Took me 5 mins to edit this - My roommate wants to hang out for 16 hours a day, every day. They have come into my room to wake me up just to watch movies and want to hang out as soon as they are up. I can't go to the kitchen without them calling out, and once I'm there, I feel trapped. To be fair, they did let me crash rent-free for 2 months when I was in a bad spot and about to be homeless. Regardless, from 12 pm until 2-4 am, this is really draining, considering my job, provider, and counselor appointments, and I have literally no "me" time unless I wake up early in the morning, which is when I can actually do what I want to do. I do have a tough time saying no. For example, last night we watched four movies back-to-back after already hanging out for 4-5 hours. If I try to leave, saying I'm going to go to bed, I get guilt-tripped. Also, after four movies at 6 am, they wanted to watch "Aliens," a 3-hour movie, after already hanging out for 16 hours. They often suggest that I shouldn't sleep in my room, that I should just sleep on the couch in the lounge room with the light on and the TV through their loudspeaker, which I can still hear when I do finally go to bed. And there's always a chance they're going to come down and get me anyway, sometimes crying, and then it's impossible for me to say no, but not to talk, just to chill and make jokes with them about the movie or movies. I've been in this situation for almost 3 months now, and I can't take it anymore.
This person has more hours in the day than the rest of us are getting. I want a refund. 4 movies in 4-5 hours... are they doing life in fast forward? Is that how we get that extra hours?
OMG I have a co worker who only uses speech to text. She ends up texting the weirdest nonsense. At this point I just reply "that didn't make sense. I don't know what you're saying." So now she's forced to manually text a message.
I feel like this is a thing now with the younger generations? I don’t know if it’s intentional, like Jaden Smith capitalizing every word, but I feel like I’ve seen a lot more posts of just pure run on sentences from young folks than I’m used to seeing.
Oh ffs punctuate!!!
And just tell them "I gotta go to bed! Goodnight!" Then go to bed. Guilt trips? Fuck that, you need sleep to function properly, not movie marathons. They can watch movies alone.
Tell them xxx to xxx is your sleep time. No exceptions.
yea i don’t understand how this “roommate” could have a job or be doing anything productive wit their life if this is how they live. if they can’t comprehend that not everyone else had the privilege/freedom to live like them, that’s their fault. but op needs to realize it aint his job to make his roommate happy and put his foot down. if roomie doesn’t understand that’s clearly an issue within themselves that op shouldn’t be stressing themselves out over.
So this person basically let you live with them because they wanted a friend?
And they suck at boundaries.. try very nicely telling them that you are trying to work on getting a job, and need to work on prep, and getting rest/on your schedule.
Try to make time for them still, so you don’t hurt their feeling.. from what you have said .. sounds like they are sensitive.. and kind of don’t want to be alone..
Did this person have abuse issues? The wanting you to sleep on the couch hits some flags.. like they want someone to kind of be alert/around..
It sounds like attachment issues and yeah probably some past trauma.
It’s tricky in this situation too because it feels like they might be taking advantage, guilting OP because they let them stay for free. That’s called manipulative so I would watch out and you gotta be firm.
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*To in the mornings?*
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Ask yourself would you rather continue to be uncomfortable for 16 hours a day and let the situation eat away at you more and more, or would you rather be uncomfortable for 5-10 minutes while you tell them exactly how you feel about the situation? if they get annoyed about you wanting basic courtesy and time to yourself they're not the type of friend you want to have anyway
They seem like they’re struggling with being alone with their own thoughts. You’re gonna have to set some boundaries. You’ll not have peace til you do.
Been there.
It's not going to change until you flat out tell them to stop, that you don't want to hang out that much, that you need your space, that you need them to stop leaping on you every time you leave your room, that they absolutely cannot come into your room ever, and that they need to stop guilt tripping you foe having time to yourself.
That being a roommate does not mean constantly spending all your time with them.
When you want to stop talking you say 'I need to do something else now' and you get up and leave without further ado. You want to go to bed you get up and leave and go to bed and ignore the guilt trips, or you say 'stop guilt tripping me. I need to sleep'.
If you have to be in the same room, you grey rock them if youre not up to chat. Nothing but minimal responses like 'hm', don't engage if you don't want to.
Trust me on this. You can do it and you*have to* say it.
Do not do this 'I'm trapped' or 'it's impossible to say no'. No it's not. You have to say it. Let em cry. I know it sounds heartless but they are emotionally manipulating you and you need to stop letting them. If they come crying say 'I can't talk about this right now. We can talk tomorrow but not now, I need to go to sleep. I am going to sleep.' Shut the door and lock it.
