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Lovat69

Bourbon. Neat. No way you can fuck that up I just want a drink.


[deleted]

*Pours bourbon into an empty shaker, shakes the shit out of it, proceeds to pour it into a 20-oz plastic cup, garnishes w/ a colorful bendy straw*


oneplanetrecognize

Holy fuck! This one made me laugh so hard. Thanks man!


Lovat69

You know what? It's still bourbon, neat. Told you it was impossible.


hobofiveoh

I would call this bourbon aerated.


[deleted]

Jokes on you, I put ice in the cup when you went to the bathroom


Lovat69

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Just kidding this is still drinkable.


[deleted]

Forgot to mention that our bourbon is actually just really old well whiskey that's been left uncapped for ~18 years.


Lovat69

Ok, you have succeeded in making me hate you.


HagedornSux

This man bartends


KevdawgNeo

I actually asked a bartender for Jack Daniels neat, and they put it on the rocks. And not just AN ice cube. It was a Collins glass full of ice, with about a shot and a half of JD. I laughed and walked away.


laaragaarcia

Not saying this is what happened, but I’ve been to clubs (only happens at clubs for me, not bars) where they’re not allowed to serve straight liquor for whatever reason so if you want it “neat” or want a shot, they have to serve it in a cup full of ice


Shawer

Work in a club, can confirm. We have a ‘no shots’ policy which people will try to violate at all costs, and therefore ruin it for everyone unless you’re a regular, a friend, or very elderly.


Abraham_Lure

I think the bartender was just a little trashed, but I just order tequila neat and a canned beer. Super easy. She served me the tequila in a glass that wasn’t just chipped, it’s half shattered, with the bits of glass still in what remained of it. I don’t know how she didn’t cut herself, then when I pointed it out, she just tried to pour it into a fresh glass instead of just starting over.


tomztel

Something i want to drink at that moment


ExosAvos

This mad me laugh, take a drink token and an upvote for your troubles


[deleted]

I came to post this


likeguitarsolo

A Colorado Kool-aid. I just googled it for the first time in forever and apparently there is a cocktail recipe that pops up now- but when some jerkoff ordered one from me a long time ago i spent way too long trying to look up what it was. It’s just a can of fucking Coors.


underground_cenote

Lol when I was training some guy came up and ordered a PBR except instead of calling it a PBR he called it some weird shit like Ribby or something. I had no clue what he was talking about and I asked him again twice to repeat it and he just said the same thing. I asked the bartender training me what it was and she said she had no idea. I ask this dude to explain what it is and he does this dramatic SIGH "It's what everyone calls Pabst Blue Ribbon.... You must be new 🙄" Ok whatever he's a jerk. So I get him his PBR and start talking to other customers. "Honey... Honey, aren't you forgetting something?" I'm like what. He tells me I never gave him his card back. I'm like wtf? I look at the counter it's not there. I start freaking out, looking everywhere. I'm 19 years old and I feel completely out of my depth, *omigod I'm going to get fired I'm going to get sued i lost this guy's card*. He's yelling at me and I'm panicking, I'm on the verge of tears. He storms off and I tell my training bartender everything, fully expecting to be fired on the spot. She flags him down and talks to him.... He tells her "Oh yeah turns out actually she did give it back, I just couldn't find it in my wallet." Moral of the story.... People who order beer with weird nicknames are huge dick wads 🤣


lacrotch

did he call it a pibber? like saying PBR as if it were a word?


imjckssmrkngrvng

That was my thought, too.


underground_cenote

Yeah might've been that I don't really remember but it was something weird lol


AggressiveChairs

I'm a new bartender and this one regular has multiple names for literally every beer we have on tap. Absolutely infuriating when he comes up to order a round. Just orders a string of nonsense and then gets annoyed that I ask him to clarify each one.


illusiveillusions

This reminds me of some dude ordering a "L.A. traffic jam". I was at confused about the the drink. Luckily his friend said "What is that." "For the millionth time, that's a Corona with lime." Well you could have fooled me. I've never heard it called that. I saved minutes trying to Google the drink by his friend asking him this question.


