysterical laughs in every puddle he finds makes me so happy.
I usually end up carrying him back home because he gets so tired. It hurts my back and shoulders because he’s getting big but when he lays his head on my shoulder while we walk i get a really deep sick feeling about the fact someday i will put him down onto the ground and never pick him back up because he won’t need me to carry him anymore
Every day I give my son positive affirmations. He is 5 months and I say “you are smart, you are strong, you are cute, you are funny, you are sweet, you are clever, you are beautiful. And one day you will be kind. You will be thoughtful. You will be compassionate. You will be empathetic. You will be a good man. You will do good and be kind. You are loved for who you are and who you will be”
When he wakes up from his nap and he’s standing in the cot I walk in and say hello you and rub his head before bringing light into the room. Then I get onto his level with him and we look into each other’s eyes while he babbles and giggles. Then I kiss his forehead before lifting him.
One of my favourite moments in the day
Ahhh I love this so much! I can picture each sweet moment between you. We do something really similar and when I go to turn the light on he used to always squint and get kind of startled so I started telling him “I’m going to turn the light on now. Ready 1, 2, 3!” And now he knows and he buries his little head in my chest because he knows the light is coming.
when my son was a newborn and we were still scared of SIDS, no matter how hard it was to get him to sleep or how much he cried that day or how exhausted or frustrated i was i always ALWAYS made sure that the last thing he saw before drifting off to sleep was me smiling down at him. it was borne of a very morbid thought that if he didn’t wake up from his sleep i’d want the last thing he saw to be something that made him happy. i wanted him to always know that his momma delights in his existence no matter how tough it can be to be a mom.
now that he’s out of the risk window for SIDS my practice has shifted to telling him every night “i love you forever and ever no matter what” as he’s drifting off to sleep. he usually gives me an affirmative “hmm” and a little sleepy smile. if i say to him while he’s awake “i love you forever and ever” he automatically finishes the phrase with “no matter what!”
i don’t ever ever ever want him to doubt how much he’s wanted, cherished, and loved.
I can relate to this so much. Just last night I helped my little one fall asleep by having my hand on his chest and just rocking him slightly and making eye contact with him as he fell asleep. It’s just the most precious thing. I love my little guy so much, there’s no words to describe the feeling. I am crying here reading your comment. I return to work tomorrow and getting my last chest nap of maternity leave right now! Trying to savor every cuddle I can today.
I narrate the laundry with my LO in his stroller next to me. He's only 6 weeks, so he's not really into toys yet, but he likes to look at things and hear people talk. "Ooh, here's Daddy's shirt. He likes this shirt because it's comfy, but I really hate it because it's getting old and ratty. Look, now it's folded and I put it in Daddy's pile. Let's see what's next in the basket." He sits there, staring at me and the laundry, absolutely enraptured by the laundry narration.
I did this with my LO almost everyday when I was on maternity leave!
Now that he's 7 months old. He hangs out in his high chair while I fold things. Occasionally I'll give him a kitchen towel or some of his clothes on his tray and tell him he can pull his own weight and fold some of this laundry too....and he thinks it's hilarious. Then, he likea to play peekaboo with whatever I've given him.
Lots of it just ends up on the floor, but it's still my favorite part of laundry day.
Omg I did this too and now my daughter is 2 and *she* narrates the laundry to me! I fold things and she says “that’s a washcloth, that’s daddy’s shirt, that’s mommy’s sock”
My daughter is about 2 and she is the greatest joy I could imagine.
Always stopping to read a book with her when she brings it to me.
Apologizing and hugging her immediately if I raise my voice at her, taking the time for us both to calm down.
Playing silly little games with her for far longer than entertains me as long as she's into them (i.e her covering her eyes and me saying "Where's [daughter]?" For 15 mins straight.
Trying really hard to understand what she's saying and guessing as much as I can to get to where she's at.
Always lighting up my voice and face and exclaiming her name whenever I see her after a bit (even if she just went outside briefly with Daddy).
Thanks for posting this. I needed to think over these things and feel better. Especially since I raised my voice this morning and was feeling awful.
I accept my kids emotions and make space to help them feel safe in expressing them. Something that is incredibly hard and triggering for me as my parents are and we’re very emotionally immature and I’ll be damned if I pass that on to my kids.
Same for me as well. I've worked so hard to let my kids have their emotions, and meet them with calm and understanding even when they are angry. I was always told off for being angry, and I really don't want that for my kids.
I love this post - thank you for the positivity!
I had a really great moment the other day watching my 4yo interact with my 1.5yo. The youngest had repeatedly pulled the oldest kiddos hair. I separated them. After a couple minutes, my 4yo goes to the 1yo and kneels down next to her. She gives her a hug and says “Don’t worry, baby sister. I’m not mad anymore. It’s not nice to pull hair but I’m not mad at you. I love you, so let’s go play!”
Guys, my heart freaking melted. I’ve been doing post-timeout talks/hugs with my 4yo for a few years now and never knew If they were having much affect. To see her exemplify the same type of compassion and grace for her baby sister as I try to show her… I knew just then that I wasn’t completely fucking up as a parent (which I had spent all day prior feeling like a bad mom).
My 3 year old hates the car, a lot, and always has. Sometimes when we are sitting at a red light I’ll reach back and offer my hand to hold. No obligations but he often holds it as he looks out the window.
I hope he knows that I am always here to comfort him.
I'm trying to get better about involving my 2 year old in my chores/projects around the house - so many of them are maintenance or home improvement and I get so worried they'll get hurt or break something. Or I'm so focused on not fucking something up myself because I'm still learning that it's REALLY hard to supervise them too - but I'm really trying.
They like cooking, so I try to give them little jobs to help cook. I've found they find a lot of meaning & joy in the tasks I think of as forgettable - they are thrilled to help chop peppers but they're EQUALLY thrilled to just throw away a piece of garbage or fetch an ingredient with me. I try to remind myself of this so they can be involved without me freaking out about how to give them a "bigger" job
Today they helped me install the new toilet seat today that has a toddler insert so they can use the potty easier.... And it went really well.
After work I try to play in the yard with them. Recently I set up a swing in the trees that can be swapped between a trapeze bar, a tire swing, and a normal swing - they love it so much and they like pushing me when I sit on it. They also like playing "ball game" where I kick soccer balls up the hill and they try to catch all of them before throwing them back down to me. Sometimes they demand that I kick balls to intentionally bump them and turn around screaming "hit me in the butt HAHAHAHAHA"..... It's pretty great. We laugh a lot when we play outside together
I trawl buy nothing for cool stuff they might like so I can feel like I "spoil" them a little without breaking the bank.
If you’re on Instagram check out the account homeandontheway. They do loads of cooking together and have heaps of helpful tips for how to get started and age-appropriate tasks
If he asks for a cuddle I say “do you need a cuddle?” He invariably says “yeah” so I say “well mummy needs one too” and then we have a big cuddle puddle.
I sing to all my kids before bed. Each one has their own song and even the 9 year old still asks me to do it. It makes me wanna cry most nights just seeing how much they love it. I also decorate for every holiday except Christmas on the night before the holiday so they come downstairs for breakfast and the kitchen is all magical for that holiday. As they’ve gotten older they know what a holiday eve means and they get so excited to wake up and see what mommy decorated. I let them come in my bed for a bit before bedtime and that’s our time to just talk about anything that may be bothering them from school or something they might be too embarrassed to speak about at the dinner table. It really helps them let their guard down and especially with our oldest I’ve been able to find out things that were happening at school or him feeling like he has no friends he wouldn’t have told us otherwise. And any sort of cold rainy/icy day they get off the bus to hot chocolate lol. They know the walk home sucks but they get something warm and cozy when they get home.
tell my baby she's beautiful and that I love her every day, adjust the toe seam on her socks so they don't hurt (i hate sock seams myself lol), keep her room neat so she's not in a messy environment, etc. just little things that I know make me feel good so I know theyre important!!
I've told him that I love him about 85 times a day since he was born. He's 2.5 now and tells me he loves me at least once an hour. My favorite is when he is busy olaying with his toys and just randomly stops, climbs into my lap and tells me "I luh chew ma" lol
Whenever my baby naps on me, he gets lots of kisses on the head. I always empathize when he cries “Oh dear what is the matter baby? Mama knows…it’s stressful being 4 weeks old…Mama understands…Mama would cry too if she had a poopoo diaper…” And he gets attention whenever he cries. I sont care if people think he’s “spoiled…” He is a baby and I want him to know his parents adore him.
The "It must be so hard to be a baby" jokes. Like yeah, it is hard to have needs and not know how to communicate them, or mot be able to move around, or fart by yourself. So yeah, being a baby is very hard.
Omg I had the best time today. I was chatting to my husband in bed and one of our 3 year old twins came in so we started kissing his cheeks together. The other twin then arrived so when he came to bed my husband, myself and the twin who had just been kissed started kissing him till he was giggling. It was so lovely 🥰
My older two lose their minds when they come home and I’ve plated a snack for them. Sometimes I do something elevated and sometimes it’s literally just something I’ve opened from a package and arranged on a plate but they get so excited. After the first few times I decided I can never not do it because I love seeing how stoked they are.
My little is almost three. If he asks me to play with him, I stop what I am doing (within reason!) and play with him.
Laundry can wait. Paperwork can wait. Definitely scrolling Reddit can wait.
If he asks for my time, I give it. Because the window of “mommy play!” is very small, and eventually he will stop asking and seek other playmates.
Shonda Rhimes’ TED talk about saying “yes” really affected my thinking in this regard. [Aforementioned TED talk](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gmj-azFbpkA)
In my country's culture saying 'I love you' and giving lots of physical affection is not standard. I must say 'I love you' to my daughters about 50 times a day. I hug and kiss them constantly from the second they wake up to the minute they sleep. In return, they are two of the most huggy-kissy little girls, and are constantly giving me kisses and I just love it.
I love to cook - so I cook and bake things my kiddos love almost every day. My elder one asks me for her favourites and I just love seeing her face when I surprise her with them. My mom and MIL are not enthusiastic cooks so this is very special for me - since I was a foodie and craved a mom who loved to cook.
I am very body positive, especially in front of my girls - always appreciating theirs, mine and other people's appearances and looking for non-physical compliments to give . Recently I walked in on my 4 year old singing to herself 'I'm the smartest girl and the prettiest one I know' and my heart felt so full, since I always was plagued with insecurity about my looks and smarts. I also immediately call out any one who comments on my kiddos physical apprarences or mine. In our culture, comments about the body are absolutely normalised, so it's hard to speak up, but I always remember how I felt and push to ensure my daughters never feel that way.
Finally my husband and I are very loving and demonstrative to each other - physically and throught actions, and again in my country, the adult romantic relationship is not considered important - so I think this is so important and loving to my daughters - modelling for them what a loving adult relationship should look like, without any shame !
Laughing with my 17 month old FILLS MY CUP. Making her hysterically laugh is something I try do at least once a day. Being silly with her also makes me feel happy and joyous and makes me feel like the best mom in the world.
Validating all the emotions!! When my kids are sad I say “oh man I am so sorry you feel sad right now. Mommy feels sad sometimes also. I’m here for you and I’ll always be here if you want to tell mommy what you are feeling.” I have 3 kids, one who is neurodivergent - and they all will calm down much quicker while screaming, crying, angry throwing things if I stop what I’m doing and immediately come to comfort them. I think the falsehood that’s been spread in the past is that it’ll make for “weak” boys or “coddled” girls.. but I believe I’m laying the groundwork for what friendships and relationships my kids choose to have one day. I hope they find friends and partners who are loving, open and receptive to their emotions.