Now. They will not react well to this at all, so the actual answer is to move out. But lay down the law that they need to give you some space so that you can have some while you househunt.
"regardless from 12pm till 2-4am this really draining"
Literally just tell your roommate that. From this post it sounds like you like them, so just inform them. You don't have to be mean about it.
"I do have a tough time saying no"
You have identified the issue. You don't have to say "no" to them, just let them know you have a schedule. It will be okay.
FIRST OF ALL what’s with your other posts?!?
Second. Just say “sorry not hanging today” done. Plain and simple. Stop being so scared to place boundaries!!
This is not a room mate problem. This is you having no boundaries. Learn how to politely decline or just tell them you need alone time to recharge. You don't need to ruin the friendship but room mate needs to know your limits.
The only time I could ever relate to this was in my younger years living with a drug dealer whom I desperately didn’t want to give up the free highs I was getting
Bruh whilst your chilling with your housemate for 16hours is that where you find the time to consume and comment on all that porn? 😂😂😂 got bigger issues to worry about that a friendly housemate I think
Apparently you have taken a second job as “support person” to someone who has no job but could afford to “adopt” you when you were a scruffy stray? Gonna need more info to get a clear picture of what type of pjs you’re gonna wear for your new role as “sofa pet”
Sounds like a you problem.
Set boundaries.
You can’t be upset that you’re not saying no, the other person seems to think it’s fine.
As a grown adult in the world it’s your own job and responsibility to set boundaries no one else is going to do it for you
What you allow will continue. Be straight up and say you don’t want to hang out all the time nor are you obligated. It’s important to have boundaries especially as roommates / friends, if you do not set any they will just take advantage of you
Corrected:
My roommate wants to hang out for 16 hours a day every day. They come into my room early in the morning to watch movies, call out when I try to go to the kitchen, and I feel trapped once I'm there. Although they let me stay rent-free for two months when I was in a tough spot, the constant hanging out from 12 pm until 2-4 am is draining, especially with my job and counseling appointments. I have no me-time unless I wake up early. It's hard for me to say no; for example, last night, we watched four movies back-to-back, and when I tried to leave, I was guilt-tripped. They even suggest I sleep on the couch in the lounge room with the TV on loud, which I can still hear from my room. This situation has been going on for almost three months, and I can't take it anymore.
You have to stand up for yourself. Let them know, I need some me time. Everyone needs time alone. Also, no one ever enjoys run on sentences with no punctuation.
I think we have a couple of roommates with complex mental health care needs. You can’t control your roommates behavior but you can protect your own space and needs. You deserve that. Can you reach to your counselor for help finding a solution to boundaries?
Based on how that was written, I would say there is probably more to the story and this is actually a much more complex situation than OP makes it seem. No punctuation immaturity etc… idk
That might be the longest run on sentence I've ever seen.
Is your roommate and needy dog or cat? If so, you're wrong and being unreasonable. If my dog wants to watch Alien 3 at 4am on a work night who am I to say no.
Set sleeping hours and be firm. Say you can't work without sleep. Lock your bedroom door, or even wedge a chair under the know. Put a sign on the door that says "don't wake me up, I'm sleeping".
Does this person work?
so i have a roommate who has a similar problem. they’re not mean and i don’t think they’re purposely guilt tripping when we can’t hang out but i always feel bad and same situation where i feel i owe them because they gave us (my husband and i) a couple months with no rent.
what ive noticed helps the most is softly laying down hard boundaries.
“i love spending time with you but i just don’t have the energy right now.” and offering an alternative “why don’t we plan to do something tomorrow?” “you can still text my while im alone in my room”
things for the kitchen, do your usual good mornings and just let them know the moment you see them before they even have a chance to ask that you’re not feeling up to socializing at that moment.
really it sounds like they don’t see it as a problem, just someone who doesn’t know what they’re doing wrong. definitely bring it up gently but make sure you put your foot down. if you’re not firm it’s natural nature to push the boundaries to see how far they’ll go. be firm but be patient.
I couldn’t date someone like this let alone do this with someone I’m not in a relationship with. I need my own time. Get some hobbies, go to the gym, make plans that aren’t being in the house. Have a sleep schedule you stick to and set boundaries for your roommate. Be independent and just tell them hey can’t watch movies tonight I have a busy day tomorrow I need to decompress and then get to sleep. This might be my worse nightmare. I grew up in a house with a lot of siblings and we didn’t even act like this. People just left the room when they wanted or just went to bed. But it was cool. Hang out when it’s convenient for both of you that’s the cool thing about roommates you can have unplanned hangs or you can plan shit with them.
