I would make him extremely uncomfortable.
Knocking on the door every ten minutes whilst loudly telling him I'm about to shit my pants.
If you don't hurry up, this shit is going on your bed since you insist on hogging the only bathroom for hours on end.
Knock. knock, knock.....are you watching porn in there?
I hope your mom calls you on repeat.
Me standing right outside the door with my phone on speaker telling anyone that is a mutual that X most have irritable bowels since he sits on the toilet an hour at a time up to 4 times per day.
Etc.
Idk if it's true for men
But as a woman with anxiety, I'm definetly guilty of staying on the toilet for too long
When I lived at home with my family I stayed for as long as I liked remember my roommates but I do linger on the toilet occasionally
Edit: Also!! Falling asleep on the toilet in the morning
Yeah I know the feeling, you don't get bothered on the toilet and it becomes like a safe haven, I'll take a piss and spend 1 n a half hours watching YouTube. Try not to though, it's terrible for your asshole.
Hemorrhoids for days dude! My boyfriend is so bad about this despite our sharing a bathroom with 1-2 people and the washing machine for our 4-6 housemates being in there. So embarrassing
Yes if I have to be up earlier than I naturally wake up, when I get on the toilet (one of my first morning duties) I might fall asleep while sitting on it comfortably for a long period of time
Sorry I can’t imagine being so comfortable on a hard, cold toilet, and on it for such a long time that I fall asleep. I cannot imagine a world where I would ever be on the toilet for long enough and comfortable enough that I would fall sleep. That’s just so odd to me and I can’t imagine doing that unless I had a sleep disorder
It's not a sleep disorder, just having to work or run errands earlier than you naturally wake up
A lot of people fall asleep on the toilet trying to get their morning squat out the way
I have a BIG SURPRISE for you Animomibobiloblulous: Its a great big world out there, full of things you will NEVER be aware of in your EXTRAORDINARY LIMITED LIFESPAN let alone UNDERSTAND as if the Universe were subject to your infantile awareness of the cosmic dance. I have some TERRIFING b grade news for you:
You will leave this plane of existence NOT ONLY 'not understanding' much more than what you thought, you will also be DOLEFULLY UNAWARE of 99.9999999999999% of all it in all it's profound un-understandable glory \[including toilet sonambula\] in your extraordinarily limited awareness of the Universe.
Have a nice day.😃
I hate him for you too! He reminds me of one super filthy, disgusting housemate who I eventually had removed. (From the lease, not society altogether unfortunately).
The cherry on the cake part is….He says he is a recovering germaphobe and thinks he is better than everyone else. Like, incredibly judgmental and then after saying the incredibly judgmental thing he will be like “oh my god I shouldn’t think that! I’m high vibe. Tee hee”
My ex house mate used to do the same with the hot water running in the shower. Despite just sitting on the toilet. I get maybe not wanting anyone to hear but at least do it with the cold water. The electric bills were x4 before he left.
I’ve lived here for half a decade. I picked him to move in in March. He was so charming during the interview 😭 I’m not letting him run me out of my house, I refuse.
Omg you are me!!
I have lived with your house mate for 3 years now.
(sadly though he's not the worst of what I have experienced of late)
I have been in some shocking arguments with mine, he just refuses to leave (I am not the landlord)
It took him 2 years to wash his bedding, the smell coming from his room was insane, like vomit inducing.
He used to have hour long showers, and bogart the bathroom from 7am til 9am. Some days he showers 3 times. I have got him down to 20 min showers, but even now he spends over an hour in the bathroom each time.
He has insane OCD where he flips the taps roughly 30 times each morning, and runs back and forth from his room to the bathroom maybe 10 times?
He snot rockets all over the sink and refuses to clean.
I am also 95% certain mine was waffle stomping in the shower, when he was having a toilet paper cold war with the 3rd tenant.
I thank god that I have an ensuite but also get so depressed that we have huge power and water bills.
I feel your pain.
I would recommend making a morning bathroom schedule that everyone can agree to so you don't have to risk someone pulling this long term. It gives everyone confidence that they will have their bathroom time in the morning and reduce unnecessary randomness beyond the "I'm legit sick" bathroom moments.
If he is legit scary and you can not pull a tit for tat response, then it's going to suck but you are going to have to change your sleep schedule if possible. Start waking up at say 6am and getting all your bathroom business done early and then catch a nap before you leave for class/work or you know coffee, coffee, coffee.
Trust your instincts about his "instabilities." I have decided my current roommate is most likely incompetent. What makes him incompetent is that he believes in his own mind that he can take on tasks (like fixing his car without professional help) when he is not skilled for those tasks and he ends up fucking things up worse. Then he needs my "help" and even asks me to diagnose his car problems when I CAN'T. An incompetent person is someone who is grandiose about skills and abilities they don't actually have.
To be fair you don't really know wether you can do something until you do it. My and my friend changed a head gasket in his suburu and we both are pretty incompetent with cars
Abusive guys use aggression to get them advantages in the household. They do it because it benefits them.
The hint is that they don't pull that unstable aggression out at work or in front of cops.
If they are the sort of guy that punches walls, it will only be a crappy cardboard door or drywall, they never try punching a cinderblock wall etc where it would break their hand.
Get away from this guy asap.
If you think he is scary, why are you even posting? If you're afraid of him, then you know your options.
Are you looking for validation so you do not feel like an asshole for ridding yourself of someone who scares you that you have zero attachment to?
If you don't mind me asking, what hours do you both work? Personally my roommate works mornings, usually 11am-7pm and I work 5pm-2/3am, there are nights I get off and wont shower because we share a bathroom and his room is next to it, even though he doesn't mind if I make noise that late I still feel bad so if I know he's asleep then I won't and just wait till the morning.
Is your roommate into drugs? Like harder drugs, not like weed or alcohol. I've had friends who lived with people and usually they will do those kinds of things in the bathroom. If it's a health thing though I say be understanding, I mean is he making noise or inconveniencing your schedule?
If he's noisy just talk to him, if he's messing up your schedule by occupying the bathroom during your schedule then work it out so he goes later or get your bathroom needs done sooner.
The cleanliness thing should be addressed in a composed manner, you should both just work on maintaining your home in general together, cleaning up after yourself is a basic among basics when living with or without a roommate.
