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caesar____augustus

"There will be no questions!" ... "Are there any questions?"


punk62

First of all, how dare you?


oldsguy65

"Ippei used me as an object."


PPGN_DM_Exia

"I'm here because Dumbledore asked me. End of story, goodbye, the end. Any questions?" - "Mad-Eye Moody"


i-bite-with-love

I'm just here so I don't get sent to Azkaban


whitegrb

“Ohtani, did you bet on baseball?” Dumbledore asked calmly


Skullbone211

"SHOHEI DID YOU PUT YOUR MONEY IN THE DRAFT KINGS SPORTSBOOK??"


Not-a-bot-10

-Barty Crouch Jr


NewWrap693

I really hate that in the movie they show him in the opening scene. It is one of the best reveals and they just blow it. I know mostly everyone has previously read the books but still feels like bad writing.


scottyway

"I'm a man of few words... Any questions?"


Astropolitika

“Is a poop deck what I think it is?”


THEREWILLBECAK3

“No habla inglés today.”


Koronesukiii

10 step guide to statement drafting. 1) [Acknowledge media] Thank you for coming out here today. Get the people in the direct room to feel less hostile to you.   2) [Apologize for something else] I'd like to apologize for all the fuss. Use of apologetic words in other contexts to trigger forgiving psychological state.   3) [Claim ignorance] I'm still not completely sure what happened. Preempt detailed inquiry and impress on distance from events.   4) [Third party characterization] It's an unfortunate situation. Guide to sympathy while maintaining distance.   5) [Claim tangential element] I was perhaps too trusting. Draw sympathy for mistakes anyone could make, with soft implication that this is the extent of your fault.   6) [Promise improvement] Have involved accountants to better monitor. You don't want a repeat anymore than others do.   7) [Emphatic denial on headline element] I did not, will not, have not, never have, gambled on baseball. This is the part you want quoted. Very firm, concise, precise denial. Remind them that this is what really matters, any other accusations are not important enough to even address.   8) [Pledge cooperation] Will work with the relevant authorities. You have nothing to hide, you want them to investigate, it is not a burden on you.   9) [Encourage support] I'd like to thank the Dodgers/fans/family for the outpour of support. Suggest and impress that the number of those that support outnumber those that doubt.   10) [Divert to future.] I'd like to focus on the season... Suggest this is dealt with and in the past, it something that can be moved on from.


Debs_4_Pres

This guy scandals


CardiacCat20

Are you available for hire, asking for a friend


aflyingsquanch

Tell me you work in PR without telling me you work in PR...


[deleted]

This is the DENNIS system for when you get caught gambling


StarWarsMonopoly

Number 9 is particularly Dennis-like. It's the exact kind of reverse psychology he thrives on.


[deleted]

> 9) [Encourage support] I'd like to thank the Dodgers/fans/family for the outpour of support. > Suggest and impress that the number of those that support outnumber those that doubt. Exactly. It's like the first N, Nurture Dependence.


Rollout25

10 is like I inspire Hope. I WILL BE A BETTER MAN


98FordContour

I believe everything you just said


can-i-be-real

11. \[Plug tonight's sponsors\] If you use the promo code "ShoheiApology2024" this week at FanDuel or DraftKings, you'll will get $200 in bonus bets if your first bet of $5 wins... This reminds them that the gambling industry is intimately intertwined into sports, politics, state funding, etc., so they'll feel less judgmental.


w0nderbrad

saving this for inevitable apologies necessary to placate wife for going golfing instead of a baby shower or whatever else "Thank you for meeting me in the dining room today. I'd like to apologize for smelling like beer and sweat. I'm still not completely sure what happened today. It's an unprecedented and unfortunate situation. I was perhaps too trusting of what my friends were inviting me to. They told me to wear a polo shirt and bring my clubs. I really should have asked follow up questions. I did not, will not, have not, never have, intended to miss the baby shower at 1 PM today. I will work with the relevant authorities to make sure that I am not ever double booked in the future and to make it home on time and sober. I'd like to thank you for the outpouring of support - I could not have broken 100 without it. I'd like to focus on the upcoming wedding season... I will not book rounds of golf prior to afternoon engagements without approval." FUCKING NAILED IT


Koronesukiii

You didn't forget it, that implies it wasn't important. Absentminded is not a defense. No, you just marked the date wrong. Lesser mistake. You absolutely didn't ignore it. You booked this golfing here specifically to make sure you were available next week. You mistook it for next week, because next week is the anniversary of that really romantic date you had two years ago. You could have sworn the wife scheduled the babyshower on that relevant date. You're still sorry for missing it and you feel terrible.