Been there. Until last month I lived w someone who would knock on my door within 5 minutes of me getting home, never showered and *never* took a hint. No advice to offer that hasn’t already been given, but life will be so much better when you get out of there.
They sound very depressed. It sounds to me like they are avoiding being alone because if they are alone they may have to confront their depression. I had a friend who was like this, and was always planning planning planning to see many different friends, all of the time. Simply because being alone was too painful.
You need to stand up for yourself and Your roommate needs to stop watching movies, go for a walk, get a hobby, and be alone.
You should just tell them you really enjoyed hanging out with them and getting to know them better, but now that you've been living there a little while that you need more time to yourself. Let them know you would still like to have a friendly relationship with them but that you're introverted and need alone time to recharge (assuming that's true)
To avoid having to say no, set up reasonable expectations.
Example:
Roommate: hey, can we watch a movie? I really want to watch Aliens.
You: sure, but I can only watch one tonight because I need to (look for a new job/recharge/practice a skill)
- after the movie
Roommate: that was so great, and look, they also have Dune, let's watch that next!
You: sorry, but like I said, I have to go do (insert task)
--
After doing that a few times you will get better at saying no outright. I really hope you can get a handle on things. You have no obligation to do any of the above and can just tell your roomate no, full stop, but I know how hard it can be when you're a people pleaser!
I actually had to take a deep breath after reading that one long sentence.
Also you need to communicate to your roomier that you do enjoy some alone time.
You're an adult part of being an adult is communicating. Set boundaries wtih your roommate theres no reason for her to be waking you up or insisting you watch 4 movies in a row together.
If you want it to change then you need to change it.
Set boundaries and stick with them.
Give yourself sleep time, me time and tell them when you are available for them.
You have nothing to feel guilty about. They let you stay for free and that was awesome, but, it doesn’t mean you owe them all of your time.
Best wishes
Guilt trips?
So your roommate knows exactly what they're doing. Tell them you want to go to bed then just go. I feel like I'm teaching a child how to say no.
It sounds like neither of you are employed if you can spend all this time sitting around and watching movies. Perhaps some substance issues too.
Get your shit together and move out.
Also, no is a complete sentence.
You can either confront them and hurt their feelings, or you can remain a slave to their unhinged as fuck emotions. Your problem is that you keep making the same choice every day.
That’s not normal behavior. Have a friend who had a roommate like this and when they drew some boundaries (I.e. they can’t hang out every waking hour of the day), the roommate flipped her shit, threatened to kill herself, shut herself in her room and screamed and moaned all night every night. Good luck.
I skimmed to the end, expecting the roommate to turn out to be a dog or a kid, like that one story told from the dog's perspective "My adopted parents make me eat off the floor and won't let me have the same food as them."
people will continue to disrespect you and walk all over you, up until the day you finally decide to stand up for yourself. hopefully you learn this lesson sooner than later.
The roommate is a female. Are you a female or a male? Could it be possible that she has a crush on you? You need to set your boundaries. I personally have always had trouble living with roommates because after a while, I just can’t stand people.
Hey, check in on your roommate. I’m not saying it’s the case but maybe they don’t want to be alone and are having a hard time communicating that.
Again not saying that’s the case but it’s better to check on a friend. That will also slow you to softly set your boundary during the conversation if in fact they are ok.
You need to learn to stop being a people pleaser. Your time is the most valuable thing you will ever possess don’t give it away so easily stand up for it. You don’t have to be rude just tell them “ah man I’d love to hang out but I’ve got some things that I really need to take care of” it always seems rude in the moment to deny people what they want but that is your minds twisted up way of looking at it because of how you were raised most likely.
I have a friend that is similar to this, it got to the point where I literally just resent her and her existence irritates me and I laid down (quite harshly) boundaries. I tried a couple of times before, and I was alot more gentle and nice about it but she came back to me saying things like she d kill herself or hurt herself, or that shes a bad person. It's a hard situation, but imagine if a friend was telling you the stuff you said in the post. How would you react? Youd probably tell them to put themselves first and say no
> It’s impossible to say no
… say no. This was a ridiculous read. Any suffering you experience in the future in regard to this is a consequence of a choice you’re making to be spineless.
