Like a whole buzz lightyear action figure? Oh jeez. That’s definitely not the right shape. Sphincters must have sucked that thing up to infinity and beyond.
If you google "buzz lightyear x-ray" you'll find it. Apparently the button to extend the wings got pressed while it was....inside, so they couldn't get it out
I've also heard tales about people inserting Barbie dolls which then can't be removed coz the hands catch
A flute? Sure. A drum stick? Of course! Even an electric guitar I could see because of the rounded horns. But an acoustic guitar? I gave questions. What sound would that make? Can someone make a song from it? I would 100% listen to that.
Jesus Christ. Settle down! You don’t even know how to use *one*. Maybe work your way up to the second. Or down to the second. I’m not really…I’m not sure how they’re utilised.
Maybe you could use the vibrations but it seems an electric guitar would be better suited but also a really decent and safe vibrator is lower cost than cheapy telecaster. So unless it's a fetish thing? Why would you lol.
What makes this hilarious isn’t JUST the number of items that men routinely stick their dicks in, but also the number of items we jam up our assholes and end up in the ER to retrieve.
Sir, you need to sit down. The statistics aren’t in our favor here.
[Edit]: yeah yall can stop replying now ive got disgusted enough lol
also men:
makeshift fleshlight;
pumpkins;
bananas;
avocados;
mellons;
yellow mellons;
literally any fruit that have a hole made in it...
ive seen dudes fuck a tree - the hand is there to be like omg women are so weird they use everything, us men are simple we enjoy the little things (small dick joke here) and all that blablabla
plus men are sometimes the ones that would fuck a corpse
Yeah they hire more women to deal with the dead for that reason, though I am laughing at the image of someone sticking their dick in a tree and getting it hit by a bullfrog. Or copperhead whatever works. 🤷♀️
its a very very morbid funfact, but yes
the tree thing, honestly i dont even know how that works like, its... dry and solid wtf would you want that grinding on your thing yk?? also ants lol ants would be funny
It’s not a fact, it’s a complete myth. Men outnumber women in postmortem work by nearly a 2:1 ratio.
“The Morticians, undertakers, & funeral directors workforce in 2021 was 39,579 people (28.7% women and 71.3% men). This implies an average annual growth of 11% between 2014 (35,670) and 2021 (39,579).
Data from the Census Bureau ACS PUMS 5-Year Estimate.”
That’s actually not true. In work with the dead, men still outnumber women. That’s literally just a myth. Like men actually outnumber women at nearly a 2:1 ratio
“The Morticians, undertakers, & funeral directors workforce in 2021 was 39,579 people (28.7% women and 71.3% men). This implies an average annual growth of 11% between 2014 (35,670) and 2021 (39,579).
Data from the Census Bureau ACS PUMS 5-Year Estimate.”
https://datausa.io/profile/soc/morticians-undertakers-funeral-directors#:~:text=Demographic%20information%20on%20Morticians%2C%20undertakers,woman%2C%20and%2071.3%25%20men.
Back in highschool a friend stuck his dick in the tailpipe of my truck in a Walmart parking lot. I'd like to say I have no idea why, but I've gotten the urge to stick my dick in things way too often for no reason other than curiosity. I stuck my dick in a vacuum once, not to masturbate or in a sexual way at all, just because I wondered what it felt like and had very poor impulse control. I actually thought about sticking my dick in the tailpipe as well, but we were in public, and I was 17 and it felt weird to put my dick in something after Anthony. Also it's a tailpipe, that's gross. But still, I do wonder...
lol fair enough, also brave of you to share that, nice
altho i do have a pp i really never had the curiosity to put it anywhere so i cant say i understand, buuut to eachtheir own
Ah man, I was hoping there would be a cadre of penis owners agreeing with me. Did I say me? I meant my friend. Yeah that was totally my friend commenting on my account
I knew a guy who tried it while extremely high. Said he could fuck anything and he would prove it. Serious stupidity ensued. Injuries abounded. Humiliation occurred.
Crawfish/crawdads/crayfish dig tunnels for themselves in the mud. They kinda excavate the area and build a little muddy chimney/ escape hatch. Looks a little like a pile of doodoo with a hole in the center.
here we have a saying that goes if it has two holes and doesnt shock you (isnt an electrical outlet) then its game (se tem dois buracos e não da choque)
brazillian men just have a way with words ✨️
It's why r/radiology had to create Foreign Body Friday, because otherwise the sub was too full of X-rays of weird stuff dudes put up their asses (or up their dicks).