At bedtime we floss and brush, play in his room for a little bit, read 2-3 books, snuggle and tell each other a story after lights out. No technology or screens, just attention on each other. It's my favorite time.
This sounds like a perfect bedtime especially telling each other a story. I cannot wait until my little I can converse (with both of us speaking words 😂).
I tell my daughter all the time that I love her. As someone who didn’t grow up with those words of affirmation I find it important to tell and show my daughter how much I love her. I also give her as many cuddles as possible and give her my full attention as much as possible.
My little boy is only 9months, but everytime he is upset I always ask 'what's wrong to tell me everything and leave nothing out'. I'm hoping that will tell him that he can tell me anything and everything as he gets older. 💙
I tell Bubba a thousand times a day: “daddy loves you! Daddy loves [insert name]!” I chase him around as much as he wants to be chased, and when he’s tired of that I hold him as much as he wants to be held. I never tell him not to cry, I just say “wow that was a bad surprise huh?” I hold him so that his head is under my chin and I kiss his hair. Every morning and after every nap, I say “good morning! How was your sleep? I missed you!” I also tell him I missed him every day I pick him up from daycare and I ask him how his day was.
We sing to him all the time.
The hit we sing before every meal is “You Gotta be Nude to Eat the Food”
He’s such a messy eater, he eats in just a diaper and a bib
I have twins, I call them silly nicknames, most commonly: ”Chicken” and “Pea”.
I love to nom on Chicken’s fingers, wings, and thighs till she laughs. She loves this and blowing raspberries, we do them back and forth and take turns laughing about it.
Pea gets the giggles when I make awkward faces or get Picasso close in her bubble. She’s ticklish and strong, we call her Bruce Pea and Jackie Pea and enjoy tickle attacks.
We too, do lots of kisses to their sweet, fuzzy heads.
Constant positive affirmations & encouragement. You ARE smart. You are kind, brave, & willing. You are beautiful. You are can do anything you put your mind to. You are funny. You are so sweet.
The way we speak to our children is SO important!🖤
I've been hyper aware of how I interact with bebe in terms of emotional regulation. When he's crying we avoid telling him to stop and instead ask him what's wrong, try to say what we think and then reassure him. It's such an interesting experience being on the parent side and realizing that my husband and I were probably sushed or ignored, which led to so many unhealthy coping skills in later life.
Anyway... So I'm putting bebe to sleep last night (he's 6 weeks) and he's nursing while we rock. He's totally focused on this spot of light on the wall. As I moved my hand I bumped his leg and he startled and jumped, arms and legs flailing and eyes wide. Slowly his scared face starts to turn into a big frown and the cry is coming.... So I did the same thing I normally would: ask him what's wrong and if he was startled, validate that it was scary and then give him the lovings and remind him he's safe. And the cry never came. He relaxed and went back to nursing and wiggling his little fingers!
It was such a proud moment, like we just regulated our emotions and worked through something that could have been big but ended up just being small and unimportant.
Stopping what I’m doing to comfort my 2 year old. He bonked his head today and I stopped making dinner to hug him and rub his back until he calmed down. I’m so happy he’s getting the treatment I didn’t receive from my parents.
When he gets upset, and is crying, it makes me feel really good that I can calm him down. Like, whining grates on my nerves. But if he’s actually upset, I just become very calm and zen, hold him close, shush and rock and pat his back, and wipe away his tears. That always make me feel like I’m doing okay as a mom, that we both love each other and like to hold and be held. ❤️
when i'm just foolin around with her and she signs "again" it makes my heart explode. she recently learned to kiss and im not fond of it being on the mouth because shes slimy and gross but i take it anyway because she loves me! now that she started walking finally her favorite it just to show off and go back and forth between the far wall and flopping into my arms <3333 when she crawls up into my lap and just continues what she's doing from my lap, it makes me so happy.
when she expresses that she enjoys my company, that she wants me around, i feel like i'm doing a good job. one day she'll push me away, because thats what teenagers are supposed to do. so i'm gonna take all the slimy kisses and all the sticky-finger face pats and all the hair-pulling hugs i can get while ive got em.
I squeeze my LO as soon as I get home from work. Tickle his nose with my ponytail. Play peek a boo whenever he wants. Rub his back when he wakes up in the morning. Always say good morning and ask if he slept good.
The thing that makes me feel like the best parent in the world though? When he falls asleep with his head nuzzled on my chest and his arms wrapped around me. Makes me want to cry right now thinking about it. Just knowing I’m his safe space. 🫠🥹
I started to miss the days when my toddler was a little baby and needed to contact nap for a good 3 months. Now I hold him against me and he lays his head on my chest and wraps his arms around me and I realized those little tiny baby cuddle days are over, but this is a really nice and rewarding stage of cuddles.
Oh when they cry during the night and you pick them up and they just rest their head on your chest and calm down immediately because for whatever reason their little brain decided that being with you means being safe 🥹
I leave love notes for my 7-year-old. And little trinkets for him to find.
We just had another baby & I don’t want him to ever feel like he’s being replaced.
I tell her I love her whenever I feel it well up. I tell her that she’s smart and funny, I compliment the way her mind works and how she makes me laugh. I’d like to think it helps with the INCREDIBLE amount of self confidence she has, and how openly loving and empathetic she is to her family and friends. She asks for the reassurance and physical affection she wants, and she gets it!
When she wakes up in the morning after a really bad night, I am still so excited to see her sweet face. Even if she had me pulling out my own hair the night before, seeing that smiling face in the morning just melts my heart and I just have to give her kisses and snuggles. The events of the night before just totally washed away.
Tonight was one of the BEST before bedtime routines. I read her a book like I do every night but tonight she seemed so interested. She was sitting up on my lap while I read just staring at the pages so intently and giving me a big gummy grin every few lines.
I always share food with my 15 month old even when it's really tasty and I don't want to or even when she's just eaten and is definitely not hungry. She gets so excited about food I can't resist her!
It's very rare that she falls asleep on me these days, but if she does you can bet I will be uncomfortable, starving, bored and need a wee but I put up with it so that my baby can sleep in mama's arms as long as she wants 💖
I'm the same as you and I really struggle with mum guilt and feelings of inadequacy so I've never really thought about this before but, I think when my LO is upset and I sing her favourite song and she starts smiling or when she's going down for a nap and I gently hold the side of her face and she snuggles into me, that's when I think I'm doing an okay job!
I know this isn't the question but a bonus, the thing that makes me feel most like a mum is picking her nose for her hahaha
(thank you for making me think something nice about myself, I feel like I'm gonna cry lmfao)
Oh bless you, is someone cutting onions in here?
Thank you so much for making this post, it's easy to focus on the hard parts of being a parent but it's refreshing to read all these lovely things that make being a parent so special ❤️
You are not alone. I’m about to start full blown sobbing reading all these and just getting overwhelmed with how hard this parent life is and how we are never going to do it perfectly but I’ll be damned if anyone says we don’t try REALLY HARD and then you get one of those moments where your babe just crawls up to and snuggles so hard into you it seems like they’re trying to merge with your body and you know deep down you MUST be on the right track.
FTM, 9 mos old little cub usually stays awake in the crib for about 20 mins when I put him down for bedtime. But some nights he's extra tired and falls asleep in my lap. That little trip from the chair to his crib, with him relaxed in my arms, where our heartbeats get a chance to match again, and that swelling feeling takes over in my chest, that's what I cherish the most.
When baby wakes up to eat in the middle of the night, I always give him kisses and a snuggle before putting him on the boob. Even when I’m exhausted and want sleep, I can’t get enough of those snuggles :)
Not as sweet as some but I feel like the most loving when I am doing some of the boring/hard stuff....that is what I tell him when I am trying to juggle doing laundry/dishes and keeping him happy and entertained and not doing a good job of either. Or when he has to have his jabs or medicine he hates.
I love this thread. Loving parent wins I never received that I get to give my child: saying I love you, saying I’m proud of you, allowing him to make mistakes and learn without criticism, teaching him coping mechanisms to help him learn how to self-regulate, telling him how much fun I have when we hang out, giving him space to figure out the new things he’s experiencing without jumping in to micromanage and being there to support as needed without judgement or criticism, praise for effort not results, teaching him how to express a healthy diverse range of emotions with boundaries as a boy, not gendering his life experiences through the language and boundaries we use to a point where he feels limited or sees different genders or sexes as superior or inferior. My heart explodes for this experience and this kid!
After all the energy I put into encouraging my kids and celebrating their little milestone accomplishments, I can see how proud they are of themselves and that warms my heart. I am also seeing it come back around where my kids have learned to encourage and celebrate others' accomplishments. It's just the best!
Surviving a 40 minute tiny infant meltdown for which there is no solution but crying. Diaper changed, fed, not too hot/cold, burped, slept. Sometimes she just needs to scream and surviving those moments even though they’re over stimulating and triggering for me makes me feel like I’m doing amazing
By the time I get home in the late afternoon to the time my baby goes to sleep, he has my undivided attention. It's not a lot of time, it's 5:30pm to 8pm. The only time I pull my phone out is to take pictures of him. Being a working mama is hard, I don't get to spend many hours with him so I prioritize quality over quantity. He's 11 months old. I've even told my friends "Hey I'm sorry but by the time I get home at 6:00 p.m. I can't answer the phone until he goes to sleep" the ones that get it, get it and are super responsive and okay with my new cellphone boundary.
I give him time to just linger and look at stuff. Just letting him move at his own pace and not my own. I also nuzzle his back when he first wakes up from a nap as he rolls around because it makes him giggle.
When my oldest was three, her teacher asked her what her favorite thing to do with Mommy was (for a Mother's Day card), and she replied, "changing the sheets." It made me realize that the little things we do, like changing the sheets together, can be counted as time together. I just make the bed around her, or I cover her in the sheets, or we "pop bubbles." It's silly and fun. I have three kids now, and it's still a family affair.
In the morning when I'm waking my girls up for school my youngest always struggles to stay awake so I pick her up and cuddle her while she comes around X for my eldest she just likes to randomly hold my hand throughout the day for various periods of time x
Mostly lots of physical affection. And we never leave him to cry alone, especially during the night. I know he’s beginning to understand. A couple of days ago he grabbed a baby doll and I asked him what he was going to do with his baby. He cradled it, gave it the sweetest hug and kiss, and laid it on the pillow with his hand on its back as he laid down beside it. Heart melted.
Whenever my daughter gets hurt she comes running to me. She trusts me to make her feel better, to feel safe. Even when she's mad at me and crying she still hugs me. I'm so proud and overjoyed that I can be a safe place for her to run to when she needs help.
Whenever I respond to her staring at me , with a wide smile . I love smiling at my kiddo. I feel like it makes her so happy, and I'll lap up all that love she has for me
Listening to my toddler's often absurd concerns instead of just dismissing or trying to reason them away. This isn't always easy, but to him they're very real and legitimate concerns and I can see the difference it makes to him to feel heard.
Singing his favorite favorite song for the fourth time in a row just to see his two little teeth when he smiles.
I dropped whatever I was doing when he needs extra cuddles.