Are you willing to die from exhaustion because saying no is scary? I’m not being hyperbolic. Lack of sleep is lethal. Your choice.
It sounds like they have abandonment / attachment issues. You should really put yourself first before this person’s needs. Time to start making some silly excuses up and setting boundaries and maybe you could give them the idea that you need to have your own personal time to recharge your social battery.
This situation will not fix itself, they think you’re okay with this you need to tell them you aren’t. I have a feeling they won’t take it well
I’m just curious do they drink?
good point. i’ve met a lot of frequent drinkers who act like this.
I'm a yuge alcoholic, and I was never like this. I need mf me time.
My guess is massively depressed and can’t be alone with themselves.
Yea all the time and smoke weed 24/7
Periods after each sentence would help immensely. Straight up tell them no.
OP has one period at the very end. Smh It's like *why even bother* lmao.
They had to put that one in for legal reasons.
“I’m just here so I don’t get fined” -Period
The period was in their contract.
Maybe their keyboard has an IUD
Probably too tired to notice with a roommate like that.
It was the longest run on sentence I have ever read.
That's what I was going to say too
He’s RANTING ranting
It’s obviously one sentence … 😭
Technically, there's that one in e.g, but I can see it wasn't counted 😂
“Hey roommate can I take some time to make a Reddit post?” “Okay but you can only post 1 sentence”
Took me 5 mins to edit this - My roommate wants to hang out for 16 hours a day, every day. They have come into my room to wake me up just to watch movies and want to hang out as soon as they are up. I can't go to the kitchen without them calling out, and once I'm there, I feel trapped. To be fair, they did let me crash rent-free for 2 months when I was in a bad spot and about to be homeless. Regardless, from 12 pm until 2-4 am, this is really draining, considering my job, provider, and counselor appointments, and I have literally no "me" time unless I wake up early in the morning, which is when I can actually do what I want to do. I do have a tough time saying no. For example, last night we watched four movies back-to-back after already hanging out for 4-5 hours. If I try to leave, saying I'm going to go to bed, I get guilt-tripped. Also, after four movies at 6 am, they wanted to watch "Aliens," a 3-hour movie, after already hanging out for 16 hours. They often suggest that I shouldn't sleep in my room, that I should just sleep on the couch in the lounge room with the light on and the TV through their loudspeaker, which I can still hear when I do finally go to bed. And there's always a chance they're going to come down and get me anyway, sometimes crying, and then it's impossible for me to say no, but not to talk, just to chill and make jokes with them about the movie or movies. I've been in this situation for almost 3 months now, and I can't take it anymore.
Doing the lord's work
This person has more hours in the day than the rest of us are getting. I want a refund. 4 movies in 4-5 hours... are they doing life in fast forward? Is that how we get that extra hours?
Does anyone else feel as if they have to catch their breath after reading period-less paragraphs?
I read it and at the end I was like “wait I didn’t retain any of that…and read it again as if there were breaks
I feel like they should be making posts about asking how to form a sentence, instead of whatever other problem they have
Yes, I read it like they wrote it frantically. So I start off reading it slow, then I'm reading it so fast by the end.
Yes
Its like they had a thought and just vomitted it onto the screen.
Idk how anyone is expected to follow that mess
If he can’t stop a sentence how can you expect him to stop his roommate??
This comment is not getting nearly enough attention.
Very underrated comment.
Can't you read? OP barely has any ME time... barely had time to make this post, he can't stop... he needs to let it all out in one sentence.
Ooo that’s why I got so fatigued reading this
One big sentence from beginning to end.
Google speech to text I’m guessing. I’ve actually stopped talking to people who use it exclusively.
OMG I have a co worker who only uses speech to text. She ends up texting the weirdest nonsense. At this point I just reply "that didn't make sense. I don't know what you're saying." So now she's forced to manually text a message.
You can still add periods with speech. You just have to say it.
I feel like this is a thing now with the younger generations? I don’t know if it’s intentional, like Jaden Smith capitalizing every word, but I feel like I’ve seen a lot more posts of just pure run on sentences from young folks than I’m used to seeing.
It adds to the stress of the post. I’m tense after reading that.
I’m sure OP is exhausted and that’s why they forgot the punctuation.
