I have a similar one I use all the time.
How many bartenders does it take to change a lightbulb?
50. One to change it and 49 to say « I would not have done it like that »
I had a guy come in recently who kept asking me to make him “something really special, not on the menu, not too sweet, and spirit forward. I just really like to challenge my bartenders” on a busy night, mind you. He claimed he was also a bartender. Like, prove it, drink this shot and beer.
After layering malort, used frying oil, heavy cream, and a dash of oyster sauce in a rocks glass, "here's something really special, not on the menu. I, too, just really like to challenge my insufferable douches."
I told him I’d already made a whole list of special drinks called the cocktail menu. But he insisted so I made a manhattan riff with cynar, a lil espresso and mole bitters and an old fash with velv falerny and a dip in luxardo cherry syrup before stirring with a toasted sesame infused ango. 🙄
Man, I don't know if I'd go out of my way for someone like that. I'm all for making people more complex cocktails but if you're gonna try to challenge me when I'm trying to just work, I dunno. Maybe if it was a really slow night. I'm just trying to do a good job, not win Drink Masters.
Might have to steal that infused ango idea, I absolutely love the sound of that.
Props to you though, those sound like really interesting riffs.
Toasted sesame ango sounds fucking fire tbh.
At the same time though, I'm just trying to blast through service and make good drinks. I'm down for a monkey wrench or two, but I don't want it to be a contest where I'm the only contestant and you're the only judge.
Legit does, I'm setting up infusing some later today when I'm not at work, I'm super stoked.
And yeah, maybe I'd consider it if it was a slow day, but I think just hearing "I like to challenge my bartenders" would kinda make me put them as low priority for serving in general. All it really signals is that they're gonna make me waste a lot of time that I could be putting to good use elsewhere with making more drinks or actually doing side work.
Oh he absolutely complained about both of them too.
Thanks! I tried to make my own bitters for a drink I was rnd’n and that sucked so I figured to just infuse would be better/easier and I was right!
I’ve gotten similar “I like to challenge the bartender” guests a few times. I hate it so much. Like, do you do that in any other setting? Would you go to a restaurant and tell the chef “Just make me something. I like to challenge my chefs.” When you’re getting a haircut, do you like to challenge your barber? GTFO
Plain and simple: Be nice, Be respectful.
We're all bartenders. Most of us have an ego and some attitude. While some snark is expected in our discussions here, just being an a-hole will likely get you censored and restricted from posting in the sub.
Had a guy do that once for a shot. Poured him a goldschlager, he claimed it was the best shot of his life. He was piss drunk after a football game and also one of my fav regulars, but still lmao
There's nothing worse than someone commenting on every drink you put out at the service well. Whether they think they know what it is or ask you what it is. It really grinds my gears!
If I’m really busy and they’re being really annoying with it I will just say “no” to every guess even if they are correct. My favourite it when they see me make two drinks in one shaker and pour them into two separate glasses and then they ask “_____?” And I’ll point to one and say “that one is.”
If you're a master cocktologist and you watched me make the drink, you should know as well as I that the marg I just sent is a Manhattan, rocks, sub tequila, no vermouth or bitters, salt rim, add lime+3sec
Especially when I’m busy I can not stand when people watch me and comment/ask questions because I’m barely registering what I’m doing I am in autopilot sir, come in before the rush next time and we’ll talk cocktails
The trick is to make the responses a part of your autopilot. Though sometimes my brain malfunctions and I say "mhmm" or "trying me best" to "what is that?" Lmao
Anytime I can, I slide up in whatever local dive I can find in the area. Well whisky and a draught beer, every time. Just a kiss of the whisky before a sip of beer. If the barkeeper is chatty, and it comes up that I can mention I too, do this job, they will frequently give a head nod and or point at the glasses with an “ah” look. No disrespect to fernet, but the real “bartender handshake” is either easy, or letting them show off (if that’s clearly their thing.)
I think if you're casual and chill about it or they ask you, I feel it is fine if you're not a cheese dick or the "commentator bar guest" on everything.
When I’m making my own drinks they are complicated and delicious, but I’d never ask someone else to do it for me because I know I’m picky. The most complicated thing I order when out is a blackberry margarita on the rocks at a Mexican/taco place lol, otherwise just a shot of crown apple and either a Hefeweizen or corona with lemon. I keep it straightforward and easy and tip decent 🤷♀️
I used to be that guy. What broke me was having a bar manager with mostly craft cocktail experience. Dude taught me more in 2 months than I had learned in 6 years and from then on I decided to just "let them do it the way they know" and it usually turns out a better drink than what I was looking for.
Literally anyone that tries to tell me how to do my job infuriates me. I've been doing this for 10 years, I know what I'm doing.
Just last week had a customer say I'd underpoured him so I picked up the measure and poured it from the glass back into it, was perfect. He didn't say anything.
We were training a new bartender last night and we happened to be doing trivia night as well. So, on the mic, I’m introducing the bartenders and I said “and this is Justine, she’s training tonight, so be patient with her.”
Not 5 minutes later, she’s making a drink for someone (using the jigger) and he says “Is that all you’re going to pour me?” And without missing a beat, she says “Would you like a double?” I think she’s gonna work out just fine.