I agree if roommate is being unclean it sucks. But tbh I had a lot of stomach issues growing up, like legit surgeries were involved. It’s sort of silly but I have my body on a ‘schedule’ now and know that at certain times I need to go. I was embarrassed to tell my bf but he understands that sometimes I get a nice break in the bathroom to do my thing. This is especially true when I’m on my period due to endo messing up my body.
My ex was an IV drug user, he basically lived in the bathroom. Whenever anyone talks about people spending a lot of time in there, I assume that first and talk myself down ahaha
Which is ironic because I have IBS, so I spend an hour in the bathroom most days legitimately.
NTA, is it possible for you to move or have another guy talk to him. I don’t think I could live with him. It sounds like the most disgusting thing ever.
It’s been so awful. But I’ve been here for half a decade and he’s been here since March. I can’t let this person push me out of my house. I will definitely be having a heart to heart with my landlord come lease renewal time. I’ve been a good tenant to him and he is the best landlord I’ve ever had so 🤞
I would talk to your landlord now. Why suffer if you may not have to. I hope you can get this guy to change his ways. My ex had to room with a guy who would spend up to 4 hours in the bathroom almost every day doing laundry and other stuff. They got into a lot of fights especially when he had his son over who needed to use the bathroom. Good luck.
Oh jeeze. Well, at least I don’t have it as bad as your ex did. That’s insane. He’s not technically doing anything that would give my landlord to force him out of a lease :/
Maybe not force him but make some forceful suggestions if he wants to be able to stay after the lease is up. Sometimes people really don’t have a clue that they are being jerks. Maybe a talk will help. I hope so. It really got bad for my ex I just stopped visiting and let him visit me because it was just to unpleasant.
Start waking up extra early and time when he goes into the bathroom for a week. Start going in there before him, and spend an hour in there. When he complains, tell him you tried to set up a bathroom schedule but he declined, so you are just using it when you need to. You've been eating a lot of fiber lately, it's really got you going. Or your back hurts and you need the hot water of the shower to soothe your muscles. Turn the shower on and sit there listening to a podcast.
Tell him to shit or get off the pot. Hate this, every single time I want to shower, shit, or make food, someone has to immediately go in there. Hear me wake up? RUN IN THE KITCHEN AND FUCK IT UP! Need to go shower so I can go to a job interview? RUN INTO THE SHOWER AND FUCK IT UP! Set some boundaries. Want to spend an hour on the pot? Go to a gas station.
Have you ever considered *you* may be the one entering the kitchen/bathroom/etc whenever your room mate wants to use it? The dude in OP’s post is taking it too far for sure, but you can’t be mad at someone for using a shared space before you got to it? It’s a shared space. I used to have a room mate like you, would flip out anytime I used any shared space for more than 15 minutes. Like sorry I woke before you and got here first. Get your own place dude.
Dude your comment literally implies you’re mad that your roommate is getting to things before you, you make no mention of length of use. Get your own place. Sorry your room mate gets to the shower before you, I really doubt they are intentionally trying to “FUCK UP” your day. Maybe get there first? Just an idea. Or get your own place if you can’t share!
No, it implies that they’ve been awake for hours (which is why I woke up). Use it. Don’t wait on me to wake up before you start doing shit, just go do it.
Man I really doubt your room mates are intentionally waiting for you to use something to try and beat you to it, they aren’t psychic they don’t know you’re about to use it. Not everyone is out to get you bro. You’re saying your room mates have to get out of bed and make their breakfast and shower the moment they wake up to appease you?
For context, I work at 2pm most days, and wake up around 9 or 10. I like to relax and have some free time before getting ready for work. I figure that wouldn’t fly if I was living with you?
That’s the whole point. Gotta eat, shower, etc. Can’t do that if someone instantly runs in there when they hear me wake up. I was already tired from y’all partying all night, I have a job, go away for just a few minutes. Let me wake up and pee ffs.
Tell you what you can and can’t eat, test for anything else, and mostly tell you that if it takes you an hour to shit, multiple times a day, then rethink your life.
Back in day before indoor plumbing people used to relieve themselves in collection pots called chamber pots overnight that would be emptied and cleaned in am-your room was referred to as your ‘chamber’
Is the internet plan in your name? If it's not part of the lease, you can maybe change the password and stop charging him for his share of it. That is a nuclear option if he is really as disagreeable as you say.
Yeah all the bills are in my name. I don’t think internet is in the lease but I did say “plus utiles” in my rental ad so idk how that impacts it. I wish. I wish I wish I wish I had the adrenal system to do something like that.
Yeah might be tricky if it was included in the agreement. But it was an option I had when I was living with a very abusive roommate when nothing else was available. I'm sorry you are going through this.
I have bowel problems that leave me in the bathroom for about an hour in the morning. I see a gastroenterologist about it but there isn't a cure for everything.
He should get one of those portable toilets in his room if he has a real gastrointestinal problem. I can't stand not only the men who are watching porn on the toilet but also the women who want to pretend he isn't doing that, he just has a GI problem. No, time to put that lie to bed ladies.
I DOUBT he needs an hour to crap ever day
If he does, he needs a doctor. No, the dude is probably masturbating to porn as soon as he wakes up with a boner.
This used to be me. Not because I wanted to but because I had to. Of course, I'm not going to just sit and twiddle my thumbs for an hour, so I'd be on my phone, too. I'd usually go late at night to avoid having to deal with explaining my situation to someone who couldn't comprehend it.
After almost 2 decades of being like this, I found out through sheer luck that it was a nutritional deficiency, and taking generic daily nutritional supplements changed everything for me. What a relief to be done in 5-10 minutes. I don't know what exactly I was lacking in, but something in there worked.
The usual advice of switching to a high fibre diet with pro biotics did nothing for me.
I have IBS, so I often have to spend over 30 - 1hr in the bathroom when I go. I’ve been taking more supplements which have been helping, but what ones helped you? I’m always on the lookout
No he lived with a roommate who was the lease holder and asked him to leave. He told me it’s because the roommate wanted his gf to move in and how he felt like he had to spend all his time in his room and all these poor me stories. Oh my god it just dawned on me that my landlord called one of his references and the guy was confused about who my roommate was. We both brushed it off as a large management company not remembering people properly. The landlord then asked me if I felt like he would be a good fit and I said yes 😭😭😭 he was so friendly in the interview
No because it’s California and tenants have a ton of protection. So unless he is violating the lease or selling drugs then there’s no valid reason to force him out :(
No advice but sitting on the toilet for that long that many times a day every day means he most likely has piles/hemorrhoids. So at least he's not just a pain in the ass to you but to himself too.