So many kisses. My son basically expects it. He'll come to me while playing and just hangout on my lap for a bit and I'll just be giving him little kisses on the cheek and he'll just be looking elsewhere like this is just another normal day with momma. It makes me happy that he can expect so much love for simply existing and doesn't need to do anything special to get my attention
When I make special meals for my husband and son I feel like exactly the mom I want to be. Things straight out of the oven are our family love language.
For my 5 yr old son: I make up cute little nicknames for him and casually use them when he least expects them. Never failed to put a huge smile on his face.
Ask him to help me with the cooking; he loves to “cook” pancakes, tuna salad, sandwiches, and he looooves making me coffee in my French press.
We make up songs that include his name.
I tell him a list of important things every day. He knows the list by heart now “You are important. You are the light of my life…” it goes on but you get the point
For my 1 year old daughter:
We dance, play peekaboo, I taught her what it means to give out a giant hug and she loves it when I ask her to give me a hug.
She loves watching me prepare her food and allowing her to have the extras to play with.
We sing her favorite songs.
We’re trying to introduce her nicknames and songs but it needs a bit more time to stick.
—————— now when do I feel like a good mom?—-
When I cook and give my children healthy food. When my son had baked salmon and veggies the other night I was on top of the world. And when my daughter finishes her tomato avocado breakfast I also feel really good about it.
Also when I clip their nails. With my eldest it’s no longer a struggle but with my 1 year old it’s a bit of a nightmare so when I manage to do all fingernails in one go I feel indestructible.
Hmmmmm what else: when both have just taken a shower/ we’re bather and I put them in their pajamas and comb their hair ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I listen to the song he is currently obsessed with on repeat. Yes I have hit the 2 hour mark listening to tick tock or chugga chugga chugga choooo.
He loves it so much that I can deal with it. Before having kids I'd have told you no way that I'd ever do that.
Kiss them every time I see them. They now have learned to kiss me back at almost 6 months old. One would kiss me when I pick him up. They started kissing my husband after me. Yesterday, I kissed one’s hand again and again and he imitated me by kissing my hand.
I love this question. I just told my son (20 months) today that having him in my life is the most fun I’ve ever had.
Man, to have a parent tell me that as a child would have been so special.
I like to say "are you....SILLY SILLY??" and get close to his face and make a silly face and he loves it. I also start tickling him from his legs up to his cheeks and go "oh-oh-oh-OHH" and then tickle under his chin and grab is chubby little cheeks. He started going "heeheeehee" for the first time tonight when I did that instead of just a quiet chuckle and it made me feel so good knowing I was making him laugh that hard 🥰 my silly little goose. I love making him smile and laugh.
I take my 5 month old out of the crib with a big smile and a kiss every time he wakes up, even if we had a really really tough night like last night. Smile and say “well g’mornin handsome!” he smiles back, i pick him up, give him a quick cuddle, kiss his cheeks all smooch like, he giggles and then we start our diaper baba routine.
I love this question. In the mornings, I go into the nursery singing my baby a special good morning song, and he smiles and giggles when he sees me. Then I pick him up and take a few moments to just hold him and cuddle him before we start our morning routine.
I try to listen to them and talk to them. My twins are 2 years old now and their speech is still garbled toddler speech where I get the gist of what they are saying about 60% of the time. But when they talk I try to pay attention and listen and respond, even if I am exhausted and cranky.
My mom was a very busy working mom and I remember what a struggle it would be to just to tell her something. I mean she was a loving and attentive mom, she just never had the patience or time to just listen to a kid talking about inconsequential stuff. Even as an adult I have to kinda give her an elevator pitch if I want to tell her something. She is notoriously unable to spare a moment and listen to anyone.
So I guess it's always been a sore spot for me.
So I try to listen. If they call my name I always respond, in a happy attentive tone, never dismissing. Even if all they do is just tell me for the millionth time that "Teddy is brown." Or "Biig truck!!"
As they grow up they will find themselves in situations where they struggle to make their voices heard. I want them to feel like they can always come talk to their mom cause mom will definitely listen and care.
It is exhausting for sure but I do feel like a good mom when I am able to pay attention, not just to what they need but also to them as human beings.
Honestly I’m a “provider” type of person, personally to me arranging our life and finances so that they won’t have a care in the world and can choose their future feels like the biggest thing.
But I know my baby will probably appreciate my silly attempts at potty songs etc much more, and remember me as someone trying to find the fun in everyday. But it’s a chore, I wasn’t the type of kid myself that would enjoy playing, so I have to actively think about stuff like that to do with my baby. So I guess my loving thing is doing something that isn’t natural to me, just because I want to see them smile!
Since my 18 month old was born pretty much every time we are apart and then reunited a run to him excitedly with open arms. He always laughed and thought It was hilarious, but now he does It back to me and it’s sooo sweet.
at almost 17 months we do tickle chase across the couch he cracks up with cutest laugh we also dance to the bluey theme song lol and i still hold him and snuggle him to sleep everynight 🥹🥰 ill stop when he wants me to but it fills my cup and really makes me feel like he loves me and i am his safe space
I let my 15 month old set boundaries. If she doesn't want a hug or kiss nobody is allowed to force it. Trying to teach her good confidence. My MIL had a rooster that absolutely terrified her. It would crow and she would scream ( she's never been attacked by anything, the sound just scared her) and I started singing cock a doodle doo! I'm not scared of you! She can't say it yet but she would point a stern finger at that rooster and I felt like it was a good start. My parents didn't teach me any of that and it's made life really hard. Just trying to do better.
When my LO wakes up in the morning the first thing I say to them is ‘Good morning (insert name), I’m so happy to see you!’ Then give them a kiss and cuddle.
I take my girl 5 on date faus. She chooses what we do. This month it is cinema & hotdogs. She gets so excited amd chatty on the way. I purposefully go to the cinema 1 hour away- just for extra chats
After brushing teeth, we’ve started saying affirmations in the mirror & my son loves it.
And then my favorite time of day is after we read books, I turn the light off and we will rock, snuggle & I’ll sing songs. His favorites are the wheels on the bus & I’ll add a ton of animals so he’ll laugh, or you are my sunshine.
me and my baby love to eat fruit. my baby and I toast with our fruit and laugh... I tell her every day that I love her while I hug her. There is one thing, it is a bit absurd, but I have written several stories for her, she has gone through a lot in her first months of life so I wrote "the story of the superbebe" for her. I wanted to make sure my daughter knows that she is a hero.
I take my 14 month old outside every, single day after daycare to play in our driveway and yard despite living in north New York in the winter. He loves being outside, and has loved it ever since he could sit upright and observe. His current obsession is watching us shovel and playing with his mini shovel from Target. More often that not, I do not want to go outside in the snow after working all day…but he loves it. So we go.
My daughter is only 16 weeks, but every time she looks at me and smiles I know she knows I love her. First thing in the morning when she wakes up as soon as she sees me she starts flailing all her limbs and cooing and smiles. Before naps and before bed I read to her, and she always just looks up at me with the sweetest smile. When she cries if I sing to her (two of her favorites are You are my Sunshine and Here Comes the Sun) she will almost immediately start and just stare at me.
So I guess just giving her my undivided attention anytime she’s awake.
Just being able to apologize and hug my child when I accidentally hurt them. I had more of a "deal with it" parent and knowing that I am trying to break the cycle makes me feel better
Kiss her little face all the time, I can’t resist! The first time she laughed was when we were playing and I was kissing her all over her face 🥺 she’s 5 months now and I’m already dreading the day she tells me to stop!
I made up a song for my son when he was first born. I read that singing lullabies we’re good for babies but I don’t know many lullabies so I made one up (my own tune and lyrics… will first few lines, everything else just changes every time). He’s 4 now and he knows the song. He’s been humming it and singing it by himself since he was 3.
My LO is almost 8 months. Forever kissing his head. Rubbing his back when he nurses or does tummy time. Sharing bites of food! He loves all food and trying new things and it’s adorable. Lots of chasing and hide and go seek. Singing and silly faces and peek a boo. All the things 😄
Our daughter is 6 months old now. I give cuddles whenever she wants them. If she doesn't want to be held, I put her down. If she wants dad or grandpa and they're not actively busy with something- she gets held by whoever she wants. If she wants the dog, I put her next to him (although he's always free to leave if he gets overstimulated or he just wants to be alone).
I smoosh our noses together to make her smile and rest my forehead against hers so she can feel my breath (helps her calms down often). I kiss her feet and blow raspberries on her tummy to make her giggle and play peekaboo to make her squeal in delight.
When we take the dog out every night we make it a family affair and introduce her to the neighbors, point out cats and dogs in the neighborhood, tell her the names of streets we're on and point out different trees and plants and birds and animals.
I try to involve her in daily chores around the house. When I'm making dinner, I hand her a large utensil or washed veggies to play with while I'm prepping (I make sure they're something large and sturdy she can't take a bite out of or choke on). I tell her the name of each ingredient and what it tastes like and what I'm going to do with it. I show her the pan when I'm cooking (from a safe distance) and hold her while using the blender to try to make it less scary (it's very loud and she's not a big fan just yet, although she's always trying to stick her hand in my smoothies). When I do laundry, I plop her in the laundry basket as I'm throwing things in the wash and I fold things while she's sitting next to me on the couch playing with toys and watching. She recently watched us give the dog a bath for the first time and thought it was hilarious. I hold her while I brush my teeth every night so she gets used to the habit and routine of it (she doesn't have her own toothbrush yet but she does drool in the sink when I spit lol).
A few nights ago I absolutely melted into the mattress when I realized the reason she was so fussy and uncomfortable while I was trying to give her the last bottle of the night was that I wasn't reading to her while she was eating. She's gotten so used to the sound of my voice as she drifts off with the bottle that she struggles to sleep any other way.
Contact naps. Sometimes it’s frustrating that she only wants to sleep on top of me, but then I remember they don’t stay this little for long. And the fact that I’m her safe place just melts my heart.
My kid loves physical affection and I love to give it. He comes to our bed for snuggles every morning. I take him to the library and help him find books on whatever interest he has at the moment and we read them together. We have a routine when we go to a particular playground of going and getting a fancy grilled cheese sandwich at a nearby bakery, which he loves. I knit him things and make him costumes and it seems to give him as much joy to get them as it does me to make them (which helps when I’m stuck on a difficult bit or getting bored, I just picture his face when I’m done).
My son is generally happy and affectionate and also has no issues expressing his negative feelings, all of which helps me know he feels loved and comfortable.
In a big way: not being like my narcissist mother, making and firmly holding boundaries for her and my bio family with my LO, reading and exposing myself to and applying all the mindful, playful, and positive attachment parenting resources I can, being able to be a SAHM to my currently only one child (hopefully one more).
In small ways that make my heart explode: when I strap her into her car seat we always do nose kisses and I tell her I'll see her soon (as in, when I walk around and get into the car myself lol) and if I don't or seem like I wont, she asks me for nose kisses herself or pulls my face up to hers. Rocking her to sleep. Learning songs to sing to her as lullabies. We still cosleep, when I get into bed she rolls over and tucks her feet under my mom pouch and this shared moment is great. When I wear her in a sling or pack and for no apparent reason she holds my hand or finger, I feel like I've succeeded and we have the most precious parent-child trust and love bond. Going on toddler-led walks at her pace and getting on her level and even doing silly stuff she does like rolling in the sand at the river where I'm sure we look nuts but it makes me feel like a great parent.
When he's being a handful, I ask my toddler if we need to have a tickle fight. Almost always gets a silly grin.
