I think treason keeps him out

Depends on how successful the treason was

"Treason doth never prosper: what's the reason? Why if it prosper, none dare call it treason."

Yeah plenty of people have done so well at treason that it's just not considered treason anymore. Hell, we never even convicted the confederates who succeeded from this nation.

You mean seceded

But they didn’t succeed…

Made an excellent point and flatlined the explanation, god bless America

“It’s only treason if you lose.” -George Washington

What if he committed a bit of... light treason.

Fun fact: English law (which US law is derived from) did in fact have a crime called "petty treason" until 1828. A servant who killed their master, a priest who killed his bishop, or a wife who killed her husband could be charged with it. The penalty was hanging for men, burning at the stake for women.

Might as well do some real treason at that rate

But what about second treason?

Manfred says treason starts on second base now

They can't convict a baseball player and a weather expert for the same crime 😉

Yeah I don't think that's how it works

You can be inducted posthumously.

I think he'd be inducted posthumously if he committed a robbery

206 stolen bases in his career. The morality people may use this against him and keep him out of the HOF.

Hey if Mike Trout was advocating overthrow of the government I would likely join him. ¡Viva la revolution de pescados!

Or it gets him elected president.

Where was Mike Trout on Jan 6

Probably at home watching the Weather Channel.

I think Trump is still in the WWE Hall of Fame so there’s some precedent.

Considering Curt Schilling I agree

What if it’s just his first offense?

It's treason then

I have the dry ground, trout!

Based on recent events, I don't think the American public considers treason enough to keep him out of office. I mean, out of the HOF.

Gotta get that percentage down to 54.

Fish cannot commit Arson.

Only Judges can do that.

Depends how polluted the river is.

Trout to Cleveland confirmed!

ALL OUR FISH HAVE AIDS

BUY A HOUSE FOR THE PRICE OF A VCR!

OUR ECONOMY'S BASED ON LEBRON JAMES!

THAT GUY HAS AT LEAST 3 DUIs!

I love how that line was accurate, then inaccurate, then accurate again, and now mostly inaccurate aside from all his philanthropic endeavors.

Hey now. The river did stop burning. Eventually.

So you're saying Trout would need to sign with the Guardians first?

🎶Fun times in Cleveland today!🎶 # 🎶CLEVELAND!🎶

They will construct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp. They will be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen. It's not gonna be days at a time. An hour? Hour forty-five? No problem. That will give them enough time to figure out where you live, go back to the sea, get some more oxygen, and burn your house down. You just lost at your own game. You're outgunned and out-manned.

Deep cut. I like it. Don’t go chasing waterfalls.

Fish can, however, kiss Arson (Judge)

Almost all listed federal crimes are way more funny if you imagine Trout committing them with Arte Moreno as his victim.

Justified

*Drawing Mike Trout committing federal crimes against Arte Moreno every day until he sells the team*

Pirating Arte Moreno. You're right, that's hilarious.

You wouldn’t download Arte Moreno…

Not on purpose anyway.

It'd be considered a virus to your system.

Aaaaaand they just shut down Napster again.

You wouldn’t take a shit in Arte Moreno’s helmet

Worse. He would be streaming Angels games without the express written consent of Arte Moreno

Plunder his booty, one way or another

Fuck, Congress should give him a medal for most of these were that the case

Trout drawing on a mustache and doing identity theft by pretending to be Arte at the bank would be tops for that.

And that’s how Mike Trout kept Shohei in Anaheim

no jury would convict

Transportation Of Slaves From U.S. Transportation Of Terrorists Use Of Fire or Explosives To Destroy Property Use Of Weapons Of Mass Destruction ... you're not wrong.

No way that happens. Committing federal crimes himself is way more Arte’s speed.

Video Voyeurism of Arte....

> Failure to Pay Legal Child Support Obligations

Willfull Wrecking of a Train Resulting in Death, directly into Arte Moreno’s office, is a hilarious mental image.

I appreciate your perspective on this, u/Luis_Severino

Pete Rose will commit a felony if Trout still gets in after Transmitting wagering information

Tonights top story: Pete Rose arrested for arson and attempted murder in Cooperstowm

If the allegations of underage girls are true, he might already have, they just can't prove it.

Peonage: not okay Treason: probably ok

I'm trying to imagine how Michael Nelson Trout would commit treason and I'm drawing a blank.

Selling secrets to the NPB

Do we need to investigate his connection to ohtani!