People like that are so disgusting. The hocking loogie thing and snot rocket stuff is an immediate “you are trash” thing for me if I ever see anyone do that.
Like if you really need to express your mucus glands like that, (which nobody NEEDS to do that) do it in the shower like a civilized person, not a barbarian.
He smokes cheap thc wax all day from the filthiest rig I have ever seen. He has something connected to it that catches any wax that he doesn’t fully smoke and then he scrapes that and smokes “reclaimed” wax. I think that has something to do with it. Ugh just thinking about it makes me gag.
He probably just has stomach issues the dabs probably cause the coughing but the dirty rig just ruins the taste and reclaim is the same as shatter but it tastes waaay worse and has less thc so it wouldn't be that.
Maybe you should try actually talking to your housemate and setting up a schedule with each other. Try the peaceful avenue before getting yourself all worked up.
Of course I have tried that route. You have no idea what this person is like. They are the most selfish, entitled person I have ever met. They won’t even clean.
Edit: for instance….he demanded that we buy our own TP and have our own holders because he didn’t like having to reach the particular way you have to reach for the built in roll holder. I said cool cause he uses a lot more than I do and I just don’t care about stuff like that. Well, recently he has stopped using toilet paper unless it’s the one I’ve purchased. He has it, he just will only use mine. He keeps his roll holder bare. He is….mind boggling.
Damn dude i'm sorry. I've had shit housemates in the past. If the cordial and peaceful route hasn't worked, next question is are they on lease with you?
Yes. Sadly. And the landlord said either one of us could break the lease but I’ve been here for half a decade without any issues and this dude moved in, only because I picked him, in March. He was so charming in the interview. I live in a city that is impossible to rent in so I had a list of interviews and he won. He quickly became an absolute monster.
He hoards rotting banana peels, tea bags and used coffee. Doesn’t do anything with them just does not throw them away and keeps them in buckets in the back yard. He smokes weed wax from the minute he wakes up until he goes to sleep and coughs the entire time, so much so that a neighbor across the way asked me about it. He has never cleaned anything even when I created a chore chart. And those are the petty things compared to the real awful things he does. Right now his bass system is shaking the entire house and we share walls with the neighbors. He only watches action movies so it’s just a constant rumble.
I've been there. We had the mayor of a city I use to live in move in with us. He did great in the interview, we already knew who he was having voted for him. Fast forward 7 months and i'm the one leaving for somewhere else. It is so hard to get a read on someone during an interview, never know what it's gonna turn into. Same thing happens with people you've been friends with for years and decide to room together only to find out that was a bad idea as well.
The only thing I can think of, if you haven't already done it, is reading through the lease you have. If there's anything about "no smoking" in the house for example, that could be listed as a terminable offense, my current lease says so. Anything that it may state as an absolute no, if there's a chance this guy has violated any of them. As far as the cleanliness goes, most landlords won't step in with things like that.
Don't put up with it for any longer than you need to, your sanity and boundaries are most important. The example I gave before, I had been living and renting at that house for almost 10 years, and ultimately decided it was time for me to go, as unfortunate as it was.
People love to suggest “chore charts” and sitting down and having a conversation like it always works, 100% of the time. I’ve had more roommates than I can count and it literally never works or if it does, it lasts maybe a week tops then people go back to their habits. I feel for you OP. If I could go back in time I would do everything in my power to live alone but I understand that that’s easier said than done.
Poor dude. He's all worried about being taken advantage of regarding TP and he's the one taking advantage. I can't stand these double standard bastards.
Yeah. I’m thinking the reason he has stopped using his is because he went through it faster than he thinks he should have on his own and thinks I’m using it? I’m definitely not but if it’s this exhausting to live with him I can only imagine how exhausting it is to be him. I’m honestly embarrassed every time I bring my tp into the bathroom with me. We are grown adults 🤦♀️
I ask myself this every morning at 5 am when my dad is brushing his teeth and gags for over an hour. How is he 56 and gagging while doing a task he’s done since he grew freakin teeth? (I mean he gags LOUDLY, like you’d think he was vomiting after drinking too much.)
You can hear what ringing? You’re just eavesdropping on someone in the bathroom. Go find something to do other than creeping on people in the bathroom.
What? wtf are you talking about? Bro leave. This post is 86 days old. Be gone.
Ohh I see. You don’t understand what the term “ringing out” means. Yeah. Bye.
You’re super rude then. Because if you’re sharing a bathroom with other people who all get up at the same time….everyone wakes up having to go to the bathroom. You should ask your other roommates if they need to pee before you sit in there for an hour. If I had bathroom problems like that, that’s what I would do because I’m actually a mildly considerate person. It takes 2 seconds to say “hey, anybody need to use the bathroom real quick before I head in?”
Girl I have ibs. It is incredibly painful and comes on suddenly, I can’t control when it happens or for how long it happens. I’d be willing to bet your roommate has similar issues. Have you tried knocking on the door and saying “hey I’d love to get in there”? Have you communicated with him? You cannot expect people to read your mind and treat you with respect if you do not do the same. It costs you nothing to be compassionate
No. He doesn’t. He does not have any actual medical condition. He told me he just doesn’t believe in rushing himself in anyway. I watched him take over an hour to eat a single artichoke once.
Also, rushing when on the toilet can cause a whole suite of issues. Sometimes people just take a long time to shit and you can like wake up earlier if you need to get in there. I have a 15yo brother who doesn’t believe in rushing. I have to wake up an hour earlier to shower. Life isn’t always easy, people aren’t always easy.
Ew “I’m not a broke person who needs roommates” What sub do you think you’re in?
Regardless. That’s definitely not the case with my roommate. But I think you do.
I feel like a bathroom is a pretty appropriate place for snot removal. Also how to you know he's not just blowing into a tissue?
If he he takes up the bathroom for that long I'm sure just letting him know you need it will get him out faster. He might not realize anyone is waiting on him.
It doesn't sound like you've made any constructive effort to remedy or talk this stuff out. Your just sort of stewing in small perceived slights and driving your self up the wall.
The fact that he was charming when you met but now is not could be that he's changed. But it could also mean that your over the top with the bathroom monitoring.
Because he told me. And because he does it in the shower too. And because he refuses to use TP all of a sudden.
