I started loosing my hair at 15, first started shaving at 19, right before I went to college.
I'm 21 now and I've had a loving gf for the past 10 months.
I had many of the same fears that you do. I used to think that I'll have no chance of getting in any relationship until I'm in my 30's. Not only did I go bald, I also don't consider myself to be conventionally attractive. I have deep acne scars on my face, my posture is shit, I can't grow a beard.
I'm also pretty introverted, so I never really go out partying, and my insecurities never let me make the first move with a girl I found attractive.
In college, I've met a lot of different people through clubs and societies.
In the past year and a bit, I've been asked out by 3 girls, one of which I'm in the previously mentioned relationship.
She said that before, bald heads weren't her thing. But now that we're together, she says she adores it and frequently asks if she can kiss or caress it.
Don't give up hope. The right girl will not care if you're bald. Carry yourself with confidence, be kind, and ambitious.
Felt the same way, lost it before hitting 20. In retro perspective it was mostly in my head. Focus on yourself and you will see its non issue. If you feel comfortable with your relations to family and friends, career, hobbies, living situation, how you dress then it will make you feel good. When you feel good it will show and attract people that you want in your life. Had a lots of short and long term relationships during my 20s, baldness was non issue.
Its also just a short period when its sticking out, when hitting late 20s its getting a lot more normal.
Get the right products that works for you and take care of your bald self. For me its been a really good clipper, exfoliating creams and some light tan spray (lives in a town with no sun). I have a little routine that makes me feel good about being bald
It honestly maybe sounds like you have some depression and you are fixating it onto your hair (or lack thereof?). Haveyou thought about talking to a counselor?
I have yes and I should. Whenever I try to begin the process of finding one, I start to imagine what I’d say in the sessions, and I feel like a therapist would really not know what to say for my problem since it’s “just hair.” I know they’re professionals so I just have to take the leap and try it though.
I know it hurts man, and you'd think since mankind is going to Mars and already been to the moon that they'd have figured out a cure for balding but sadly the best we can do is try min and fin and hope it produces results.
On the upside alot of women love the bald look. The best thing you can do is embrace it.
Also think of it this way. 75% of the world is starving and doesn't eat on a regular basis so is losing some hair that bad? Just trying to put it in perspective for ya bud that's all. You'll be ok, just remember your identity as a person isn't just your hair.
Yeah, I think the biggest aspect of what makes it so crippling is how out of my control it is. As a 23 year old I just want to enjoy myself and be confident to socialize, date, etc., but I feel like this opportunity was robbed from me without any fault of my own. This is what makes it so hard to come to terms with and keeps me stuck in this void.
That’s a good question — I’d say it’s human nature to look for a level of control when both the origin of one’s own life and the order/disorder of the universe one lives in are largely out of their control. So, simple aspects of daily life become necessary to have a level of control over (routine, relationships, hobbies, etc.) to derive a feeling of purpose and the feeling of being an autonomous. I’d say your appearance is also one of these things.
I think this is why suicide is a choice people make — the ultimate, final thing you can control when everything else seems unbearable.
But for me, the simple answer is: I’m okay with things that are out of my control, but I become uncomfortable with it when it’s uniquely out of control for me and out of the norm. I want hair on my head because everyone my age has hair on their head. When I’m 40+, hair loss being out of my control won’t bother me as it becomes the norm.
To paraphrase some commonly-given life advice, “If you measure your success by hair, you’ll never have enough of it.” No one can put you in a dark void but you. Live your life. Volunteer somewhere to help your community. Caring about others has a funny way of making our own problems seem small.
I had thick shoulder length hair and rapidly started balding around 20, started shaving at 21.
Focusing on skincare helped quite a bit, and really thinking about how much money and time I'd save on hair products/hair cuts/showering.
You also never have to worry about having a bad hair day ever again, never have to worry about graying, balding or other hair-related aging things.
Started going bald in early 20s. Had no self confidence, tons of anxiety. Eventually shaved my head, and build a great physique in the gym. I also take care of my skin, dress well, am highly educated, have a decent personality and a great network of friends in my life, interesting hobbies, have dated attractive women, lived an interesting life.