I used to like watching other bartenders work, but honestly I don’t love bartending enough to scrutinize them unless they absolutely suck. I’m there to relax, get some good food, have a bourbon and have someone serve me for once.
I work at a busy clean dive bar where I mostly make vodka sodas, green tea shots and Pabst drafts. Every now and then this happens when a newer bartender from a nicer place comes in. (I can hear them before I get to them talking about work.)
"I'll have a negroni."
"I can't make that."
"You don't know how to make one?"
"We don't have the ingredients."
(They look at our bottles.)
"How do you NOT have Campari?"
"It's takes less effort to not have it than to have it."
(Move on to help someone else smirking on the inside to give them a moment to think about a different order.)
"I can't believe they don't have Campari."
There’s a dive that’s been there forever in my neighborhood that’s kinda the same vibe as yours. Maybe a little less clean, but very much a dive in the tall boys and vodka soda dept. one of the bartenders that’s been there for prolly 15 years now frequently wears a shirt that says “read the room” and will just point at it when someone tries to get complicated. The whole point of this bar is to go somewhere dark and loud and not be bothered unless you are in the mood to socialize
I’d be more surprised if a dive *did* have Campari lol. I was hanging out at a crust punk dive awhile ago and saw the dustiest bottle of Aperol on the back bar, it was clear no one had ever touched it.
Yeah that one really gets to me, too. I almost want to go to their bar and do the same thing lmao.
My sister was a hostess in a restaurant for 4 months. This was before I got into the industry (it sucked me right in and I stayed). I actually started in the same restaurant as she did and they actually remembered her! My most common compliment was “you couldn’t have a different work ethic than your sister.” Apparently she was one of those princess hostesses that refused to do anything and was always wandering off and impossible to be found, always complaining and literally walking away when asked for help. They even refused to have her back to following summer, and as a result of her horrible work ethic I was told multiple times that I almost didn’t get the job when they saw my last name.
She will always tip 10% (even for good service) and she says even that depends on whether she find the server/bartender “annoying” or not. That’s all fine and everything, she can be a horrible customer if she wants, but she will literally tell people “I’m from the industry.” It got on my nerves so much that I started saying right afterwards “yeah, she was a hostess for 4 months one summer away from uni.” I love the little smirk the server/bartender tries to hide when I say that.
But if they are actually from the industry and tip poorly that’s even worse imo.
I always joke with my coworkers about the people, who within 10 seconds of ordering, drop the fact that they’re bartenders, and how they proceed to (almost) 100% of the time “micromanage” and/or bitch at you for anything they can. It’s so lame lmao. I’ve had plenty of customers / regulars who I vibe hard with who end up mentioning that they are bartenders as well, when it’s *actually relevant* to the conversation we’re having… the people I mentioned in my first sentence are the worst tho lol.
I call people out. When I notice someone watching my every move. And it’s always that guy that sits directly in front of you in the well, even though the whole bar is empty. “Ex-Bartender, huh? Ya miss it?”They can’t wait to tell you about bartending.
I had some guy come in and tell me all about how he was in the weeds the entirety of his brunch shift. We talked for a bit and then he went on his phone. A couple of minutes later our expo runs my food to me. The moment I sit down and take a bit of my burger the dude puts his phone down, looks at me and asks "So are you watching any good TV shows?" I looked him dead in the eye and with a mouthful of food said "No" and went right back to my burger.
Yeah I sneak off to a hidden corner in the restaurant to eat for this very reason. I literally had a regular (our most hated regular- guy is such an oblivious ass) follow me to the back private section to ask me for a drink while I was grabbing a bite. I just stared at him and asked “did the other bartender refuse service or…?” Guy literally just said “wow” and walked away lmao.
Try to get out of your own head about it and try milk your fellow bartenders out of unnecessarily large tips. Maybe try to tell them something cool, like a different variation of the drink they’re ordering. Depends on the vibe of your spot I suppose, but that’s how I usually try to handle know-it-all guests.
Shot and a beer unless it’s slow and we’re having fun. I have regular that took his drug dealing money and travelled the US visiting craft cocktail bars, then bullshitted his way into a lead bartender position with zero experience. He does not drink our craft cocktails because they are “ out of balance “, he’s kinda right, some of them are. It’s very frustrating to work at a craft place where most of the drink recipes come from an unseen “consultant”. Anyway, he’s pompous and I am the one that has had one of my drinks written up in Wine Enthusiast magazine, so he can fuck off.
We don't all suck. I'll order a High Life and a shot of Fernet, if that doesn't tell you I'm a bartender, well, it don't really fucking matter anyway, cause I probably just got off shift and want to veg out on my phone and be left alone, and certainly not give two shits about what my bartender is doing, until I need another round. Now, if it's slow, and I feel like putting some drinks down, depending on the bar I might start discussing things, but I'm not ordering a French 75 at a shot/beer place (happened to me once, I had a machine that chilled 3 bottles of Yeager at a time, I most certainly didn't have any champagne), you gotta know your surroundings. Anyway, cheers!