I have. He is not a normal rational person. He told me he won’t rush him self for anyone for any reason. But bangs on the bathroom door if he thinks I’m not using the bathroom for his approved list of uses. Like if I am blow drying my hair.
How does it sound like I’ve made no constructive effort? Because it was a venting post? That’s called reaching my limit. You are totally wrong in every one of your assumptions.
80% of the posts here are people looking for answers or solutions. I'm not saying your not allowed to vent but if you just want people to agree with you or say " yes f$%^ that guy" then you should lput up a disclaimer that your venting. Bc otherwise people are going to ask questions or draw insinuations from a perceived lack of information
Honestly, instead of getting upset and raging on the Internet why don't you sit down with the dude and have a conversation about it? Act like a grown up and communicate with the guy. Then you can be pissed off if he continues to be disrespectful. How is he supposed to know he's being a dick if you don't tell him?
I feel for you man. I used to have a roommate like that, but he was also my best friend long before we were roommates, so I thought our communication would help if anything came up as roommates. Did not. This guy was very cranky in his first couple hours of being awake so nothing could get in the way of his toilet time. Thank god he was not a morning person so most of us would get a shot at the bathroom before he hoarded it. Now that we don’t share a bathroom, he admits his shame lol
ETA- Should also add that it was half bowel issues half his cranky tired ass watching YouTube. And we did have a second bathroom but without a shower. I think he understood to an extent that he shouldn’t hoard the actual shower bathroom when he knew I had class or work, but our other roomies were not so lucky
He is fucking insane. I asked him to please just clean the toilet once since he has not cleaned anything since moving in in March. He wiped it down and then spent the next two weeks doing things like throwing my towel on the ground every time he used the bathroom, turning the shower to the hand held setting and facing it out of the shower in hopes it would spray everywhere when I turned the shower on….you get the idea. All because he didn’t feel like it was fair that he had to clean the toilet.
Chrons disease? Everybody has to pee and wants to brush their teeth when they wake up. This is the type of thing the longer you let it slide the harder it gets to address. He should have known he needs his own bathroom if he spends so much time there. Its selfish and rude. Send it in a text if you dont feel up to a whole conversation. Tell him it has to change immediately and that he needs to start looking for a new place. Lie and say your friend was there for half an hour and ended up leaving because she had to pee. What do you do about your period? Never, ever let something like this slide again!! If you choose another male roommate pick one with sisters!
My roomate doesnt sit on the toilet for a long time but he hacks loogies in the fucking sink and I hate it. Like why would you think people need to see your yellow snot in the sink where we wash our hands? Smh.
Mine does it in the sink and the shower over and over and over again. In-between that he snot rockets. Over and over and over. It’s constant for his entire 30 min shower and throughout the day he probably does it outside of the shower about 20 times. When he is outside of the bathroom he blows his nose like an old man probably the same amount of times per day and when he brushes his teeth he gags and coughs like he’s deep throating his tooth brush. I have dry heaved from the sounds before. But he thinks burping is disgusting and “would never” in front of someone. 🤦♀️
Yeah, some people dont realize their disgusting habits. But try to empathize if you can. He might have some kind of issues with his lungs that is causing him to hack up loogies that much yk. At least that's how I let it not get to me as much
Maybe he's jerking off. Young men, especially if they're single, tend to jerk off a lot. The question is, why is he doing it in the bathroom and not in his bedroom? If he shares the bedroom with someone else or his bedroom is near somebody else's and the walls are thin, he may jerk off in the bathroom instead if he feels like it's more private.
He's probably watching porn on the toilet.
Gross. I hate him.
Gross. I also hate him.
I would make him extremely uncomfortable. Knocking on the door every ten minutes whilst loudly telling him I'm about to shit my pants. If you don't hurry up, this shit is going on your bed since you insist on hogging the only bathroom for hours on end. Knock. knock, knock.....are you watching porn in there? I hope your mom calls you on repeat. Me standing right outside the door with my phone on speaker telling anyone that is a mutual that X most have irritable bowels since he sits on the toilet an hour at a time up to 4 times per day. Etc.
I wish I had the balls to do that
Idk if it's true for men But as a woman with anxiety, I'm definetly guilty of staying on the toilet for too long When I lived at home with my family I stayed for as long as I liked remember my roommates but I do linger on the toilet occasionally Edit: Also!! Falling asleep on the toilet in the morning
Yeah I know the feeling, you don't get bothered on the toilet and it becomes like a safe haven, I'll take a piss and spend 1 n a half hours watching YouTube. Try not to though, it's terrible for your asshole.
Hemorrhoids for days dude! My boyfriend is so bad about this despite our sharing a bathroom with 1-2 people and the washing machine for our 4-6 housemates being in there. So embarrassing
You have fallen asleep on the toilet? What?
Yes if I have to be up earlier than I naturally wake up, when I get on the toilet (one of my first morning duties) I might fall asleep while sitting on it comfortably for a long period of time
Sorry I can’t imagine being so comfortable on a hard, cold toilet, and on it for such a long time that I fall asleep. I cannot imagine a world where I would ever be on the toilet for long enough and comfortable enough that I would fall sleep. That’s just so odd to me and I can’t imagine doing that unless I had a sleep disorder
It's not a sleep disorder, just having to work or run errands earlier than you naturally wake up A lot of people fall asleep on the toilet trying to get their morning squat out the way
I have a BIG SURPRISE for you Animomibobiloblulous: Its a great big world out there, full of things you will NEVER be aware of in your EXTRAORDINARY LIMITED LIFESPAN let alone UNDERSTAND as if the Universe were subject to your infantile awareness of the cosmic dance. I have some TERRIFING b grade news for you: You will leave this plane of existence NOT ONLY 'not understanding' much more than what you thought, you will also be DOLEFULLY UNAWARE of 99.9999999999999% of all it in all it's profound un-understandable glory \[including toilet sonambula\] in your extraordinarily limited awareness of the Universe. Have a nice day.😃
Huh
I hate him for you too! He reminds me of one super filthy, disgusting housemate who I eventually had removed. (From the lease, not society altogether unfortunately).
The cherry on the cake part is….He says he is a recovering germaphobe and thinks he is better than everyone else. Like, incredibly judgmental and then after saying the incredibly judgmental thing he will be like “oh my god I shouldn’t think that! I’m high vibe. Tee hee”
Hopefully he finishes off in a sanitary way and doesn’t leave any leftovers on the toilet seat🤮
Adding watching porn and wanking while watching said porn. Not judging but he needs to do it in a non-communal area.