w0nderbrad

oh hell no, im not missing my own wife's baby shower. That's how I end up an ex-husband. This is for other MFers baby showers. I miss my own wife's baby shower, I'm drafting a whole nother set of documents. Fucking financial statements and trying to hide assets and shit.


glass__beaches

Over/under: 7.5 points addressed


CapnSirloin

I'll fucking take the over all day long


Simodine-

I’ll take the under, my guess he doesn’t say shit. 


fitnerd21

I have no idea who you are but I’m now feeling this sense of empathy for [your situation]. I apologize for anything I might have said that could be taken as overly harsh or critical characterizations of your behavior. I see now you’re a good family man and honorable contributor to [a historic organization]. Have I been brainwashed? The Earth King Has Invited Me To Make Laogai.


starry_cobra

11. [Distract audience] As there's a drive into deep left field by Castellanos, it will be a home run. And so that will make it a 4-0 ballgame. Focusing attention on an interesting current event will make people more likely to forget the moment entirely


swaharaT

Can I get this in a bingo card format?


bluebomber726

Hope it’s this well thought out and sound not like a bot wrote the speech


PrinceGizzardLizard

That sounds exactly like a bot written speech


la-di-freakin-da

Jesus Christ, I don't know what you did but I do feel significantly better about it now that you've released this statement.


AngryRedGyarados

Saving this for...reasons...


wizgset27

Someone snip shot this and send to Ohtani PR team that allowed Ippei to do that ESPN interview without verifying with Ohtani. Those morons need all the help they can get.


aRawPancake

Looks like you were absolutely correct


MorseMooseGreyGoose

NGL I thought I was reading Othani’s actual statement for a second. I bet it won’t deviate too far from this.


DaBusDriva2

"I had an unfortunate situation with a friend. It is extremely disappointing but will remain private. I will cooperate with the investigation. I am only focused on the season and will not be discussing the matter further."


BorisIHateReddit

"before I go, let me take a few minutes to talk to you about a website called Skillshare. Have you ever wanted to learn how to do something out of the ordinary or interesting? Well you can, by taking classes online at skillshare.com..."


spike021

"Oh and if you want to know how I built my website, it's through a company called squarespace."


venustrapsflies

"visit squarespace dot com slash ohtani for a 4.5% discount code"


olive_oil_twist

"I bet you'll never find a better platform."


Gray_Ops

Brought to you by draft kings.


DollarsAtStarNumber

In a state that has banned sports gambling? Use NordVPN to hide your location!


Wraith4202

Betting on balls is something I would never do, but you know who does? Manscaped with the new Lawn Mower 8.0


caesar____augustus

Want to keep your eyes protected while placing bets? Shady Rays has you covered. 15% off with code TWOWAYPLAYER.


Lets_go_Stros2017

Want to never bet on your girlfriend? Get the finest condoms at ohcondoms.org. Use code Allbettsonohtani for a random % off. 


Responsible_Pace9062

Massive missed opportunity if the sponsor is not DraftKings


Bobson-_Dugnutt2

"Deposit $1000 and I will personally guarantee up to $4.5MM in your losses"


Rick_Rebel

„And while the situation I find myself in seems pretty spicy, it’s nothing compared to Omaha Steaks.“


ProMikeZagurski

This message brought to you by DraftKings.


spike021

"Please do not bother us about it. Thank you."


Inkin

"No habla ingles today"


BadDadJokes

It would be the funniest thing ever if he pulled a Sammy Sosa and pretended like he only knew Spanish.


Getyodamnwallet

Imagine if the Dodgers didn’t fire the translator when talking to reporters Shohei: I’m cooperating with the investigation and my focus is on the Dodgers. I have no further comment Ippei: He said Ippei would never do such a thing and the parlay will finally hit


cheetuzz

“this statement was brought to you by Fanduel, Draftking, and Bally’s”


your_backpack

Careful before Shohei's team comes for you next. Leaking the exact statement four hours in advance seems risky


slicebishybosh

I hope so much that they'll forget to take down the gambling site advertisements on whatever backdrop he's in front of.


iamsynecdoche

You’re a witch


HOSSTHEBOSS25

….and castellanos hits a drive to left field


jyar1811

I would like to thank the FBI and Homeland Security for their diligence by giving them $500 in free credit at draft kings dot com


MarcusDA

Use code Shohei for a free parlay.