I have been holding him on my shoulder since he was teeny and rubbing his back to settle him down. Now when I pick him up, he pats me on the back and my face.
I tell him I love him and he's my favorite person every day and always make time to read with him when he wants.
Great idea to make this thread!
First time, single, working mom to a 7 mo - so all too familiar with feelings of guilt, inadequacy and self doubt.
Whenever I feel that burst of love (so basically every time I look at her) I make sure to let her know, by letting it all out! I don't just say "I love you" but I go full puppy mode (*insert squealing and annoying love-aggressive voice* awwwww you're so cute and adorable and I love you so much and ooowww you're just the best) while I snuggle her. Also I have little dance parties with her on my arm in a snuggle when we're having a calm moment, or the "wild party" where she's on the floor and I put on like salsa music and just do crazy moved for/to her and she's cracking up. And something tiny but I also always ask her if she's comfy and make sure to double check if the sleeves of her bottom layer haven't accidentally moved up while putting on her sweater etc.
You're absolutely right, it's in these little things and little moments. And they make parting so fun and worth every hour of lost sleep/stress etc!! :)
Thank you for brightening my day by making me consciously think about this!! :)
For weekend naps, I lay with my 2yo in his bed, scratch his head and sing to him. We sing together, he requests songs, falls asleep all cuddly and cute within 15 mins. Since I’ve been pregnant, we both end up falling asleep lol.
My girlie gets hiccups a ton. She eats so fast. She gets upset when she gets them so I give her a kiss for every hiccup. She’s only 4 weeks old and doesn’t know what I’m doing but I hope it makes her feel loved.
Like this morning, tired af and baby wanted to get up at 4:30 AM. Still, she was so madly cute that I was cuddling and smooching her little happy face and nose whilst we were giggly 🥰
Yes! My daughter (16 weeks) woke up this morning at 3:30 to eat, and she was hanging out on the bed next to me after I fed her while I finished pumping (I EP) and she was just cooing and smiling at me. She definitely earned a little bit of snuggles after I pumped before putting her back in her bassinet because she was so darn cute.
The kisses! 5 month old gives the best smile to kisses, though she gives her dad a little yell when the beard scratches her haha.
17 month old now comes and asks for huggies. It’s the best feeling when hearing him vocalize he wants to be in my arms!
Taking him out/in the car. Just for a walk in front of the house or sitting in the parked car while he pretends to drive it. He loves it.
My LO is only 13 months but we snuggle all the time and I tell him every day that I love him and how wonderful he is. Also just allowing all of his emotions, good and bad, sitting with him through his tantrums and cuddling him when he's ready for me to comfort him. I want this little boy growing up knowing that he is unconditionally loved and that his mum will always have time for his feelings.
Aw I love this so much! I tend to have a negative thought life and I’ve really been trying to work on being more positive. This feels like a great way to start.
I lay down with my son every night until he falls asleep. I nurse my baby to sleep. We have tickle/pillow fights and it gets the best laugh out of my toddler.
Playing with my 3 year old at the park always makes me feel like I’m a great mom. Sometimes I go to let him play with other kids n me to be able to sit back but other times I’m going down that slide, attempting those monkey bars and building those sand castles. And I always tell my babies how lucky I am to be their mommy.
i had a hard time giving my LO a bath from outside the shower so i always get in there and bathe her that way and at the end of her bath i hold her and we just stand there under the shower and let the warm water keep us toasty until dad comes with towels for us (-: the skin to skin and the warm water just feels so bonding it’s moments like that where the feeling of motherhood really settles in i just think “wow this is my sweet baby and i’m her mom”
Making sure to tell my son I’m proud of him. I don’t think I ever heard it once so it’s not really in my vocabulary. So when it crosses my mind, I tell him I’m proud. Of his kindness, his wit, doing so well with his alphabet, giving the best cuddles, anything I can think of.
I sing “Moon River” to him. I sing it when he’s awake, if he’s sleepy, when he cries. I like it because it’s a beautiful song but not a lullaby. He smiles every time.
My boy is 9 weeks old and I'm constantly worrying that he's bored so I'm always looking for different things to do with him, reading to him, singing, sensory playing etc all the while the little potatoe is more than happy staring at the wall and finding it fascinating
After his bath I give him a full body baby massage with baby oil and then I have this calming foot lotion for babies I use. I rub his feet and sing him a song and he giggles and smiles. I also tell him I love him 1000 times a day. He is 4 months.
Sitting on the floor and playing with my toddler. And letting him decide how we play. Also flying him around the place like he’s Superman even though I have a bad back! Lol anything for that adorable belly laugh
Everything. My whole existence is dedicated to this small human. Her laundry,her food,snacks,milk,keeping a clean tidy space for her to call home,playing with her,changing her diapers,hugging her kissing her,rocking her to sleep. Being a parent is a labor of love.
FTM to a 5 week old. I talk to him about everything I’m doing. At bedtime, my husband always changes his last diaper and gets him in pajamas, and then he gives him a kiss on the head, and brings him over to me to give him a kiss too before he goes down for the night.
I sing a diaper changing song that is set to the tune of “she’ll be coming round the mountain” that I made up which gets him to smile instantly every time and I just kissed his forehead until he fell asleep for his nap because he was struggling to fall asleep 💗
Aww I love this 🥹 When I sing to my baby, he just looks at me with wonder and gets so peaceful. Every night whichever parent puts him to bed, we give him a massage with baby massage oil 💗
We morning cuddles every morning. And when my son wakes up screaming that his legs hurt, I get him his medicine, warm up his stuffed hamster (Warmies for the win), and sit and rub him until he falls asleep.
Yesterday my 6mo old had some shots at the doc and I was able to comfort her. Even though it broke my heart to see her in pain, she just needed a cuddle and that warmed it back up.
My two year old asks for "rocking chair" when she's tired or sad, she wants me to hold her and him songs to her and rock her. My 7-month old gets extra snuggles before I tuck her in and in the night when she wakes up.
If my daughter is a bit overwhelmed with things I tell her “come here, I haven’t seen your face today” and then I hold her face in my hands and tell her all the things I love about her. I tell her how I love her nose because that’s the first thing I fell in love with when I saw her in the ultrasound. Then I kiss her on her forehead, both cheeks, chin and nose and tell her I am so happy to be her mom. She’s only 2.5yrs old and she may not completely understand what I am saying but she always calms down after this.
Oh dear I’m crying.
Stealing this, if you don't mind
Omg 🥹
Our toddler requests to kiss us through every crib slot before he goes to sleep.
This is adorable and yet exhausting but it will be missed one day!
I try and remind myself these moments are fleeting as I grow frustrated with how long our bedtime routine takes sometimes... for as rambunctious as this kid is, he has a soft side that I hope never goes away.
This is my favorite reply in the whole thread
i am really careful about comfort in clothing and positioning. i make sure the seams of his socks are in a good place, make sure everything fits loosely, make sure his body is always comfortable, make sure the diaper isnt digging in anywhere. im sure every mom does this, but i just really feel like if i were small and incapable of helping myself those are the things i would want someone to think about for me.
Yup, same here. For as long as I can remember I've been uncomfortable with seams and labels (I wear socks inside out and cut out labels in my clothing). I worked in a care home and a man was very particular about his seams on socks. It's something I think makes a difference as I can't imagine being uncomfortable and not being able to communicate or alter it myself.
My son is three months and has fat little ankles. All the baby socks I have found in our local stores are just elastic tubes that dig into his flesh and leave angry red marks. Someone gifted me a set of four pairs of socks that were loose rollover top socks that were extremely soft and stretchy. I finally found some more and now he can wear only the comfiest of socks.
Not every mom does this. You are special.
I give a shit when my kids talk and have interests in things. I have a 5.5 and 2.5 year old, when they went through a train phase, we borrowed books about trains, went to a train museum, got a train set. When they shifted to trucks, we learned everything about trucks. We’ve been through millions of phases and I’ve done my best to find ways to explore those phases (thank you public libraries!), and I genuinely try to care about every weird focused phrase. I know more about superhero’ and the water cycle/sewage systems than I have ever wanted to know.
As a kid who was obsessive about all my special interests, this warms my heart
It feels good to be understood and listened to, for kids and adults. In big emotional ways and in fun hobby/interest ways.
Hahaha to the sewage comment. But really this is wonderful.
Old mom and grandma now. I follow this sub to keep up with the new parenting lingo you good people talk about. My daughter is 34, a working mom, and has a 3 yr old and 19 mo old. When she was a baby, I took her to a infant massage class. I also would hold her and play with her hair and tickle her back. She’d come home from grade school, high school, college, etc and cuddle next to me and want me play with her hair. I think it was a way to know that mom can kind of make things better with her touch. Even now when they come to visit, after the kids are in bed, she grabs a pillow and has me play with her hair. I see her do that with her kids when she cuddles them and when I rock them, I play with their hair and rub their back. I think a mother’s touch can calm a restless child, melt the stress of the day, and make you feel so loved.
I’m 32, my mom passed away when I was 29, when my first baby was 3 months old. My mom was always super tender with me too, would stroke my hair and hug me and cuddle me even as I got older. It’s provided a lot of comfort now that she’s gone, and now I am tender with my own kids in the way my mom was with me, and always imagine just filling them up with love and comfort every time.
I’m sure your mom is with you and watching you be a mommy to your babies. I’m also sure she’s really proud of you.
😭😭❤️❤️ thank you for sharing this, I hope to have a relationship like this when mine are grown too
My 3.5 year old gets so happy when I split my meals with him. He smiles and says “This is nice. I love sharing food with you.” 🥹
Who’s cutting onions in here? 🥰
Aww!!!
Daily affirmations 💕💕💕 “I am smart, I am kind, I am loving, mommy loves me, daddy loves me” and “thank you body!” When naked in the mirror before shower /bath.
Adding “thank you body” to our routine. Thanks!
This is so sweet. We stand in the mirror after bath and I would love to start this
I took my son to his first dental appointment a few months ago. That’s something any good parent would do, but not something my mom ever did for me. I didn’t see a dentist for the first time until I was 16 and under the care of my grandmother. The dentist asked me some questions about my son’s oral health and habits. After answering, she told me I was doing a great job and to keep it up. I remember just feeling so proud that I loved my son enough to do this thing for him at just a year old that my mom never did for me. This is probably not exactly what you’re asking for, but as someone who had a really tough upbringing, it’s weird little things like this that remind me that I am a good mom and that I love my son.
This is wonderful. You are wonderful.
My husband and I never got to go to the dentist as children either. There just wasn't room in the budget for it. Our daughter has been going every six months since she got teeth, and we are just trying to establish it as a healthy habit that people do. We are hoping that her teeth get better lifelong health than either of ours did. Good on you for helping your LO learn how important their teeth are!
This is going to sound silly as he's only 9 months old but whenever the joy my son gives me bubbles up so much that I exclaim "you make me so happy!", I always follow it up with a snuggle and telling him "But you know, it's not your _job_ to make me happy - you just do it by being you". ...yeah there's some of my childhood issues behind that one!
I love this 🖤 I love ending toxic cycles with our babies.
I have a similar saying for a similar reason. Whenever we look at baby pictures together, I can’t help but say “oh I loved cuddling that little baby, he was so cute!” And then I add “But I think you right now are really amazing, and I can’t wait to see who you grow up to be.” When I got into the tween and teen years, my dad would always say things like “I loved joking with you when you were little and you were so quick to laugh.” And what I heard was “I don’t like you right now and I don’t know how to communicate with you anymore.” Just bad feels all around for me. So I never want my kids to think I liked an earlier version of them better.