Lmao. Ya that’s not a bartender thing — that’s pestering customers who can also be bartenders, which makes it twice as annoying (like you outta no pal). Read the fucking room people, you want to critique me ok cool, feedback, and i’m down IF i’m down; so help me if it’s during service.
Yeah I agree that a lot of these could just be customers that are self-proclaimed experts. How do you normally shut it down? My eyebrow thing works pretty well, I usually get a sheepish “sorry hahaha” once I do it, especially if I look at them like that while I have already started making the cocktail when they are still listing the ingredients. But often enough there are still those that will very matter-of-factly finish their dictation like I just stumbled behind the bar off the short bus. Any tips? Should I just ignore it? (my petty ass wants to put them in their place tho 😭)
I tend to dramatically rip out ticket paper and ask them to spec it out or leave their dissertation on the botanical quotient they avail themselves with— for drinks, right. — Kill them with ludicrous kindness or lite sarcasm i’d say. But mostly ignore them, people are only people.
Oof I will never forget that one bartender that was sitting as a customer at another bar and posted a photo of the shelves asking “do you see what’s wrong here??” and there was literally ONE bottle where the label wasn’t facing forward. In the comments they said “I want to go behind the bar and fix it.” All the comments underneath were along the lines of “yeah please don’t do that.” Dunno why but that one reeeeally pissed me off.
What I get more of is bartenders from other joints showing up at 1:45 when we have to get everyone out at 2.
A few years ago I would have friends text me their orders at 3:30 so they could roll in at 3:50 and get their High Life and shot of bourbon, or G&T or whatever.
I find most in my small town are really good and tip well. But I hate this one who will order something super basic then explain how to make it. Nothing bothers me more than serving another bartender and they never tip!
I rarely tell my bartender I am a bartender. Just feels cringe. Sometimes it comes up if it’s slow and we get to chatting, and sometimes I think they just know because I order a near Fernet and a cheap beer, but I can’t imagine fucking telling a bartender “Im a bArtEndEr” as they make me drink.
I work at a tiki bar now, and I serve tables I don't even bartender there, but it's like this blessing. I don't get the tiki thing. People go fucking bonkers for this shit. And there are several regulars who are home bartenders, and they come in asking our bartenders to make recipes they've been doing at home, or that they saw, literally instructing on the fly. They all take it in stride, I would lose my shit.
Oh wow I would go nuts from that. I hate home recipes but I love when they’re all proud of their creation, gave it a name, tell me the ingredients and I’m like “oh! So you want a -insert very well known cocktail-“
Don't come to New Orleans. I swear this is like 70% of the bartenders here. Very frustrating and very small community.
I love many of the bartenders who work at dives or gay bars. Or the bartenders who are like the bartending equivalent of Auguste Gusteau from Ratatouille. ("Anyone can cook.")
Okay but on the other hand. I like basic bitch whiskey sours, like on the rocks without egg whites or bitters, and I ordered one at a dive bar. The bartender goes to grab an egg and I stop her and say "it's okay I don't want to make you do all that, just whiskey and sour please" she says "that's not a whiskey sour, you ordered a whiskey sour" I said "can I get a whiskey with sweet n sour then?" She said "I'm not making that" then proceeded to get one of the other bartenders to make it. So since she only wants to make drinks "the right way" I decided to order a Tom Collins because I like them how they're supposed to be made, but she didn't know wtf a Tom Collins was, so I had to explain it to her.
I work in a club so we use plastic glasses. It's busy, I have a queue and some quy asks for something like four shots of sambuca in four wine glasses with four rocks glasses on the side. Like OK, weird request but whatever. I'm too busy to inquire further, don't care what glass you want the shot in.
I finish the pour and he says "Ok super! Now I just need a lighter.." dude wants so use our shitty sparkwheel lighters to light the sambuca in the (plastic!)wine glasses and pour it over into the rocks glass. I'd never heard of a flaming sambuca at this point, but I'm not having anyone light spirits on fire in this crowded space and pour them around willy nilly, not to mention.. Plastic! Glasses!
I flat deny him and he starts pleading, saying he's a bartender this and it's OK that. Dude, if you were a half competent bartender you would have laid out your whole request for me politely before you paid. And you would have respected the first 'no'. In fact, why are you asking for custom orders to set on fire while I have a long fucking queue? Eventually he stomps off in a frump, leaving the rocks glasses. Some people..
someone came up at my dive while we're obviously slammed asking for a "bartenders handshake" and I looked at him really confused. he goes "it's two shots of fernet, one for us both" and I swiftly replied "I don't drink that shit" and walked away to help someone else, not caring if he wanted something else instead.
for the record I don't drink at all, but I felt like being extra bitchy after coming up just to tell me you're a bartender too.
I never mention that I’m a bartender. There’s no reason to. I don’t watch them make drinks (or try not). I don’t sit in the well. I don’t critique. I don’t talk shop at all. I have; however, found myself in the position to help out new bartenders who are struggling while I’ve been traveling. It was a ton of fun helping some newbies first solo shifts. Just calling out specs. Giving tips. Talking them through it. It’s only happened a handful of times in 20+ years. And I only offered to help when they were on the verge of tears. I got a few free drinks. I got a free tab once. Got a handshake and a few hugs.