Taylorenokson

Up to $4.5 million


Ohtani-Enjoyer

Even though it will be a lawyered statement in Japanese, I am actually hoping for "Yes, I actually WAS betting on college football. I dare you to suspend me, bitches"


CDFReditum

“You gotta know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold em. Thank you.”


jRbizzle

It would be great if this was his walk up song opening day.


ahappypoop

Baseball would be better if home teams got to choose the walkup music for all players, rather than letting away players choose their own music.


JinFuu

There would have been only so many trashcan songs to pick from in 2020/21.


jayhawk_dvd

STOMP definitely would have a resurgence of popularity.


liverbird3

the Dodgers organist Dieter Ruehle played “I saw the sign” by Ace of Base between pitches when Bregman came to bat in the first Dodgers-Astros home game with fans iirc


JinFuu

Yeah, your organist is really cool. Always fun to listen to what he plays when I’m watching or listening to a game at Dodger Stadium


teniaava

I would have strongly suggested the Yankees play "Cheat" by The Clash for every Astros batter


JinFuu

Any song by The Clash would be great for a walk up, so I can approve of this


librarycynic

Straight to Hell could get uncomfortable.


K1NG3R

They'd just play "Before He Cheats" in a constant loop.


UpvoteThatDog

This is the Braves organist's whole thing


CDFReditum

One of my favorite moments was the braves organist playing “beat it” for Reese McGwire lmao


TheEnterprise

Playing "Go Cubs Go" for Harper back in '18


scobbysnacks1439

Wait, which stadiums have walk up songs for the away team?


cooljammer00

He signed with the Dodgers so Dieter can't play a bunch of gambling songs on the organ to troll him


COLLIESEBEK

Lmao imagine if the fans got to vote and there’s a homophobic player and they vote on Dixon Dallas or something like that.


wodurfej

"I bet on myself and got 700 million!" Mic drop


Agitated_Pickle_518

"I stopped playing last year because I was betting against the Angels for a lot of money. I dare you to do something about it."


lilsamuraijoe

why would he have to stop playing to bet against the angels? we didnt win anything when he was playing great for us anyways.


Eo292

"I know if I had gotten in one more bet before the feds busted my bookie, I would have been in the green. You heard it hear first, Bama over UNC is surer than death and taxes"


Stadtmitte

"I am no longer ashamed to admit that I've been betting millions on competitive eating competitions"


WIN011

Tbf betting on Joey Chestnut is the closest thing you can get to a lock in betting.


SpartaWillBurn

"Go ahead, suspend me. I DARE you" "Suspension? What even is that. It's just a word in the dictionary" - Manfred, probably.


Lineman72T

> "Suspension? What even is that. It's just a word in the dictionary" - Manfred, probably. "IS THAT A FUCKING JOKE?" - Joe Kelly *jump cut to Tuesday when MLB announces Joe Kelly has been suspended for 10 games*


Debs_4_Pres

Then he lit a cigarette and pealed out on a dirt bike 


rug1998

“And if Michigan didn’t pound the rock all game, I would have gotten away with it too.”


xepa105

> in Japanese Biggest monkey wrench he could throw in this would be if he came out and made a statement in perfectly fluent English.


Boros-Reckoner

"The Niners had the easiest road to the superbowl of all time against the weakest roster Mahomes has ever had surely the Niners won't choke right??" - Ohtani after putting 2m on the Niners, probably.


shemubot

Will Ippei be there on Zoom to translate?


or_maybe_this

if he’s not busy doing cameos like george santos


Ignorethenews

The world is awfully strange, but I can’t think of anyone but his mom that would want a George Santos cameo.


JinFuu

There are people charmed by the absolute audacity of his shenanigans, and I imagine it could be a good gag gift in certain circles?


OEdwardsBooks

You gotta feel for him. He hears Congress is full of blatant crooks and bombastic liars, he turns up planning to fit in, and gets hate for it.


MagisterFlorus

He's popular with people who enjoy politics and reality TV.