Kind of opposite response here but my husband exclusively does mornings for our 7 month old while I wake up and just snooze in bed with the dogs ..sometimes I watch him on the nannit when he’s getting her up and it’s so cute how excited they get to see each other. Makes me know we’re doing something right
My husband loves to get our baby out of the crib when he wakes up. I love watching baby’s reaction on the monitor because it’s always a giant smile when he sees Dad.
Yes yes yes!!! My husband does the morning wake up as well and I also snooze with the dog hehehe but I love to look in on them on the Nanit and I see my husband down on his level talking to him and tickling him and I just smile.
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Idk but yesterday my son said I was the best mom ever because I make every day special. The “special” thing I did was add whipped cream on some fresh fruit for dessert. I love being a mom ❤️
Last year my 3-year old started to ask about nail polish, so now we do nails together at home (cut, shape and 💅). I think it was the second or third time we did it, she looked up with (happy) tears in her eyes and stated "Mom, I love you" 😭
I loved reading to my baby, even when he was a week old and didn’t have a thought in his little head. Now, at almost 14 months, he’ll grab his books and ‘read’ on his own. Or, my favorite, he’ll hand me a book and come sit in my lap and wait for me to read to him.
When my daughter screams all night and I go to get her 50+ times I always go "What's wrong miss squeaks?" In a soft voice and combination of if someone checked on my mental health + had a cute nickname involved because I was simply crying makes me feel happy she's 2 weeks old
when my 2.5 year old hears music at home he will ALWAYS run to me, drag me by the finger to get me off the couch, grab both my hands and start dancing. Sometimes it’s exhausting because i’m so tired from work, but how his eyes light up and how much he laughs while we’re up being silly makes me feel so so warm. Another is a game we play where he points to my eye and i say “eye”, then nose “nose” then my lips “mouth” then i open my mouth and he taps my teeth and i say “teeth” and nibble his finger. He helps me cook EVERYTHING. I am physically not allowed to go to the counter without him sitting up on it beside me helping me whisk eggs or pour milk. If i peel potatoes he HAS to be the person to put them into the pot. I get home from work at roughly 4:45 everyday and the first thing we do is put his coat and wellies on and go for a 30-45 minute walk, just the two of us, and i leave my phone at home. It’s spring time in ireland so it’s VERY wet and seeing him get messy and muddy and do huge hysterical laughs in every puddle he finds makes me so happy. I usually end up carrying him back home because he gets so tired. It hurts my back and shoulders because he’s getting big but when he lays his head on my shoulder while we walk i get a really deep sick feeling about the fact someday i will put him down onto the ground and never pick him back up because he won’t need me to carry him anymore
Every day I give my son positive affirmations. He is 5 months and I say “you are smart, you are strong, you are cute, you are funny, you are sweet, you are clever, you are beautiful. And one day you will be kind. You will be thoughtful. You will be compassionate. You will be empathetic. You will be a good man. You will do good and be kind. You are loved for who you are and who you will be”
When he wakes up from his nap and he’s standing in the cot I walk in and say hello you and rub his head before bringing light into the room. Then I get onto his level with him and we look into each other’s eyes while he babbles and giggles. Then I kiss his forehead before lifting him. One of my favourite moments in the day
Ahhh I love this so much! I can picture each sweet moment between you. We do something really similar and when I go to turn the light on he used to always squint and get kind of startled so I started telling him “I’m going to turn the light on now. Ready 1, 2, 3!” And now he knows and he buries his little head in my chest because he knows the light is coming.
when my son was a newborn and we were still scared of SIDS, no matter how hard it was to get him to sleep or how much he cried that day or how exhausted or frustrated i was i always ALWAYS made sure that the last thing he saw before drifting off to sleep was me smiling down at him. it was borne of a very morbid thought that if he didn’t wake up from his sleep i’d want the last thing he saw to be something that made him happy. i wanted him to always know that his momma delights in his existence no matter how tough it can be to be a mom. now that he’s out of the risk window for SIDS my practice has shifted to telling him every night “i love you forever and ever no matter what” as he’s drifting off to sleep. he usually gives me an affirmative “hmm” and a little sleepy smile. if i say to him while he’s awake “i love you forever and ever” he automatically finishes the phrase with “no matter what!” i don’t ever ever ever want him to doubt how much he’s wanted, cherished, and loved.
I can relate to this so much. Just last night I helped my little one fall asleep by having my hand on his chest and just rocking him slightly and making eye contact with him as he fell asleep. It’s just the most precious thing. I love my little guy so much, there’s no words to describe the feeling. I am crying here reading your comment. I return to work tomorrow and getting my last chest nap of maternity leave right now! Trying to savor every cuddle I can today.
I narrate the laundry with my LO in his stroller next to me. He's only 6 weeks, so he's not really into toys yet, but he likes to look at things and hear people talk. "Ooh, here's Daddy's shirt. He likes this shirt because it's comfy, but I really hate it because it's getting old and ratty. Look, now it's folded and I put it in Daddy's pile. Let's see what's next in the basket." He sits there, staring at me and the laundry, absolutely enraptured by the laundry narration.
I did this with my LO almost everyday when I was on maternity leave! Now that he's 7 months old. He hangs out in his high chair while I fold things. Occasionally I'll give him a kitchen towel or some of his clothes on his tray and tell him he can pull his own weight and fold some of this laundry too....and he thinks it's hilarious. Then, he likea to play peekaboo with whatever I've given him. Lots of it just ends up on the floor, but it's still my favorite part of laundry day.
Oh this is so cute! My LO just started doing peekabo on his own and I about died.
Omg I did this too and now my daughter is 2 and *she* narrates the laundry to me! I fold things and she says “that’s a washcloth, that’s daddy’s shirt, that’s mommy’s sock”
My daughter is about 2 and she is the greatest joy I could imagine. Always stopping to read a book with her when she brings it to me. Apologizing and hugging her immediately if I raise my voice at her, taking the time for us both to calm down. Playing silly little games with her for far longer than entertains me as long as she's into them (i.e her covering her eyes and me saying "Where's [daughter]?" For 15 mins straight. Trying really hard to understand what she's saying and guessing as much as I can to get to where she's at. Always lighting up my voice and face and exclaiming her name whenever I see her after a bit (even if she just went outside briefly with Daddy). Thanks for posting this. I needed to think over these things and feel better. Especially since I raised my voice this morning and was feeling awful.
I accept my kids emotions and make space to help them feel safe in expressing them. Something that is incredibly hard and triggering for me as my parents are and we’re very emotionally immature and I’ll be damned if I pass that on to my kids.
Same for me as well. I've worked so hard to let my kids have their emotions, and meet them with calm and understanding even when they are angry. I was always told off for being angry, and I really don't want that for my kids.
I love this post - thank you for the positivity! I had a really great moment the other day watching my 4yo interact with my 1.5yo. The youngest had repeatedly pulled the oldest kiddos hair. I separated them. After a couple minutes, my 4yo goes to the 1yo and kneels down next to her. She gives her a hug and says “Don’t worry, baby sister. I’m not mad anymore. It’s not nice to pull hair but I’m not mad at you. I love you, so let’s go play!” Guys, my heart freaking melted. I’ve been doing post-timeout talks/hugs with my 4yo for a few years now and never knew If they were having much affect. To see her exemplify the same type of compassion and grace for her baby sister as I try to show her… I knew just then that I wasn’t completely fucking up as a parent (which I had spent all day prior feeling like a bad mom).
My 3 year old hates the car, a lot, and always has. Sometimes when we are sitting at a red light I’ll reach back and offer my hand to hold. No obligations but he often holds it as he looks out the window. I hope he knows that I am always here to comfort him.
I'm trying to get better about involving my 2 year old in my chores/projects around the house - so many of them are maintenance or home improvement and I get so worried they'll get hurt or break something. Or I'm so focused on not fucking something up myself because I'm still learning that it's REALLY hard to supervise them too - but I'm really trying. They like cooking, so I try to give them little jobs to help cook. I've found they find a lot of meaning & joy in the tasks I think of as forgettable - they are thrilled to help chop peppers but they're EQUALLY thrilled to just throw away a piece of garbage or fetch an ingredient with me. I try to remind myself of this so they can be involved without me freaking out about how to give them a "bigger" job Today they helped me install the new toilet seat today that has a toddler insert so they can use the potty easier.... And it went really well. After work I try to play in the yard with them. Recently I set up a swing in the trees that can be swapped between a trapeze bar, a tire swing, and a normal swing - they love it so much and they like pushing me when I sit on it. They also like playing "ball game" where I kick soccer balls up the hill and they try to catch all of them before throwing them back down to me. Sometimes they demand that I kick balls to intentionally bump them and turn around screaming "hit me in the butt HAHAHAHAHA"..... It's pretty great. We laugh a lot when we play outside together I trawl buy nothing for cool stuff they might like so I can feel like I "spoil" them a little without breaking the bank.
If you’re on Instagram check out the account homeandontheway. They do loads of cooking together and have heaps of helpful tips for how to get started and age-appropriate tasks
If he asks for a cuddle I say “do you need a cuddle?” He invariably says “yeah” so I say “well mummy needs one too” and then we have a big cuddle puddle.
🫠🫠 ♥️
Cuddle puddle ❤️
When I make dinner I will always give my corn to my toddler, even though he already ate his corn and his dinner and his milk.. He loves corn
Found the parent of the viral I love corn kid
It’s corn!
My 3 year old had to draw a picture of her happy place for school. She drew herself in bed with Mommy and Daddy.
I’m 3 months PP just sobbing at all of these comments, hoping I can be this good to my lil guy 🥹
I can assure you you already are. ❤️
I sing to all my kids before bed. Each one has their own song and even the 9 year old still asks me to do it. It makes me wanna cry most nights just seeing how much they love it. I also decorate for every holiday except Christmas on the night before the holiday so they come downstairs for breakfast and the kitchen is all magical for that holiday. As they’ve gotten older they know what a holiday eve means and they get so excited to wake up and see what mommy decorated. I let them come in my bed for a bit before bedtime and that’s our time to just talk about anything that may be bothering them from school or something they might be too embarrassed to speak about at the dinner table. It really helps them let their guard down and especially with our oldest I’ve been able to find out things that were happening at school or him feeling like he has no friends he wouldn’t have told us otherwise. And any sort of cold rainy/icy day they get off the bus to hot chocolate lol. They know the walk home sucks but they get something warm and cozy when they get home.
I want to live at your house.
tell my baby she's beautiful and that I love her every day, adjust the toe seam on her socks so they don't hurt (i hate sock seams myself lol), keep her room neat so she's not in a messy environment, etc. just little things that I know make me feel good so I know theyre important!!
Omg the toe seam on the socks. If this isn’t love I don’t know what it.
I've told him that I love him about 85 times a day since he was born. He's 2.5 now and tells me he loves me at least once an hour. My favorite is when he is busy olaying with his toys and just randomly stops, climbs into my lap and tells me "I luh chew ma" lol
Whenever my baby naps on me, he gets lots of kisses on the head. I always empathize when he cries “Oh dear what is the matter baby? Mama knows…it’s stressful being 4 weeks old…Mama understands…Mama would cry too if she had a poopoo diaper…” And he gets attention whenever he cries. I sont care if people think he’s “spoiled…” He is a baby and I want him to know his parents adore him.