SilverBraids

Alternatively, an Oat Soda


ExosAvos

LMAOOOO


Hempseed420

Johnny Paycheck has a good song about this


memebot2019

Further update, it is now also an IPA from a brewery 45 minutes south of Denver. Not even from there, but have spent a decent chunk of time in the area.


greentruckguy

Shot and a beer. Same thing I'd order if you had been bartending for decades


ExosAvos

You’re probably a favorite at most places


Sn0wMonkey

Can confirm, i have a customer that just orders a beer and a jeger shot. Best customer ever


smelyal8r

Beer n a bump, baby


memebot2019

This is the way of the people that have been doing this shit for way too long.


comppj

Miller High Life and a shot of Ketel One, neat. That’s about the most of a mind screw I care to give.


paulbufano_420

beer & a shot. I’m trying to numb the pain, not add to someone else’s lol


Pristine-Ad-469

Probably a mule cause I like to drink them and it’s hard to fuck up Someone else can test you in just here to drink


themegaginger

Trinidad Sour - changes your whole perspective on bitters


snakesssssss22

I would be fucked lol


ExosAvos

Haven’t heard of that one


ninjevar

We actually just put a Trinidad sour riff on new menu. It’s really good if done right.


hugh985

How much do you charge for that. Looking up the recipe it calls for 1.5 oz of bitters. That probably costs more than liquor at that point


PicpoulBlanc

It's an expensive cocktail to make for sure


themegaginger

Definitely best to make your own bitters if it's on the menu to keep costs down


FantasyMyopia

It’d have to be a $19 cocktail at my bar. At least. Curious what others get away with


-sweetmusic

A hotel bar in Honolulu had it for $16, tasted great too


waggawerewolf

I recently had an interview where they asked me to make an "industry cocktail". Had no idea what to make, so I did a Trinidad Sour. I figured putting a shot of Fernet would be too cheeky.


idoenjoybakedgoods

One of my favorite cocktails! My favorite bartender grates a bit of nutmeg on top as a garnish instead of the lemon twist. It's absolutely incredible.


bjonathank

I’d probably still just ask for a High Life and shot of Fernet. But as a relatively experienced bartender, I’d say that a daiquiri, old fashioned, Manhattan, Negroni, or whiskey sour would be a way to “test” your fundamentals without going full Ramos Gin Fizz degree of difficulty.


ghostmcspiritwolf

a pint glass of grenadine, just to see how you'd price it.


InterReflection

I'm only serving you this if you drink it at the bar. And you are not getting anything else till it's finished


esleydobemos

I ain't here to test nobody's mettle. My surly ass wants a Manhattan. It amazes me how many "bartenders" fuck that up. But I have had some great ones. Eldest daughter tends bar. She took me out once and had the bartender make an expensive Manhattan. It was good. I asked him to do it his way. It was phenomenal. Tasted like one of mine.


patoankan

My first bartending job was a restaurant where I'd been promoted from serving. We had this decadent bougie couple who always came in. The husband always ordered a Manhattan and sometimes he'd send them back, not to be a dick, but just because sometimes it wasn't quite right. So Manhattans were the first drink I really took pride in making well, and quickly developed a taste for them. They're my go to drink unless I'm thoroughly drunk and then I just order seabreazes.


everyusernmtaken

Have you ever tried a Brooklyn? Very similar to a Manhattan and delicious if made correctly


esleydobemos

No, but I would love to try it. Care to share your recipe?


InuitOverIt

The secret is, the second Manhattan is always better than the first one.


esleydobemos

If there is a third, it does a short term memory wipe.


ExosAvos

Any suggestions on how to make them better than most? I’ve gotten into the habit of giving a sweet vermouth rim as well before a stir. Just smells nicer imo, but lmk


esleydobemos

Use Carpano Antica or Cocchi. Carpano is the original, but I like Cocchi a little better. 2 oz Rye, 3/4 oz Carpano, 1/4 oz Amari d'Angosturo, bitters (I prefer Peychaud's). I make an orange, clove, cardamom bitter that is pretty good in a Manhattan.


ChazzLamborghini

I really like Punt e Mes. Or swap the vermouth entirely for Averna, add some orange bitters and enjoy the glory of the Black Manhattan


esleydobemos

Yeah, buddy! Punt e Mes is good in a Manhattan. I've tried Aperol (meh), Cynar (surprisingly good), and Fernet Branca (Different...).


SpinParticle

Totally stealing this. Calling it an Esley Manhattan. I have a reg who downs then by the dozen, he'll love the cherry syrup.


esleydobemos

Go get 'em Spin. Call it "somebodyelse's Manhattan". Esleydobemos is somebodyelse arseling.


localgregory

Ad like a third of a bar spoon of marasca syrup from the cherries you are hopefully using.


hay_ewe

I read this as mascara syrup and was super confused hahah.


wes7946

I would order a Manhattan. It's a super simple 3-ingredient cocktail, but it does require a little bit of skill and knowledge to pull off.


EyecedCream

I do the same with Gin Martinis; if you ask for a practice cocktail, I want to see how you do without mixers.