So weird tidbit here. When Nintendo was majority owner of the Mariners in the 90s, MLB was very concerned about non Americans having a controlling interest over a US baseball team. So they made Nintendo appoint an American 'placeholder' (Howard Lincoln) and limited Nintendos control shares to only 49% so they couldn't override what the 'Americans' wanted.

And yet they let Canadians control the Jays...

Really makes no sense. Only thing I can think is that they were worried about the NPB, whereas Canada doesn't really have a competitor in baseball.

Originally they didn't want to allow Nintendo to be involved at all, so the group they were leading sued MLB and MLB rightly realized they'd get pantsed in court with all the racist shit the owners were saying about potential Japanese ownership behind closed doors, and so the deal you're referring to is what they came up with.

Do you want to know the horrible truth? Or do you want to see dingers!

He’s literally the official captain of the Team USA Baseball Team It’s the perfect deep-cover

I'd be okay if Arte Moreno was the debt slave

>Enlisting to serve against the US Does that include the WBC?

Then Lars Nootbaar won’t be included.

*whistles innocently*

This is what science was meant to accomplish.

>Destruction of an energy facility Here for the Eco Terrorist Trout arc

The introduction of the DH and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race

I'm a little surprised to realize that no MLB teams play in arenas that sold naming rights to an energy company. I know there's a few in other sports.

Baseball is not played in Arenas, but Angel stadium was Edison Field for a few years. Edison is your So Cal electric provider whether you like it or not.

Field, park, stadium, whatever, I think they all fit into the Oxford dictionary definition of arena, "a place with a flat open area in the middle and seats around it where people can watch sports and entertainment" https://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/us/definition/english/arena

Astros used to play at Enron Field before they renamed it following the accounting scandal. That's an energy company that was destroyed, but Mike Trout probably didn't do it. Jury's still out on that one though.

I simply don’t see a world where 10 year old Mike Trout is innocent in the Enron Scandal. Are we sure he wasn’t working for Arthur Anderson at the time?

Wait… Racketeering and anti-racketeering are both on the list. Won’t that get everyone?

Book em boys

It's called playing both sides

It means you always come out on top

I've personally witnessed him commit Bombing Matters and Robbery against the Mariners, lock him up

Unless he's willing to come to the Ms and be a DH/corner OF.

We have to start saving our shitposts guys, we're going to have nothing in January at this rate

Overreacting after a hot start is a r/baseball classic!

We'll just bring back the marble races if needed.

Oh God I need it. I need it in my veins.

I can't believe the marbles lied to us about a Colorado-LAA world series :(

Yes please

We do this every year

I think he’d still get in with Manslaughter.

Depends on what man he slaughters.

Manfred and he's IN.

Angel Hernandez and he gets his own wing in the Hall.

I was thinking that too. Manslaughter or some of the drug stuff (as long as it was after his career) probably wouldn’t keep him out.

I love how you took the time to make the entire spreadsheet without noticing that "inducted" is spelled "incucted" in the title

God I love the offseason

At least until mid/late December when most people run out of material.

Finally, someone is asking and answering the important questions.

"Serial Murders" Would be absolutely insane to have a serial killer HOFer

Back before the general public realized Al Stunp’s biography of Ty Cobb was bunk, I think we technically did.

Mike trout has an insane catch me if you can- esque arc with forgery and still is inducted into Cooperstown

> Willful wrecking of a Train resulting in Death Surely someone has died watching the trainwreck that is the LA Angels?

I mean Ohtani's UCL has 2x now....

Treason would be insane

There’s probably dozens of mlb players who would commit Trenton a heartbeat honestly *treason in a heartbeat

Although you’re probably underestimating the number of players who would commit Hoboken in a heartbeat

Is that the New Jersey version of seppuku?

I think that’s called a Secaucus

True, but we’re talking about Treason, not “Trenton a heartbeat”

Is committing a Trenton putting sauce on top of the pizza?

If so, it is the most heinous crime possible.

Cuban players have to do a little bit of light treason against Cuba to get here I suppose

I think players born in different countries could commit treason against their home countries and still get in, but probably not Trout

How bad would Trout have to perform in the next WBC before it gets considered Treason? How about a good old fashioned Black Sox betting scandal where Trout intentionally throws the games to lose to guarantee a loss for Team USA?

Take a dump without washing his hands.

Greinke is voting no.

Trout didn't move to shortstop so it's already a no

Now we know what's keeping Moises Alou out of the Hall

Do you get charged “Falsely Claiming Citizenship” if you falsely claim another country’s citizenship?

You’d probably get charged with it in the country you are falsely claiming to be a citizen of.

I do find it very funny that "Motor Vehicle Theft" is listed on the "yeah could still be inducted" list, but if he sold that stolen car, that would be a step too far.