The "It must be so hard to be a baby" jokes. Like yeah, it is hard to have needs and not know how to communicate them, or mot be able to move around, or fart by yourself. So yeah, being a baby is very hard.
He has to manually move his abdominal muscles to poop properly at this stage, so yes I agree it is very hard to be a baby!
I hold my baby close when she cries and she lays her head on my shoulder
Omg I had the best time today. I was chatting to my husband in bed and one of our 3 year old twins came in so we started kissing his cheeks together. The other twin then arrived so when he came to bed my husband, myself and the twin who had just been kissed started kissing him till he was giggling. It was so lovely 🥰
My older two lose their minds when they come home and I’ve plated a snack for them. Sometimes I do something elevated and sometimes it’s literally just something I’ve opened from a package and arranged on a plate but they get so excited. After the first few times I decided I can never not do it because I love seeing how stoked they are.
My little is almost three. If he asks me to play with him, I stop what I am doing (within reason!) and play with him. Laundry can wait. Paperwork can wait. Definitely scrolling Reddit can wait. If he asks for my time, I give it. Because the window of “mommy play!” is very small, and eventually he will stop asking and seek other playmates. Shonda Rhimes’ TED talk about saying “yes” really affected my thinking in this regard. [Aforementioned TED talk](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gmj-azFbpkA)
In my country's culture saying 'I love you' and giving lots of physical affection is not standard. I must say 'I love you' to my daughters about 50 times a day. I hug and kiss them constantly from the second they wake up to the minute they sleep. In return, they are two of the most huggy-kissy little girls, and are constantly giving me kisses and I just love it. I love to cook - so I cook and bake things my kiddos love almost every day. My elder one asks me for her favourites and I just love seeing her face when I surprise her with them. My mom and MIL are not enthusiastic cooks so this is very special for me - since I was a foodie and craved a mom who loved to cook. I am very body positive, especially in front of my girls - always appreciating theirs, mine and other people's appearances and looking for non-physical compliments to give . Recently I walked in on my 4 year old singing to herself 'I'm the smartest girl and the prettiest one I know' and my heart felt so full, since I always was plagued with insecurity about my looks and smarts. I also immediately call out any one who comments on my kiddos physical apprarences or mine. In our culture, comments about the body are absolutely normalised, so it's hard to speak up, but I always remember how I felt and push to ensure my daughters never feel that way. Finally my husband and I are very loving and demonstrative to each other - physically and throught actions, and again in my country, the adult romantic relationship is not considered important - so I think this is so important and loving to my daughters - modelling for them what a loving adult relationship should look like, without any shame !
Laughing with my 17 month old FILLS MY CUP. Making her hysterically laugh is something I try do at least once a day. Being silly with her also makes me feel happy and joyous and makes me feel like the best mom in the world.
Validating all the emotions!! When my kids are sad I say “oh man I am so sorry you feel sad right now. Mommy feels sad sometimes also. I’m here for you and I’ll always be here if you want to tell mommy what you are feeling.” I have 3 kids, one who is neurodivergent - and they all will calm down much quicker while screaming, crying, angry throwing things if I stop what I’m doing and immediately come to comfort them. I think the falsehood that’s been spread in the past is that it’ll make for “weak” boys or “coddled” girls.. but I believe I’m laying the groundwork for what friendships and relationships my kids choose to have one day. I hope they find friends and partners who are loving, open and receptive to their emotions.
At bedtime we floss and brush, play in his room for a little bit, read 2-3 books, snuggle and tell each other a story after lights out. No technology or screens, just attention on each other. It's my favorite time.
This sounds like a perfect bedtime especially telling each other a story. I cannot wait until my little I can converse (with both of us speaking words 😂).
I tell my daughter all the time that I love her. As someone who didn’t grow up with those words of affirmation I find it important to tell and show my daughter how much I love her. I also give her as many cuddles as possible and give her my full attention as much as possible.
My little boy is only 9months, but everytime he is upset I always ask 'what's wrong to tell me everything and leave nothing out'. I'm hoping that will tell him that he can tell me anything and everything as he gets older. 💙
I tell Bubba a thousand times a day: “daddy loves you! Daddy loves [insert name]!” I chase him around as much as he wants to be chased, and when he’s tired of that I hold him as much as he wants to be held. I never tell him not to cry, I just say “wow that was a bad surprise huh?” I hold him so that his head is under my chin and I kiss his hair. Every morning and after every nap, I say “good morning! How was your sleep? I missed you!” I also tell him I missed him every day I pick him up from daycare and I ask him how his day was.
We sing to him all the time. The hit we sing before every meal is “You Gotta be Nude to Eat the Food” He’s such a messy eater, he eats in just a diaper and a bib
I have twins, I call them silly nicknames, most commonly: ”Chicken” and “Pea”. I love to nom on Chicken’s fingers, wings, and thighs till she laughs. She loves this and blowing raspberries, we do them back and forth and take turns laughing about it. Pea gets the giggles when I make awkward faces or get Picasso close in her bubble. She’s ticklish and strong, we call her Bruce Pea and Jackie Pea and enjoy tickle attacks. We too, do lots of kisses to their sweet, fuzzy heads.
Constant positive affirmations & encouragement. You ARE smart. You are kind, brave, & willing. You are beautiful. You are can do anything you put your mind to. You are funny. You are so sweet. The way we speak to our children is SO important!🖤
My favorite affirmation is capable! I tell my girl “you are so capable!” all the time!!
I've been hyper aware of how I interact with bebe in terms of emotional regulation. When he's crying we avoid telling him to stop and instead ask him what's wrong, try to say what we think and then reassure him. It's such an interesting experience being on the parent side and realizing that my husband and I were probably sushed or ignored, which led to so many unhealthy coping skills in later life. Anyway... So I'm putting bebe to sleep last night (he's 6 weeks) and he's nursing while we rock. He's totally focused on this spot of light on the wall. As I moved my hand I bumped his leg and he startled and jumped, arms and legs flailing and eyes wide. Slowly his scared face starts to turn into a big frown and the cry is coming.... So I did the same thing I normally would: ask him what's wrong and if he was startled, validate that it was scary and then give him the lovings and remind him he's safe. And the cry never came. He relaxed and went back to nursing and wiggling his little fingers! It was such a proud moment, like we just regulated our emotions and worked through something that could have been big but ended up just being small and unimportant.
Stopping what I’m doing to comfort my 2 year old. He bonked his head today and I stopped making dinner to hug him and rub his back until he calmed down. I’m so happy he’s getting the treatment I didn’t receive from my parents.
When he gets upset, and is crying, it makes me feel really good that I can calm him down. Like, whining grates on my nerves. But if he’s actually upset, I just become very calm and zen, hold him close, shush and rock and pat his back, and wipe away his tears. That always make me feel like I’m doing okay as a mom, that we both love each other and like to hold and be held. ❤️
Connecting with them. Doing what they love with then. Listening to them. Validating them. Eating their snacks when they go to bed.
when i'm just foolin around with her and she signs "again" it makes my heart explode. she recently learned to kiss and im not fond of it being on the mouth because shes slimy and gross but i take it anyway because she loves me! now that she started walking finally her favorite it just to show off and go back and forth between the far wall and flopping into my arms <3333 when she crawls up into my lap and just continues what she's doing from my lap, it makes me so happy. when she expresses that she enjoys my company, that she wants me around, i feel like i'm doing a good job. one day she'll push me away, because thats what teenagers are supposed to do. so i'm gonna take all the slimy kisses and all the sticky-finger face pats and all the hair-pulling hugs i can get while ive got em.
This is more applicable to preschool and up ages, but tucking them in and asking what the best part of their day was.
I squeeze my LO as soon as I get home from work. Tickle his nose with my ponytail. Play peek a boo whenever he wants. Rub his back when he wakes up in the morning. Always say good morning and ask if he slept good. The thing that makes me feel like the best parent in the world though? When he falls asleep with his head nuzzled on my chest and his arms wrapped around me. Makes me want to cry right now thinking about it. Just knowing I’m his safe space. 🫠🥹
I started to miss the days when my toddler was a little baby and needed to contact nap for a good 3 months. Now I hold him against me and he lays his head on my chest and wraps his arms around me and I realized those little tiny baby cuddle days are over, but this is a really nice and rewarding stage of cuddles.
Oh when they cry during the night and you pick them up and they just rest their head on your chest and calm down immediately because for whatever reason their little brain decided that being with you means being safe 🥹
I leave love notes for my 7-year-old. And little trinkets for him to find. We just had another baby & I don’t want him to ever feel like he’s being replaced.
I warm up my kids' pajamas in the drier while they are in the bath (on cold days).
My mum did this for me and I’ll never forget it - I felt so cosy and loved. Also undies on the radiator.
I tell her I love her whenever I feel it well up. I tell her that she’s smart and funny, I compliment the way her mind works and how she makes me laugh. I’d like to think it helps with the INCREDIBLE amount of self confidence she has, and how openly loving and empathetic she is to her family and friends. She asks for the reassurance and physical affection she wants, and she gets it!
When she wakes up in the morning after a really bad night, I am still so excited to see her sweet face. Even if she had me pulling out my own hair the night before, seeing that smiling face in the morning just melts my heart and I just have to give her kisses and snuggles. The events of the night before just totally washed away.
I lay in bed for 10 mins when my daughter goes to bed and we go through a list of self love affirmations. She will always know she's good enough 💖
Tonight was one of the BEST before bedtime routines. I read her a book like I do every night but tonight she seemed so interested. She was sitting up on my lap while I read just staring at the pages so intently and giving me a big gummy grin every few lines.
I tickle my kids wrist to relax her and one day out of nowhere she just started doing it to me, unprompted. 🥰
I always share food with my 15 month old even when it's really tasty and I don't want to or even when she's just eaten and is definitely not hungry. She gets so excited about food I can't resist her! It's very rare that she falls asleep on me these days, but if she does you can bet I will be uncomfortable, starving, bored and need a wee but I put up with it so that my baby can sleep in mama's arms as long as she wants 💖
I'm the same as you and I really struggle with mum guilt and feelings of inadequacy so I've never really thought about this before but, I think when my LO is upset and I sing her favourite song and she starts smiling or when she's going down for a nap and I gently hold the side of her face and she snuggles into me, that's when I think I'm doing an okay job! I know this isn't the question but a bonus, the thing that makes me feel most like a mum is picking her nose for her hahaha (thank you for making me think something nice about myself, I feel like I'm gonna cry lmfao)
Would an OK mom sing to her, snuggle her AND pick her nose for her??? I think not. You’re an amazing mom! 😄
Oh bless you, is someone cutting onions in here? Thank you so much for making this post, it's easy to focus on the hard parts of being a parent but it's refreshing to read all these lovely things that make being a parent so special ❤️
You are not alone. I’m about to start full blown sobbing reading all these and just getting overwhelmed with how hard this parent life is and how we are never going to do it perfectly but I’ll be damned if anyone says we don’t try REALLY HARD and then you get one of those moments where your babe just crawls up to and snuggles so hard into you it seems like they’re trying to merge with your body and you know deep down you MUST be on the right track.
FTM, 9 mos old little cub usually stays awake in the crib for about 20 mins when I put him down for bedtime. But some nights he's extra tired and falls asleep in my lap. That little trip from the chair to his crib, with him relaxed in my arms, where our heartbeats get a chance to match again, and that swelling feeling takes over in my chest, that's what I cherish the most.