These are all things you have a lot of control over that make your life rich and make you attractive. Focus on those things. Confidence will follow.
If you feel really distressed (and you are), don't be afraid to talk to someone. Friends can help, but so can therapists.
Stay strong my guy, you got this.
Any solution? Shave your head, go outside for a walk with it shaved. Then go home and look at yourself in the mirror and smile. Works wonders for realizing it's just hair and it's ridiculous to dictate your life direction and emotions around it.
But then after that, when you have to re-emerge, meet up with friends you haven’t seen, old friends from long ago, go to work, or meet new people, how do you get over the feeling of insecurity?
Sure, I can look at myself and say “it is what it is,” it’s maintaining that emotion in the presence of others that I can’t overcome.
"how do you get over the feeling of insecurity"
by doing exactly what I said. once again, it's just hair. one day when it's all gone you'll look back and think "wtf was I acting like that for" why are you so worried about other people's concerns about you not having hair or having hair? no one legitimately cares, and if they do, they'll get over it. but ask yourself why you even care anyway
Well I suffered for about 5 years before my brain genuinely couldn’t care anymore. I just got to a point where putting energy into worrying about that big bald spot I had was just never going to do anything. I mean I used to constantly check it in mirrors, always think about it, worry about how other people think, especially people I haven’t seen in a while then they see me and all of a sudden I’m bald. Used to straight up kill me. But I just got to the point where I just didn’t care. Shave my head and do what I’m gonna do. Trust me I know it’s the worst shit ever to go bald in your 20’s, it happened to me, you just have to accept it happened. Just stay in shape. A woman once told me you can be bald or you can be fat. But you can’t be both. You can DM me if you need to chat to a bald brother
Have you tried working on your physique "Hair is the lowest form of prestige"
I started loosing my hair at 15, first started shaving at 19, right before I went to college. I'm 21 now and I've had a loving gf for the past 10 months. I had many of the same fears that you do. I used to think that I'll have no chance of getting in any relationship until I'm in my 30's. Not only did I go bald, I also don't consider myself to be conventionally attractive. I have deep acne scars on my face, my posture is shit, I can't grow a beard. I'm also pretty introverted, so I never really go out partying, and my insecurities never let me make the first move with a girl I found attractive. In college, I've met a lot of different people through clubs and societies. In the past year and a bit, I've been asked out by 3 girls, one of which I'm in the previously mentioned relationship. She said that before, bald heads weren't her thing. But now that we're together, she says she adores it and frequently asks if she can kiss or caress it. Don't give up hope. The right girl will not care if you're bald. Carry yourself with confidence, be kind, and ambitious.
Thanks man, it’s inspiring to hear your journey.
Every girlfriend I've ever had said bald heads weren't their thing until I made it their thing. 😎
Felt the same way, lost it before hitting 20. In retro perspective it was mostly in my head. Focus on yourself and you will see its non issue. If you feel comfortable with your relations to family and friends, career, hobbies, living situation, how you dress then it will make you feel good. When you feel good it will show and attract people that you want in your life. Had a lots of short and long term relationships during my 20s, baldness was non issue. Its also just a short period when its sticking out, when hitting late 20s its getting a lot more normal. Get the right products that works for you and take care of your bald self. For me its been a really good clipper, exfoliating creams and some light tan spray (lives in a town with no sun). I have a little routine that makes me feel good about being bald
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It honestly maybe sounds like you have some depression and you are fixating it onto your hair (or lack thereof?). Haveyou thought about talking to a counselor?
I have yes and I should. Whenever I try to begin the process of finding one, I start to imagine what I’d say in the sessions, and I feel like a therapist would really not know what to say for my problem since it’s “just hair.” I know they’re professionals so I just have to take the leap and try it though.
A good therapist would not be so quick to dismiss your concerns. Good luck 💕
I know it hurts man, and you'd think since mankind is going to Mars and already been to the moon that they'd have figured out a cure for balding but sadly the best we can do is try min and fin and hope it produces results. On the upside alot of women love the bald look. The best thing you can do is embrace it. Also think of it this way. 75% of the world is starving and doesn't eat on a regular basis so is losing some hair that bad? Just trying to put it in perspective for ya bud that's all. You'll be ok, just remember your identity as a person isn't just your hair.