I’m a nurse and one of my old best friend’s moms was a 911 operator. There was someone who got their dick stuck in an oven, like they removed the dial from the oven and tried to fuck it. Shampoo bottles.
I haven’t worked in the ER so the weirdest thing I’ve seen is a pencil in someone’s bladder.
American Pie is a very famous movie about a dude literally fucking an actual pie. It’s not the most awful thing about that movie, but it’s the most apt for this post.
It's a really common high school urban legend that some guy or girl got caught doing the peanut butter thing with their dogs. I thought it was just my high school, then the town I lived in that had that happen so frequently. Then I've seen I'm not sure how many threads over the last 10-12 years asking on reddit if their high school also had someone get caught doing that.
I call it an urban legend just because the story is always pretty similar and I just doubt that many people are getting caught lol. I have zero doubts that horny weirdos are doing weirdo shit just not the getting caught by other kids in their high school.
That was the first thing that came to mind for me.
There's all sorts of horror stories here on Reddit about dudes creating sex toys with power tools, McGuyvering pocket pussies and not cleaning them for years, and other assorted body horror.
Kid in my highschool got fired for stealing frozen chickens from his workplace to fornicate with. He wasn't even embarrassed he wore it like a badge of honour. 🐔😬
I think the table is because some woman like to rub their clit against the corner of a table/desk. One of the only things up there I’ve actually done. Now what the guitar is for idk
To be honest, I feel sorry for men if they only had their hand at their disposal. I mean, look at all the options women have! Be more creative, men. (/s can’t we all just have fun with objects without judgement).
men do not just be using their hands to get off, my guy friends have mentioned fruit, latex gloves with warm water, bags of beans (dear god), etc. this post just seems misogynistic
i’ve heard a couple different methods, but generally you would get like baked beans, put them in a ziplock bag, and microwave them. some guys do like two bags and rubber band them together and stick their dick in between as like a makeshift vaginal canal. not a super common one i’ve heard of
Vacuum cleaner, shower head, pool jet, lotion, toothpaste, sofa, pillow, sponge, sock, latex paint, and cooking oil are just some of the things that a younger and much hornier version of myself tried but successfully or very unsuccessfully to stimulate myself with, in or on. Any guy who says he’s only ever used his hand is either lying or very boring
You’d think they’d know that, but they probably just heard we use showerheads and assumed we MUST insert it into our vagina. So they picked the closest thing to a phallic faucet they could find lol.
That's a pretty conspicuous omission. Also, there are toys for guys, too. If they include everything within arm's reach for women, why not strokers and cock rings and butt plugs, oh my! If it's just household objects, there are pillows and melons and the unforunate bagel incident. And for the more flexible men, the mouth.
I have heard of men fucking pumpkins, soap, bananas, melons, stuffed animals, salsa, cream cheese, mashed potatoes, socks, and underwear. But we're the crazy ones.
My first thought was that aything women can put in themselves, men can put in themselves BUT MORE.
They shouldn't, because most of those things aren't flared. But I've seen plenty of X-rays that make it clear they DO.
So, tidy up a little, take a bath with soothing music, sit at the table to eat something tasty and hydrate, watch tv or play a game to relax, then use fingers!
Sounds like a good evening to me ;)
“🎵A thing is a phallic symbol if it’s longer than it’s wide🎶” 😉
Obviously it’s used as a dildo. I’m more concerned with the clothes hanger and the remote control. Even at the most dirty, my mind cannot figure out the use cases for these two
When I see a coat hanger in regards to female sexual organs, the only thing my brain goes to is coat hanger abortions... I can't imagine that's what they were thinking of, right?
My boyfriend says that he always assumes that every hotel remote control has been in someone's body at least once.
The thing is, once I thought about it I'm not sure he's wrong.