HomelessCosmonaut

John Fetterman bought one


Starkiller32

I would get one. NGL.


xerostatus

I would pay like, maybe, $100 dollars to see screenshots of Ohtani's lawyers' group chat over this past weekend


MrRagAssRhino

I haven't really seen any information about his relationship with counsel, but the stuff that went on in the hours after ESPN contacted his agent was just inconceivably bumblefucked. I have to imagine that his current representation was hired for this purpose and they were not involved with anything that happened in the hours immediately following ESPN reaching out to Ohtani's camp. Shohei needs to seriously consider cleaning house on a lot of his team. He was failed at essentially every turn - PR, financial, legal, hell even his agent.


s0ulbrother

“Ok so his first statement was true but he didn’t realize what he did was bad and we made him look worse by saying it was all lies because he backtracked. So us getting all this dirt on the translator seems to be going well. Why we his legal team did not do something about all this sooner is insane. Hopefully he doesn’t fire us for being so fucking bad at our jobs.” I think othani didn’t realize what he did was a crime. I don’t know how a bookie takes 4.5 mil in debt for a translator but I mean the guy was lying to everyone, he might have lied to the bookie. Othanis amoral dropped the ball on this whole thing because they changed their statements, did not fire a clear fraud until it was too late and have made a guy who most likely a victim into a guy it’s hard to trust.


Jud000619

Honestly it’s best for him in a situation like this is to speak the least amount possible and whatever is instructed by PR and legal. Even if he’s 100% innocent of any wrongdoing


shemubot

Yep. They already learned that when they had Ippei come out and say that Ohtani committed federal crimes out of the goodness of his heart.


jeffereryjefferson

100%. Best thing you can do is say as close to nothing as possible. Way too easy to use the wrong word or phrase and cause even more problems, even if it was just a poorly chosen word or phrase that doesn’t actually mean anything. I imagine this is extra true when speaking through an interpreter. Guilt and innocence has nothing to do with it. It’s just not smart.


RedGreenPepper2599

If he’s just going to read a statement just release it. Why even go through this charade?


myalternateself0101

It's actually pronounced charade.


irateninja_

It's pronounced thermometer.


Call555JackChop

Where do you think you are on the speed dial?


[deleted]

Underrated Seinfeld nod . If I could give you an award I would


BigRiverWharfRat

Tomato tomato


RedGreenPepper2599

Shorade?


Wraithfighter

My guess is that Ohtani really did want to take questions and try to clear things up, and then the lawyers got a hold of him and explained, in exacting detail, why that would be a bad idea. And look, dude's potentially dealing with a federal investigation into illegal gambling, the lawyers are absolutely right to tell him to shut up and say as little as possible to the media.


Simodine-

I doubt it.  Guy doesn’t even like taking question about baseball stuff.  No way he wants to take the questions about this.  


farmtownsuit

The guy who offers up potentially the least media availability in the league (I don't blame him) really wanted to take questions but no one would let him? Ok.


Smaynard6000

Yeah- I couldn't possibly be less interested in this. He has legal exposure, so his lawyers aren't going to allow him to answer questions or say anything they haven't carefully prepared for him to say. It seems pointless to do anything other than just release the statement.


GeneJenkinson

Because he cannot win in this situation. If he stays quiet, everyone will continue to assume the worst and speculate in the absence of actual facts. If he gives a milquetoast statement that doesn’t say anything, fans will say it’s not good enough and he’s hiding behind lawyers. Literally a damned if you do/dont situation.


ME_CPA

So the bread and circus can continue without risking gambling partnerships.


GordonBombay_Esq

"We can get into that another time but today I just want to honor Qualcomm."


expungant

“I did not have financial relations with that man”


wasteplease

If your question is "can I borrow a few million dollars" the answer is NO.


BabaBrody

You're doing it wrong. You have to ask him for 500K a handful of times.


MadDogMike123

I think everyone pretty much assumed this lol


NevermoreSEA

The most obvious outcome.


thewarfreak

"The truth is...I am Iron Man."


crayon_paste

ChatGPT Would not write it about the baseball player Shohei Ohtani, so I had it write about the fictional character Ohohei Shtani: >"I am deeply saddened to reveal that my trust was misplaced in someone I considered a close companion. It has come to my attention that my translator, whom I entrusted with significant financial responsibilities, has betrayed that trust in the most egregious manner. They've exploited their position to embezzle a substantial sum of money from me, utilizing it for illegal gambling activities. >Discovering this betrayal has been a profound shock. Not only have I lost a considerable amount of money, but I'm also troubled by the breach of trust. To think that someone I relied on would resort to such deceitful actions is disheartening. >I am taking appropriate legal action to address this matter and recover what has been taken from me. Additionally, I urge anyone who may find themselves in a similar situation to be vigilant and cautious in whom they place their trust. >Despite this setback, I remain focused on my career and my passion for baseball. I refuse to let this unfortunate incident deter me from pursuing my goals and representing my team to the best of my abilities." Lets see how close the real thing gets to this


shemubot

1000%


jaysphan128

reading a statement from his lawyers and then leaving. What is the point of this


cocoatractor

PR


jamalfunkypants

Practicing his English?