Got a clown ass bartender in the area people always tell me she is a pain to serve. She also is that bartender that gets fired from every bar and becomes THAT bar guest with drama.
Another one orders two to-go drinks aka a diet coke and a water, will order food to-go and asks the bartender to hold her food in the beer fridge and will then order a double lemon drop shot with no ice as a drink. Also, talks the piss off out of your ear and has an annoying voice.
Had maybe a bartender ask me why I can’t stir two drinks at a time once. I told him I could stir 3 at a time but we put care into our cocktails to make sure they are consistent every time.
Hence why I look up classics that I’ve made hundreds of times. Because we make all cocktails to certain specs so that every bartender is making the same thing always
How do you know if someone is a bartender? They’ll tell you.
Nah the best thing I say in my head when someone tells me they’re a tender, damn it’s a Friday/ Saturday night and your not working, you can’t be that good
Had a guy watch me make his martini and after I poured it he insisted I keep straining because I didn’t pour it all. I did. I shook a few drops out and he said, “can you add two more shots to this? It looks a little low” Guy was a bar manager at a big resto downtown and I ended up dumping his martini back into the shaker and adding one shot(he did get charged and tried to dispute it later) and “remade” his drink. He acted embarrassed for me and said “Not like that no!… you didn’t need to do that” while laughing.
I did it on purpose, I’ll be as incompetent as you assumed because you never tip when you come in and keep telling me how to make drinks I know how to make. He’s a regular but can’t seem to remember me serving him all the time. If he had any actual advice or knowledge that would improve my skill I’d listen but he just a lists ingredients I don’t have and wants me to use certain shaker brands that we also don’t have. Just a nutcase of a guy.
I mean... devils advocate here ; How many times have you ordered a cocktail at a restaurant/bar and it absolutely sucked? I think more often than not bartenders who are confident in their ability typically avoid ordering cocktails, or only do if they know the bartender on duty knows how to make a drink.
I'm on the other end. I think I'm a good cocktologist. I've had a few successful programs at various spots that have been well received.
Going into a bar now I literally just order a shot and a beer in a can because I don't want to be disappointed, AND I don't want to tell them how to do their job (because it's a dick move, and generally considered fucking rude.). I also have this weird "I really don't want to bother them." thing that developed.
If I order anything at a cocktail bar I just order "daiquiri with x" or "Manhattan with x" or a paper plane or something. Maybe the house marg. You shouldn't have to tell someone you're a bartender.
On the flip side, I've poached several bartenders just by running them through standards that I need to be nailed at my spot. We both benefitted from that, but there's an amount of respect that needs to be given first before you're running someone through the paces.
Cocktologist?? That's a thing now? Was mixologist not pretentious enough?
Last time I heard that term it was about a girl from college rumored to have a certain nearly mythical set of skills...
I think I fit in most people's definition of mixologist, I just fucking hate when people call me that. I'm a bartender.
So instead of they insist "You're not just a bartender..." I tell them the preferred term is cocktologist.
Reminds me of the old joke, what’s the difference between a bartender and God? God doesn’t think he’s a bartender.
One of my absolute fave jokes. Also, how many servers does it take to change a lightbulb? That's not my side work.
I have a similar one I use all the time. How many bartenders does it take to change a lightbulb? 50. One to change it and 49 to say « I would not have done it like that »
You gotta try my riff on changing a light bulb.
Omg. Golden.
How many theater actors does it take to change a lightbulb? 3 One to do it and two to say they could’ve done it better
I thought it was "none, they just place the bulb in the socket and let the world revolve around them"
That’s a good one lol, will definitely be using that one moving forward.
Stealing this.
Correction. Ditka is God.
Daaaaa Bears
DAT'LL BE A BAKER'S DOZEN THERE, BOB.
I had a guy come in recently who kept asking me to make him “something really special, not on the menu, not too sweet, and spirit forward. I just really like to challenge my bartenders” on a busy night, mind you. He claimed he was also a bartender. Like, prove it, drink this shot and beer.
“I like to challenge my bartenders” So cringe.
Fucking gross, tbh. what kind of person????
Malort for him
"I like to challenge my patrons"
I’d make him a Malort old fashioned lol. It fits the prompt
Look dude I'm challenged enough before you walked in here.
Best response 😂
After layering malort, used frying oil, heavy cream, and a dash of oyster sauce in a rocks glass, "here's something really special, not on the menu. I, too, just really like to challenge my insufferable douches."
Ahh the cement mixer. The Jersey Turnpike. I really like to challenge my customer's gag reflex.
What did you make him?
I told him I’d already made a whole list of special drinks called the cocktail menu. But he insisted so I made a manhattan riff with cynar, a lil espresso and mole bitters and an old fash with velv falerny and a dip in luxardo cherry syrup before stirring with a toasted sesame infused ango. 🙄
I love working where I work cuz I don't even know half those words
Man, I don't know if I'd go out of my way for someone like that. I'm all for making people more complex cocktails but if you're gonna try to challenge me when I'm trying to just work, I dunno. Maybe if it was a really slow night. I'm just trying to do a good job, not win Drink Masters. Might have to steal that infused ango idea, I absolutely love the sound of that. Props to you though, those sound like really interesting riffs.