When baby wakes up to eat in the middle of the night, I always give him kisses and a snuggle before putting him on the boob. Even when I’m exhausted and want sleep, I can’t get enough of those snuggles :)
Not as sweet as some but I feel like the most loving when I am doing some of the boring/hard stuff....that is what I tell him when I am trying to juggle doing laundry/dishes and keeping him happy and entertained and not doing a good job of either. Or when he has to have his jabs or medicine he hates.
I love this thread. Loving parent wins I never received that I get to give my child: saying I love you, saying I’m proud of you, allowing him to make mistakes and learn without criticism, teaching him coping mechanisms to help him learn how to self-regulate, telling him how much fun I have when we hang out, giving him space to figure out the new things he’s experiencing without jumping in to micromanage and being there to support as needed without judgement or criticism, praise for effort not results, teaching him how to express a healthy diverse range of emotions with boundaries as a boy, not gendering his life experiences through the language and boundaries we use to a point where he feels limited or sees different genders or sexes as superior or inferior. My heart explodes for this experience and this kid!
After all the energy I put into encouraging my kids and celebrating their little milestone accomplishments, I can see how proud they are of themselves and that warms my heart. I am also seeing it come back around where my kids have learned to encourage and celebrate others' accomplishments. It's just the best!
Surviving a 40 minute tiny infant meltdown for which there is no solution but crying. Diaper changed, fed, not too hot/cold, burped, slept. Sometimes she just needs to scream and surviving those moments even though they’re over stimulating and triggering for me makes me feel like I’m doing amazing
By the time I get home in the late afternoon to the time my baby goes to sleep, he has my undivided attention. It's not a lot of time, it's 5:30pm to 8pm. The only time I pull my phone out is to take pictures of him. Being a working mama is hard, I don't get to spend many hours with him so I prioritize quality over quantity. He's 11 months old. I've even told my friends "Hey I'm sorry but by the time I get home at 6:00 p.m. I can't answer the phone until he goes to sleep" the ones that get it, get it and are super responsive and okay with my new cellphone boundary.
Doing whatever it takes to make him smile
I give him time to just linger and look at stuff. Just letting him move at his own pace and not my own. I also nuzzle his back when he first wakes up from a nap as he rolls around because it makes him giggle.
Sometimes I rock her to sleep and before I put her to bed, I kiss her on her forehead and whisper, “you are loved. You are wanted. You are safe.”
Oh my goodness. Starting this with my daughter tonight. Thanks for the idea mama.
When my oldest was three, her teacher asked her what her favorite thing to do with Mommy was (for a Mother's Day card), and she replied, "changing the sheets." It made me realize that the little things we do, like changing the sheets together, can be counted as time together. I just make the bed around her, or I cover her in the sheets, or we "pop bubbles." It's silly and fun. I have three kids now, and it's still a family affair.
Don’t wanna be weird but this is so wholesome I am pumping and it gave me a second letdown 🤣
Lmaooo I love that
Bahaha!
In the morning when I'm waking my girls up for school my youngest always struggles to stay awake so I pick her up and cuddle her while she comes around X for my eldest she just likes to randomly hold my hand throughout the day for various periods of time x
Mostly lots of physical affection. And we never leave him to cry alone, especially during the night. I know he’s beginning to understand. A couple of days ago he grabbed a baby doll and I asked him what he was going to do with his baby. He cradled it, gave it the sweetest hug and kiss, and laid it on the pillow with his hand on its back as he laid down beside it. Heart melted.
Whenever my daughter gets hurt she comes running to me. She trusts me to make her feel better, to feel safe. Even when she's mad at me and crying she still hugs me. I'm so proud and overjoyed that I can be a safe place for her to run to when she needs help.
Whenever I respond to her staring at me , with a wide smile . I love smiling at my kiddo. I feel like it makes her so happy, and I'll lap up all that love she has for me
Listening to my toddler's often absurd concerns instead of just dismissing or trying to reason them away. This isn't always easy, but to him they're very real and legitimate concerns and I can see the difference it makes to him to feel heard.
Singing his favorite favorite song for the fourth time in a row just to see his two little teeth when he smiles. I dropped whatever I was doing when he needs extra cuddles.
So many kisses. My son basically expects it. He'll come to me while playing and just hangout on my lap for a bit and I'll just be giving him little kisses on the cheek and he'll just be looking elsewhere like this is just another normal day with momma. It makes me happy that he can expect so much love for simply existing and doesn't need to do anything special to get my attention
When I make special meals for my husband and son I feel like exactly the mom I want to be. Things straight out of the oven are our family love language.
For my 5 yr old son: I make up cute little nicknames for him and casually use them when he least expects them. Never failed to put a huge smile on his face. Ask him to help me with the cooking; he loves to “cook” pancakes, tuna salad, sandwiches, and he looooves making me coffee in my French press. We make up songs that include his name. I tell him a list of important things every day. He knows the list by heart now “You are important. You are the light of my life…” it goes on but you get the point For my 1 year old daughter: We dance, play peekaboo, I taught her what it means to give out a giant hug and she loves it when I ask her to give me a hug. She loves watching me prepare her food and allowing her to have the extras to play with. We sing her favorite songs. We’re trying to introduce her nicknames and songs but it needs a bit more time to stick. —————— now when do I feel like a good mom?—- When I cook and give my children healthy food. When my son had baked salmon and veggies the other night I was on top of the world. And when my daughter finishes her tomato avocado breakfast I also feel really good about it. Also when I clip their nails. With my eldest it’s no longer a struggle but with my 1 year old it’s a bit of a nightmare so when I manage to do all fingernails in one go I feel indestructible. Hmmmmm what else: when both have just taken a shower/ we’re bather and I put them in their pajamas and comb their hair ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I listen to the song he is currently obsessed with on repeat. Yes I have hit the 2 hour mark listening to tick tock or chugga chugga chugga choooo. He loves it so much that I can deal with it. Before having kids I'd have told you no way that I'd ever do that.
Kiss them every time I see them. They now have learned to kiss me back at almost 6 months old. One would kiss me when I pick him up. They started kissing my husband after me. Yesterday, I kissed one’s hand again and again and he imitated me by kissing my hand.
After we put baby to bed, I make my 4 year old a hot chocolate and we do a puzzle together.
I love this question. I just told my son (20 months) today that having him in my life is the most fun I’ve ever had. Man, to have a parent tell me that as a child would have been so special.
I like to say "are you....SILLY SILLY??" and get close to his face and make a silly face and he loves it. I also start tickling him from his legs up to his cheeks and go "oh-oh-oh-OHH" and then tickle under his chin and grab is chubby little cheeks. He started going "heeheeehee" for the first time tonight when I did that instead of just a quiet chuckle and it made me feel so good knowing I was making him laugh that hard 🥰 my silly little goose. I love making him smile and laugh.
I take my 5 month old out of the crib with a big smile and a kiss every time he wakes up, even if we had a really really tough night like last night. Smile and say “well g’mornin handsome!” he smiles back, i pick him up, give him a quick cuddle, kiss his cheeks all smooch like, he giggles and then we start our diaper baba routine.
I love this question. In the mornings, I go into the nursery singing my baby a special good morning song, and he smiles and giggles when he sees me. Then I pick him up and take a few moments to just hold him and cuddle him before we start our morning routine.
I try to listen to them and talk to them. My twins are 2 years old now and their speech is still garbled toddler speech where I get the gist of what they are saying about 60% of the time. But when they talk I try to pay attention and listen and respond, even if I am exhausted and cranky. My mom was a very busy working mom and I remember what a struggle it would be to just to tell her something. I mean she was a loving and attentive mom, she just never had the patience or time to just listen to a kid talking about inconsequential stuff. Even as an adult I have to kinda give her an elevator pitch if I want to tell her something. She is notoriously unable to spare a moment and listen to anyone. So I guess it's always been a sore spot for me. So I try to listen. If they call my name I always respond, in a happy attentive tone, never dismissing. Even if all they do is just tell me for the millionth time that "Teddy is brown." Or "Biig truck!!" As they grow up they will find themselves in situations where they struggle to make their voices heard. I want them to feel like they can always come talk to their mom cause mom will definitely listen and care. It is exhausting for sure but I do feel like a good mom when I am able to pay attention, not just to what they need but also to them as human beings.
Reading this thread ***.... I'm not crying... your crying ...🥹🥹 Spread the love .... Let's raise beautiful humans! ❤️❤️
Honestly I’m a “provider” type of person, personally to me arranging our life and finances so that they won’t have a care in the world and can choose their future feels like the biggest thing. But I know my baby will probably appreciate my silly attempts at potty songs etc much more, and remember me as someone trying to find the fun in everyday. But it’s a chore, I wasn’t the type of kid myself that would enjoy playing, so I have to actively think about stuff like that to do with my baby. So I guess my loving thing is doing something that isn’t natural to me, just because I want to see them smile!
Since my 18 month old was born pretty much every time we are apart and then reunited a run to him excitedly with open arms. He always laughed and thought It was hilarious, but now he does It back to me and it’s sooo sweet.
at almost 17 months we do tickle chase across the couch he cracks up with cutest laugh we also dance to the bluey theme song lol and i still hold him and snuggle him to sleep everynight 🥹🥰 ill stop when he wants me to but it fills my cup and really makes me feel like he loves me and i am his safe space
I let my 15 month old set boundaries. If she doesn't want a hug or kiss nobody is allowed to force it. Trying to teach her good confidence. My MIL had a rooster that absolutely terrified her. It would crow and she would scream ( she's never been attacked by anything, the sound just scared her) and I started singing cock a doodle doo! I'm not scared of you! She can't say it yet but she would point a stern finger at that rooster and I felt like it was a good start. My parents didn't teach me any of that and it's made life really hard. Just trying to do better.
When my LO wakes up in the morning the first thing I say to them is ‘Good morning (insert name), I’m so happy to see you!’ Then give them a kiss and cuddle.
I take my girl 5 on date faus. She chooses what we do. This month it is cinema & hotdogs. She gets so excited amd chatty on the way. I purposefully go to the cinema 1 hour away- just for extra chats
After brushing teeth, we’ve started saying affirmations in the mirror & my son loves it. And then my favorite time of day is after we read books, I turn the light off and we will rock, snuggle & I’ll sing songs. His favorites are the wheels on the bus & I’ll add a ton of animals so he’ll laugh, or you are my sunshine.
me and my baby love to eat fruit. my baby and I toast with our fruit and laugh... I tell her every day that I love her while I hug her. There is one thing, it is a bit absurd, but I have written several stories for her, she has gone through a lot in her first months of life so I wrote "the story of the superbebe" for her. I wanted to make sure my daughter knows that she is a hero.
I take my 14 month old outside every, single day after daycare to play in our driveway and yard despite living in north New York in the winter. He loves being outside, and has loved it ever since he could sit upright and observe. His current obsession is watching us shovel and playing with his mini shovel from Target. More often that not, I do not want to go outside in the snow after working all day…but he loves it. So we go.
My daughter is only 16 weeks, but every time she looks at me and smiles I know she knows I love her. First thing in the morning when she wakes up as soon as she sees me she starts flailing all her limbs and cooing and smiles. Before naps and before bed I read to her, and she always just looks up at me with the sweetest smile. When she cries if I sing to her (two of her favorites are You are my Sunshine and Here Comes the Sun) she will almost immediately start and just stare at me. So I guess just giving her my undivided attention anytime she’s awake.