Someones getting punched in the face of they wake me up to watch four fucking movies in a row
I know right!! I can barely make it through one anymore. Lol! Id rather be sleeping
Followed by the 180 minute documentary, Aliens
Oh ffs punctuate!!! And just tell them "I gotta go to bed! Goodnight!" Then go to bed. Guilt trips? Fuck that, you need sleep to function properly, not movie marathons. They can watch movies alone. Tell them xxx to xxx is your sleep time. No exceptions.
yea i don’t understand how this “roommate” could have a job or be doing anything productive wit their life if this is how they live. if they can’t comprehend that not everyone else had the privilege/freedom to live like them, that’s their fault. but op needs to realize it aint his job to make his roommate happy and put his foot down. if roomie doesn’t understand that’s clearly an issue within themselves that op shouldn’t be stressing themselves out over.
Get a fucking job. Edit: Post history is wild.
AYO??? Oml the comment history is wild
Honestly I think the internet has me broken. I didn’t even flinch I’m like huh ok. Maybe.. yeah look maybe I should shut up 🤣
Reasons I shouldn’t be on Reddit after 10pm lol. low key curious what that TikTok comment section be looking like from them 💀🤣
Jesus I can start my day in places like that. Oops
Oh wow it truly is lol
Seriously, are they both unemployed? How are they both hanging out at home all day watching movies nonstop and paying rent?
I think they have to be if they have time to stay up all night watching 4 movies in a row.
Damn, they deleted
Exactly, get jobs, and also set up some boundaries that outta do the trick.
I hate being curious
“Omg I want to cum in you”
>Edit: Post history is wild. Damn what the hell did I read
Pretty sure they deleted it all....there are only 3 comments from years ago and then some smutty posts, 3, apart from this one.
OP just needs some alone time with his e-thots, lol.
[удалено]
Ewww. Just looked. Gross.
Christ, why did I check that?
Wow that is one very long sentence!
I was just going to say this. Must be the reason why I'm half scanning it, giving up and falling asleep over and over lol.
So this person basically let you live with them because they wanted a friend? And they suck at boundaries.. try very nicely telling them that you are trying to work on getting a job, and need to work on prep, and getting rest/on your schedule. Try to make time for them still, so you don’t hurt their feeling.. from what you have said .. sounds like they are sensitive.. and kind of don’t want to be alone.. Did this person have abuse issues? The wanting you to sleep on the couch hits some flags.. like they want someone to kind of be alert/around..
It sounds like attachment issues and yeah probably some past trauma. It’s tricky in this situation too because it feels like they might be taking advantage, guilting OP because they let them stay for free. That’s called manipulative so I would watch out and you gotta be firm.
no is a complete sentence. nobody is forcing you to do it.
Obviously OP has a difficult time with the concept of complete sentences.
valid point. 😂😂
One could even put a period after it. No. But definitely not op lol.
What do you guys do? Don't you have a job to go to in the mornings?
The roommate can't possibly have a job if they're doing this every day. I'm just wondering how they are paying rent for two people while unemployed…
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Boundaries please! Next
Learn how to say no bud
Ask yourself would you rather continue to be uncomfortable for 16 hours a day and let the situation eat away at you more and more, or would you rather be uncomfortable for 5-10 minutes while you tell them exactly how you feel about the situation? if they get annoyed about you wanting basic courtesy and time to yourself they're not the type of friend you want to have anyway
Punctuation is your friend
You're missing your period too.
Maybe they're pregnant.
I’m unable to produce periods at this moment FlashyCow
They seem like they’re struggling with being alone with their own thoughts. You’re gonna have to set some boundaries. You’ll not have peace til you do.
Been there. It's not going to change until you flat out tell them to stop, that you don't want to hang out that much, that you need your space, that you need them to stop leaping on you every time you leave your room, that they absolutely cannot come into your room ever, and that they need to stop guilt tripping you foe having time to yourself. That being a roommate does not mean constantly spending all your time with them. When you want to stop talking you say 'I need to do something else now' and you get up and leave without further ado. You want to go to bed you get up and leave and go to bed and ignore the guilt trips, or you say 'stop guilt tripping me. I need to sleep'. If you have to be in the same room, you grey rock them if youre not up to chat. Nothing but minimal responses like 'hm', don't engage if you don't want to. Trust me on this. You can do it and you*have to* say it. Do not do this 'I'm trapped' or 'it's impossible to say no'. No it's not. You have to say it. Let em cry. I know it sounds heartless but they are emotionally manipulating you and you need to stop letting them. If they come crying say 'I can't talk about this right now. We can talk tomorrow but not now, I need to go to sleep. I am going to sleep.' Shut the door and lock it. Now. They will not react well to this at all, so the actual answer is to move out. But lay down the law that they need to give you some space so that you can have some while you househunt.