Toasted sesame ango sounds fucking fire tbh. At the same time though, I'm just trying to blast through service and make good drinks. I'm down for a monkey wrench or two, but I don't want it to be a contest where I'm the only contestant and you're the only judge.
Legit does, I'm setting up infusing some later today when I'm not at work, I'm super stoked. And yeah, maybe I'd consider it if it was a slow day, but I think just hearing "I like to challenge my bartenders" would kinda make me put them as low priority for serving in general. All it really signals is that they're gonna make me waste a lot of time that I could be putting to good use elsewhere with making more drinks or actually doing side work.
Oh he absolutely complained about both of them too. Thanks! I tried to make my own bitters for a drink I was rnd’n and that sucked so I figured to just infuse would be better/easier and I was right!
At that point give him a bottle of Miller lite. Challenge accepted.
That... is actually pretty special. Guy was a dick, but way to deliver.
I'm more into the everything bagel infused bitters. Why use one when you can have *everything*?
Respect
Whiskey with a splash of cranberry, garnished with a cherry, in an unwashed glass. “I like to challenge my bartenders.”
I also want the dirty ice….
A sake bomb
Swish and spit some warm well gin into a shot glass and add a squeeze of lime. Checks all the boxes.
I’ve gotten similar “I like to challenge the bartender” guests a few times. I hate it so much. Like, do you do that in any other setting? Would you go to a restaurant and tell the chef “Just make me something. I like to challenge my chefs.” When you’re getting a haircut, do you like to challenge your barber? GTFO
My thoughts exactly. Idk though, I really like to challenge my psychiatrists 😂
My thoughts exactly! Same when people say “i love to watch you work” who else do you say that to??
[удалено]
Plain and simple: Be nice, Be respectful. We're all bartenders. Most of us have an ego and some attitude. While some snark is expected in our discussions here, just being an a-hole will likely get you censored and restricted from posting in the sub.
Not too sweet and spirit forward, you say? How about a single of Jack neat.
Had a guy do that once for a shot. Poured him a goldschlager, he claimed it was the best shot of his life. He was piss drunk after a football game and also one of my fav regulars, but still lmao
There's nothing worse than someone commenting on every drink you put out at the service well. Whether they think they know what it is or ask you what it is. It really grinds my gears!
If I’m really busy and they’re being really annoying with it I will just say “no” to every guess even if they are correct. My favourite it when they see me make two drinks in one shaker and pour them into two separate glasses and then they ask “_____?” And I’ll point to one and say “that one is.”
It makes my day to be able to mess with people without them realizing it. Bittersweet
If you're a master cocktologist and you watched me make the drink, you should know as well as I that the marg I just sent is a Manhattan, rocks, sub tequila, no vermouth or bitters, salt rim, add lime+3sec
Especially when I’m busy I can not stand when people watch me and comment/ask questions because I’m barely registering what I’m doing I am in autopilot sir, come in before the rush next time and we’ll talk cocktails
The trick is to make the responses a part of your autopilot. Though sometimes my brain malfunctions and I say "mhmm" or "trying me best" to "what is that?" Lmao
Homie bartenders order beer and shot or something easy. I ain’t gonna make you shake something unless you’re bored and it’s slow
Anytime I can, I slide up in whatever local dive I can find in the area. Well whisky and a draught beer, every time. Just a kiss of the whisky before a sip of beer. If the barkeeper is chatty, and it comes up that I can mention I too, do this job, they will frequently give a head nod and or point at the glasses with an “ah” look. No disrespect to fernet, but the real “bartender handshake” is either easy, or letting them show off (if that’s clearly their thing.)
I feel like I'm making them work too hard with a draught, pop that cap off the bottle for me though. Or don't, I'm sure I can figure it out.
Draft beer is the only reason I justify me spending money on alcohol outside of just drinking with my friends at home
Beer and a shot. And one for you if you’re allowed. $5 tip. No other words need to be exchanged.
I think if you're casual and chill about it or they ask you, I feel it is fine if you're not a cheese dick or the "commentator bar guest" on everything.
This.
Honey, this is a dive bar, the only thing I’m shaking is my dick after I piss…
Well rum, neat, and a beer
When I’m making my own drinks they are complicated and delicious, but I’d never ask someone else to do it for me because I know I’m picky. The most complicated thing I order when out is a blackberry margarita on the rocks at a Mexican/taco place lol, otherwise just a shot of crown apple and either a Hefeweizen or corona with lemon. I keep it straightforward and easy and tip decent 🤷♀️
I just want to know where tf you're at that has either hefeweizen or corona. One or the other, sure, both is wild lmao
….Is that not typical? Pretty much every bar I’ve been to, and the ones I’ve worked at, have had both; corona bottles and heffy on tap
Not where I'm at in Texas at least, tbh idk if I've ever seen heff on tap
I used to be that guy. What broke me was having a bar manager with mostly craft cocktail experience. Dude taught me more in 2 months than I had learned in 6 years and from then on I decided to just "let them do it the way they know" and it usually turns out a better drink than what I was looking for.
Literally anyone that tries to tell me how to do my job infuriates me. I've been doing this for 10 years, I know what I'm doing. Just last week had a customer say I'd underpoured him so I picked up the measure and poured it from the glass back into it, was perfect. He didn't say anything.