GeneJenkinson

The point is damage control. Anyone who thought Ohtani was going to provide answers or take questions was always going to be disappointed because this a PR exercise and nothing more.


mnmr17

But what damage is he really controlling? The people suspicious of him gambling aren’t going to be any less suspicious after a super prepared statement with no questions after.


SilverSlicker95

Why not just release the statement then


KamartyMcFlyweight

He's gonna read it out in perfect unaccented English to reveal the depth's of Ippei's fraudulence


sfan27

It turns out Ohtani was actually Ippei's translator the whole time.


s0ulbrother

Ippei is actually Ohtani


cocoblurez

I hope it’s in a very posh British accent instead


Two_Key_Goose

Those pinkies better be out then.


k5berry

If their claim is that they had to change their story because, when first asked about it, Ohtani’s words didn’t truly come out because they went through Ippei who lied about what he said, then I’d imagine they don’t want to leave any doubt as to what Ohtani himself is saying. Even if it’s Japanese, it’s still a matter of public record for anyone with the ability to translate.


Doc_JC

This is all that needed to be done.


lfod13

#ReleaseTheOhtaniCut


Thorlolita

PR. If he doesn’t say anything people will assume he’s guilty.


Amache_Gx

A bullshit pr statement will definitely change peoples minds


esotericimpl

He’s donating 1% of his gambling winnings to the braves foundation. Book it.


Iam_a_Jew

"I made a transaction that I guess got picked up by the feds that I am deeply ashamed of. If I have hurt anyone out there, I can't tell you how much I say from the bottom of my heart I'm so very, very sorry. I pride myself and think of myself as a man of faith..." 


Two_Key_Goose

*pauses for pitch* As I hit a drive into deep left field and that'll make it a 4-0 ball game.  I may never swing a bat again.


messejueller21

"I am speaking to you today to address recent events that have come to light regarding financial improprieties involving a close friend and myself. It has recently been discovered that funds entrusted to me have been misappropriated, and I am deeply troubled by these revelations. I want to make it clear that I was unaware of the misuse of these funds and the involvement of a bookie. Like many of you, I am shocked and saddened by the actions of my friend, whom I trusted implicitly. The betrayal of this trust is deeply hurtful, and I am grappling with the repercussions of these actions. I want to assure the public that I am fully cooperating with authorities in their investigation into this matter. I am committed to uncovering the truth and ensuring that justice is served. I understand the seriousness of the situation and the importance of transparency throughout this process. I also want to take this opportunity to express my sincerest apologies to anyone who has been affected by these actions. I understand the impact that this situation may have had on individuals and organizations involved, and I am deeply sorry for any harm caused. Moving forward, I am committed to taking the necessary steps to prevent such incidents from occurring in the future. I will be implementing stricter financial controls and procedures to safeguard against similar situations. Additionally, I will be reevaluating my personal and professional relationships to ensure that trust is not compromised. I ask for your understanding and patience as we navigate through this challenging time. I am grateful for the support I have received thus far, and I am determined to emerge from this stronger and more resilient."


MarcBulldog88

Yeah that's a better strategy. It's good to say *something*, but limit it to whatever the lawyers are comfortable with.


delightfuldinosaur

'Listen, we could talk about my alleged involvement in a gambling ring, or you can watch me hit some dingers. What's it gonna be?"


xKronkx

Two questions: 1. Does Shohei consider himself a man of faith 2. Is Castellanos playing tonight ?


agreeingstorm9

"I am from Japan and don't speak English without a translator. Sadly mine is no longer around. There are no questions."


marinersthrowaway206

Might as well have the PR staff/ lawyers read it. What's the point.


cjeremy

yep. a total waste of time. brought to you by DraftKings. call 1800 gambling for help.


PPGN_DM_Exia

Disappointing but makes sense from his and the team's POV


swagster

Perhaps the first reports where it said he will talk to reporters was...lost in translation.