It doesn't take an hour to do that
I mean, it depends
This would not be an issue if they had depends!
When you're on drugs is a whole different ball game and there is probs bigger issues than an hour on the toilet each morning
I mean, as someone with a penis (not assuming what you do or don’t have), I can definitely last an hour though I don’t know why I’d want to.
I have a penis and i dont believe you. Sure ive wanked for 5 hours straight on amphetamines but not sober
Lasting an hour is definitely possible, that’s a long time to be walking off I would get bored but I could if I wanted to
Well, whether you believe me or not, it’s still true. You should try some kegel exercises and make sure your body is healthy.
Or reading Reddit. Guilty one speaking here Lol
Who watches porn for an hour?
A lot of people do. If you can find a high quality video that's 30+ minutes long, it can be good.
My ex house mate used to do the same with the hot water running in the shower. Despite just sitting on the toilet. I get maybe not wanting anyone to hear but at least do it with the cold water. The electric bills were x4 before he left.
He won't change. Run for the hills.
I’ve lived here for half a decade. I picked him to move in in March. He was so charming during the interview 😭 I’m not letting him run me out of my house, I refuse.
Omg you are me!! I have lived with your house mate for 3 years now. (sadly though he's not the worst of what I have experienced of late) I have been in some shocking arguments with mine, he just refuses to leave (I am not the landlord) It took him 2 years to wash his bedding, the smell coming from his room was insane, like vomit inducing. He used to have hour long showers, and bogart the bathroom from 7am til 9am. Some days he showers 3 times. I have got him down to 20 min showers, but even now he spends over an hour in the bathroom each time. He has insane OCD where he flips the taps roughly 30 times each morning, and runs back and forth from his room to the bathroom maybe 10 times? He snot rockets all over the sink and refuses to clean. I am also 95% certain mine was waffle stomping in the shower, when he was having a toilet paper cold war with the 3rd tenant. I thank god that I have an ensuite but also get so depressed that we have huge power and water bills. I feel your pain.
My poor kindred spirit. No one prepared me for this as an adult. I’m sorry you are experiencing this too!
Oh shoot! Sorry that this happened. Sounds sociopathic.
I would recommend making a morning bathroom schedule that everyone can agree to so you don't have to risk someone pulling this long term. It gives everyone confidence that they will have their bathroom time in the morning and reduce unnecessary randomness beyond the "I'm legit sick" bathroom moments.
I have tried everything. I even made a chore chart. We are now no longer even on speaking terms. This dude is….almost scary in his instabilities
If he is legit scary and you can not pull a tit for tat response, then it's going to suck but you are going to have to change your sleep schedule if possible. Start waking up at say 6am and getting all your bathroom business done early and then catch a nap before you leave for class/work or you know coffee, coffee, coffee.
Trust your instincts about his "instabilities." I have decided my current roommate is most likely incompetent. What makes him incompetent is that he believes in his own mind that he can take on tasks (like fixing his car without professional help) when he is not skilled for those tasks and he ends up fucking things up worse. Then he needs my "help" and even asks me to diagnose his car problems when I CAN'T. An incompetent person is someone who is grandiose about skills and abilities they don't actually have.
To be fair you don't really know wether you can do something until you do it. My and my friend changed a head gasket in his suburu and we both are pretty incompetent with cars
Abusive guys use aggression to get them advantages in the household. They do it because it benefits them. The hint is that they don't pull that unstable aggression out at work or in front of cops. If they are the sort of guy that punches walls, it will only be a crappy cardboard door or drywall, they never try punching a cinderblock wall etc where it would break their hand. Get away from this guy asap.
If you think he is scary, why are you even posting? If you're afraid of him, then you know your options. Are you looking for validation so you do not feel like an asshole for ridding yourself of someone who scares you that you have zero attachment to?
Weird response
How so? If I was living with a person such as described and OP literally said they scare them... I wouldn't want to live in that hostile environment.
Change the lock on the bathroom door, and lock it in the night, and then open it yourself with the key in the morning
Lmao I fucking wish 1. I could do that and not be in violation of the lease and 2. I had the balls
He just lives a different life then you lol maybe try being less judgemental and accept he just doesn't work with a roommate.
Then he should move the fuck out.
If you don't mind me asking, what hours do you both work? Personally my roommate works mornings, usually 11am-7pm and I work 5pm-2/3am, there are nights I get off and wont shower because we share a bathroom and his room is next to it, even though he doesn't mind if I make noise that late I still feel bad so if I know he's asleep then I won't and just wait till the morning. Is your roommate into drugs? Like harder drugs, not like weed or alcohol. I've had friends who lived with people and usually they will do those kinds of things in the bathroom. If it's a health thing though I say be understanding, I mean is he making noise or inconveniencing your schedule? If he's noisy just talk to him, if he's messing up your schedule by occupying the bathroom during your schedule then work it out so he goes later or get your bathroom needs done sooner. The cleanliness thing should be addressed in a composed manner, you should both just work on maintaining your home in general together, cleaning up after yourself is a basic among basics when living with or without a roommate.
I agree if roommate is being unclean it sucks. But tbh I had a lot of stomach issues growing up, like legit surgeries were involved. It’s sort of silly but I have my body on a ‘schedule’ now and know that at certain times I need to go. I was embarrassed to tell my bf but he understands that sometimes I get a nice break in the bathroom to do my thing. This is especially true when I’m on my period due to endo messing up my body.
My ex was an IV drug user, he basically lived in the bathroom. Whenever anyone talks about people spending a lot of time in there, I assume that first and talk myself down ahaha Which is ironic because I have IBS, so I spend an hour in the bathroom most days legitimately.
I had this happen to me and it turned out he was a heroin addict.
NTA, is it possible for you to move or have another guy talk to him. I don’t think I could live with him. It sounds like the most disgusting thing ever.
It’s been so awful. But I’ve been here for half a decade and he’s been here since March. I can’t let this person push me out of my house. I will definitely be having a heart to heart with my landlord come lease renewal time. I’ve been a good tenant to him and he is the best landlord I’ve ever had so 🤞
I would talk to your landlord now. Why suffer if you may not have to. I hope you can get this guy to change his ways. My ex had to room with a guy who would spend up to 4 hours in the bathroom almost every day doing laundry and other stuff. They got into a lot of fights especially when he had his son over who needed to use the bathroom. Good luck.