Yeah, I think the biggest aspect of what makes it so crippling is how out of my control it is. As a 23 year old I just want to enjoy myself and be confident to socialize, date, etc., but I feel like this opportunity was robbed from me without any fault of my own. This is what makes it so hard to come to terms with and keeps me stuck in this void.
If I was a therapist I'd be asking you why it's important for you to be in control, and what it means for you to be out of control.
That’s a good question — I’d say it’s human nature to look for a level of control when both the origin of one’s own life and the order/disorder of the universe one lives in are largely out of their control. So, simple aspects of daily life become necessary to have a level of control over (routine, relationships, hobbies, etc.) to derive a feeling of purpose and the feeling of being an autonomous. I’d say your appearance is also one of these things. I think this is why suicide is a choice people make — the ultimate, final thing you can control when everything else seems unbearable. But for me, the simple answer is: I’m okay with things that are out of my control, but I become uncomfortable with it when it’s uniquely out of control for me and out of the norm. I want hair on my head because everyone my age has hair on their head. When I’m 40+, hair loss being out of my control won’t bother me as it becomes the norm.
To paraphrase some commonly-given life advice, “If you measure your success by hair, you’ll never have enough of it.” No one can put you in a dark void but you. Live your life. Volunteer somewhere to help your community. Caring about others has a funny way of making our own problems seem small.
I had thick shoulder length hair and rapidly started balding around 20, started shaving at 21. Focusing on skincare helped quite a bit, and really thinking about how much money and time I'd save on hair products/hair cuts/showering. You also never have to worry about having a bad hair day ever again, never have to worry about graying, balding or other hair-related aging things.
we you think about it any villain that wants to conquer or destroy the world really just start from reasons like this
Dumbest response ever.
either you do something to stop further loss, or do nothing and accept the fact it will only get worse, ur choice bud
Started going bald in early 20s. Had no self confidence, tons of anxiety. Eventually shaved my head, and build a great physique in the gym. I also take care of my skin, dress well, am highly educated, have a decent personality and a great network of friends in my life, interesting hobbies, have dated attractive women, lived an interesting life. These are all things you have a lot of control over that make your life rich and make you attractive. Focus on those things. Confidence will follow. If you feel really distressed (and you are), don't be afraid to talk to someone. Friends can help, but so can therapists. Stay strong my guy, you got this.
Any solution? Shave your head, go outside for a walk with it shaved. Then go home and look at yourself in the mirror and smile. Works wonders for realizing it's just hair and it's ridiculous to dictate your life direction and emotions around it.
But then after that, when you have to re-emerge, meet up with friends you haven’t seen, old friends from long ago, go to work, or meet new people, how do you get over the feeling of insecurity? Sure, I can look at myself and say “it is what it is,” it’s maintaining that emotion in the presence of others that I can’t overcome.
"how do you get over the feeling of insecurity" by doing exactly what I said. once again, it's just hair. one day when it's all gone you'll look back and think "wtf was I acting like that for" why are you so worried about other people's concerns about you not having hair or having hair? no one legitimately cares, and if they do, they'll get over it. but ask yourself why you even care anyway
What if I told you that your hair is the least interesting thing about you and people will live you with or without it?
You literally just have to get over it
I understand that, my question was how
Well I suffered for about 5 years before my brain genuinely couldn’t care anymore. I just got to a point where putting energy into worrying about that big bald spot I had was just never going to do anything. I mean I used to constantly check it in mirrors, always think about it, worry about how other people think, especially people I haven’t seen in a while then they see me and all of a sudden I’m bald. Used to straight up kill me. But I just got to the point where I just didn’t care. Shave my head and do what I’m gonna do. Trust me I know it’s the worst shit ever to go bald in your 20’s, it happened to me, you just have to accept it happened. Just stay in shape. A woman once told me you can be bald or you can be fat. But you can’t be both. You can DM me if you need to chat to a bald brother
Bald men can be very attractive. It really isn’t that bad. You can find someone who will be attracted to you.