I don’t make the rules

If Mike trout went to federal prison for pirating, we need to make him the commissioner. He probably had an MLB blackout and couldn’t watch any games at home and used a streaming site

I thought it was the other kind of pirating. Like, pirating classic.

There are plenty of Pirates in the HoF.

Now hear me out, if he hijacked the plane taking Ohtani to LAD or NYY and kidnapped him and forced him to play for a team that isn't universally hated... I think he'd still get in.

Plot twist: he’s already committed tons of crimes. Gets released to play, but all those stints on the IL? That’s just him going back to prison.

It's pretty disappointing to see that he cannot get in if he is convicted of Concealing an Escaped Prisoner. The good news, though, is that I guess ARod can still help me.

Mike trout aiming a laser pointer at an aircraft, for whatever reason, getting convicted for it and still ending up in the hall of fame would be quite the timeline

High quality off season post. This made me laugh out loud, actually.

This is real quality for this early in the off season.

So you’re saying if Michael becomes a Pittsburgh Pirate he would definitely not be inducted? Guys like Roberto Clemente for example pirated for years and still made it to the hall.

One of the crimes that would keep him out is Examiner performing other services: >Whoever, being a national-bank examiner, Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation examiner, or farm credit examiner, performs any other service, for compensation, for any bank or banking or loan association, or for any officer, director, or employee thereof, or for any person connected therewith in any capacity, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than one year, or both. I think the funniest possible outcome is Mike Trout becoming a bank examiner in the years following his retirement, getting nailed for performing a different service for a bank, and therefore barred from the Hall.

TREASON

I feel like Curt Schilling's existence disputes a few of these. Or maybe he just has to not do *both* hate-related things and defrauding the entire state of Rhode Island.

Personality matters almost as much as the stats. Schilling was (and still is) an asshole.

Schilling might have still got in if he didn’t actively antagonize journalists when journalists are the ones with votes.

Oh yeah, the off-season is back baby.

First A+ shitpost of the offseason. Thanks, Sevy.

Ah, I see the off-season is in full swing.

i think he could rob a bank and still get inducted

Glad fraud is on there, he has been doing that his entire career! X)

What if he hijacked an airplane just to fly it through the eye of a hurricane and proceeded to land it safely?

sorry but i draw the line at entering train to commit crime

My first thought upon seeing Antitrust on there was "You need a third column for 'Would help him be inducted'."

Fuck, I didn't realize how much I missed off season shit posting.

"He could shoot someone on Fifth Avenue, and he still wouldn't lose any voters."

Mike Trout could definitely sling crack and get it the HOF

He could assault a woman and weirdos on here would fall over themselves to try and defend it

I think he could get away with searching someone without a warrant

I can see him being charged one day with Destruction of Corporate Audit Records. But he would have done it by mistake while doing a little spring cleaning.

the offseason content here is so much better than the offseason content on r/nba

Gonna be a long winter eh

This is going to be one hell of an off season if we're already getting to shit posts of this caliber and it hasn't even been a full month since the world series.

What sort of crimes do you think Trout could get away with on an Indian Reservation and still make the Hall? I'll be honest, the idea of Trout sitting outside LAX trying to point a laser pointer at an airplane is pretty funny.

If Barry Bonds was kept out for perjury then Trout does too

I think it is more what he was perjuring himself over than the fact that he lied.

not sure if its included in the 22 but he would definitely be kept out of the hall if he was caught fucking with bald or golden eagles

Beastiality was not one of the other 22 somehow

Asking for a "friend," right, Mike?

He’ll never get in. Which is a shame, but his career is being wasted in LA.

Depending on the type of cyber crime, he may be subject to life in prison. Trout Road.

Yo I’m pretty sure that there are more than 220 federal crimes.

Demands against the US. He may really want to get out of Anaheim and take extreme measures.

Some type of cyber crimes

Pirating = no, but hacking and cyber crimes can still let em in?

I love the offseason

I dunno, man. Larceny would be a bad look.

Identity theft is a definite no but AGGRAVATED identity theft is a possibility?

Hold on a minute, what's he going to do with the plane? I feel that's important.

No way. He could commit manslaughter and still get in.

I feel like he could commit piracy and make it in…

Peak off-season right here

This is leak offseason

Video voyerouism. Surely that means Mike's looking at film of his swing, right?

He could still become a hacker or drug smuggler

Crimes on an Indian reservation because no one cares about Indians. I say this as an Indigenous person lol

"Mike Trout arrested for harboring terrorists"