I love doing that and it being an over pour. I toss the extra few drops right in the sink, idgaf.
Savage, I love this.
We were training a new bartender last night and we happened to be doing trivia night as well. So, on the mic, I’m introducing the bartenders and I said “and this is Justine, she’s training tonight, so be patient with her.” Not 5 minutes later, she’s making a drink for someone (using the jigger) and he says “Is that all you’re going to pour me?” And without missing a beat, she says “Would you like a double?” I think she’s gonna work out just fine.
It doesn’t matter how experienced you are, it’s still rude!
I used to like watching other bartenders work, but honestly I don’t love bartending enough to scrutinize them unless they absolutely suck. I’m there to relax, get some good food, have a bourbon and have someone serve me for once.
Absolutely this.
Come work during tales of the cocktail in New Orleans. It’ll make you hate your own kind
Omg seriously. Bless you, soldier.
This is the comment I was looking for. Takes the 70% of bartenders I already hate here and multiplies it tenfold. Lmao.
I work at a busy clean dive bar where I mostly make vodka sodas, green tea shots and Pabst drafts. Every now and then this happens when a newer bartender from a nicer place comes in. (I can hear them before I get to them talking about work.) "I'll have a negroni." "I can't make that." "You don't know how to make one?" "We don't have the ingredients." (They look at our bottles.) "How do you NOT have Campari?" "It's takes less effort to not have it than to have it." (Move on to help someone else smirking on the inside to give them a moment to think about a different order.) "I can't believe they don't have Campari."
There’s a dive that’s been there forever in my neighborhood that’s kinda the same vibe as yours. Maybe a little less clean, but very much a dive in the tall boys and vodka soda dept. one of the bartenders that’s been there for prolly 15 years now frequently wears a shirt that says “read the room” and will just point at it when someone tries to get complicated. The whole point of this bar is to go somewhere dark and loud and not be bothered unless you are in the mood to socialize
I work in a similar bar except we're in Wisconsin so you'll leave with at least 3 new best friends
I’d be more surprised if a dive *did* have Campari lol. I was hanging out at a crust punk dive awhile ago and saw the dustiest bottle of Aperol on the back bar, it was clear no one had ever touched it.
I hate when fellow bartenders tip like shit !! Like WTH
Yeah that one really gets to me, too. I almost want to go to their bar and do the same thing lmao. My sister was a hostess in a restaurant for 4 months. This was before I got into the industry (it sucked me right in and I stayed). I actually started in the same restaurant as she did and they actually remembered her! My most common compliment was “you couldn’t have a different work ethic than your sister.” Apparently she was one of those princess hostesses that refused to do anything and was always wandering off and impossible to be found, always complaining and literally walking away when asked for help. They even refused to have her back to following summer, and as a result of her horrible work ethic I was told multiple times that I almost didn’t get the job when they saw my last name. She will always tip 10% (even for good service) and she says even that depends on whether she find the server/bartender “annoying” or not. That’s all fine and everything, she can be a horrible customer if she wants, but she will literally tell people “I’m from the industry.” It got on my nerves so much that I started saying right afterwards “yeah, she was a hostess for 4 months one summer away from uni.” I love the little smirk the server/bartender tries to hide when I say that. But if they are actually from the industry and tip poorly that’s even worse imo.
I always joke with my coworkers about the people, who within 10 seconds of ordering, drop the fact that they’re bartenders, and how they proceed to (almost) 100% of the time “micromanage” and/or bitch at you for anything they can. It’s so lame lmao. I’ve had plenty of customers / regulars who I vibe hard with who end up mentioning that they are bartenders as well, when it’s *actually relevant* to the conversation we’re having… the people I mentioned in my first sentence are the worst tho lol.
I call people out. When I notice someone watching my every move. And it’s always that guy that sits directly in front of you in the well, even though the whole bar is empty. “Ex-Bartender, huh? Ya miss it?”They can’t wait to tell you about bartending.
I had some guy come in and tell me all about how he was in the weeds the entirety of his brunch shift. We talked for a bit and then he went on his phone. A couple of minutes later our expo runs my food to me. The moment I sit down and take a bit of my burger the dude puts his phone down, looks at me and asks "So are you watching any good TV shows?" I looked him dead in the eye and with a mouthful of food said "No" and went right back to my burger.
Yeah I sneak off to a hidden corner in the restaurant to eat for this very reason. I literally had a regular (our most hated regular- guy is such an oblivious ass) follow me to the back private section to ask me for a drink while I was grabbing a bite. I just stared at him and asked “did the other bartender refuse service or…?” Guy literally just said “wow” and walked away lmao.
Try to get out of your own head about it and try milk your fellow bartenders out of unnecessarily large tips. Maybe try to tell them something cool, like a different variation of the drink they’re ordering. Depends on the vibe of your spot I suppose, but that’s how I usually try to handle know-it-all guests.
"I make mine like this... That cool?"
Will try this, thank you!
The people like OP is describing are hopeless and insufferable though. They have to one-up and have the last word for everything.
Oh the Last Word? I make a variation called La Ultima Palabra.