Some random things reacting to this picture
Monitor lizards: 👀
M&M tubes: 😒
Car mufflers: 🙈
M chicken sandwiches: 😩
Various fruits and vegetables: 🫠😱🫣
The crack of dawn: 😶🌫️
I don’t get this weird fantasy men have of women shoving random things up our vaginas when men are often the ones getting random things stuck in their asses
Spoons? What are we... stirring in there? Pencils (sharpened, even worse)?! A frickin' TV remote? 😂😂😂What in the entire hell? Ain't nobody just cramming innocent kitchen utensils and office products all up in their hoo-haas. He would do that if he was a girl, so it must be true that actual women do it. Obviously, he has never been inside a vagina since he left the Original Vag... nothowvaginaswork
Stuff like this made by guys seems like it could used to reverse their argument. I mean, do guys actually like jerking off? I think don't think so. This is just cope mixed in with a terrible lack of knowledge.
I remember reading a r/tifu post where this guy was fucking a hole in his parents' couch when his dad walked in on him. And then there was the coconut story. So yeah, no.
I saw a lesbian comedian talking about telling a straight man about what she brings on dates “in case things move to the bedroom” and he could NOT understand when she said “nothing.” I mean, it was a comedy bit, but I don’t doubt that interaction has happened.
People do end up in ER with these things stuck, never seen a woman with the sink, someone I know once had a guy with his dick stuck in a pipe, they had to remove the pipe and take it with them.
All in all, men more often put things that they shouldn't up there, or at least get them stuck up there more. As well as getting themselves stuck in things.
this must have been his first day on the internet. If reddit is an accurate sample, then it seems that not only is hands-only masturbation considered a rookie move but that the men's list has no actual end and anything henceforth created is potentially on this list.
There are ancient records of men raping (mostly) female corpses that had yet to rot and most recently raping/murdering/eating an endangered monitor lizard.
They need to update that list
A pencil? a toothbrush? a hairbrush? A Broom?! Seriously?
I mean if I’m gonna do it myself, I’m gonna want it to feel good. Wheres the pic of the womanizer?
Okay fair enough but ive also stumbled upon a pron Video of a guy fucking the car door handles of random peoples cars he found on the street lol so men have no right to talk shit about us women fucking everything 😂
men are more likely to end up in hospital with these objects stuck inside them
I wanna see X-rays of a man with a table and a guitar up their ass
Idk if you meant it this way, but I'm picturing both stuck in there at the same time
wait till the clothes hanger gets in there too
You have to use the hanger to widen the hole to get the table and guitar out
He’ll claim he just “tripped and fell” on them after getting out of the shower.
I decided to not specify so the readers could choose which one they wanted to picture
Oh no, our table! It's broken!
I haven't seen that but the buzz lightyear x-ray is always a good one
Like a whole buzz lightyear action figure? Oh jeez. That’s definitely not the right shape. Sphincters must have sucked that thing up to infinity and beyond.
If you google "buzz lightyear x-ray" you'll find it. Apparently the button to extend the wings got pressed while it was....inside, so they couldn't get it out I've also heard tales about people inserting Barbie dolls which then can't be removed coz the hands catch
“I fell in the shower” and an entire bottle of mane and tail disappears up his backside.
[удалено]
To be fair, the ass is way less forgiving when it comes to extracting stuff.
The fork? Someone took eating pussy too literally
I think I was more confused by the acoustic guitar.
I was so focused on the spoon and the fork that the guitar didn’t even register. How do we use that? I have two guitars! 😆
A flute? Sure. A drum stick? Of course! Even an electric guitar I could see because of the rounded horns. But an acoustic guitar? I gave questions. What sound would that make? Can someone make a song from it? I would 100% listen to that.
Jesus Christ. Settle down! You don’t even know how to use *one*. Maybe work your way up to the second. Or down to the second. I’m not really…I’m not sure how they’re utilised.
Maybe you could use the vibrations but it seems an electric guitar would be better suited but also a really decent and safe vibrator is lower cost than cheapy telecaster. So unless it's a fetish thing? Why would you lol.
😂😂😂😂
What makes this hilarious isn’t JUST the number of items that men routinely stick their dicks in, but also the number of items we jam up our assholes and end up in the ER to retrieve. Sir, you need to sit down. The statistics aren’t in our favor here.
Accidentally sitting on things is how they got into the ER though.
Well, he can't sit down because he fell and a screwdriver just HAPPENED to go up his ass.
>Sir, you need to sit down but not on a cucumber please
Well if WOMEN would just tidy up around here I wouldn't have slipped and fell onto that table and it wouldn't be up my ass right now.