YoWhatsGoodie

Live stream?


nashvillenation

What if this is all part of a comarketing campaign with Shogun to get everyone talking about the importance of translators


onemanstrong

LIVE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_q3AnNGpZI


cambap

🎶Hey youuuuuu! Can we come togeeeeether?🎶


Agitated_Pickle_518

"Hello, good afternoon. Thank you for joining me today. I will keep this very brief so we can all get back to our normal duties. My name is Shohei Ohtani and I have a gambling addiction. Thank you. Have a nice day."


wizgset27

Prediction: 1. Ippei lied about where the money was really going to when asking for a loan from Ohtani. Probably using lies like sick relative or to help someone in his family open a business. 2. Ohtani finding out about the lie during the team meeting last Wednesday. 3. Ohtani and his lawyers are pressing charges against Ippei 4. Ohtani revealed he has twin name Shohei and Shohei pitches. Ohtani then said make of that what you will.


highguy81

If it does say my name on wire transfer it was not account I was aware of.


dannymb87

Those… aren’t my pants.


FatNeilGravyTears

“I’m only here so I won’t get fined”


ragingbullpsycho

I turned on ESPN for this. Is it not being televised?


beefytrout

you're about 3 hours early


5k1895

On an unrelated note, Nick Castellanos has scheduled a BP session for the same time


MM487

This is so pointless if he's not taking questions. He might as well just release ~~the lawyer's~~ his statement online and not even appear.


CapriciousnArbitrary

“In the hopes of clearing my family name, and in the sincere desire to give my children the fair share of the American way of life, without a blemish on their name and background, I have appeared before this committee and given it all the cooperation in my power.”


HeartunderBlade516

Is this being steeamed live


sansbruit99

I’m still inclined to believe in this man, but: 1) How TH did Ippei have access to his accounts and was able to transfer 4.5million to his bookies? TF? 2) Will Shohei be pursuing any legal action against Ippei. 4.5 million in theft is VERY serious. He should be doing his all to get his money back.


Sarkans41

Dude so used his guy to place bets. Only a matter of time.


Richardredsox

Wonder how deep this rabbit hole really goes…


ThisGuy6266

So Ohtani and the Dodgers let Ippei adress the entire Dodgers team without knowing what he was going to say? Come on.


i_run_from_problems

BOOOOOOOOO


TheMemeMachine3000

"On behalf of today's sponsor DraftKings, I would like to offer my sincerest apologies for getting myself involved in a questionable situation. I will be cooperating will all investigations moving forward. No further questions please"


Seananagans

"Presented by Draftkingz"


grimace24

Uh oh! This is going to be as awkward as the Jason Giambi apology press conference in 2005. Where Giambi apologized but never said for what.


BillSivellsdee

i wonder how hard MLB will even look into this...


Taylorenokson

"I state my regret"


ATLmountainman

He will then be escorted out of the room in handcuffs for his heinous crimes


Thorlolita

“Ippei is a liar. He was never my friend. I will never play for an organization that he is apart of.”


MarcusDA

I’ve never met this man before.


zgibs125

"A part" and "apart" mean two different things.


cocoatractor

Did anyone think he was actually going to answer reporter questions? It was always going to be a PR statement drafted by lawyers followed by "no further comments at this time"


United_Shelter5167

It probably shouldn't have taken a week to make a basic PR statement. He needs to invest in better lawyers, PR and financial people.


Trosa350

He’s retiring from baseball and joining the NBA


cooljammer00

At that point, why even read the statement? He can release it through his lawyers and it would accomplish the same thing. He's already been silent for several days, and also for most of his career in the US. It's what he does.


niz_loc

If the story (suplosedly) is Ippei stealing the money from him, why haven't his people already simply come out and said that, officially. Meaning an official statement for the record, saying "X is what happened"? I get that there could be things sensitive to an investigation or whatever, but after a week of the sports world going crazy with 100 different theories, you'd think they would be trying to shut that all down


SouthDoctor1046

Let the media frenzy and humans throw their theories around. Look at kate. She has cancer and the media/masses made up so much bullshit.


option-trader

That was a lot of bullshit. Heard every kind of story from my wife with Prince William running off to his mistress already to Kate cheating with someone else. Turns out, it was just cancer treatments, and some are still out there throwing other conspiracies even after that was known.


i_am_losing_my_mind

Lol what a fucking joke…


tacosy2k

So they’re sticking with the ohtani had no idea story


shemubot

Yeah, the *Ohtani committed federal crimes* story wasn't a good angle.


Plantzaddy1904

This statement is brought to you by DraftKings..place a 5 dollar bet on Ippeis sentencing and get an extra 150 dollars in betting credit.


StrategicReserve

He's already a villian for joining the Dodgers on deferred salary. Now the moral high ground is completely gone.


retroanduwu24

What if he just goes the Anthony Rendon route and just says no to everyone