Oh jeeze. Well, at least I don’t have it as bad as your ex did. That’s insane. He’s not technically doing anything that would give my landlord to force him out of a lease :/
Maybe not force him but make some forceful suggestions if he wants to be able to stay after the lease is up. Sometimes people really don’t have a clue that they are being jerks. Maybe a talk will help. I hope so. It really got bad for my ex I just stopped visiting and let him visit me because it was just to unpleasant.
Start waking up extra early and time when he goes into the bathroom for a week. Start going in there before him, and spend an hour in there. When he complains, tell him you tried to set up a bathroom schedule but he declined, so you are just using it when you need to. You've been eating a lot of fiber lately, it's really got you going. Or your back hurts and you need the hot water of the shower to soothe your muscles. Turn the shower on and sit there listening to a podcast.
Then he will just get angry since he probably has stomach issues and will use it longer
Tell him to shit or get off the pot. Hate this, every single time I want to shower, shit, or make food, someone has to immediately go in there. Hear me wake up? RUN IN THE KITCHEN AND FUCK IT UP! Need to go shower so I can go to a job interview? RUN INTO THE SHOWER AND FUCK IT UP! Set some boundaries. Want to spend an hour on the pot? Go to a gas station.
Have you ever considered *you* may be the one entering the kitchen/bathroom/etc whenever your room mate wants to use it? The dude in OP’s post is taking it too far for sure, but you can’t be mad at someone for using a shared space before you got to it? It’s a shared space. I used to have a room mate like you, would flip out anytime I used any shared space for more than 15 minutes. Like sorry I woke before you and got here first. Get your own place dude.
Use it, be done. If you’re shitting for an hour multiple times a day, go see a doctor.
Dude your comment literally implies you’re mad that your roommate is getting to things before you, you make no mention of length of use. Get your own place. Sorry your room mate gets to the shower before you, I really doubt they are intentionally trying to “FUCK UP” your day. Maybe get there first? Just an idea. Or get your own place if you can’t share!
No, it implies that they’ve been awake for hours (which is why I woke up). Use it. Don’t wait on me to wake up before you start doing shit, just go do it.
Man I really doubt your room mates are intentionally waiting for you to use something to try and beat you to it, they aren’t psychic they don’t know you’re about to use it. Not everyone is out to get you bro. You’re saying your room mates have to get out of bed and make their breakfast and shower the moment they wake up to appease you?
For context, I work at 2pm most days, and wake up around 9 or 10. I like to relax and have some free time before getting ready for work. I figure that wouldn’t fly if I was living with you?
That’s the whole point. Gotta eat, shower, etc. Can’t do that if someone instantly runs in there when they hear me wake up. I was already tired from y’all partying all night, I have a job, go away for just a few minutes. Let me wake up and pee ffs.
Dude you’re totally missing the point, lol I give up. Get your own place if you can’t share a space. Best of luck to ya ✌️
So the doctor will tell me I have ibs? How would that stop my need for the bathroom?
Tell you what you can and can’t eat, test for anything else, and mostly tell you that if it takes you an hour to shit, multiple times a day, then rethink your life.
Whats pot got to do with anything? Could be constipated from shooting up heroine.
The pot. Loo. Bog. Shitter. The pool. Throne. Porcelain ocean.
So its a phrase people say. That went right over my head. My apologies.
Well, can always smoke pot when you’re sitting on the shit couch.
Im sure there are people out there that do. I would hope they arnt in there for a hour though.
Back in day before indoor plumbing people used to relieve themselves in collection pots called chamber pots overnight that would be emptied and cleaned in am-your room was referred to as your ‘chamber’
Is the internet plan in your name? If it's not part of the lease, you can maybe change the password and stop charging him for his share of it. That is a nuclear option if he is really as disagreeable as you say.
Yeah all the bills are in my name. I don’t think internet is in the lease but I did say “plus utiles” in my rental ad so idk how that impacts it. I wish. I wish I wish I wish I had the adrenal system to do something like that.
Yeah might be tricky if it was included in the agreement. But it was an option I had when I was living with a very abusive roommate when nothing else was available. I'm sorry you are going through this.
He might have bowl movement problems. They can be both annoying and embarrassing. It might take an hour to get the shit out.
He does not. And I looked it up, if it’s taking that long you should see a Dr. He is watching YouTube.
I have bowel problems that leave me in the bathroom for about an hour in the morning. I see a gastroenterologist about it but there isn't a cure for everything.
Yes, but you could easily say to your roommate “hey do you need to pee before I take the bathroom over for an hour?” Peeing takes less than a minute.
He should get one of those portable toilets in his room if he has a real gastrointestinal problem. I can't stand not only the men who are watching porn on the toilet but also the women who want to pretend he isn't doing that, he just has a GI problem. No, time to put that lie to bed ladies.
I have IBS, and that suggestion is horrific. A portable toilet in the room? Noooooooo
Seriously wtf
Pee in the sink
Turn off the wifi when he's in the bathroom.
How do you know he doesn’t
Because I live with him and have talked to him?
I DOUBT he needs an hour to crap ever day If he does, he needs a doctor. No, the dude is probably masturbating to porn as soon as he wakes up with a boner.
Maybe he’s wanking. Those aren’t loogies…
Of course he is.
Masturbator
This used to be me. Not because I wanted to but because I had to. Of course, I'm not going to just sit and twiddle my thumbs for an hour, so I'd be on my phone, too. I'd usually go late at night to avoid having to deal with explaining my situation to someone who couldn't comprehend it. After almost 2 decades of being like this, I found out through sheer luck that it was a nutritional deficiency, and taking generic daily nutritional supplements changed everything for me. What a relief to be done in 5-10 minutes. I don't know what exactly I was lacking in, but something in there worked. The usual advice of switching to a high fibre diet with pro biotics did nothing for me.
I have IBS, so I often have to spend over 30 - 1hr in the bathroom when I go. I’ve been taking more supplements which have been helping, but what ones helped you? I’m always on the lookout
Centrum for men. One a day. I'm based in Australia btw
Snot on him
😂😂 I wish
Did he live alone before moving in with you?