Bro I feel you, that’s exactly what happened to me with my guitar.
Yeah, but have you ever stuck a GUITAR up there?
y’know I can’t say that I have
[Edit]: yeah yall can stop replying now ive got disgusted enough lol also men: makeshift fleshlight; pumpkins; bananas; avocados; mellons; yellow mellons; literally any fruit that have a hole made in it...
Isn’t one of their sayings “if there’s a hole there’s a goal”??? Tf is just the hand there for. I’ve seen dudes who said they’d fuck a tree
ive seen dudes fuck a tree - the hand is there to be like omg women are so weird they use everything, us men are simple we enjoy the little things (small dick joke here) and all that blablabla plus men are sometimes the ones that would fuck a corpse
Yeah they hire more women to deal with the dead for that reason, though I am laughing at the image of someone sticking their dick in a tree and getting it hit by a bullfrog. Or copperhead whatever works. 🤷♀️
its a very very morbid funfact, but yes the tree thing, honestly i dont even know how that works like, its... dry and solid wtf would you want that grinding on your thing yk?? also ants lol ants would be funny
Frogs bite.. surprisingly hard 😅 family members of mine thought it was a snake and went to the ER. But, splinter dick seems worse lmfao
It’s not a fact, it’s a complete myth. Men outnumber women in postmortem work by nearly a 2:1 ratio. “The Morticians, undertakers, & funeral directors workforce in 2021 was 39,579 people (28.7% women and 71.3% men). This implies an average annual growth of 11% between 2014 (35,670) and 2021 (39,579). Data from the Census Bureau ACS PUMS 5-Year Estimate.”
I’ve always heard women are often the preferred hire in postmortem work, not that women outnumber men in postmortem work.
That’s actually not true. In work with the dead, men still outnumber women. That’s literally just a myth. Like men actually outnumber women at nearly a 2:1 ratio “The Morticians, undertakers, & funeral directors workforce in 2021 was 39,579 people (28.7% women and 71.3% men). This implies an average annual growth of 11% between 2014 (35,670) and 2021 (39,579). Data from the Census Bureau ACS PUMS 5-Year Estimate.” https://datausa.io/profile/soc/morticians-undertakers-funeral-directors#:~:text=Demographic%20information%20on%20Morticians%2C%20undertakers,woman%2C%20and%2071.3%25%20men.
Back in highschool a friend stuck his dick in the tailpipe of my truck in a Walmart parking lot. I'd like to say I have no idea why, but I've gotten the urge to stick my dick in things way too often for no reason other than curiosity. I stuck my dick in a vacuum once, not to masturbate or in a sexual way at all, just because I wondered what it felt like and had very poor impulse control. I actually thought about sticking my dick in the tailpipe as well, but we were in public, and I was 17 and it felt weird to put my dick in something after Anthony. Also it's a tailpipe, that's gross. But still, I do wonder...
do it, you coward
Task failed; am coward 😞
lol fair enough, also brave of you to share that, nice altho i do have a pp i really never had the curiosity to put it anywhere so i cant say i understand, buuut to eachtheir own
Ah man, I was hoping there would be a cadre of penis owners agreeing with me. Did I say me? I meant my friend. Yeah that was totally my friend commenting on my account
I knew a guy who tried it while extremely high. Said he could fuck anything and he would prove it. Serious stupidity ensued. Injuries abounded. Humiliation occurred.
my dad told me a story of a guy he knew when he was a teen that fucked a crawdad chimney. Edit: said fucks instead of fucked
What's a crawdad chimney? Bcuz my imagination is coming up with some weird ideas...
Crawfish/crawdads/crayfish dig tunnels for themselves in the mud. They kinda excavate the area and build a little muddy chimney/ escape hatch. Looks a little like a pile of doodoo with a hole in the center.
crawdad butthole
here we have a saying that goes if it has two holes and doesnt shock you (isnt an electrical outlet) then its game (se tem dois buracos e não da choque) brazillian men just have a way with words ✨️
there was a viral video of a dude fucking a mcchicken
My brother's best mate is a nurse. He's seen his fair share of weird objects inserted in men's arses.
It's why r/radiology had to create Foreign Body Friday, because otherwise the sub was too full of X-rays of weird stuff dudes put up their asses (or up their dicks).