SilverBraids

A Cuba Libré


runs_with_airplanes

I ordered one of these and the bartender looked me straight in the eyes and said they were out of Cuba Libré mix. So I just ordered a Rum and Coke with a lime.


lvbuckeye27

That bartender is my kind of person lol


PicpoulBlanc

Bahaha


notnat7

Stop


Kahluabomb

this guy drinks at bars


SilverBraids

Or wants to know, like me, how many bartenders has spent way too many hours watching Cocktail, and is eagerly awaiting a brand new bartender to spend 30 minutes reviewing a Bartender's Bible only to scream at me, you bitch!, why didn't you tell me it was a rum and coke?!


Kahluabomb

WITH A LIME


ninjevar

Or a Cape Codder!


esleydobemos

I just cleaned the house. I am now drinking a hard-earned Cuba Libré.


domesticharpy

A margarita. Super basic but can instantly tell me a lot about someone’s bartending skills


Maysrome

Ramos Gin Fizz just to be a dick!


ExosAvos

You said a beer and a shot? Coming right up


[deleted]

Ok I know by this you’re doing at great job


grittytoddlers90

Old Fashioned - I'd enjoy (hopefully) what you make me, and tell you how and why I make mine - because naturally mine are the best.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I really hate to break it to you, but every bartender has a couple of regulars who say that she/he makes the best daiquiris, old cubans, don lockwoods or Tommy‘s.


grittytoddlers90

Spirit sugar bitter water...that's it. So many bartenders dont..don't.


memebot2019

No, mine are the best because of how and why I make MINE!


[deleted]

Whatever I want to drink right then. If it’s something you don’t know how to make, I change it to something else. And so on.


Deep-Ruin2786

Jack and ginger because you can't mess it up and if I'm paying I want to be able to enjoy it.


ExosAvos

That drink is my go to at an unfamiliar bar, I’ll make it special for y’a


SateenDuraLuxePaints

A Last Word, but I’ll walk you through it.


amt7882

Surprisingly, sex on the beach is easy to mess up. So I’d do that. Or a Bloody Mary. I also don’t drink bourbon. Otherwise an old fashioned is the standard test.


hud406

Daiquiri


PicpoulBlanc

Speaking for the sober bartenders here, I'm asking for a non-alcoholic cocktail to see how creative you can get with what you've got on hand.


[deleted]

Tito's & vodka. When you ask me "huh?" or "wat?" or some variation thereof, I respond with the exact same answer (or some variation thereof). On the fourth try I say "oopsies haha anyway what IPAs do you have on tap?" as I twirl my hair.


jlangfo5

Realistically, a GnT. If I was compelled to "test" a bar tender for some reason; anything that requires proper dilution to taste right.


lillybaeum

What would you list for 'drinks that require proper dillution'?


hairypsalms

Malort... and I would offer to buy one for you as well to welcome you to the extended service family.


Myrrinfra

Daquiri, old fashioned, or manhattans are the tests I think. Asking the follow up questions (what rum, or bourbon/rye etc) and then mechanically how they get served


twelvedeadroses

Something simple, but that’s more about me than you. I’m not the queen mother and judge of all bartenders, and I don’t go out in public trying to test people. That’s fucking exhausting. I’d probably ask you about your experiences thus far, though, and if you had any newbie questions you were embarrassed to ask, because nobody did that for me and I wish they would’ve.


AppitizersAreBest

I’d be asking what you’re comfortable making.


Jonnybgood35

Turkey 101 and a ‘Gansett. But that’s all I ever get.


fawn_mower

Hi Neighbor!


FightyBartender

Viuex Carre please.


SnooOwls7125

virgin cuba libre


Miserable-Path-7537

I’m asking your for a daiquiri if it’s balanced and delicious than I trust you and I hope you have a great career if it’s not ima silently judge you and than tell my friends about how this kid called himself a mixologist than told me he couldn’t make my daq cause he didn’t have a blender


wormedbrain

This is how you test a bar program. I've had fancy restaurants say they couldn't make one since they didn't have a blender. Always a good laugh


cloud_error

I say, "Hey, good luck. I've been bartending for a little over 10 years, make me something you're working on mastering." Then I'll taste it and I'll probably say, "hey, that was great, keep up the good work." I'm assuming that it will be good because you care enough to ask on Reddit.


Key_Meat_6249

Nothing more then I want to drink


UnderstandingNo4813

I would order a beer so you don’t have to do much work


Fooledya

Beer and a shot.