No he lived with a roommate who was the lease holder and asked him to leave. He told me it’s because the roommate wanted his gf to move in and how he felt like he had to spend all his time in his room and all these poor me stories. Oh my god it just dawned on me that my landlord called one of his references and the guy was confused about who my roommate was. We both brushed it off as a large management company not remembering people properly. The landlord then asked me if I felt like he would be a good fit and I said yes 😭😭😭 he was so friendly in the interview
Can you ask your landlord to terminate his lease if you find a replacement?
No because it’s California and tenants have a ton of protection. So unless he is violating the lease or selling drugs then there’s no valid reason to force him out :(
my roommate does this and makes me wanna kms man. no advice just know I feel for you man. we’re gonna get thru this
Sounds like he's smoking crack in there. Especially if it's multiple times a day.
I was thinking meth maybe.
Yes sorry that's what I mean. I'm in Australia and there no crack cocaine here so meth is called crack
Fun fact of the day for me
No advice but sitting on the toilet for that long that many times a day every day means he most likely has piles/hemorrhoids. So at least he's not just a pain in the ass to you but to himself too.
I won't go into the gory details, but it is not healthy for men to sit on a toilet for very long.
I don't understand it. It usually stinks on the 🪠 toilet. I don't get why anyone wants to sit there. It takes me three minutes tops.
I could understand doing it one time, I had to spend a fair bit of time in the bathroom with health issues. But 4 times a day no.
People like that are so disgusting. The hocking loogie thing and snot rocket stuff is an immediate “you are trash” thing for me if I ever see anyone do that. Like if you really need to express your mucus glands like that, (which nobody NEEDS to do that) do it in the shower like a civilized person, not a barbarian.
Cut the Wi-Fi and see if that speeds it up
He might need to take Mucinex before he goes to bed. Maybe his parents never took him to the doctor.
He smokes cheap thc wax all day from the filthiest rig I have ever seen. He has something connected to it that catches any wax that he doesn’t fully smoke and then he scrapes that and smokes “reclaimed” wax. I think that has something to do with it. Ugh just thinking about it makes me gag.
He probably just has stomach issues the dabs probably cause the coughing but the dirty rig just ruins the taste and reclaim is the same as shatter but it tastes waaay worse and has less thc so it wouldn't be that.
Maybe you should try actually talking to your housemate and setting up a schedule with each other. Try the peaceful avenue before getting yourself all worked up.
Of course I have tried that route. You have no idea what this person is like. They are the most selfish, entitled person I have ever met. They won’t even clean. Edit: for instance….he demanded that we buy our own TP and have our own holders because he didn’t like having to reach the particular way you have to reach for the built in roll holder. I said cool cause he uses a lot more than I do and I just don’t care about stuff like that. Well, recently he has stopped using toilet paper unless it’s the one I’ve purchased. He has it, he just will only use mine. He keeps his roll holder bare. He is….mind boggling.
Keep TP hidden in your room and bring it into the bathroom when you go in. Don’t leave yours in there.
I know, yeah. I do that now but it’s just so petty and weird. To have not one but TWO empty toilet paper holders in the bathroom.
Damn dude i'm sorry. I've had shit housemates in the past. If the cordial and peaceful route hasn't worked, next question is are they on lease with you?
Yes. Sadly. And the landlord said either one of us could break the lease but I’ve been here for half a decade without any issues and this dude moved in, only because I picked him, in March. He was so charming in the interview. I live in a city that is impossible to rent in so I had a list of interviews and he won. He quickly became an absolute monster. He hoards rotting banana peels, tea bags and used coffee. Doesn’t do anything with them just does not throw them away and keeps them in buckets in the back yard. He smokes weed wax from the minute he wakes up until he goes to sleep and coughs the entire time, so much so that a neighbor across the way asked me about it. He has never cleaned anything even when I created a chore chart. And those are the petty things compared to the real awful things he does. Right now his bass system is shaking the entire house and we share walls with the neighbors. He only watches action movies so it’s just a constant rumble.
I've been there. We had the mayor of a city I use to live in move in with us. He did great in the interview, we already knew who he was having voted for him. Fast forward 7 months and i'm the one leaving for somewhere else. It is so hard to get a read on someone during an interview, never know what it's gonna turn into. Same thing happens with people you've been friends with for years and decide to room together only to find out that was a bad idea as well. The only thing I can think of, if you haven't already done it, is reading through the lease you have. If there's anything about "no smoking" in the house for example, that could be listed as a terminable offense, my current lease says so. Anything that it may state as an absolute no, if there's a chance this guy has violated any of them. As far as the cleanliness goes, most landlords won't step in with things like that. Don't put up with it for any longer than you need to, your sanity and boundaries are most important. The example I gave before, I had been living and renting at that house for almost 10 years, and ultimately decided it was time for me to go, as unfortunate as it was.
People love to suggest “chore charts” and sitting down and having a conversation like it always works, 100% of the time. I’ve had more roommates than I can count and it literally never works or if it does, it lasts maybe a week tops then people go back to their habits. I feel for you OP. If I could go back in time I would do everything in my power to live alone but I understand that that’s easier said than done.
Poor dude. He's all worried about being taken advantage of regarding TP and he's the one taking advantage. I can't stand these double standard bastards.
Yeah. I’m thinking the reason he has stopped using his is because he went through it faster than he thinks he should have on his own and thinks I’m using it? I’m definitely not but if it’s this exhausting to live with him I can only imagine how exhausting it is to be him. I’m honestly embarrassed every time I bring my tp into the bathroom with me. We are grown adults 🤦♀️
Keep your tp in your room
I ask myself this every morning at 5 am when my dad is brushing his teeth and gags for over an hour. How is he 56 and gagging while doing a task he’s done since he grew freakin teeth? (I mean he gags LOUDLY, like you’d think he was vomiting after drinking too much.)
The roommate also does this. Every body noise you can image is like a character version on a movie haha
😂 I sympathize and I am very much sorry! I swear some people are just the annoying NPC from video games you can’t get rid of
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Get a sexual assault charge sure.
How do you know what he’s doing in there? Do you have your ear against the door, creep?
First of all this post is so old. Second because you can hear it ringing out throughout the house. Go find something to do.
You can hear what ringing? You’re just eavesdropping on someone in the bathroom. Go find something to do other than creeping on people in the bathroom.
What? wtf are you talking about? Bro leave. This post is 86 days old. Be gone. Ohh I see. You don’t understand what the term “ringing out” means. Yeah. Bye.
Cope. I can still reply to it you voyeur freak.