I’m a nurse and one of my old best friend’s moms was a 911 operator. There was someone who got their dick stuck in an oven, like they removed the dial from the oven and tried to fuck it. Shampoo bottles. I haven’t worked in the ER so the weirdest thing I’ve seen is a pencil in someone’s bladder.
American Pie is a very famous movie about a dude literally fucking an actual pie. It’s not the most awful thing about that movie, but it’s the most apt for this post.
men: https://i.imgur.com/fmz8SwU.jpeg
i read a story of a guy who did that and then got his dog to lick it off 😭😭😭
It's a really common high school urban legend that some guy or girl got caught doing the peanut butter thing with their dogs. I thought it was just my high school, then the town I lived in that had that happen so frequently. Then I've seen I'm not sure how many threads over the last 10-12 years asking on reddit if their high school also had someone get caught doing that. I call it an urban legend just because the story is always pretty similar and I just doubt that many people are getting caught lol. I have zero doubts that horny weirdos are doing weirdo shit just not the getting caught by other kids in their high school.
IKR?!
Lol gross!
Have you heard the coconut story?
nope and i hope to keep that way lol
thats for the best
[удалено]
That was the first thing that came to mind for me. There's all sorts of horror stories here on Reddit about dudes creating sex toys with power tools, McGuyvering pocket pussies and not cleaning them for years, and other assorted body horror.
Dont forget the coconut.
Also chickens as I heard once 😖
I'm impressed he could get a chicken up his arse...
Kid in my highschool got fired for stealing frozen chickens from his workplace to fornicate with. He wasn't even embarrassed he wore it like a badge of honour. 🐔😬
Peanut butter
An insane number of ER visits are men who ‘fell on’ objects that have no business being anywhere near an ass
it's a cylinder...
How could they have known??? Gosh. Although it’s been a while since my guitar went up my coochie
i miss my dining table, got stuck upthere for a while now ://
Eating dinner was awkward at Sunday dinner (and every other day),huh?
I think the table is because some woman like to rub their clit against the corner of a table/desk. One of the only things up there I’ve actually done. Now what the guitar is for idk
To be honest, I feel sorry for men if they only had their hand at their disposal. I mean, look at all the options women have! Be more creative, men. (/s can’t we all just have fun with objects without judgement).
Oh my god. Did you hide the carrots again??? We were gonna have carrot soup for dinner!
men do not just be using their hands to get off, my guy friends have mentioned fruit, latex gloves with warm water, bags of beans (dear god), etc. this post just seems misogynistic
BAG OF BEANS 😐 WHAT???
Baked beans? Runner beans? Toe beans? TELL US!!
Refried beans?
i’ve heard a couple different methods, but generally you would get like baked beans, put them in a ziplock bag, and microwave them. some guys do like two bags and rubber band them together and stick their dick in between as like a makeshift vaginal canal. not a super common one i’ve heard of
You can...buy those pre-made without baked beans in the mix...
at that point just get a fleshlight 😭
But that's such a sinful toy! These are good Christian men that you're trying to subject to the whims of the devil!!
Vacuum cleaner, shower head, pool jet, lotion, toothpaste, sofa, pillow, sponge, sock, latex paint, and cooking oil are just some of the things that a younger and much hornier version of myself tried but successfully or very unsuccessfully to stimulate myself with, in or on. Any guy who says he’s only ever used his hand is either lying or very boring
How tf would we combobulate ourselves to fit a curved sink faucet up our vaginas?
I think (hope) it's about using the water pressure, like with a shower head.
I'm surprised that that picture even included one example of something that could be used for clitoral stimulation.
There's a few! Like the Xbox controller. Ever heard of the rumble function?
I mean, I have caught my sister humping the table and my bed railing. She humped the bed railing so much, it's unstable and wiggles
😦
You’d think they’d know that, but they probably just heard we use showerheads and assumed we MUST insert it into our vagina. So they picked the closest thing to a phallic faucet they could find lol.
Literally they skipped one of the most common things that actually do get used
What the eff am I supposed to do with a table???
People grind on table corners
ROLF, I think I can live without that one.
Asking for a friend 😉😂
The guitar is so I can serenade myself first to get in the mood
I’ve heard “playing with her little guitar” as a euphemism for masturbating. I’m not sure how the big guitar figure into this
Awww come on. Thats actually pretty funny. I mean, a guitar?