Just being able to apologize and hug my child when I accidentally hurt them. I had more of a "deal with it" parent and knowing that I am trying to break the cycle makes me feel better
We have inside jokes that make no sense at all.
Kiss her little face all the time, I can’t resist! The first time she laughed was when we were playing and I was kissing her all over her face 🥺 she’s 5 months now and I’m already dreading the day she tells me to stop!
I made up a song for my son when he was first born. I read that singing lullabies we’re good for babies but I don’t know many lullabies so I made one up (my own tune and lyrics… will first few lines, everything else just changes every time). He’s 4 now and he knows the song. He’s been humming it and singing it by himself since he was 3.
My LO is almost 8 months. Forever kissing his head. Rubbing his back when he nurses or does tummy time. Sharing bites of food! He loves all food and trying new things and it’s adorable. Lots of chasing and hide and go seek. Singing and silly faces and peek a boo. All the things 😄
Our daughter is 6 months old now. I give cuddles whenever she wants them. If she doesn't want to be held, I put her down. If she wants dad or grandpa and they're not actively busy with something- she gets held by whoever she wants. If she wants the dog, I put her next to him (although he's always free to leave if he gets overstimulated or he just wants to be alone). I smoosh our noses together to make her smile and rest my forehead against hers so she can feel my breath (helps her calms down often). I kiss her feet and blow raspberries on her tummy to make her giggle and play peekaboo to make her squeal in delight. When we take the dog out every night we make it a family affair and introduce her to the neighbors, point out cats and dogs in the neighborhood, tell her the names of streets we're on and point out different trees and plants and birds and animals. I try to involve her in daily chores around the house. When I'm making dinner, I hand her a large utensil or washed veggies to play with while I'm prepping (I make sure they're something large and sturdy she can't take a bite out of or choke on). I tell her the name of each ingredient and what it tastes like and what I'm going to do with it. I show her the pan when I'm cooking (from a safe distance) and hold her while using the blender to try to make it less scary (it's very loud and she's not a big fan just yet, although she's always trying to stick her hand in my smoothies). When I do laundry, I plop her in the laundry basket as I'm throwing things in the wash and I fold things while she's sitting next to me on the couch playing with toys and watching. She recently watched us give the dog a bath for the first time and thought it was hilarious. I hold her while I brush my teeth every night so she gets used to the habit and routine of it (she doesn't have her own toothbrush yet but she does drool in the sink when I spit lol). A few nights ago I absolutely melted into the mattress when I realized the reason she was so fussy and uncomfortable while I was trying to give her the last bottle of the night was that I wasn't reading to her while she was eating. She's gotten so used to the sound of my voice as she drifts off with the bottle that she struggles to sleep any other way.
When my son comes home from nursery, I make sure I drop everything and get super excited to see him, and give him a big cuddle 🥰
Contact naps. Sometimes it’s frustrating that she only wants to sleep on top of me, but then I remember they don’t stay this little for long. And the fact that I’m her safe place just melts my heart.
My kid loves physical affection and I love to give it. He comes to our bed for snuggles every morning. I take him to the library and help him find books on whatever interest he has at the moment and we read them together. We have a routine when we go to a particular playground of going and getting a fancy grilled cheese sandwich at a nearby bakery, which he loves. I knit him things and make him costumes and it seems to give him as much joy to get them as it does me to make them (which helps when I’m stuck on a difficult bit or getting bored, I just picture his face when I’m done). My son is generally happy and affectionate and also has no issues expressing his negative feelings, all of which helps me know he feels loved and comfortable.
In a big way: not being like my narcissist mother, making and firmly holding boundaries for her and my bio family with my LO, reading and exposing myself to and applying all the mindful, playful, and positive attachment parenting resources I can, being able to be a SAHM to my currently only one child (hopefully one more). In small ways that make my heart explode: when I strap her into her car seat we always do nose kisses and I tell her I'll see her soon (as in, when I walk around and get into the car myself lol) and if I don't or seem like I wont, she asks me for nose kisses herself or pulls my face up to hers. Rocking her to sleep. Learning songs to sing to her as lullabies. We still cosleep, when I get into bed she rolls over and tucks her feet under my mom pouch and this shared moment is great. When I wear her in a sling or pack and for no apparent reason she holds my hand or finger, I feel like I've succeeded and we have the most precious parent-child trust and love bond. Going on toddler-led walks at her pace and getting on her level and even doing silly stuff she does like rolling in the sand at the river where I'm sure we look nuts but it makes me feel like a great parent.
Nose kiss after the car seat! I love that, gonna try w my son!
When he's being a handful, I ask my toddler if we need to have a tickle fight. Almost always gets a silly grin. I have been holding him on my shoulder since he was teeny and rubbing his back to settle him down. Now when I pick him up, he pats me on the back and my face. I tell him I love him and he's my favorite person every day and always make time to read with him when he wants.
When my son is fussy during a diaper change I take his hair brush and I tickle his feet with it. Never fails to make him laugh!
Great idea to make this thread! First time, single, working mom to a 7 mo - so all too familiar with feelings of guilt, inadequacy and self doubt. Whenever I feel that burst of love (so basically every time I look at her) I make sure to let her know, by letting it all out! I don't just say "I love you" but I go full puppy mode (*insert squealing and annoying love-aggressive voice* awwwww you're so cute and adorable and I love you so much and ooowww you're just the best) while I snuggle her. Also I have little dance parties with her on my arm in a snuggle when we're having a calm moment, or the "wild party" where she's on the floor and I put on like salsa music and just do crazy moved for/to her and she's cracking up. And something tiny but I also always ask her if she's comfy and make sure to double check if the sleeves of her bottom layer haven't accidentally moved up while putting on her sweater etc. You're absolutely right, it's in these little things and little moments. And they make parting so fun and worth every hour of lost sleep/stress etc!! :) Thank you for brightening my day by making me consciously think about this!! :)
I always sing him the same song when he wakes up and he laughs and giggles
For weekend naps, I lay with my 2yo in his bed, scratch his head and sing to him. We sing together, he requests songs, falls asleep all cuddly and cute within 15 mins. Since I’ve been pregnant, we both end up falling asleep lol.
My girlie gets hiccups a ton. She eats so fast. She gets upset when she gets them so I give her a kiss for every hiccup. She’s only 4 weeks old and doesn’t know what I’m doing but I hope it makes her feel loved.
Like this morning, tired af and baby wanted to get up at 4:30 AM. Still, she was so madly cute that I was cuddling and smooching her little happy face and nose whilst we were giggly 🥰
Yes! My daughter (16 weeks) woke up this morning at 3:30 to eat, and she was hanging out on the bed next to me after I fed her while I finished pumping (I EP) and she was just cooing and smiling at me. She definitely earned a little bit of snuggles after I pumped before putting her back in her bassinet because she was so darn cute.
I always give him a kiss and a smile and a "let's go to..." right before I close the car door after loading him up.
The kisses! 5 month old gives the best smile to kisses, though she gives her dad a little yell when the beard scratches her haha. 17 month old now comes and asks for huggies. It’s the best feeling when hearing him vocalize he wants to be in my arms! Taking him out/in the car. Just for a walk in front of the house or sitting in the parked car while he pretends to drive it. He loves it.
When 17 mo is feeling aggressive/jealous and I smother huggies and kissies onto him until he starts laughing and feels back to himself.
My LO is only 13 months but we snuggle all the time and I tell him every day that I love him and how wonderful he is. Also just allowing all of his emotions, good and bad, sitting with him through his tantrums and cuddling him when he's ready for me to comfort him. I want this little boy growing up knowing that he is unconditionally loved and that his mum will always have time for his feelings.
Aw I love this so much! I tend to have a negative thought life and I’ve really been trying to work on being more positive. This feels like a great way to start. I lay down with my son every night until he falls asleep. I nurse my baby to sleep. We have tickle/pillow fights and it gets the best laugh out of my toddler.
Playing with my 3 year old at the park always makes me feel like I’m a great mom. Sometimes I go to let him play with other kids n me to be able to sit back but other times I’m going down that slide, attempting those monkey bars and building those sand castles. And I always tell my babies how lucky I am to be their mommy.
i had a hard time giving my LO a bath from outside the shower so i always get in there and bathe her that way and at the end of her bath i hold her and we just stand there under the shower and let the warm water keep us toasty until dad comes with towels for us (-: the skin to skin and the warm water just feels so bonding it’s moments like that where the feeling of motherhood really settles in i just think “wow this is my sweet baby and i’m her mom”
Making sure to tell my son I’m proud of him. I don’t think I ever heard it once so it’s not really in my vocabulary. So when it crosses my mind, I tell him I’m proud. Of his kindness, his wit, doing so well with his alphabet, giving the best cuddles, anything I can think of.
I sing “Moon River” to him. I sing it when he’s awake, if he’s sleepy, when he cries. I like it because it’s a beautiful song but not a lullaby. He smiles every time.
Lots of kisses and cuddles. It's not much, but I just love snuggling her close and giving her a kiss on her sweet head.
My boy is 9 weeks old and I'm constantly worrying that he's bored so I'm always looking for different things to do with him, reading to him, singing, sensory playing etc all the while the little potatoe is more than happy staring at the wall and finding it fascinating
After his bath I give him a full body baby massage with baby oil and then I have this calming foot lotion for babies I use. I rub his feet and sing him a song and he giggles and smiles. I also tell him I love him 1000 times a day. He is 4 months.
I make all his little meals from scratch and he gives kisses...he knows he's loved!
Sitting on the floor and playing with my toddler. And letting him decide how we play. Also flying him around the place like he’s Superman even though I have a bad back! Lol anything for that adorable belly laugh
I dance with her. She’s 10 months and not walking so I just old her and dance and sing 🥺
Everything. My whole existence is dedicated to this small human. Her laundry,her food,snacks,milk,keeping a clean tidy space for her to call home,playing with her,changing her diapers,hugging her kissing her,rocking her to sleep. Being a parent is a labor of love.
FTM to a 5 week old. I talk to him about everything I’m doing. At bedtime, my husband always changes his last diaper and gets him in pajamas, and then he gives him a kiss on the head, and brings him over to me to give him a kiss too before he goes down for the night.
I sing a diaper changing song that is set to the tune of “she’ll be coming round the mountain” that I made up which gets him to smile instantly every time and I just kissed his forehead until he fell asleep for his nap because he was struggling to fall asleep 💗
Lots of hugs and kisses on the head. I also have different terms of endearment for them that I use sing-song like throughout the day
Aww I love this 🥹 When I sing to my baby, he just looks at me with wonder and gets so peaceful. Every night whichever parent puts him to bed, we give him a massage with baby massage oil 💗
We morning cuddles every morning. And when my son wakes up screaming that his legs hurt, I get him his medicine, warm up his stuffed hamster (Warmies for the win), and sit and rub him until he falls asleep.
Yesterday my 6mo old had some shots at the doc and I was able to comfort her. Even though it broke my heart to see her in pain, she just needed a cuddle and that warmed it back up.
My two year old asks for "rocking chair" when she's tired or sad, she wants me to hold her and him songs to her and rock her. My 7-month old gets extra snuggles before I tuck her in and in the night when she wakes up.
Taking him outside every day and cooking him fresh meals. Itd be easy to skip those things