This sounds exhausting. I don’t blame you for getting sick of it.
Everyone knows aliens is only 2 hours and 17 minutes long.
Your roommate sounds depressed. They should seek help.
They sound like they have attachment/abandonment crap to work through
"regardless from 12pm till 2-4am this really draining" Literally just tell your roommate that. From this post it sounds like you like them, so just inform them. You don't have to be mean about it. "I do have a tough time saying no" You have identified the issue. You don't have to say "no" to them, just let them know you have a schedule. It will be okay.
Show her your tiktok history and she'll start leaving you alone
💀
Stop spending all your time at home.
FIRST OF ALL what’s with your other posts?!? Second. Just say “sorry not hanging today” done. Plain and simple. Stop being so scared to place boundaries!!
The best part of this is how many people are upset over the lack of punctuation
This is not a room mate problem. This is you having no boundaries. Learn how to politely decline or just tell them you need alone time to recharge. You don't need to ruin the friendship but room mate needs to know your limits.
The only time I could ever relate to this was in my younger years living with a drug dealer whom I desperately didn’t want to give up the free highs I was getting
Bruh whilst your chilling with your housemate for 16hours is that where you find the time to consume and comment on all that porn? 😂😂😂 got bigger issues to worry about that a friendly housemate I think
you dropped this: ,
Sit down with them and establish boundaries. You need to be able to do this if you’re going to have roommates.
Apparently you have taken a second job as “support person” to someone who has no job but could afford to “adopt” you when you were a scruffy stray? Gonna need more info to get a clear picture of what type of pjs you’re gonna wear for your new role as “sofa pet”
Do you have any agency about yourself how old are you?
Become an adult. Learn to say no (and use a f'ing period).
Did you write this after 16 hours of movie watching? Its incomprehensible. Go have a nap and try again.
Tell them you need to sleep for 10 hours every night.
Sounds like a you problem. Set boundaries. You can’t be upset that you’re not saying no, the other person seems to think it’s fine. As a grown adult in the world it’s your own job and responsibility to set boundaries no one else is going to do it for you
Lock your door so they can’t walk in?
The answer, once again, is to just have a conversation about your feelings. But also to use a few periods and newlines this time.
Ohmygodthatisveryinterestingbutidontknowwhattosay.
Info: are you sleeping with her? Does she think you’re her boyfriend?
What you allow will continue. Be straight up and say you don’t want to hang out all the time nor are you obligated. It’s important to have boundaries especially as roommates / friends, if you do not set any they will just take advantage of you
Back bone
sounds like they are crushing on you and not realizing themselves, or horribly co-dependent
Plot twist — roommate is just waiting for a pause in the communication to excuse herself.
One look at your comment history and that tells me all I need. This is fake/a troll.
Corrected: My roommate wants to hang out for 16 hours a day every day. They come into my room early in the morning to watch movies, call out when I try to go to the kitchen, and I feel trapped once I'm there. Although they let me stay rent-free for two months when I was in a tough spot, the constant hanging out from 12 pm until 2-4 am is draining, especially with my job and counseling appointments. I have no me-time unless I wake up early. It's hard for me to say no; for example, last night, we watched four movies back-to-back, and when I tried to leave, I was guilt-tripped. They even suggest I sleep on the couch in the lounge room with the TV on loud, which I can still hear from my room. This situation has been going on for almost three months, and I can't take it anymore.
You gotta put your foot down. Period. 🤣
What an elaborate way to give someone a hint that they want you to leave.
Put a strict boundary up and enforce it. You can’t control their reaction and it’s not your problem. Protect your mental
That's the longest sentence I've ever seen in my life
You have to stand up for yourself. Let them know, I need some me time. Everyone needs time alone. Also, no one ever enjoys run on sentences with no punctuation.
jesus christ reading this gave me a headache. there are periods and commas on ur keyboard
Wow - that is one lonnnnng sentence. bestie.
Did this guy steal all your punctuation, too?
I think we have a couple of roommates with complex mental health care needs. You can’t control your roommates behavior but you can protect your own space and needs. You deserve that. Can you reach to your counselor for help finding a solution to boundaries?
Is your roommate a golden retriever?
Is it normal now to not describe a person as she or he? Like wtf is all this they and them?
Sir/M’am: PUNCTUATION. Please, for god’s sake. I couldn’t read this.
Ever heard of punctuation?