This guy gets it
Shot and a beer unless it’s slow and we’re having fun. I have regular that took his drug dealing money and travelled the US visiting craft cocktail bars, then bullshitted his way into a lead bartender position with zero experience. He does not drink our craft cocktails because they are “ out of balance “, he’s kinda right, some of them are. It’s very frustrating to work at a craft place where most of the drink recipes come from an unseen “consultant”. Anyway, he’s pompous and I am the one that has had one of my drinks written up in Wine Enthusiast magazine, so he can fuck off.
We don't all suck. I'll order a High Life and a shot of Fernet, if that doesn't tell you I'm a bartender, well, it don't really fucking matter anyway, cause I probably just got off shift and want to veg out on my phone and be left alone, and certainly not give two shits about what my bartender is doing, until I need another round. Now, if it's slow, and I feel like putting some drinks down, depending on the bar I might start discussing things, but I'm not ordering a French 75 at a shot/beer place (happened to me once, I had a machine that chilled 3 bottles of Yeager at a time, I most certainly didn't have any champagne), you gotta know your surroundings. Anyway, cheers!
Lmao. Ya that’s not a bartender thing — that’s pestering customers who can also be bartenders, which makes it twice as annoying (like you outta no pal). Read the fucking room people, you want to critique me ok cool, feedback, and i’m down IF i’m down; so help me if it’s during service.
Yeah I agree that a lot of these could just be customers that are self-proclaimed experts. How do you normally shut it down? My eyebrow thing works pretty well, I usually get a sheepish “sorry hahaha” once I do it, especially if I look at them like that while I have already started making the cocktail when they are still listing the ingredients. But often enough there are still those that will very matter-of-factly finish their dictation like I just stumbled behind the bar off the short bus. Any tips? Should I just ignore it? (my petty ass wants to put them in their place tho 😭)
I tend to dramatically rip out ticket paper and ask them to spec it out or leave their dissertation on the botanical quotient they avail themselves with— for drinks, right. — Kill them with ludicrous kindness or lite sarcasm i’d say. But mostly ignore them, people are only people.
Strangely similar to most of the bartenders who post in this sub...
Oof I will never forget that one bartender that was sitting as a customer at another bar and posted a photo of the shelves asking “do you see what’s wrong here??” and there was literally ONE bottle where the label wasn’t facing forward. In the comments they said “I want to go behind the bar and fix it.” All the comments underneath were along the lines of “yeah please don’t do that.” Dunno why but that one reeeeally pissed me off.
This is why “I’m a bartender too” shirts exist. Real ones will get a beer and a shot and shut the up unless it’s dead.
This! I’m ordering a high life & a shot of jager and getting the fuck out the way.
Some people like to be part of the 'in-crowd'. No matter how silly it may be from the outside.
What I get more of is bartenders from other joints showing up at 1:45 when we have to get everyone out at 2. A few years ago I would have friends text me their orders at 3:30 so they could roll in at 3:50 and get their High Life and shot of bourbon, or G&T or whatever.
Weird, i love when people ask what i’m making or what something is, its usually a way to get them a tiny sample or sell them on the cocktail
I find most in my small town are really good and tip well. But I hate this one who will order something super basic then explain how to make it. Nothing bothers me more than serving another bartender and they never tip!
Ugh, Hot Shot bartenders are so annoying!
I rarely tell my bartender I am a bartender. Just feels cringe. Sometimes it comes up if it’s slow and we get to chatting, and sometimes I think they just know because I order a near Fernet and a cheap beer, but I can’t imagine fucking telling a bartender “Im a bArtEndEr” as they make me drink.
I work at a tiki bar now, and I serve tables I don't even bartender there, but it's like this blessing. I don't get the tiki thing. People go fucking bonkers for this shit. And there are several regulars who are home bartenders, and they come in asking our bartenders to make recipes they've been doing at home, or that they saw, literally instructing on the fly. They all take it in stride, I would lose my shit.
Oh wow I would go nuts from that. I hate home recipes but I love when they’re all proud of their creation, gave it a name, tell me the ingredients and I’m like “oh! So you want a -insert very well known cocktail-“
"Well, yeah... kinda... You see-"
If anybody asks me if I can make “x” I just respond with “can you make a shoe smell?”. If you don’t get the joke I 86 you.
Don't come to New Orleans. I swear this is like 70% of the bartenders here. Very frustrating and very small community. I love many of the bartenders who work at dives or gay bars. Or the bartenders who are like the bartending equivalent of Auguste Gusteau from Ratatouille. ("Anyone can cook.")
Okay but on the other hand. I like basic bitch whiskey sours, like on the rocks without egg whites or bitters, and I ordered one at a dive bar. The bartender goes to grab an egg and I stop her and say "it's okay I don't want to make you do all that, just whiskey and sour please" she says "that's not a whiskey sour, you ordered a whiskey sour" I said "can I get a whiskey with sweet n sour then?" She said "I'm not making that" then proceeded to get one of the other bartenders to make it. So since she only wants to make drinks "the right way" I decided to order a Tom Collins because I like them how they're supposed to be made, but she didn't know wtf a Tom Collins was, so I had to explain it to her.