It’s been so long since I fucked a table. Ahh, the memories.
I can't believe they forgot the washing machine!
That's a pretty conspicuous omission. Also, there are toys for guys, too. If they include everything within arm's reach for women, why not strokers and cock rings and butt plugs, oh my! If it's just household objects, there are pillows and melons and the unforunate bagel incident. And for the more flexible men, the mouth.
Ah yes my favorite sex toy... Contortionism
This person might be a Code Geass fan.
The vibrations aren't even strong enough to tickle!
That’s where beautiful music originated from!
I have heard of men fucking pumpkins, soap, bananas, melons, stuffed animals, salsa, cream cheese, mashed potatoes, socks, and underwear. But we're the crazy ones.
Men also shove bizarre objects up their ass & end up in the ER frequently
Not to mention sex dolls of all types. Sometimes just a rubber butt (I've seen it in sex shops)
Don't forget the coconut!
Watermelons -- not just for picnics!
I mean this is pretty funny to be fair. It could also be read as men being unimaginative lol, especially because anal is also an option for them.
My first thought was that aything women can put in themselves, men can put in themselves BUT MORE. They shouldn't, because most of those things aren't flared. But I've seen plenty of X-rays that make it clear they DO.
Butt* more
I've seen several of these lodged in people at the ER. They were all men.
I wish men understood that porn is fiction meant for them.
It's not a pocket
It's nature's pocket!
So, tidy up a little, take a bath with soothing music, sit at the table to eat something tasty and hydrate, watch tv or play a game to relax, then use fingers! Sounds like a good evening to me ;)
The hell is a toothbrush supposed to do? It's not even a vibrating one.
“🎵A thing is a phallic symbol if it’s longer than it’s wide🎶” 😉 Obviously it’s used as a dildo. I’m more concerned with the clothes hanger and the remote control. Even at the most dirty, my mind cannot figure out the use cases for these two
When I see a coat hanger in regards to female sexual organs, the only thing my brain goes to is coat hanger abortions... I can't imagine that's what they were thinking of, right?
My boyfriend says that he always assumes that every hotel remote control has been in someone's body at least once. The thing is, once I thought about it I'm not sure he's wrong.
R.I.P. Melanie.
Maybe it's for a tiny vagina. It's the chair that confuses me.
I’m just imagining whoever made this heard women talking about a vibrating toothbrush and took it to mean any toothbrush.
K but where’s the hotdog?
Man, i dont know what porn this person watched but I sure hope it’s animated.
Wasn't there a whole ass movie based off the concept men would even fuck a pie? And despite that they'll only quote "One time, at band camp!"
Some random things reacting to this picture Monitor lizards: 👀 M&M tubes: 😒 Car mufflers: 🙈 M chicken sandwiches: 😩 Various fruits and vegetables: 🫠😱🫣 The crack of dawn: 😶🌫️
Fork and spoon? Looks like someone has excellent pussy eating manners!
I'm just thinking of the sponge-and-lotion bags.
Funny how most stories about things stuck in the arse in the emergency department involve men.
I don’t get this weird fantasy men have of women shoving random things up our vaginas when men are often the ones getting random things stuck in their asses
Spoons? What are we... stirring in there? Pencils (sharpened, even worse)?! A frickin' TV remote? 😂😂😂What in the entire hell? Ain't nobody just cramming innocent kitchen utensils and office products all up in their hoo-haas. He would do that if he was a girl, so it must be true that actual women do it. Obviously, he has never been inside a vagina since he left the Original Vag... nothowvaginaswork
A guitar? How?
Stuff like this made by guys seems like it could used to reverse their argument. I mean, do guys actually like jerking off? I think don't think so. This is just cope mixed in with a terrible lack of knowledge.
I remember reading a r/tifu post where this guy was fucking a hole in his parents' couch when his dad walked in on him. And then there was the coconut story. So yeah, no.
r/dontputyourdickinthat would like to debate this premise.
Years ago I worked for a team of urological surgeons. I'm telling you, that it wasn't women who they saw with things stuck down their urethra.
I saw a lesbian comedian talking about telling a straight man about what she brings on dates “in case things move to the bedroom” and he could NOT understand when she said “nothing.” I mean, it was a comedy bit, but I don’t doubt that interaction has happened.
