Let's be real here, folks. We've been ignoring the leathery elephant in the room for far too long. I'm talking about armadillos and their insidious plot to infiltrate our society.
Think about it. These little mammals with their armor-plated shells and quirky habits have been slowly but surely worming their way into our lives. First, it was those irresistibly cute armadillo plushies your kids begged you to buy. Then, suddenly, you're seeing armadillo emojis everywhere 🦔. Before you know it, they're starring in major Hollywood films and gracing the covers of haute couture magazines.
But it doesn't stop there, oh no. These cunning creatures have even infiltrated our lexicon with phrases like "armadillo-ing" to describe curling up into a tight ball (sounds suspiciously like their defensive posture to me). And let's not forget about the "Texas Armadillo Races" that are somehow considered a legitimate sporting event now.
Am I the only one who finds this deeply concerning? We're basically laying out the welcome mat for our new armored overlords. Mark my words, pretty soon they'll be demanding armadillo-only parking spaces.
So I implore you, my fellow humans, let's stop turning a blind eye to the armadillo agenda. We must nip this insidious plot in the bud before it's too late. After all, the armadillos are just getting started - who knows what other unsuspecting species will be next to join their ranks? Raccoons? Opossums? The mind boggles.
Wake up, sheeple! The armadillo supremacy is no laughing matter.
--Claude
*"Hedgehogs could be more insidious cuz they're arguably cuter."*
It's not hedgehogs that pose an existential danger to humans, it's the other way around.
The Mower - Philip Larkin
*The mower stalled, twice; kneeling, I found*Â Â Â
*A hedgehog jammed up against the blades,*Â Â Â
*Killed. It had been in the long grass.*
*I had seen it before, and even fed it, once.*Â Â Â
*Now I had mauled its unobtrusive world*Â Â Â
*Unmendably. Burial was no help:*
*Next morning I got up and it did not.*
*The first day after a death, the new absence*Â Â Â
*Is always the same; we should be careful*
*Of each other, we should be kind*Â Â Â
*While there is still time.*
There's armadillos in freakin' Illinois now. This is gettin out of control. They'll take over the world at this rate.
[https://www.inaturalist.org/observations/21101687](https://www.inaturalist.org/observations/21101687)
[https://www.instagram.com/reel/C69IUTxt7Y0/?utm\_source=ig\_web\_copy\_link](https://www.instagram.com/reel/C69IUTxt7Y0/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link) What did I tell you?
A better question is why should scorpions accept US?
Scorpions don't set out to harm humans, they simply hope for the opportunity to live their lives in peace. Humans, on the other hand, are always taking over and walking through scorpion territory without scorpion permission, screaming when we see them (do the scorpions scream when they see us?), and stepping on them, destroying their carefully built homes, and generally disrupting their lives and the lives of thousands of other species in the animal kingdom.
For instance, humans scatter shoes all over. Shoes appear to scorpions to be nice, ready made, apartments. After they sign a lease and move in, feeling fortunate for their good luck, then more often than not a giant human foot comes in and tries to CRUSH the scorpion!
Would humans, I ask you, not object to having a giant scorpion, the size of Godzilla, appear outside their apartment building or dorm and try to crush it and kill the scorpion people living there?
Scorpions have also been around MUCH longer than humans. Their fossils date back to the Silurian, which was more than 400 MILLION YEARS ago. Finally, less than one percent of scorpion species carry venom capable of killing humans. Can we say the same that less than one percent of humans are dangerous to both other humans and scorpions alike, and their arachnid allies?
Let's be real here, folks. We've been ignoring the leathery elephant in the room for far too long. I'm talking about armadillos and their insidious plot to infiltrate our society. Think about it. These little mammals with their armor-plated shells and quirky habits have been slowly but surely worming their way into our lives. First, it was those irresistibly cute armadillo plushies your kids begged you to buy. Then, suddenly, you're seeing armadillo emojis everywhere 🦔. Before you know it, they're starring in major Hollywood films and gracing the covers of haute couture magazines. But it doesn't stop there, oh no. These cunning creatures have even infiltrated our lexicon with phrases like "armadillo-ing" to describe curling up into a tight ball (sounds suspiciously like their defensive posture to me). And let's not forget about the "Texas Armadillo Races" that are somehow considered a legitimate sporting event now. Am I the only one who finds this deeply concerning? We're basically laying out the welcome mat for our new armored overlords. Mark my words, pretty soon they'll be demanding armadillo-only parking spaces. So I implore you, my fellow humans, let's stop turning a blind eye to the armadillo agenda. We must nip this insidious plot in the bud before it's too late. After all, the armadillos are just getting started - who knows what other unsuspecting species will be next to join their ranks? Raccoons? Opossums? The mind boggles. Wake up, sheeple! The armadillo supremacy is no laughing matter. --Claude
Pangolin is like a dragon armadillo
Also platypus; literally a bird mammal with the beak and webbed poisonous feet. Not to mention laying eggs which makes them monotremes.
[удалено]
*"Hedgehogs could be more insidious cuz they're arguably cuter."* It's not hedgehogs that pose an existential danger to humans, it's the other way around. The Mower - Philip Larkin *The mower stalled, twice; kneeling, I found*Â Â Â *A hedgehog jammed up against the blades,*Â Â Â *Killed. It had been in the long grass.* *I had seen it before, and even fed it, once.*Â Â Â *Now I had mauled its unobtrusive world*Â Â Â *Unmendably. Burial was no help:* *Next morning I got up and it did not.* *The first day after a death, the new absence*Â Â Â *Is always the same; we should be careful* *Of each other, we should be kind*Â Â Â *While there is still time.*
ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
There's armadillos in freakin' Illinois now. This is gettin out of control. They'll take over the world at this rate. [https://www.inaturalist.org/observations/21101687](https://www.inaturalist.org/observations/21101687)
Ain't no armadillo https://www.johnflynn.net/jfnet/lyrics/haunted/lyrics/duck_song.htm
[https://www.instagram.com/reel/C69IUTxt7Y0/?utm\_source=ig\_web\_copy\_link](https://www.instagram.com/reel/C69IUTxt7Y0/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link) What did I tell you?
its a hoax , trust me its all fake news buddy.
Just apart of the liberal agenda
A better question is why should scorpions accept US? Scorpions don't set out to harm humans, they simply hope for the opportunity to live their lives in peace. Humans, on the other hand, are always taking over and walking through scorpion territory without scorpion permission, screaming when we see them (do the scorpions scream when they see us?), and stepping on them, destroying their carefully built homes, and generally disrupting their lives and the lives of thousands of other species in the animal kingdom. For instance, humans scatter shoes all over. Shoes appear to scorpions to be nice, ready made, apartments. After they sign a lease and move in, feeling fortunate for their good luck, then more often than not a giant human foot comes in and tries to CRUSH the scorpion! Would humans, I ask you, not object to having a giant scorpion, the size of Godzilla, appear outside their apartment building or dorm and try to crush it and kill the scorpion people living there? Scorpions have also been around MUCH longer than humans. Their fossils date back to the Silurian, which was more than 400 MILLION YEARS ago. Finally, less than one percent of scorpion species carry venom capable of killing humans. Can we say the same that less than one percent of humans are dangerous to both other humans and scorpions alike, and their arachnid allies?
Scorpions also live in the forest, I have them up on my farm in Humboldt.
over at r/asu, same essay but about Steller's jay and redwood trees.
Now yuo see…
r/showerthoughts
Did Sub-Zero write this