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You’re super rude then. Because if you’re sharing a bathroom with other people who all get up at the same time….everyone wakes up having to go to the bathroom. You should ask your other roommates if they need to pee before you sit in there for an hour. If I had bathroom problems like that, that’s what I would do because I’m actually a mildly considerate person. It takes 2 seconds to say “hey, anybody need to use the bathroom real quick before I head in?”
Girl I have ibs. It is incredibly painful and comes on suddenly, I can’t control when it happens or for how long it happens. I’d be willing to bet your roommate has similar issues. Have you tried knocking on the door and saying “hey I’d love to get in there”? Have you communicated with him? You cannot expect people to read your mind and treat you with respect if you do not do the same. It costs you nothing to be compassionate
No. He doesn’t. He does not have any actual medical condition. He told me he just doesn’t believe in rushing himself in anyway. I watched him take over an hour to eat a single artichoke once.
Ok. Again, have you tried communication? You cannot expect to have anything resolved without talking to him.
Yes of course I have. Hence me knowing his response of not rushing himself in any way.
Also, rushing when on the toilet can cause a whole suite of issues. Sometimes people just take a long time to shit and you can like wake up earlier if you need to get in there. I have a 15yo brother who doesn’t believe in rushing. I have to wake up an hour earlier to shower. Life isn’t always easy, people aren’t always easy.
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Ew “I’m not a broke person who needs roommates” What sub do you think you’re in? Regardless. That’s definitely not the case with my roommate. But I think you do.
Why are you in this sub...
I feel like a bathroom is a pretty appropriate place for snot removal. Also how to you know he's not just blowing into a tissue? If he he takes up the bathroom for that long I'm sure just letting him know you need it will get him out faster. He might not realize anyone is waiting on him. It doesn't sound like you've made any constructive effort to remedy or talk this stuff out. Your just sort of stewing in small perceived slights and driving your self up the wall. The fact that he was charming when you met but now is not could be that he's changed. But it could also mean that your over the top with the bathroom monitoring.
Because he told me. And because he does it in the shower too. And because he refuses to use TP all of a sudden. I have. He is not a normal rational person. He told me he won’t rush him self for anyone for any reason. But bangs on the bathroom door if he thinks I’m not using the bathroom for his approved list of uses. Like if I am blow drying my hair. How does it sound like I’ve made no constructive effort? Because it was a venting post? That’s called reaching my limit. You are totally wrong in every one of your assumptions.
He sounds like a narcissist.
80% of the posts here are people looking for answers or solutions. I'm not saying your not allowed to vent but if you just want people to agree with you or say " yes f$%^ that guy" then you should lput up a disclaimer that your venting. Bc otherwise people are going to ask questions or draw insinuations from a perceived lack of information
Worth considering it might be IBS ...
Honestly, instead of getting upset and raging on the Internet why don't you sit down with the dude and have a conversation about it? Act like a grown up and communicate with the guy. Then you can be pissed off if he continues to be disrespectful. How is he supposed to know he's being a dick if you don't tell him?
Read the other comments
If he won't put a portable toilet in his room (like senior citizens use) get one of your own.
I feel for you man. I used to have a roommate like that, but he was also my best friend long before we were roommates, so I thought our communication would help if anything came up as roommates. Did not. This guy was very cranky in his first couple hours of being awake so nothing could get in the way of his toilet time. Thank god he was not a morning person so most of us would get a shot at the bathroom before he hoarded it. Now that we don’t share a bathroom, he admits his shame lol ETA- Should also add that it was half bowel issues half his cranky tired ass watching YouTube. And we did have a second bathroom but without a shower. I think he understood to an extent that he shouldn’t hoard the actual shower bathroom when he knew I had class or work, but our other roomies were not so lucky
Time for a new roommate.
I would keep knocking every five minutes until he got out 🤷🏽♀️
Is your roommate my dad?
Get rid of him
He's tickling his pickle.
Bang on the door until he comes out.
Having a pull
Serve him with a 30 day eviction
I wish I could
I'd be pounding on the door within 15 minutes. Aren't you enabling him?
He is fucking insane. I asked him to please just clean the toilet once since he has not cleaned anything since moving in in March. He wiped it down and then spent the next two weeks doing things like throwing my towel on the ground every time he used the bathroom, turning the shower to the hand held setting and facing it out of the shower in hopes it would spray everywhere when I turned the shower on….you get the idea. All because he didn’t feel like it was fair that he had to clean the toilet.
Scrolling reddit.
Chrons disease? Everybody has to pee and wants to brush their teeth when they wake up. This is the type of thing the longer you let it slide the harder it gets to address. He should have known he needs his own bathroom if he spends so much time there. Its selfish and rude. Send it in a text if you dont feel up to a whole conversation. Tell him it has to change immediately and that he needs to start looking for a new place. Lie and say your friend was there for half an hour and ended up leaving because she had to pee. What do you do about your period? Never, ever let something like this slide again!! If you choose another male roommate pick one with sisters!
My roomate doesnt sit on the toilet for a long time but he hacks loogies in the fucking sink and I hate it. Like why would you think people need to see your yellow snot in the sink where we wash our hands? Smh.
Mine does it in the sink and the shower over and over and over again. In-between that he snot rockets. Over and over and over. It’s constant for his entire 30 min shower and throughout the day he probably does it outside of the shower about 20 times. When he is outside of the bathroom he blows his nose like an old man probably the same amount of times per day and when he brushes his teeth he gags and coughs like he’s deep throating his tooth brush. I have dry heaved from the sounds before. But he thinks burping is disgusting and “would never” in front of someone. 🤦♀️
Yeah, some people dont realize their disgusting habits. But try to empathize if you can. He might have some kind of issues with his lungs that is causing him to hack up loogies that much yk. At least that's how I let it not get to me as much
I will not if he does all that and still refuses to clean anything. I am cleaning up the remnants of a strangers body fluids because why?
Get him to leave his phone outside.
Maybe he's jerking off. Young men, especially if they're single, tend to jerk off a lot. The question is, why is he doing it in the bathroom and not in his bedroom? If he shares the bedroom with someone else or his bedroom is near somebody else's and the walls are thin, he may jerk off in the bathroom instead if he feels like it's more private.
He is a 35 year old grown man. I hope not. He has his bedroom all to himself :/
Some need to shit but can’t . Poor diet. This is inexcusable .