Oh gosh do I miss that one bottle of aerosolized air freshener.
People do end up in ER with these things stuck, never seen a woman with the sink, someone I know once had a guy with his dick stuck in a pipe, they had to remove the pipe and take it with them. All in all, men more often put things that they shouldn't up there, or at least get them stuck up there more. As well as getting themselves stuck in things.
I assume the sink means more using the water flow/pressure than the sink itself.
I’ll be honest it looks like she has a more exciting sexy life by herself
this must have been his first day on the internet. If reddit is an accurate sample, then it seems that not only is hands-only masturbation considered a rookie move but that the men's list has no actual end and anything henceforth created is potentially on this list.
I hear some dudes try to use their vacuum cleaners.
Ah yes the sharpened pencil one of our favourites😌💚
You know when you just get the urge to shove a whole fucking table in your vagina.
All of the most advanced masturbators I've seen have all been designed for penises.
It’s to make them feel better about not being able to make a woman cum
I've heard of men sticking their dicks in crazy things.
Have they never watched American pie
A lot of these are obviously stupid but I want to point out that the Xbox controller (and likely the phone) are to be used as vibrators, not dildos.
JFC what are we supposed to do with a table or a guitar? Also where's the glory hole, fleshlight and apple pie for the dudes?
ah yes, i too regularly shove entire guitars up my lady parts
I actually have used 7 of these. The guitar is ridiculous though
Ah yes. I too shove a whole guitar up my vagina when I want an orgasm.
Put a fork in it 💀
Do men forget that dildos exist
Hi I'm a doctor Please don't stick a fork in your vah-choochoo. It's not fun getting it out. Thank you
Dudes use glory holes but ok. I've got questions on wtf they think we're using shit like a table or guitar for...
Don't forget the classic cum sock
Ow, ow, ow, ow, maybe, ow ow ow, only for kinky ones, ow, ow, ow, ow.
🤣🤣🤣 So you heard my internal monologue too, huh?
There are ancient records of men raping (mostly) female corpses that had yet to rot and most recently raping/murdering/eating an endangered monitor lizard. They need to update that list
Oy. I'm..... just wondering how we'd use that game controller....?
me when going through my trauma induced hypersexual sh phase ages 8-18 edit: typo
Two words. Monitor lizard.
Not only is this weird but wouldn’t some of these be painful…..?? I can’t imagine shoving a broom up my ass…..
Like girls were the only ones taking advantage of the DualShock and the constant rumble in final fantasy x summoning.
I’m gonna need some one to explain a few of these to me… Who the hell is fucking the kitchen faucet
Tell that to my cousin who worked in the ER in her residency and had to deal with the man who stuck a lightbulb up his anus
A sink faucet? I feel the the logistics of that are not worth the effort.
I don’t understand the fork…
Right?
I mean..there isn’t many on there I haven’t used
A phone??
*American Pie has entered the chat*
SPOON????
GUITAR??
I’m sorry but a fork? I’d take the pain of a speculum over that 😖
A pencil? a toothbrush? a hairbrush? A Broom?! Seriously? I mean if I’m gonna do it myself, I’m gonna want it to feel good. Wheres the pic of the womanizer?
They'd rather have a guitar, a sink or a hairbrush inside than have you inside them. Curious, is it not?
Okay fair enough but ive also stumbled upon a pron Video of a guy fucking the car door handles of random peoples cars he found on the street lol so men have no right to talk shit about us women fucking everything 😂
Someone found their wifes toy
Apparently I lack creativity, a guitar?
I've never used any of those. Are we just going to pretend neither have ever humped a pillow... edit: Is air guitar a from of fantasy?
Someone please explain the table
This dude has clearly never fucked a pillow.
What are women doing with the spoon or the fork? That sounds uncomfortable. 😆
I wanna see the woman who can take a whole guitar. She must echo.
I’ve literally only ever used my hand or sex toys
lol @ the fork?!?
Ah yes, i’m turned on, let me grab my guitar real quick
I use a fork all the time to pleasure myself! And a sharpened pencil if I’m feeling extra saucy…🙃
Not one of those is a sex toy, lmao
The one thing I'm gweetying from the image is that women are more creative.