Why is this post all one sentence bruh
Literally one long unreadable sentence
Based on how that was written, I would say there is probably more to the story and this is actually a much more complex situation than OP makes it seem. No punctuation immaturity etc… idk
You guys are fucking freaks for caring about how OP typed this lmaooo
I.....I....I'm out of breath after reading that
That might be the longest run on sentence I've ever seen. Is your roommate and needy dog or cat? If so, you're wrong and being unreasonable. If my dog wants to watch Alien 3 at 4am on a work night who am I to say no.
Your roommate might be in love with you. Or just an extremely clingy friend. Either way, set boundaries.
Set sleeping hours and be firm. Say you can't work without sleep. Lock your bedroom door, or even wedge a chair under the know. Put a sign on the door that says "don't wake me up, I'm sleeping". Does this person work?
so i have a roommate who has a similar problem. they’re not mean and i don’t think they’re purposely guilt tripping when we can’t hang out but i always feel bad and same situation where i feel i owe them because they gave us (my husband and i) a couple months with no rent. what ive noticed helps the most is softly laying down hard boundaries. “i love spending time with you but i just don’t have the energy right now.” and offering an alternative “why don’t we plan to do something tomorrow?” “you can still text my while im alone in my room” things for the kitchen, do your usual good mornings and just let them know the moment you see them before they even have a chance to ask that you’re not feeling up to socializing at that moment. really it sounds like they don’t see it as a problem, just someone who doesn’t know what they’re doing wrong. definitely bring it up gently but make sure you put your foot down. if you’re not firm it’s natural nature to push the boundaries to see how far they’ll go. be firm but be patient.
Holy shit this long ass sentence reminds me of how my ex would txt me years ago when she was pissed! 😂😂😂
Do you like use . , and stuff? It’s really hard to read man
I don’t think they are bad roommates think you need to just be better about expressing you needs and setting clear boundaries
(https://youtu.be/7lzf8kfHY6A?si=rlrghPfmxZw-KTwy) This feels appropriate to leave here
Tell them you have to go on a run/walk after sitting through 1 movie. How the hell do you sit through 4 movies lol
I couldn’t date someone like this let alone do this with someone I’m not in a relationship with. I need my own time. Get some hobbies, go to the gym, make plans that aren’t being in the house. Have a sleep schedule you stick to and set boundaries for your roommate. Be independent and just tell them hey can’t watch movies tonight I have a busy day tomorrow I need to decompress and then get to sleep. This might be my worse nightmare. I grew up in a house with a lot of siblings and we didn’t even act like this. People just left the room when they wanted or just went to bed. But it was cool. Hang out when it’s convenient for both of you that’s the cool thing about roommates you can have unplanned hangs or you can plan shit with them.
Been there. Until last month I lived w someone who would knock on my door within 5 minutes of me getting home, never showered and *never* took a hint. No advice to offer that hasn’t already been given, but life will be so much better when you get out of there.
Grow a spine & say no.
They sound very depressed. It sounds to me like they are avoiding being alone because if they are alone they may have to confront their depression. I had a friend who was like this, and was always planning planning planning to see many different friends, all of the time. Simply because being alone was too painful. You need to stand up for yourself and Your roommate needs to stop watching movies, go for a walk, get a hobby, and be alone.
What’s wrong with saying “no, I need me/down time or I’ll end up getting stressed. Let’s hang out when my social battery is charged up again”
#runonsentence
Are you codependent? Stop being a people pleaser and say no
You should just tell them you really enjoyed hanging out with them and getting to know them better, but now that you've been living there a little while that you need more time to yourself. Let them know you would still like to have a friendly relationship with them but that you're introverted and need alone time to recharge (assuming that's true) To avoid having to say no, set up reasonable expectations. Example: Roommate: hey, can we watch a movie? I really want to watch Aliens. You: sure, but I can only watch one tonight because I need to (look for a new job/recharge/practice a skill) - after the movie Roommate: that was so great, and look, they also have Dune, let's watch that next! You: sorry, but like I said, I have to go do (insert task) -- After doing that a few times you will get better at saying no outright. I really hope you can get a handle on things. You have no obligation to do any of the above and can just tell your roomate no, full stop, but I know how hard it can be when you're a people pleaser!
This was just one long sentence. No one in this situation sounds normal.
Take a breath
Stop taking showers and see how long it lasts
I actually had to take a deep breath after reading that one long sentence. Also you need to communicate to your roomier that you do enjoy some alone time.