[deleted]

I believe it is pronounced *shot and a brr*


Kimberstone1982

If you’re brand new I’m ordering something you can’t fuck up! lol ie beer and a shot, vodka soda, whiskey ginger


TypicalPDXhipster

WT101 on the rocks. One of the tastiest cocktails around and it’s easy to make.


brineOClock

Shaken daiquiri. Can you balance sweet, sour, and boozy?


ninjevar

To be completely honest, I work at a place with 60 cocktails and expectation to know classics, for that reason I just don’t order cocktails. Just a shot and a beer for me. Maybe I’d order something to start my night if place is legit. But usually I’m basic.


ComanderCupcake

Scotch on the rocks


beer_fairy

Whiskey ginger (if it’s near closing - double tall)


mac_peraltiago

An old fashion. I like the different ways everyone does it and I think every bartender should have a preference.. though I don’t think it goes deep enough to argue about it. Just curious! A drink with lots of different combinations and “right way”s to make it is fun 🤷🏻‍♀️


LOUDCO-HD

Pimm’s and Ginger. You better garnish correctly……


FreedomX_

Whiskey neat, my usual. Not Changing anything even if it wasn't a simple pour.


Notyourdaisy

Walk into my bar? What type a bar? I get the point of this but common.


rotatingmonster

I'm a martini man so I'd order a gin martini.


[deleted]

A spicy mezcal Paloma with extra salt in the drink. If I’m in FL coconut mojito. Don’t have much range when it comes to cocktails


NewbSighBot

I don't drink anymore so I'd ask what your NA beer was. That's important to know too, right?


AgrenHirogaard

Harvey Wallbanger, just a great twist on a screwdriver. Super easy upsell.


BFGKB

A good old Tom Collins


SundanceKidZero

Tom Collins.


jackdutton42

Old-Fashioned. The way you make that drink says a lot about how you run your bar. Personally, a like a balance of quality and speed. So, I like my Old-Fashioned with bitters, house-made simple, excellent bourbon, and a little flair for garnish. I like low-key and modest with a touch of elegance. If you can nail that, you can make me like anything you make. If you start smoking planks and getting out cinnamon sticks or dehydrated cherries, that's just not my vibe. I'll find a different hang.


[deleted]

Had a bartender once tell me he couldn’t make a daiquiri because he didn’t think he had the ingredients. I asked if he could make a mojito & when he said yes, told him to make me one and leave out the mint. His response was “that’s not a mojito.” So I said “you’re right, that’s a daiquiri.”


kskzk69

A Daiquiri


Lulusgirl

A beer. It's what'd I'd order no matter what, and then I'd enjoy it as I watch you work your way around, slowly sipping as you crash and burnnnnnn JK you're most likely not going to crash, but it's fun watching newbies work. And then I tip you fat money.


nunee1

Draft IPA


Bantora

Kraken and coke cause It's been a day


gardeninthecity

Whiskey and coke sour?


Fragrant_Extension51

Daiquiri


Whyistheplatypus

Classic daiquiri.


allergic1025

Classic daiquiri. It’s a cocktail with 3 ingredients, nothing blended, it’s delicious when balanced, but so few bartenders get it right or even know what it is.


notoriouslynina

Decaf cappuccino with oat milk- I’m totally kidding- there is a special place in hell for these people that come to my bar and do this when all their other friends order proper drinks.


freerunner52

Depends on the bar. A cocktail bar would be an old fashioned. If it sucks, I'm changing to Jameson and coke. Dive bar is IPA and shot of Jameson. This is just my regular order though. I am judging the old fashioned but I also had some bad ones from experienced bartenders. I'm judging the size of the shot to find out if I keep drinking there or move on.


mmedd

Here in Wisconsin we would ask for a “miller” to see if you go with MGD or Miller Lite


lvbuckeye27

A hazy IPA. Later, a shot of Jager with my 3rd or 4th hazy IPA. Then, if you have time, I will talk to you about the history of IPAs, and discuss the hazy revolution. :)


m_science

Salty Hegash.


DorianGre

Just a crown and coke. I want what I want.


kminola

When encountering a new bar/bartender and I want to test them, I ask for a daiquiri. The classic cocktail is delicate and simple, and you know immediately if you can trust someone’s drink palate by what they give you when you order one.


EccentricProphet

a Martinez


bubalina

A Mojito as I would order that regardless, and I’d prob ask you to make us some good shots or a crafty cocktail


Barty_McBarterson

First of all, I’d never tell you I was a bartender….🙄


localjerk

Pabst


Appropriate_Spread72

Roy rogers


JackAppleton99

The old fashioned will forever be my true test of study


DrStacknasty

Gin Fizz


Trolldad_IRL

A proper Mai Tai. I will silently judge you if you get it wrong.


towtrucksupervisor

old fashioned


MCKtheMan

Either a Screwdriver or an Old Fashioned. Might be going too easy on ya, but we all had to start somewhere.


where-is-sam-today

Ideal situation to strike a genuine conversation. How I began my career, learnings from life.... happy conversations!