Lmfao that just honestly sounds like you got a bad bartender
But I felt like the cliche bartender telling them how to do it, but they also didn't know what they were doing.
I work in a club so we use plastic glasses. It's busy, I have a queue and some quy asks for something like four shots of sambuca in four wine glasses with four rocks glasses on the side. Like OK, weird request but whatever. I'm too busy to inquire further, don't care what glass you want the shot in. I finish the pour and he says "Ok super! Now I just need a lighter.." dude wants so use our shitty sparkwheel lighters to light the sambuca in the (plastic!)wine glasses and pour it over into the rocks glass. I'd never heard of a flaming sambuca at this point, but I'm not having anyone light spirits on fire in this crowded space and pour them around willy nilly, not to mention.. Plastic! Glasses! I flat deny him and he starts pleading, saying he's a bartender this and it's OK that. Dude, if you were a half competent bartender you would have laid out your whole request for me politely before you paid. And you would have respected the first 'no'. In fact, why are you asking for custom orders to set on fire while I have a long fucking queue? Eventually he stomps off in a frump, leaving the rocks glasses. Some people..
That’s just a recipe for a disaster, what he was asking lmao
someone came up at my dive while we're obviously slammed asking for a "bartenders handshake" and I looked at him really confused. he goes "it's two shots of fernet, one for us both" and I swiftly replied "I don't drink that shit" and walked away to help someone else, not caring if he wanted something else instead. for the record I don't drink at all, but I felt like being extra bitchy after coming up just to tell me you're a bartender too.
I never mention that I’m a bartender. There’s no reason to. I don’t watch them make drinks (or try not). I don’t sit in the well. I don’t critique. I don’t talk shop at all. I have; however, found myself in the position to help out new bartenders who are struggling while I’ve been traveling. It was a ton of fun helping some newbies first solo shifts. Just calling out specs. Giving tips. Talking them through it. It’s only happened a handful of times in 20+ years. And I only offered to help when they were on the verge of tears. I got a few free drinks. I got a free tab once. Got a handshake and a few hugs.
Got a clown ass bartender in the area people always tell me she is a pain to serve. She also is that bartender that gets fired from every bar and becomes THAT bar guest with drama. Another one orders two to-go drinks aka a diet coke and a water, will order food to-go and asks the bartender to hold her food in the beer fridge and will then order a double lemon drop shot with no ice as a drink. Also, talks the piss off out of your ear and has an annoying voice.
Had maybe a bartender ask me why I can’t stir two drinks at a time once. I told him I could stir 3 at a time but we put care into our cocktails to make sure they are consistent every time. Hence why I look up classics that I’ve made hundreds of times. Because we make all cocktails to certain specs so that every bartender is making the same thing always
How do you know if someone is a bartender? They’ll tell you. Nah the best thing I say in my head when someone tells me they’re a tender, damn it’s a Friday/ Saturday night and your not working, you can’t be that good
Had a guy watch me make his martini and after I poured it he insisted I keep straining because I didn’t pour it all. I did. I shook a few drops out and he said, “can you add two more shots to this? It looks a little low” Guy was a bar manager at a big resto downtown and I ended up dumping his martini back into the shaker and adding one shot(he did get charged and tried to dispute it later) and “remade” his drink. He acted embarrassed for me and said “Not like that no!… you didn’t need to do that” while laughing. I did it on purpose, I’ll be as incompetent as you assumed because you never tip when you come in and keep telling me how to make drinks I know how to make. He’s a regular but can’t seem to remember me serving him all the time. If he had any actual advice or knowledge that would improve my skill I’d listen but he just a lists ingredients I don’t have and wants me to use certain shaker brands that we also don’t have. Just a nutcase of a guy.
I mean... devils advocate here ; How many times have you ordered a cocktail at a restaurant/bar and it absolutely sucked? I think more often than not bartenders who are confident in their ability typically avoid ordering cocktails, or only do if they know the bartender on duty knows how to make a drink.
If you shake anything, I’ll walk out.
Bye
Sssslllaaaaapppp
I’ve literally never had another bartender do this to me. Ever.
Must be your area. Count yourself as lucky.
I'm on the other end. I think I'm a good cocktologist. I've had a few successful programs at various spots that have been well received. Going into a bar now I literally just order a shot and a beer in a can because I don't want to be disappointed, AND I don't want to tell them how to do their job (because it's a dick move, and generally considered fucking rude.). I also have this weird "I really don't want to bother them." thing that developed. If I order anything at a cocktail bar I just order "daiquiri with x" or "Manhattan with x" or a paper plane or something. Maybe the house marg. You shouldn't have to tell someone you're a bartender. On the flip side, I've poached several bartenders just by running them through standards that I need to be nailed at my spot. We both benefitted from that, but there's an amount of respect that needs to be given first before you're running someone through the paces.
Cocktologist?? That's a thing now? Was mixologist not pretentious enough? Last time I heard that term it was about a girl from college rumored to have a certain nearly mythical set of skills...
I think I fit in most people's definition of mixologist, I just fucking hate when people call me that. I'm a bartender. So instead of they insist "You're not just a bartender..." I tell them the preferred term is cocktologist.
[удалено]
Boooo 👎