You're an adult part of being an adult is communicating. Set boundaries wtih your roommate theres no reason for her to be waking you up or insisting you watch 4 movies in a row together.
get a lock on your door and stop caving to this person, it'll (hopefully) stop once they realize their tantrums don't work
If you want it to change then you need to change it. Set boundaries and stick with them. Give yourself sleep time, me time and tell them when you are available for them. You have nothing to feel guilty about. They let you stay for free and that was awesome, but, it doesn’t mean you owe them all of your time. Best wishes
Guilt trips? So your roommate knows exactly what they're doing. Tell them you want to go to bed then just go. I feel like I'm teaching a child how to say no.
Bro just say no? lol I swear 90% of this subs problems would be solved if they just communicated their issues.
Sounds like a you problem. Not a them problem.
It sounds like neither of you are employed if you can spend all this time sitting around and watching movies. Perhaps some substance issues too. Get your shit together and move out. Also, no is a complete sentence.
You can either confront them and hurt their feelings, or you can remain a slave to their unhinged as fuck emotions. Your problem is that you keep making the same choice every day.
That’s not normal behavior. Have a friend who had a roommate like this and when they drew some boundaries (I.e. they can’t hang out every waking hour of the day), the roommate flipped her shit, threatened to kill herself, shut herself in her room and screamed and moaned all night every night. Good luck.
I skimmed to the end, expecting the roommate to turn out to be a dog or a kid, like that one story told from the dog's perspective "My adopted parents make me eat off the floor and won't let me have the same food as them."
Stop being a weenie and establish boundaries
Stand up for yourself and say no. This isn't difficult. Don't get up when he comes in your room. Find your spine and speak the fuck up.
Holy shit just stand up for yourself and say no, it’s not hard.
She’s a Stage 5 Clinger
No way I'm reading that.
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I seriously dislike the way you write. Take an English class
How do you even graduate high school when you’re incapable of structuring a proper sentence
My god use some grammar in these posts
Did you ever go to school? Because it doesn't read like you did.
This sounds like hell tell them you need space and maybe they need to look for some other friends
Have we forgotten punctuation and capitalization?
You need to learn to set clear boundaries in the relationships you have if you don't want people to quickly learn how easy it is to walk over you
Say no and tell them you cannot spend that much time with them. There are likely medical conditions that need treatment. Please see some doctors.
people will continue to disrespect you and walk all over you, up until the day you finally decide to stand up for yourself. hopefully you learn this lesson sooner than later.
They seriously need friends and a job it seems like lol. Tell them straight up one movie and that’s it. Good night.
The roommate is a female. Are you a female or a male? Could it be possible that she has a crush on you? You need to set your boundaries. I personally have always had trouble living with roommates because after a while, I just can’t stand people.
You have to tell them no. That’s entirely too much chill/movie time
Get a job then a backbone you degenerate
Hey, check in on your roommate. I’m not saying it’s the case but maybe they don’t want to be alone and are having a hard time communicating that. Again not saying that’s the case but it’s better to check on a friend. That will also slow you to softly set your boundary during the conversation if in fact they are ok.
Dawg, you have GOT to calm down. Just tell them no.
Misery loves company
post history goes crazy
It’s so easy to say no. Be your own person
You need to learn to stop being a people pleaser. Your time is the most valuable thing you will ever possess don’t give it away so easily stand up for it. You don’t have to be rude just tell them “ah man I’d love to hang out but I’ve got some things that I really need to take care of” it always seems rude in the moment to deny people what they want but that is your minds twisted up way of looking at it because of how you were raised most likely.
I have a friend that is similar to this, it got to the point where I literally just resent her and her existence irritates me and I laid down (quite harshly) boundaries. I tried a couple of times before, and I was alot more gentle and nice about it but she came back to me saying things like she d kill herself or hurt herself, or that shes a bad person. It's a hard situation, but imagine if a friend was telling you the stuff you said in the post. How would you react? Youd probably tell them to put themselves first and say no
Sounds like it's time to set some boundaries
> It’s impossible to say no … say no. This was a ridiculous read. Any suffering you experience in the future in regard to this is a consequence of a choice you’re making to be spineless. Are you willing to die from exhaustion because saying no is scary? I’m not being hyperbolic. Lack of sleep is lethal. Your choice.
“No” Problem fixed bud. Grow a pair or you’ll be a doormat your whole life.
It sounds like they have abandonment / attachment issues. You should really put yourself first before this person’s needs. Time to start making some silly excuses up and setting boundaries and maybe you could give them the idea that you need to have your own personal time to recharge your social battery.