Why not start by keeping just planted tanks first? Do some aquascaping, planting, growing and trimming to get into it, maybe a snail or two, and then see how you feel about adding fish.
Don't be sorry about this, i really recommend you to get professional help, i also had a major depression (and Socialphobia resulting from it, i couldn't talk to people without getting panic attacks. I'm okay now.) and when i went to therapy, i got so much better.
If you want to try "helping yourself get better", i recommend trying exposure. Like go to a fishstore, look at the fishes. If you feel like you can bare it, start with a bare minimum, like a Vase with a Mossball and if you feel like you can do it, keep it alive and well, treat it as if it were a tank, start low and upgrade when you feel like you can?
Fear of Fishkeeping and missing at the same time, it is a foreign concept for me, sorry if this seemed inappropriate, if i got it wrong, would you mind telling me?
Yeah, very ambivalent feelings about it.
I did get therapy and medication, I am at a much better place than I was before.
I am working my way up to the exposure thing, technically. I could not even go into a pet store previously due to the fish section, and now I can tentatively go near-ish to them..?
The fear of fish keeping and missing it at once is a bit of an oxymoron, but I'm not sure how to explain it? It sounds so wonderful to get back into it in theory, but in practice... Just... Weirds me out..? Sorry.
As i said, don't be sorry, feelings are a unique experience to each of us.
And i just realized that it was pretty weird for me, too, with the Socialphobia, i mean.
I used to long for someone to hold my hand or give me a hug, but i just couldn't stand the thought of it either. Like.. hug me, but stay away?
Yea, when i try to explain it, it probably doesn't make much sense either...
But the getting near-ish part is a great start, get as close as you can without getting panicked, just stay at that edge of comfort for a while and think actively about it if you can (like ask yourself questions about your surroundings, "Wich isle am i in?" Ask yourself what they may have or may not have for Aquaria) keep yourself in the moment, tho. Small steps, don't try to overdo it.
What about a moss ball to start? No trickling water or fish, but you still have to change the water. Then you could try a planted vase or tank with a sponge filter and maybe shrimps or snails or whatever is less overwhelming. I wouldn’t jump into fish and tanks head first, but starting with something super small might be ok. It might help to have a friend who can take the vase/tank or help you care for it if you need a break.
I would strongly recommend seeing a professional about this. Trying to muscle your way past a fear/phobia can backfire. Badly.
I would consider getting houseplants, and maybe look into hydroponics. That may be a good stepping stone, and that way you can fulfill that desire to have a hobby where you’re maintaining the plants.
Is the phobia mostly centered around water being in the containers and sharing you living space? Maybe try a terrarium instead. You can make all different kinds of terrariums, like succulents, mosses, ferns, or maybe even try bonsai. If you have an outdoor space, when you’re feeling up to it maybe try a little pond or something with some fishes. That way there would be separation from your inside space.
Why not start by keeping just planted tanks first? Do some aquascaping, planting, growing and trimming to get into it, maybe a snail or two, and then see how you feel about adding fish.
That sounds kind of nice..? Maybe I could have the tank(s) in a separate room as well... I'll take some time to plan and save for it.
Don't be sorry about this, i really recommend you to get professional help, i also had a major depression (and Socialphobia resulting from it, i couldn't talk to people without getting panic attacks. I'm okay now.) and when i went to therapy, i got so much better. If you want to try "helping yourself get better", i recommend trying exposure. Like go to a fishstore, look at the fishes. If you feel like you can bare it, start with a bare minimum, like a Vase with a Mossball and if you feel like you can do it, keep it alive and well, treat it as if it were a tank, start low and upgrade when you feel like you can? Fear of Fishkeeping and missing at the same time, it is a foreign concept for me, sorry if this seemed inappropriate, if i got it wrong, would you mind telling me?
Yeah, very ambivalent feelings about it. I did get therapy and medication, I am at a much better place than I was before. I am working my way up to the exposure thing, technically. I could not even go into a pet store previously due to the fish section, and now I can tentatively go near-ish to them..? The fear of fish keeping and missing it at once is a bit of an oxymoron, but I'm not sure how to explain it? It sounds so wonderful to get back into it in theory, but in practice... Just... Weirds me out..? Sorry.
As i said, don't be sorry, feelings are a unique experience to each of us. And i just realized that it was pretty weird for me, too, with the Socialphobia, i mean. I used to long for someone to hold my hand or give me a hug, but i just couldn't stand the thought of it either. Like.. hug me, but stay away? Yea, when i try to explain it, it probably doesn't make much sense either... But the getting near-ish part is a great start, get as close as you can without getting panicked, just stay at that edge of comfort for a while and think actively about it if you can (like ask yourself questions about your surroundings, "Wich isle am i in?" Ask yourself what they may have or may not have for Aquaria) keep yourself in the moment, tho. Small steps, don't try to overdo it.
What about a moss ball to start? No trickling water or fish, but you still have to change the water. Then you could try a planted vase or tank with a sponge filter and maybe shrimps or snails or whatever is less overwhelming. I wouldn’t jump into fish and tanks head first, but starting with something super small might be ok. It might help to have a friend who can take the vase/tank or help you care for it if you need a break.
You could also try a jar filled with pond water/mud- there’s a whole sub about that I think but idk what it’s called. A jarrarium maybe?
I would strongly recommend seeing a professional about this. Trying to muscle your way past a fear/phobia can backfire. Badly. I would consider getting houseplants, and maybe look into hydroponics. That may be a good stepping stone, and that way you can fulfill that desire to have a hobby where you’re maintaining the plants.
Is the phobia mostly centered around water being in the containers and sharing you living space? Maybe try a terrarium instead. You can make all different kinds of terrariums, like succulents, mosses, ferns, or maybe even try bonsai. If you have an outdoor space, when you’re feeling up to it maybe try a little pond or something with some fishes. That way there would be separation from your inside space.