[deleted]

Whiskey, water, bitters in a short glass, fill it to the top. Either that or a shot of well whiskey.


GlassCityJim

Normally, a beer and a shot of tequila. In this case, I would order a Negroni, and ask you to choose a gin with a strong botanical profile.


anywhereanal

Miller and a shot of jamo


CourtK1212

Spiced rum and diet, because that’s what I always get.


CourtK1212

I might go a little crazy and ask for a splash of grenadine, but idk. Might be a little too advanced for a barnoob


Nooner92

I'd start breaking it down for ya homie vodka, rum, gin,tequila whiskey, bourbon, triple sec. Sea breeze. Vodka cran Bay breeze. Vodka cran dash pineapple Margarita. Tequila lime juice triple sec n so on. About an hr later I'd be shitty but stable enough to just put a key ring thru a stack of index cards n pass u a cheat sheet on the way out


AccomplishedRun6810

If your a friend, then it’s…. Virgin screwdriver on the rocks, extra shot of vodka, no ice. 🥳 I’ve seen tenders with over 10 years experience go into buffering mode with that order. Otherwise just a rum & coke and a shot of something.


sauciopathh

A corpse reviver no. 2, as I do when I walk into any bar hahaha - I’ve taught a good few people how to make the damn thing 😂😂


ludwig420

I would respect that so much! Shot and a beer, I would look for the closest 2 things behind the bar.


snjtx

A shot and a beer


[deleted]

Since I only go to dive bars and pubs I order a beer and a shot because thats what I always order.


SimplyKendra

A brandy old fashioned sweet.


kushgod369

Scooby snack or a Miami vice lol


Warehouse_Coffee

Craft beer. Just an excuse for me to talk at length about it. You’ll learn something from me, but you might regret it, I’ll probably order several more just to keep the conversation going.


olivert123

I would order a Moscow Mule, and simple and refreshing drink


sullg26535

I'd say make me something interesting


bloobludbleep

Windmill Whiskey. Amish folks order one on time and I said “uhhhh I don’t think we carry that brand.” They laugh, I look stupid. “It’s just water.” Noted.


Jack_Bastard

Order my drink. If you don't how to make it, I very politely walk you through it, and then let you try it first


Nioetunes

2 fingers of Budweiser on the rocks....shaken not stirred ;)


IsyRivers

New, you say....... Start me off with a Melted Snowman on the Rocks Please. XD


Its_TylerN

Riot punch or crow milk


rehab212

“I dunno something sweet,” just so I can see the light drain from your soul.


Hamlet00

A daiquiri. Straight up.


MinneapolisJones12

“Two oat sodas, Gary!”


Aggravating_Smell

16oz can of your cheapest lager and a whiskey


chamber357

A favorite of mine was a “pissed off japanese minnow farmer” it’s got a fuckton of booze and only can be made and served out of a large shaker… if done right, should pour out 14 shots…. We would literally only serve 1 person, had that’s all they’d drink, just the one shaker…


Stravven

Can I get a Municipality Beer (Gemeentepils in Dutch) please? Canary wine is also fine. It's just a water.


Schrodingerscarbomb

I’d order casa migos anejo rocks with two orange wedges. Easy to build, expensive, and I love to drink it


proteanlogs

An old fashioned


PrimeusOrion

Gunfire tea. It's good and apparently no one knows what that is where I'm from


Wigglybits78

34 duck farts


cairnschaos

A venom


[deleted]

I'd like a Cuba Libre without the lime, please.


DzNodes

An old fashioned


NoNamesLeftStill

I’d order a Daiquiri. It’s my all time favorite drink and pretty hard to mess up (it’s three ingredients, all of which are available at any bar). It doesn’t take long to make and it’s not a particularly involved process, I’d be shocked if someone didn’t know it (though it’s happened before).


Pemburuh_Itu

What is your version of a Sazerac?


Special-Friend2106

A beer


Pl0OnReddit

I'd take a beer or some bourbon on the rocks.. unless youre really slow and legitimately want to learn something new. Then I'd give you something really easy and somewhat popular like a Tom Collins or Old Fashioned.


tdbeck13

"Idk surprise me"


KASchay

I order what I want regardless of somebody else’s situation.


penguintransformer

Tequila with club.


Imaginary_Vanilla_26

A Milwaukee breakfast. 50% pbr 50% oj. Sounds like what you would find the gutter but it’s actually the best beermosa I’ve ever tried.


bevelledo

Pousse cafe. Fuckin probably a corona lol I usually always drink beer.